REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 927. Q&AF： Prioritizing Yourself, Outgrowing Old Circles & Good To Great Leadership

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the real

00:00:20.100 what we're here it's me and dj we're gonna answer your questions

00:00:26.440 uh be sure to call in 1-800 we don't fucking know all right let's just start the show off like that 0.87

00:00:32.820 uh this is q and af this is where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now

00:00:37.200 you could submit your questions a couple different ways dj why don't you tell us how they can do it

00:00:42.340 do a few different ways guys you can email these questions in at ask andy at andy for seller.com

00:00:46.660 you can also go ahead sorry to interrupt you that's fine i didn't realize you were going to

00:00:50.940 be on your game no that's fine that's fine um you guys can also call andy's number directly it's

00:00:57.240 314. no man uh check the description down below uh there's a link there you guys sign up you can

00:01:05.460 also uh submit your questions in the comments of q and af episodes and what else do we have dj this

00:01:10.780 week we got cti cti what's cti stand for it's uh what used to stand for uh something but i think

00:01:19.720 we've taken it over and it means cruise the internet now that's correct yeah so go ahead

00:01:25.020 i'll just let you finish on the game i'm on my game all right tell them what's up we got cti's

00:01:29.520 that's tomorrow it's current events a little bit of everything uh we just pull up headlines talk about

00:01:34.540 it um uh other times you guys tune in see these are shows within the show there you go you know

00:01:40.480 what i'm saying that's right yeah and uh he's got real talk sometimes that's when ady just gets on

00:01:45.760 here and riffs you know um you know says what's on his mind 15 20 minutes you guys love those

00:01:51.180 um and then every now and then we get some special sauce in there a little teriyaki with 75 hard verses

00:01:57.160 um where people who have completed 75 hard or the live hard program come on and tell us how they went

00:02:03.760 from shit to shinola that's correct yeah good job thanks man yeah so what else i think that i think 0.61

00:02:10.720 there's also a oh there's a fee no oh you can get the live hard program oh yeah live hard program 0.63

00:02:16.360 uh if you want to learn more about it um you guys can listen to it for free on episode 14 on the

00:02:22.360 real af feed no that's episode 208 there bro but yeah i saw the first one yeah i know you could do it

00:02:27.820 at 14 or 208 it's free 20 yeah it's what it's free it's free it's absolutely free and what else

00:02:35.120 is not free uh what's not free is uh you know for those of you who need a little bit more juice

00:02:42.060 um you guys can buy the book on mental toughness written by your boy andy for sell you guys can 0.92

00:02:46.780 find that online at andy for seller.com there you go that's pretty that's pretty shitty damn was it i 0.84

00:02:52.520 mean you've only heard that 4 000 times yeah i thought i did pretty good yeah you know what hey now i 0.74

00:02:58.960 know you're now i know you're certainly not paying attention from talking over there well i forget the 0.98

00:03:04.140 episode yeah yeah there's a lot of free good fucking shit in those there's yes there is you're 0.95

00:03:09.280 gonna make up for it yeah all right all right like we said today is q and af and we're gonna answer 0.98

00:03:16.880 some questions and make you guys better uh i guess we'll go ahead and get on it don't forget to pay

00:03:21.860 the fee the fee is very simple if it makes you laugh it makes you think it gives you a new perspective

00:03:26.840 if you learn something which you will today for sure do us a favor and don't be a hoe and share the show 1.00

00:03:33.560 guys yeah yeah girls dj will steal your bike i'm gonna steal it all right what's happening man what's 0.68

00:03:41.200 going on bro that's pretty good yeah thanks man yeah thanks yeah um i mean to be put on the spot

00:03:46.120 you know wasn't that bad oh yeah that's good wasn't that bad yeah i got some good ones for you

00:03:50.020 oh yeah oh yeah you did yeah see i could do dj better than he can do me

00:03:55.820 yeah that was good that was good yeah that was good that was good all right well let's make some

00:04:01.060 people better today dude let's get right into it we got some uh we got some calls lined up got some

00:04:05.540 right ins let's start with a call okay yeah let's get our uh let's get jesse on the line now now full

00:04:12.540 transparency i don't know if this is like a guy jesse or girl jesse it's all right we can handle it

00:04:17.060 it's jesse let's give jesse a call hello jesse it's a guy hey jesse what's up what's up man what's

00:04:29.420 going on bro how are you doing well doing well yourself i'm not doing too bad not doing too bad

00:04:35.200 at all man where you calling from uh georgia uh specifically gainesville gainesville yeah gainesville

00:04:43.240 georgia is that too close to atlanta is it uh maybe about 45 to an hour somewhere around there

00:04:50.000 oh okay that's not bad it's far enough to not get hit by a stray bullet or or yeah that's too

00:04:56.760 sure man it's changing up there so what's happening jesse how are you bro what's up and you doing well

00:05:02.080 doing well man yourself i'm doing great it's it's it's a great day to have a great day

00:05:09.280 it is dude it's beautiful outside yeah so what can we help you with brother what's going on

00:05:15.160 um a lot man um but more specifically or just to speak in general terms um how would you take care

00:05:26.440 of yourself when everybody around you wants a piece of you they're always asking for help help me do this

00:05:31.320 help me that can you help me with this you know kids wife friends family so how could you

00:05:38.780 keep yourself in check and straight to give the best for everybody else oh man i think a lot of

00:05:45.220 people struggle with this dude uh but it's very simple and i learned this lesson um i don't know

00:05:51.660 it took me till i was probably in my late 30s to really learn this lesson you know when you have

00:05:56.740 responsibilities and for me yes i don't have kids but i've got family i've got businesses i've got

00:06:04.160 people that depend on me and when you're someone that cares about those things it's very very hard

00:06:11.980 to put yourself in front of those things and what i came to realize brother is that

00:06:19.240 if i wasn't able to take care of myself and i wasn't in the best place i could be my ability

00:06:26.440 to take care of the people around me suffer so i have this thing that i say pretty often

00:06:33.160 and you got to be selfish to be selfless and this is exactly what that means if you're not fit if

00:06:42.580 you're not healthy if you're sick if you're poor if you're not in a place to be able to handle

00:06:50.620 yourself you certainly can't handle everybody else uh around you so when we think about the natural

00:06:59.600 way that people see other people when they start to take care of themselves they start to eat right

00:07:08.500 they start to train they start to be dedicated to their goals a lot of people around those people 0.99

00:07:14.160 will say oh you're starting to be selfish yeah but i'm being selfish so i can do all the shit you 0.99

00:07:21.320 want me to do motherfucker so that is a common misunderstanding of the people around you and 0.99

00:07:30.020 they really won't ever understand it but if you actually care you've got to understand it and dude if 0.98

00:07:35.140 you value your sanity um and your your own confidence and self-esteem and skill set you got to take care of

00:07:42.360 yourself first bro because at the end of the day man and this is really gonna rub some people the

00:07:48.780 wrong way but it's the fucking truth okay at the end of the day most people don't appreciate what you 0.91

00:07:56.600 do for them they appreciate what you do for them in the moment that you do it when you when you know 0.91

00:08:02.920 some time has gone by they don't appreciate it they don't think about it they don't give you the credit

00:08:07.340 for it and you know it's it's a what have you done for me lately world and the problem with that

00:08:13.300 is that when we are solution minded and we are people that are empathetic and care and try to be

00:08:21.120 active and help other people they end up draining all the life force out of us dude to where we don't

00:08:27.120 have the energy to pursue our own interests and our own development and our own skill set

00:08:32.160 and that ends up leaving us with nothing that ends up leaving us with no you know emotional energy

00:08:40.360 we're drained we're frustrated we're angry and then also our own life our money our fitness our mental

00:08:48.220 health our actual health we don't have any of it because we gave it up trying to help other people

00:08:54.800 and so dude if you are someone and i'm not just talking to jesse but if you are someone who is always

00:09:02.000 being pulled on who is always being asked to help who has lots of responsibility and lots of

00:09:09.220 responsibility might be just your kids man it's all different for everybody else but at the end of the

00:09:14.680 day you have to understand that if you are not your best product you cannot help people effectively to

00:09:22.460 the point of what you would be able to do and that was a perspective for me that took me almost 40

00:09:28.480 years to figure out dude but once i figured it out man i got everything that i ever wanted came into

00:09:37.660 my life personally and then my ability to do good for other people increase exponentially so

00:09:43.800 uh bro i understand that's a really hard thing especially when you care but you got to realize that

00:09:51.420 if you don't put yourself first you're going to end up with nothing in the long run

00:09:54.820 right does that make sense yeah uh that makes perfect sense and i'm assuming that's including

00:10:03.100 learning how to say no right absolutely be a big part of the deal hey listen dude setting boundaries

00:10:08.340 and saying no is a huge huge huge skill set if you lack the ability to say no and you're trying to

00:10:18.820 become more successful financially you'll never be able to do it because people can sense that

00:10:24.180 and the asks never stop okay um that's one thing you know but yeah you have to practice saying no and

00:10:33.220 by the way no is a complete sentence you could just say no you don't have to give this big long

00:10:40.080 justification and if someone says why you could say because i don't want to or because i said so

00:10:47.760 or because i have to do this for myself and these are acceptable answers and we live in this society

00:10:55.200 that sort of like shames us for saying no or you know sometimes we're around friends and family that 0.97

00:11:02.320 make us feel guilty for saying no and um at the end of the day dude it's all bullshit and it's all 0.95

00:11:09.100 stuff that'll keep you from becoming who you need who you want and need to become in order to be 0.91

00:11:14.760 you know the best that you can be for yourself and everybody around you brother

00:11:18.940 right right you struggle with that with saying no yeah man absolutely because it's one of those

00:11:26.680 things where it's like i was taught to give first before i before i ask or take yeah so saying no is

00:11:33.680 not part of something that i grew up with you know yeah brother i i do know i i struggle with it myself

00:11:39.000 um you know one of my really good friends uh hit tells me this all the time um he's like bro you 0.99

00:11:47.860 got to set better boundaries you got to set better boundaries you got to say fucking no fuck these 0.99

00:11:51.540 people and uh you know he's right and and honestly i started listening to him a couple years ago when it 0.99

00:11:58.680 came to that and it's made my life better it really has i still struggle with it and then the other

00:12:04.360 thing is is the more successful you become dude you realize that you can help people tremendously

00:12:10.600 in a in a way that is very impactful to them but maybe not as it doesn't hurt to like give like for

00:12:22.200 example right now like if someone were to get in a hole for 500 bucks or a thousand bucks

00:12:27.500 that that that that's that's not a relevant amount of money for me and so i can very easily say here's

00:12:35.040 a thousand bucks fix your problem but what happens when you do that is a couple things one you keep

00:12:42.860 them from learning the lesson that they need to learn so that this doesn't happen again all right

00:12:48.940 that's the first thing that you you are taking away their lessons in life that are important for them to

00:12:56.460 learn and that was one of the most important uh i guess realizations that i have when it came to

00:13:05.900 helping people and bro i still you know i'm very generous person but i don't help everybody it depends

00:13:12.020 on the situation it depends on what happened and uh most of the time i say no because the truth of the

00:13:17.520 matter is most of the time it's the consequence of their own poor decision making and they have to

00:13:22.080 learn that lesson and then the other thing i learned is that when you save people and from their own

00:13:29.940 karmic reaction that they've created you actually step in front of you know that that fist of karma 0.92

00:13:38.320 and take that punch for them you know then you get that shit unloaded on you and you know you're not the 0.97

00:13:44.800 one that made the mistake so we have to learn that you know other people have to be responsible for 1.00

00:13:52.820 their own shit bro and when you're someone who is helpful and giving and someone who who you know 0.97

00:14:01.100 is just a kind-hearted person dude people take advantage of it and it's it sucks so you got to be 0.99

00:14:10.120 very intelligent and and calculating about how you help because if you help the wrong person

00:14:16.820 then they think that it's expected and then you've created a real problem where now they're going out

00:14:22.340 and repeating mistakes over and over and over again and never learning the lesson we see this a lot with

00:14:27.360 like people who are hooked on drugs like families who get someone who's like you know hooked on meth or 0.67

00:14:32.820 fucking crack or something and they'll keep they'll keep trying to help them and get them out of the 0.96

00:14:37.960 hole and get them out of the hole and get them out of the hole and then what happens they become 0.99

00:14:41.420 someone who's understands how to manipulate people and get what they want and they never work on solving

00:14:47.340 the problem so you're a crutch now yeah for sure yeah and i was just i was just at dinner with some

00:14:52.940 friends last night and um we got on the topic and you know there's some they're very successful people

00:14:58.880 and they were on the topic of a of a person that they know who you know has uh needs but also has

00:15:09.320 been fired from their job like seven times for showing up late and you know they they don't they

00:15:16.020 don't do their part and uh you know you just can't get yourself in that situation bro you've got to be

00:15:23.840 smart you got to understand that not everybody has the same level of integrity that you have

00:15:29.760 and that's a good thing to have don't lose it just be selective about where you put it out because

00:15:34.460 when you do that you're giving a piece of you away you're giving energy from you away and the less

00:15:39.360 energy that you have to work on you uh the the you know the problem compounds about you not getting

00:15:45.400 where you need to be and not being able to help anybody so that's a hard lesson dude saying no

00:15:50.340 especially when you're someone that's a good hearted person bro right right that's not exclusive

00:15:57.120 to you no gotcha yeah yeah i mean as you were talking you know i was i was uh imagining a couple

00:16:07.060 scenarios where you know saying no could have been a benefit um and probably changed the course of my

00:16:12.920 life uh as of right now but well yeah so what do you think that means in the future

00:16:18.680 i gotta i gotta learn to say no that's right because you're already how old are you

00:16:24.540 uh 31 yeah 32 it's time to learn that bro it's time to learn that you know

00:16:31.260 that's real man i think the biggest thing dude it just get comfortable saying no and not saying

00:16:37.800 anything after it you know what i'm saying like like i at first people are going to take that as weird

00:16:44.480 um and it is weird at first but you got to condition yourself to say no and then you know

00:16:50.760 later when you're more comfortable you can start providing a little bit more of a a window into why

00:16:55.800 that reason is you know if needed but bro you don't need to explain yourself you don't need to

00:17:00.640 you're a grown man you got responsibilities you need to put yourself first so that you can handle

00:17:07.260 those responsibilities in the best way possible with the best product possible which is you and um

00:17:13.120 you have to be free to do that and that's going to require you setting some boundaries and saying no

00:17:16.640 yeah yeah hell yeah all right i appreciate that thank you very much you're welcome bro it takes

00:17:25.220 practice dude it takes practice sometimes when you have to practice saying no you practice saying no to

00:17:30.940 little things so that you get comfortable just saying it you know what i mean just look for opportunities

00:17:35.960 when you're in your day-to-day life and acknowledge those little victories when you say no to things you

00:17:41.800 actually don't want to do you know for me one of the things that that that i've always got caught up

00:17:46.820 in is someone will ask me to do something months in advance and i'll say yes in the moment but but i

00:17:53.840 really didn't want to do it and then i end up having to like cancel it or back out and i've just gotten

00:18:01.040 more comfortable just kind of saying no i'm doing my thing and and that's just taking a long time for me

00:18:05.620 to get there and i i gotta tell you dude i don't think it's really offended anybody i don't think

00:18:10.760 it's i think people are comfortable i think these i think this lack of communication is almost in our

00:18:18.000 own heads you know um we fear what people are going to say we we paint our the worst possible reaction

00:18:26.060 in our mind and then you know we we kind of bitch out and you know when in reality had you just said no 0.94

00:18:33.320 they would have probably been like they probably would have said well why not you'd be like hey

00:18:37.160 because this and it'd be over you know what i mean yeah it's thick man sweet man well i appreciate it

00:18:43.300 thank you yeah brother it's you bro all right jesse i'll talk to you later dude i appreciate it guys

00:18:49.620 thank you for what you do thank you been to help with not just this but everything else in between

00:18:53.720 thank you brother really appreciate that man all right you guys have a good one all right you too

00:18:59.240 i was thinking i think the most the hardest part of that process is just saying no the first time

00:19:05.600 because then it's like you know you you brought up like you know somebody that you're being a crutch 1.00

00:19:10.180 to essentially but it's like the moment you stop helping them oh then you're a piece of shit yeah 0.99

00:19:15.120 you know i'm saying then you got to deal with like that's the hard like but i feel like i mean 0.99

00:19:18.540 correct me if i'm wrong i feel like you only got to do that like one maybe two times and then you're

00:19:22.600 good yeah then you're good yeah dude it's it look man it's people got to know they can't step on

00:19:27.160 your toes yeah and that's it and saying no in a very direct confident way and then kind of leaving

00:19:32.760 it at that sort of sets that boundary for good oh yeah you know because like it's so it's it's so

00:19:39.000 unexpected for people and they're they're not used to it to the point where like when you just say no 0.99

00:19:44.980 and kind of leave it at that they almost think like well oh fuck are you mad at me yeah right you

00:19:49.820 know no i'm not mad at you just it's just no yeah and once you set that boundary you know people 0.98

00:19:55.960 people start respecting it yeah 100 it doesn't take a long time to set that up no that's real man

00:20:02.000 um it's almost like a perfect transition we got to write in the kind of let's expand on this a little

00:20:06.920 bit more um guys andy question number two dear andy and dj uh my name is mark and i am 32 years old

00:20:15.160 living in the northwest suburbs of chicago illinois i've been making significant changes in my life

00:20:22.240 uh which uh i've it's impacted me for the better to save a long story i will just say i used to be

00:20:28.740 a soy boy beta white knight

00:20:31.700 self-described okay um who blamed everyone for my shortcomings uh until 2020 happened and i essentially

00:20:44.500 had my coming to jesus moment um through listening to you and a few other podcasts i've managed to see

00:20:50.420 that all the hills that i was willing to die on were basically bs so i changed up my weight training

00:20:56.840 regimen as well um and what i was eating who i was following on social media as i write this i've

00:21:03.420 cleared up years of brain fog um i read a lot more than i watch tv and i maintain routine every day

00:21:09.660 um even on the weekends the problem that i have uh the problem that i've been facing since i started

00:21:15.600 making these changes is that i've been getting a lot of backlash because i'm not that guy anymore

00:21:22.680 um i don't drink alcohol nor do i smoke cigarettes anymore cold turkey um i've even gotten to the

00:21:28.920 point where i'm not materialistic as hell um nor do i go out to eat i make all my food uh for the week

00:21:35.200 at home um and being indian i'm not big on eating indian food anymore uh as it does not agree with my

00:21:43.420 stomach uh so with all that being said my question is how do i how do i cut these people off uh and

00:21:49.860 tell them that i'm doing this for my own personal benefit um i'm at the point where i really don't

00:21:56.040 care what they have to say about me most of it is done behind closed doors anyway but i'm getting

00:22:00.440 really tired of having to explain why i don't go to the club anymore um or why i don't want to go to

00:22:07.060 this restaurant because it doesn't uh align with my new values or why i don't stay up to the

00:22:12.680 wee hours of the morning uh because i want to get my 4 a.m lifted always appreciate your insight and

00:22:18.160 thank you for what you do p.s i love the grape energy by the way um the minute i cracked it open

00:22:23.520 while driving i was pulled over by the police and i'm not saying that to be funny i'm being serious

00:22:27.600 a lot of stuff there profiling yeah i'm sorry you gotta watch out for that great energy i don't eat

00:22:34.060 indian food no more because my stomach does not agree yeah sounds like he's become full-blown uh 1.00

00:22:40.100 you know domestic tea oh yeah that's right that's right uh that's right hey all right first of all

00:22:45.880 dude look congratulations on all the progress okay that's that's a big change uh uh you know going from

00:22:53.820 being someone who's kind of like floating in the wind and bought into society's idea of being

00:23:01.000 weak and sick and you know broken uh this way lesser version of yourself to pursue 0.60

00:23:08.680 your ultimate potential and purpose for being in life by creating you into being the best you that

00:23:18.540 you could be is a massive change and a massive victory uh in regards to the people that you feel 0.98

00:23:26.980 you have to explain you said you don't really care what they think well you fucking obviously do you 0.97

00:23:31.820 wouldn't be writing into the show all right a lot of people say oh i don't give a fuck but let me tell 0.99

00:23:37.540 you something dude the people who say oh give zero fucks are the ones that give the most fucks okay 0.98

00:23:43.420 so you have to understand that you owe them nothing you you don't owe them an excuse you don't owe them 0.72

00:23:52.940 a reason you don't owe them an explanation for why it is you're trying to work out or trying to be

00:23:58.860 healthier or trying to become what it is you're trying to become they are going to stay exactly where 0.82

00:24:05.860 they are for the next 60 motherfucking years okay their best days have already happened your best 0.60

00:24:14.440 days haven't even started unless you decide to stay in that circle and do what they do and you are at a 0.76

00:24:25.420 point where it is time to move into what we call no man's land and no man's land is not a fun place to

00:24:34.180 be in fact i think you're already there you're not going to eat you're making your food at home

00:24:39.100 you're sort of isolating yourself and that is not the best way to do this okay you have to understand

00:24:48.200 your old friend group your people who knew you from back in the day most of them are not going to come

00:24:56.840 on the journey with you all right and then they're going to blame you and they're going to say you changed 0.98

00:25:01.660 and you're not that guy well motherfucker i went and you could have came and you decided not to that 0.99

00:25:07.640 is not my fucking fault all right and it's not yours either so you have to understand dude through life 0.99

00:25:14.340 as we progress and continue down this path of personal development and personal improvement 0.91

00:25:20.680 making more money getting more fit becoming the version of ourselves that we want to become in our lives

00:25:27.180 we are going to move through different groups of friends through our life this idea of having a

00:25:34.380 friend group from high school or college and staying super tight your whole life really only happens for

00:25:42.060 people who stay in the same spot when they graduate college or high school or whatever the minute you

00:25:50.160 start progressing they're not going to relate dude and nothing you say and nothing you explain

00:25:55.840 and nothing you do the success you build will ever change that all right so you're going to move

00:26:03.220 on from this friend group you're going to politely just stop answering the texts or be slow to answer

00:26:10.120 the texts or not answer their calls stop giving them an explanation you don't need to give them one

00:26:16.500 they'll fucking get it and continue down your path now as you continue down your path you're going to 0.94

00:26:21.880 feel a little isolated like what you're explaining now but surely and slowly you're going to start 0.99

00:26:29.960 developing a new friend group you're going to meet one person who is on the path that you're on and

00:26:36.660 then you're going to meet a second and then you're going to meet a third and before you know it that old 0.92

00:26:41.260 friend group that says shit like oh you changed and oh man you know you're not that guy anymore and 0.97

00:26:47.720 you know you used to be fun uh don't forget who you are don't forget where you came from instead of 0.99

00:26:55.080 people saying that they're going to be saying hey man how can i help you on this what can we do hey this

00:27:01.800 will work for you hey that will work for you and now the conversation becomes cool because it's like

00:27:07.020 you're having these amazing offensive conversations about how you're going to move forward and how you're

00:27:13.320 going to do these things and how you can build together work together and then you're you're not

00:27:18.400 going to have to defend yourself you're not going to have to expend energy trying to explain because

00:27:24.080 they're going to get it all right and then what's going to happen is if you continue to level up some

00:27:31.720 of these people out of that second group will go with you but some won't some will stay where they

00:27:36.340 are they'll be happy at that level of development and that's fine this is not judgment this is about

00:27:41.680 what you want for yourself and you're going to move on to the next group and you're going to go

00:27:46.680 through the process again it's going to be you and you're not really going to relate to the second

00:27:51.300 friend group anymore and then you're going to meet someone and then you're going to meet another person

00:27:56.160 before you know you're going to have an even higher network that is even more aligned with what it is

00:28:01.040 and dude the the value of the relationships that you have with people who are on the same path as you

00:28:07.840 is much more fulfilling and much more valuable than trying to defend yourself against people who

00:28:14.840 don't understand it all right so you go from anchors trying to pull you back to people who are doing

00:28:23.060 everything they can they're picking up the phone they're opening up their black book they're calling

00:28:27.340 people they're introing you they're trying to help you win which one of those situations would you

00:28:32.620 rather be in all of us would rather be in the situation where we're surrounded by people who

00:28:39.220 are helping us do what we want to do and that requires us leaving the things that we knew okay

00:28:46.080 and if you don't do that the path will get so hard and those old friends they will call you at the right

00:28:55.000 time when things aren't good and you're naturally wanting to quit anyway and they will convince you to

00:29:01.160 fucking quit and then you'll go back and you'll end up being just like them and i see this happen i have 0.88

00:29:07.340 seen this happen so many times that i couldn't even count i i honestly couldn't this is why i believe 1.00

00:29:17.160 most people lose they cannot break the bonds that they had with people that they either grew up with

00:29:25.000 or quote unquote feel loyal to we have this thing in society now where you know if you're not loyal to 1.00

00:29:34.240 people from way you're not real you're fake you're full of shit you're bro say whatever the fuck you 1.00

00:29:39.040 want okay you stay the same i fucking didn't if that makes me not real then fucking whatever it is 1.00

00:29:45.340 that's what it is i don't care okay and you won't either because you'll be doing the things that you 0.99

00:29:50.560 love you'll be contributing the things that you care about you'll be becoming who it is you want 0.99

00:29:55.100 to be and you'll be creating what it is you want to create and none of those motherfuckers from back 0.98

00:29:59.960 in the old day are doing any of that shit and by the way if they're cool you could still be friends 0.98

00:30:04.700 with them you still might see them out once in a while you still might see them at a restaurant

00:30:08.320 a couple times a year you might grab a beer but like dude this is not an all the time thing

00:30:13.460 and people ruin their chances of success by being too loyal to the wrong people okay the person that

00:30:22.140 you have to be loyal to the most is yourself it's yourself and you're not doing yourself any favors

00:30:29.420 by being loyal to people who are going to hold you back because they've guilted you into you know

00:30:35.740 being real quote unquote so look man it's a process everybody goes through it you have to go through

00:30:45.940 it if you want to move on from where you are and you're already doing this you've got three four 0.91

00:30:50.780 five years under your belt it's time to move the fuck on okay so whatever you got to do you can tell 0.92

00:30:58.920 them again but if i were you i just stop explaining it and people will eventually know they'll eventually 0.99

00:31:04.360 say oh well that's what he does and they won't fuck with it so you know well the part that you said 0.91

00:31:12.720 they could have came to yeah they could like you know no one talks about that bro i think about my 0.98

00:31:18.820 friends all the fucking time you could be here too man and you know what i thought too man is like 0.97

00:31:23.920 the truth of the matter is is that if you really care for your for those people if you really care for 0.98

00:31:29.080 those friends or whoever it is sometimes the only fucking chance that they'll ever have to get out 0.97

00:31:35.740 of that is to see you fucking get out of it yes you know what i'm saying like you gotta go yeah you 0.99

00:31:41.040 gotta go and and if you really cared about them show them what the fuck it looks like show what it 0.99

00:31:45.480 takes yeah they could have came man bro listen dude it hurts man it hurts because you care for those 1.00

00:31:52.120 people bro nah it doesn't hurt it is what it's reality it's just real it's fuck dude when you've 0.99

00:31:58.860 been doing something long enough you start to just accept things for what they are yeah that's that is 0.99

00:32:03.940 what the point of the show is it's just it's a realist mentality it just is what it is man and if

00:32:12.020 you don't operate in the what is and you always operate in the what should be you can't win you'll

00:32:17.340 always be fighting a struggle that you you can't win so you have to acknowledge things and bottom

00:32:22.980 line them for what they are they're gonna stay there i'm not going to stay there it is what it 0.96

00:32:28.000 is i have nothing against them if they have something against me i don't give a fuck and that's that 0.97

00:32:32.960 yeah yeah man you dude you listen i don't know like i think you got to get to a point and this is 0.66

00:32:40.760 part of the reason why like you know developing yourself with discipline and mental toughness and grit

00:32:46.820 and fortitude and all these things because dude most people can't say no and can't have a

00:32:52.320 conversation about boundaries or can't move on because they lack the confidence to do so they

00:32:57.100 don't believe in themselves and so you have to build that belief in yourself uh you know through a program

00:33:02.560 like live hard that's why it's a program that you that you do every single year because it keeps

00:33:08.380 your confidence and your self-belief and your grit and your fortitude and your mental toughness

00:33:12.280 sharpened so that these kind of things don't creep in and throw you off track the more confidence you

00:33:18.060 have in yourself the easier it is to say no to everybody else because you know that you'll be

00:33:22.660 fine on your own and a lot of people that lack confidence feel like they can't move down the path

00:33:27.140 on their own because they don't believe in themselves so you know the more confidence you can develop

00:33:32.460 uh the the easier that process this whole process is going to be yeah yeah man that's that's real 0.99

00:33:40.060 shit man i love it uh another call yeah yeah shall we um this is trevor let's give uh let's give 0.98

00:33:48.100 trevor a call 0.99

00:33:48.780 this is trevor trevor what's up man this is dj what's going on dj what did you tell me man what's

00:34:03.300 going on with you oh man just uh joined this beautiful day trying to get some yard work done

00:34:09.580 where you at trevor i'm south of st louis just about 70 miles how you doing man i'm doing good

00:34:16.900 bro where at in leesburg oh leesburg yeah just north of uh steelville okay over that oh yeah all right

00:34:25.220 yeah all right cool man proud missouri yep yep yep so what's happening bro how can we how can we help you

00:34:33.300 well this is kind of surreal i didn't expect to get uh get called but man i really appreciate you

00:34:38.900 guys taking the time to call me and uh you know sort of what my question revolves around is you

00:34:44.860 don't know what you don't know and you being an entrepreneur i'm more of an intrapreneur i work for

00:34:51.320 a company that i'm working to make them a better company so i've been putting some leadership positions

00:34:57.160 and i guess i feel like i'm doing really good becoming a leader but the question i kind of have

00:35:05.060 is what is sort of that lie or misconception that we tell ourselves when we're in that leadership

00:35:11.700 position that delay is for making the leap from being a really good leader to being a great leader

00:35:17.380 we tell ourselves we're great leaders before we're actually great leaders

00:35:22.780 that that's what that's what keeps people from becoming a great leader so it's ego people believe

00:35:30.180 that if they have a leadership title that they're automatically a leader when in reality that's not

00:35:36.220 true at all in fact a lot of people don't understand that they might have the role of leader on their team

00:35:46.520 but there might be someone else leading your team that technically is below you and this is where we

00:35:54.480 run into situations like undermining and difficulty to build a team and build a culture but the reason

00:36:01.760 that those things ultimately pop up is because we think we're better than we are and so to be a great

00:36:08.340 leader you have to understand that you're not that great okay and that means that that is the

00:36:16.340 proper application of humility when it comes to becoming good at something i know what i'm good at but i

00:36:25.540 also know that i could be much better at the things that i'm good at and that opens me up to learning

00:36:31.580 that opens me up to hearing new perspectives or learning new lessons about whatever the skill set

00:36:38.080 might be and in this case it's leadership so if you walk in and you think man i'm a good leader 0.99

00:36:47.160 the boss gave me the role of leader i'm the leader you motherfuckers better do what i say because i'm the 0.98

00:36:52.060 leader you'll never be a great leader the way that you have awareness about wanting to be a great leader 0.99

00:36:57.840 is how you become a great leader because you're already humble enough to even ask and say 0.97

00:37:03.580 how can i be better how can i avoid mistakes how can i xxx these are things that people who suck at 0.76

00:37:13.920 leadership never ask themselves they're not even aware of it bro so the fact that you're aware of it

00:37:20.060 is a huge deal i think the second thing that is very important and very true i think people

00:37:29.420 underestimate the leading by example piece i think they believe that they can lie or skate around it

00:37:39.440 or pretend or somehow trick everybody around them into thinking that they're doing the things that

00:37:46.100 they're supposed to be doing and that never works people are much smarter than than people give them

00:37:52.080 credit for they they're automatically also looking at their leadership with a very fine

00:37:58.420 microscope okay so like when you combine the attitude of oh they're not going to see it

00:38:04.300 with their ability to microanalyze every single move they're going to see that you're not leading by

00:38:12.100 example so yeah that makes sense yeah bro so like dude most leaders don't do that and it's it's the

00:38:20.640 simplest thing man it's monkey see monkey do they're going to hold the standard that you hold

00:38:25.400 they're going to do the things that you do if you pick up the trash they're going to pick up the trash

00:38:30.560 if you hold a standard of a clean truck they're going to have a clean truck the the all these things

00:38:36.840 come from what they observe and um you know most people just don't do it dude they they hear you

00:38:43.320 know the lombardi quote uh you know leading by example isn't the best way to lead it's the only way

00:38:48.280 to lead and they think that's some like abstract bullshit and it's not it's the truth uh and then

00:38:55.240 thirdly dude i think that leaders also underestimate what their job really is their job is not just to 0.52

00:39:03.260 like stand at the front and say this is what we're doing dude when you're a great leader man you gotta

00:39:09.200 you gotta work with people you gotta you gotta get right in with them and and and you know figure out

00:39:14.300 what drives them what's their goals what is it they care about what are the things that move them

00:39:20.060 what skills do they need to learn like one of the ways that you can best build a great team

00:39:26.200 is by teaching them skills that they didn't have and a lot of people aren't willing to do that

00:39:31.480 but dude when we transfer as humans our knowledge from our brain into their brain there's literally

00:39:38.680 nothing more valuable perception wise than we can give another person is our knowledge

00:39:44.240 so a lot of people in leadership they will say things like well that's their job to to learn

00:39:49.960 those skills yeah but if they learn them from you bro how much more are they going to love working

00:39:54.300 with you how much more effective are they going to be how much more are they going to want to go to 0.99

00:39:58.320 battle with you when it's time to fucking you know batting the hatches down and fucking go to war 0.99

00:40:03.320 like the you have to do the work of not just leader but coach and teacher and mentor and and big brother 0.99

00:40:11.540 sometimes you know and um and that's a that's a thing that a lot of people just aren't willing to

00:40:17.540 invest in their people with you know they they will say things like oh well they get paid yeah okay well

00:40:24.240 you're gonna lose bro like it has to be more than that so um but man we could go on and on but at the end

00:40:31.000 of the day brother like i would say that's the top three things really i see people mess up you know

00:40:35.920 and um maybe the fourth thing would go in with the first thing which would be like you know people's

00:40:42.880 egos thinking that if you're a leader people owe you shit that's not what it is man you owe them 0.54

00:40:49.740 you're working for them you're leading them you're helping them the best leaders understand that your job 0.98

00:40:55.960 is to facilitate the success of your team it's not to sit in the office with your desk up and act 0.99

00:41:01.480 like you you've got a 20 foot dick bro like it's it's i fucking care about people i'm gonna help you 0.98

00:41:07.800 win we're gonna win together we're gonna do the work together here's what we're trying to do this is 1.00

00:41:12.480 how it benefits you this is how it benefits us as a team and let's go fucking do it and then you 0.95

00:41:17.460 know you you got to build these guys into doing that so um but bro i'll give you a lot of credit 0.95

00:41:24.160 man because like most guys won't even ask they won't even ask they're too proud

00:41:27.860 yeah i want to set my team up for the best success in their life and i think you hit on two things

00:41:36.300 when you're point two and point three are the things that i'm the most concerned about with myself

00:41:41.180 i'm a guy that that learns just by going out and doing yeah and what i really struggle with i think

00:41:49.060 right now is that line of going out and doing it with my team and also stepping back enough to

00:41:56.880 allow them to struggle to learn on their own yeah that's and i guess maybe that's where i'm concerned

00:42:02.860 is i learn really well by doing it if i fail i learn from that and i i learned that better than

00:42:08.800 someone telling me i guess where i'm concerned is is if i'm trying to take that same approach to

00:42:14.760 offer to somebody else and am i missing out on an opportunity to teach them in a different way

00:42:19.580 and i guess that's that's where i was really concerned about how my leadership skills are

00:42:24.400 affected by what my previous experiences were man you know that's a really good question and i think

00:42:32.240 there is a lot of ways everybody has their own like quote unquote leadership style but if we think

00:42:39.300 about what our job is and you said it right away my you know i want to put my team in a position to win

00:42:45.040 first of all that's another thing i didn't mention was with the intent like when you have a team

00:42:50.380 and they can feel that you care about their success as a leader they can feel that intent

00:42:56.020 it makes a much better team but as far as like the way to teach them i think a lot of people have

00:43:03.980 different ways but but my way is the one that you described which is sit down explain it give them

00:43:10.780 a couple swings of the bat you know they're going to miss the ball and uh and then fine-tune it step

00:43:16.320 back let them make their mistakes fine-tune it and then they'll get it and and by letting them

00:43:22.300 make a few mistakes and learn on their own you're allowing them to build confidence in their own

00:43:29.480 skill set which will pay off dividends long term does that make sense yep so it makes a lot of 1.00

00:43:35.160 sense yeah absolutely bro it's fucking frustrating because you're sitting there and you're like fuck 0.99

00:43:38.960 dude like this is basic shit but it's not basic to them okay it's yeah and and and dude the the older 0.99

00:43:46.540 we get and the more seasoned we get and the more experience we get that part gets a lot harder because 0.99

00:43:52.060 some of the things that make up the foundational principles of your skill set you've forgotten and it's

00:43:58.480 and it's like speaking chinese to them so we have to remember dude also as leaders like

00:44:05.060 who we're leading and what they've known and and they don't know what we know and i struggle with

00:44:11.680 this for a long time as a leader i used to get really fucking pissed off when people couldn't do 0.93

00:44:16.000 basic shit but then i started realizing if i just kept my cool and i sat down and say look why are we 0.91

00:44:23.360 doing this why did you do it that way and they'll say well you know i thought this was the way 0.98

00:44:27.480 and i said no we need to do it like this because this and this usually dude like 99 of the time

00:44:34.260 they're like oh fuck i got it and we default i think a lot of times dude also we default 0.98

00:44:40.660 into thinking that people are being lazy and they're not being lazy they just don't fucking know 0.99

00:44:47.080 now sometimes they are being lazy but most of the time i found they don't know people want to win they 0.84

00:44:52.380 want to contribute they want to be a part of a team they want to they want to do well winning is fun

00:44:56.640 winning is fun for everybody and it's especially fun for people who've never won and and if you can

00:45:01.720 lead if you can lead people into like learning a skill and winning as a team bro like that's a big

00:45:09.120 that's a big skill set to teach people because most people never win so uh dude i'll be real with you

00:45:17.020 i think you're setting a foundation to be a tremendous leader i i think you're asking the right

00:45:22.360 questions i think you're concerned about the right things and the fact that you have the awareness

00:45:27.180 is going to mean that you're not going to struggle with that man that where people run into this 0.96

00:45:32.780 learning new skills and becoming better is when they're not even aware they suck they're not even

00:45:40.560 aware that they need to get better they're not even aware of they just look they just look at it like 0.95

00:45:46.080 this is my job and those people never do well they always struggle they always go from job to job to

00:45:51.780 job job job and i never understood it man because like we spend so much of our time in our work and 0.65

00:45:59.000 with the people that we work with why the fuck would we not want to be the best at what we do 0.97

00:46:03.680 you know and absolutely yeah like we're gonna be here anyway bro let's fucking win might as well win 0.93

00:46:09.640 yeah that's what i'm saying and uh and let's have fun doing it dude exactly i love what i do bro 0.95

00:46:15.580 there's not i would not trade my fucking life for anybody's life on the planet zero chance i love the 0.98

00:46:24.320 people i get to do this with i love what we do i'm so grateful that i get to do it i mean dude i get to 0.98

00:46:32.120 come in here i get to work with all these amazing people who work fucking super hard who care about 0.85

00:46:37.720 people who change people who then then you know we we change people's lives like dude when i when i 0.61

00:46:45.320 think about what i get to do bro it's fucking amazing and if i were to look at it like oh this 0.92

00:46:51.900 is just my job and i gotta show bro it would fucking suck like the the difference in perspective is so 0.99

00:46:58.540 massive and if you just acknowledge like hey man i i this is something we're gonna do if it's not here 0.96

00:47:05.060 it's gonna be there if it's not there it's gonna be there because i gotta fucking eat and if you just 0.99

00:47:09.820 have the perspective of man you know what this is hard but it could be a lot harder uh and i really 0.63

00:47:17.720 appreciate doing this like dude it makes it so much more fun it's so much easier to build a team and so

00:47:22.640 like you know i got criticized on the internet uh some dude said something like well it doesn't 0.95

00:47:30.220 look like you're winning to me you know you're at work seven days a week yeah motherfucker because 0.99

00:47:34.600 i fucking love it i fucking love it yeah i love it it's you this person you can't understand that fun 1.00

00:47:41.740 for me is not fun for you i don't have fun sitting on the fucking uh on the riverbank drinking fucking 1.00

00:47:47.840 beers bro that now once in a while i do but like that's not my main goal in life and dude i come here 0.97

00:47:53.880 every day bro i get to see gazillion tags on my social media people changing their lives with 75

00:47:59.540 hard and live hard or the podcast or building a business or losing a hundred pounds here through 0.86

00:48:05.160 our transformation contest like dude what the fuck is more fun than that like and then doing it with 0.86

00:48:11.860 your friends like you you know one of the things that we talk about dude is is being happy right 0.83

00:48:17.400 and a lot of people can't figure out that happiness is like not this place that we arrive at it's an

00:48:25.700 emotion that we create over and over and over again throughout the day that compounds and part of

00:48:31.220 what that is is the people that you do it with and the and the thing that you do and so you know when

00:48:36.960 you have a good purpose and you have good people and you have discipline working for you and you're

00:48:43.240 grateful to do it bro it's impossible not to have fun and be happy it's impossible so yeah and i know

00:48:50.160 that's a little off track bro but like it all intertwines together you know no i love it man

00:48:55.700 absolutely yeah i mean the i stumbled into what i'm doing now and i love it i mean we always say we

00:49:01.940 hire to retire at our company but i mean the way i feel about where i work and what i do is i'm

00:49:08.260 i'm here until i die almost man i don't know what else i would do yeah i mean i love

00:49:13.000 love this so much and i i just want to be able to inspire other people to do that and that's why

00:49:18.200 i want to be that great leader yeah i want to be able to instill that same pride with what they're

00:49:24.740 doing for us you know as a company you know we're all winning but i want them to feel that same pride

00:49:30.520 as well for sure dude and that's a noble thing and that's a great thing that all great leaders

00:49:35.220 possess it's not just about them the greatest leaders in the world it's not about them that's like

00:49:40.780 the misconception of great leaders like great leaders are almost to the point where they don't

00:49:48.360 want the attention they don't want people to notice them they want people to notice the team

00:49:52.400 and poor leaders are kind of like what we have running the governments of the world right it's 0.99

00:49:58.980 about ego and it's about recognition and it's about uh you know i'm the shit i'm the most powerful 1.00

00:50:05.460 dude that's not that's not even real power dude real power is changing so many motherfuckers lives 1.00

00:50:10.620 that they tell everybody all the good shit about you you know what i mean so and and dude i don't 0.98

00:50:15.380 know about you but when i die i hope that you know people will at least say hey that guy you know he 0.95

00:50:21.220 made my life a lot different my life would have been a lot different in a bad way had i not come 0.99

00:50:25.240 across andy versella that's what the fuck i want and and you can't you can't fake that you can't you 0.98

00:50:30.860 can't half ass it bro you got to be real you got to invest time in people you got to care about 0.98

00:50:35.800 people and bro you already have these qualities man like i'm actually super excited to hear from

00:50:41.140 you because a lot of people just they want to be great leaders but they they lack the ability to

00:50:45.860 care about people enough to be great leaders you know yeah i think some of the greatest things i get

00:50:53.140 to see from my team right now is not just how well they're doing in work but i've hired some younger

00:50:59.740 people that have had an opportunity to learn some skills and i've gotten to see their their personal

00:51:03.300 life grow around them and that's been sort of the most rewarding i guess i would say outside of work

00:51:09.300 is being able to see them to kind of transform their personal lives uh to be able to do some different 0.90

00:51:15.580 things that they weren't doing before bro it's the greatest fucking thing ever like dude when i started 0.96

00:51:22.800 in business you know i was i was broke dude so y'all obviously when i'm young you know my goal was to 0.90

00:51:28.100 take care of myself i had a lot of cool shit that i wanted to do in my life and uh you know i live a 0.57

00:51:33.300 ridiculously cool life and have for a long time but my what i derive value out of and what i get excited 0.64

00:51:42.020 about now is exactly what you just said when i see young people start work learn build skills build a

00:51:50.020 career you know move through the chain you know get engaged get married have a kid buy their first house 0.99

00:51:57.340 buy their second house like these nice car those are the fuck that is the fucking best thing ever 0.99

00:52:04.660 it's the best thing ever so i totally feel you on that bro yeah trevor i enjoy you calling in dude 0.99

00:52:14.700 why don't you uh call you know call in on a regular basis bro i like talking to people that got got a

00:52:20.240 little bit of the idea going you know i'm saying it sounds like you're doing real good bro

00:52:23.360 well i appreciate that man absolutely i'd love to talk to you guys more i mean dj andy you guys

00:52:29.760 really providing a great service man i mean i've been listening to the podcast now for a little over

00:52:35.100 a year uh it's really changed a lot about how i approach things and how i think about things and

00:52:40.960 i've really you know really thankful for you guys doing this and putting the effort in man i mean

00:52:45.900 free of charge i mean i share the show absolutely with family friends but man i just i really appreciate

00:52:51.880 what you guys are doing here well bro we appreciate you too because the whole reason we do this is so

00:52:57.060 that people like you will go out and do exactly what you're doing so it's really cool to hear this

00:53:02.400 honestly dude like this makes my whole fucking day to be honest so uh i appreciate you bro thank you so 0.86

00:53:08.780 much uh thank you guys appreciate the time all right see you trevor yeah dude i i love that i was

00:53:16.400 gonna ask you i mean because it's very important like there has to be measurements right in life you

00:53:22.360 have to be able to measure uh your goals whatever it is your weight loss right you got to use your scale

00:53:27.580 so as a leader what is the measurement of a good leader like what is that unit of measurement for a 1.00

00:53:33.560 good leader i don't know i mean first of all winning i mean the fucking scoreboard are you fucking 0.99

00:53:38.660 winning yeah okay and different different teams have different cultures you know at the highest level 0.99

00:53:44.320 of anything business sports whatever organizations the scoreboard is the fucking i mean it's no one 0.99

00:53:52.400 you're expected to have all the other shit you know um as you get lower you know 0.99

00:54:00.560 there can be more room for development and growth and it's kind of like when someone starts to work 0.97

00:54:11.100 out with weights and they've never worked out before the amount of growth that they have right

00:54:15.520 in the beginning is is just a lot okay um and then when they become a peak athlete they can train

00:54:22.400 much harder and get diminishing returns and so when you're at the highest level you know the returns that

00:54:30.400 you see maybe not be as great but they really help sharpen performance to put points on the board

00:54:35.060 and i think that when you're you know when you're in the phase of leadership of development

00:54:40.100 i believe that yes points on the board are the most important things still but another metric that

00:54:46.660 must be considered is the growth of the individuals and the team in terms of development of skill sets

00:54:55.100 that they they need to win yeah you know so i you know it just depends on where you are you know 0.96

00:55:00.800 if you're coaching the fucking chiefs um you know they're someone you know drops five passes 0.97

00:55:09.480 you know it's it's not the conversation isn't oh well you dropped seven last year it's get the 1.00

00:55:14.620 fuck off the team you're not good enough okay but when you're in high school and you drop five passes 0.90

00:55:21.600 the conversation is a little different you know what i'm saying so well the stakes are different yeah 1.00

00:55:26.720 and it just depends on where you are you know we you know we're operating at the highest level here

00:55:33.800 now now we are at we have graduated to the point in our companies where it's you got to put up

00:55:38.360 okay but that doesn't mean that i don't that i stopped trying to develop doesn't mean i stopped

00:55:42.560 trying to teach but before we were you know like 10 years ago when we weren't here it was more so

00:55:48.520 taking people and developing and they had tremendous amounts of growth um it just depends on where

00:55:55.420 you're at what the culture of the team is and what you're doing but i think the ultimate the 0.91

00:55:59.620 ultimate measure of a great leader is always the fucking scoreboard okay it just is i love it dude 0.96

00:56:05.660 so and that scoreboard could look different if you're a teacher that scoreboard might be how many 0.98

00:56:10.920 of the kids uh graduated at a certain percentage right uh how many went on to be successful how many

00:56:16.600 went on to do this if you're the coach of a football team in high school how many of your players

00:56:20.520 went on to college how many graduated it's it's i guess what i'm saying is is that it just depends 0.94

00:56:26.020 yeah you know what i mean but whatever your school i will say this you gotta be fucking points on it i 0.97

00:56:29.840 will say this great leaders in my opinion value the scoreboard and the development of their team and 0.97

00:56:36.280 they look at what the scoreboard says what the growth of their team is and if they're really good

00:56:43.340 leaders they they they look at that growth across all spectrums of that person's life they try to

00:56:48.280 develop that into a high character high functioning high contributing human in society that doesn't

00:56:55.180 mean they're going to be perfect that doesn't mean that they're going to have not going to have flaws

00:56:58.860 you know a lot of times when people hear certain leaders talk they think that that leader is you

00:57:05.780 know presenting themselves as holier than thou when in reality there is no perfection there's always

00:57:12.880 going to be weak points in people's lives and you know that's called being a human um and a great

00:57:22.300 leader will try to help people work through those things um in my opinion uh 360 in their life you know 0.96

00:57:29.380 i'm saying hey hey hey bro uh look dude you've been here it's fucking it's you have three kids at home 0.98

00:57:36.620 you've been here every day for two weeks till 10 o'clock and i know it's because you got three kids at 1.00

00:57:41.300 home you're right get your fucking ass home right you know i'm saying so right it's there's a lot of 0.99

00:57:46.880 that kind of stuff you know hey you good well i could tell you i could tell you're you know a little 1.00

00:57:51.840 off what's slipping what's going on you know like that's not in your character these are these are the

00:57:56.800 kind of things and it can't be fake you have to actually care it can't be like lip service they

00:58:02.460 can fucking feel it oh yeah you know you know do you know when you're being sold absolutely so do they 0.74

00:58:06.740 so you got to be genuine dude and i think most of the things in life like we talk about this a lot 0.98

00:58:12.060 being a great salesperson being great at speaking being great at uh a leadership being great at running 0.55

00:58:19.140 a company these all start with the proper intent because people can fucking feel it you know what 0.90

00:58:24.400 i'm saying so um yeah i mean it's the metric is uh it's different for everybody you know i'm saying

00:58:33.680 like like like coach wooden who's the most successful basketball coach the most successful

00:58:38.500 coach of all time you know he he didn't just look at his victory as the points on the board

00:58:44.660 i mean he started with like hey this is how we're going to put our socks on this is how we're going

00:58:49.920 to put our shoes on this is how we're going to run the drills and he would gauge success not off the 0.65

00:58:55.860 scoreboard but off the fucking the the effectiveness of the discipline during the practice which is why the 0.95

00:59:01.960 points appeared on the scoreboard right same thing nick saban does nick saban talks about 0.97

00:59:06.240 you know we're not going to practice till we get it right we're going to practice till we cannot get 0.87

00:59:10.160 it wrong that's a complete different fucking standard that most people don't understand and 0.91

00:59:15.100 when you are of the uh leader when you are in a leadership position and you want to really build a 0.98

00:59:24.100 great team you've got you've got to push them to the point where they're not going to fuck it up 0.93

00:59:28.340 it's become second nature it's breathing it's it's it's automatic you know it's tying your shoes

00:59:33.540 you know what i mean yeah absolutely dude well that's some gas for monday bro yeah yeah man

00:59:39.300 all right so uh yeah we'll see you tomorrow right yes sir all right all right guys you know the deal 0.98

00:59:44.940 uh don't be a hoe share the show went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole 1.00

00:59:53.000 fuck a stove counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold 1.00

00:59:59.700 doesn't know headshot case closed 1.00

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 25, 2025

927. Q&AF： Prioritizing Yourself, Outgrowing Old Circles & Good To Great Leadership

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 25, 2025

927. Q&#x26;AF： Prioritizing Yourself, Outgrowing Old Circles &#x26; Good To Great Leadership

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

927. Q&AF： Prioritizing Yourself, Outgrowing Old Circles & Good To Great Leadership