REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 941. Q&AF： Boundaries With Parents, Asking For Help & Exploring Purpose Late In Life

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.080 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys

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00:02:45.200 share the show all right what's going on man nothing dude yeah what's up with you oh you know just

00:02:52.040 another beautiful day getting uh getting lots of great deep sleep are you you look like you're still

00:02:59.420 asleep well i'm fucked right now why were you up all night with the kid bro was she screaming and

00:03:04.340 shit bro there's just something that happens between like 3 a.m and 7 a.m what's that she

00:03:10.580 didn't fucking sleep i don't know what it is she's just fucking we're all on like that screaming up

00:03:15.060 uh addison was a little bit it was given addison vibes for sure like addison didn't she was hard

00:03:21.060 wasn't she bro addison did not sleep through the night until she was like nine months old yeah i

00:03:25.960 remember that oh that was hard yeah i'm just getting getting those vibes very early right now

00:03:31.260 yeah that sucks yeah but uh no man it's good it's good you know um we're here yeah i'll make it work

00:03:37.280 yeah um let's start off with a call let's uh let's get rubio on the phone get rubio

00:03:44.940 hello rubio what's up man

00:03:55.960 what's going on is this uh is this dj this is dj no this is your conscience

00:04:00.380 oh okay what's going on man uh nothing much nothing much it's uh is the big man there too

00:04:08.760 no it was just me calling yeah yeah dj is calling to see if you want to get something to eat bro

00:04:13.200 okay yeah what's up brother how are you i'm good how are you gentlemen doing we're doing good man

00:04:20.880 just sitting in here uh talking about how we're gonna actually help people that's right so uh

00:04:28.800 what's going on with you where you at right on i'm uh i'm calling in from uh california unfortunately

00:04:34.640 okay we're at in california uh philmore it's a small town ventura county area

00:04:40.400 i don't know where that is yeah where is that north or like northern cali that's uh so cal area

00:04:47.280 oh okay yeah a little ways from los angeles there you go that's good good weather

00:04:51.620 what can we help you with brother what you got going on

00:04:56.080 so i've got a little bit of a dilemma um so just to give background to the

00:05:03.440 to the story as of right now i'm calling you i'm 19 years of age going on a 20 here

00:05:10.840 and i decided from a young age that i didn't want my life to be ordinary started listening to the show

00:05:16.900 probably like 17 super super motivated all my buddies on it some of them kind of listened to it

00:05:22.720 some of them didn't uh got my father into it and what ended up happening was i decided up and going

00:05:29.180 join the military and i sit now stand now as a united states marine and i decided i liked my job

00:05:37.700 at the time i was working as a shop fan i've always liked dirty work always like getting my hands dirty

00:05:42.720 just i've always wanted to build myself to uh be a better man and be an example for when i do

00:05:48.660 eventually have a son and i was sitting there at work one day and i i knew that i just i i had to

00:05:55.460 go find out if i could make it through boot camp but i knew that financially i wanted something bigger

00:06:01.440 for myself so i didn't sign active duty i went at reserves so i could come back and ultimately make

00:06:06.600 more money here and that's what i did and i noticed as the years went on when i started making

00:06:12.800 more money that my parents started treating me a little bit differently so just to give reference

00:06:18.240 um beforehand obviously i wasn't paying rent i wasn't really doing much because of the young age

00:06:23.020 and up when i hit 18 that's when they kind of started charging me rent uh me and my sister both

00:06:29.020 were paying right around 200 nothing crazy hit 19 and that's right when my rent went up

00:06:35.920 and my sister being that she got herself in debt at a young age um they cut her completely off

00:06:42.200 stopped her from paying rent and they charged me more which i thought was a little strange but

00:06:47.320 i kind of said whatever do it and my father has always had a good been good with finances

00:06:55.040 been good at making money up until recently he started focusing more on spending money than keeping it

00:07:02.060 and he makes good money the only issue is that he spends more than he makes and he's got himself

00:07:08.460 into some debt and he's talked about me taking over his payments he got a motorcycler he likes i like

00:07:13.780 motorcycles but i personally don't buy anything that i can't afford so i have no debt and i plan on

00:07:20.420 keeping it that way the only issue is when he gets injured he usually looks at me for money and

00:07:26.600 recently he borrowed a decent amount of money for me around three thousand dollars which he ended up

00:07:32.840 paying me back eventually slowly but my biggest issue is right now as i said he's he's pretty motivated

00:07:40.880 i think he's kind of just on the addiction of motivation rather than action because he's right

00:07:47.120 around 320 pounds ish five foot seven 39 years old and i think he can still get out of his situation

00:07:56.580 the only issue is that he has a hard time listening to people and i want to sit down and have a

00:08:02.880 conversation with him appropriately without him getting upset with me or emotional because he

00:08:07.020 seems to get that way or without even bringing up kicking me out because like i said for his age and

00:08:13.320 that weight i don't imagine he'll make it much longer and he's been super motivated by you andy with

00:08:18.000 your story being your weight the only issue is like i said he doesn't really listen to people

00:08:23.460 he has a hard time understanding things not so much because he doesn't understand that it's an

00:08:29.220 issue but because he's always been uh it's not that easy kind of person which i mean i've tried

00:08:35.860 to convince him otherwise but by the looks of it in the long run he gets injured i'm going to be

00:08:41.500 taking on a lot of his debt which i don't want to and it's going to fall on me ultimately the house

00:08:47.740 i've recently found out same thing my mother has a decent amount of debt and she's kind of turned

00:08:52.840 to me for money which of course i don't want to say no to her but i found out she was slowly taking

00:08:58.020 money from me through my bank account which i had to have a conversation with her about and she tried

00:09:03.380 kind of hiding it for me and i just i want to know how i can approach him with this situation in

00:09:10.060 appropriate manner because i do care about him and i want him to be here in the long run for when i build

00:09:15.560 my future but i also don't want his decisions now to not allow me to start my future because

00:09:22.620 he's going to take that from me ultimately with his debt and like i said i just want to make sure

00:09:28.080 he's around and for the for the rate he's going at now the doctors are telling him he's not gonna

00:09:32.700 he's not gonna live much longer well i mean he's five seven what'd you say three twenty

00:09:37.480 yes sir and he's he's 37 39 39 you're absolutely correct uh he's not going to be around very much

00:09:47.280 longer if he doesn't take care of that that's the truth you don't see old obese people like that you

00:09:52.020 don't see that um typically you know these people die before they get old and um yeah that's that's

00:10:02.700 just part of the equation let me ask you this what's your outcome what's your ideal outcome of

00:10:09.960 that conversation my ideal outcome is that he starts putting on the work with me again i mean

00:10:18.480 when he was 270 not too long ago he was going to the gym with me i would go help him out at work

00:10:25.040 because i mean ultimately i wanted to start working with him so i got all my certifications i got my

00:10:30.300 class a license my cdo and i wanted to work with him the only issue is nobody wants to hire me

00:10:35.260 because i'm young but that's not important with the conversation and we were going to the gym

00:10:40.720 everything was going good and he was motivated he's like you're going to come work with me all this stuff

00:10:44.660 and then he up and got injured and saw that as a as a permanent roadblock and like i said ended up

00:10:52.080 putting on another 50 pounds okay and let me ask you this a couple things here what what kind of work

00:10:59.040 are you guys doing so he's a crane operator okay he kind of just uh sits in the crane does his thing

00:11:06.120 but when i go help him we're we're actually walking around running around we're greasing the cranes i

00:11:11.240 like going to help him grease them so i get up under there and yeah it's a whole job and we were doing

00:11:16.480 this to about eight different cranes just yeah just because i want to get into the field of work

00:11:20.720 and then when we're working out i mean i take him to the gym with me and i run him through

00:11:26.080 my programs i tried running through the 75 hard which i mean he made it like halfway and then

00:11:32.500 saw a cupcake and that was it

00:11:34.640 and what do you want to do for yourself long term

00:11:39.300 for myself long term i ultimately want to build something i don't really care so much about the

00:11:46.320 financial portion i only care about money because everything in the world costs money and i understand

00:11:50.560 that you need it to an extent but i want to be able to build something that i can look at and be

00:11:54.720 proud of and something that overall helps people i'm not exactly sure what that is yet being that i am

00:12:00.620 i am still young yeah you don't have to have an answer right now yeah i was just curious

00:12:05.140 i was just curious yeah brother all right look man here's a there's a lot here um

00:12:11.860 let me start with the conversation that has to happen with your let me start with this okay your

00:12:19.920 parents shouldn't be taking money from you they shouldn't be taking money from your account

00:12:23.560 they shouldn't be making you feel guilty for not wanting to give them money that that's not okay

00:12:32.180 all right and you have to draw a boundary there um and it has to be real and sometimes

00:12:39.000 parents don't really understand that i don't know what that is i don't know why that is

00:12:44.600 but sometimes and i've talked to a lot of people parents have like this weird entitlement to their

00:12:51.440 children's success i was actually talking to a very well-known everybody knows them entrepreneur that

00:13:00.800 i'm friends with um about this exact issue yesterday uh about how

00:13:08.260 this person's parents felt entitled to the same thing and no matter what they did it was never enough

00:13:19.680 and the answer was always well you know that's nothing for you that's not the fucking point

00:13:26.780 okay like right the the point is i work my ass off for that and just because you know you think

00:13:34.200 that i've got all this shit coming out of my ears or whatever it doesn't matter it's not yours you

00:13:40.680 didn't fucking earn it and um that's a hard combo to have yeah well you've had to have it yeah i had

00:13:46.420 to have yeah i mean listen dude it's unfortunately some people only get it when you're a fucking mean as

00:13:52.680 fuck to them about it and then they'll finally stop but uh yeah dude it's it's reality man and i don't

00:13:59.680 know why parents feel that way i don't know i really don't um i don't know but that's neither here nor

00:14:08.880 there it's just reality and it seems like you've got a couple parents that think that way and uh that

00:14:14.780 has to be a real conversation of adults hey i'm an adult you're charging me rent i am happily paying it

00:14:22.680 that's the transaction you're not entitled you're not entitled to anything else you're not entitled

00:14:27.740 to more of that you can't just take my money yes we're family and i will gladly help you but i'm not

00:14:34.620 an endless stream of financial resources and that boundary needs to be set now brother because the

00:14:42.220 the older you get then the more money you make the worse that will get so that's a conversation in

00:14:49.740 itself that needs to be it's and i understand dude like you love your parents but that boundary has

00:14:54.880 to be set and it has to be firm um now let's get on to the conversation with your dad

00:15:01.400 that conversation should probably start just like any other meeting that you would have

00:15:10.300 i would sit down with i would ask him to sit down and meet with you not just try to catch him in the

00:15:18.480 middle of his day not just try to talk to him at dinner but i would ask him i would say hey dad um

00:15:25.960 can you meet me here at starbucks at noon or whatever i got something i really want to talk to you about

00:15:32.060 something that sets the expectation that this is not a normal conversation all right the reason that's

00:15:40.320 important is because you want them thinking ahead of time fuck i wonder what this is about this must

00:15:48.400 be serious and what will probably happen is they will say well just tell me now just tell me now and

00:15:53.940 you should say no that's i i want to sit down and have a talk about it it's it's very important to me

00:15:58.760 and do not give in when they try to get you to say what it is right now because you want him to think

00:16:06.280 about it until that time comes he's probably gonna listen to the show and know this but um

00:16:12.100 at the end of the day dude uh you sit down with them and you say hey dad look my outcome for this

00:16:18.980 meeting and then you state your outcome my outcome is i'm young i'm 19 years old i'm gonna grow up one

00:16:25.880 day i'm gonna be successful i'm gonna have a family and i would like you to be around for that

00:16:31.160 and right now this is the real truth you're not gonna be and you know you're not gonna be i know

00:16:37.440 you're not gonna be and the data says you're not gonna be and i love you man i like you're my whole

00:16:44.400 fucking life and i can't imagine you not being around when i get married or have kids because

00:16:49.700 food and drink had some sort of control over you and it's it's frustrating for me that you won't

00:16:59.800 take it serious enough to handle your business that that makes me wonder how much you actually

00:17:06.300 care about what i've got going on or even me and i think that's a real conversation because dude

00:17:13.260 i don't think he's thinking about that i don't think he's thinking like because we all by human

00:17:18.860 nature think oh it'll never happen to us it'll never happen to us it'll never happen to us until

00:17:22.740 it does and i know from being very overweight um and struggling with that my whole life that's the

00:17:32.080 story i would tell myself i would tell myself it's not as bad as i think it is other people are like

00:17:38.180 this it's normal um you know it's not that bad and i would tell myself all this shit and until i found

00:17:46.720 a bigger purpose that was outside of myself it was very hard for me to take serious and um

00:17:54.080 i would sit down i would have that conversation with them very frankly however it is that you

00:18:01.560 would like to deliver that message and at the end of the thing i would say dad

00:18:05.520 i would really appreciate if you if you did this for me and if you can't do it for you i would like

00:18:12.900 you to do it for me and my future kids because i want you around and um and and i would have that

00:18:20.160 conversation make that known and then i would also and this is an important thing dude i would also

00:18:27.180 be prepared for him to continue down the path that he's going to go down because here's the thing

00:18:35.560 we can't force people to lose weight we can't force people to take their shit serious we can't force

00:18:42.500 people to want to be financially successful we can't force people to want to be more than they

00:18:47.340 are but what we can do is point out the reality of what they are because most people do not see

00:18:55.440 themselves accurately for what they really are they look in the mirror they don't like what they see

00:19:02.080 they look at their bank account they don't like what they see they look at their family they don't

00:19:06.740 like what they see and then they tell themselves a shit ton of stories about why it is that way that

00:19:13.760 let them off the hook for having to deal with the actual problem so there's a good chance no matter

00:19:21.420 what you say or what you do that he will remain the same if right if i i would like to think that if i

00:19:31.700 had a son and he said that to me that that would that would disturb me enough to fucking take action

00:19:37.220 um but we just don't know and that's how i would handle it dude and the last thing i would say to

00:19:45.480 you is this um you got to run your own fucking race bro and we love our parents you know uh i get i get

00:19:55.540 this question a lot a lot of parents and i'm not saying this about yours i'm just saying this for

00:20:00.400 everybody else that's listening a lot of parents don't support their their children a lot of parents

00:20:05.620 get jealous when their children start to become more successful a lot of parents have to be cut

00:20:11.260 the fuck out of your life when you come from you know very meager means and your ambition is so big

00:20:21.080 it's it's it's weight that is hard to carry it's and it's it's not something that you can actually do

00:20:28.780 because to get to that point of where you want to go requires all of your effort all of your energy

00:20:34.720 all of your focus and you can't spend it dealing with people who are creating doubt who are pulling

00:20:41.420 you back who are asking you for things that aren't theirs who are like you just can't make time for

00:20:48.200 wasted energy and the truth of the matter is people are either contributing or pulling away

00:20:54.840 and to get where you're wanting to go you know to be successful sometimes it takes pulling away

00:21:02.340 from every single thing that distracts you and doesn't contribute and people hate that answer

00:21:08.520 they're like oh well that's not healthy well fuck bro you told me what you wanted i'm telling you what

00:21:13.620 it takes to get it's just reality and if you want to have relationships with negative people just

00:21:19.780 because you're related to them then your success will suffer that's reality um so that's what i got

00:21:29.080 for you man i know it's a difficult situation but you're a grown man um i think you need to present

00:21:37.640 yourself as a grown man to him it sounds like you do most of the time anyway and have him off site and

00:21:43.940 have a meeting and say hey this is this matters to me man and uh you know if if you don't do that

00:21:51.800 that's that's your choice but i'm just letting you know like i'm gonna go do these things you know

00:21:57.920 what i mean and um yeah i mean fuck it's a hard situation what do you think dude yeah no i mean 100

00:22:04.660 i think the most important piece on that is just being prepared if he doesn't choose to do anything

00:22:09.340 about it you know like like dude i look back on my life i had my first apartment at 17 i had no

00:22:13.940 choice yeah because i went through the whole thing like oh i'm gonna stay home with mom why you gotta

00:22:17.620 pay rent well i'm not here trying to build a life like and i gotta get you know i'm saying well i

00:22:21.520 might as well just get my own shit then yeah you know i'm saying i had to i had to prepare myself for

00:22:24.780 that and it is a tough thing man but like you said annie bro like rubio you got you have a life you

00:22:30.120 got to start running and and ultimately nobody else is responsible for that but you yeah you know so

00:22:36.040 as tough as those as tough as those decisions might be or conversations might be to have

00:22:40.540 like somebody's got to have them you know i think a lot of people have frustrations that other people

00:22:45.680 like it's it's a very weird dynamic when you're trying to like develop your own path in life

00:22:52.000 you know if you're ambitious and you want to create something and you want to build something

00:22:59.220 and become something that's rare most people don't most people i would say 97 percent of humanity

00:23:06.660 just wants to breathe air and exist and have the least amount of discomfort possible they don't care

00:23:14.360 if they get anything else and the three percent that do and i'm making these numbers up but that's

00:23:21.420 just my estimation those people you know they're never going to fit in man they're never going to fit

00:23:27.800 in with people who who who don't have that drive those people are never going to understand you

00:23:32.620 they're never going to relate to you they're never going to they're never going to support you the

00:23:36.760 way that you want because they don't fucking get it and we have all these young people who

00:23:42.340 try to curtail their existence to get the approval of these other people that aren't on the same path

00:23:49.400 not realizing that if you are that close to them where they understand you then you are that much

00:23:55.940 further from where you actually want to be so they shouldn't understand you they shouldn't get you

00:24:02.140 they shouldn't be able to fucking comprehend what it is you're trying to do and if they can then that

00:24:10.620 either means they came with you or you've put enough distance between you yourself and their ability to

00:24:16.480 comprehend that you were on the right path you know and um it's a different language it's a different

00:24:22.240 life it's a different fucking species and when we try to

00:24:26.160 mold ourselves into people that will be understood by people who have no ambition no drive no future

00:24:33.560 we're just taking away from our own success and our own dreams and our own reality and we do that a

00:24:39.140 lot because we think like well fuck i'm related to them or they're my mom or they're my dad or they're

00:24:45.100 my cousin or they're my this or that or this but dude at the end of the day it's not like they couldn't

00:24:50.200 go with you if they wanted to you can't fucking force them they have to want it and a lot of

00:24:56.300 people will get judged they'll say oh you forgot where you came from or you know you you uh you're

00:25:02.480 not humble anymore or you know you need to you need to remember you know who you are and all this

00:25:08.360 shit and they'll say all this shit and like you can look at them and be like well fuck dude uh i

00:25:12.420 didn't remember not inviting you to come with me you chose to stay there you know so that's the

00:25:18.140 reality man and um the good news is is if you do have to make those set those those uh severances

00:25:26.700 in your life they will be replaced later on by people who support what you're trying to do

00:25:32.300 and i can tell you this the the more successful you get the better your circle gets people think

00:25:39.840 that's rude it's it's reality dude successful people aren't doing fucked up shit usually okay they're

00:25:45.760 not out getting fucked up till four in the morning driving their car seven thousand miles an hour

00:25:50.820 they're they're not going to the bars all the time they're not doing destructive things and reality is

00:25:57.020 is most of the bad things that happen in people's lives come from hanging out with people who do those

00:26:02.820 things so you know you you start surrounding yourself with people who have goals ambitions dreams

00:26:10.100 desires um the hunger to build these people contribute man they help you every phone call you take is encouraging

00:26:19.360 every every conversation you have is about building and when you get to that point man it's it's like

00:26:26.220 it's like hard not to win because everybody expects you to win and then they're also pushing you to win

00:26:31.360 and they're also competing with you to win so you don't want to lose to them you know it's just a different

00:26:36.920 dynamic dude and you forget about all the other bullshit nah bro listen dude andrew tate said this

00:26:42.000 thing and i know people have mixed opinions of but i saw this clip of him and he fucking said and it was

00:26:46.980 fucking dead dead on true he said every single time i've ever fucking got in trouble it was because i

00:26:53.780 was hanging around poor people and it was fucking true it's fucking true the shit that they fuck with

00:27:00.580 is not the same shit that ambitious driven hungry people fuck with it's truth completely different

00:27:07.160 risk yeah yeah that's real bro so that's real anyway um what do you think dude

00:27:13.360 i appreciate the words i appreciate the advice i'll definitely take it and try to sit down and have

00:27:21.920 that conversation with him but i've been i've tried to accept like you said the things that you told me

00:27:26.120 that are might happen might not happen i've tried to always keep myself in that mindset kind of just

00:27:31.660 uh not expecting a whole lot and just uh trying to put in more work than than i'm getting out but

00:27:37.420 i'm just i mean i'm a strong believer and you know you you you get what you put in so that's right

00:27:42.680 i mean at the end of the day i've kind of understood that i mean he didn't he didn't just wake up and

00:27:46.820 become 320 pounds right well i mean there's lots of reasons why he could be like that i mean look dude

00:27:53.420 we could all find reasons as to why our life is the way it is but at the end of the day here's the

00:27:58.780 reason he didn't move enough he ate the wrong shit he drank the wrong shit and that you know that's it

00:28:05.060 it's very simple so um you know that's his decision man and a lot of people you know like you say he's

00:28:13.540 inspired by me well fuck i might not i must not be doing a very good job but no i'm being serious

00:28:18.500 you know what i'm saying like you you shouldn't be able to justify five seven 320 pounds like you

00:28:25.860 shouldn't be that's not acceptable so i i i empathize with rubio here but you know you got to be prepared

00:28:35.540 it's real man that's real rubio we appreciate the time bro i appreciate you as well all right man

00:28:44.340 all right take care bro thank you guys yeah that that's a tough that's a tough spot to be in bro

00:28:51.900 there's a lot there yeah there's a lot there's a lot but i think the the other good part is though

00:28:56.900 just as as as easy as i guess it was to get in that position you can also get out of it by moving

00:29:03.720 putting the right shit in you know i'm saying like you know look man

00:29:08.120 the family thing is hard okay because it's all you ever know and then you decide what it is you

00:29:17.980 want it's so weird because you get encouraged when you're a kid hey you know you could be anything you

00:29:24.900 want by those same people by the same people dude and then you you go through school and as you get

00:29:30.860 older the conversation switches from you could be anything to you know okay now we got to get

00:29:36.860 realistic about what you want to be and it's like it's like yeah it's like bro were you bullshitting

00:29:41.320 me back then are you bullshitting me now you know what is it and then the conversation changes if you

00:29:46.960 to continue on that path that you always believe that you wanted to be more the conversation from

00:29:53.340 the same exact people that were telling you you could be anything is that you can't be that

00:29:59.720 you're right you know and it's like it's this hard thing to deal with when it comes from people

00:30:05.420 that you've always looked at to be your source of of guidance and unfortunately you know people

00:30:12.840 have a really hard time with their own egos when their children's goals are bigger than theirs and

00:30:20.600 the truth of the matter is that's the point like if if you're a parent out there and you're like

00:30:25.620 somewhat jealous of what your kid's doing versus what you did um you need to check your fucking

00:30:31.880 self bro because that's the point the point is they're supposed to do better the point is you're

00:30:36.540 supposed to put them in a position to do better and just because they start doing better doesn't mean

00:30:41.300 that they owe you fucking money that's what you're supposed to do as a parent it's no different than

00:30:48.900 someone who comes into my office and i show up on time yeah no shit i work hard yeah no shit so

00:30:58.600 you know it's a it's a frustrating thing and a lot of people struggle with it mentally bro because

00:31:04.500 the emotional bonds that have been created over that time right well i think what it is bro is

00:31:08.660 the parents realizing that they didn't like yeah they fucked up is them coming to the reality like

00:31:13.540 i did not prepare them to be that fucking president or a future doctor i didn't i fell short so now i

00:31:19.240 gotta try to reel them back in and fuck up their confidence before i send them out into this real world

00:31:23.580 that i didn't prepare them for you think that's what it is i don't i think a lot of parents don't care

00:31:27.140 i think a lot of parents are jealous i think a lot of parents are fucking jealous they state they

00:31:34.180 think they think that success is what they've done you know what i'm saying and they can't fathom

00:31:43.360 a success for their own child that is outside the realm of that they have a very hard time with it

00:31:48.980 that's some fucked up shit man it's the truth yeah it's the truth think of it you live your whole life

00:31:54.340 you become a mechanic which is a great thing by the way okay let's just say you become a mechanic

00:32:00.880 but then your kid grows up and not only do they become a mechanic they end up creating their own

00:32:08.820 car and starting their own car company and making a trillion dollars doing it now all of a sudden

00:32:14.540 that person who was just a mechanic starts feeling like well this isn't good enough for you my life's

00:32:20.040 not good enough for you it's like an ego thing you know and so when kids start to outperform their

00:32:25.580 parents not good parents but shitty parents start to try to fucking hold them back and that's why i

00:32:31.400 tell all these youngers these youngsters i'm like bro sometimes you got to cut these motherfuckers out

00:32:36.220 you got to ask yourself what do you want do you want do you want a relationship with a toxic parent

00:32:41.500 or a toxic family or do you want to fucking win yeah yeah it's a very simple choice to have man

00:32:49.420 i love it man well let's keep i think the mistake bro that a lot of people make is underestimating what

00:32:56.300 it takes to win they don't understand they don't understand that it fucking at least for an amount of

00:33:02.160 time it takes everything you know what i'm saying like everything you cannot afford to have negativity

00:33:08.380 you cannot afford to have people in your life no matter who they are no matter what their last name

00:33:12.080 is telling you that you can't or you shouldn't or you won't they got is people got to be behind you

00:33:18.200 or you got to be alone and that's it it's too hard bro it's too hard winning is not normal it's not

00:33:26.240 this normal thing it's extraordinary it's out of the ordinary it is it's exceptional and there's been

00:33:34.520 this like watering down of what it actually takes to win by culture and society and you know with

00:33:42.320 this balanced shit and all this you could do you can't fucking do it all man you can't do it all

00:33:47.220 if you're going to have this overly balanced day-to-day life you're the amount of money you earn is

00:33:51.420 probably going to be a lot less and that's okay but you need to understand that you got to be okay

00:33:56.500 with that's right yeah yeah it's just it's just a balance bro and you know people will judge you

00:34:02.600 for it you know they'll they'll if you don't make enough money they'll say you're a broke loser

00:34:06.420 if you make too much money they'll say all you care about is money you know what i'm saying like

00:34:10.700 they're gonna fucking you're bad parents yeah that's about sir oh bro they'll say to you know

00:34:14.840 because i don't have kids well he doesn't have any kids so he's totally unhappy like you don't

00:34:19.700 fucking know what i like right you don't know that i you know what i'm saying like everybody's

00:34:23.780 poking a hole into everything that everybody else has or does and you've got to have earmuffs in

00:34:28.720 and and just not care they're gonna poke holes regardless huh they're gonna poke holes regardless

00:34:33.760 yeah fuck dude no matter what no matter you know i love it you could be you could you could walk on

00:34:39.680 fucking water bro and you could cure cancer you could do all this shit there's still gonna be

00:34:44.580 motherfuckers that don't like you they're gonna say oh yeah well he walked on water but he didn't fly

00:34:49.720 yeah right right you know yeah he cured cancer but fuck it took long enough yeah right right you know

00:34:55.540 it's it's just like it's just losership bro most people here's the truth most people are losers

00:35:00.180 i don't know what to tell you yeah i love it man i love it let's get another uh let's get another

00:35:05.880 question rolling man um we got uh let's get chadrick let's give him a call shall we chadrick

00:35:16.600 hello hello is this chadrick yes sir what's going on man what up andy oh

00:35:29.480 wrong black guy yeah no this is dj

00:35:34.080 my fault guys what's up brother how are you hey andy i'm doing good man how about you

00:35:43.040 good where are you calling from i am calling from chevyville tennessee chevyville chevyville

00:35:49.640 all right where's that i've never heard that's so many places i haven't heard of yeah where's

00:35:53.200 chevyville hey hey i'm i'm not gonna lie to you we have like a population of like i don't even know

00:36:00.100 but we're like a small town we're uh down south of nashville we're like an hour and maybe 30 minutes

00:36:06.720 away from him all right all right yeah it's called bedford county okay uh we actually have

00:36:14.320 one of the largest bars in the whole world uncle nearest what's it called uncle nearest oh like the

00:36:21.760 whiskey yeah we have it's it's in my town oh it's on the outskirts of it yeah it's like really closer

00:36:28.600 to it's like in between murfreesboro and chevyville but it's like one of the biggest bars in the whole

00:36:33.560 world uncle what uncle nearest yeah it's over it's a whiskey uh yeah yeah oh that's that's sick

00:36:40.960 it's pretty cool all right well guys i'm really excited i'm really excited i'm really nervous at

00:36:46.420 the same time so ah brother hey we're just some normal fucking dudes bro you don't have to be

00:36:50.700 nervous we're here to help i know i know that yeah so what's up what you got going on all right man

00:36:56.760 i'll give you a little history of my life so um whenever i'll take it way back so you can understand

00:37:05.360 my perspective and what i'm what i'm trying to do so whenever i was 12 to 13 my dad passed away um

00:37:13.080 i thought football i thought sports i thought all that was going to get me somewhere um it didn't

00:37:18.400 because my coach took all the film whenever he moved from one high school to the other and he was

00:37:23.380 just worried about you know doing whatever he was doing so um set off into the world and uh you know

00:37:31.240 did everything i needed to do right now in this situation in this current you know my current life

00:37:36.120 right now i am 29 years old um about two years ago i lost my mom to cancer my brother to a wreck

00:37:44.440 now in my whole life all i have is my sister that's it just my sister so uh i was i was thinking to

00:37:53.120 myself you know i don't have too many people now because you know my life has been like it has

00:37:59.440 and uh and i was you know i'm i'm making a brand and a product for myself as well right now and uh

00:38:07.400 you know it's a it's like a hydration pouch so i am trying to not act like i don't want to ask for

00:38:19.940 somebody's help because i've always been the person to do it myself and to pursue something

00:38:25.940 myself because i don't know asking for help kind of makes me feel like i'm kind of like you know

00:38:32.100 making myself weaker and the grind is not as hard as you know what i'm trying to search for if that

00:38:39.560 makes sense so i mean it's just it's just it's kind of hard especially whenever you don't you know

00:38:47.880 i'm doing it myself so i just i'm i'm trying to get somebody else's perspective of they've already

00:38:56.120 been there and i don't have people like that in my town that will tell me what i need to hear

00:39:01.100 how it needs to be okay so that's go ahead that's why i'm i'm reaching out because like i said i i've

00:39:12.700 contacted multiple multiple people multiple and i don't hear nothing back and i'm just like okay

00:39:19.180 so should i i i don't know where else to go so i did submit my question and i just wanted to

00:39:26.700 do you want to i'll i'll give you the question if you want me to yeah that's what i'm here for

00:39:32.040 brother all right all right it says i've always had i've always prided myself on figuring things

00:39:38.640 out on my own but i know there's value in learning from people who've already done what i'm working

00:39:44.560 towards the challenge for me is this how do you ask for help without feeling like you're giving

00:39:51.520 up the edge that comes from grinding it out yourself part of me feels like asking makes me

00:39:58.260 weaker but another part of me knows it could make me sharper i'd really appreciate your perspective on

00:40:05.380 that okay first of all man um i'm sorry to hear about your family that is that's very tough um very

00:40:14.380 very tough yeah here here's here's what i want you to hear all right you do not need anybody else's

00:40:28.620 validation or permission to start this business and go do what it is that you see in your mind

00:40:36.660 okay if you have a vision for what you're trying to accomplish it is very important that you dedicate

00:40:44.840 yourself to that vision now when we are just starting out and it doesn't matter if you're 18 or 30 or 50

00:40:54.200 we have this thing as humans because we don't know what we don't know and when we've never been

00:41:03.220 successful at anything we imagine that there's boundaries that exist that do not exist for me

00:41:11.560 when i was young i used to think like this my internal dialogue would be

00:41:18.560 man i hope one day i'm one of these people that gets chosen to be successful i hope one day i'm one

00:41:27.340 of these people that gets lucky enough to be successful i hope one day and i would see it as

00:41:33.160 like this thing that i call the success fairy and when i visualized it in my head it was like

00:41:39.600 there's imagine a group of people and then like this fucking fairy flies down and taps certain people

00:41:46.620 on the head and those people somehow get the path to success and end up making it and it's not true

00:41:54.160 it's complete bullshit and we believe that because we have never been successful and we've never been

00:42:02.700 in the proximity of people who are very successful the best gift that any of you who are listening to

00:42:10.520 the show can give yourself is to be in the proximity of someone who has built something massive so you can

00:42:18.560 see how normal and how much in common you actually have with those people because we at the beginning

00:42:26.280 sort of idolize these people or build them up or imagine that they have these superpowers and dude

00:42:35.380 they don't okay and i know it feels that way when you're just starting so you need to clear out this

00:42:45.160 belief system that you have that there's some sort of gatekeeping or you know there's some sort of rule

00:42:51.580 or club or code or committee that is going to invite you to be successful they're not going to

00:43:00.320 no one's coming to chevyville tennessee to find you and say guess what you get to be successful

00:43:10.120 you have to fucking understand this dude because this idea that's based in our identity that we grew up

00:43:19.440 around has to be broken before we can actually be successful we have to break out of that thinking

00:43:26.320 when you've grown up a certain way in a certain style in a certain household with a certain income

00:43:32.300 with a certain mentality that means that's going to be your identity bro and as you grow that identity is

00:43:40.920 going to have to give way to a new identity that is in line with who you're trying to become before you

00:43:48.620 actually become it so i challenge you brother to start thinking of yourself already as a successful

00:43:56.060 man as a strong man as someone who can create anything and make anything happen because you can

00:44:03.240 i'm just telling you bro you can there's nothing out here above you that's ever going to stop you

00:44:11.640 from doing that outside of the actions that you take even if you start to build this hydration pouch

00:44:18.340 and you get up against andy frisella who owns first form and they've got unlimited access to

00:44:25.840 marketing funds and this and that and this and i say fuck it i'm gonna fucking hammer this guy with

00:44:31.200 like dude there's still a way to fucking get around that and beat those people so yeah bro there's no

00:44:37.600 limits dude and i just my thing hearing you talk is what i could tell is that you're still stuck in

00:44:44.560 that identity of how you where you came from and you need to break into this new identity brother

00:44:50.960 and that new identity is going to be you being the best version of yourself the fit the most fit that

00:44:59.140 you can uh the smartest that you can be the most effective that you can be the the kindest that you

00:45:06.320 can be the most savage that you can be all right and you have to become the product before the product

00:45:13.560 can help you build the life and um you have it dude you have it you've just gotta you know you've

00:45:20.560 got to understand it makes sense for you not to understand what it's like because you've never

00:45:26.040 lived it it makes sense for you to not understand that you can do these things because how many

00:45:30.980 fucking people have you met in real life that are just like you that have done these things it's not

00:45:36.400 very common and that's the gift of the internet we were talked in the beginning of the show

00:45:41.800 about how the internet can be damaging to people because it makes them feel demoralized you know

00:45:47.400 we see these 25 year old kids scamming people and driving lamborghinis and shit all the time but also

00:45:53.420 bro if you pick the right people to look at you can learn tremendous amounts of information

00:46:00.260 you keep your head down you build shit and eventually all the things you want will come your way

00:46:07.600 and the internet provides a tremendous value to young men like you because you can find those

00:46:14.120 people dude yes you're going to have to filter through the fucking idiots yes you're going to

00:46:18.580 have to recognize that there's a lot of bullshit out there but there are people who have built real

00:46:24.240 products real businesses who do real things that can help keep you on track and obviously you listen

00:46:30.340 to the show and i'm one of them um yes so you're like my top one well brother i appreciate that but

00:46:37.180 i just try to keep it real with you guys because you know for me man you know this is more than just

00:46:44.080 about me this is about our next generation of entrepreneurs understanding that they have to

00:46:49.180 not only be successful but they at you when you are successful have to take on my role with your team

00:46:56.680 you have to become their coach you have to become their brother you have to become their dad you

00:47:00.900 have to become their advisor you have to help them personally develop and to your point about

00:47:06.720 yeah bro you have to you have to do it for your fucking company and and to your point about

00:47:13.620 the pridefulness that you have about asking for help let me make you understand something i had a lot

00:47:22.340 of motherfucking people that helped me bro okay when you hear that my story and you hear all these

00:47:28.200 fucking people's story and they say oh i grounded it out by myself and nobody ever fucking bullshit

00:47:35.920 okay one of the reasons that i give back so much is because i was fortunate enough to have people in

00:47:42.760 my life that took an interest in my development and helped me they told me the things that i needed to

00:47:49.260 hear they told me the truth in fact if you listen to the last cti my uncle john who just passed away

00:47:55.860 was one of my biggest mentors in that in that realm of existence if i did something stupid he said i was

00:48:02.940 fucking stupid if i was giving up on myself he said dude what are you doing you could do this and this

00:48:08.420 and this and i want you to understand dude there isn't the weakness is you refusing to ask for help

00:48:17.720 that's the weakness that's your ego that's your hubris that's your pride these are things that

00:48:25.520 will kill you in success success is a team effort bro it will you cannot do it on your own nobody that

00:48:33.760 you've seen build anything that you look i've got my brother who's fucking genius i've got jason

00:48:41.000 fucking genius i've got chris fucking genius i've got a team out here that is all made up of young

00:48:48.760 smart hungry people that give a fuck bro i'm surrounded by greatness okay it's not just me

00:48:55.840 all right and you have to understand like if i had gone through life thinking fuck dude i don't need

00:49:01.800 their help i don't need this i can't ask for this or i'm a pussy bro i wouldn't have that i wouldn't have

00:49:07.020 any of that and yes sir you know my friends that i hang around bro these are successful people that

00:49:12.900 the people i spend uh my time with on the phone they're successful entrepreneurs we collaborate we

00:49:19.880 work together we we don't gatekeep we we realize because this is what true champions realize true

00:49:26.520 champions want their competitors to be better because they understand that if that competitor gets

00:49:31.900 better that they will rise to the occasion and become better themselves and surrounding yourself

00:49:38.500 with the best fucking people possible whether they work for you whether they're an acquaintance or a

00:49:44.340 friend or even in the beginning sometimes you gotta you know pay for access to people like that

00:49:50.040 uh with the right people not the fucking wrong ones and once you start to develop that dude

00:49:56.240 you start to realize and the picture becomes very clear that you're not the only one bro

00:50:01.560 you know i'm sure you feel that way because you're in a small town in the middle of tennessee and

00:50:06.800 people are kind of going about their way of life which is great dude there's lots of times where i'm

00:50:11.280 like fuck i wish i just lived in a small town and fucking sat on my porch and smoked fucking cones all

00:50:16.340 day like that's right that'd be great but you know i would be bored with that in about fucking five

00:50:22.700 seconds so um listen brother i do have something to say though yeah can i can yes sir so i have been

00:50:33.840 grinding i wouldn't say busy but productive yeah i like productive over busy any day so

00:50:41.940 i have actually continued with this product and now i'm at the reason why i'm asking why i asked that

00:50:51.980 question is because now i'm at the final stages of it i'm at the final stages of putting it out there

00:50:59.380 like like having it in my hand my logo my can everything i've already got my samples i paid for

00:51:08.480 that i've already i've already did everything everything i need to do with this with this

00:51:14.940 hydration pouch and i don't mean no pouches that you put in your water i'm talking like a dip pouch

00:51:21.460 yeah like like a zen like a like a fucking uh yeah i get it a zen yeah like a zen like what do

00:51:27.620 they call one of those pouches that you you do i usually call them tampons oh i don't do those

00:51:31.600 you fuck of course the dip pouches yeah the dip pouches what are they called yeah like

00:51:39.660 yeah i made up my own formula i made up my own logo i made up my own name and you know

00:51:50.420 i base it off you man your your perspective of everything i i come from you um you motivated me

00:51:58.120 now it's just stuck because i'm in a place to where well they need this much but i have all these

00:52:07.120 stores that want it all right bro what they want for it is what's got me stuck what's that that makes

00:52:15.900 sense what they they they want it cheap and not no not cheap but to get the product with my logo

00:52:25.160 and my everything on it the way i want it with everything to be my in my perspective they want

00:52:32.460 so much for it and now they will give me so many cans for it oh oh you're lacking seed capital is what

00:52:39.440 you're saying exactly because i don't have like i said i don't really have people to ask because i

00:52:47.860 mean i've done everything my my own uh i've already like i said i already have samples already tried

00:52:53.300 flavors um i paid for that myself um i mean i work a full-time job at o'reilly's which is not good

00:53:01.740 because i know i can be better than that um brother i'll do brother and i work at a liquor

00:53:07.840 store too brother and i've been there for five years just so you know that just so you know i

00:53:12.760 worked fucking multiple jobs the first eight years that i is that you yes you inspired me to do that

00:53:19.420 yes like and uh i just didn't know well i don't know it was just i i just knew you did that because

00:53:28.340 i heard i hear it you know every day well here's your options let me give you the options one you go

00:53:36.280 out and find an investor and you sell them part of the you get them to become a partner he has to put

00:53:41.280 cash in you run the business okay two um you can actually go to uh take one of these stores get a

00:53:50.460 small amount of product made and start one at a time bro keeping your books completely clean

00:53:56.100 that's what we did all right and yes it took us a little bit longer but now we own everything

00:54:01.980 you know so we we've got a debt-free company that you know makes it extremely extremely valuable

00:54:09.200 um you could you could find that same investor and give them get them to give you a loan um

00:54:16.460 but at the end of the day bro let's say you don't get any fucking help at all

00:54:20.640 you know you're gonna have to generate let's just say hardest possible route hardest possible route

00:54:26.100 is going to be you working your jobs saving your money to the point where you can order the product

00:54:35.540 in enough quantity to sell it at one store okay and then you're just gonna have to roll that out

00:54:43.920 and roll that out and roll that out and be very disciplined that's how we built our business that's

00:54:48.960 how everything that you see that i've done that we've done that that we did it that way uh it just

00:54:56.780 takes longer but with social media with everything that's going on it can go a lot faster for you than

00:55:04.620 it could for us um the next the next best way and by the way the hardest way is usually the best way

00:55:13.280 the reason that that's the best way is because once you go out and make this start to happen you're

00:55:19.220 going to own the entire company now with that being said the next best way would be for you to get

00:55:28.020 someone to loan you the money that you pay back but i would caution against that for where you're

00:55:35.040 at right now because your concept as much as you believe in it has yet to be proven and here's the

00:55:41.260 problem with taking money too fast if you take money too fast you end up losing it you end up in a debt

00:55:47.600 that you have no way to get out of and that becomes a major problem we see this a lot with small

00:55:53.920 businesses because a lot of these knuckleheads on the internet tell people to go get fucking debt

00:55:58.560 right away go get a loan right away get an investor right away when they don't understand the fundamentals

00:56:03.740 of actually running the business and what these people typically do almost every single time is they

00:56:10.580 think they can hit a home run and we see this mentality even as high as super bowl commercials

00:56:17.640 every year we see super bowl commercials for companies that spend eight million dollars for a

00:56:24.780 30 second fucking spot and then we never hear from them again and the reason that happens is because

00:56:31.360 people think that they can capture customers in these gigantic groups without brand recognition which

00:56:39.640 you cannot do because all that ad spend that you spend on that super bowl that's only one impression

00:56:46.960 to people so if they're unfamiliar with your brand it's not enough for them to make a purchase

00:56:52.560 so i need you to remember you are a small business with limited resources which means you are going to

00:57:02.020 have to obey the rule of one customer at a time and one customer at a time is the only way that i know

00:57:12.940 how to grow a business it's the truth um what happens when these small guys get money is they will say

00:57:20.500 okay let's say they got let's just say for simplicity you get a hundred thousand dollar loan

00:57:25.020 they'll take eighty thousand dollars of the loan and they'll put it towards marketing but yet they don't

00:57:32.060 know how to service the customer they don't have the systems in place for fulfillment they don't have

00:57:37.960 the systems in place for reordering and they here's what happens customers order the product

00:57:43.680 they don't get the right service it takes a long time there's you know there's things that happen

00:57:49.940 along the experience that make the person say to everybody else hey i tried that product and the

00:57:55.520 fucking company sucks everybody makes this fucking mistake i would say 97 of small entrepreneurs make

00:58:03.220 this mistake yes sir you have to be ready to do the proper ad spend which means and i want you to

00:58:11.880 think about it like this okay think about a bucket visualize yourself having a bucket and in the bucket

00:58:17.740 the bottom of the bucket there's a whole bunch of holes okay and the bucket represents your company

00:58:25.360 you go out and you spend money to acquire a bunch of customers those customers come

00:58:33.060 they look at your brand they go in your bucket they buy the product but then they fall out the

00:58:37.800 bottom okay and the reason they fall out the bottom was because of what i just said they got bad service

00:58:43.260 bad fulfillment they didn't get an answer back it took too long a million other things okay and the

00:58:50.920 experience wasn't good and it takes time for an entrepreneur to make that experience where it needs to be

00:59:00.380 so that the holes in the bucket get stopped and that way when you have the customers going in

00:59:06.280 then you have repeat customers over and over and over again and now you have customers advocating for

00:59:12.040 you telling people how awesome your brand is and that's where the scaling can start to happen

00:59:18.000 so until you're to that point where you can accumulate customers without them falling out of the bucket

00:59:24.520 if you go spend money all you're doing is paying for people to notice how shitty your business is

00:59:32.460 and then going and telling everybody about it so it's the exact opposite of what you're trying to

00:59:38.060 create and fucking everybody does it bro because they want to hit that home run they want to hit that

00:59:43.700 grand slam they want to be the 25 year old with the lamborghini like it just doesn't work that way bro

00:59:50.220 um so my advice to you would be to start small to be smart to work and use your own capital

01:00:02.780 to get a small amount of product that you then test your your ads and your marketing and by the way

01:00:10.240 you need to be on the fucking street in front you know in front of a table saying hey nice to meet you

01:00:16.220 this is what this does like you're going to have to become the best salesman that you can

01:00:20.480 and the best salesman is really comes down to you having the right intent i want to help you with

01:00:26.100 this problem let me solve this problem for you here's how we solve this problem and then you educate

01:00:31.720 them on it they go out and verify that what you told them was the truth they have an experience that

01:00:37.240 aligns with the message that you gave them they validate that you're telling them the truth and then

01:00:42.780 they start to trust you and as you build that trust with customers over the course of time

01:00:47.580 they actually become loyal and that's where you start to scale out your company organically

01:00:52.760 and when you get to that point when you throw paid behind it now you have something that's really

01:00:57.620 going to go does that make sense yes sir it does okay so you know listen man i know like i spent a lot

01:01:08.100 of time being very upset about not having a lot of capital when i started but where i'm at now

01:01:16.500 if i had a lot of capital when i started i wouldn't be who i am now that's that's the facts so uh and

01:01:24.700 remember dude at 29 years old i had to move in i had to move back in with my dad at 27 so like i was

01:01:32.340 broke as fuck i didn't first form didn't even fucking exist so you're not in a bad spot brother

01:01:37.460 at all yes sir love it see at the at the end at the end um my where the liquor store or whatever

01:01:49.440 he told me i can set up a venue type deal with a table and if i have samples i can go in there and

01:01:56.540 i can sample it out to the customers that come in as well so yeah he's giving me opportunity to

01:02:04.580 advertise it in any way shape or form and he even wants to sell it in the store as well

01:02:11.440 and um i've actually went out like i like i said while i was working at o'reilly's which i still am but

01:02:20.040 i delivery drive i would go if i went to a store i would talk to them about it and they would be

01:02:27.060 like hey i want to help you as much as possible like i want to you know whenever you get it you

01:02:32.020 come to me and i will i will do everything i need to do so i've i've i've used to i'm pretty i can say

01:02:39.760 i'm pretty well with talking to people good because i have been in the customer service all my life

01:02:46.180 good tremendous skill to have brother especially when you're going to be an entrepreneur

01:02:50.000 yes i i just like you say i try to talk to five random people every day every day random

01:02:56.700 just to talk to them just to see what they got to say and what's it do for your skill set brother

01:03:01.520 man yeah it makes me have more of a clear version of who i am as a person because that person could

01:03:13.220 be going through something that's right and you know what to say that's right and then you help

01:03:19.440 them in their life as well as oh well i didn't see in that perspective it was that time and it was

01:03:25.420 that moment i just helped somebody else out with their life that's right dude and honestly that's

01:03:30.540 the most important fucking thing we've talked about the entire time so you got it so that's

01:03:37.500 you know uh you know uh you know you've heard of bass pro shops right

01:03:43.220 yes sir you do you know where they started

01:03:45.500 i do not yeah they started in the back of a liquor store

01:03:49.980 really one of the greatest companies that exists in the united states of america

01:03:56.100 was started in the back of a liquor store selling fucking fly fishing lures that he made by hand

01:04:02.340 johnny morris damn it's one of the greatest fucking entrepreneur stories that's ever existed in this

01:04:08.400 country and i would encourage you i would encourage you to go learn everything you can

01:04:14.000 about that man and every other man that's done something like that sam walton all of these people

01:04:20.600 bro they started with nothing okay and and those are much more valuable people to learn from

01:04:26.980 than the fucking idiot on the internet who's driving around in a fucking hurricane talking about buying

01:04:32.580 their fucking chat gpt prompts now yeah you notice how these fuckers are now selling their prompts

01:04:39.180 yeah they're like oh here's here's my prompt to do this it's like they're not even selling knowledge

01:04:44.320 anymore that's stupid fucking same dudes that sold nft and yeah right fucking crypto rug pulls and

01:04:51.560 now it's it's bad my chat gpt comment chat and i'll send you my chat gpt how about you just

01:04:59.560 fucking ask the chat gpt that's stupid hey chat what would the proper prompt be for this

01:05:05.920 it'll fucking give it to you anyway yeah i'm getting pissed off now but it's neither here nor there

01:05:12.160 all right um go study johnny morris bro it'll inspire you yes sir hey i'm not gonna lie i know

01:05:21.280 this myself hey i would love to keep in touch with you oh yeah honestly for like a mentorship what do

01:05:27.540 you look like you know are you cute i mean

01:05:32.160 brother i don't i don't do direct mentorship i i honestly can't afford to do it um i do the arte

01:05:45.060 syndicate which is a few hundred bucks a month but the truth of the matter is bro all the basics that

01:05:50.160 you need i've covered already so um if you haven't gone back and listened to the original mfceo project

01:05:56.700 i would go listen to that uh because that will help you get the basics down and really the non-basics

01:06:03.460 as well uh about how to build a company so if you haven't gone back and started episode one

01:06:09.140 i mean they're rough dude because like i was you know like anybody when just like i said when you

01:06:14.740 start your business you're not going to be great at it i wasn't i wasn't great at it but the points

01:06:19.220 the points are made well so yes sir i would start there uh you know i could easily tell you you know

01:06:25.480 hey give me fucking 300 bucks a month you could join now dude you don't need to do that yet you

01:06:30.780 don't need to do it yet so um i'm happy to mentor you from afar i will keep you in my mind when i talk

01:06:38.120 about things and make content you're the exact person that i care about succeeding and uh you know

01:06:45.880 that's that's where i'm at right now brother yes sir so i'll keep an eye out for you i appreciate all

01:06:54.060 y'all yeah dj give me your instagram bro i'll give you a follow and we'll uh i'll keep an eye on you

01:06:59.360 big bet uh just let me know dj and i'll uh send you my instagram over i already got it

01:07:07.420 oh well

01:07:09.360 no i got you dog i got you all right brother well listen go do it man don't sit there and think about

01:07:18.500 it go fucking do it yes sir i i want i want i want you to be a problem for me one day

01:07:24.800 yeah you know you know supplement so be ready that's what i'm saying i'm good with that i'm good

01:07:32.140 with that i'm good with that just makes me better hey let's hey whenever i get there hey let's talk

01:07:39.060 to you hey i don't mind getting the first form line out all right all right let's go deal bro

01:07:45.560 all right jab bro we appreciate you man yes sir thank y'all appreciate y'all y'all have a good

01:07:52.380 rest of the day thank you too brother that's cool yeah it's cool yeah i love that cool dude bro bro i

01:07:59.320 love people that i just love people that think bigger man and they're like fuck i'm gonna do this

01:08:07.100 i want bigger yeah like here's this guy from the middle of tennessee who's like dude i want to do this

01:08:11.680 because you inspired me you know and he's gonna go out and fucking build something i guarantee he does

01:08:16.180 it i i can't wait to see it he just you know it's cool man yeah it is man all right guys we got one

01:08:23.180 final one for you let's uh this is a write-in uh hello andy hello hello andy i respect your opinion

01:08:33.280 so i'm going to ask this question in the hopes that you answer it in some way that makes sense

01:08:39.720 to me it's a lot of pressure no i was wondering if you were going to ask me a question i would ask it

01:08:47.500 damn it i told myself i was going to change it for inquire now on okay messed up um let's hear it

01:08:54.160 and i'm probably not your typical person uh i'm a 56 year old fitness guy that sold a business

01:09:01.980 but not looking to get back into business but do something different to help the younger generation

01:09:07.540 i can't think this is the end i need more legacy my goal was to work up uh was to work for the up

01:09:15.600 and coming clubs to help their younger people better crunch fitness ish um however when i apply

01:09:22.120 they basically say you're not the right fit yeah i've been successful pretty much my entire career

01:09:28.200 i feel like i've missed something recently please tell me what my gut is already telling me

01:09:33.740 you're you need purpose that's what you need okay we we have to have as men especially and women by

01:09:41.740 the way but men especially being the traditional provider which i believe they should be

01:09:46.580 we have to have three elements in our life to have what we would consider a good life a happy life

01:10:01.160 a life that allows us to some semblance of internal peace we require three things the first thing is

01:10:10.360 discipline if you're not in control of what it is that you could control you can't do shit you're not

01:10:16.380 going to be shit you're going to feel like shit you're going to have anxiety you're going to be

01:10:21.220 frustrated you're going to be angry you're going to go through life feeling powerless you're going

01:10:26.440 to have low confidence you're going to have low self-esteem and to be completely honest it's going

01:10:31.540 to ruin your fucking life okay so if you don't have discipline and you haven't cultivated it in your life

01:10:37.700 expect a long or maybe shorter life of fucking misery that's the truth cultivating discipline

01:10:45.820 inside yourself and becoming somebody who understands how to create momentum how to make the decisions

01:10:55.260 that you need to make not the ones you want to make and being able to control the things that we are

01:11:03.000 control of is the foundation of everything here's what we could control we could control what we eat

01:11:10.780 we can control what we drink we can control how we move we can control the information we put in our head

01:11:16.920 we can control the things that we deem worthy to go after we can control our network our community our circle

01:11:24.780 of people that we surround ourselves with outside of that there's not a whole lot that we can control

01:11:31.940 but the good news is is that that's most of the shit that will actually dictate the outcome of our lives

01:11:37.780 so we got to have that discipline the next thing we got to have is purpose we have to have a purpose

01:11:46.660 that's bigger than ourselves it can't just be i want to be jacked ripped and rich and uh you know i want

01:11:54.680 to fucking uh you know spend money that's not a purpose bro that's not a purpose that will never ever

01:12:01.040 ever and never has fulfilled anybody okay so the purpose has to be bigger what is it that you love

01:12:09.700 to do and i already know because i come from the same industry you love to see people change their

01:12:15.640 motherfucking lives you love to see someone who's a hundred pounds overweight lose all the weight become

01:12:22.300 a completely different person take control of their lives and go on to live an entirely different life

01:12:28.960 because of the things that you either taught them or help them realize okay your purpose right now

01:12:36.560 and by the way a lot of entrepreneurs deal with this your purpose right now has been suspended

01:12:44.740 because you sold your business and you got out of business and that for the last probably you know

01:12:52.020 however many years was your purpose and your ultimate purpose in business was to make people better

01:12:58.300 so and the third thing you need is gratitude you have to be able to look at where you are even if

01:13:04.960 you're on day one even if you're fucking miserable you have to be able to back it out and say actually

01:13:13.820 i'm very grateful for who i am where i'm at i'm healthy enough i'm intelligent enough i have the ability

01:13:23.240 to work enough god has put me in a tremendous place to build an incredible story and you have to be

01:13:30.600 grateful for where you're at even when i was totally broke and didn't have anything going for me and

01:13:36.580 everybody was laughing at me i still felt grateful dude i was still at the end of the day when i prayed i

01:13:44.700 was like man thank you i wouldn't trade places with anybody and that was part of my that was part it's

01:13:51.240 still part of my prayer dude like i legit and i know this sounds crazy and probably egotistical i don't

01:13:57.720 know but i wouldn't trade with anybody i wouldn't trade my life for anybody else's life it doesn't

01:14:03.360 matter who they are and i felt that way when i was fucking broke i felt that way when i was fat i felt

01:14:09.300 that way when i didn't quote unquote have shit going for me it was just something that i was able to do

01:14:15.080 and and back then i was grateful for the opportunity even if i wasn't capitalizing on it i was grateful

01:14:21.520 for you know the people around me i was grateful for my friends my family my dogs whatever i could

01:14:27.380 fucking find to be grateful for because it puts you in the right vibrational energy state

01:14:33.580 so it sounds like you have the discipline and i'm sure you have the gratitude but what you're

01:14:40.860 lacking right now is purpose and you've got to figure out what that is and i think you already

01:14:44.540 know what that is you love helping people get better so how are you going to do that now versus

01:14:50.220 how you did it before and that doesn't necessarily look like something that you have to go get hired

01:14:56.640 at a gym for you know there's lots of ways to do this man uh you can volunteer you

01:15:02.640 you could start your own boot camp for free like there's all kinds of shit you could do brother

01:15:07.740 that helps people i mean you can help people one-on-one man you know there's lots of different

01:15:13.820 ways um and you're gonna have to figure out that way that fulfills you and and if it's not that then

01:15:19.040 you're gonna have to fill your life with a different purpose you know um one of my really good friends

01:15:24.740 sold his business and after he sold his business his purpose became he wanted to take care of

01:15:32.200 wildlife so he opened up a wildlife reserve and that's what he does and that's his purpose

01:15:37.080 and while it's not the same thing as he did before it's something that fulfills him so he still practices

01:15:44.040 discipline he's still very grateful he's not in business but he's fulfilled by this other purpose

01:15:50.040 and i would caution any entrepreneur that is exiting their business to never exit your business without

01:15:59.520 an understanding of what you're going to do next because i have seen so many people work their

01:16:06.100 whole lives sell their business for so much fucking money and then be completely miserable in fact i've

01:16:12.640 known a couple that have killed themselves because they've been so depressed and they don't realize

01:16:17.540 that it's not about the money bro it's about seeing the project through it's about being grateful

01:16:25.320 for where you are and it's about fulfilling your purpose on a daily basis and yes when you don't

01:16:30.920 have any money it's about money but if it always stays about money you're always going to be fucking

01:16:37.280 broke emotionally so and fulfillment wise so so i would say man like look you got to do some some deep

01:16:45.160 digging here about what's going to fulfill you for the next part of your life you know 57 years old is not

01:16:50.920 that old anymore there's all kinds of technology there's all kinds of things coming out you know

01:16:55.820 one of my buddies uh he said to me recently he's he's battling uh cancer he's doing really good and

01:17:03.060 i think he's going to make it i fucking thought he was going to die for sure but he pulled through

01:17:07.660 and uh he said to me he goes bro i i'm like man you're doing good he's like yeah he's like i fucking

01:17:14.460 watch what elon's doing he's like i know i gotta only make it like five more years i get to live forever

01:17:18.260 that's right so we'll see the first person who lives to 150 in a lifetime i mean maybe the second

01:17:24.780 or third considering some of these ghouls that are running the world but uh you know at the end of

01:17:29.140 the day man we have to understand that purpose is what drives fulfillment and without it no matter

01:17:36.420 how much no matter how much money you make you're not going to feel good and i would argue on top of

01:17:40.780 that that people that make the most money have the strongest purpose that just aligns with something

01:17:46.300 that can make money you know like people when you ask people and you say hey what's the purpose of

01:17:51.440 starting a business every fucking single one of them will say to make money you're the purpose of

01:17:57.000 a business is not to make money the purpose of a business is to solve a fucking problem at scale

01:18:01.960 which then people trade money for it's a fucking different perspective and when you look at it like

01:18:08.340 you're trying to solve the problem the best that you can people recognize that and trade you their

01:18:13.540 money for it and the richest motherfuckers in the world understand that they make the best products

01:18:19.160 they can and they understand that people will give them their money for it and that's what they do

01:18:25.320 so the product has to benefit people it has to be real it can't be a fucking pie in the sky you know

01:18:32.380 bullshit you know what i mean it's it's the people who are the best make the most money and the reason

01:18:36.960 is is because the whole entire reason the business exists is to solve problems for the customers

01:18:41.600 so when you adjust your mindset around that the money comes but neither here nor there uh you got

01:18:48.560 to have a purpose no matter what you're going to be fucking miserable so you know when i think of my

01:18:53.320 life you know my purpose is as big as it could fucking possibly be bro i want to save the

01:18:58.180 motherfucking world i want to change culture in a way to where these criminal tyrants can't ever

01:19:03.640 fuck with people ever again because everybody's fit independently wealthy strong mentally stable

01:19:10.180 not uh easily manipulated you know when we have personal excellence at scale it creates a population

01:19:18.240 that cannot be controlled and uh that's what i want to do at scale that's a big fucking mission

01:19:23.420 it's going to take my whole life and i'll probably still lose okay but the bigger the mission the bigger

01:19:28.520 the purpose the bigger the actions the bigger the results the bigger the payoff the bigger the

01:19:33.620 fulfillment like it's got to be big bro at least for me yeah so yeah man um i think everybody

01:19:41.840 should have a purpose in their life that cannot that is not passive meaning people will say

01:19:52.340 you know

01:19:54.260 i'm just going to say this people are going to get upset about it but it's the truth

01:19:59.440 we have this new revival of christianity okay which i love i'm happy for i think it's great

01:20:05.120 but then we also have these people who are you know quitting their jobs quitting their and they're

01:20:10.540 saying i live for the for the church or i live for the bible or the scripture and it's like bro that's

01:20:16.000 you're missing the point you're giving gifts you were given talents the bible talks about it and when

01:20:22.240 you don't use them it's a slap in the face to your savior so sitting and hiding behind the

01:20:29.440 god or christianity or prayer or scripture and doing nothing with your life is cowardly and not

01:20:35.000 respected by god and it talks about that in the bible so you know we have to have a big vision we

01:20:41.200 have to take big action we have to be big purpose and the purpose needs to be active something that

01:20:46.080 we create something that we do something that we contribute to other people and i don't know what

01:20:51.620 that is for you brother but you got to figure it out and if you don't figure it out you're gonna be

01:20:54.720 miserable i love it dude yeah i love it man guys that makes sense absolutely bro absolutely i was

01:21:01.880 gonna i mean you kind of covered i was gonna ask though like you know what what's the dangers what's

01:21:05.800 the risk of not having that purpose there like you you could be as disciplined as you want and practice

01:21:10.160 your gratitude yeah but if you don't have a purpose bigger than yourself what's the fucking what's the

01:21:15.160 point yeah yeah what's the point drive yourself crazy what's the point bro i've been ripped

01:21:19.960 i've been rich you know i'm saying yeah you think i fucking really give a shit i believe i've lived

01:21:25.500 that way for so long i don't fucking care you know what i care about my purpose you know what i care

01:21:30.140 about helping people get better you know what i care about making people personally excellent so

01:21:34.720 these fucking tyrants can't keep fucking with everybody that's what i care about and that's an

01:21:39.060 impossible mission to achieve but the ideas and the business that will result from this which you

01:21:48.280 guys haven't even fucking heard about yet there's a reason i wasn't fucking doing anything on the

01:21:53.860 internet for five years by the way what i've created will solve that fucking problem and i believe it'll

01:22:01.140 be the biggest product in the fucking history of mankind that's the truth yeah but it comes out of

01:22:05.740 passion and service you see what i'm saying absolutely so absolutely man i love it i love it man well

01:22:12.080 guys andy that was three yeah all right guys well let's get after it this week and we'll see you

01:22:16.240 tomorrow on cti don't be a hoe chill shop went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze

01:22:24.600 fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions in the coke bad bitch booted swole got her on bank road

01:22:31.200 can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed

01:22:34.620 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 22, 2025

941. Q&AF： Boundaries With Parents, Asking For Help & Exploring Purpose Late In Life

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