REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 779. Q&AF： Measuring Your Worth, Mentoring Your Mentors & Peer To Peer Leadership

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.120 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:26.700 have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers typically we like to

00:00:32.980 start our weeks off with q and af so that everybody can get better uh before we get into that i'd like

00:00:37.980 you to know that we are starting the mfceo project again if you're unfamiliar with the mfceo project

00:00:44.560 it was my original podcast it was the number one business podcast in the world for a very long time

00:00:49.860 and we are starting that back up if you were interested in that which will be all personal

00:00:54.440 development all how to win all how to make money the psychology of winning how to operate

00:01:00.420 everything to have to do with business that none of these other motherfuckers can teach you

00:01:05.800 because they haven't done what i've done if you're interested in learning that uh you're going to need

00:01:10.780 to go on my website andypriscilla.com subscribe to the andygram which is my daily email and you will

00:01:17.960 be notified when we launch the mfceo project now q and af is how we like to start the week we're going

00:01:25.020 to do less and less of that and more and more of that over on mfceo but if you want your questions

00:01:30.620 submit uh answer on the show you could submit them a couple different ways the first way is guys you can

00:01:36.380 email these questions into ask andy at andypriscilla.com or you go on youtube in the q and af episodes drop your

00:01:42.680 question in the comment section and we will uh get some from there as well other times throughout

00:01:49.060 the week we're going to have more and more of this the ctis that's where we cruise the internet we put

00:01:56.060 topics of the day up on the screen we speculate on what's true and what's not true we have a good time

00:02:01.300 talking about what's going on and then we talk about how we the people need to solve these problems

00:02:05.260 going on in the world sometimes we're going to have real talk real talk just five to 20 minutes

00:02:09.640 and me giving you some real talk that i think needs to be heard and then we have 75 hard verses

00:02:15.380 75 hard verses is where someone who's completed the 75 hard program comes in the studio talks about how

00:02:22.360 they use 75 hard to completely transform their mental state and as a result their life if you're

00:02:29.440 unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial phase of the live hard program which you can get for free

00:02:35.140 at episode 208 on the audio feed only we weren't on youtube when that came out uh there's also a book

00:02:42.740 called the book on mental toughness and you can get that at andy versella.com it includes the entire

00:02:48.380 live hard program plus 10 chapters on mental toughness plus a bunch of case studies on some

00:02:52.900 very famous people who uh have used mental toughness to become the people that you recognize today

00:02:58.040 now uh and that's on andy versella.com now we do have a fee for the show the fee is very simple

00:03:03.740 it means share the show we don't run ads on the show i don't do that because i don't want to be

00:03:09.520 told what i can and can't say we try to keep it real with you guys regardless if you agree or disagree

00:03:13.900 uh we we're ourselves and that's what it is um so i ask very simply if the show helps you if it makes

00:03:23.660 you think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective it's something that you think needs

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00:03:32.940 dealing with censorship traffic throttling removal of episodes etc etc so we need your help to get

00:03:39.000 the show out there so uh don't be a hoe show the show all right what's up dude what's up man you

00:03:43.720 don't have me thinking uh i'm talking about the mfco coming back it's like return of the mac man

00:03:48.680 return of the mac return of the mac there it goes turn it's a good song you were just making up your

00:03:55.320 own song before the show started how'd that go no that's not no no that was spoken words that's a

00:04:01.360 real song so what's up man what's going on brother nothing yeah man i had a good weekend yeah you

00:04:05.960 did well i'm gonna have a good weekend it's gonna be a good weekend jake's uh jake's getting married

00:04:10.160 today our jake jake jake no shit mm-hmm congrats bro yeah and ho valley yeah what i think that's how

00:04:17.960 you pronounce it ho valley you valley ho valley out there in pacific you don't want to get married

00:04:22.840 in a place called ho valley bro maybe i mean that doesn't sound like the right place to find your

00:04:27.100 wife maybe i don't know you know yeah yeah no that's that's it though man it's gonna be a good

00:04:33.400 weekend yeah anything uh special coming up it's monday you guys are listening to this

00:04:36.740 friday no i just walked in the gym and riley green's in there working out oh shit yeah he

00:04:41.660 invited us to go to uh to his show tonight so i think we're maybe go do that oh sweet yeah

00:04:46.340 well that'd be that'd be sick yeah damn yeah we're talking to him he's like man this is awesome he's

00:04:51.400 like five years ago i was building houses like yeah sweet man that's awesome dude what a very very

00:04:58.100 cool dude yeah well let's make some people better today guys andy question number one

00:05:03.020 um hey andy i work in the automotive industry wrapping cars installing ppf specifically

00:05:10.680 i've recently been asked to manage a massive shop that i was previously let go from due to the shop

00:05:18.520 not being profitable in the past i was just an installer but showed that i have the qualities

00:05:23.640 and passion to turn the shop around my new position will be a general manager position

00:05:29.680 while still also installing my salary right now is around 120 a year i know taking on this new

00:05:36.800 position will be a lot more work and with that comes headaches and responsibilities that i didn't

00:05:42.620 have before the struggle i'm having is coming up with a number or salary to propose to the owner

00:05:48.860 i was wondering if you have any insight on that how do you how do you measure your value or worth

00:05:54.060 in dollars how do you do that well you know there's a right way and then there's the way

00:06:00.620 um that everybody else does it which isn't the right way uh most people just make up a number and say this

00:06:06.000 is what i'm worth um five bajillion dollars yes and that's what they do and they and i'm just giving

00:06:10.780 you the the uh owner's perspective you know people see things on the internet they hear

00:06:17.260 things from people on the internet they talk to their friends their friends all lie about how

00:06:22.540 much money they make they come in they say i need this and they get laughed out of the room okay

00:06:27.700 because there's a reality to what jobs pay because contrary to what people understand

00:06:33.440 is that there is a budget on the back end where it has to make financial sense you know a lot of people

00:06:40.260 think that there's like a money tree in the back of every business that you just go pick dollars off of

00:06:44.420 and hand them out that's not how it works it has to fit in the puzzle of uh you know a responsible

00:06:50.480 financial budget and so uh you know just making up shit based upon what your friends say or what

00:06:57.600 you know that might work for a company that doesn't really know what's going on uh but it won't work with

00:07:04.420 a legitimate company um they're going to want to know there's going to be a budget that is available

00:07:09.340 for the position that you are in and uh then there's going to be incentives for you to grow

00:07:14.400 and you know if you're going to come in and say hey this is what it is that i'm worth you're going

00:07:20.840 to have to show that you've been paid that before what you've done before you're going to have to

00:07:24.900 have it documented you're going to have to show that you did these things that you said you did

00:07:28.740 especially when you're talking about salaries that are in the six figures so um the best thing

00:07:34.400 you could do is you can document all the things that you've done all the things that you've done

00:07:40.540 well uh in fact i would be transparent about the things you did wrong too and how you learn the

00:07:45.580 lesson because to an owner that that shows that hey uh this person's being honest they're telling

00:07:50.960 the truth they're explaining how they learn to do certain things and i appreciate that because

00:07:55.400 that's how i learned how to do everything um there's awareness there yeah for sure and and there's

00:08:00.300 also uh courage there right because it doesn't always you know people don't want to tell you

00:08:05.260 the things that they did wrong they're afraid that if they tell you the things that they did wrong

00:08:08.660 that you're somehow not going to be interested in them and i actually think that whenever they tell

00:08:13.260 you the things that they did wrong and they say this is what i learned from that i think that's a plus

00:08:17.420 not a minus um so when it comes to coming up with a number you know all of these things

00:08:25.040 go into play uh it's also very similar when you go for a raise you know a lot of people think that

00:08:31.880 because they were somewhere for a certain amount of time that they're due a raise yes there's

00:08:37.860 companies that operate like that but they're going to give you a raise of like fucking two percent

00:08:42.220 cost of living adjustment you're not going to change your entire existence the people that are

00:08:47.520 listening to this show are looking to scale up their lives in a meaningful way so when you go get a

00:08:53.100 raise i'm assuming you're going to want more than two percent so how are you going to do that well

00:08:57.700 you're going to make sure one that you're effective at what you do now what are you doing now are you

00:09:03.080 the best at what you do now are you producing the best results of what you do now because a lot of

00:09:07.940 people feel like that what's what happens is is they're going to get someplace and they're going

00:09:12.240 to be there for a long enough time and then eventually the manager or the leader or the boss or whoever

00:09:19.240 is going to come up and say hey i need someone to do this and then all of a sudden you're going to

00:09:23.560 magically turn the switch on because the opportunity's there which is the backwards way of thinking how it

00:09:28.980 really needs to be set up is you're executing at a high level now you're kicking ass now you're doing

00:09:35.660 better than everybody now and you're staying hot meaning you're operating at that level all the time

00:09:41.080 so that when these situations for you to progress come up in conversation in the boss's office

00:09:47.220 you're the automatic person that's mentioned first now how do you ask for the money well you do the

00:09:54.020 same thing you do when you're going for a new job you say this is what i've done here's where i've

00:09:58.580 contributed here's the statistical data that shows what i've done and you have to figure out how you're

00:10:03.660 going to show that and document that that's on you that's not on the company so you you make a list

00:10:08.160 here here here here here this is what i did and by the way these are things that you've done at a high

00:10:13.700 level these are not things that you're automatically paid to do already a lot of people especially

00:10:18.860 younger people will if i said hey make a list of the things that you've done they would put something

00:10:22.940 on there like i've never been late to work well no shit you're not supposed to be right um i work

00:10:28.740 really hard when i'm here no shit you're supposed to those are things that you're already paid to do

00:10:33.920 so you have to be careful not to put down things that are normal expectations of your current role

00:10:40.820 and then pretend like there's some sort of bonus because they're not and if you go into the wrong

00:10:46.180 manager who doesn't give a fuck about you and won't sit you down and explain this to you they're

00:10:50.800 just going to look at you like you're an idiot and they're going to assume you're an idiot forever

00:10:53.580 and they're going to say this guy's going to wash out so the point of this is documenting making a case

00:11:00.660 making it relative to what makes financial sense for the company and where it fits and sometimes it

00:11:06.420 doesn't sometimes you outgrow companies sometimes you you do everything right and there is no upward

00:11:12.520 mobility for you to have and that's where you go to a new company and you start there with that skill

00:11:17.020 set and you have to document what you did at the old company and by the way the old company has to

00:11:22.640 agree that you did these things because the new company is going to call them and say hey did they

00:11:27.000 do these things so you can't lie you can't cheat you can't make it up and a lot of these younger kids

00:11:32.460 now they think they can go from company to company to company to company and just make shit up we see

00:11:36.980 it all the time bro people try to apply here they're like i was making four hundred thousand

00:11:40.820 dollars over there okay well let me see your w2 oh well i can't show you that you see what i'm saying

00:11:45.600 like there's a lot of a lot of these young kids think they're fucking really smart and they don't

00:11:51.280 understand how these things are checked and balanced on the back side so make a list well first

00:11:57.520 of all perform at a high level stay at a high level make a list of what the fuck it is that

00:12:02.400 you've done and then have a negotiation with the party that's what it is and you know like you you

00:12:07.940 say oh you're making 120 for installing wraps on a car if it like really because like if you walked

00:12:14.880 into me and said that that you made that for installing wraps on a car i'd fucking know that

00:12:19.000 was bullshit you know how i know that's bullshit because my wife used to fucking run that company

00:12:23.660 that put wraps on cars so you just sat down and wrote me an email where i know for a fucking fact

00:12:29.680 that you're not getting paid 120 grand to put wraps on cars how do you think do you knew did you know

00:12:35.000 that hold on did you know that i would know that right do you know how i met my wife i met my wife

00:12:40.080 because she wrapped they wrapped my car and i couldn't fucking pay the bill so you didn't know that

00:12:45.880 i know that you see what i'm saying don't fucking lie i promise you you're lying let me ask you this

00:12:52.580 this is another portion of this too man i feel like there's also this weird if i fucking went and

00:12:57.260 checked that person's w2 a hundred percent they're fucking making that up yeah i mean it does sound

00:13:02.820 like a shit ton of money to be right everybody out here lies about what they make dude this is why you

00:13:07.620 can't listen to your friends this is why if you're a social media influencer you ever notice how all the

00:13:12.060 social media influencers are making a million dollars a post it's bullshit yeah and if you walk into a

00:13:18.100 situation asking for that that company who knows right is going to say well fuck this person they're

00:13:25.980 they're delusional they're going to be hard to work with i don't want to deal with that shit

00:13:29.020 and you're not going to get the opportunity doesn't work yeah let me actually because i feel like there's

00:13:33.700 another weird uh i don't know if it's a false expectation um that that happens in the workplace where

00:13:41.920 it's like you know who is the onus on their employee or the employer to initiate those

00:13:48.480 conversations you know about raises and stuff oh well look listen i think it depends i you know

00:13:55.420 there's been plenty of situations over the years where i've seen someone just kicking ass and not

00:14:00.360 say nothing yeah and they don't say anything so then i have to i have to sit them down and say all

00:14:04.920 right look man here's how you do this do you do you want to make more money yeah you do right right

00:14:10.640 okay well do you think i'm going to give you any more money if you don't fucking ask right okay so

00:14:15.060 i sit down and have that conversation because look dude i want my people to move upward in life that's

00:14:20.840 why i still do this that's why i come in here every day i want all these people and that's why when you

00:14:25.380 support our companies you got to know you're supporting good shit because i don't need to be in

00:14:29.640 here i don't need to do this shit no more i've already paid my fucking dues i'm financially where i need

00:14:33.320 to be everything for me is good i want these people to progress and when people come in

00:14:38.700 and they kick ass and they do good sometimes they're afraid to have conversations about money

00:14:43.780 because their parents or or their teachers or their aunts or their uncles they always taught

00:14:51.560 them these these things don't talk about politics don't talk about religion and don't talk about

00:14:56.220 money and if you don't learn to talk about money in an effective way you're not going to make very

00:15:00.900 much of it so you have to get comfortable having conversations with people about money

00:15:06.620 or they're going to keep it from you forever um so what i'll do as an owner or a manager whatever

00:15:12.880 i don't do this anymore because i'm not involved in day-to-day like that but um i would sit down

00:15:19.760 with someone and i would say hey what are you how you doing you're doing a good job man i see you i see

00:15:23.840 you busting your ass what are you trying to do where are you trying to go well you know i'd really

00:15:28.500 like to do what are you doing to get there what do you think about your pay well i'd like to earn

00:15:33.560 more money well you're doing a good job you're doing great are you doing the best that you did

00:15:37.960 were you going to ask right right you see what i'm saying right um so there's situations like that

00:15:43.180 where people don't want to ask and then there's situations uh where people will say they'll say

00:15:48.120 hey you know um here's what i did you know and here's what i've done i've done this and this and

00:15:54.060 this and that's a conversation um and then there's a third people who always think they deserve a raise no

00:15:59.700 matter what you know two months yeah bro they don't and and those people just don't stick

00:16:05.120 anywhere you know those are the people that went from here to here to here and then you say why'd

00:16:09.060 you leave wasn't enough money well you don't get enough money at an entry-level position bro that's

00:16:13.140 why it's called entry-level you know what i mean real shit man yeah i love it uh guys any question

00:16:18.420 number two uh hi andy first i want to say thank you to you uh dj the whole real af crew my question

00:16:26.800 is how do i lead discipline and mentor those that were once my mentors uh to give a bit of

00:16:36.900 background i work for a public agency maintaining public infrastructure and utilities this type of

00:16:41.920 work comes with a lot of institutional knowledge that gets handed down over the years i started in

00:16:47.120 this industry when i was 17 years old now it has been my career for the last 16 years i started at the

00:16:52.840 bottom as a temporary laborer and have worked my way into a leadership position where a good amount

00:16:58.040 of my employees were once my mentors these guys not only taught me everything i know in the industry

00:17:03.980 but have helped lift me up to the position i'm in now these guys have been to my wedding that my family

00:17:09.660 my kids and i consider them uh some of them like brothers i take a lot of pride in our team and the

00:17:14.680 culture we have built and as time goes on through and generations collide i'm beginning to see conflict

00:17:20.220 between the new up and comers and the old dogs i came up with some of these situations require a

00:17:26.320 shift in my leadership style while others have required some discipline on both sides i always

00:17:31.440 find it harder to discipline the people that were once my peers uh than the guys who have only known me

00:17:37.800 in my current role i also find it harder to get these same peers to follow along when i make the change

00:17:43.380 in the direction that the group is heading any advice would be appreciated god bless america

00:17:48.320 all right look uh yeah that's a difficult situation you know when i started my business i was 19 years

00:17:55.100 old um for that first 10 12 years i was employing people that were older than me and people for some

00:18:02.880 reason when they're older than you much less when they actually taught you what you know are resistant

00:18:08.440 to younger people running uh or leading the situation unless the person leading is so much better

00:18:16.460 and so great at what they do that it is undeniable okay so if you are so great at what you do

00:18:24.160 and you are so skilled at what you do and you are that much better than everybody else at what you do

00:18:30.900 leading usually isn't a problem even if the people are older so the first piece of advice that i would

00:18:37.360 give you is to distance yourself from them in your skill set as far as possible meaning be so much

00:18:45.220 better than them that they understand they have to listen to you when you say shit okay that's the

00:18:50.200 first thing the second thing is to understand that most human beings understand the dynamic of a

00:18:58.520 workplace and because this is your first time really leading people like this you have personal

00:19:04.400 hang-ups that aren't necessarily real hang-ups out in the real world it's your own internal uh i don't

00:19:11.040 want to say insecurities but we'll just say hang-ups you think that because these people

00:19:16.920 helped you that you are incapable of leading them because they're just going to like laugh you off

00:19:22.880 well that's your own hesitation that's in your own mind can't do this joe might say this exactly

00:19:28.440 because every person that is there in that environment understand that there's a chain of command

00:19:35.440 and that things have to be followed in a certain order they understand that somebody's got to call

00:19:40.160 to play and then the play has to be run every single employee that is employed across the country

00:19:45.420 in every single fucking job has a basic understanding of this flow down system of here's the play to run

00:19:52.700 i gotta run the play here's how we make the fries i gotta make the fries that way you see what i'm saying

00:19:58.820 everybody understands that so to be hung up on that in your own mind just because you're younger than

00:20:05.300 everybody is an irrational hang-up all right they all understand you're the leader you're going to

00:20:11.700 call the plays now getting them to run the play that's going to come down to the first point that

00:20:17.020 i said the better you are than them at what they do in terms of like understanding how to do their job

00:20:24.380 what's going on how skill set you are and by the way the better track record you get at leading them

00:20:30.020 down the pipe into the right position where the team wins the more confidence that they're going

00:20:35.520 to gain in your ability to lead which means you're going to have less resistance when it comes to

00:20:40.620 calling the play that they need to run so a lot of this has to do with you earning their respect

00:20:47.360 with you being great at what you do with you not being an apathetic or lazy leader and i think the age

00:20:53.620 thing is a very irrational hang-up that a lot of young people have that can be cured by very simply

00:21:00.580 just being very good at what you do not flexing leadership where it doesn't need to be flexed

00:21:06.020 you know you said you went these guys are in your weddings and shit like that look bro i got guys that

00:21:11.000 work for me that were in my wedding when we're here at the office they're they understand when i'm at

00:21:17.820 their house drinking beer i'm not telling them to get me a fucking beer you know i'm saying like

00:21:22.300 i'm getting the fuck up and i'm saying hey can i do anything can i get you something you know and so

00:21:27.080 we we balance out our roles at different areas when they're appropriate and the saying of you know

00:21:33.800 you can't be friends with people that you manage or people you work with yeah if you're a weak leader

00:21:38.520 if you're a great leader and you're a servant leader you're all going to love each other not all

00:21:42.560 the time but most of the time because you're going to understand that your intent is to get the team to

00:21:49.140 win and that's another thing that you have to earn the respect of because a lot of leaders

00:21:53.500 you have to remember that a lot of these people that you're trying to lead have worked for shitty

00:21:57.200 leaders before who are selfish who want their own uh name in the headlines and they're really all about

00:22:03.360 themselves and they've never worked for a leader that actually cares about their their progress or

00:22:09.380 or the team win and when you when they know that you care about those things more than you care about

00:22:14.180 like just getting the credit or whatever they're gonna fight for you dude they're gonna go to war

00:22:19.300 for you and um when they know that you put their interest in front of your interest they're gonna

00:22:24.220 go to war for you when they know that you are going to put the team's win in front of your own

00:22:28.680 personal win they're gonna go to war for you the problem is is that most leaders and managers don't

00:22:32.740 have the discipline to do that they want all the credit they want all the money they want all the

00:22:36.640 fucking claps and cheers and all this shit when none of that's relevant bro when you're a leader

00:22:42.240 your job is to take responsibility when things go wrong and give credit when things go right and

00:22:48.040 if you can understand that that will take you most of the way the rest of the way will be gained by

00:22:52.960 you being great at what you do and respecting people and having the right intent for them and if you

00:22:58.080 can put all those things together you'll be an effective leader i don't think the age thing

00:23:01.840 is even an issue i think that's a bullshit issue there's all kinds of examples of this

00:23:06.680 in all kinds do you think patrick mahomes is a shitty leader

00:23:09.620 he's the youngest fucking guy on the fucking team you know why people listen to him because

00:23:15.480 he's fucking great at what he does and he respects the rest of the team he wants everybody to win

00:23:19.400 and he wants to win and everybody wins because he wants to win for the team right like these are

00:23:25.560 these are the leaders bro and and patrick is the one of the youngest guys on the team still

00:23:30.240 so you understand what i'm saying it doesn't matter about age bro it matters about all these other

00:23:35.200 things we're talking about let me ask you this though you know because i do i do i do agree with

00:23:40.680 you i feel like there definitely is like that preconceived notion that it's going to be this

00:23:44.280 this thing this if but i do want to ask you this on this culture aspect because he is bringing in

00:23:49.540 there's new people coming in they only know him as the leader right what if a if a situation does

00:23:56.140 arise where one of your old guys you know there's a challenge publicly in front of the new people like

00:24:01.460 how do you handle that conflict you know like because i could definitely see that being a

00:24:05.840 potential thing you know where you're getting a little pushback from the one of the old schools

00:24:09.420 in front of one of the new schools like that could be a toxic okay well in that first of all if you

00:24:14.460 have led your team the right way and you've built rapport the right way your older guys are going to

00:24:20.180 know not to do that in public but it's okay to do it in private okay i don't care what someone says to

00:24:27.440 me like i've had employees tell me i'm the biggest piece of shit and we can argue straight up fucking

00:24:32.120 fuck you arguments in the office and then we calm it down and we go out there and we act like

00:24:37.460 everything's normal and we get back to fucking doing our thing i don't give a fuck what people

00:24:41.160 say to me if they want to vent to me they want to fucking whatever but if you do it in front of

00:24:45.420 people we're gonna have a fucking problem and you as the leader have to respect that about them too

00:24:50.640 you don't go embarrass them in front of everybody else they won't embarrass you in front of anybody else

00:24:55.060 and if they do embarrass you in front of the young people that's where you you don't react

00:24:59.920 you pull them in the office you say hey look dude we've been working together for a long time

00:25:04.000 all right steve over here is brand new you just create a scenario that we're gonna have to fix with

00:25:10.700 him because he just saw this and this and this because of your lack of discipline now you know

00:25:15.320 from working with me i don't give a fuck what you say to me dude you bring me in the office you

00:25:19.800 fucking tell me i'm whatever we'll work it out but if you do that in front of that guy

00:25:24.300 not only are you hurting my ability to lead but you're hurting your own ability to grow the company

00:25:29.240 which is going to hurt your career long term because now we have a guy who's not bought in

00:25:33.560 the way that he should be bought in because you just did that in public because you lack your

00:25:36.580 discipline to control your emotions so there's a lesson there right so then we fix that lesson

00:25:41.860 and we move forward so yeah bro but those things do happen but you know they happen um i would say 90

00:25:49.680 out of inexperience and lack of discipline to control emotions and 10 out of maliciousness

00:25:56.580 now if it happens out of maliciousness that's cancerous and that's where you have to make

00:26:00.760 changes you can't allow that shit to happen yeah i love it does that make sense that makes perfect

00:26:04.660 sense yeah and if steve ever tries to shut the fuck up steve well you know and then and then dude if

00:26:10.300 you've trained if you've if you've built the proper rapport with your team and the proper culture

00:26:14.540 those older guys that have been there a while are gonna like when that young guy culture is

00:26:19.160 self-regulating like that's what people don't understand it is a living breathing thing that

00:26:25.760 your business creates and you create intentionally and this is what we will talk about you know we talk

00:26:31.220 about this in arte and we'll talk about this on msco at some level but you are creating a system of

00:26:38.180 how things are done automatically and when you create the proper culture one of these guys who's

00:26:45.360 a veteran with you they're gonna go to the young guy and say hey don't fucking do that here's why

00:26:50.760 and they're gonna they're gonna correct these scenarios yeah i mean i love it man i love it guys

00:26:56.260 andy let's get to our third and final question uh let's flip this from uh you ever been you ever you

00:27:02.260 ever been uh like when you went to play college football right you know when you first showed up

00:27:07.800 day one the coach didn't stand there and say hey this is the way we're doing all this shit right

00:27:11.840 the practice just started and you fucking were like i don't know what the fuck to do right and

00:27:17.040 other dudes would come over and be like hey motherfucker this is what we do here hey this is

00:27:21.000 what we do here hey you better run hard here hey now we're gonna do gassers you got to do it this way

00:27:25.520 right absolutely now we go to this station now we go to that station now we go eat like you had other

00:27:31.200 guys on the team tell you the coach didn't tell you they the other guys told you that's how the

00:27:35.060 culture works you see what i'm saying yeah 100 100 uh guys and let's get to our third and final

00:27:41.580 question question number three let's flip this a little bit from somebody who is being led uh let's

00:27:47.220 focus on this this is a really good question here uh question number three hey andy i am a 28 year

00:27:52.720 old entrepreneur in a small 30-ish employees uh size company i've been listening to your show for a few

00:27:59.200 years um thanks to dan holloway for introducing me to the show uh since joining this new company a

00:28:04.980 little less than a year ago i've noticed that there are a few who understand the mission and

00:28:10.940 are willing to go the extra mile and then there are those who just punch a clock and really couldn't

00:28:15.820 care less if we excel as a company or not for me i know that what i do every day affects 30

00:28:22.700 individuals families and lifestyles let alone my own my question is as someone who is not in a

00:28:29.720 leadership role how do i get people to help row the boat basically how do i get people to care

00:28:36.020 about the work they are doing i want to win and i need those around me to buy in for us to succeed

00:28:41.340 thank you okay so what you're talking about here is peer-to-peer leadership which is actually probably

00:28:48.780 the purest form of leadership because there's no title associated to it and people don't quote

00:28:54.780 unquote half to listen to you so if someone and this this goes for if you own a company if you have

00:29:00.800 a great peer-to-peer leader that motherfucker is going to be a rock star when you give them the

00:29:05.620 quote-unquote position to lead all right so becoming an effective peer-to-peer leader is one of the most

00:29:12.620 effective and valuable skills that you can create because what you're actually doing is creating

00:29:18.600 another you okay by your leadership ability and and dude there's there's three to four main valuable

00:29:28.700 skills that people get paid big money for one is selling if you sell you're gonna pay the most money

00:29:33.600 the second is managing if you can manage a team you're gonna get paid money the third is initiative

00:29:39.700 if you can creatively come up with a solution see it through to from beginning to end without having

00:29:46.020 to talk to anybody about it that person is going to get paid a lot of money and the fourth person

00:29:50.520 that's going to get paid a lot of money is someone who can replicate themselves in a leadership position

00:29:54.780 so if you're a great leader and you could fucking create someone over here who is also a great leader

00:30:00.520 through your example and you can replicate that that's extremely valuable you can write your own

00:30:05.360 check all right so how do we do that well it's very simple it's actually the simplest form of leading

00:30:11.340 too you've got to be amazing in what you do you've got to operate at a high standard all the time

00:30:16.360 there can be no holes in your game and then you have to fucking call people out when they're not at

00:30:20.780 the at the level that they need to be and that doesn't mean hey fuck you uh you're doing a shitty job

00:30:27.180 sometimes it may mean that but what it actually means is hey man look bro i know i know you're capable

00:30:33.740 of more and by you not doing this you're not just hurting yourself you're hurting me and i've got a family

00:30:39.720 and you're hurting tony over there he's got two new kids okay you're hurting stacy over here she's

00:30:45.600 got a family by you not doing what you can do look what's happening to the rest of the team that's not

00:30:50.480 good man i need you to fucking get with me and let's go fucking win you want to win right so then

00:30:55.780 it's it's more of that kind of conversation on a consistent level um and and i think that's a

00:31:03.880 constant conversation that has to be had in a peer-to-peer environment you know you kind of

00:31:10.540 have to set the pace and you kind of got to call everybody else up to it and uh that comes from

00:31:15.440 your performance it comes from you doing things a certain way and you know if you have a smart

00:31:20.420 leadership team above you they're going to recognize you for what you're doing at that level

00:31:24.300 uh and then other people are going to want to follow so you know there's a whole there's there's

00:31:29.400 books on this there's a book on this called 360 leadership um there's there's a lot of different

00:31:34.480 books on leadership that that teach peer-to-peer leadership but at the end of the day leadership

00:31:38.440 is very simple it's doing what the task is supposed to be done at a high level and then it's getting

00:31:46.400 other people to do it with you and that's it man so how do you do that some people do that by yelling

00:31:51.800 at people i found that to not be the most effective way now sometimes when there's high urgency

00:31:56.800 and things are on the line and let's say you know like back when the company was smaller

00:32:01.320 uh and we were within 30 days of going out of business for fucking 10 years straight

00:32:05.920 yeah sometimes it got fucking hot and it's like hey motherfucker you fucking do this you're

00:32:10.600 fucking out of here right the most effective way to lead no does it get the fucking job done

00:32:17.540 in a pinch yes i would consider that something like we're in a firefight and fucking me and you

00:32:25.120 and i'm like hey fucking go over there and you you're i'm like go over there right now we're

00:32:29.620 gonna get killed right that's what that's a got bullets flying well andy you could i don't know

00:32:33.360 get the fuck over there bro we're gonna get fucking killed right see what i'm saying that's that's how

00:32:38.400 it is when things are more urgent and when you get in a little less urgent of a scenario you know

00:32:45.440 you could soften that a little bit but the boundary still has to be hard and it has to be this is

00:32:50.320 what the expectation is and i think the main thing that leaders do that really discount their own

00:32:56.720 credit credibility with people is that they don't operate on the standard that they try to hold

00:33:01.500 everybody else to and and they think they can fool people they think they can they can people don't

00:33:06.360 see them you know taking the shortcut or taking that play off or you know coming in at fucking you

00:33:12.160 know 11 when everybody else is there at fucking eight right like they don't people see that you can't

00:33:18.200 hide it and when people fucking see all that shit it reduces the amount of credibility that you have

00:33:23.600 with them so when you're a leader you got to understand bro that it's got to be real you have

00:33:28.200 to perform at a high level you have to be effective and you have to teach these other people how to do

00:33:34.380 it leading is more about teaching than it is about fucking like demanding you know what i mean it's more

00:33:39.260 of a show it's it's it's more of an education you know hey i think a lot of leaders get in trouble

00:33:45.780 because they assume that the reason that and by the way when i say a lot of leaders i'm also saying

00:33:50.940 myself i for a long time assumed that the reason that people didn't do things was because they were

00:33:59.400 lazy okay and and really the honest truth is is that it's not most of the time that people are lazy

00:34:06.500 that's just an immature leader i was a very immature leader for a long time what you start to figure out

00:34:12.680 as you get older is everybody wants to do better most people do want to win most people do want to

00:34:16.760 be on a winning team and yeah there's a lot of losers out there but your job is to get away from

00:34:20.700 them into an environment where you want to win and um you know when you when you get around winners

00:34:28.400 laziness isn't the problem lack of skill is the problem so you have to transition your mentality

00:34:34.200 from assuming that everybody's just lazy to they want to win but they don't have the skills to win

00:34:40.820 so then you become a teacher you see what i'm saying i love it man yeah i absolutely love it

00:34:45.480 man guys andy that's a monday man yep let's go out let's kick some ass and uh we'll see you with cti

00:34:50.540 tomorrow yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fucker stole

00:34:57.700 counted millions in the code bad bitch booted slow got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know

00:35:04.400 headshot case close

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 16, 2024

779. Q&AF： Measuring Your Worth, Mentoring Your Mentors & Peer To Peer Leadership

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