REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 845. Q&AF： Handling Distractions, How To Let Go & Reinvesting As A Business Owner

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.020 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today

00:00:27.060 as always we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now you

00:00:34.000 could submit your questions a few different ways the first way is guys email these questions in to

00:00:39.720 ask andy at andy for seller.com or you go on youtube on the q and a f episodes drop your

00:00:44.460 question in the comments and we will choose some from there as well now this is your first time

00:00:49.460 listening we have shows within the show all right today we're going to have q and a f that's so we

00:00:54.920 could start the week out get better get some good momentum but tomorrow we're going to have cti

00:01:00.280 that stands for cruise the internet that's where we put topics of the day up on the screen we speculate

00:01:05.380 on what's true and what's not true and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these

00:01:10.420 problems going on in the world sometimes we're going to have real talk real talk is just five

00:01:14.800 to twenty minutes of me giving you uh some real talk all right some might call it a rant but it's

00:01:20.300 all about making you better and then we have 75 hard versus if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is

00:01:26.940 the most famous mental toughness transformation program in history you can get it for free at

00:01:33.200 episode 208 on the audio feed only 208 audio feed only anywhere you can get a podcast now if you're

00:01:41.780 unfamiliar with 75 hard it's the initial phase of the live hard program which is also available in

00:01:47.740 its entirety at episode 208 on the audio audio feed uh there's also a book the book is called

00:01:54.300 the book on mental toughness you can get it andy for cella.com uh it's not required like i said the

00:01:59.420 entire program is free you get an episode 208 on the audio feed but the book is very very strong it

00:02:06.080 includes the entire live hard program up and down left and right all the nuts and bolts if you're

00:02:10.620 somebody who really likes to know the in-depth details of things like i am i'd highly recommend the book

00:02:17.000 it also has a ton of extra content on mental toughness what it is how to develop it and why

00:02:23.860 it's important to your life again that's at andy for cella.com it's called the book on mental toughness

00:02:29.420 uh we do things a little different here we don't run ads on the show okay uh and i ask very simply

00:02:35.000 because we are the biggest show in the world that does not run ads that you help us grow the show

00:02:39.180 all right uh the show makes you think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective if it teaches

00:02:44.100 you something please help us grow the show don't be a hoe share the show all right what's up dude

00:02:51.020 how's it going good how are you yeah man i'm all right uh hurting a little bit but yeah you've been

00:02:55.840 training again been training back on the wagon yeah what's up with that oh you know i i mean real

00:03:00.620 talk yeah real talk i mean tired of getting made fun of that's one yeah yeah madot madot's not very

00:03:05.840 nice and the internet internet's fine yeah um because i just talk shit back to them there's not much

00:03:10.600 i can do with my dot i know when you go home at night it hurts your feelings you cuddle up in the

00:03:14.820 bottom of the shower you know what i'm saying well no man honestly like really what it was i just know

00:03:20.360 that like this year bro we got a lot of shit going on this year a lot of a lot of shit to to really

00:03:25.440 like you know build and grow and develop and so it's like i gotta be at my best yeah that's just

00:03:30.120 real shit you know i'm saying so it's like you know i know i've been dibbling dabbling here and

00:03:33.780 there but i'm doing good man killed legs today good crushed it and uh you know keeping it moving

00:03:39.440 good maybe you'll be able to fit in some of that bison gear we're getting ready to release that'd

00:03:42.640 be nice on wednesday night that'd be nice yeah at seven o'clock you know i haven't been asked

00:03:47.300 i'd like that drop see that's not an ad that's just called talking about it by the way guys there

00:03:54.180 is a bison gear real american freedom gear drop this wednesday at 7 p.m we got some really really

00:04:01.300 really cool shit uh i would highly recommend being on the page at seven as we usually do sell out

00:04:06.900 pretty fast so uh again seven o'clock this wednesday new real american freedom gear drop

00:04:13.140 uh that dj is now going to be able to fit in yeah yeah i can fit in it now no man yeah no it's going

00:04:21.100 good though man how you doing good you all right yeah yeah good man i'm i'm i'm excited i'm also

00:04:27.760 excited about what we have going on this year i'm very very excited about the new mfceo project a lot

00:04:33.820 of people been asking about it and they think that i'm just releasing the old episodes is that

00:04:39.860 what really yeah some people think that guys the old episodes have always been available they're free

00:04:44.420 and they'll always be free yeah okay i always wanted to um provide a gateway for someone who's

00:04:50.280 starting out from scratch and you know can't afford to you know go out and join rt or whatever right

00:04:57.300 so they're always there they're always for free if you go all the way down in the real af audio feed

00:05:04.140 this is before we were on youtube uh you will find the mfceo project which was the most popular

00:05:10.680 entrepreneur podcast uh in the world when we were doing it so uh and it was number one in all shows

00:05:18.000 for a long time not just business so uh if you want to you go listen to that now but the new mfceo is

00:05:24.280 not the old mfceo it is completely different all right one of the biggest differences is is that a

00:05:30.940 lot of people who have come up i guess since then started listening to the mfceo and now own you know

00:05:39.120 seven eight nine figure companies and they're going to be coming on the show and talking about how they

00:05:44.800 use the principles which principles they used to build the companies that they've built so a lot

00:05:50.700 of you young bucks in business can see and hear and understand that these things work another thing

00:05:56.680 that we're going to be doing is having some of my most successful friends come in and talk about how

00:06:01.520 they do things so this isn't like typical internet fucking coach shit this is real people who have done

00:06:08.180 real things outside of just creating a coaching business um that are going to teach you how to win

00:06:15.080 and it's never been more important that you guys go out and win than it is right now we have a big

00:06:20.760 problem in our culture where winning has been villainized winning has been attacked it has been

00:06:26.000 looked down upon and the fact of the matter is that's all about societal control and we have to

00:06:32.200 understand that if we want to be truly free and we want to live in the greatest society that we can

00:06:37.120 we have a duty to be the best that we can in all areas and that includes being successful

00:06:43.840 it's not just about driving a bugatti or driving a ferrari and living in a nice house i'll be the

00:06:49.440 first one to admit that's badass shit i love it but it's actually about us as individuals

00:06:57.300 understanding that we have to be the example we have to extract every single ounce of potential

00:07:06.040 out of our lives um and not just for us and our families but for everybody else around us in the

00:07:12.100 community so i am very excited uh we've been recording shows for quite some time and i'm very

00:07:18.300 excited to get that launch bro like it's going to be i since we've been recording the shows

00:07:23.720 i've started to realize how much i enjoy talking about success business entrepreneurship personal

00:07:31.040 development um and really helping people get the ball rolling in that direction you know i'm saying

00:07:37.620 yeah i know there's a lot of people hungry for it yeah bro and i i think you know with the

00:07:41.580 emergence the last few years of the uh entire community of fucktards uh that have come out of

00:07:49.920 nowhere to sell programs when they haven't done anything ever uh somebody has to come out and teach

00:07:57.100 people what it really looks like who's actually done yes so that's real man i'm excited about it uh it's

00:08:02.660 going to be it's going to be awesome um and that's going to be launching in the next couple weeks so if

00:08:08.480 you are interested in a new mfceo project like a lot of you guys are uh first off we are going to

00:08:14.720 continue real af the exact same way that we've been doing it so it's not going away and secondly

00:08:20.020 for you to know when the mfceo project drops you have to go to my website and get on the andy

00:08:26.800 gram email list okay uh just go in there sign up for the andy gram it's a daily post that we write

00:08:33.040 you come in it's a little inspiration a little personal development little little life advice

00:08:37.280 that we do every morning comes right to your computer we don't spam you we don't fucking

00:08:42.400 send you 75 emails a day i don't fucking pitch you on a bunch of shit i hate that shit too but if you

00:08:48.460 want to be aware of when this happens you need to go register for the email because um that's the

00:08:56.100 only way we're going to talk about i'm not going to be pumping it here on the show i'm not going to

00:08:59.440 be talking about it on my social i'm just going to put it out there and you guys are going to do with

00:09:03.340 it what you want yeah hell yeah man hell yeah well guys it is monday yeah let's make some people

00:09:09.420 better today let's do it guys andy i got three good ones for you so let's knock these out um guys

00:09:15.260 any question number one andy i appreciate all you do i know you have probably heard that a thousand

00:09:21.720 times by now but i really do um i found your content like a year and a half ago and it's

00:09:26.440 amazing i have a question for you about distractions i'm 24 just finished up law school i have no idea

00:09:34.540 how but nevertheless i'm entering the real world and i feel like everything around me is nothing but

00:09:40.760 distractions how did you handle and view distractions early on in life versus how you handle and view them

00:09:47.760 now distractions i mean we just talked about having a lot of shit going on a lot of noise out

00:09:52.400 there well first of all what do you mean you don't know how you got through law school you showed up

00:09:57.500 you did the work and now you got through it just like you're going to do anything in life okay so

00:10:03.720 don't take away the achievements by trying to pretend like you're a lot of you guys fuck yourselves

00:10:10.100 because you talk bad about yourselves and you say i don't know how i did that but i got through it

00:10:14.800 listen dude every time you say negative things about yourself every time you uh you know subtract

00:10:23.700 from what your actual achievements are you are taking away your own belief in yourself there is

00:10:30.180 nothing wrong with saying hey i just got through law school i graduated was tough but i got through it

00:10:35.140 and i did a good job acknowledge that bro that's a hard thing a lot of people can't do that you should

00:10:41.240 be happy about that don't act like oh i don't know how you know exactly how you showed up you did the

00:10:45.700 work and now you're fucking done with it and now you're ready to do something else so i i gotta

00:10:49.480 address that right up that's right a lot of you fuckers you buy into this humble bullshit and you

00:10:55.420 take away every bit of confidence and self-belief because you downplay your actual achievements and of

00:11:02.040 course there's people that overplay their achievements but it's usually losers that do that okay you're

00:11:08.180 winning acknowledge that you're winning acknowledge what you did to win and keep doing that i hate when

00:11:14.180 people talk bad about themselves that's real bro i couldn't get through fucking law school you know

00:11:18.800 i'm saying like that's a massive fucking achievement dude i'm i just don't do that yeah it's bad for

00:11:24.560 you well people think it's everybody else is going to take your confidence away bro no it's you

00:11:28.800 that's it dude you are the one that takes away that shit because society programs all of us

00:11:35.220 to uh be self-deprecating and fucking overly humble and take away our achievements and act

00:11:41.800 like we're not dude no you're a badass motherfucker you just got through law school that's fucking

00:11:47.980 awesome congratulations by the way i'd give you a fucking hug if you were right here okay so

00:11:53.380 that that's first that's first now how do we handle distractions all right look man

00:12:00.660 we're always going to have things that are outside of what we are pursuing in our professional life

00:12:11.560 not all of those things are distractions some of them are just life okay so we have to determine

00:12:18.600 what is a distraction and what isn't a distraction for example having a significant other in a relationship

00:12:26.560 can be a distraction or it can be something that benefits you if you have the right partner

00:12:33.480 a lot of people will say i can't have a significant other or i can't go play sports or i can't do this

00:12:41.380 because that's one minute away from my goals well listen dude if you are that concerned about living

00:12:48.980 your life and it takes away from this thing that you're doing what will happen is first of all you will

00:12:55.880 burn out and you will get tired second of all you don't need to live a draconian life in order to be

00:13:02.460 successful third of all you're going to miss out on a bunch of things uh and fourth of all it's

00:13:08.780 completely unnecessary all right we just have to determine if it is or isn't taking away from

00:13:15.160 productive action so the actual way to deal with distractions is to understand if it's a distraction

00:13:22.660 or a benefit just because something's in your life doesn't mean that it's a distraction so you need

00:13:28.820 to work to eliminate the things that are pulling you back or pulling you away or you know keeping

00:13:36.200 you from doing what you want to do and the things that are propelling you forward okay you need to have

00:13:42.480 as many of those things as you can outside of what it is you're trying to do and you need to have

00:13:47.720 the least amount of things that hold you back all right and a lot of people think that everything

00:13:52.660 holds them back it's just not true a lot of things you'll have will push you forward so you handle it

00:13:59.860 the true answer to this is you handle it by being productive with the time that you have all right and it's

00:14:07.400 not just about time no one cares how much time you put in no one cares how busy you are no one cares

00:14:16.360 about anything other than the result that you produce and if that result takes five minutes

00:14:23.180 it takes five minutes if it takes five days it takes five days if it takes five months it takes

00:14:29.740 five months but if all three of those people are doing the exact same thing the dude that gets it

00:14:35.260 done in five minutes gonna get paid the most all right so how productive are you being how focused

00:14:41.660 are you i have developed a tool that i have used for 20 plus years that solves this problem for us

00:14:49.660 it's called the power list you can get it for free at episode 16 on the audio feed what it does

00:14:57.780 is it allows you and shows you how to break down critical tasks that move you forward and it doesn't

00:15:05.660 talk about how much time you're gonna have to put in the time is irrelevant so if you can become

00:15:12.000 effective you have five critical tasks per day that you need to cross off okay and then the rest of the

00:15:19.240 time is yours to fill with distractions or fill with entertainment or go live a life this idea that

00:15:26.260 is put through by all these fake ass motherfuckers that you have to work 50 hours in a 24-hour day is a lie

00:15:33.680 that that's how you know they haven't done anything because no one can do that all right so it's not

00:15:41.400 about how much time you have it's about how productive you are and what result you produce

00:15:45.400 and a lot of people have problems differentiating those two concepts because they grew up in a regular

00:15:52.840 job and they come from regular you know i work for someone they pay me to do shit and they have trouble

00:15:59.920 converting because they're so used to thinking about this i'm getting paid for my time i'm getting

00:16:04.120 paid for my time poor people get paid for their time successful people get paid for their skill

00:16:09.700 okay so how do you use your skill to be as effective as possible as fast as possible

00:16:19.300 so that you can get paid the most money and have the most free time well you create a systematic

00:16:25.300 framework that outlines the critical tasks that you need to do you do them every day you realize

00:16:30.420 that there's only so many things that you need to do in a day to get forward and then you have the

00:16:36.000 rest of the time to do whatever you want and that's how i live my life if i get done with my critical task

00:16:41.780 by 10 a.m i can do whatever i want the rest of the day if it takes me till 10 p.m i'm working on that

00:16:46.940 it just depends on what the task is so there there's that but ultimately dude look the truth

00:16:54.900 of the matter is i had a really good time growing my business okay i i worked very hard but i also

00:17:02.800 enjoyed things and some of those things would be called distractions but those same things that are

00:17:08.360 called distractions are now great memories that i have of my younger years so i wouldn't trade those

00:17:14.220 things you see what i'm saying so we have to understand dude this grind grind grind grind grind

00:17:19.760 grind grind mentality yeah it's true but the more effective you are and the higher skilled you are

00:17:25.920 the less time you have to put in the more life you get to live okay so i would encourage you to reframe

00:17:31.760 how you think from time to effectiveness and now you're an attorney you bill for your time

00:17:37.740 but but we all know what the fuck you guys do you get you go in your computer you pull out your

00:17:43.580 little sheet that you send to everybody and then you say that sheet would have cost would have taken

00:17:48.540 10 hours to make and then you bill them 10 hours yeah right so you know we always change a couple

00:17:53.060 of names in there a couple words that's how it works bro these guys don't have anybody fool

00:17:56.340 but that's that's the bottom line dude like eliminating distractions you know if you ask most

00:18:02.740 of these people out here well i'll go in a dark room and i meditate for 75 minutes and i'll put a

00:18:10.100 eye mask on and then i'll dunk my face in cold water they have all this shit bro listen dude

00:18:15.460 you don't have to worry about being distracted if you're fucking effective you don't have to if

00:18:20.260 you're working yeah so the answer is build your skill set be more effective get shit done quickly

00:18:26.240 and the more time you have to do what you want you go to the cardinals game you fucking you know

00:18:30.500 go on vacation you can fuck off on the internet it doesn't matter because you got your five things done

00:18:36.300 and five critical tasks done per day will get you where you want to go yeah most people don't get

00:18:41.520 any done yeah that's real shit i want to i want to dive a little bit more deeper into this this

00:18:45.540 concept you brought up about just differentiating what is an actual distraction and what's life and

00:18:50.880 what's just something that will benefit for example like the the relationship thing yeah okay

00:18:55.880 we've all been in relationships that were a distraction you know women who for us guys i'm just

00:19:04.560 going to speak for i'm gonna speak as a man sure i've been in relationships before where when i was

00:19:10.780 broke i was yelled at for not having any money okay in the same relationship when i got busy to try to

00:19:16.960 make money i was yelled at for not having any fucking time so as a man there really is no win with a

00:19:24.740 female like that yeah so you have to find friends and partners and people that are going to help push

00:19:31.340 you forward and understand what you're trying to do not try to be selfish with your time and take

00:19:36.460 away they have to have the long-term vision and so we have to understand that the same thing that

00:19:43.880 could be a distraction for you could be a benefit for me if i had the right partner that's just using

00:19:50.360 partners you see what i'm saying so many things are like that like many things like

00:19:55.800 uh a friend group oh let's yeah for sure a friend group friend group you know i would i guess my

00:20:04.760 question was it's like you know because i feel like there's a fine line here you got to be careful

00:20:09.600 with of like okay like i got my five things done but i could also be doing stuff in the off time

00:20:14.300 that will wipe out all of that progress of those five things so i think like i guess what i'm asking

00:20:20.020 is like does this really come down to to like the discipline level you have as a person going on this

00:20:25.720 this journey because i i mean i think discipline's a different topic than what we're talking about

00:20:30.280 here um this is this yeah maybe i mean maybe it's the discipline here of of staying true to your

00:20:38.720 mission and not allowing people to be distractions but you know everybody goes through this dude

00:20:44.520 everybody goes through this phase when they start out and everybody in their family and everybody in

00:20:50.000 their friends and everybody they know is like what are you what are you doing what what do you mean

00:20:54.420 you're doing what do you mean you're going to start a vitamin store what do you what do you mean

00:20:57.900 you're gonna sell fucking vitamins yeah well you're not going to get a real job like like

00:21:03.380 what are you what are you talking about that doesn't even make sense oh you're going to build a

00:21:07.500 brand you're you're what are you you're going to build a you're going to build a world-class

00:21:11.660 nutrition supplement brand lifestyle high performance lifestyle brand you're going to build that

00:21:15.360 from st louis were you who the fuck you think you are okay like dude you think i haven't heard

00:21:21.940 all this shit i replace those people

00:21:25.140 with other people who say bro that's fucking awesome how are we going to do that how how can

00:21:33.860 i help you know what i think dude what if you did it like this what if you did it like that

00:21:38.640 you know i i don't know much about it but i was thinking i was in the store and i saw this what do

00:21:43.480 you think okay even if it's not valuable it's the intent because they want you to fucking win

00:21:49.880 so you only have so much energy in a day and if you spend a any part of your energy and this is

00:21:56.100 the truth here i i we talked about you know you don't have to spend 50 hours and 24 but you do have

00:22:01.760 to account and allocate your energy properly and if you spend one fucking unit of energy when i say

00:22:08.200 one unit i'm just going to say okay we all have a hundred units of energy in a day that we can use

00:22:12.400 right we all have when we fill the gas tank it's at a hundred we get to choose how we spend that

00:22:20.740 energy and if we spend any of that energy on things that pull us backwards we will lose to people who

00:22:29.380 have understood that they needed to replace distractions with things that propel them forward

00:22:35.220 so if you have equal skill set okay and and and you probably don't you're probably behind in skill

00:22:42.080 set and you're also spending your energy dealing with a nagging girlfriend or a shit bum boyfriend

00:22:48.640 or a family that fucking doesn't believe in you or anything and you're spending your energy over

00:22:54.940 there and you have equal skill and this guy has figured out to put things in his life to propel

00:22:59.080 him forward he's going to destroy you it's not you cannot be that good you're not that good

00:23:04.800 so we have to understand there are people that are as good as us and better than us

00:23:12.360 who allocate their energy properly and that's a real thing i won't you don't have to work 24 hours

00:23:19.840 or a day but you do have to allocate your energy properly one thing i know for sure from all of my

00:23:26.220 friends i don't hang out with anybody not because i'm better than anybody but all my friends are

00:23:32.140 successful all of them do that right none of them none of them have a relationship or friends or

00:23:40.020 distractions or things that pull them away from what they're trying to do they all have people

00:23:47.420 that contribute so i love it you have to be aware of that energy expenditure um i would say more than

00:23:54.940 anything and learn to replace things in your life that are a distraction with things that push you

00:24:01.040 forward and that that takes that that's hard that's a hard thing to do it's hard because you've been

00:24:06.300 friends with people for a long time or you've been in a relationship for a long time yeah but i love

00:24:12.080 them yeah bro listen just because you've been in a relationship for a long time doesn't mean it's the

00:24:16.100 right relationship oh man you know so like the we we have to we have to equip ourselves

00:24:26.700 with things that are going to push us forward and we have to remove the things that aren't i did a

00:24:31.860 podcast on this on msceo years and years and years ago uh anchors and propellers in a boat okay i can't

00:24:39.520 remember what number that was you guys will find it here real quick yeah uh but it basically describes

00:24:45.960 that we're all in a boat okay and there's 10 of us and you're either rowing or you're fucking

00:24:51.280 holding us back and throwing anchors in the water that's it and you got to remove the people that

00:24:55.080 throw the anchors in the water and replace some people that row episode 150 on the msceo project

00:25:00.880 that's at the bottom past real af episode one go to 150 on msco project and uh we talk about this

00:25:07.800 concept directly i love it man i love it guys any question number two uh andy i had a falling out

00:25:14.660 with a close friend two years ago and while i've tried to move on i still find myself feeling hurt

00:25:20.020 and angry when i think about what happened i know holding on to these feelings isn't healthy but i

00:25:25.220 don't know how to let go and truly forgive how can i release resentment and find peace with with 2025

00:25:32.120 here now i want to get through this how do you how do you really let go of those anchors you had to let

00:25:37.500 go i gotta go you just have to value yourself more than that you got to value yourself more than

00:25:44.020 that like why would you why would you keep someone in your life that you know shouldn't be there

00:25:50.180 regardless of how long you've known them or how what you did or what memories you have

00:25:54.740 entrepreneurship is a different thing dude success is a different thing you don't get all the things

00:26:01.260 everybody else gets but you do get things they don't get okay so there's a trade and while a

00:26:08.420 regular person who maybe isn't highly ambitious they they can deal with relationships in their life

00:26:14.620 that don't push them forward because they're obligated to in their mind right i'm related to

00:26:19.720 this person or i've known this person since kindergarten and a lot of people would say that's

00:26:23.700 being a good person i don't think that has anything to do with being a good person i think being a good

00:26:28.340 person is you taking care of yourself making sure you become the best person knowing that when

00:26:32.940 you're the best person other people improve too that's being a great person so uh you know when

00:26:39.480 we think about letting go um you know i i understand when you're younger it's hard i don't know how old

00:26:48.000 this person is um but when you get older you just care less and less about that shit and you

00:26:53.840 just kind of accept reality for what it is uh i i personally i really people are gonna think i'm a

00:27:01.300 fucking fuck for saying this but like i really don't give a fuck like if you don't want to be here

00:27:07.100 if you're not about what i'm about if you're not trying to win if you're not trying to be better if

00:27:11.660 you're not trying to improve if you're not trying to kick ass and you don't want to be my friend

00:27:16.920 i don't care like at all you know i'm saying so like i don't know why and i'm trying to like

00:27:25.040 empathize with this question and think about like how i was when i was younger and i think when i was

00:27:31.920 younger i felt rejected by these things and because i had less confidence and i had less belief and i

00:27:39.680 hadn't accomplished as much and i didn't believe in myself the way that i should and um i think when

00:27:46.860 you're in that state you know relationships can hurt a little bit more when when you feel rejected

00:27:52.180 or wronged or whatever uh but dude the best way to get to a point where that shit doesn't bother you

00:27:59.600 is to win and it's to believe in yourself and it's to build yourself into what you should be um this is

00:28:05.760 a big benefit of 75 hard and live hard because once you get everything on tune and once you understand

00:28:11.600 that you are in control of of most of the things that matter in your life and you're not just

00:28:16.800 drifting through it sort of changes your perspective on everybody else um for for better or worse uh the

00:28:24.480 people who don't belong in your life it becomes very clear and the people who do belong in your life

00:28:29.040 that becomes very clear and so and i think i think you develop enough confidence and self-belief

00:28:35.340 through that program to where you don't mind if people don't want you you know what i'm saying

00:28:41.300 like i look back at the times i was rejected or the times i had uh relationships or friendships fall

00:28:47.260 apart and i'm just being completely fucking honest it was a blessing every time every time and no

00:28:53.540 disrespect to anybody that's listening but just being real dude like my life got significantly better

00:29:00.500 every single time one of those things happened and while i might have been sad

00:29:05.600 and it may have bothered me if i think back to the times where it bothered me for a long time

00:29:13.280 it was because i wasn't winning it was because i wasn't at my potential and i didn't believe in myself

00:29:18.420 the way i should and i felt like oh well you know i just felt like i wasn't good enough and it's because

00:29:26.320 i wasn't and i think the other thing that you can do is uh you can use it as fuel you know one of the

00:29:32.320 biggest drivers of my life has been these situations it's been people my friends that didn't believe in

00:29:37.560 me you guys hear me talk about it all the things i just said a minute ago those came from people that

00:29:42.520 were quote unquote my friends you knew yeah i knew them personally well what do you what do you

00:29:46.900 think you're gonna do like i'm gonna win bitch that's what the fuck i'm gonna do okay and you're gonna

00:29:52.800 be the same and i'm gonna win and that's that and so when we think about you know these times of

00:30:01.240 rejection and these times of disbelief and these times of doubt and these times of falling out

00:30:06.280 that's massive amounts of fuel for you to go do what you want to do and i know we live in this feel

00:30:13.100 good society where everybody wants to say well don't worry about what they say well listen if you

00:30:19.100 don't worry about what they say you're missing out on 50 of the available fuel and it takes 100

00:30:24.900 of the available fuel to get where you want to go and every single motherfucker i know that's built

00:30:29.740 anything relevant that is highly successful whether they talk about it in public or not if you get them

00:30:34.980 in private and you get a cup of fucking whiskeys in them they'll tell you everybody they hate they

00:30:39.860 know their names they know where they live they know what they're doing and they'll say fuck that

00:30:43.420 motherfucker i'm winning and they're proud of it and i'm talking about all the all the spiritual gurus

00:30:51.840 feel good all of them i know i'm all motherfucker and all of them have this dark side in them that

00:30:57.420 wants to smash fucking faces and that comes from rejection it comes from doubt it comes from people

00:31:03.440 breaking up with you it comes from people saying ignorant shit not believing in you these are things

00:31:08.840 that you can use by simply saying fuck them and going and doing it yeah you know so you have to

00:31:16.060 become one of these people that can absorb the negativity and then not dwell on it but then turn

00:31:23.120 and do productive things in terms of taking action to move forward i think that that has been one of

00:31:30.940 them for me that has been one of the most powerful fuel sources that i've ever had i when

00:31:38.660 people believe in me and people fucking like and i'm and they're like oh yeah you're great dude

00:31:44.580 that doesn't motivate me you know what motivates me is a motherfucker saying bro you haven't done

00:31:49.460 shit yeah and that gets harder and harder to do and so as you progress you have to find different

00:31:55.900 ways to fuel yourself and like for me i replaced because a lot i mean dude look you know i don't have

00:32:02.620 a lot of people anymore they're like oh you'll never do that like i get the opposite oh you're so

00:32:06.800 you've done so well so i have to use that as fuel because now i'm like no i actually haven't done

00:32:12.820 anything i'm gonna do this and this and this okay and and and then i think about the purpose

00:32:18.960 and who's who i'm responsible for and the change i'm trying to make right like the ms ceo project the

00:32:26.020 reason i'm bringing it back isn't for any other reason that i realized that we have to change

00:32:30.660 the culture of ambition and winning in society especially in the youth and that's what i want to do

00:32:35.840 it's not you know uh i want to prove people wrong about how much i know now now it's a bigger mission

00:32:43.040 right like when i come in to my companies it's not how much more money can i make it's what are we

00:32:50.640 trying to do how are we trying to change things what kind of result are we trying to create what's

00:32:58.400 this going to mean for my team all of these things are bigger missions than just being wanting to

00:33:04.280 prove people wrong so as you progress through the path of entrepreneurship you're going to find

00:33:11.020 yourself motivated and driven by different things in the beginning you know it's usually like material

00:33:17.560 ambition i want car i want house i want a big fat bank account then when you set out to do it you get

00:33:23.340 a bunch of people that doubt you tell you you can't ask you why you're doing it try to talk you out of

00:33:30.100 it and then you get pissed okay so you start using that for fuel then if you're good and you're

00:33:36.580 dedicated you end up finding yourself in a place where you're doing okay so i'm not getting the

00:33:42.180 hate i'm not getting the disbelief i'm not getting the doubt i'm not getting the fuel that i was getting

00:33:46.480 so i have to adjust how i attack because i'm not operating on that fuel anymore and that is where you

00:33:53.060 finally get to a point where it's no longer anger or frustration or hate or dark side energy and you

00:33:59.840 move into a positive energy which is these are the people i care about i'm responsible for these people

00:34:05.760 this is the mission we're on this is what we're trying to do and it becomes we're trying to build

00:34:12.600 rather than prove anything so there's phases to it yeah and uh in the beginning dude if you try to

00:34:20.520 operate without that dark side energy you're probably going to get stomped on by people who

00:34:24.720 know how to harness it properly because we only have like we talked about 100 units of energy

00:34:29.700 and let's just say half of it comes from the mission positive what i want to do prove people

00:34:34.620 right i believe in myself and the other half comes from fuck you motherfucker i'll show you exactly what

00:34:39.880 the fuck i'm going to do and when i walk in and i see you 10 years from now you're going to be

00:34:43.200 embarrassed you didn't fucking believe in me those two things have to be used for all of us the

00:34:48.000 regular people who don't have a billion dollars worth of fucking funding for our companies

00:34:53.080 that's how we got to do it yeah yeah it's a safe to say you wouldn't be where you at if you didn't

00:34:57.880 use that negative i love when people fucking hate me i love when people talk shit i love it's rare now

00:35:03.480 but it happens still it still does and i don't care i don't care i don't care who it comes from

00:35:08.020 because i love it so much i take it from anybody like the worst thing you could do to me like if you're

00:35:13.760 competing with me is talk shit or hate on me or tell me that you won't because i will stomp your

00:35:17.660 fucking face into the dirt i will go i will go back to sleeping on a piss stained mattress in my

00:35:24.160 first retail store to beat you you won't do that you're not going to give up your comfortable life

00:35:29.420 you're not going to give up your fucking five series bmw to go back i fucking give up everything

00:35:34.560 bro don't fuck with me i'll stomp your fucking face you're better off just leave me to fuck alone

00:35:39.840 send some good wishes that's right don't say shit just leave me alone that's why you should

00:35:44.560 never fuck with competitors bro especially ones who are accomplished because there's a good chance

00:35:48.960 that those motherfuckers are some badass dark driven motherfuckers and when you fuck with them bro

00:35:55.380 they'll go to the ends of the earth to fucking ruin you not ruin you like burn your house down ruin you

00:35:59.980 but win so big that you feel like a dumbass yeah that's real shit man that's real guys any question

00:36:06.540 number three let's get our final question here andy i got a business question for you uh question

00:36:11.640 number three andy i'm four years into my business i do landscaping from design to build outs to

00:36:18.200 maintenance i have 12 employees and we are doing really well i've been able to pivot during the

00:36:23.260 off seasons to keep my guys paid and working now we are getting back into the work with spring around

00:36:28.560 the corner and my question is about reinvesting into the company as the owner uh where do owners

00:36:35.920 mess up with this concept and what's the right way to go about it reinvest in the business how do you do

00:36:41.400 it um where do owners mess up they mess up by taking money for themselves far too soon and if you want to

00:36:48.880 know the truth you should keep all the money in the company every single dollar that you make for as long

00:36:55.560 as you possibly can and then when you do start getting paid you should pay yourself the minimum

00:37:00.940 of what it takes to cover your living expenses and let everything else compound scale and that is the

00:37:07.080 fastest way to build a large company that will provide for you now most people don't do that because

00:37:13.720 the first time they can make 200 grand or 400 grand they're fucking they're so hungry that they want to

00:37:20.280 take it uh i was no different by the way and i could tell you this if i had delayed just a little

00:37:27.440 bit in terms of getting paid it would have exponentially scaled me faster so this is something

00:37:34.380 that i think we all make mistakes on yeah um so if i were if i were doing it today i and i was in my

00:37:43.920 20s and i was i was young even if i'm in my 30s and you're young or 40s and you're young and you're just

00:37:49.280 starting i would keep as much in the company as i possibly can for as long as i can possibly do it

00:37:59.240 and i would live in a way that was way less than what i could have what i really could afford for as

00:38:07.100 long as i was comfortable doing that and people will say well winter when when is the right time

00:38:11.940 yeah it just depends on what you want bro depends on how big you want to build something okay some people

00:38:16.940 are happy you know uh with um just having a half a million dollar house you know they want that's

00:38:25.280 that's success to a lot of people you know driving a denali is success to a lot of people but some people

00:38:31.260 that's their fucking roof so they're gonna have to do this probably for way less time than somebody

00:38:37.640 who wants to build the greatest american iconic company in the world which is what i want to do

00:38:42.600 yeah okay so there's scales to it and um we just have to determine what it is we want

00:38:48.420 and uh and then we also have to consider you know life you know what i'm saying like life the time

00:38:56.460 goes i mean it goes by and there's a thing called quality of life you know a lot of people will say

00:39:01.840 don't ever make emotional decisions about money i would say that's 90 true but there's things that

00:39:07.940 you could overpay for because they're important to you like the house you live in okay like maybe

00:39:13.620 uh you know this is your dream house and it costs you a little bit extra that you to live there

00:39:18.420 well that's okay if you know that and you understand you're making an emotional decision for the quality

00:39:25.580 for your trade-off of quality of life yeah so now that's a whole different topic it really is because

00:39:33.880 i don't want people to get the wrong idea but we have to understand that if you want to be as

00:39:40.220 successful as possible then you live below your means for as long as possible and reinvest for as

00:39:46.460 long as possible and that that's what that's and the less you do that the less successful you're

00:39:50.640 probably likely to be um and then you know like i said along the lines when you make a logical versus

00:39:57.380 emotional decision you you should be very aware which decision you're making okay like you you don't

00:40:03.500 need a fucking escalade now do you want an escalade okay well all right you want it you don't need it

00:40:11.700 you understand yeah and it's okay to make want decisions as long as you can afford it and it's

00:40:17.360 not putting you behind the eight ball and it's not crushing your finances um you know there's people

00:40:22.840 there's people that will deny that like you know ramsey it's a logical decision yeah ramsey ran if you

00:40:29.840 listen to ramsey which by the way i got tons of respect for for dave um you know he'll say don't

00:40:35.160 ever do don't ever do that yeah okay well what if what if you die and you never got to do you never

00:40:41.240 got to taste any of the fucking you know what i'm saying yeah so we have to understand

00:40:44.660 to answer the question very simply

00:40:48.480 keep as much money in your business for as long as possible live

00:40:53.620 very spartan for as long as possible and let the business compound that's that's the fastest way

00:41:00.500 to grow a business yeah when should you spend money on yourself in the early days only when needed when

00:41:07.860 you're a decade in and you want to buy a fucking bmw and it doesn't mean shit if you buy it who gives a

00:41:13.880 fuck yeah you know what i'm saying these things a house a car a lifestyle should not put you in some

00:41:21.580 sort of bind financially at all and your goal in business is to build a machine that works

00:41:27.680 at scale and that takes time and it takes money and so if you want to do it fast you put everything

00:41:33.480 you got into it yeah okay can we can we talk about some real numbers here like for you what

00:41:37.360 what did that look like for you early on in business how long did you go before you took anything

00:41:41.980 out well the first three years i made zero dollars like zero we didn't we worked other jobs

00:41:48.960 and we lived in the store on and off and then also uh some shitty apartments like four hundred

00:41:55.000 dollar a month three dudes living in it right sounds great yeah no for real dude and uh and then

00:42:03.460 the next seven years i made six hundred and ninety five dollars a month post tax for a grand total of

00:42:12.240 my first 10 years of fifty eight thousand three hundred eighty dollars for my first 10 years in

00:42:17.420 business that i could have made more money working at mcdonald's okay but that time set the framework

00:42:24.020 for what you see today all right so that was the foundation of everything we've used to scale out

00:42:31.200 uh my 10th year or 11th year i made 180 000 you're 30 by this time right like that would make you

00:42:40.720 yeah there's a lot of there yeah i mean it's just yeah i was i was 30 uh 29 20 28 or 29 um

00:42:48.260 made 180 grand the next year i made over a million bucks and i haven't made less than seven figures

00:42:55.760 ever since then so but i wouldn't have made that seven figures ever if that first 10 years i had been

00:43:02.520 taking money out to go fucking drive a five series beamer or some bullshit so so this is an important

00:43:09.080 distinction and what you were taking home the 795 that wasn't what you were taking home because

00:43:12.820 that's all you could you're saying you could have taken correct correct correct okay okay so so for

00:43:18.320 and that's a that is an important point yeah from years six to ten we probably could have got paid

00:43:24.520 pretty good but we put all that money back in gotcha that's the discipline you're talking about there

00:43:29.600 okay so so i mean dude and you know my all my just so you know like all my friends made fun of me

00:43:35.500 everybody i knew made fun of me everybody everybody was like andy's still fucking doing that little

00:43:41.680 vitamin shop like bro they said to my fucking face this is why i stopped going around people

00:43:46.280 like you talk about eliminating distractions that's why i don't fuck dude how much where do i go

00:43:51.400 you you you spend more time with me than anybody where do i go we go here and we're home that's it

00:43:56.780 i don't fuck with anybody i don't go anywhere i don't talk to anybody and it's a bad habit now

00:44:01.680 because it's become almost hermitish or anti-social to my successful friends but the reason i got that

00:44:10.140 way was because everywhere i went all i heard was bullshit yeah so i stopped going to family shit i

00:44:15.240 stopped going to fucking social shit i stopped doing anything i stopped talking to anybody because dude i got

00:44:21.140 tired of hearing that bullshit and i didn't want to fucking hear it because when i did hear it i'd spend

00:44:26.520 three fucking days like stewing over it so i just cut the shit out and i fucking put the blinders on

00:44:32.800 and i went over here and and that was it and i i don't regret that you know because you know i lost

00:44:39.880 a lot of friendships and and but they weren't the kind of friendships that were serving me dude you

00:44:44.880 know what i'm saying um so dude listen this is all hard to navigate this is a hard thing for people

00:44:52.580 to navigate like we have to understand that you know there's going to be people in your life that

00:44:58.260 have to be removed for you to get where you want to go it's just reality and you have to do it you

00:45:02.820 don't have an option because you won't get there because the energy expenditure on that negativity

00:45:07.260 will force you to lose in business you see what i'm saying yeah man so you know i tell you this

00:45:15.100 if you got a girlfriend that bitches at you for not having any money she's going to bitch at you

00:45:20.400 for being too busy or vice versa yeah naggers nag give them the fuck out that's real shit man you

00:45:26.520 got a bum of a boyfriend yeah same for boyfriends yeah get them out of there yeah get them out of

00:45:31.800 there boo boo yeah bro yeah i love it man guys yeah i mean i mean dude like

00:45:35.460 you guys have to understand you are on a different fucking path you are on a different path

00:45:48.520 you're on a path you're on a path where only one percent of the people that choose the path

00:45:54.500 are successful and only eight percent that choose that only eight percent of the population choose

00:46:00.500 that path only one percent of them are successful so you're choosing the hardest possible path so when

00:46:06.520 you listen to your friends and you listen to the memes on the internet and you hear people talking

00:46:12.020 about all these things none of those things are for you they're for them entrepreneurship ambition

00:46:19.240 success requires a different mindset that hardly anybody understands because they've not done it so

00:46:27.680 stop reading the memes and stop trying to fit your life into all these frameworks that all these

00:46:36.780 so-called experts try to frame up for you on the internet right oh you're a bad person if you're

00:46:42.300 super focused and you don't have time no you're not you're living a different life than those

00:46:46.320 motherfuckers and there is no standard of how we should live you have to go out and pursue what it is

00:46:51.780 you truly want in your heart and if you do not do that at the end of your life you will have a major

00:46:56.780 regret you will say fuck i could have i should have i would have but and it's not going to make you feel

00:47:01.900 any better at that point so please understand this if you understand nothing else that i ever say ever

00:47:08.660 if you get sucked into the vortex of what everybody else wants for you and what everybody else thinks

00:47:15.120 for you and what the memes say and what the therapists say and what the fucking your friends say

00:47:20.500 you're gonna be just like them and most of you don't want that so ignore the noise and realize

00:47:27.260 you are living a different life you are living a different path and that path requires a different

00:47:32.940 set of rules than anything else you're reading online and when you do read shit online you say

00:47:39.000 oh that's good who wrote it and what they do is this a guy that just writes memes does he know what

00:47:43.740 the fuck he's talking about is this a therapist who's convincing people that they're broken so they

00:47:48.680 can get paid who's writing it is it a regular motherfucker that's talking about balance what the fuck do they

00:47:53.940 know about balance to have balance you got to have success too don't you ambition too those people

00:47:59.000 don't have any of that they think balance is sitting on their ass at home fucking doing nothing so none of

00:48:05.380 that shit applies to you here's what applies to you decide what the fuck you want to do break it down

00:48:10.800 into actionable steps daily execute those steps as quick as you can every single day you're going to

00:48:16.800 have balance in your life because you'll have free time and you're going to have success and that's how

00:48:21.580 you have to look at it dude this um this this society we live in that that rewards victimhood

00:48:28.960 and laziness and fucking quote-unquote balance let's be real dude motherfuckers that talk about

00:48:33.840 balance or that what are they really talking about they're talking about being lazy as fuck

00:48:38.120 that's what they're talking about don't listen to any of it guys it's all you are living a different

00:48:44.840 path you're on a different mission not everybody is going to relate in fact very few people are

00:48:51.560 going to relate just keep that in mind i love it man i love it guys 80 that's a hell of a way to

00:48:56.100 start a monday man all right guys don't forget real american freedom gear drop wednesday at seven

00:49:02.060 o'clock and uh we'll see you tomorrow

00:49:04.180 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in the

00:49:12.020 cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed

00:49:21.560 you

00:49:22.060 you

00:49:22.560 you

00:49:24.560 you

00:49:26.560 you

00:49:28.560 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 24, 2025

845. Q&AF： Handling Distractions, How To Let Go & Reinvesting As A Business Owner

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