REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 835. Q&AF： How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.100 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today

00:00:25.620 we have q and a f all right that's where you send us the questions and we give you the answers now

00:00:32.220 you could submit your questions to be answered on the show a few different ways the first way is

00:00:36.300 guys email these questions in to ask andy at andy for seller.com or you go on youtube in the

00:00:43.180 comment section of the q and a f episodes drop your question in the comments and we'll choose

00:00:47.340 some from there as well now throughout the week we have shows within the show this is not just an

00:00:52.300 entrepreneur show it's an entrepreneur show it's a culture show and it's a comedy show

00:00:56.820 all wrapped into one so tomorrow we're going to have what we call cti that stands for cruise the

00:01:02.880 internet that's where we take headlines of the day we break them down we speculate on what's true

00:01:07.960 what's not true we make fun of everybody and uh we kind of bring you up to speed on current events

00:01:12.940 then we talk about how we the people that solve these problems going on in society other times

00:01:17.080 throughout the week we have what's called real talk we don't do that all the time but just once

00:01:21.040 in a while it's just five to twenty minutes of me giving you a message usually around personal

00:01:25.160 development or how to be better and then we have what's called 75 hard versus that's where people

00:01:30.640 who have completed the 75 hard program come on the show talk about how their life was before

00:01:36.040 how their life is now and how they use the 75 hard program to transform their existence now if

00:01:42.360 you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the world's most famous mental transformation program

00:01:47.440 in history and it's free you can get it episode 208 it also happens to be the initial phase of the

00:01:55.820 live hard program which is a program that is designed to be repeated year after year after year to keep

00:02:01.620 your discipline your grit your fortitude your mental game on point remember our mental is a perishable

00:02:09.940 skill if we don't practice building it it goes away no different than a muscle okay so you can get that

00:02:14.680 whole program for free at episode 208 now there is a book it's called the book on mental toughness

00:02:20.780 it is a very very very popular book so much so that we run out of it all the time you can get that at

00:02:26.520 andy for seller.com it goes through the entire live hard program a to z and it also has a whole bunch of

00:02:32.000 chapters on mental toughness why it's important case studies and how you should use it to transform

00:02:37.920 your lives again you can get that at andy for seller.com the book on mental toughness all right

00:02:43.100 uh we don't run ads on the show we're the biggest show in the world that doesn't run ads i'm an

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00:03:11.180 the show we don't run ads on the show i don't feel your ears full of 30 minutes of bullshit that i'm

00:03:16.200 getting paid to say all right i keep it real this is called real af um so that's the fee uh don't be

00:03:24.780 a hoe show the show all right what's going on man nothing dude what's up long week yeah been a long

00:03:30.600 week yeah bro we uh just got done with the first form s2 annual awards dinner last night that was

00:03:37.420 fucking awesome people always look good man bro it is good seeing everybody look good it is you know

00:03:42.700 i'm saying like we should mandate tuxedos in the office once a month at least once a month yeah but

00:03:48.060 dude you know what's cool is is like you can see on everybody's face how much better they feel when

00:03:53.260 they're dressed up nice man it's cool like that culture is going to make a comeback men dressing like

00:03:58.460 men women dressing like ladies you know what i'm saying yeah well dude it is i mean i can already

00:04:04.280 see it um but that was cool uh we just got back from austin that was cool austin's a great city i

00:04:12.700 really enjoyed it uh down there to see you know uh my ferrari dealer those guys were cool jp and the

00:04:19.720 guys down there and then uh and then we went to jesse james a legend that was fucking awesome got to

00:04:26.400 hang out with a legend yeah that was cool dude uh got to go see the one of the most famous you know

00:04:32.180 bike builders welders craftsmen uh entrepreneurs of really our era yeah um and it was just really

00:04:40.400 cool to to see his shop and you know meet his friends and his his his the guys and the girls in

00:04:46.740 the shop meet his wife you know it was fucking cool dude that was cool um jesse's got a lot of cool

00:04:53.560 stuff coming up to you guys like we got to hear all about it he's got some new shows launching

00:04:57.180 uh if you've never watched jesse james's stuff i'd highly recommend you go watch it i really

00:05:01.900 you know like you could tell just being around him how much he cares about the art like he's really

00:05:09.200 an artist the trade yeah dude and like we watched one of his shows on his new network um that he's

00:05:15.980 launching on his app and and we watched we got to watch the one where they went deep sea welding

00:05:20.160 yeah and um dude seeing him teach those kids how to weld was just so fucking cool man yeah you know

00:05:29.360 what i mean like teaching the youth how to have actual trade and actual skill and take pride in

00:05:35.020 their work um it was just i mean dude that dude's built some shit man huh he's built some shit you

00:05:41.740 know i'm saying like like seeing like that trade being taught to those kids by a dude who's like

00:05:45.880 taking that skill made a massive career out of it yeah tremendous amounts of success out of

00:05:51.000 something that most people think is like you know something that people do that can't do other things

00:05:56.100 right it's just not true yeah and uh i just really appreciate you know the the how dedicated he is to

00:06:03.840 bringing the that trade and that craft to other people and then and then seeing like how he appreciates

00:06:12.000 other people's crafts yeah you know it's just it was fucking cool and then he's got the awesome dogs

00:06:17.300 yeah yeah and then we went to eat where we go we went to uh the switch yeah man some of the best

00:06:22.620 barbecue apparently some of the guys down there listening to the show a few of them shout out to

00:06:26.960 the switch you guys stop taking it so easy on people that's right yeah i was told i was too easy

00:06:31.420 on people so we're gonna have some savage shows this week no mercy baby no mercy straight into the

00:06:37.400 wood chipper let's do it fucking everybody well i got three good ones for you all right let's get it

00:06:42.760 going all right guys any question number one uh andy i grew up avoiding conflict and difficult

00:06:51.040 conversations because they made me uncomfortable now as a team leader i realize this habit is holding

00:06:57.580 me back from addressing problems directly how can i build the fortitude to tackle through

00:07:03.480 conversations without fear or avoidance what we got on this well first of all you have to realize

00:07:11.060 that unless you can have conversations direct you're going to have tremendous limits on how far

00:07:18.020 you can go with your career uh and your life you know a lot of people hide from the difficult

00:07:23.560 conversations which really aren't difficult they're just conversations um because they label them as

00:07:30.860 difficult up front so it keeps them from wanting to have the conversation it keeps them uh you know

00:07:37.240 procrastinating and then what ends up happening is they end up living in a situation that they are

00:07:42.960 very uh unhappy with and unfulfilled with and frustrated with uh all because you know for whatever

00:07:49.540 reason they've been conditioned to believe that these kind of conversations are i don't know not worth

00:07:57.360 having and the reality is is we all know the conversations that need to be had we all know uh

00:08:04.000 where we want to go and what we're trying to do and that takes being a clear communicator and direct

00:08:09.120 and if you would stop labeling these things as quote unquote hard or difficult conversations and just

00:08:15.060 see them as conversations that need to be had to progress where you are trying to take your life

00:08:20.380 uh it removes a lot of the resistance that you would normally have to that

00:08:24.140 now how do you get good at that uh first of all you need to reframe like we're talking about here

00:08:30.200 where you say instead of having i need to have a difficult conversation uh you say hey man i gotta

00:08:35.760 have a conversation with you okay that's the first thing you have to recognize and there's a trade-off

00:08:40.560 on the back end of having that conversation uh which may be you know the conversation does cause some

00:08:47.480 anxiety or maybe it is a little bit uncomfortable but there's a there's a flip side of that that comes

00:08:52.400 down the pipe where you get to be way more comfortable so uh it's it's no different than

00:08:57.540 any other hurdle in life it's no different than you know working through any sort of obstacle or

00:09:03.420 difficulty once you get past it there is a better existence on the other side of that so you have to

00:09:10.300 understand that uh and secondly it's practice dude you know when you first do anything it's not

00:09:17.260 uncomfortable um you know the first time i ever gave a talk in front of people i was scared shitless

00:09:22.460 the first time i ever did anything i wasn't very good at it so if you've been avoiding having these

00:09:28.280 conversations avoiding having these uh you know discussions that need to be had it's going to be

00:09:36.340 uncomfortable in the beginning but the more you do it the easier it gets so you have to muster up that

00:09:41.660 courage in the beginning to make sure that you actually follow through and have these conversations

00:09:48.000 and if you don't dude your relationship's going to suffer you're going to you're going to be with

00:09:52.580 someone that you really don't want to be with you're not going to make as much money as you want to make

00:09:56.680 uh you know think your life may be okay but it's never going to be great and i think honestly this

00:10:03.500 question and this difficulty is one of the things that uh you know really holds people back the most

00:10:10.820 a lot of people have it yeah for sure dude um i think most people have it you know they don't want

00:10:15.140 to hurt someone's feelings they don't want to be seen a certain way and at some point in time

00:10:21.100 you got to be a little selfish you got to say hey man this is my life uh i have to say the things that

00:10:27.280 are going to get me to where i want to go and you have to quit putting them off for the sake of how

00:10:32.440 other people are going to react and you have to let them react the way they're going to react

00:10:36.380 and you have to go and do what you think is right for you and so these are these are difficult things

00:10:42.320 to do uh when you haven't done them and you know it just comes with practice it comes with time and

00:10:48.280 you know i had struggled with this when i was younger when i was you know early in my early in

00:10:53.200 my business life early in my life these things were very hard and and you know as you move through

00:10:58.640 life and you have more situations that you have to address it becomes easier and easier and easier

00:11:03.620 yeah for sure i think a lot of it is is like you said they put too much pressure like what the other

00:11:08.080 person is going to think and like i've been in those situations like you bring it up like fuck

00:11:12.120 man this ain't you bring it up it's like oh it wasn't that bad yeah well and also dude a lot of

00:11:17.860 times we're dealing with people that don't know how to react or are highly emotional or very selfish

00:11:23.820 people who you know only care about themselves you have to remember that like most people are fucking

00:11:30.340 selfish dude so like they don't give a shit whether or not it's hurting you or as long as

00:11:36.520 they're getting what they want and um you know that's that's a whole different story that's that's

00:11:42.060 a story of not having that person in your vicinity in your network in your life because when you're

00:11:48.980 surrounded by people who don't care how much you suffer uh for the sake of their you know homeostasis

00:11:57.000 in their life uh you know that's a problem i've also heard you to say this and i mean i don't know

00:12:02.620 if it applies to this but i've seen you do this in action where you focus on just the intent right

00:12:09.020 like are we trying to fix the problem like what's the what's the actual problem yeah and that's what

00:12:14.060 you put at the forefront anytime you have to have any i've seen you do this thousands of times yeah

00:12:17.720 is this is this pretty much yeah i mean that's a part of it right dude like you know you're gonna hurt

00:12:22.880 less feelings when you are trying to get the proper outcome for everybody involved right you

00:12:27.940 know um a lot of people like i just said are very selfish dude and they want what is best for them

00:12:35.180 no matter what it means to the people around them and those people don't belong in your life but if

00:12:39.940 you have the right people in your life and you're able to deliver a message with the proper intent of

00:12:44.900 you know creating a better circumstance for you and the other party now we're in a situation of

00:12:50.980 just having an adult conversation it doesn't need to be painful it doesn't need to be emotional

00:12:55.720 it doesn't need to be this big argument it's just hey look dude this isn't working or this needs to

00:13:00.940 be changed and the outcome on the other side of that is going to be better for everybody 100 man

00:13:06.460 i think the other cool like i mean we talk about reasons why people have problems with this

00:13:10.060 this situation too and you know we gotta put some onus on the person trying to have this conversation

00:13:16.320 if you ain't got your shit together it's kind of hard to have a difficult conversation about

00:13:20.140 somebody else that ain't got their shit together yeah right like i think you you said before like

00:13:24.120 you got to hold yourself accountable to hold anybody else accountable yeah and so i mean i

00:13:27.820 think that i feel like that might be another reason where like you know the reason you don't

00:13:31.000 want to have the conversation because you know your shit ain't right well it's definitely a reason

00:13:34.160 in the in the realm of leadership okay a lot of people suck at leading because they know that

00:13:41.040 they're not even leading themselves and if you can't lead yourself you can't lead other people

00:13:44.500 and if you try to lead other people when you're not leading yourselves they're going to see right

00:13:47.860 through it they're not going to respect you and you're going to have a very difficult time

00:13:51.160 and that doesn't matter if it's a leadership situation uh on a team or in business or in

00:13:56.900 your household you can't hold other people accountable to things that you're not holding

00:14:01.560 yourself accountable to so this is a big you know you're pointing out something that is a big problem

00:14:06.740 for a lot of people uh it causes them to hesitate to lead and it should you know so to be a good

00:14:12.820 leader you know in all situations you've got to have your shit together as much as you're asking

00:14:17.880 other people to have theirs 100 man well i hope that helps let's get to question number two

00:14:22.960 uh andy i'm a 45 year old teacher who loves my work but after two decades i'm realizing i've neglected

00:14:33.000 my personal aspirations outside the classroom i used to dream of writing a novel but now it feels like

00:14:39.780 too much time has passed and i don't know if i still have it in me how do i reignite that passion

00:14:45.700 and give myself permission to dream again start the reason you still have this vision in this dream

00:14:53.920 in the back of your mind is because you never started it you never went out and chased it what

00:14:59.300 you're experiencing is what most people will experience at the end of their life about their entire

00:15:04.300 life all right it's a sense of regret it's a sense of missed opportunity it's a sense of oh i should

00:15:10.780 have or i could have but i didn't and there's going to be nothing worse than that at the end of your life

00:15:16.540 and i would say that you experiencing it now is a good thing rather than you figuring that out when

00:15:22.400 you're 80 now to the point of not having enough time we have 80 years basically on this earth

00:15:30.080 so you're not even barely halfway through your time so what are you talking about you don't have

00:15:36.860 time you don't have time to write a fucking novel bro like you could probably write 50 novels between

00:15:42.140 now and the time that you're going to have and you could be known as one of the greatest writers

00:15:45.740 that ever lived but you're too busy second guessing yourself thinking you don't have time telling

00:15:52.100 yourself all these bullshit excuses that aren't real and because you're doing that it's going to

00:15:58.140 ultimately create a situation where you're frustrated upset and regretful about your entire

00:16:03.220 existence so my advice to you would be to start most people can't do that most people can't start

00:16:10.660 so sit down pull out your computer open up fucking microsoft word and dance your fingers across the

00:16:18.320 keyboard and get whatever it is in your heart and your head down on paper and who knows what you're

00:16:22.820 going to create you might create the best one of the best literary pieces of all time you might

00:16:27.780 like i said you might be known you might have a whole different career but you're never going

00:16:32.420 to know that unless you go and that goes for anybody out there that has things they want to do

00:16:37.140 most people don't go and they don't chase their dreams because the people around them tell them

00:16:43.180 shit that just isn't true hey be realistic what do you think you're going to do become jk rowling

00:16:49.220 you had a great career you need to you know you need to be thankful don't forget where you came from

00:16:55.440 right we hear all this shit every day from a bunch of losers and it gets in our heart and our mind and

00:17:01.380 it causes us to hesitate so your goal here is to realize that we only have one existence we only

00:17:09.080 have one opportunity and you need to ask yourself what are you going to value at the end of your life

00:17:14.760 are you going to value the work that you did are you going to value the things that you created

00:17:19.700 or are you going to value doing what everybody else expected of you which isn't going to be that

00:17:24.980 okay i'm just going to give you a cliff notes it's not going to be the second thing it's going to be

00:17:29.100 the first thing all of our value as human beings come from what we contribute and what we create

00:17:35.120 not just in the world but also of ourselves right what do we build ourselves into what do we what do we

00:17:42.340 fix in ourselves what do we overcome you see we live in this victim society where everybody has a sad

00:17:48.760 story about what they couldn't do because of this circumstance but that's not the shit that's

00:17:54.480 going to fulfill us or make us proud or really make our lives matter at all what's going to matter is

00:18:00.080 what do we overcome what dream do we accomplish what dream do we chase and not accomplish and what do we

00:18:05.700 learn these are the things that are going to be important as we go who do we help with that who do we

00:18:12.200 teach from our failures how do we help them avoid the same mistakes we've had like these things are the

00:18:17.780 things that ultimately matter dude and uh at the end of the day you have to look yourself in the

00:18:23.400 mirror and say what am i proud of dude what am i what am i thankful that i actually did and you know

00:18:29.340 you're a teacher that's great you're probably helping people you're probably helping people

00:18:33.020 you know overcome and do all these things but what about you dude you know what i'm saying like what

00:18:37.840 is it that and there's no reason that you can't be a teacher and a writer some of the greatest

00:18:42.140 writers that ever wrote anything were teachers they were professors you know consequently some

00:18:48.460 of the worst too but uh you know you can make you be different yeah right right yeah bro yeah i want

00:18:55.340 to ask you this man and i don't know if you want to go into the story uh but i'm gonna say this and

00:19:00.880 you you you you make the decision here right but like you you had an experience where you you came

00:19:06.420 to this realization man that you were swimming against the the river yeah you know what i'm saying

00:19:11.440 and like you said i mean most people don't get that yeah ever yeah but like you gotta you gotta

00:19:16.300 like live in that purpose right so about that so uh so i ate a whole bunch of mushrooms i didn't

00:19:22.820 want to say yeah like an obscene amount all right and i'm not recommending that you young guys do that

00:19:28.100 uh i never did that until i was well into my 40s yeah and but here's the story okay uh at the time

00:19:35.060 i was really struggling with some some depression and some some hard mental struggles i was exhausted

00:19:42.660 all the time um at the time i was trying to sort of fly under the radar like i i had become pretty

00:19:52.720 well known uh especially in the speaking world and the entrepreneur world and i didn't like it i didn't

00:19:58.300 like people knowing everything about me um i was very uncomfortable with it uh i started to withdraw

00:20:05.000 from people and instead of feeling refreshed instead of feeling like oh this feels good it was the

00:20:12.480 opposite i felt exhausted i felt like i was drained all the time and um some of my buddies you know who

00:20:22.160 have gone through depression episodes or struggle with depression or ptsd uh long story short you know

00:20:30.100 they they sort of convinced me to try mushrooms because they had had good success with it in terms

00:20:36.140 of helping with that situation and i accidentally took like way too many like like way way too many

00:20:44.060 all right uh because i didn't know how to how to dose it outright and guys i'm not saying go do drugs

00:20:49.620 okay i know there's a lot of young people that listen here um and i'm not advocating for that

00:20:54.720 it's just something i was trying to see if it would help me uh and i ended up having this like super crazy

00:21:00.760 life-altering reflective vision uh actually like five or six of these visions but the first one that

00:21:09.840 i saw was me in a river and when you're having these these situations or these visions

00:21:18.380 on psychedelics like it's like it's not like you have to be convinced it's not like you have to

00:21:27.040 like when what you're seeing is sort of being downloaded into you and so you understand what

00:21:32.620 the vision means it's not up for it's not like when you're looking at a painting and you're like

00:21:36.840 what's that mean to you what's that mean to you like it's like getting downloaded into you and um

00:21:42.920 like this is what yes i knew exactly what it was telling me and so it showed me in a river

00:21:49.300 and i was swimming upstream okay and and and like dude i'm like exhausted like i'm barely able to do

00:21:58.120 it right and then it showed me swimming down the river and in the river there was all these rocks

00:22:03.860 okay and when it showed me swimming up the river the the current was pushing me into the rocks all right

00:22:09.820 but when i started swimming down the river it showed that i could swim around the rocks

00:22:13.440 and what it was telling me was hey bro you're here for a reason you're here to inspire people

00:22:19.300 you're here to help people you could guide yourself around the parts that you don't like but you need

00:22:24.180 to embrace your role in this world as someone that other people learn from uh you know basically i'm a

00:22:35.120 teacher is what it was saying and like bro and i'm gonna be well known for it and i can't fight

00:22:39.660 that aspect of it because it's inevitable and if i stop fighting it i will feel better and dude i

00:22:44.620 stopped fighting it guess what i felt better so and and i say all that to say this dude like

00:22:50.580 we have a purpose here we have a reason here i believe that and i believe that when we fight that

00:22:57.920 we feel bad and when we go with it we feel good and that's what that vision was showing me

00:23:02.940 um and i know i want to say this again dude like if you're 20 years old or 25 years old or even 30

00:23:11.040 this is not something that you should fuck around with because you don't even have the right perspective

00:23:15.340 to understand where you are in life to to develop a understanding of what you need to do so you have to have

00:23:27.260 past perspective to understand these things right otherwise it's just going to be some

00:23:31.740 hallucinating and you're going to be like holy shit and then you gotta shit yeah right yeah no

00:23:36.740 but but dude like i i just don't want to come across as like you know because i know there's so

00:23:41.700 many young people like dude this is something that i was looking at as an alternative to you know

00:23:47.060 antidepressants and things like that and um and and you know i that's what it saw so sometimes we

00:23:53.780 got to fucking just go with what it is we're supposed to do and i believe that we understand

00:23:59.260 who we're supposed to be and we know who we're supposed to be but most of us are afraid to let

00:24:06.280 that out most of us are afraid to become that badass version of ourselves that lives in our heart that

00:24:14.660 nobody knows about and we're too afraid to express because we think we're going to get laughed at and

00:24:20.260 that version of ourselves is actually what we're here to do and everybody runs and hides and is

00:24:25.400 afraid of it when in reality dude once you go for that your everything changes your entire life changes

00:24:31.700 the way you see yourself changes the way other people see you changes and your success in all areas

00:24:38.020 of life becomes more fulfilling uh you know and and you become proud of yourself in a completely

00:24:45.300 different way so yeah i mean it's just you know sometimes you know what you need to do you're just

00:24:51.540 afraid to do it and you got to fucking go yeah i love it man i love it guys andy let's do our third

00:24:57.940 and final question uh question number three um happy new year happy new year uh andy i'm taking major action

00:25:06.640 this year on changing the culture of our company as it is currently toxic um i have constant turnover

00:25:13.680 in my csr position um i know it's because of the culture my questions are two parts one how do you

00:25:20.420 transform the culture of a company when bad habits are in place i'm not tolerating the behavior i've been

00:25:25.840 accepting for so long now by standing firm and putting action behind my words by writing employees up

00:25:32.080 letting people go if they don't adopt new behaviors to work as a team but is there anything specific

00:25:37.400 that you would suggest and then uh the second question second part is what's the best advice

00:25:42.300 you can give on how to replicate myself i am drowning in the weeds and can't seem to find the person with

00:25:50.160 a work ethic to fit the standards i need for the job i know the interview process is everything so i've

00:25:56.060 been developing my interviewing skills but do you have any advice on that topic uh this show has been

00:26:01.040 on repeat as i've learned so much thank you god bless well look man um first off teaching culture

00:26:09.460 in your company that's like something that you would hire me to consult on okay and and just so you guys

00:26:15.460 know the mfceo project is launching we're going to tackle that uh in depth on that show many different

00:26:21.840 times i could do it i could do a week-long podcast 24 hours a day on how to do this so it's not something i

00:26:27.600 can answer in a 10 minute answer um but i will tell you this you need to get rid of all the cancer

00:26:34.280 okay when you get cancer in your body what do they do they cut it the fuck out and i'm going to tell

00:26:39.120 you this most of the people that you have that are expressing bad behavior bad attitude they're not

00:26:46.080 going to change and they're not going to go anywhere because they don't have any options to go

00:26:50.020 anywhere they're really they just don't have the skills they don't have the attitude they're going to

00:26:55.060 stick with you as long as possible because it's going to be hard for them to go somewhere else

00:26:59.740 they don't have the options great employees have lots of options shitty bad culture employees don't

00:27:05.320 so that's one thing you have to understand they're not going to go away without you getting rid of

00:27:09.560 them secondly those people are very likely not going to change no matter what so you have to

00:27:17.360 understand you're not going to take someone with a cancerous attitude poor work ethic low skill

00:27:23.280 and transform them into a superstore i know you think that that's what happens but it very rarely

00:27:29.320 happens what most of the time happens is that these people go from place to place to place to place

00:27:35.840 to place wrecking everybody's shit and then blaming the world for why they can't get anywhere and they

00:27:41.660 can't see that it's them all right and that's why the same situation or similar situation

00:27:47.340 happens to them over and over and over and over again and every job and every relationship and you

00:27:53.120 know it's a victim entitlement mentality right it's not me it's the world okay so that's a hard thing

00:27:59.520 to change you can't change it yeah it's it's a it's a character flaw in the human that very rarely

00:28:06.000 changes so just understand that you will beat your head against the wall and like dude the worst part is

00:28:11.960 is some of these people are highly likable some of these people are fun to be around but when they

00:28:17.480 get any sort of pressure or any sort of stress or any sort of um they're assigned any sort of project

00:28:23.280 or task or responsibility or duty that they don't like or they don't agree with the way it's done

00:28:28.840 they fuck your whole system up okay so you have to get rid of these people a hundred percent there's

00:28:35.280 no other option because i'm promise you bro you're not good enough to turn them around so understand that

00:28:41.000 uh secondly you have to stop accepting poor poor performance and poor behavior instantly um i would

00:28:51.200 highly recommend you having an all hands meeting where you lay down what's going to happen and what's

00:28:58.240 not going to happen and you have to mean it and when people violate it you have to fire them or remove

00:29:03.240 them writing up one of these people isn't going to you know change the situation but what will change

00:29:10.840 the situation is is if you call everybody in you say hey these are the rules this is what we're doing

00:29:14.760 this is what we're going to stand by here's the value system we're going to operate on and when one

00:29:19.960 of your best people who sells the most shit for your company uh violates that you fire them in front of

00:29:26.400 everybody and everybody knows you ain't fucking around oh shit yeah that's right they fired one of

00:29:32.160 our top performers because they were fucking cultural bad fit what's that tell everybody else

00:29:37.240 that tells everybody else that we better have our fucking uh you know our i's dotted our t's crossed

00:29:42.560 and we better come to work and and you know contribute have a good attitude develop high skill

00:29:47.880 and and be a contributing member of the company i'm not going to be here all right so that's a you

00:29:53.140 got to set a standard and stand on it uh which most people have a problem doing you're already

00:29:58.500 having a problem doing i'm writing them up writing them up i'm gonna do shit bro yeah like do you

00:30:02.600 stop high school man listen man do you stop speeding because you got a fucking ticket right

00:30:06.540 nobody does right all right so um we have to understand there's going to be some casualties

00:30:12.840 in this cultural realignment and then you know you have to be clear about what is expected and what

00:30:19.400 is going to be tolerated and how it's going to be enforced and you know what's going to happen when

00:30:24.900 we do the things we're supposed to do uh but dude ultimately man it's about consciously setting

00:30:32.240 what your company stands for with a with a clear message clear value system and holding that line

00:30:40.420 and that's what the culture is going to be and after you do that for so many years and by the way

00:30:45.040 it's going to take years but after you do that for so many years the culture will start living and

00:30:50.520 breathing on its own meaning you won't have to enforce it because it will be enforced by the peers

00:30:55.800 of these people right when when your good employees your good team members see what's going on with

00:31:03.040 someone who's who's a bad cultural fit they will just remove that person automatically so uh but

00:31:09.920 dude it's a lifetime commitment and you know the next thing is you got to live that system yourself

00:31:15.320 like if you don't live it it won't be absorbed right people don't do what you tell them to do

00:31:21.620 they do what you do and that's a hard concept for people to understand because just like there's

00:31:27.860 entitlement in the employees there's entitlement in the operators and the owners and and the decision

00:31:33.820 makers a lot of a lot of guys who you know they start their own business they get a couple employees

00:31:38.900 and they start thinking well fuck i'm the owner i can do this and i can do that and i can do this uh

00:31:44.280 and you know these are those things are things that you wouldn't allow your employees to do

00:31:48.080 and if that's something that you're doing you're going to halt the progress of your company right

00:31:54.560 there this is why so many companies they make a little bit of progress they get to a certain level

00:32:00.080 the owner's making a decent salary everybody else is eating shit and then the company goes backwards and

00:32:07.000 they can't understand right and the reason that it goes backwards is because you're nobody wants to

00:32:13.280 nobody wants to fucking carry all the water while you're out fucking off dude right they want you to

00:32:18.080 be there with them they want you to build the team and the truth of the matter is is most operators of

00:32:22.780 small businesses and most uh you know quote unquote ceos um they won't do the work right you know they

00:32:29.740 they want to hire people and dude you see this with these fucking idiots on the internet saying oh you're

00:32:35.580 the owner you don't like these guys coaching these other entrepreneurs who have never built a business

00:32:39.460 you could tell because the way they say shit oh you're the owner you shouldn't do that you should

00:32:43.180 just hire people to do that you know you should let them do all the work you don't have to do shit

00:32:47.680 and it's like oh well i could see why you're a fake entrepreneur coach because you're a fucking idiot

00:32:52.260 i want to clarify this too what you're saying is you can you can set all the standards you want

00:32:57.680 you can you can make them look nice in the lobby and all of that and you can fire as many people

00:33:02.260 that don't hold themselves to that but none of that shit will matter if you as the owner operator

00:33:05.920 is not are not holding this yeah and eventually yes 100 that's what i'm saying okay but eventually

00:33:12.040 you know when you've done it for 20 years and you've you know like for me i'm the chairman of

00:33:17.220 our board i'm not the fucking ceo anymore do i still come in here every day and bust ass yeah i do

00:33:22.800 because i want everybody to understand that we're all a part of the team we all got a shovel and we all

00:33:28.500 got a fucking dig and that's what the game is i like digging i like building i like creating i love

00:33:34.720 coming to work and doing things with awesome people i'm very blessed and fortunate to go to

00:33:38.960 war with some of the best motherfuckers on the planet and i want to be a part of that but i don't

00:33:43.060 have to and if i didn't show up here i don't think they would fucking stop because they understand that

00:33:47.400 i've put 26 years into this and quite honestly a lot of our people are like bro why don't you just

00:33:52.240 fucking yeah please go yeah like why don't you just go do some shit man like but see they don't

00:33:57.840 understand that i like doing this i love this because i love the people i do it with and i love the

00:34:03.580 mission that we're on and if you want to create an amazing culture you have to love the people that

00:34:08.300 you're doing it with and you have to take pride in their development and you have to want them to win

00:34:12.220 and you have to want to accomplish a mission with them and um you know most people aren't willing to do

00:34:19.340 that they have the wrong intent about their business this is like when you ask these people like

00:34:23.260 i can always tell when someone has the wrong intent because i ask them very simply what is the

00:34:28.300 purpose of a business and they will say to make money that's not the purpose of the business the

00:34:34.580 purpose of a business is to solve problems and you get money for solving those problems and so when you

00:34:40.620 understand that and you can operate inside that intent and that mentality here's what we exist for

00:34:47.980 these are the problems we're trying to solve here's our bigger mission and then you can come in and do

00:34:53.660 that with your team the culture is going to follow you but if you if you say hey we're going to change

00:34:59.540 the world and we're going to do all this shit and then you fucking disappear and go on your bass boat

00:35:03.920 you know like bro you're not going to do shit and not only that your company's going to fail

00:35:08.880 all the great people that have potential are going to leave okay which brings me to the second question

00:35:14.180 how do you replicate yourself well are you sure you even want to replicate yourself

00:35:18.920 are you what you want to replicate that's right oh shit that's right so first off you got to build

00:35:25.940 yourself into that what happens if you replicated someone who you know gave good lip service but

00:35:31.740 didn't do the real work who sounded good in front of people but actually didn't execute who says we're

00:35:37.220 going to do these things but then you know hides in the corner and lets everybody else do you don't

00:35:41.620 think that everybody fucking sees that everybody sees that bro have you ever been doing a job outside

00:35:47.220 and you got three or four people around and you could tell the motherfucker that's you know kind

00:35:51.640 of skating out of the work pretending to be busy carrying the trash away instead of digging the

00:35:56.760 fucking hole like you know we all see it dude and and they see it too and just because you're the owner

00:36:03.180 of the business doesn't mean they're fucking blind and stupid all right they see you coasting so are

00:36:08.300 you sure that you want to replicate that because the truth of the matter is is if you replicate that

00:36:13.740 your company's going to go out of business okay so the first thing is you need to make sure that

00:36:17.740 you're worth replicating you're doing all the things like we just said for 10 minutes all right that

00:36:23.640 you expect other people to do at a high level and if you are that and you do want to replicate that

00:36:30.120 the best way to replicate that is to look around see who has the potential see who has the hunger

00:36:37.500 see who has the drive who believes in the big vision and then spend as much time with them as

00:36:44.760 possible i'm talking about inside of work and outside of work okay because creating and replicating

00:36:51.560 yourself is not a 9 to 4 30 job all right it's a total cultural immersion and again most owners don't

00:37:00.880 want to do this they want to clock out and go the fuck home but dude i can tell you this all of my best

00:37:06.160 people in every single company i've ever owned i've spent massive amounts of time with inside and

00:37:12.840 outside the work and i consider those people some of my best friends in the world which creates a

00:37:18.480 better bond which creates a better culture anyway so you have to convert yourself in the mind from i own

00:37:28.000 this company to i'm responsible for these people's success okay and it's not i'm here to make money for

00:37:36.160 me it's i'm here to make sure that these guys make a great living and that these guys can provide for

00:37:45.060 their families and these guys can hit their goals because when you take your intent and you switch

00:37:50.100 it on to them guess what happens they reciprocate and they help build your dreams as well so it's

00:37:56.260 about putting the other people in front of you and then making sure that you follow through on those

00:38:01.820 on those promises and they will follow through on their obligation as well it's a law of reciprocity

00:38:06.580 uh but ultimately dude you know you got to become a coach you can't just be a quote-unquote boss at work

00:38:15.100 it's and i would i would highly recommend that you guys stop calling yourselves the boss and shit like

00:38:22.880 bro you're just a member of the team and your your your responsibilities are are no more important than

00:38:28.300 than these guys responsibilities it takes everybody row in the same direction and it takes humility

00:38:34.320 right like yeah you might be the ceo but what's the ceo's role the ceo's role is to make sure that we

00:38:41.320 don't drive the ship into a fucking iceberg and we actually get where we're trying to go and that

00:38:47.180 everybody else behind us is all rowing and they've got enough food and they've got enough water and

00:38:51.480 they've got enough they understand where they got to go and by the way when one of them gets sick

00:38:55.840 and can't row the right way guess who gets to row you okay so like it's just a it's just a different

00:39:01.940 kind of thinking that most people don't have because they're so engulfed in their own ego and

00:39:07.820 their own importance that they can't understand like bro you're just a part of the team you're you're

00:39:12.820 you're the fucking you're the coach calling the play to the quarterback and everybody's got an equal

00:39:18.380 responsibility to execute you know what i'm saying business is a team sport bro it really is and uh just

00:39:25.320 because you happen to be you know the owner of the team doesn't mean that you don't have a

00:39:30.840 responsibility to be a very important part of the team on a day-by-day basis if you want a great team

00:39:36.640 i love it yeah so it's it's dude it's you know to answer the second part of the question is very

00:39:41.820 simple make sure that you're worth replicating spend a lot of time with them mentor them teach them

00:39:47.380 be their you know their their uncle right or their big brother that helps them understand not just

00:39:53.680 how to execute in the office but also in life right and a lot of people just won't do that

00:40:00.180 i love it man i love it guys that's a hell of a way to start a monday man yeah guys all right look

00:40:05.800 we got a cti tomorrow i'll see you guys tomorrow

00:40:09.140 went from sleeping on the floor now my jury box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in the cold

00:40:16.680 bad bitch booted slow got her on bankroll can't fold just a no headshot case close

00:40:23.380 close

00:40:23.680 you

00:40:24.220 you

00:40:31.760 you

00:40:33.760 you

00:40:34.760 you

00:40:35.760 you

00:40:36.760 you

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REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 03, 2025

835. Q&AF： How To Have Direct Conversations, Reigniting Your Passion & Reshaping Business Culture

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