REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 767. Q&AF： Your First Luxury Sports Car, Competence Vs. Ego & Being Replaced

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:20.780 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today as

00:00:26.320 always on monday we have q and af uh that's where you submit the questions and we give you the

00:00:31.480 answers now you could submit your questions a few different ways the first way is guys you can email

00:00:36.380 these questions into ask andy at andy for selling.com or you can go on youtube on the comment

00:00:41.800 section drop your question in there and we'll pick some from there as well other times you tune in

00:00:47.560 like tomorrow we're going to have cti okay that stands for cruise the internet we're going to put

00:00:52.280 topics on the screen we're going to speculate on what's true what's not true and then we're going

00:00:56.600 to talk about how we the people need to solve these problems going on in the world other times we're

00:01:00.660 going to have real talk that's just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk and then

00:01:04.660 we have 75 hard verses that's where people who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show and

00:01:11.400 talk about how their life was before and how they use the 75 hard program to get it back on track now

00:01:17.420 if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is

00:01:21.960 available for free at episode 208 on the audio feed only now the live hard program if you're

00:01:27.940 unfamiliar with it is the world's most famous mental toughness program ever created uh and again

00:01:34.220 you can get it for free at episode 208 there is a book called the book on mental toughness available

00:01:38.700 on my website andy for seller.com it outlines the entire live hard program plus 10 chapters on mental

00:01:45.000 toughness uh plus a number of case studies on some famous people and how they use mental toughness to

00:01:49.680 become the famous people that you recognize book is not required but we can't keep it in stock so

00:01:55.700 people must like it now we don't have uh commercials on this show because i don't want to

00:02:00.960 listen to what people tell me when they don't like what i have to say all right we talk about the things

00:02:07.280 on this show that need to be talked about not what is allowed to be talked about and so as a trade for

00:02:13.100 not running ads on the show i ask very simply that you help us share the show all right so if the show

00:02:17.400 makes you think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective uh if it's information that you

00:02:21.740 think needs to be heard we rely on you guys to to help us grow the show so uh don't be a hoe

00:02:26.560 share the show all right what's up dude what's going on man not much how are you i'm all right a

00:02:31.000 little spiffy today yeah i like this shirt looking good that's a good shirt it's a good shirt is that one

00:02:35.380 of your golf shirts it could be yeah it's a good one apparently it was on like shark tank or something

00:02:39.840 like that that shirt was yeah the company that made it what's the company uh collars and co oh

00:02:45.120 really yeah you like it yeah it was like a stiff collar is it i thought we is this an ad it's coming

00:02:49.460 no i mean it could be it's gonna be a couple of genuine you like their stuff that's a good brand

00:02:53.180 though man yeah give them a plug what is it collars and co man i'll wash it a few times and yeah

00:02:57.220 all right stays collars and co make all of your shirts yeah all right yeah see that's how we do ads

00:03:02.760 bro we talk about real shit yeah real shit that we like actually works and they don't give us

00:03:06.980 anything for it's called genuine recommendation see that's how the world's supposed to be

00:03:11.180 capitalism baby yeah yeah what's going on with you man nothing man just uh you know just doing it

00:03:17.920 dude yeah you know what i'm saying yeah it's a little hot we got that we got that fake fall here

00:03:22.520 for a couple weeks and now it's hot again well i was getting pissed because there's always that

00:03:25.660 time of year where like you leave the house and like fucking shorts and you know tank top and then

00:03:30.580 coming home you're in the parka oh yeah you know what i'm saying like that's how it's been for like

00:03:33.940 the last week or so and then now it's like back to the oven yeah it's i i like it the other way

00:03:38.440 i like where it's warm during the day and cool at night yeah that's cool now it's just hot all the

00:03:42.380 time it was dropping like 60 i know like that's perfect that's cool a little chilly you know but uh

00:03:47.680 but sweet man well uh let's make some people better today yeah and uh guys andy question number one

00:03:53.960 uh andy i love what you say about surrounding yourself with winners uh who want everyone around them to

00:04:00.560 win my question is how do i tell my employees uh about my new lamborghini that is getting delivered

00:04:07.440 tomorrow listen dude i will tell you a story about that okay this is so funny is that a real question

00:04:16.980 that's a real question no that's a real question so here's the deal man um i owned a lamborghini

00:04:24.760 i worked my whole life all right i when i was eight years old i saw a white lamborghini countosh

00:04:31.000 right then i became a car person and in my you know younger life i was always hustling dude i was

00:04:39.620 selling baseball cards i was doing snow cones i was doing uh you know door-to-door light bulb sales

00:04:45.480 like all this different shit to try and like i thought i was going to make enough money to get a

00:04:50.960 lambo right doing this stuff and uh i'm very thankful for it because it taught me a lot of

00:04:56.380 things about you know selling and not to be afraid of people and things like that but um

00:05:01.280 you know then i started my company and in 1999 as you guys know we started with literally twelve

00:05:08.200 thousand dollars that we got from painting the stripes on parking lots which was our night job our

00:05:12.600 overnight job um and our first day we sold literally uh seven dollars worth of product and then

00:05:20.540 the next day we had zero the next day we had twenty three dollars it took us eight months to have a day

00:05:24.340 over two hundred dollars it took us almost six years to get our second retail store open my first

00:05:29.840 10 years in business i made fifty eight thousand three hundred eighty dollars total all right i could

00:05:34.680 have made more working at mcdonald's that entire time that's not 58 grand a year that's the total

00:05:39.440 amount i made um my 11th year i made six figures my 12th year i made seven figures and um you know

00:05:49.720 obviously it kept progressing because i never stepped off i never let off the gas but i when i

00:05:56.380 came time to get my first lamborghini i had owned a couple cool cars i had a aston martin vantage

00:06:01.880 which was like kind of like um you know it was pretty beat up we call it a cheater car it's like

00:06:07.520 one of those cars with a gazillion miles on it but it still looks cool on the outside aston's always

00:06:11.660 i started with that you know and i loved it dude i drove the shit out of his manual transmission

00:06:15.940 um then i had a couple 911 turbo s's i had a couple r8s and then i bought my lambo my lambo was

00:06:24.600 like a huge deal for me because like it was a fucking lambo like that was my dream car that name

00:06:30.300 is synonymous with success yeah bro it was a fucking lamborghini yeah i wanted a white lamborghini

00:06:34.940 dude and so i ended up buying a 2011 uh it was used but it was only a year old um

00:06:42.400 gallardo super leggera it was white and i owned that car for over a year before i ever told anybody

00:06:53.060 that i owned it because of the same reason that you're talking about you're afraid that people are

00:06:58.180 going to get turned off and that they're going to get pissed off and that they're going to you know

00:07:03.520 say things you know little snickers and it's going to ruin your your thing and i have to tell you there

00:07:09.180 will be people that get jealous and there will be people that get upset and there will be people that

00:07:13.780 uh say those things but i will also tell you that it's a great weeding out of the people who will

00:07:23.780 eventually be the bad eggs in your company anyway and the way i figured this out is i had a buddy of

00:07:29.300 mine who also had cars and he had driven cool cars for a long time and i asked him i i was i had the

00:07:36.020 car for like a year and i said hey bro like do your employees ever get upset that you drive uh you know

00:07:42.600 these cars and he was like he looked at me like dead serious in the face and he goes do you want any

00:07:47.620 employees that don't want to be successful for themselves and i'm like damn dude that's it that is

00:07:53.020 that is great yeah and um you know it just so happened like a couple days later i was driving

00:07:59.380 a lamborghini out at uh i was at uh what's that steakhouse over there at west county mall

00:08:06.580 is it still there yeah that's uh jay gilbert's yeah we went to jay gilbert's used to be a park on

00:08:13.140 the curb there and um as i was coming out i saw a couple of my guys that worked for me and they

00:08:19.020 flipped the fuck out like in a good way they were like bro that is so awesome blah blah blah blah blah

00:08:24.120 and then that one guy now that guy who fucking saw me walking out of the mall is now a multi-millionaire

00:08:29.960 in our organization and he's a franchisee of our company okay so um just for reference there yeah i'm

00:08:37.800 just letting you know like and and yes there were people that were pissed and those people left and

00:08:43.740 you know what you know what happened more people came in who thought that shit was cool and who want

00:08:48.100 those things for themselves maybe they don't want a car maybe they don't want to you know the things

00:08:52.240 i want but they want to be successful and they have their own dreams and goals and desires in life and

00:08:57.900 they're willing to work for that and they're inspired by other people's success which creates

00:09:01.820 amazing culture it creates a winning culture it creates a situation where people do root for each

00:09:06.760 other and they're happy for each other um and you have to go through that tough part where people

00:09:10.960 you know the wrong people don't like it so uh my advice to you is to understand that when you first

00:09:19.100 step into that level of success because that's a high level of success as perceived by most people

00:09:26.900 most people don't know someone who owns a lamborghini they've never met someone who owns a lamborghini

00:09:31.120 um all my friends own cars you know what i'm saying right so it's a it's a different level once you get

00:09:36.940 into that and yeah a lot of people are going to snicker and a lot of people are going to say

00:09:40.020 comments and they're going to say things like must be nice you know but like what i say to them

00:09:44.560 i still say this i had a guy say that when i was driving my bugatti up here at wally's he like said

00:09:50.300 must be nice i said yeah that's nice i worked my ass off for 25 years dude seven days a week what

00:09:56.300 were you doing for the last 25 years besides eating breathing drinking and shitting yeah and he just

00:10:01.780 looked at me like man dude i didn't mean it like that i'm like well dude maybe you should be conscious

00:10:05.500 about how you say things to people because i paid a big price for the life that i have

00:10:09.040 and um the point of the matter is is that i would personally look at it as an opportunity to weed

00:10:18.960 out the people who do not have the mindset of growth success drive ambition that you are going to need

00:10:26.720 to create a team to build what you're trying to build so yes you're going to have some pushback in

00:10:32.520 the beginning but ultimately it's going to make you surrounded by winners like bro i'm surrounded by

00:10:37.720 hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of highly ambitious winner type people that have goals

00:10:44.220 and dreams and ambitions and come to work every day to build their lives um and there's nothing

00:10:50.820 better than that man so so i'm just saying like yeah you're going to have a little a little uh

00:10:55.540 turbulence in the beginning but it's it's very worth the the leveling up because it makes everybody

00:11:00.920 else want to level up too i was about to say it's a massive ripple effect man and now a quick

00:11:05.740 question before i even get to that though i mean we're not saying like you got to take the fucking

00:11:09.180 delivery at the fucking at your office no you know what i'm saying like it ain't got to be this big

00:11:13.060 like showboat thing but you definitely shouldn't hide it no and also you know there's a way to present

00:11:18.640 things in a way like like dude you know if you look online there's people that are like yeah

00:11:24.080 fucking rolled up in my this and that and they talk all this shit and then there's people who like

00:11:28.780 show their stuff and they're passionate about it and then they tell the story of how they got it and

00:11:35.080 what they went through and that's what inspires people right like when people hear like that story

00:11:40.740 i just told you like when i sit down and tell someone that you could see their their face like

00:11:44.860 light up they're like damn dude yeah like is that real like you really worked for 10 years for 58 grand

00:11:50.040 and then you went it happened i'm like yeah but you got to remember in that time there wasn't really

00:11:54.860 social media the way it is today that econ wasn't the way it is today so it's different now it doesn't

00:12:00.180 take that long it takes years but it doesn't take 10 yeah uh but yeah man you know it's always

00:12:07.080 uncomfortable when people say remarks but you know after a while you stop caring you know you you have

00:12:12.560 to dude there's there's there's just levels of people out there and it's it's the way it is we all

00:12:18.600 want to say everybody's the same and everybody's equal and everybody thinks the same but they don't

00:12:22.880 and um i'll be honest dude i think when i look at my life for the last i don't know 15 years where

00:12:30.560 i've driven all kinds of crazy cars and lived an amazing life there's much more inspiration that

00:12:37.980 has come from that than hate um yeah there's been a few people that are like like dude you know

00:12:42.440 occasionally i'll get messages in my dms i don't want to see your cars when i work my ass off all day

00:12:47.320 it's like all right dude well then fucking unsubscribe i don't give a shit you know what i'm

00:12:52.260 saying fuck you that's how i think about it fucking look the other way if you don't want to

00:12:56.060 see winning bro because i'm going to continue to win and if i'm if me driving a car is going to

00:13:00.320 bother you you're going to be really pissed off when i'm running around in fucking europe in a

00:13:03.860 fucking 300 foot boat right you know what i'm saying like so i'm not stopping and the thing is is

00:13:10.080 like if you know you should look at this as a way to weed out the fucking negative people around you

00:13:15.760 and uh and that's been my experience and they were replaced by people who aren't negative

00:13:20.160 and who are excited i mean there's a number of guys bro like when i walk through the office here

00:13:25.220 when i that dude the number one question i get on a daily basis what's your drive today what's your

00:13:29.160 drive today what's your drive today i was about to say like every time we leave people coming out

00:13:31.720 to fucking like it's employees and dude i take the guys for rides you know i let guys check them out

00:13:36.100 and like you know drive them and like it's cool man it's needed too yeah it's needed i was gonna say

00:13:41.180 this i mean like even just because it exposes them to it exactly that's what i'm saying like

00:13:45.060 like so would you rather want you know an owner operator the ceo whatever you whatever position

00:13:50.860 you're in would you rather you know want to have them pull up in a in a in a beater and then come

00:13:55.560 tell you about you know all the goals and aspirations and shit we're going to accomplish

00:13:58.840 even the drive in a fucking that doesn't work no that's not even gonna work like bro your people

00:14:04.000 are not going to aspire to be better to grow a career to become successful if you're rolling up in a

00:14:10.920 rusty piece of shit the only people that really respect that are people who are so close-minded

00:14:16.160 that they think like well you know uh that that's that he's being humble like bro fuck humility okay

00:14:24.700 humility is a very overblown concept that affects people in a very negative way because it makes them

00:14:32.060 afraid to be successful and live the life that they actually want to live because this fake definition

00:14:37.860 of humility that exists on the internet means you can't win you can't drive cool shit you can't live

00:14:42.920 in a cool house you can't build the life you want otherwise you're not humble well guess what if that's

00:14:48.080 what you think then i'm the least humble motherfucker on the earth but i must be somewhat

00:14:52.060 humble because really when we think about humility it's about the ability to know that you aren't

00:14:57.520 better than your competition and you're surely not better than that person you've just done different

00:15:01.680 things through your life which have produced a different result and if that person over there

00:15:06.040 did the same things that you have done like i have done for 25 years they would be successful

00:15:11.520 too so it's it's humility is really saying it's not me it's the work i did and if that person did the

00:15:17.160 work too they would be where i'm at and by the way they're capable of that i'm not better than them

00:15:21.920 they're not better than me i've just taken different actions that's the that's what real humility is

00:15:27.580 about and to be successful on a high level you have to have humility because humility is how you

00:15:34.780 learn if you think you know everything because you're not humble where do you have space to learn

00:15:39.700 new things and if you're going to be successful over the course of time you have to continually get

00:15:44.340 better so if you really want to be honest about it to be successful at the highest level you have to

00:15:49.980 have a tremendous amount of humility because the truth of the matter is to be humble you have to be

00:15:56.020 great you cannot be humble if you are not great it is an excuse for your lack of effort and

00:16:01.080 greatness all right so if you go around town you say oh i'm just humble but you haven't accomplished

00:16:06.720 anything you don't have any skills and you're not really good at anything you're not humble

00:16:10.280 you just suck i love it it's the truth i love it so so let's get real here yeah being successful

00:16:18.080 creates a tremendous amount of inspiration winning creates a tremendous amount of inspiration

00:16:23.300 young people younger than you need to see that shit so that one day they can say damn dude i can do

00:16:29.480 that too and that's the value of doing that so you don't have to rub it in anybody's face

00:16:33.900 but i surely wouldn't hide it that's my experience drive that shit baby yeah i love it guys andy

00:16:40.000 question number two uh hey andy i appreciate all the knowledge you drop on us uh on a daily basis

00:16:46.120 uh when you receive advice that conflicts with what you've experienced how do you differentiate

00:16:53.280 between your ego rejecting it um and your competence guiding your response i try to stay

00:16:59.900 mindful when receiving advice but if it's an area i'm knowledgeable in i tend to stand firm

00:17:04.680 do you have a mental process to definitively determine whether it's your competence or ego

00:17:10.500 at play i appreciate all you do yeah for sure look man the the most important thing to recognize

00:17:17.420 is that everybody has advice like when you were having your babies did everybody have something

00:17:24.400 to say about it everybody right everybody's telling you what to do even if their kids suck

00:17:29.600 right so this is the same thing in life everybody has an opinion about how i do things everybody has

00:17:38.440 an opinion about how i run my business everybody has an opinion about how we live our lives why don't

00:17:44.420 you have kids blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bro i don't i don't listen to other people's

00:17:49.900 opinion they can fucking mouth off and say whatever they want but the truth of the matter is i only take

00:17:55.500 advice from people that i recognize are further down the road than me or are in a different area of

00:18:01.460 expertise that are offering some advice that i may not understand their competency so we have to qualify

00:18:08.240 who is giving us advice that we would even consider to take and that that amount of advice is very small

00:18:17.900 okay so you need to eliminate all the chatter you need to eliminate all the monday morning quarterbacking

00:18:24.140 you need to look at people's results of what they are producing before you even consider their advice

00:18:29.200 so for example if someone came to me like phil knight from nike and he said hey man you're doing

00:18:38.160 good but you should do this and this and this i am absolutely going to consider what he's saying

00:18:43.960 because he has built an iconic brand globally globally which is what i'm trying to do right so i'm

00:18:50.560 going to listen to that right now if a young person comes to me and they say hey man there's this

00:18:55.900 technology that you're not using that's brand new and it could do this and this and this for you

00:19:00.600 well i don't know much about that so i'm going to listen to that and i'm going to consider that

00:19:04.660 but if someone doesn't have a track record or they don't have the life or the business or the you know

00:19:13.520 family or any of the shit that i want i just let that shit roll off my back dude and i let them you

00:19:19.880 know say what they want to say and if they push on me um i just i'll say something smart ass

00:19:25.780 to get them to shut up you know what i'm saying yeah like i'll say you know it is what it is like

00:19:30.020 i'll say that's you know that's a that's a pretty good thing for somebody who's never done shit

00:19:34.700 right you know what i mean i know i know you think it sounds good but i hear what you're saying but

00:19:39.300 my bank account says otherwise yeah where's your proof right and i guess that's what i'm talking

00:19:43.420 about here is we have to be able to pre-qualify who we take advice from and just because you are

00:19:49.060 competent and this goes back into the question that we just answered just because you're competent

00:19:53.540 in something doesn't mean that someone doesn't have more experience or more competency there are

00:19:59.160 a lot of entrepreneurs who are 75 years old who are double my age who are much more experienced and

00:20:08.440 have much better understanding of what i'm trying to do i've never run a company this size before i'm

00:20:14.740 still figuring it out just like you guys are figuring it out at the beginning levels but i've gone from

00:20:19.960 there to here so i can speak very very very confidently on anything behind what i've done

00:20:26.720 right right but when i'm moving forward i have to look at people who have done more done better

00:20:31.100 built the things that i admire and take that advice to heart and if someone you know outside of that realm

00:20:37.240 tells me shit i'm i don't care you know what i mean so it's just about qualifying you know who's

00:20:43.420 giving us who's giving the advice what have they done what have they built and then being humble

00:20:49.060 enough to consider and realize that these people might know better and then you know and then in

00:20:53.840 other areas that you may not know right being able to say well i don't know anything about that let's

00:20:58.240 listen to what this guy has to say you see what i'm saying and i had to get two or three opinions

00:21:02.040 yeah for sure you should yeah let me ask you this then so i mean like let's say phil knight does come

00:21:06.840 to you right and something that you have been doing really well that has been like the results are

00:21:10.540 there that it's working and he comes in like hey andy that how you're doing it here that's actually

00:21:14.840 pretty wrong if you're trying to move this way yeah how you handle that i i would i would ask

00:21:19.740 him why you know it's working no but but see here there's a saying in business what got you here

00:21:25.540 won't get you there okay so i have to be aware of that just because i've gotten this far doesn't

00:21:32.080 mean that what i've done to get this far is going to get me to where i'm trying to go

00:21:35.260 so that that is an understanding that you will have if you've been in business for 25 years

00:21:39.820 yeah so you know i would i would shut my mouth and i'd say okay well why and he'd say because

00:21:45.900 of this this this this this and i'd say oh shit and everything about that that makes sense right

00:21:50.420 and then i start to make some adjustments so it's all about um you know knowing who to listen to

00:21:56.860 knowing when to listen being humble enough to accept the advice from the people that are qualified

00:22:03.300 to give you the advice and then ignoring the rest of the stuff because like i said everybody's a

00:22:09.580 monday morning quarterback everybody knows how to run a you know a billion dollar brand right just

00:22:14.740 fucking ask them everybody knows how to coach a football team everybody knows how to be a uh

00:22:20.400 a quarterback everybody knows how to raise a kid just ask them you see what i'm saying but but dude

00:22:26.860 what's funny is is like all these people give all their advice on success and none of them are

00:22:31.480 successful so when you look at someone and this is very important for you young people to really

00:22:38.080 wrap your brain around if your parents aren't successful you shouldn't listen to them about

00:22:43.220 success that's the facts okay if if your uncle has never done shit and he's a drunk and all he does

00:22:49.220 is fuck his life away you shouldn't listen to him okay i've had people my whole life that have been

00:22:55.640 around me that probably care about me all right but they've told me back in the early days i was

00:23:02.680 wasting my time when you're gonna get a real job when when you're gonna grow up and stop playing

00:23:07.880 little vitamin shop and all this shit and and now i look at him and i'm like none of you fuckers knew

00:23:13.180 what you were talking about you're just chirping in my ear you had done shit and we have to go through

00:23:17.680 this phase of like becoming an adult where we sort of realize that all of our heroes are kind of full

00:23:22.720 of shit you know what i'm talking about like yeah santa's not real that's right yeah and some of the

00:23:28.420 people that you thought were really good people and you love them are pretty bad at life they're

00:23:32.540 pretty piece of shit that's real man so like dude it's just part of growing up man and uh you young

00:23:38.620 guys you you need to listen to people who have built things not people who just love you because

00:23:43.540 those people will what happens is is you know like take parents parents are usually the biggest

00:23:50.160 offenders of this biggest culprits for sure and i don't think they intentionally do it

00:23:54.180 but it takes a lot of humility for a dad to want his son to go out and do something different than

00:24:02.480 he's done if he feels like he's earned a decent place in life right let's say this guy is uh you

00:24:10.180 know a laborer or a plumber or whatever right and he's become a successful plumber but your idea is to

00:24:16.820 go start a business and do all this stuff his framework of what success is is going to be his lived

00:24:22.980 experience so when you say you want to do something outside of that they're going to naturally have

00:24:28.400 resistance to that oh that's going to be really hard which he's right oh that's you know that's

00:24:32.660 not success like that isn't for people like us we need to go over here and do this right it's all

00:24:37.540 kinds of limiting comments but the reality is that's not because they're trying to sabotage you it's

00:24:42.740 because that's all they know and you have to be aware enough to understand that when people say

00:24:47.120 those things it doesn't mean you have to be mad at them it doesn't mean you have to resent them

00:24:50.400 doesn't mean you don't have to love them but it does mean you shouldn't listen to them when it

00:24:54.420 comes to like what you're trying to do yeah i love it man let's tie an ego a little bit more on this

00:24:59.160 because like a question is you know in your experience in your 25 years how many people

00:25:05.100 uh how many entrepreneurs have you seen completely lose everything because they did not listen to the

00:25:11.820 advice of people who were further down the road

00:25:13.660 i mean bro i've known quite a few yeah yeah i mean i've given a lot of advice to people and then

00:25:21.680 they did the opposite and then they ruined their shit yeah so like is that ego i mean what exactly

00:25:26.960 is that play there what are the yeah i mean yeah bro like i had a guy one time who um i was further

00:25:33.840 down the road he was in a similar line of business to me i said hey don't do this thing it doesn't work

00:25:39.160 it's gonna hurt your company and i shouldn't have even said it because he was a competitor of mine

00:25:43.280 but like i'm a pretty good dude and uh you know i'm not i'm not a liar i'm not a gatekeeper like if

00:25:49.480 someone asked me for advice i'll tell them the truth there's no food at the table that's right yeah

00:25:53.200 for sure and um i believe that too i truly believe that and i remember telling him and i said hey i said

00:26:01.400 don't do that dude and the reason i was telling him not to do is because i had done it like seven years

00:26:05.000 earlier and it almost killed me and his response to me was doesn't matter what you say to me i'm

00:26:11.560 not going to change my mind i'm going to do this and i'm like all right and it fucked this whole

00:26:15.680 company up like real bad for a long time in fact they're still struggling from it so and that was

00:26:21.000 like 2017 when i told him that so yeah it could cause big damage dude if you don't if you're not

00:26:27.740 humble enough to listen yeah yeah that's super yeah fuck man guys andy uh question number three

00:26:34.320 uh hi andy uh first off i want to say i'm a huge fan of your q a shows i've been a long time listener

00:26:41.680 but this is my first time submitting a question um i've been working in the fitness industry for

00:26:47.060 quite some time now and i've gradually worked my way up through various roles uh lately i've been

00:26:53.540 noticing a trend on social media that really frustrates me i've seen a lot of people posting

00:27:00.300 about the fear of being replaced in their roles by newcomers expressing anxiety over the idea that

00:27:07.520 they might become obsolete or overshadowed by the next new and approved person what bothers me even

00:27:13.820 more is that these posts often come with disclaimers like i'm not saying this for validation

00:27:20.140 but it seems clear that the underlying motivation is exactly that seeking reassurance and validations

00:27:25.980 from others in my opinion these individuals are projecting their insecurities and are more focused

00:27:30.880 on getting attention than on actually improving themselves in their craft whatever happened to

00:27:36.500 just putting your head down focusing on your own journey and working hard without feeling the need

00:27:41.020 to broadcast every insecurity it feels like these kind of posts are more about saying hey everyone i'm

00:27:46.580 still here than anything else what are your thoughts on this trend yeah i think that's a common theme

00:27:52.780 amongst people in general not just in in the fitness space um i do agree with you i think people

00:28:00.600 are trying to get validation in almost everything they do i think we grow we have grown into this

00:28:07.440 attention seeking validation seeking victim culture type

00:28:11.940 culture uh amongst social media and i think we see it everywhere i don't think it's just in the

00:28:19.740 fitness industry and i think what's what you're seeing here when people do this is you're seeing

00:28:26.760 people who have refused to stay on top of their game and become the best at what they do make excuses

00:28:35.020 in public for why they're not winning all right you are not deserving of winning you nobody owes you

00:28:41.920 their business nobody you know nobody owes you i mean that's just the simplest way to say it and a lot of

00:28:49.920 people think because they start a training program or they start some sort of online you know coaching

00:28:58.360 thing that they are owed people's business especially the people that know them and uh you know let's say

00:29:05.340 they're not at the top of their game they they don't have the experience they they don't have

00:29:09.700 thousands of testimonials they're not keeping themselves in great shape they're not practicing

00:29:14.720 what they preach they're mediocre at best and these people have trouble getting business so

00:29:20.380 young people come along who are running as hard as they can they are representing fitness the proper

00:29:28.380 way and this goes for any category not just fitness they are keeping themselves at the top of you know

00:29:35.500 everything that they need to do their skill set their mindset their physicality uh their education

00:29:40.720 and and these older people getting beat by them and that's not that's not you know uh

00:29:47.400 that's not anything other than natural order bro and it doesn't matter if you're old or if you're young

00:29:54.260 the best people are gonna win and people know consumers know who the best people are so if you're not

00:30:00.920 getting business it's because you probably have a big hole in your game or multiple holes in your game

00:30:05.500 you're not living to the standard that other people want to purchase from you to learn buy

00:30:09.800 right we see this in we see this in business coaching a lot we see all these people who don't

00:30:15.740 have a real business they don't have a real company they haven't ever built anything you know they're

00:30:21.480 they're out here trying to coach people on how to do life right that's the new thing it's not even

00:30:27.340 just business it's life coaching yeah how the fuck are you gonna life coach someone when you don't

00:30:32.040 even have a fucking winning life like if you want to be an entrepreneur coach you should be

00:30:37.060 and will be a successful entrepreneur a business will come to you right like if i fucking started

00:30:42.500 doing entrepreneurship coaching and said hey dm me i'd have fucking 50 000 motherfucking dms you know

00:30:49.000 why because i built a bunch of shit not just first form but a whole bunch of other shit and everybody

00:30:53.620 knows it so you know you have to have the proof to do it and if you're going to be a life coach or a

00:31:00.200 fitness coach or a business coach you have to have the edifying end result that's going to prove it

00:31:05.140 and a lot of people just don't and so that's what we end up getting we end up getting excuses that are

00:31:10.040 projected out into these poor me captions or poor me posts uh and dude it's it's irrelevant it makes

00:31:17.060 them look stupid and just like you said you know everybody sees it for what it is um yeah man i mean

00:31:24.160 it's i i don't really i don't really understand how people think they can coach people on things

00:31:30.260 that they haven't done successfully and it seems to be an epidemic across many different industries

00:31:35.640 on the internet you know everybody's a coach of something and not many of these people actually

00:31:40.360 have done the things that they're coaching on have played and won that fucking game yeah that's weird

00:31:44.360 dude i don't even understand like as a consumer like how you would buy that stuff you know i see

00:31:52.180 people say oh this guy did this to me or this guy didn't provide this well dude you didn't even like

00:31:58.840 look at the motherfucker to see if they were actually credible like you just bought their shit and

00:32:05.460 you know they don't have the result that you're looking for and and now you're in a position where

00:32:10.980 you didn't get anything of it you know and this comes on the this comes from the consumer's mentality

00:32:17.440 of you know quick easy fast pain-free rub-free um success which doesn't exist you know it's just

00:32:25.920 it's hard to sell the other kind of success which is what i talk about which is years lots of skills

00:32:32.200 lots of hard times lots of getting kicked in the dick like how do you sell that you know hey guess

00:32:38.660 what guys i got this amazing program i'm gonna teach you how to be successful by the way it's gonna be

00:32:43.420 the hardest thing you ever did you're gonna get kicked in the balls every single day it's gonna

00:32:46.340 fucking suck for 10 years uh you're not gonna make any money for a long time but if you keep going

00:32:51.140 you'll eventually get there how do you sell that versus hey uh 12 months ago i was in my mom's

00:32:56.160 basement now i'm worth 100 million dollars now my mom's in my basement right all these fucking lies

00:33:01.100 so yeah you know there's a reality and then there's there's there's the internet yeah and they're

00:33:07.260 not aligned let's talk about a little bit because you know you mentioned like i mean even the last

00:33:12.640 question you mentioned this this this this point of like you know how you got here isn't how you're

00:33:17.940 gonna get there and i feel like that translates to this question a little bit too it's like

00:33:21.080 i'm i keep picturing this like you know the king of the jungle and these young cubs that are coming up

00:33:25.940 and it's like you know at the end of the day if that old the the king of the jungle stops you know

00:33:30.320 doing his shit and leading the hunts like those cubs get old they're gonna start taking you over yeah

00:33:34.860 but see dude here's the thing this is what this is what if you're a real entrepreneur

00:33:39.040 this is what this is what you understand i get you get better as an entrepreneur as you get older

00:33:44.660 you don't get worse in football you come out of college you kind of suck you get to be in your

00:33:50.180 mid-20s you learn the game you get really good you're good for 10 years then you start getting

00:33:54.320 bad because your body starts breaking down yeah in entrepreneurship it's the only game that you can

00:33:58.920 really play from the time you're 18 till the time you're 80 where you continue to get better and

00:34:03.360 better and better and better and better if you keep going and going and going and going and going

00:34:08.000 and the problem is a lot of these guys who are you know they get to be 40 or they get to be 50

00:34:13.080 they stop doing the things that are going to make them sharp they stop learning they stop working

00:34:18.360 they give up on their fitness they give up on their mental state and because they stop other people

00:34:24.220 pass them and then they get pissed off and it's like bro you you thought you were at the finish line

00:34:29.320 the finish line is 40 years down the road right you know what i'm saying so uh you know you got to play

00:34:34.580 the game hard every day and it still comes down to the concept that's very simple of winning the day

00:34:38.960 if you win every single day no matter how old you are you're just going to accumulate accumulate

00:34:43.360 accumulate accumulate skills which makes it harder and harder and harder and harder for the young guy

00:34:47.840 to catch you because the young guy and what they do is they get a little bit of skill a little bit of

00:34:53.520 success and then they left their foot off the gas because it's the first time they ever had any money

00:34:58.100 you take a guy who's made a whole bunch of money who's had 20 years in the game who shows up

00:35:03.540 every day and whoops ass that guy's not getting beat you're not beating him you might as well just

00:35:07.540 be friends with him because so he could teach you shit right because you're not going to beat someone

00:35:11.240 like that like bro someone fucking 20 years younger than me out of i mean there might be guys that hit

00:35:16.660 a home run like mark zuckerberg okay but if you're in the same space and you're going after me and i'm

00:35:22.660 fucking 25 years ahead of you bro don't don't even make me your enemy you know what i'm saying

00:35:27.960 because i step on your fucking face that's real yeah that's real that's real man guys i love it

00:35:34.740 man andy guys that was three yeah i think i think it's important too to this last question to remember

00:35:41.380 that you know victim culture and i know this isn't a victim culture question but victim culture has

00:35:48.800 become so relevant and prevalent on the internet because it gets the most attention and what happens

00:35:55.640 is and it feeds into what we're talking about here is that people make a vulnerable post or they make

00:36:02.480 a post talking about how they're struggling and then that post ends up getting the most traffic of

00:36:07.900 any post that they're right so what they do is they start to use victimhood or storytelling in a negative

00:36:14.620 way or sympathy storytelling to become part of their brand because they realize that it increases

00:36:21.000 engagement and then what happens is over the course of time you know they post that first one oh you

00:36:26.420 know i'm really struggling and blah blah blah here's my disclaimer though i'm not yeah right right then

00:36:31.200 they do it again tomorrow then they do it again next week then they do it again and they do that for a

00:36:35.720 year now all of a sudden that's their whole identity right and eventually people tune the fuck out they

00:36:41.480 don't give a shit by the way just so you know people don't care okay they might make a post on your

00:36:47.920 post and they might say oh man you'll get through it or stay strong or this or that don't give a

00:36:51.580 fuck how many of those people showing up at your house when you say you're struggling none of them

00:36:55.720 none of them how many of those people showing up to help you move none of them the sooner you start

00:37:01.940 to realize that nobody gives a fuck about you the the freer you are to go forward and not feel bad

00:37:07.520 about why nobody gives a fuck they don't give a fuck they're worried about themselves okay that's the

00:37:12.160 reality and when we make these posts over and over and over and over again about how hard

00:37:17.800 things are what do you think happens in our real life everything gets hard okay because we've

00:37:23.360 created this identity of being a victim it's a self uh fulfilling prophecy that is created because

00:37:31.000 we've chosen the identity of we are going through a tough time we are doing it and all started because

00:37:37.480 you wanted attention and then a year later you can't even break out of it and you've got anxiety

00:37:41.660 and depression and mental health issues and you got every fucking problem in the book that you

00:37:46.040 really invented on yourself because you chose a fucking identity of being a victim and so it's

00:37:51.000 very very dangerous to do that and i want you to realize that like when people do stuff like this

00:37:56.160 it's i bet if you go read their other posts they're probably all poor me posts as well and dude just like

00:38:02.580 in real life and every single one of you guys have been here every single one of you whether you want

00:38:08.380 to admit it or whether you don't some of you may not want to admit it because you're a morally

00:38:13.300 better person than everybody and you're on your high horse but the reality is what happens when

00:38:17.740 there's four of you and one person is just complaining for an hour fucking straight every

00:38:21.680 time you're around all these four people eventually when that person walks away what are the other

00:38:25.500 three people say holy fuck i'm so glad they're going bro fuck dude stop calling that guy that guy

00:38:31.380 sucks yeah okay that's what they say online about you too yeah you just don't see it okay so when you

00:38:37.140 start complaining realize like bro people don't like that and they're not going to be attracted to that it's

00:38:41.680 not going to serve you and while it might give you some likes and some attention on the internet

00:38:46.700 it's going to ruin your life okay and what you're seeing here is you're seeing people who have created

00:38:52.360 these vulnerable victim culture identities who now instead of going out and becoming the best at what

00:38:59.800 they do they feel entitled like they're supposed to have attention like people should feel sorry for

00:39:04.840 them and buy their shit and that's just not how it works bro the best people win the best product

00:39:10.900 wins the best service wins the most convenient wins and none of the other shit matters like people

00:39:17.540 may say it does but it doesn't all right what really matters is is how are you solving the customer's

00:39:23.440 problem are you the best at solving the customer's problem it really doesn't have anything to do with

00:39:28.620 like or dislike or someone replacing you if someone's replacing you it's because you're not fucking good

00:39:33.780 enough man that's the reality this show is called real af it's not called bullshit okay you may have been

00:39:39.720 good yeah you may have been good five years ago but you're not good now okay you're the result of

00:39:46.080 your last 1000 days what'd you do for the last 1000 days oh you were good 1000 days ago and so you

00:39:52.440 thought you had it made so you let off the gas you stop doing the things that got you there you stop

00:39:56.780 reading you stop eating right you stop training you stop educating yourself you stop associating with

00:40:01.600 the right people you stop trying to purposefully network you stop trying and then the success went away

00:40:07.440 and that's just how it works it's not it's not magical it's not personal it's just reality if you

00:40:12.760 don't stay sharp and you get dull eventually someone's gonna pick up another knife that's how

00:40:17.640 it works man i love it man and i love it man guys andy that was three yep all right guys let's go have

00:40:24.120 a good week we'll see you on cti tomorrow went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze

00:40:29.640 fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold

00:40:37.100 doesn't know headshot case closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 26, 2024

767. Q&AF： Your First Luxury Sports Car, Competence Vs. Ego & Being Replaced

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