REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 756. Q&AF： Accepting Help In Your Business, Tell Family And Friends The Truth & Controlling What You Can Control

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.160 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today as

00:00:27.220 always we start off the week getting better that means we got q and af this is where you submit the

00:00:33.600 questions and we give you the answers now you could submit your questions a few different ways

00:00:37.960 the first way is you guys you can email these questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com

00:00:42.560 or you go on youtube in the q a episodes and drop your question in the comments we'll choose some

00:00:47.760 from there as well uh tomorrow just give you a quick rundown we're gonna have cti that stands

00:00:54.200 for cruise the internet that's where we put topics on the screen we speculate on what's true we

00:00:59.100 speculate on what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve some of these

00:01:03.320 problems going on in the world other times throughout the week we're gonna have real talk

00:01:07.620 real talk just five to twenty minutes of me giving you some real talk and other times we're gonna have

00:01:12.840 75 hard verses we do have a really good 75 hard verses coming at you guys later this week uh if

00:01:18.640 you're unfamiliar with 75 hard you can get the program for free at episode 208 uh it is the

00:01:26.140 world's most famous mental transformation program in history and it is free 75 hard is the initial

00:01:33.180 phase of the live hard lifestyle and again you can get that for free at episode 208 there is a book

00:01:38.340 available called the book on mental toughness you can get that at andy for seller.com that will

00:01:44.120 outline the entire program but it has a whole bunch of extra stuff in it too 10 chapters on mental

00:01:49.480 toughness case studies on very famous people who have used mental toughness uh and they explain what

00:01:54.880 it means to them very valuable book not required to do the program uh but you can get it if you want

00:02:00.180 at andy for seller.com now one of the things we do here at the show is we don't run ads on the show

00:02:05.000 um i don't want to listen to someone bitch about what i can and can't say that's not what this show's

00:02:11.160 about all right i'm not here to please advertisers i'm here to speak about the things that i think

00:02:15.980 are relevant and because of that we are constantly dealing with shadow bans traffic throttling uh removal

00:02:23.920 of episodes and it means that we heavily rely on you guys to share the show if you don't share the

00:02:29.440 show nobody knows about it all right so the show makes you think if it makes you laugh if it gives you

00:02:35.680 new perspective if it's something that you think people need to hear do us a solid and share

00:02:41.060 the show all right don't be a hoe show the show all right what's up what's going on dude not much

00:02:46.180 checking the grape out today i see yeah well actually you get to a little mix there yeah i

00:02:50.280 got my this is my pre-workout mix cocktail mm-hmm yep

00:02:54.880 yeah well what all is in that you do megawatt and megawatt and carnitine alpha surge creatine

00:03:05.020 man yeah it's good too a little jungle juice there yeah it's uh it's a great pre-workout i like

00:03:11.400 it so yeah what's up with you yeah you nothing much man um you know just here to help make people

00:03:18.660 better cool let's get into it let's knock it out yeah um guys andy question number one uh andy just

00:03:27.600 wanted to start with saying thank you for changing my life i've been a listener since the original mf ceo

00:03:32.620 days went to my first rta event in st louis a couple of years ago when david goggins was there

00:03:37.720 that changed my life it was the day i decided to risk it all and start a company now i have two

00:03:43.820 one in agricultural drone spraying and one in construction anyway thank you for helping me

00:03:49.260 make that push my question is when was it that you decided to accept help in your business i sort of

00:03:57.520 get the feeling that you are a i want to get it done my kind of way guy so am i but when do you

00:04:03.720 choose to let someone help you take some of the responsibility but yet let them do it in their own

00:04:09.200 way i know you have to have failure to succeed but do you allow your crew to fail on your dime

00:04:15.720 so that they can get better at what they do of course you are there to help guide them but how do you

00:04:21.340 know when is the right time to let go of some of the responsibilities and let someone take over a

00:04:27.220 bit it's nerve-wracking to not be in complete control but also i'm too busy now to not allow

00:04:33.140 someone else to take some of this off my plate too what's your thoughts on this andy well the last

00:04:37.360 part is the last sentence where he says i'm too busy to not have people take some of this off off the

00:04:43.340 plate look you have to realize that you could only go so far by yourself all right and you have to

00:04:49.720 learn to get comfortable not just trusting people but helping people learn helping people grow helping

00:04:57.520 people gain skills and then communicating to them what the purpose of your business is so that they

00:05:03.700 can apply those skills there uh yeah a lot of people do like to make all the decisions yeah a lot

00:05:09.800 of people do tend to do that longer than necessary you know when you first start out in business it is

00:05:15.700 just you so you're making all the decisions you're doing all the calls you're sending all the

00:05:19.580 emails you're building all the relationships but as you go um you have to realize that you can only

00:05:26.180 go so far without anybody actually helping you and your goal should be to surround yourself with people

00:05:33.260 who are better at the things that you are not great at so that you can have a great organization

00:05:40.260 overall right like i'm i don't know how to create graphics or create uh you know animations but those

00:05:47.360 are things that we use in our companies every day so i have to find people that are great at those

00:05:52.200 things and then we have to merge their vision with my vision and then eventually they learn and then

00:05:57.860 they start running the direction that we need them to go now in terms of letting them make mistakes

00:06:03.940 yeah man you know it's very important that you understand this as a business owner or as a leader or a

00:06:12.120 manager of an organization if you fire someone or get rid of someone every single time they make

00:06:18.540 a mistake the person that you bring in behind them is likely to make the same mistake again so that

00:06:24.360 means it's going to cost you twice all right and if you fire the second person the third person is going

00:06:29.900 to make the same mistake again so you have to think this out logically would you rather have the person

00:06:36.120 who works with you who you like who you trust who you know is skilled who's made a mistake and then is it

00:06:42.780 going to make that mistake again or would you rather replace that person every time and continue to pay for

00:06:47.940 the mistakes over and over again the answer is obvious so we have to understand that mistakes that people

00:06:54.760 make quote unquote to use this term on your dime are actually investments in that person's skill set

00:07:02.480 investments in that person's um progression and and increases their stock value to the organization

00:07:09.160 but that's only if they learn from their mistakes if they come and they make the same mistake over and

00:07:14.900 over and over again that's where you have to make a change so um that's pretty much it man you know

00:07:21.600 it's not a natural thing to go from you know being on your own to having employees i remember you know

00:07:30.340 the hardest thing i ever had to do in business and this is going to sound stupid like looking back it

00:07:35.800 sounds ridiculous but when we went from the first store to the second store that was the biggest deal

00:07:41.800 that we could do because it took us five years to do that the reason it took us five years to do that

00:07:47.900 is because we thought that people were going to show up late we thought people were going to steal

00:07:53.980 we thought people were going to treat us wrong we thought people would treat the customers wrong guess what

00:07:58.280 that happened okay and that happened multiple times and what we did what it allowed us to do was create

00:08:05.640 systems so that couldn't happen and then we were able to scale the business out so you have to

00:08:11.420 understand that there's tons of value in this process and you're not going to eliminate someone else's

00:08:18.720 mistakes you just have to understand when is the time that we're going to have grace with that use it as a

00:08:25.280 learning experience help them grow evolve get better and become a stronger asset or when is the

00:08:30.500 time that we're going to have to make a change and when we have to make a change it comes from someone

00:08:34.680 making the same mistake over and over and over again uh showing apathy about learning from that mistake

00:08:40.340 and then just not getting any better so that's my answer on the on the whole concept there i love that i

00:08:46.520 got i got two questions for you on this so so the first one would you say that you know if if you are

00:08:51.320 an entrepreneur you run a team you know you have a little you have a business would you say that the

00:08:56.800 the biggest problem or the big the reason why people would have an issue trusting other people

00:09:01.820 is because that leader you didn't you didn't invest in their skills at all like you're scared that

00:09:06.820 they're going to fail but that's really like a you problem what do you mean like if i'm not if i'm

00:09:12.420 the ceo i don't know business right and i'm scared to kind of like you know delegate and push some task

00:09:16.680 off on people does is that saying more about me and my inability to kind of like raise those people

00:09:22.980 up like it's well look that's not a natural thing that's what i'm saying like who do you who do you

00:09:27.780 trust the most i trust myself right and it takes when you have all your money and all your effort and

00:09:35.280 all your time and your entire life invested in this business in this project and your your ass is on

00:09:40.740 the line every day it's very difficult to give that over to someone else knowing that they could

00:09:45.700 screw up and cost you and fuck it up yeah so but here's the thing we have to understand bro

00:09:50.480 is that very few mistakes are fatal very very very few almost everything can be corrected right so um

00:09:59.040 you know allow people to make some mistakes correct them and as long as they learn and make up for it

00:10:04.660 it's an asset to your team yeah yeah i love it uh there's a second follow-up too man uh because you

00:10:10.860 you've met you know thousands of other entrepreneurs right at all different levels you've seen this game

00:10:16.100 at all different levels you know i feel like there and this might just be me looking from the outside

00:10:21.560 inside right but like i feel like you know i've met people who've owned businesses and they almost have

00:10:27.300 this like like this this this weird attachment on their business like it's their baby right and when

00:10:34.240 you're trying to you know build a massive company at what point do you transition that like

00:10:39.120 this is not just my baby this is our baby and you know my vision that i originally had is great but

00:10:45.040 like this is our vision now like when do you start when do you make that transition well it's not

00:10:48.800 really a transition dude it's just a way of of thinking you know and i agree with you a lot of people do

00:10:55.280 get overly emotional about their business because of what i just said a minute ago it makes sense

00:10:59.860 well yeah bro look most employees that work for someone i'm not talking about a big corporate

00:11:05.180 organization you know amazons and shit like that because they're so far removed from the ownership

00:11:12.480 that they can't really understand how that person would feel about it but you got to understand if

00:11:17.220 you're a regular like say regular person running a small to mid-sized business bro that's everything

00:11:23.860 you've you've invested your nights your weekends you've foregone all kinds of normalcies in your life

00:11:30.100 like a person who hasn't done that could not possibly understand what you've been through to

00:11:36.300 have that business so it's natural for someone to like hold on to it but the thing is is that

00:11:42.080 if you want your business to become great and you want it to really scale you have to share that

00:11:49.460 quote-unquote ownership feeling with your entire team this is us this is what we're doing this is our

00:11:55.880 mission this is what we're going to build together and and when you do it like that you know because

00:12:01.880 most companies never do that and if they try to do that they don't really mean it um it creates

00:12:07.440 something pretty special that can grow pretty quickly you know what i mean um i think the biggest

00:12:12.680 thing that entrepreneurs struggle with is knowing that entrepreneurs think differently than

00:12:19.340 entrepreneurs they're a different kind of thinker so while an entrepreneur might think

00:12:23.820 you know i have to own my own business to feel validated or be successful there's lots of

00:12:30.980 entrepreneurs that are going to say bro you know i don't want all that shit but i want to be a key

00:12:35.660 fucking player in an awesome winning organization i don't need to be jerry jones that owns the cowboys

00:12:41.780 but i want to be emmett smith the hall of fame player you know what i'm saying and that's the

00:12:46.500 mentality of most people and true entrepreneurs um have a problem connecting that because dude we

00:12:53.640 only know and see the world through the way that we think in our perspective so for the longest time

00:13:00.040 i i couldn't understand people that didn't see it like me until i had someone pointed out to me i had

00:13:06.340 this lady um who was uh an executive at domino's pizza that i got to meet you know 15 years ago

00:13:12.680 and we were having a good conversation and she was like hey she's like you need to realize this right

00:13:18.480 now is that you're the anomaly they're most of these people are not going to think like you they

00:13:23.260 don't want to invest their entire lives in this they they want to they want to contribute they want

00:13:27.780 to do something valuable but they don't necessarily want to own that entire risk on their back because

00:13:33.200 as you know that's a crazy amount of pressure and it is and not everybody's built for it and that's

00:13:39.040 why i get so upset about the way that the internet culture is painting this picture for every single

00:13:44.200 person as if they're an entrepreneur entrepreneur is the hardest path you will ever take for a career

00:13:50.260 it is infinitely harder it's not even close it's not even comparable it's entrepreneur and everything

00:13:56.160 else it's entrepreneur and pro athlete that it it's entrepreneur and fucking every everything

00:14:03.940 everything else you think is a high earning job or a prestigious job youtube influencer of all this shit

00:14:09.760 running an actual organization and building it from the ground up is the hardest fucking thing

00:14:14.080 you could ever choose to do with your life period and not everybody wants to do that because it does

00:14:19.260 consume your entire life that's reality um and the guys that do it they love it they're like bro this

00:14:26.280 is awesome i love this right and then the regular uh people who aren't built that way mentally they

00:14:32.560 look at it and they're like i don't want to give all that i want to have about bro you're you're just

00:14:36.580 it's okay we see the world differently you know it's hard for people to understand that there are people

00:14:42.860 out there that actually love that life you know what i mean yeah i love it man so we have to always

00:14:48.620 just think dude you know what are we trying to do what are we what is our mission what is our goal

00:14:54.360 where are we trying to get to and how can i utilize the people around me and get them involved and get

00:15:02.620 them to want to to do what we're trying to do uh in a way where it makes them feel fulfilled and it

00:15:09.300 makes them happy and it builds a career for them so i truly think one of the biggest keys about

00:15:14.340 building a successful organization is is really just building it for the people around you that's

00:15:21.160 that's what it comes down to and that took me about 15 years to figure out in business

00:15:24.840 i love it uh guys andy question number two uh andy as i've grown i've tried my best to build

00:15:33.320 the people around me in the process the problem i'm having with family specifically is that they

00:15:39.780 take what i say the wrong way and start to play victim my question to you is have you ever made

00:15:45.280 any adjustments to your delivery to get people to listen uh they need my help but i don't want to

00:15:51.240 push them away with the way that i deliver the message so people that you really care about do you

00:15:56.260 change the delivery i mean what's your what's your outlook on that no i think if you really care

00:16:00.900 about someone you tell them the truth i think if you really want to be kind to someone you tell

00:16:04.640 them the truth i think if you really want the best for someone you tell them the exact truth

00:16:08.540 you know the truth doesn't have to be mean that's what people don't they have this mentality where

00:16:14.180 they say oh i gotta have a hard conversation what's hard about telling someone the truth about where they

00:16:22.000 need to improve when you care about that person don't you want the best life for that person don't

00:16:26.960 you want them to win don't you want them to be successful if you did then why would you hesitate

00:16:32.320 to tell them how they could get better now if you do feel like you are

00:16:39.280 criticizing them in a negative way or if it comes across that way that's one of two things

00:16:45.480 one your delivery is off and you need to get your intent right usually people understand and can feel

00:16:52.680 someone's intent so like if i were to correct someone even if it's somewhat from the outside

00:16:58.500 harsh that person can usually feel the intent behind it which is hey i want you to get better

00:17:04.080 and that's how it works but a lot of operators leaders ceos etc managers they don't have the right

00:17:14.000 intent their intent is still about them and how they're going to perform and how they're going to

00:17:19.320 hit their metrics and how they're going to get paid so when they criticize someone it's like

00:17:23.680 hey dude you're a piece of shit you're fucking costing me blah blah blah that is not the right

00:17:28.760 intent the right intent is hey bro you're fucking up right here and the reason i'm telling you you're

00:17:35.140 fucking up is because i want the best for you okay you're doing this you're doing this you're doing

00:17:38.940 this and we need you doing this you want to be good yeah all right well this is what you need to do

00:17:43.800 and and dude uh if you have it that if you if you present the conversation the right way i've found

00:17:53.480 that the harshness of it is almost irrelevant now are there times where you go a little too hard yeah

00:17:58.820 absolutely what should you do in those times well that's when you come back an hour later and you say

00:18:03.440 hey listen dude i love you man i appreciate you i want you to win that's why i'm saying it's not

00:18:09.700 personal if it came across personal uh the only thing personal here is that i want you to get

00:18:13.800 better okay and people fucking respect that and a lot of you guys are so fucking soft and so afraid

00:18:20.260 to say anything like if you think you're going to build a successful organization when you're afraid

00:18:26.320 to have conversations with people because you're afraid they're going to be mad at you you're not

00:18:30.600 going to do very well dude you're actually you're not going to make it at all so that that comes down

00:18:36.640 to us adjusting how we look at these conversations and how we should look at these conversations where

00:18:44.040 criticism uh is involved is that we are having this conversation because i want my person standing

00:18:51.640 here in front of me who who i care about to get better and if they get better we all get better so

00:18:58.360 it's about changing the perspective of the conversation like this whole i gotta have a hard

00:19:04.320 conversation with bro you're setting it up to be hard what's hard about that what's hard about

00:19:08.960 telling someone hey man i want you to do this and this so you'd be better what's hard i mean that that

00:19:14.360 shouldn't be hard that like if you actually care about them you should be jumping at the chance to

00:19:19.860 say hey dude i noticed this i noticed this you know if you're a peer if you're a peer of someone

00:19:24.640 you're the same level of them uh and you're building an organization holding someone accountable to their

00:19:30.320 performance is is a tremendous asset that you you could have like dude peer-to-peer leadership

00:19:37.460 is one of the most valuable skill sets and people don't understand that they can even lead that way

00:19:42.220 they think to be a leader you got to have a title dude to be a leader you you lead and then you get

00:19:47.440 the title of leader right you lead first and then eventually people recognize you as the leader they

00:19:52.420 don't come around and say you're a leader and now you need to go lead that's not how the fuck it works

00:19:56.760 the best leaders in the world got put into leadership roles because they were leading before

00:20:01.480 they were actually named the leader that's the truth nobody gets elected president without some

00:20:07.240 sort of you know evidence that they're a leader right nobody gets to be ceo without some evidence

00:20:13.260 that they're a leader they were doing that before and that's actually the key to your entire career

00:20:17.960 whatever position you want wherever you were trying to go whatever you were trying to build you have

00:20:23.660 to do that before you actually get told that this is your role you see what i'm saying yeah you think

00:20:30.700 great artists were not artists before they were considered great right you see what i'm saying they

00:20:36.160 were doing that for a long time so you have to decide where you want to go start doing it and

00:20:40.620 eventually you'll become that and a lot of people think it's the other way they they want someone

00:20:44.740 to come along and say you're a great artist oh now i'll start now i'll start yeah right a masterpiece

00:20:49.140 yeah dude and that's not how it works people got it backwards i want to ask you on that you talk

00:20:54.000 about peer-to-peer leadership and that accountability aspect why do you why do you think so many people

00:20:58.200 have issues with holding you know friends or family or peers accountable well i think it's because what

00:21:04.940 we talked about a minute ago they're afraid of some sort of personal backlash they're afraid of them

00:21:09.760 not liking them you know the idea of not having people not like you is insane like you don't like

00:21:17.000 everybody so you think think everybody's gonna like you like you don't if you really just think

00:21:22.440 about it like there's a whole list of people i don't fucking like right you know i'm saying so i

00:21:26.780 don't expect everybody to like me i'm sure there's a list of people that don't like you yeah i assume

00:21:31.360 there and i assume it is what it is but i also assume that that's okay you know what i'm saying like

00:21:37.160 this is america bro you don't have to like me you can think whatever the fuck you want i'm gonna do

00:21:40.780 what i'm gonna do i'm gonna help the people around me uh and and quite honestly um if they

00:21:46.700 don't like me and we still accomplish the goal i'm okay with that too right because they're better

00:21:51.360 the customer's better and i'm better we're all winning so we don't always have to get along bro

00:21:56.220 um but i find that when you do have the proper intent people do get along because they know that

00:22:03.060 you know hey like this really dude this all comes down to intent uh i think another issue is is

00:22:08.980 that you know people have a hard time holding you know themselves accountable so if you can't hold

00:22:14.640 yourself accountable and you can't live with integrity to the own rules that you set in your

00:22:18.780 brain you're always going to feel uncomfortable holding someone else accountable you know like

00:22:23.220 you get that weird feeling we're like fuck dude they might not listen to me well yeah because you

00:22:27.100 don't listen to you you see what i'm saying so there's all kinds of things that go into this but

00:22:32.200 ultimately it comes down to your intent if your intent is right and you care about the goal you care

00:22:38.100 about the person um you know helping someone get better should be something that you seek to do

00:22:45.080 not something that you try to avoid i love it man i love it guys andy question number uh three

00:22:52.440 question number three guys andy i love the show your message everything you teach brother is truly

00:22:58.260 changing things out here one message that i love your take on is controlling the things you can't

00:23:04.060 control i feel too often people let external things completely take over their lives regardless if

00:23:10.520 those things are actually taking over their lives my question is though what was an internal battle that

00:23:16.920 you struggled with identified and overcame in your journey thus far how did you recognize it and how did

00:23:23.680 you defeat it yeah so for me uh it was food and alcohol okay i could not control

00:23:31.200 my food right in 2014 15 16 here i am running this massive company and i'm 350 fucking pounds and my

00:23:41.800 companies all of them are based around fitness how does that make sense it doesn't all right and

00:23:48.100 something that i i came to realize around that time which is ultimately you know what led to the

00:23:53.340 development of live hard and 75 hard is that if i can't control the basics how can i control the big

00:23:59.700 stuff you see what i'm saying and the control of the big stuff comes from your ability to master the

00:24:05.680 basics so when i looked in the mirror and i saw myself at 350 pounds yeah i didn't like it

00:24:12.000 but i went my whole life where i would die it down and then get fat again and die it down and then get

00:24:17.340 fat again and die it down and then get fat again i did that a bunch of times and it wasn't until i

00:24:22.380 realized that that was a mental weakness that that was a mental problem i was giving control

00:24:29.740 over myself to things that were legitimately inanimate objects food alcohol whatever these

00:24:39.020 are not even influential things these are just things this is just a thing it's a fucking can with

00:24:44.900 some liquid in it and when we start looking at things for what they actually are we break it down

00:24:50.640 it's pretty embarrassing and i had that mental realization where i'm like dude you're up here

00:24:56.900 you know giving all this advice leading these people and you're you're a fucking fraud dude you

00:25:02.620 can't even control the basic shit in your life and at that time you know i was definitely you know on

00:25:08.800 this search of you know what's my purpose and you know mentally what am i supposed to be doing and

00:25:15.540 how how do i feel better about myself you know and i thought there was something wrong with me

00:25:20.160 because i didn't feel good about myself no i didn't feel good about myself because i wasn't

00:25:24.860 exercising basic levels of discipline in my life which makes me feel helpless which makes me feel

00:25:30.520 chaotic which takes away all the things that make us feel good confidence self-esteem self-belief

00:25:37.200 these things matter every day to how we feel about ourselves and if we can't even keep the promises

00:25:43.840 that we make to ourselves then we know that on the inside like that's our our internal voice like

00:25:50.320 you know you're full of shit like all of you sitting right there right now and you're listening to this

00:25:55.460 show you know that fucking a whole bunch of you are full of shit because you're not living the

00:26:01.800 standard that you know you should live okay and until you live that standard until you get to that point

00:26:07.000 where you are actually controlling the things that you know you need to control you are going to

00:26:12.740 continue to feel bad about yourself so when i discovered that it changed my life um first off i got

00:26:22.180 pissed i was like dude i can't believe i allow these inanimate things to control my decision making

00:26:28.300 i'm i'm i take pride in being you know a strong person and i was fooling myself because i wasn't a

00:26:34.740 strong person i was lying to myself i thought because i had a few dollars and you know i was i

00:26:40.540 had become somewhat successful uh which at the time i was very successful in my mind and now i look

00:26:46.160 that's a weird dynamic there like you even at that place in 2014 to most people that that was success

00:26:52.440 oh yeah compared to where you are now though like what's expedient yeah but see dude it it happened

00:26:57.460 organically because i got in control of all the things that i could control i started controlling my food i

00:27:02.640 started controlling what i drank i started controlling how i exercise and i was i was diligent

00:27:07.420 about it and when i started controlling all the things in my life that i had control of which by

00:27:14.060 the way are a lot it's most of the things that make up our quality of life we are in control of okay

00:27:19.740 yeah we're not in control of the economy yeah we're not in control of you know attacks that happen or

00:27:25.880 whatever right fucking weather yeah we can't control these things yeah but and that's why in live hard

00:27:31.560 there's outdoor workouts because guess what we're not always going to be able to control the

00:27:36.380 environment but we have to execute anyway and when we start to control these things regardless of

00:27:42.220 what's going on around us that's what builds the confidence that's what builds the self-belief that's

00:27:47.280 what takes you from this place of uncertainty and anxiousness and you know uh feeling poorly about

00:27:55.420 yourself to a place of strength where you have certainty you have belief you have confidence

00:28:01.300 you know that it doesn't matter what happens to you you're still going to get the job done and when

00:28:06.980 you're in that place you're very powerful and when you're in the other place you're very weak

00:28:10.920 now you could project strength from that place but it's not real and when you go home at night you

00:28:16.180 just feel like more of a fraud so if you want to feel good and you want to feel fulfilled and you

00:28:21.260 want to have true confidence true belief and really just set your life on a path for massive levels of

00:28:27.680 success you have to learn to control the things that you are in control of and the truth of the

00:28:32.340 matter is you are in control of almost everything that dictates the quality of your life 98 of it

00:28:38.840 now we are very good at telling ourselves oh you know this happened or that happened or this or that or

00:28:44.520 this bro you're full of shit okay millions of people just like you have gone way further than you

00:28:50.220 with worse circumstances that's the truth and you sit there and you pick apart why you're not where you

00:28:55.160 are when in reality you're only not where you are because of a very simple concept you have refused

00:29:01.240 to understand that you are in control of all of these things and because you don't want to put in

00:29:07.900 the effort or you've been hanging around the wrong people that have convinced you otherwise you are now

00:29:12.920 at a point where you feel like you're floating through the air and life just sort of comes at me and

00:29:17.960 we'll see what happens it's a completely different type of living those people never get anywhere you

00:29:23.880 cannot get anywhere without intentional control of your environment that that is available to you

00:29:30.660 cannot get anywhere if you float through life and you have that attitude you know it's kind of take

00:29:38.040 what you get and it's never good because all the people who are living the other way the intentional way

00:29:43.220 they are intentionally controlling their outcome they are intentionally controlling their environment

00:29:47.140 they are intentionally making decisions that they know and they built that

00:29:50.840 that mental strength to do so there those people take all the good shit and it's what's left over

00:29:57.540 is for the floaters right so um yeah man i mean this is the whole concept of what live hard's about

00:30:03.960 what you know people think they still think it's a fucking diet like i see these trainers talk shit on

00:30:09.480 it and they say oh it's it's a fucking diet you haven't even read the program bro if you were smart

00:30:14.360 you'd use the fucking framework of the program to get your clients results because they would get 10 times

00:30:19.280 better results and not only would they get better results they're gonna when they get better results

00:30:24.180 you look better as a trainer you see what i'm saying so like it's a mental reprogramming so that you can

00:30:31.120 go from someone who's out of control to someone who is in control and when you live your life in control

00:30:37.240 you control the outcome for most things so you know we've been conditioned over and over and over and

00:30:44.180 over again for for dude as long as i can remember in my life that there was uncertainty in the outcome

00:30:51.300 of our existences because you know uh that's just the way it was like people will say things you know

00:30:57.480 and you never really hear super wealthy successful accomplished people say this you always hear people

00:31:05.160 say this they haven't done anything they talk about luck they talk about circumstance they talk about

00:31:10.440 yeah all these things that you know i didn't have the brakes i didn't get this i didn't get that

00:31:15.340 well that's not true bro what's what's true is you didn't control intentionally your life while other

00:31:22.600 people did okay and you know that's the mentality that the masses have about the existence dude think

00:31:29.460 about everybody you know how do they live do they live intentionally where they control every single

00:31:34.340 decision that they make or do they have the attitude of well that's just life you know i got this

00:31:40.420 i'll get through it these are my cards yeah what yeah yeah where do most people live most people

00:31:45.820 live there and i would say it's like 98 of people live there which if you really think about what

00:31:52.740 that means for you someone who's trying to live intentionally that means they're that it's unlimited

00:31:58.060 uh buffet of success for you because no one else even trying to eat they're just trying to you know

00:32:03.080 see what they can catch off the dinner table you're over there making the fucking dinner and you're

00:32:07.360 going to eat as much as possible and they're going to get a couple bites of the scraps and that's

00:32:10.980 the reality dude and it's more than just success it's how you feel about yourself right how many of

00:32:17.660 you feel uncertain or in this place of uh anxiousness or in this place of you know i'm not sure how this

00:32:25.400 is going to work out most people feel that way but people who intentionally control their decisions

00:32:31.500 and they've developed the discipline to do the things they know they need to do and when they

00:32:36.440 make a promise to themselves they can do it those are the people that feel amazing those are the people

00:32:41.600 that are fulfilled those are the people that are excited about life and they're pumped and they want

00:32:46.080 to attack it completely changes your existence and anybody who's actually done 75 hard or the full live

00:32:52.960 hard program or lives that lifestyle understands exactly what i'm talking about but people who don't

00:32:58.320 they're like oh this sounds like hocus pocus well yeah it does because you you know anything's going

00:33:02.700 to sound like hocus pocus when you've never fucking done it right yeah it's real man let me ask you

00:33:06.800 this too because i also feel like you know there's a third class of people and this is like i don't

00:33:11.200 know if you want to call them like this is where the miserable people will live but people who know

00:33:15.800 that there's something they have to change they like they know it and they don't they know nothing

00:33:20.600 about yeah yeah can we talk about that a little bit well i mean you said it they're miserable

00:33:24.940 yeah they're gonna be if you know what you need to do and you do not do it every single time you

00:33:32.480 tell yourself in the morning today's the day i'm gonna eat right today i'm gonna lift today i'm gonna

00:33:37.840 make these emails today and you don't do it when you go to bed your stocking yourself shrinks a little

00:33:42.740 bit every day and if you do that for years and years and years and years and years you beat down your own

00:33:49.440 self-image so far that it becomes this little speck of dust and you cannot even comprehend that

00:33:56.480 you are capable of anything you see what i'm saying so if you beat on yourself over and over and over

00:34:01.480 again i'm not talking about this negative self-talk i'm talking about with your actions i'm talking

00:34:06.360 about you knowing what you need to do and then you not doing it that is intentional degradation of

00:34:13.060 one's own character and belief in themselves and it will it will shrink you down to nothing to where

00:34:18.500 you think you can do nothing be nothing create nothing become nothing and you'll be miserable

00:34:22.880 that's the reality but it's easy to change by just understanding and taking ownerships of our lives and

00:34:29.080 saying hey man um i'm actually in control of way more than i'm giving myself credit for and i've been

00:34:34.660 lying to myself that's the key admit that you've been lying to yourself it's okay we've all lied to

00:34:41.700 ourselves over and over again in our lives none of these people out here that pretend like they've never

00:34:46.860 done that they're full of shit everybody does it it's called the human experience and we are so

00:34:53.160 good at lying to ourselves that it doesn't even sound like a lie after a while after a while it's

00:34:58.400 just the truth you know i can't control what i eat i'm big bone i'm overweight because my mom was

00:35:04.040 overweight right and and after a while you just accept that you tell yourself that story even if it's a

00:35:10.460 lie you see what i'm saying so we have to admit to ourselves and say yeah i have been lying to myself

00:35:18.480 and that's the first step that is the first step to changing your entire life it's just taking

00:35:23.100 responsibility for the lies that you have been telling yourself for years and years and years

00:35:27.480 and then saying okay well what can i actually do and that's a dude you're you're being born into a

00:35:33.780 whole new world whenever you stop that and you stop that cycle of lying to yourself and then start

00:35:40.160 taking the actual proper intentful action towards who you want to become and bro every single day and

00:35:49.640 people will attest to this that live live hard lifestyle when you wake up in the morning and you

00:35:53.780 know you did exactly what you're supposed to do the day before you have this power about you already

00:35:59.340 because you're like fuck yeah bro all right i'm you might look in the mirror you might look at your

00:36:03.020 bank account you might look at your life and say fuck it's still kind of fucked up but i did what

00:36:08.060 i was supposed to do yesterday and it gives you this extra power that most people never ever experience

00:36:14.380 even once which is really sad yeah i mean if you want to learn that program what i'm that's the live

00:36:20.440 hard program guys like the live hard program will develop the skill set that we are talking about

00:36:25.680 right here it will teach you to control the controllables it will teach you to have self-belief

00:36:31.060 confidence self-esteem in yourself because you are keeping the promises that you make to yourself

00:36:36.140 every day it also happens to get you in shape but it's still not a fitness program and it's still

00:36:41.360 not a diet and it's still not a fucking challenge it's a program it's a lifestyle you can get it for

00:36:47.600 free in episode 208 i love it man i love it guys andy that was three all right guys let's go out have a

00:36:54.620 good week we'll see you on cti tomorrow

00:36:56.580 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in

00:37:03.740 the cold bad bitch booted slow got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close

00:37:10.920 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 05, 2024

756. Q&AF： Accepting Help In Your Business, Tell Family And Friends The Truth & Controlling What You Can Control

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