REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 816. Q&AF： Weighing Your Options, Gut Vs Guidance & Balancing Money And Stress

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realist say goodbye to the lies the

00:00:21.180 fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:25.500 have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now you could submit

00:00:30.980 your questions a few different ways the first way is guys email these questions and to ask andy at

00:00:37.800 andy for seller.com thank you dj you're welcome andy or you could go on youtube in the comment

00:00:42.920 section and you can ask your questions there and we'll choose some from there as well to be answered

00:00:46.940 right here on the show now if you're new to the show which a lot of you always are we have shows

00:00:54.000 within the show tomorrow we're going to have what's called cti that stands for cruise the internet

00:00:58.580 that's where we put topics of the day up on the screen we speculate on what's true what's not true

00:01:03.680 and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world

00:01:07.900 sometimes we're going to have real talk real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some

00:01:12.020 real talk and then we have what's called 75 hard verses that's where people who have completed the

00:01:18.320 75 hard program come on the show they talk about how their life was before how their life is now

00:01:23.900 and how they use the 75 hard program to win the war with themselves if you're unfamiliar with 75

00:01:30.540 hard it is the initial phase of the live hard program the live hard program is the most popular

00:01:36.320 mental transformation program in history okay and you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio

00:01:42.540 feed again that's 208 on the audio feed only it's not on youtube you can also buy the book the book is

00:01:49.280 not required but it has a lot of extras that the podcast doesn't have and you can get that at

00:01:53.260 andy for cella.com it's called the book on mental toughness and it has the entire live hard program

00:01:59.080 in a much deeper detail it also has 10 chapters on mental toughness why it's important how to cultivate

00:02:04.700 and how to use it in your life along with a bunch of case studies from people that you know who have

00:02:09.640 used mental toughness to become the people that you know okay so andy for cella.com the book on mental

00:02:14.820 toughness now something we do different here on the show you're going to notice we don't run ads

00:02:19.680 the reason we don't run ads is because i don't have to run ads i'm independently successful and

00:02:27.120 i don't want to listen to what people think i should and shouldn't say it's called real af okay so we keep

00:02:32.480 it real here i don't get influenced by people all the opinions you hear are mine and mine alone or dj's

00:02:37.680 and his alone and uh we ask very simply instead of us making money running ads that you just support us

00:02:44.560 okay and that looks a couple different ways one uh you can share the show all right we are constantly

00:02:50.300 dealing with censorship issues so we need your help to grow the show uh if the show makes you think

00:02:54.920 if it makes you laugh if it gives you a new perspective if you get some good information

00:02:58.460 do us a solid and share the show around okay it could be a post could be a recommendation

00:03:03.100 could be a story but every show that brings you value the deal is you got to share it okay and the

00:03:09.080 other thing you could do is you could uh go into your local store and support first form you can

00:03:15.040 get an energy drink you can get a protein bar you get a meat stick keep yourself healthy keep

00:03:19.780 yourself moving all right so and if your store doesn't carry first form energy ask them why they

00:03:23.720 don't all right so i think that's all isn't it yeah yeah so uh don't be a hoe share the show all right

00:03:33.120 what's up man going on man i got a little fancy there i don't know if you noticed

00:03:36.840 no yeah i got a little fancy in the intro i liked it yeah a little extra sauce you're the

00:03:43.340 sauce boss the sauce boss you heard it first here boss of the sauce the boss of the sauce

00:03:49.100 i'll talk about that raise later all right so what's up dude what's going on man dude i think

00:03:56.680 winter is full in effect right now man bro you ain't kidding it is fucking cold dude it went straight

00:04:01.940 from 80 to 30 bro and i ain't ready for it now i'm sure all these like milwaukee people are gonna

00:04:07.900 be like cold you don't know code yeah code is negative a thousand yeah it's not hot there it's

00:04:14.000 hot in brazil yeah you know but it's like fuck man it's cold man all right guys it's cold it's

00:04:21.860 fucking cold why what is it with people with that shit i don't know like they gotta always compete for

00:04:26.760 everything oh bro listen you know it's called tommy topper syndrome tommy topper yeah you we all

00:04:31.620 know people like this we're sitting there telling a story you know hey man my friend uh you know he's

00:04:37.780 he's six foot he's 250 he benches 500 bro it's not shit my friend is 12 foot 500 and he benches a

00:04:46.000 thousand okay there's nobody that big no you don't know he's from my old neighborhood yeah he lives in

00:04:52.560 the basement of my grandma's yeah fuck man nobody's ever seen him you know like they got this fucking

00:04:58.160 story dude it's like very cool bro the worst people to hang out with are tommy toppers dude bro you tell

00:05:04.300 a story and they got a story that goes on top of it like what is that i don't know man but fuck it's

00:05:10.100 annoying it is fucking annoying just know that if you're one of these people we make fun of you if

00:05:15.400 you are tommy the minute you walk away you are getting made fun of yeah and not you're you're

00:05:22.360 not getting invited next time yeah yeah you don't even show up man that last time we had that event

00:05:27.020 man it was yeah fucking yeah man well uh dude it's monday it is monday it's friday oh yeah but it's

00:05:36.680 monday fuck i don't even know what day it is yeah it's one of these days of the week but uh we're here

00:05:41.540 to make people better man so let's uh let's do this uh with question number one all right guys

00:05:47.880 andy uh andy first off thank you for doing this show um and your others i didn't find this until

00:05:57.080 two years ago and now uh and since then i've hit multiple weight goals and other gym goals while

00:06:03.280 continuing to compete for more i'm 26 i've been a commercial industrial electrician in colorado for

00:06:10.500 seven years now i completed a highly recognized apprenticeship got my state license i've been

00:06:17.160 with the same large company throughout my seven years while working for them i've made multiple

00:06:22.980 personal connections and other job opportunities i have been informed one of my former locations i was

00:06:29.460 at wants me to work for them directly and will have the opening in the spring i've pretty much

00:06:35.020 been topped out and pay at the company i'm at unless they move me into a higher position which

00:06:39.760 they have expressed they're prepping me into the role um that when the opportunity comes up quote

00:06:46.040 unquote i'll be next uh is what they say and i'm looking to progress my career and it sounds like what

00:06:51.520 i want however uh the other job opportunity starts with more money and better benefits for myself my

00:06:57.120 wife my one-year-old i guess my question is how should i move forward with seeing both opportunities

00:07:03.300 and not thinking the grass is greener on the other side when it may not be uh when i've built a good

00:07:09.420 reputation with who i'm employed with currently but seeing the immediate benefits of going to the

00:07:14.340 new opportunity i like the people at each job and i know each side has continued options to further

00:07:19.920 my career as well and is the grass always greener on the other side well obviously not the grass is

00:07:27.280 always greener where you water it okay um and when we get into a state of comfort in certain scenarios

00:07:35.160 it can seem like the grass is greener on the other side but usually that's just because we're not

00:07:41.120 appreciation we're not appreciating the position that we're in currently so what i would do in this

00:07:46.480 situation if i were you is i would talk to the new company and i would get to the point where they

00:07:51.500 make you an offer all right and then the offer and the decision is in your court then i would go back

00:07:58.080 to the original company and by the way it's very important that you don't lie and i'm going to

00:08:02.940 explain why in a second okay so go get an offer make sure it's at the point where you can decide yes

00:08:10.740 or no then go to your original company and say hey here's the deal i love you guys i appreciate you

00:08:18.520 guys you guys been very good to me i've learned a lot here but i want more and i want to progress

00:08:25.700 i need to make more money for myself and my family i think i've been a great asset to the company

00:08:30.400 if you disagree tell me but i think we've had a really good relationship here now you've expressed

00:08:36.300 that you want me to move into these other positions but even after that i'm going to want

00:08:40.920 to move into other positions and i'm going to want to continue to move what does that look like

00:08:45.860 for me to escalate through the uh the hierarchy here at this company in a very serious way and

00:08:55.480 then they're going to say well here's what needs to happen and they're going to go through a bunch

00:08:59.880 of things they're probably going to hit on some things that you need to improve okay and then when

00:09:05.980 they say when when they tell you all that you're going to say well when do you think that's going to

00:09:10.780 happen and they're probably going to give you some abstract answer and that's where you then

00:09:15.720 position the leverage that you have and you say look i've been presented with this other opportunity

00:09:20.860 this is what it looks like do not lie because there's a very high likelihood that your current

00:09:27.160 manager leader boss supervisor whatever he is is going to call this other company they know each other

00:09:34.120 they might know each other they might not not know each other but he mentioned that that company

00:09:38.240 that he works for did work for them so they probably know each other but that regardless

00:09:42.220 they know each other or not your current boss is going to call to check and see if you're full of

00:09:47.460 shit okay so make sure that you don't just pull some blue sky shit out of you out of you you know

00:09:53.520 and present it to him because he's going to know you're full of shit and then you're really fucked

00:09:57.340 you're off at 400th area no then then you're fucked because you're not going to get the the position

00:10:02.440 at either place so then i would position you know at that time i would show him the offer i would say

00:10:09.660 this is what i got going on this is what my future looks like here this is what i'm thinking it's not

00:10:15.560 disrespectful to you but you got to understand i'm looking out for my own family and i have a duty and

00:10:20.120 obligation to progress and i want to progress and i'm willing to do whatever i need to to progress

00:10:24.580 i would like to stay here because i've built a great rapport i love you guys

00:10:29.620 how can we make that work and then let them talk all right and there there's a very good

00:10:37.580 chance that they're going to progress you right there because people who run successful businesses

00:10:45.020 understand the investment that you make in employees and they understand what it takes to

00:10:50.480 get an employee from ground zero to effective to a tremendous asset and it sounds like you are an

00:10:57.480 asset so you're if your boss is competent he's going to understand or she's going to understand

00:11:03.660 the amount of time and effort and money they have sunk into you and they're not going to want to

00:11:07.860 throw that out the window so there's a very good chance that you get promoted on the spot because dude

00:11:12.980 a lot of times it just takes some stimulus to get someone to jump right like once this person

00:11:21.160 understands that you actually do have another option over here they're going to say fuck all right i can't

00:11:26.060 let this go let's make this happen and that's the natural human reaction in that scenario so that's

00:11:31.600 how i would handle it and then if they say well hey uh you need to go take that other position i would

00:11:37.500 listen to them because a good leader is is going to tell someone what is best for them right and and a

00:11:46.580 good leader is also going to know that if they keep you there and you don't progress you're going to

00:11:51.220 become a problem for the company so that's how i would do this i would go get the offer i would go

00:11:57.020 talk to your current company i would see what that looks like get their actual before you present it to

00:12:02.120 them get their actual feedback get their actual uh you know plan for you get a time frame and then once

00:12:08.740 they give you all that then show them the offer and then they will accelerate the path the reason you

00:12:15.660 want to do it in that order is because the minute that that they tell you well it's going to be four

00:12:20.980 months or this you could say well look dude you just told me this is a path i'm equipped to do this

00:12:25.700 i can do that and you can make a case for yourself so it's not like you know you present the offer and

00:12:31.100 then they they they're going to be negotiating back on the path that you might have does that make

00:12:35.200 sense perfect so you want them to lay the path out first and then you want to leverage them and

00:12:39.980 that's how it should put the ball in their court correct yeah and if they say no you take the

00:12:44.380 other offer and move on yeah that's fine but you have to be prepared to walk away the the person who

00:12:49.720 is prepared to walk away in a negotiation always holds the leverage 100 of the time it's no different

00:12:56.880 in any situation that you're negotiating whether it be a personal situation a business situation

00:13:01.960 fucking friends it doesn't matter whoever is willing to walk away and mean it holds the the power at

00:13:08.320 that moment and they have the leverage at that moment so you have to be willing to get what you

00:13:13.420 want you have to be willing to walk away that's the reality so in this scenario you need to have a

00:13:18.440 good place to go so that you're not sitting at home with no income yeah yeah fuck man i feel like i feel

00:13:25.560 like what this comes down to man is people's ability to be comfortable in conflict or what they perceive

00:13:31.640 as conflict you know i'm saying like these difficult situations or like even like like even the the

00:13:38.060 fear because i feel like maybe it's just current society current culture right where like you know

00:13:43.640 people don't talk about their paychecks with their their their co-workers you don't like like there's a

00:13:47.480 like there's a certain atmosphere i guess in the workforce man and it's like nobody's comfortable

00:13:52.120 even just having basic conversations even when it means like it's your like to your advantage yeah but

00:13:58.300 see you should always be comfortable talking about money you should always be comfortable having

00:14:02.980 open dialogue about your career progress and i think most people don't succeed in life because

00:14:09.100 they automatically label conversations that need to be had to progress their life as hard conversations

00:14:17.220 they're not actually hard conversations they're not any harder than any other conversation

00:14:21.840 it's words coming out of your mouth it's the same thing okay you're attaching the label of hard to

00:14:29.000 it which is making you resist but if you look at past the conversation what's going to be past the

00:14:35.380 conversation sure certain conversations in your life are going to be very painful when it comes to your

00:14:40.520 job when it comes to your relationships when it comes to friendships sometimes with your kids

00:14:45.060 the conversation part sucks but what's on the other side of the conversation what's on the other side

00:14:52.040 almost 100 of the time is always a better outcome so the fact that you label the conversation

00:14:58.200 as hard keeps you from having it which then keeps you from getting where you want to go and so most

00:15:04.160 people spend their lives in the purgatory of agonizing over a conversation that would be very

00:15:10.080 easy to have and produce the best possible results in the shortest amount of time but because they label

00:15:16.360 it the wrong way instead of labeling it as a productive conversation they label it as a hard conversation

00:15:23.140 so i would recommend that you guys start to see conversations that you may fear as a productive

00:15:30.580 conversation not as a hard conversation because what happens past that is 99 to 100 always better

00:15:38.800 for everybody involved it doesn't doesn't get easier yeah i mean the older you get it gets easier

00:15:44.560 because you stop i mean look dude when you've been through enough shit and it doesn't kill you

00:15:48.760 you become less afraid of stuff right like i mean you you see how i operate right like i don't i don't

00:15:55.140 hesitate at all but but dude also i don't have ill will towards people like like even if i yell like

00:16:02.020 let's say i yell at you or i yell at madad or something i'm pissed at the team i you guys still

00:16:06.480 know i fucking love you yeah 100 right like there's no there's no it's not like this you know what i'm

00:16:11.680 saying so like if the intent's right i you know i don't know i just i don't know i think you mature

00:16:17.760 into it i think you get used to it it's reps but i also think you start to understand what i just said

00:16:22.440 it's like i'm trying to get to the productive point as quick as possible right so the quicker

00:16:27.740 i have the conversation the quicker we get to the point right and you know unfortunately i think most

00:16:32.220 people rot in purgatory their entire lives and deal with a job they don't want or a marriage they

00:16:37.860 don't want or fucking situation that they don't want in their life because they're afraid to have a

00:16:42.100 conversation when in reality the conversation yeah dude it's going to be it might be a little

00:16:47.280 painful but past that everybody's happier you see what i'm saying yeah so you got to start looking

00:16:52.880 at it as productive not as hard and you know a way to sit down and have those conversations and say

00:16:59.020 hey man uh i need to have a conversation with you it's going to be a little uncomfortable but look

00:17:03.860 dude it's going to be good for both of us and we're going to be better off let's let's talk you

00:17:08.240 know what i'm saying like it's easy to frame it's just productive it's not hard do you think a lot

00:17:13.240 of that too man is like people always have these like preconceived notions of what the other person

00:17:17.860 is going to say or feel well yeah because dude we've had i mean how many times have you had a

00:17:24.420 conversation like this and the other person like overreacted or was rude or or reacted emotionally

00:17:30.520 and those things traumatize us to the point where we don't want to have those anymore because we're

00:17:34.720 afraid that that's going to happen every time but the reality is is sometimes we're just dealing

00:17:39.260 with immature people sometimes we're immature you know but at the end of the day dude we have to as

00:17:44.820 adults be able to communicate in order to push our own lives down the road and if we don't develop the

00:17:50.980 ability to communicate about things that really matter like our careers our relationships our money

00:17:55.660 we're gonna lose you're gonna lose in all those things you're gonna end up broke you're gonna end up

00:18:01.020 in a relationship that you fucking hate you're gonna end up unhappy and the whole reason that you're

00:18:06.200 ended up in this place is because you're afraid to have a fucking hour-long conversation you're

00:18:10.240 trading a fucking hour of your life for a better life think about that yeah fuck man i fucking love

00:18:18.280 it man why would you not trade an hour to two hours or three hours of your life for 50 fucking

00:18:24.500 years to change the whole trajectory exactly yeah fuck me i love it man i love it guys andy

00:18:30.720 question number two uh hey andy uh i'm 22 years old and i know i'm young and ignorant as fuck well

00:18:39.360 that's a good thing you know that it's a good way to start that's right it is um there's a lot i have

00:18:44.800 to learn and i'm very eager to learn from others i feel i've always been very teachable um i've been

00:18:51.760 around livestock my whole life from my family um and they've helped and taught me so much but recently

00:18:58.360 i've started my own operations and i've researched different methods of operations that my family

00:19:05.040 repeatedly tell me won't work and give me other advice i tell them it's an experiment and if it

00:19:12.440 doesn't work i'll try something else my question is how do you determine the difference between being

00:19:18.360 humble and teachable and going with your own ideas thank you uh for all you do for us well look

00:19:25.280 nobody has all the answers even the people you ask for advice okay and this is very important

00:19:32.780 for everybody to understand you need to be very very very discerning about who you ask for advice

00:19:39.960 from and who you listen to we are bombarded every single day both in life and online by people offering

00:19:49.780 us unsolicited advice they think they can give us advice about everything how to raise your kid

00:19:56.100 how to do your job how to do fitness how to do business their opinions on what you drive how you do

00:20:03.300 this everything is unsolicited advice and so when we're bombarded with especially online all this

00:20:12.820 different advice about how we should do what we should do and this and that you need to realize number one

00:20:17.540 unless that person is an actual expert in that field you should not ask them for advice no matter what their

00:20:24.260 intent is for you because a lot of people will listen to bad advice from their friends because they think their

00:20:30.020 friends have their best interest in mind and they probably do but just because someone has their best interest

00:20:37.380 in mind doesn't mean they're going to give you good advice so it's very important that you learn to detach your

00:20:43.540 emotions and logically evaluate is this person capable of giving me effective advice in the area

00:20:53.300 that i am asking to be better in okay if the answer is no which it usually is you got to find someone

00:21:00.820 who's done that all right if it's your relationship you're gonna find someone who who is a relationship

00:21:06.420 expert i don't think anybody's a relationship expert i think these people that fucking talk about it

00:21:10.420 online all day long or full of shit they usually end up breaking up making themselves look like

00:21:15.380 fucking idiots on the internet that's a whole nother topic but my point is is we have to get to a point

00:21:23.620 where we are able to discern and evaluate who is qualified to give us effective advice all right so

00:21:29.380 that's point number one point number two how to balance the advice with our own gut feeling okay

00:21:36.980 if you're talking to someone who is uh the best livestock rancher ever all right and he's telling you

00:21:46.580 something and it's the opposite of what you think and this guy has a hundred thousand head of cattle and he's worth

00:21:56.020 a hundred million dollars off of cattle no matter what you think is right you're wrong you're right he's right

00:22:03.540 right okay right and so we have to we have to be able to be humble enough to know when our instincts

00:22:12.820 are right or wrong or when we need to roll the dice on what we think because all innovation comes from

00:22:20.180 going outside the norms of regular advice so if you only take advice and you only operate on someone's

00:22:27.780 advice you're probably going to win but you're not going to develop anything new all right you're

00:22:33.700 always going to be in second or third or fourth or fifth place you're never going to be number one

00:22:37.860 so you have to learn to balance your creative thinking with other people's experience and when

00:22:42.980 you can do that effectively it creates a pretty good recipe most people can't do that because the

00:22:48.180 minute someone has one good idea or two good ideas that work they lose the ability to learn

00:22:54.100 because they think they know better than everybody else so we have to find the the the middle ground

00:22:59.700 and that's just practice and being aware and being conscious of am i humble am i coachable and do i

00:23:08.020 actually know this or am i just guessing and that can just be hard to determine sometimes so having

00:23:14.100 people that that know better right like go to your rancher buddy the guy who's way more successful than

00:23:19.140 you say hey pete look man um i know that makes sense but like what about this because this is how

00:23:27.620 i feel and what's likely going to happen he's going to say dude you know what i thought that same thing

00:23:32.100 back then but here's what i did i did this and this and this and it didn't work and here's why it didn't

00:23:37.380 work so what i would do is find someone and then bounce that gut feeling that you have off of them who

00:23:43.780 has the experience to give you the advice and then you'll start to figure out what's what i love that

00:23:49.220 dude i i feel like there's a couple of things here man going out on your own you know you mentioned

00:23:55.780 this a lot right like you spent a lot of time before you that hockey stick really got into effect right

00:24:01.860 and while you wasn't really you know i guess producing fruits you were still like learning lessons

00:24:06.980 oh yeah during that time oh yeah so there is something to be said oh yeah just going out and being a

00:24:11.380 dumbass that doesn't know anything no doubt you know what i'm saying like let's talk about that

00:24:15.060 a little bit okay well i'll i'll give you a so so dude it's taken me 26 years of my life to get to

00:24:20.900 this point all right and when i say that there'll be some internet fuck face that'll be like oh

00:24:26.820 fucking 26 years you really want to put that in blah blah blah blah blah okay i get what you're saying

00:24:32.900 but here's the reality you who made a little bit of money and fucking a year or two years

00:24:40.900 if we compete against each other my tool belt is unlimited yours is very small okay so i'm going

00:24:48.420 to crush you a hundred times out of a hundred because all the shit that you think i've already

00:24:52.660 known right so we have to put value in the process and while i tell the story of my own journey where

00:25:00.740 i'm like hey it took me 10 years for 10 years uh total i made fifty eight thousand three hundred eighty

00:25:05.860 dollars and i tell the story right i lived in the store blah blah didn't get paid the first three

00:25:10.820 years i tell you know the whole thing i am so thankful that it took that long because of what

00:25:17.780 it taught me and that's what makes me effective at coaching and helping entrepreneurs win because i've

00:25:23.460 learned all the lessons from zero to here and i learned them the way in a way that you would have to

00:25:30.580 to learn them so i'm teaching from real experience not theory all right and so um you know while i

00:25:38.980 would have liked it to take less time uh now that i'm here i'm glad it took longer because i learned

00:25:46.100 all the stuff but you should listen to people who have been a dumbass like me and had to beat their

00:25:52.660 head against the wall for 20 plus years because we've been through all the you're about to go

00:25:58.020 through and have gone through so there's a big difference between someone who makes a little

00:26:03.620 bit of money quick because dude it's just like that saying goes easy come easy go because dude if

00:26:08.340 you make a little money quick you don't have the skills to maintain it or compound it or keep growing

00:26:12.420 it you don't know what to do because you never did it all right i have yeah i love that man the other

00:26:18.340 other part too because i mean he specifically talked about his family and i know like family

00:26:22.580 could definitely bring in you know they want what's best for you and obviously i mean they have some

00:26:26.820 experience but i like for some reason this like this image came up of like okay like you know you got

00:26:32.260 you know uh you're a logger i'm a logger right and you're using a fucking axe an axe cuts down

00:26:38.660 fucking trees yeah for sure i want to use a chainsaw you know what i'm saying so it's like

00:26:43.780 can we talk about just the dynamic i mean times like what they're maybe using is working for them

00:26:48.660 because that's how they've been doing it but well look bro i mean you got to be able to adapt right

00:26:53.220 well that's my point if you if you just do what someone who has already done says to do

00:27:00.740 you you miss out on creatively finding a new way that could change the way that your company

00:27:08.420 grows it could accelerate it could kill it right yeah um it could change the entire

00:27:13.460 fucking landscape of business all right what do you you know the the guy who dug ditches right

00:27:18.500 like he digs ditches and then all of a sudden he's like fuck i come up with this machine called the

00:27:22.900 ditch witch it digs the ditch for me all right like that that you know where that idea probably came

00:27:28.500 from it probably came from a dude who spent most of his day digging a fucking ditch and he's like this

00:27:33.780 is hard right but if he were to listen to the guys who dug ditches before him and they said hey

00:27:40.020 how do you dig this ditch he's going to tell you what the fucking shovel but because he was able to

00:27:45.620 dig the ditch with the shovel and then have the perspective of digging the ditch with the shovel

00:27:50.020 and decided fuck this is way too hard they came up with this machine that does it for you okay and

00:27:55.060 that would have been impossible had he just listened to the person that was giving him the lesson on how to

00:27:59.300 use the shovel see what i'm saying so we have to balance what we can learn from other people with

00:28:07.300 our own ideas and be able to know when to go with our own ideas or to go with what they said when we

00:28:13.940 started first form the entire supplement industry was completely different it was all everybody sold

00:28:22.820 through distributors okay there was like a two or three big distributors you sold to them they sold to

00:28:28.580 the to the stores all right when we came along we said we're not going to sell to the distributors

00:28:35.860 we're going to actually sell direct to the consumer from our own warehouse which people didn't do back

00:28:41.300 then all right and everybody who owned those distributors when they when i told them we were

00:28:46.100 going to do that you know what they said you're fucking insane it's not going to work yeah okay and

00:28:50.580 you know how many of those distributors are still open none and here we are okay now had i listened to

00:28:57.300 them i'd be right where they are too you get what i'm saying so this is a fucking now everybody's

00:29:03.700 selling now everybody does what we do right and i was told the fucking what we were doing was stupid

00:29:09.380 so that's a perfect real example of what i'm talking about i walked out of a meeting one time where

00:29:16.180 one of the owners of one of the big distributors said dude that's not going to work and i said i think

00:29:22.100 it's going to work and you know what he said to me well then go do it you know where he is now

00:29:28.340 i don't know if i know where you are that's right he knows where i am too guarantee it yeah but like

00:29:35.140 bro that's the point had i listened to him we'd be right there wherever the fuck he is

00:29:40.260 i fucking love it man guys we got some young guns man we got a third and final question question

00:29:46.260 number three hey andy my name is luke and i am a 20 year old business owner first of all thank you

00:29:53.540 for your work as you would expect you have truly changed my life i used to sell electricity in the

00:29:59.220 back of walmart's and now i own an exterior cleaning business we are two and a half months in and doing

00:30:05.380 30k a month my question for you is how do you handle stress i have been in a few stressful situations

00:30:12.980 before but i've never gotten to the point where it affects me physically until today as an ultra

00:30:18.660 successful business owner and man what are some experiences of high level stress you have encountered

00:30:24.660 and what are some things you have implemented to handle it thanks andy and dj you guys are the

00:30:29.700 highlight of my stressful day well look man you're 20 years old okay you you haven't been

00:30:36.660 stress is a relative experience okay what's stressful for you i would laugh at but only

00:30:44.340 because i've been doing what you're doing for 25 years all right so just like when you get in a cold

00:30:50.900 plunge the first day and it freaks you the fuck out and you want it like you're you're hyper that's

00:30:56.100 that's you right now okay dealing with base level stress as you progress down the pipe of entrepreneurship

00:31:03.460 you're going to become more acclimated and more acclimated and more acclimated to where i promise

00:31:09.140 you in three or four years you're going to look back to this right now and you're going to laugh

00:31:13.700 about how stressed you were over what you're doing right now okay now with that being said i'm not

00:31:18.980 minimizing your stress because to you it's a massive problem all right so here's what you got to do and

00:31:27.220 this is very hard when you're young first of all you got to realize that very few mistakes are fatal

00:31:34.180 all right very few mistakes will kill your business now there are some that will but they're very few

00:31:40.020 and the truth of the matter is the only real thing that can kill your business is you stopping your

00:31:44.500 business okay so it's in your control no matter what happens no matter how bad it gets no matter if you

00:31:50.580 get canceled or fucking embarrassed or you have a crisis you can always come back if you start if you if

00:31:56.740 you fix it and do the right thing all right so there's that okay secondly when you are an

00:32:06.020 entrepreneur a lot of times we make excuses to not do things that will naturally make our stress

00:32:14.180 easier to handle like eating properly training with weights running cardio okay being outside we start

00:32:22.580 to tell ourselves things like well fuck dude i'm an entrepreneur i'm doing this and this

00:32:26.660 and this i can i can be a fat or i could i used to tell myself this like bro when i was 300 plus

00:32:32.260 pounds and and you know we had a business i would tell myself dude i'm too stressed no one knows what

00:32:40.500 i'm doing no one knows what i'm going through the average person that works out all the time they

00:32:46.180 couldn't fucking do what i do every day so it's okay and and here's the truth it's not okay

00:32:51.940 all right and once i started eating properly once i started training properly consistently

00:32:57.620 you know on the live hard program once i made it a part of my lifestyle my ability to handle stress

00:33:04.660 went so far up that i i can't even tell you it changed my life and what when it goes up what that

00:33:11.140 actually means is the stress that you feel feels way less intense so that is something that i think every

00:33:17.380 entrepreneur should take seriously i think every person should take it seriously but every entrepreneur

00:33:23.220 should take their discipline and their ability to cultivate discipline and be fit serious that is

00:33:31.140 why the live hard program is a lifestyle it is not a trend it is not a challenge it is a

00:33:38.740 fucking lifestyle that's why it's been around for so long all right so i would go listen to live hard uh

00:33:44.900 on episode 208 of the podcast or buy the book off the website andyprisola.com and start living that

00:33:50.260 lifestyle the live hard program is meant to be replicated every single year of your life forever

00:33:55.140 and i guarantee you if you do you will get better and better and better and better and better and

00:33:58.900 your ability to manage stress will get better and better and better better with that and that's

00:34:03.220 important because the bigger you get and the more success you have and the more obligations and

00:34:08.260 responsibilities such as many employees the stress is much higher you think you're stressed now

00:34:14.500 wait until you have hundreds of employees whose all their families depend on you to eat their kids

00:34:20.420 depend on you for christmas presents their everything depends on you wait until you're there and you

00:34:27.060 think about stress okay and you don't want to get up and you don't want to do the job and you don't want to

00:34:32.100 you don't want to go kick ass and and then you remember fuck dude if i don't do this that guy right

00:34:38.260 there that helped me build this company who has three kids is going to have a problem feeding those

00:34:42.340 fucking kids you see what i'm saying that's real stress okay so it's important that you develop

00:34:49.300 your your ability to handle it over the course of time if you plan on growing because it's going to

00:34:54.580 get worse and worse and worse so uh you know and developing your mental fortitude and your mental

00:35:01.460 discipline is a big part of being able to handle stress okay it doesn't matter if you're stressed it

00:35:06.340 doesn't matter if you're hurt it doesn't matter if you're upset it doesn't matter if you're frustrated

00:35:10.420 if your discipline is on point your mental toughness on point you're going to be able

00:35:13.940 to execute in spite of the situation being that way and you're going to move forward whether you

00:35:19.060 feel good or not and once you can move forward whether you feel good or not nobody can fuck with

00:35:24.100 you okay because everybody else quits when things get hard everybody else quits when they get sick or

00:35:31.140 they have an excuse or they get in a funk or they get you know whatever if you're able to operate

00:35:37.380 even when things are hard you can't be with so i would commit long term long term to the development

00:35:46.420 of your own mental toughness your grit your fortitude your your discipline your self-belief

00:35:52.740 your confidence all of these things intentionally develop them they're not traits they are skills and

00:35:59.940 they are perishable skills and if you don't intentionally develop them you will not have them when you need

00:36:05.700 them so go listen to the live hard program that's exactly what it does it develops all these skills

00:36:10.900 and it sharpens them over and over and over and people some people are like well if it works why

00:36:15.860 do you got to keep doing it well why do you take a shower every day you're right okay because you

00:36:19.860 fucking stink all right why do you fucking why why do you practice guitar every single day because it's

00:36:25.860 a perishable skill why do you practice the piano like why do we do anything more than once

00:36:31.300 because we have to sharpen our skill set with perishable skills and you don't understand that

00:36:37.940 discipline grit fortitude self-belief all of these things that encompass mental toughness

00:36:45.140 self-esteem cough these are fucking skills that we have to develop and then maintain and for you to go

00:36:52.260 from where you are at 20 years old to where you want to be at 40 years old you're going to have to

00:36:57.780 have those sharpened over and over and over and again so live that lifestyle it's going to make

00:37:03.780 things uh exponentially easier for you to get where you're going we can either be hard on ourselves we

00:37:09.780 can either train ourselves we can either put ourselves through hell or we can let the world do it it's your

00:37:15.300 choice but i am telling you right now that if you make the commitment to becoming the absolute best

00:37:23.300 version of yourself mentally and physically your ability to handle stress will go through the

00:37:28.820 fucking roof which will allow you to be effective because you will be able to execute at a high level

00:37:35.540 when everybody else freaks the fuck out i love it man now i feel like we should bring this up because

00:37:41.940 you know it's this is real af there's not no frou-frou bullshit right um but i think it is it is

00:37:47.940 important because i feel like especially for this guy i mean he's 20 years old he's at a pivotal age where

00:37:52.820 you know you can you can start getting different vices to help handle with stress right like whether

00:37:59.140 that be gambling you go to the fucking casino or drinking or you go to the fucking bar every

00:38:03.060 fucking weekend you know i'm saying like does that you know relieve that specific stress sure right

00:38:08.180 there maybe instant gratification relief right but it actually makes it worse in the long term right

00:38:13.380 we gotta that's why i like when people say um i'm so depressed i need a drink yeah you're gonna feel

00:38:18.660 good for a couple hours but the next three days you're gonna want to blow your fucking brains out

00:38:22.820 okay we have to be able to look past the instant gratification and by the way i'm glad you brought

00:38:28.660 this up because if you don't know how to do this and you lack the discipline to do this you're gonna

00:38:33.620 spin your wheels because every time you get frustrated you're gonna get a little bit of relief but then

00:38:38.420 you're gonna find yourself in a deeper hole and that process repeats itself over and over and over

00:38:43.700 and over again until it costs you everything all right i don't know i don't really know anybody who lives

00:38:50.340 that i gotta drink when i'm stressed lifestyle that doesn't end up at the bottom of the fucking

00:38:54.580 toilet eventually all right so we have to come up with helpful habits that help us manage stress if you

00:39:02.980 can go in the gym stressed and lift for an hour and still come out stressed then you're you're

00:39:08.820 fucked yeah so yeah just fucking quit all right but the truth of the matter is is that like uh

00:39:17.300 you know you really need that you need some sort of physical release you know like

00:39:21.540 i don't train with weights because i want to i mean i like being in shape but that's not why i do it bro

00:39:26.740 i do it so i can mentally be the best that i can be right when we take it from physical like the

00:39:32.420 physical benefit of like hey i want to be jacked i want to look good in the pool or i want to my clothes

00:39:36.660 want to fit and move it over to the mental of hey i want to feel good i want to have confidence i want to

00:39:42.660 know that i have control over my outcome not the out the circumstances having control over me

00:39:49.540 when i start looking at it like a competition between me and that fucking beer or me and that

00:39:55.060 fucking food or me and that gambling or whatever your vice is and i start seeing as a competition

00:40:01.060 that's a lot different than saying oh i just want to lose weight to look good

00:40:04.740 fuck that fucking beer that beer doesn't fucking own me it doesn't have any fucking power over me

00:40:09.220 that's a powerful statement a powerful belief if you can back it up with your actions and when you back

00:40:14.100 it up with your actions it boosts your confidence in yourself it boosts your discipline it boosts your

00:40:20.500 belief it boosts your self-esteem you are now more worthy because you overcame

00:40:24.980 something that used to have power over you and when you do this intentionally over and over and

00:40:29.220 over and over again throughout the course of your day like we do with live hard intentionally

00:40:34.500 now you're in a situation where you're constantly boost boosting your stats and your

00:40:38.340 skill sets it's just like madden bro you know you're at you're at a speed of 80 but you want

00:40:43.380 to get to 99 you got to fucking run sprints dude and that'll boost your score it'll boost your

00:40:48.180 score it'll boost your score so you got to think of things like discipline and grit and fortitude and

00:40:53.460 self-belief and confidence and self-esteem all of these things are things that can be improved

00:40:58.820 it's like a rating that you're going to pour into and it's it's going to improve it's no different

00:41:03.860 than you going in the gym and lifting some weights and your muscles getting bigger your brain works the

00:41:09.060 same way when you force it into uncomfortable situations when you force it into intentional

00:41:14.340 adversity it becomes stronger it becomes tougher and then the things that come down

00:41:18.420 uh on us through our day-to-day lives become that much easier to manage i fucking love it man guys

00:41:25.060 that's a hell of a way to start a monday yeah guys let's get out there and kick some ass this week

00:41:29.220 and we'll uh see you tomorrow for cti

00:41:31.140 we're sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze

00:41:35.940 fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't

00:41:42.980 fold that's a no head shot case close

00:41:50.660 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - November 25, 2024

816. Q&AF： Weighing Your Options, Gut Vs Guidance & Balancing Money And Stress

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript