REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 944. Q&AF： Rethinking Success, Redefining Life's Mission & Balancing Business Responsibilities

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies the 0.99

00:00:21.680 fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today 0.81

00:00:25.800 we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now if 0.76

00:00:32.100 you want to submit your questions to be answered on the show you can do that a number of different

00:00:36.020 ways dj's going to tell you how yeah the first way guys you can email your questions in to ask

00:00:40.220 andy at andy for seller.com you guys can also submit your questions in the youtube comments

00:00:44.760 on the q and af episodes or just click the link in the bio in the description below

00:00:49.180 um if you'd like to be uh pulled to be a caller yeah is that it yep okay yep that was all so ask

00:00:58.000 us your questions we'll give you your answers uh this is your first time listening we have multiple

00:01:02.180 formats of the show today's q and af tomorrow's going to be cti that stands for cruise the internet

00:01:08.760 that's we put topics on the screen we speculate on what's going on we talk about how we the people

00:01:14.240 need to solve these problems being created in society and uh yeah that's it that's it

00:01:22.680 what else do we got

00:01:24.140 we do have a fee we got 75 hard verses we got that yeah real talks we got real talks we got all kinds

00:01:34.520 of stuff talk some real yeah shows within the show baby hey if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard where the

00:01:40.460 fuck you've been but if you're interested in it you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio 0.91

00:01:46.500 feed again that's 208 on the audio feed 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program which is 0.98

00:01:53.700 the world's most famous mental transformation program ever and it's free all right episode 208

00:02:00.240 audio feed and then you can get the book called the book on mental toughness at andy for seller.com

00:02:05.360 it is not free we do have a fee for the show fee is very simple do us a favor don't be a hoe 1.00

00:02:13.220 show the show yeah what's up hi hi how's it going man good yeah just had to replace the rim on my

00:02:22.520 truck what happened benton cracked it again

00:02:25.120 did you ever find the snake no really yep now you know so you know it's just happening you're

00:02:34.680 thinking like you know it's almost like a hypochondriac almost so as soon as i was like 0.96

00:02:40.580 driving yesterday i started getting smells you know i'm saying i started smelling shit coming through 0.73

00:02:45.960 the vents well you think it killed it well i think so but so like the first one i started smelling like 0.89

00:02:51.540 a skunk it was just a black dude in front of me smoking weed so i'm okay we're good then i started 0.96

00:02:56.820 smelling like some like it was just like weird like nasty burnt plastic i'm like what's that and

00:03:02.920 then i saw a white dude smoking meth driving in front of me so i'm okay got it that's not yeah so

00:03:06.960 it's not snake it's not the snake so you didn't smell the snake no i didn't i was just freaking out

00:03:13.280 thinking i was man yeah i don't know dude i don't it's weird bro it's so weird yeah it's so weird

00:03:19.520 well i don't like it r.i.p yeah yeah but uh but yeah and then uh had to replace a rim of a tire

00:03:27.600 you know how that happened st louis potholes bro we got some bad roads here yeah how come i never

00:03:33.380 have to replace rims you don't go you don't go to the city like that though yeah you do yeah where

00:03:38.780 like 55 northbound bro where are you going down there i still go i got family down there bro 0.97

00:03:43.720 let's still be in the shit so that's where you hurt the rim yeah on the state streets 0.99

00:03:46.920 all right it's hot over there yeah 0.99

00:03:50.300 yeah man so you know it's been a good day though you know i'm here i got some good questions for

00:03:58.820 you all right we're gonna make some people better today how you feeling we you know what five alive

00:04:03.640 yeah i think so yeah i think so still trying to get past this uh kung flu yeah whatever it was

00:04:10.940 the kung flu the chinese virus china that's right why do you keep calling it the chinese virus because

00:04:19.760 it's from china that's right that's right well yeah man let's uh let's let's do it let's get some

00:04:29.320 calls in uh i got three of them all right so let's knock these out all right yeah first question

00:04:35.920 i've got a write in for you andy i've been teaching martial arts for almost 20 years while

00:04:44.040 simultaneously being a full-time school teacher i never did it for money i did it because it gave me

00:04:51.360 a way to help people transform their lives but now i'm tired i'm five years away from retirement and

00:04:58.080 i'm struggling to keep the school open part of me wants to close it take my time back and start

00:05:03.880 pouring into the people in my immediate circle the ones who've often taken a back seat while i've

00:05:09.180 served this passion for two decades i know i don't need your permission to make this decision

00:05:14.300 what i am asking is for your perspective in your view does success have to be measured by big

00:05:22.220 accomplishments or can it be found in the smaller quieter things we invest in i feel guilty for wanting

00:05:29.760 to stop like i'll be letting others down but i'm stuck at this crossword uh crossroads and i want

00:05:35.580 to hear how you see it i would appreciate your thoughts on this i have a month left to make this

00:05:40.640 decision well what's it matter what i think or what i see you're the one that's got to live your life

00:05:48.200 dude you know i i can't sit here and tell you what success means for every individual i exist for those

00:05:58.000 people who want to go out and build an extraordinarily traditional successful life make money kick ass

00:06:06.520 be fit etc etc etc okay i can't tell you how to determine success for yourself but here's what i will

00:06:16.380 tell you is that a lot of people when they have a hard time making financial success they will start

00:06:25.460 to tell themselves a story about how it's not that important and i didn't really want it and it wasn't

00:06:32.260 something that i wanted anyway and i got tricked into going for it and then they start blaming everybody

00:06:37.780 for their own failures and then settle into a life that they never actually wanted because what they

00:06:45.500 actually wanted ended up being much harder than they anticipated so my warning to you would be

00:06:54.500 it's okay to determine success as being different things than what you know maybe we talk about here

00:07:02.460 on the show that's fine but at the end of the day most people who abandon the traditional

00:07:11.100 wins of a successful life that most people consider to be successful making good money being fit having

00:07:22.600 strong relationships having a good life doing what it is you want to do um you know these people are

00:07:30.860 moving away from that because they couldn't cut it and so i would just warn you to make sure that's not

00:07:37.460 what's going on you know if you've done this for 20 years and you're truly tired of it and you want to

00:07:42.060 change and you want to do dude by all means man you know we only got one life to live and you got to do

00:07:47.680 the things that make you happy but at the end of the day being broke doesn't make anybody happy

00:07:52.220 no matter what anybody says no matter how they try to play it no matter how they try to spin it 0.73

00:07:56.920 that makes you fucking miserable and it makes your life a lot harder and um you know i guess my my 0.95

00:08:04.620 answer to this question would just be just really think about why it is you feel the way you feel 0.98

00:08:12.460 because if it's a temporary thing and then you give it up that that's going to be a problem because

00:08:19.660 it's going to be hard to get it going back again and you might not have the opportunity to go back

00:08:23.780 again uh if it's a long-term feeling that you've felt for a long time and maybe you need a switch

00:08:29.300 of direction in your life that's fine too but make no mistake dude there's going to be no sitting

00:08:36.420 around relaxing chilling talking about the good old days enjoying the breeze through your hair 0.95

00:08:43.380 without some financial fucking freedom that's the reality okay and you will have all these people 0.96

00:08:48.600 tell you all these things about how it's not important and it's this and that and this and that 0.98

00:08:53.300 but then out the other side of their mouth they're always complaining about how they don't have any 1.00

00:08:57.120 fucking money how life's not fair how fucking hard it is and they bitch and whine and complain 1.00

00:09:02.980 about the things they say that they don't even want in the first place which is the ultimate form 1.00

00:09:08.500 of hypocrisy and the most annoying form of hypocrisy because it's very apparent to everybody else from

00:09:16.140 the outside what's actually going on you know you're not the first person who ever decided to make a

00:09:22.040 change because it was hard out there and um you know you got to tell yourself oh well i got different

00:09:29.760 priorities now and then just give up on the dream like bro people been doing this forever and it's

00:09:37.120 interesting to me how many people try to hide behind this how many people try to fool people they try to 0.99

00:09:42.120 act like they're having some sort of moral enlightenment moment when in reality bro you're just fucking 0.97

00:09:49.140 unable to do it and you're not willing to put the work in that's required to become the person that you 0.91

00:09:54.720 actually want to become and if you're quitting on yourself like that i could promise you the rest of

00:09:59.400 your life you're going to regret so you got to be very careful when you make decisions like this

00:10:04.240 are you making this decision because it's actually the truth what you're saying is the truth i'm i want

00:10:10.760 to change of direction i want to do something different i want to do different with my life if

00:10:16.720 that's true then go do that if it is you are saying man i've never really been able to make this work

00:10:25.020 i've never been able to make this go i've never been able so i'm just going to kind of retire myself

00:10:30.360 and look another direction and pretend that i just want to be this vagabond hippie mentality type person

00:10:36.920 you're going to be miserable there too so i would just be very careful when you make decisions

00:10:43.680 about changing paths on what you're doing and take all things into account yes quality of life is the

00:10:52.180 ultimate point here right uh we want to get to a point where we're happy we're productive we've got

00:10:59.420 the resources to do what we want that's what everybody wants but you know we somehow in this

00:11:08.580 country have started to mistake pulling away from what some people will call the rat race into some 0.90

00:11:18.060 little you know like simpleton life which by the way is fine okay but you think you're not going to 0.98

00:11:25.560 have any fucking problems dude i mean you're going to have problems it's going to be hardships there's 0.99

00:11:31.860 going to be things you can't do there's going to be limitations you're and if you're okay with those 0.99

00:11:36.300 things that's fine but the reality is from my experience most people that ask questions like i'm being

00:11:44.460 asked right now are doing so because it's very fucking hard at the moment and they're trying to

00:11:49.560 justify moving on to something else and they're trying to make their quitting sound more palatable 0.98

00:11:57.680 acceptable to everybody correct and themselves and it's just another justification that our bitch voice 1.00

00:12:03.760 tells us uh about how we want to live our life and and then once we get into it we're right back where 0.99

00:12:08.920 we started where it's like fuck dude i want more than this this is not what i wanted and then you're back 0.96

00:12:12.840 at zero so 20 years yeah dude it's a hard it's a hard decision to make and i think a lot of people 0.99

00:12:19.820 with the way society is right now i mean look dude you see people quit their jobs and and other people

00:12:27.320 cheer for them you know what i'm saying strong yeah they're like oh i'm so proud of you you're so brave 0.99

00:12:32.580 that's the weakest loser is shit on the fucking planet and if you look all those people that do that 0.99

00:12:40.000 all quit their jobs and are miserable and not doing shit and struggling and they put on this face 1.00

00:12:46.600 out in the world like they're so much happier and they're so this and that but dude you can't be that 0.99

00:12:51.880 happy when you can't afford to fucking take care of your shit you can't be that happy when you know 0.98

00:12:56.420 you're leaving all your talents and skills and potential on the table you can't be that happy when 1.00

00:13:01.420 you're struggling every day to buy a fucking gallon of milk it's just impossible so you know i see 1.00

00:13:07.900 through the bullshit and so does everybody else by the way you're not fooling anybody um so i would 1.00

00:13:13.820 just make sure my my perspective is what you asked for i would just make sure that whatever you decide 0.95

00:13:20.020 to do you have a plan of what you're going to do next and it and it and it masks and masks out

00:13:29.140 so that it can support your lifestyle so you know i think i think because you know i read the emails

00:13:35.320 i read these questions and stuff that come in and i feel like there's always this common question like

00:13:40.220 at the root of it that people are really asking and you know i guess i guess the question is like

00:13:45.780 when you're on the path of success you you've you there's plenty of metaphors and and analogies that

00:13:51.880 you can you know put this to but when you're on that path of success you're climbing that ladder

00:13:55.200 or you're in the the jungle right you're in the weeds how what are the signs that you look for to

00:14:01.380 know that you're where you're supposed to be how do you know i'm putting all this work in i'm putting

00:14:06.840 all this effort and how do i know that this is going to work well that's the hard part of being

00:14:11.020 successful dj you don't always know that dude being able to live with the uncertainty of going down

00:14:18.820 the path is part of the skill set that has to be developed for successful individuals there's no

00:14:25.300 guaranteed path for people there was no guaranteed path for elon musk there was no guaranteed path for

00:14:32.000 jeff bezos there was no guaranteed path for me there was no guaranteed path for any of these people

00:14:37.900 that you look up to they took a risk and the reason they took the risk was because instead of

00:14:43.620 asking themselves man what's going to happen if i go out there and fail they ask themselves the

00:14:50.220 inverse of that which is what's going to happen if i never fucking try what's going to happen if i never 0.96

00:14:55.280 go after this what's going to happen if i don't give it everything i got what's my life going to be 0.78

00:15:00.140 like if i let this idea or this project or this business pass okay and that is more painful to them 0.96

00:15:07.540 than the idea of falling on their face i don't give a single fuck about what anybody thinks about 0.95

00:15:14.200 me falling on my fucking face okay i've already accomplished more than 99.9999999999% of humans 0.99

00:15:23.040 that ever motherfucking walk the face of this planet will ever accomplish so i don't care if i fall on my 0.99

00:15:28.200 fucking face what i actually care about is if i have something that i feel driven to do and i don't do 0.99

00:15:35.060 it how am i going to feel when i'm gonna die okay and that's what makes successful people driven 0.98

00:15:41.900 people achievement happen they don't wonder what's gonna happen if i do this and i embarrass myself 0.94

00:15:48.200 they don't give a fuck bro what they wonder is man if i don't go do this how am i gonna feel about 0.94

00:15:53.860 it knowing that it could have worked or or if i see someone else do it and it works and then i just 0.98

00:15:58.320 let it sit there and you know i didn't do anything with it and i didn't become who i was supposed to

00:16:02.600 become and i didn't get in shape and i didn't make that money and i didn't build that you know

00:16:06.820 project or i didn't do that business or i didn't build that organization i didn't ask that girl out 1.00

00:16:11.880 i didn't fucking didn't didn't didn't didn't bro you're gonna be dead you're gonna be fucking dead 1.00

00:16:16.120 okay so you're really not risking anything that's the point all right nobody's gonna remember that 1.00

00:16:22.040 you started a little business and fell on your fucking face uh in 30 years no one gives a shit 0.99

00:16:27.640 the only way they're gonna remember is if you fell on your face enough learn enough 1.00

00:16:31.700 and built it into something amazing where it's recognized universally by everybody 0.97

00:16:35.440 otherwise they're not even gonna remember you falling down you know how many fucking times i 0.94

00:16:39.780 fell on my face building what we've got now a million times do you know how many times people 0.98

00:16:44.380 bring it up zero they don't give a shit because i've won okay well i haven't won by the standard 0.96

00:16:52.240 by the standard their standard i don't feel like i've won i feel like i'm just getting started 0.98

00:16:56.880 but but the point is is that you have to start thinking like a winner and like a successful

00:17:05.440 person thinks and successful people understand that falling on your face in front of a bunch of 0.99

00:17:10.540 fucking losers isn't shit it doesn't matter don't fucking care what the fuck do i care what people 1.00

00:17:16.220 think you know what i'm saying yeah that's the attitude they're not paying my fucking bills 1.00

00:17:20.300 they're not they're you know like dude it's irrelevant and and dude people on the beginning 0.89

00:17:25.940 side of the journey dude and it makes sense okay like it's their perspective right like when you're

00:17:34.960 when this is your world okay and you're living in this little bubble that you see as your entire 0.81

00:17:39.300 world and you're refusing to understand that there is this entire fucking universe outside of that bubble 0.95

00:17:46.560 that has no idea who you are doesn't care who you are doesn't care about you to think that they're 0.99

00:17:54.640 going to care that you fall on your face is egotistical you're giving yourself more importance 0.99

00:17:59.040 as an individual than what you actually have you're worried about the wrong shit it's not even that 1.00

00:18:03.100 you're fucking arrogant you think you're more important than you fucking actually are you are not 1.00

00:18:08.120 that important you are not important enough for people to really give a fuck about you falling on 1.00

00:18:12.320 your face you're only important enough to you you care about that but the rest of the world doesn't 0.99

00:18:17.620 so if the rest of the world doesn't give a fuck why do you give a fuck it's like going ice skating bro 0.99

00:18:23.340 you go ice skating right this is the best example i can fucking think of yeah because almost everybody 0.99

00:18:29.480 sucks at ice skating okay when you go to fucking ice skating and you put on the fucking right now not 0.99

00:18:35.620 me because i've played hockey my whole life but when you put fucking skates on and you go to the 1.00

00:18:42.060 little thing and you rental and you see everybody falling on your ass out there what do you think 1.00

00:18:46.860 you don't think anything no i'm next yeah you're like fuck dude i'm gonna fall on my ass too 1.00

00:18:52.540 you don't even fucking think about it and everybody's falling on their ass they're eating shit 1.00

00:18:57.260 they're fucking falling down in front of their kids and nobody gives a fuck nobody gives a fuck 1.00

00:19:02.360 now that's the same way business works that's the same way achievement works that's the same way 1.00

00:19:08.440 setting a goal and going after it works everybody falls all the time but for some reason when it

00:19:15.620 comes to this part of our lives we have a big problem with people seeing us fall we're like oh 0.96

00:19:20.420 man i don't fucking stumble bro it's the same thing nobody knows what the fuck they're doing when 1.00

00:19:26.100 they get started and only after you know a hundred times of skating do you see the motherfucker 1.00

00:19:32.100 come out and do the mallorina twirls and shit triple sow cows and shit and make you look like 1.00

00:19:37.160 a fucking idiot in front of your girl you know i'm saying you're like that guy's fucking gay like 1.00

00:19:41.140 you know but like dude we fucking we fucking don't think of it the right way okay everybody's 1.00

00:19:49.900 falling down you just don't see it they don't get on the internet and say ah i fucking fell down 0.98

00:19:54.600 again today oh guess what i bounced a check today oh guess what i'm out of money today oh guess 0.99

00:19:59.940 what guess they don't do that all they do is they say fuck bro i made a 70 million dollars in one 1.00

00:20:05.700 fucking minute buy my course and that's what we're seeing and that's not real the realest shit 0.99

00:20:11.280 is to understand that everybody falls the fuck down and if you can't if you can't accept that 1.00

00:20:17.400 you're going to be one of those how can you ever become the guy doing the fucking triple whoopty 0.98

00:20:22.500 you know what i'm saying you can't do it i'm sure he had a first day too dude listen bro how are you 1.00

00:20:28.960 going to become an effective ice skater if you don't get on the fucking ice you can't do it you 0.99

00:20:34.660 can't do it you can sit there in the fucking stands you can watch them unlimited you can watch 1.00

00:20:40.920 you can say oh look at that guy look at this guy look at that guy look at this guy look at this guy 1.00

00:20:43.840 look at that guy look at this guy you're not going to learn until you get the fuck out there 1.00

00:20:47.820 and then what you're going to realize is all the motherfuckers laughing at you they won't even 1.00

00:20:52.440 get on the fucking ice they won't even fucking put the skates on no so what so why do you care 1.00

00:20:59.360 what they think yeah you know what i'm saying and this number this this major mental block 1.00

00:21:05.120 is just not understood by people you know people will say so i don't give a fuck what anybody thinks 0.99

00:21:11.140 well if that's the case why aren't you doing shit you can say that all you want but your actions tell 0.97

00:21:15.840 the story so i just think you know we all have to realize like nobody's nobody that you admire 0.97

00:21:26.720 started out going out on the ice the first time and fucking looking like wayne gretzky bro it's just 0.98

00:21:32.500 not reality and if you're not willing to look stupid you can't do it i love it i love it man i love 0.99

00:21:38.820 it we gotta see another question in man let's uh we got a call let's get brandon on the phone 1.00

00:21:45.260 hello hello this is brandon

00:21:54.540 hello hello this is brandon can you hear me yes sir brandon what's going on man what's going on dog

00:22:06.380 what's up with you man where you calling from charlotte north carolina okay all right i

00:22:13.120 heard the twang in there yeah what's up brandon a little bit in there what's going on indy how you

00:22:18.820 doing i'm doing good brother how you doing cannot complain i'm on my way back from knoxville

00:22:25.600 from knoxville yes sir oh man that's beautiful country out there man it is what are you what are

00:22:33.680 you doing i drive trucks for a living all right cool cool nothing wrong with that nothing wrong with

00:22:40.300 that all right brandon so what we got man how can we uh how can we help so my question to you guys is

00:22:48.620 is that i am well to give you a little history i'm 24 years old i have a young family of three i have

00:22:56.440 a three-year-old a fiance and i have another son on the way doing january um i'm a truck driver

00:23:05.820 i'm in the military as well i'm in the air force reserves um basically my question to you is that i'm

00:23:12.820 stuck in like between a rock and a hard place right now to where i feel like i've accomplished

00:23:19.520 building the foundation for my family and i'm trying to find a direction on where to build upwards from

00:23:26.220 and i'm always asking my family members like hey what should i be doing should i be doing this should

00:23:30.760 i be doing that like well they're like well branding is 24 just relax you know enjoy what you've done

00:23:36.380 i'm like no but it's nothing it's like i'm itching for something else it's like i'm trying to find

00:23:42.720 another purpose to fulfill to feel fulfilling because yes i i'm grateful for my accomplishments

00:23:49.900 but i feel like there's something else that i should be doing and i can't figure it out

00:23:53.920 all right so let me ask you this are yes sir what do you you're talking about your job correct

00:24:05.060 not necessarily my job because i want to say my goal is to end up buying my own rig and owning it

00:24:15.200 but you know that's you know i've been saving up for a while i've been driving for like three years now

00:24:22.220 so you know that's neither here or there but i'm trying to figure out what other steps can i take

00:24:28.640 towards that and there's something else that i should be doing there's something i can't be doing

00:24:33.760 like i'm i'm trying to figure out which which direction to go or if i should just be like well

00:24:40.340 i've done everything i i can do right now i'm gonna just sit but i'm like no but i can't do that

00:24:46.160 yeah so let me let me okay first of all for 24 years old bro you're doing really good okay and

00:24:54.760 you you should feel definitely good that you you you're moving the right direction um

00:25:00.860 you know your your family's growing you feel a sense of deep obligation to provide and set a

00:25:07.560 foundation for them and you have a goal past the point of where you're trying to go now here's where

00:25:15.100 i would this is what i would tell you dude um owning a truck is that's a goal right but like bro you're 24

00:25:27.100 man you could own a thousand trucks you know what i'm saying so my encouragement towards you

00:25:32.260 is to realize that whatever limits that you have in your brain those are other people limits those

00:25:39.380 are people's limits that you've grown up around those are people's limits that you know you've you've

00:25:44.160 had installed into you whether through school or the military or people that you respect and that's

00:25:49.780 not a bad thing but you just have to recognize that your life is your life brandon and you

00:25:56.760 already have something that most people your age do not have which is self-awareness of what's going on

00:26:04.320 and while a lot of people are going to look at what you're doing and they're going to say brandon

00:26:09.280 you're doing great bro just chill just relax let it happen let it happen that's how you end up doing 0.98

00:26:15.720 the same thing you're doing now when you're 34 and then you're 44 and now you're fucking miserable with 0.94

00:26:22.500 that so you having your mind in the place that it is is a very good place to have it because 0.95

00:26:31.300 you're what i'm hearing from brandon is i'm hungry i want to move i want to be fulfilled i want to make

00:26:38.380 sure i'm putting my time into something that's going to be worthy of that investment and that is a

00:26:44.100 powerful mentality to have when you're young because most people don't get that until it's

00:26:50.780 too late they go they will they will listen to your friends right now brandon and they will say

00:26:56.020 all right cool i'm doing good and then at 34 they'll be in the same spot and their friends will

00:27:00.380 be saying the same thing brandon what are you bitching about dude you're doing good you're doing

00:27:04.820 great this is this is okay and you're not happy okay and then at 44 you know you finally wake up and

00:27:11.720 you say man i've been living to their standards and i want this but now you've wasted all this time

00:27:17.640 so the good news is is that you are not going to have to waste all this time you're already on top of

00:27:23.200 it and to your friends and families who are telling you you know hey man just relax dude look that's

00:27:28.960 their limits that's their life that's what they want that's not what's going to make you fulfilled or

00:27:33.280 you wouldn't even be asking the question so what do i think you should do i think you should

00:27:39.620 continue to do what you're doing i think you should learn as much as you can about your profession

00:27:44.180 i think you should figure out a business plan of how you're going to have 10 trucks by the age of 30

00:27:50.640 not one truck and i think you need to start taking action against that because dude i'm telling you bro

00:27:57.640 like when i was 24 years old i was four or five years into my business i had i still only had one retail

00:28:05.500 store and if someone had came to me and said bro you're thinking too fucking small that would have 0.90

00:28:14.080 benefited me a lot because it took me another six years to really get shit going because i thought 0.90

00:28:19.860 that i was winning i thought you know hey man i'm doing good most people don't have this business

00:28:25.100 but the truth of the matter was i wasn't fulfilled it wasn't big enough it didn't require my all my

00:28:30.880 attention i didn't have to pour myself into it the way that i you know that i do now and i needed that

00:28:37.180 project to be fulfilled so you know i would encourage you to think about that brandon i would

00:28:43.880 say how are you going to own 10 trucks by the time you're 30 and how are you going to a thousand by the

00:28:48.580 time you're 40 that's what i would like to see from brandon because it's not going away bro and

00:28:55.120 you know your expertise and in logistics and trucking you know let's say you maybe five years

00:29:02.980 maybe it's all automated trucks but you have such good relationships with the companies and and the

00:29:08.880 logistics and all these things that you're able to create an amazing uh logistics company off of that

00:29:14.680 so you know bro a lot of times when people feel unfulfilled it's really just because they're they

00:29:21.260 don't have something that's big enough that requires all of their skill set i was just telling

00:29:26.040 my my uh friends here my buddies in the uh podcast studio yesterday this is a this is a parallel story

00:29:34.180 but you'll understand what i'm saying i was not a very good student um i tested very high on standardized 0.69

00:29:41.760 tests uh the sat the act i would i would test out of the fucking room on those but my grade point 0.97

00:29:50.280 average was you know a 2.0 and i was ranked at one of the top academic high schools in the whole 0.88

00:29:56.920 country almost last i was like in the top i was in the bottom 10 in my class and when i went to college

00:30:04.740 i got because i tested so high i got into some nice colleges and i went to st louis university for my

00:30:10.300 first semester and in my first semester i ended up finding my way into a level four political science

00:30:17.000 class and the dude it was so so hard but at the end of the semester i got the highest grade in the

00:30:25.500 class everybody else got c's and b's i got an a plus and the reason i did was because it was so hard

00:30:32.220 it required all of my attention all of my interest and i felt very proud of that and that was the first

00:30:38.680 time in school that i ever felt like yeah i did something here this mattered and it took me until

00:30:46.260 you know that funny enough that was almost the end of my college career but but the point is is that

00:30:53.280 dude if we don't test ourselves and we don't push ourselves and we don't hold ourselves into account

00:30:58.620 to be great we're gonna feel like we left it on the table bro and that's the last thing you want

00:31:04.540 you know what i'm saying correct 100 so see that's why i joined the military to begin with

00:31:11.280 because i joined the military right out of high school then the whole covid thing happened and then

00:31:15.980 i ended up getting put out of the military because of the whole mandate stuff three years down the line

00:31:21.980 when my son turned he's turning four this year i ended up going back in because of him i'm like well

00:31:28.900 i owe it to him but also i didn't feel fulfilled in my military service also because i feel like i left

00:31:34.340 up on the table there as well so that's why i eventually ended up joining the military again

00:31:39.320 yeah well look bro here's the thing anything we do in life if we don't give it our all it's never 0.95

00:31:48.100 gonna fulfill us no matter like bro even if you like if you're on a fucking sports team and your sports 0.98

00:31:54.080 team wins the national championship uh and you and you didn't try as hard as you could have you're 0.96

00:32:01.200 gonna always feel like that trophy doesn't really belong to you you know and all right and that's a

00:32:06.620 very important point of our life like and that can go even into in even into ceos and founders and

00:32:13.280 operators of companies like there becomes a point where you know when you found a company if you're

00:32:21.080 doing it right they don't really need you and when the company's performing really well but they don't

00:32:27.080 need you that creates an empty feeling even though you're you're you're checking all the boxes the

00:32:33.060 score is the right score you're making the right money things are going well but because you're not

00:32:38.840 putting it in you end up feeling depressed and unfulfilled and dude honestly this is why a lot

00:32:45.120 we hear these you know very successful people end up dealing with very dark dark issues um

00:32:51.200 because the way the game has been presented to them is work hard automate the business step away 0.99

00:32:59.920 let it print money and then these people go get on their boat and they're fucking miserable bro because 0.97

00:33:05.740 the game isn't about what you get it's what you give right it's what you're giving it's what you contribute 0.97

00:33:11.880 it's what you put in and when you're not putting it all in bro you're never gonna feel fulfilled

00:33:16.460 you're right i know brother

00:33:21.500 so look man you what my long story short one sentence answer you gotta you gotta expand your 0.99

00:33:34.880 goals bro bigger vision for you you weren't meant to have just one motherfucking truck bro i can hear 0.95

00:33:40.060 it in your voice okay you were meant to do something that is that is much bigger than that 0.94

00:33:46.120 and you have a lot of life and a lot of skill and a lot of hunger and a lot of love inside of you

00:33:51.820 bro i can hear it and you got to put that into something um you know your career your family

00:33:58.140 100 dude and you're gonna you're that feeling you're feeling all that is is your your conscious

00:34:04.520 uh it's probably a little bit of god too telling you hey brandon this ain't it bro you're meant for 0.55

00:34:11.720 bigger shit yeah so i've gotten because even with a cup with the company i drive for now it's like 0.86

00:34:19.260 i've already been here what maybe like a year and a half now and i'm already i'm doing more than the 0.99

00:34:25.880 people that's been here longer than me i started at the bottom doing night shift driving switch the

00:34:31.480 days maybe a year six months being into the company now i have the people the people that have been in

00:34:36.980 the company longer than me and being me oh how he did this first or how did he do this going to the 0.99

00:34:42.640 managers complaining yeah well all i hear is you know yeah well i mean it sucks to suck 0.99

00:34:48.920 they can fucking hate all they want bro you're doing the work they're not doing it just wait you 0.99

00:34:54.340 got your own trucking company they're putting in job applications that's right that's right 0.99

00:34:58.100 brandon here's a fucking winner bro you can fucking hear it yeah i love it dude i love it brandon we 0.97

00:35:05.300 appreciate you calling man hope that helps i appreciate y'all thank y'all so much for what 0.98

00:35:10.400 y'all do honestly y'all have overly overly helped me with this problem and i appreciate y'all and i

00:35:20.040 listen to y'all every day every morning in the truck so y'all get my day started every morning

00:35:25.540 we appreciate you man thank you so much brandon you gotta text us text this number of picture of

00:35:30.900 that first truck you get bro i want to see it yeah i got y'all all right man i'll see you brandon

00:35:36.060 see you dude all right yeah i love that man and it's so important bro because oh this is why the 0.96

00:35:42.880 fuck i do this i love it that that is why the fuck i do this that is why i do this people are like 0.97

00:35:47.840 what do you what do you fucking do all this shit and that's why brandon that's why young man 1.00

00:35:54.200 going out building something that matters taking care of his family setting a fucking example holding 1.00

00:36:00.660 the standard higher getting his the his peers are all pissed off yeah they're pissed off because 0.97

00:36:06.980 you're doing what they should be doing i fucking love it dude it's like that that lesson of just 0.65

00:36:12.780 thinking bigger is so fucking value bro it's hard though bro it's hard for people when they don't 0.86

00:36:18.780 if they don't have any examples of what that looks like or they don't know you know what what 0.88

00:36:24.260 it's it's hard that's a very difficult thing that's why you have to go out and intentionally

00:36:31.360 get in proximity of successful people and the life that you want when i had nothing i would drive up and 0.97

00:36:41.140 down the streets of nice neighborhoods and look at houses when i couldn't afford a fucking ford truck 0.98

00:36:47.680 brand new i was going in the fucking lamborghini dealerships and looking at lamborghinis with my 0.99

00:36:52.420 brother for years for years okay you have to intentionally put yourself in situations that 0.99

00:37:01.440 allow you to touch experience taste that life if that means going to dinner once every six months

00:37:09.400 to a really nice place that you really shouldn't be going to dinner to you should do that okay if that

00:37:14.740 means you know paying a hundred bucks or fucking a couple hundred bucks to be in proximity of other 0.98

00:37:21.400 motherfuckers that are that are on your level or that you want to be that's that's what you should do 0.99

00:37:26.520 you have to be in intentional about putting yourself in contact with these things because dude you're 1.00

00:37:35.780 right bro most people never know someone who drives a fucking rolls royce most people don't know 0.97

00:37:42.580 someone who's built a real company like that employs you know all these people and shit most people 0.98

00:37:48.620 don't know you know they don't they don't we bro we don't know like yeah yeah seeing it online and

00:37:54.800 enough i was fortunate enough to yes i was fortunate enough to to actually know a guy who was fairly young

00:38:01.120 who who was successful and i mean he ended up not being very good thing he he uh he he ended up with

00:38:11.800 some problems but i'll just leave it at that but the point is is that if you can't see it it's hard

00:38:18.280 to believe it it's hard to believe it's possible so you have to put yourself in the proximity of these

00:38:22.920 things that you want in this life that you're trying to build on a consistent basis and the most

00:38:28.240 interesting thing that will happen to you when you surround yourself with um people that are

00:38:33.480 very successful is that you will realize they're really not any different than you they're really

00:38:37.960 not um they're the same and there's no magic and there's no they don't have these 0.78

00:38:44.840 they they're just a regular person bro who fucking went all in and never fucking stopped you know and 0.96

00:38:52.720 you just haven't started yet yeah that's all it is i love it dude i love it we got another call uh let's 0.96

00:38:58.220 get another call then man um we got amy on the phone let's give amy a call 1.00

00:39:04.240 this amy amy hey how's it going this is dj hi how are you i'm good how are you fabulous thank you so

00:39:15.660 much for your time so what's up amy how are you hey great how are y'all good so what can we help you

00:39:21.400 i want to thank you so much for your time oh yeah obviously i mean this is this is what we do here so

00:39:26.660 is amazing i want to i did the 75 hard and did the live hard year it's just been an awesome change

00:39:33.860 of mentality and everything so first and foremost thank you that's amazing um i so real quick because

00:39:42.100 i want to be the best for your listeners as well as your time as well so i have a small business that

00:39:49.900 i started um under 15 employees started four years ago um my question is with two owners i vaguely

00:39:58.540 remember seeing or hearing something that you had mentioned but i cannot for the life of me find it

00:40:02.800 is it was it harder on you or i think you said it was harder on chris the first year and it appeared

00:40:08.480 to everybody else that he wasn't doing as much or anything something similar to that and my question

00:40:14.240 for that is because it's harder on my spouse to understand well why isn't so and so doing as much

00:40:19.620 as you but i'm the face of it i do all of the like customer service asset i mean aspect of things i'm out

00:40:26.880 and about doing all of the stuff it's um a very labor intensive job i do all of the bookkeeping the

00:40:33.740 quickbooks the taxes the social media all of it and that person the other person runs the crew portion

00:40:42.060 of it and so that's what's harder for my spouse to understand is it's going to be heavier on me right

00:40:48.740 now which i actually love i don't mind it in the least because i know it's just blood sweat and tears

00:40:53.800 but it's i wanted kind of another person's perspective of what it took to get to that point

00:41:01.720 if that makes sense yeah for sure um okay before i get into this let's let's understand this there is no

00:41:11.680 perfect way to balance out responsibilities in business or at home in the household okay and

00:41:22.420 just like an effective household an effective business has to be run as a team and there should

00:41:31.140 not be these arguments about well i do more i do this and this is harder this and that and this

00:41:37.540 look we just do what the fuck we need to do and that's what's required to have a good home and

00:41:44.740 that's what's required to have a good business and in the early days of my business chris did everything 0.97

00:41:52.360 okay i worked with the customers which we didn't have that many so chris did all basically all the

00:41:59.100 ordering all the all the back end all the bookkeeping all all of those things and you know i dealt with

00:42:07.360 the customers but we didn't have any so it was like i wasn't doing anything and as the business grew

00:42:12.820 you know my lift became a lot heavier and his lift was not as seen right and yes so people would see

00:42:24.280 you know a different dynamic they would they would see like well andy seems like he's doing all this

00:42:28.900 shit but you know they don't see the back side and that is exactly how i feel yeah dude and that's 0.90

00:42:35.500 that's just people who don't understand how a business is supposed to operate 0.99

00:42:41.280 really understanding because the truth of the matter is is an effective winning company

00:42:47.920 they don't do the tit for tat you know everything's equal they do the hey man we're gonna win whatever 0.98

00:42:56.220 needs to be done we're gonna do it here's the shit that you need to do here's the shit that i need 0.99

00:42:59.960 to do they're both important let's go take care of them and that yeah looks different in each person's 0.98

00:43:06.440 role you know today we have sal has his role i have my role chris has his role jason has his role

00:43:13.900 we all do different things that if we didn't do those things none of the machine would work

00:43:20.600 so there has to be a trust and a understanding that we are all doing our jobs and nobody's job

00:43:29.880 is necessarily more important than anybody else's because without one of them none of them matter

00:43:35.680 so exactly that's how i feel is without that person i wouldn't be successful but i it just appears that

00:43:42.780 it's heavier on me like right now and i'm okay with that just because i'm the face of it well look

00:43:48.340 that's if you're the face of it it's always going to appear that way um and here's the bad news 0.93

00:43:53.360 you're going to get the credit but you're also going to get the bad shit too you know like which 0.90

00:43:57.720 i'm okay with yeah yeah it's but dude that's just part of the deal man and people who are people who 0.97

00:44:06.220 aren't in every single winning business that i've ever been in contact with operates the way i just

00:44:13.160 said every single fabulous every single business that i see fail they do what they do what people

00:44:20.420 do you did this you did that you spent four four thousand dollars more on your suits than i did on 1.00

00:44:28.640 my televisions like they argue yeah bro it's stupid shit and agree the reality of of of winning is that 1.00

00:44:36.860 everybody has to handle their shit and none of it's more important and it all requires it's all 1.00

00:44:42.000 required and to me in in my companies i mean the the person who packs the box in the back of the 0.99

00:44:48.880 warehouses is equally as important as the decisions that are made at the very top we because because

00:44:55.140 if they don't pack the boxes our decisions don't fucking matter so exactly everybody's doing their 0.89

00:45:00.820 role and um okay and if you do that in a humble way without ego you end up with a functional culture

00:45:09.860 an organization um yeah i don't i don't think that i think it's very hard for people who are not

00:45:21.840 in an organization or on a team that operates that way to really understand that what what is that's

00:45:28.660 how i feel with my husband like he's super supportive super loves like i mean just all in but he

00:45:35.040 struggles with why why is it all on you why are you doing and i'm like you don't even see the

00:45:40.220 day-to-day stuff so why are you nitpicking like it's not well it's hard for him to wrap his head

00:45:46.100 around but i'm like you're not in it every day i am yeah different so here's the conversation hey look

00:45:52.080 i know you're trying to i know you're looking out for me and i know that you care and you're making

00:45:57.320 sure i don't get taken advantage of but here's the reality it takes everybody here to make this work

00:46:02.200 and you may see it as i'm doing all the work but i promise you i'm not because this and this and

00:46:08.120 this still has to happen and these things are happening and um you know for you you have to

00:46:13.120 understand that's coming from a place of him trying to make sure that you're not getting screwed over

00:46:17.920 uh which you know i think any good husband has that protective instinct inside of them to make sure 0.97

00:46:26.440 that their wife isn't being fucked with you know so i i don't think it's a bad thing that he thinks 0.62

00:46:33.720 that way i think it's just not in the least and that's right i don't want to sound like yeah yeah 0.95

00:46:37.240 he's fantastic it's just it's been a hard balance because i'm like there has to be other people that

00:46:42.960 have experienced them being the face of it to start i mean from the ground up it wasn't

00:46:47.920 me giving anything it was literally starting it from my like self so it's heavier on me and i'm okay

00:46:53.700 with that i love it like i freaking love it every day well it doesn't sound like you have a real

00:46:59.160 problem okay yeah it does i needed that validation that it's harder for like it's equal it's not the

00:47:07.360 same for every person no it's and dude here's the other thing you're gonna go through phases

00:47:11.420 like there'll be two or three year phases where it's harder on one of us than it is the rest

00:47:17.400 right like sweet that's a normal thing in the beginning it was harder on chris i would say now

00:47:23.860 it's probably harder on me uh and i think chris would fucking admit that you know um but i don't 0.78

00:47:31.020 fucking care like i i look at how i look at it is like bro we started this together we're gonna 0.90

00:47:36.540 fucking finish this together and just because i'm doing more now doesn't mean that your skills aren't 0.99

00:47:41.820 going to become more of it like right now we're working on this new business concept and there's a whole 0.99

00:47:46.780 bunch of shit that he's doing that no one sees you know what i'm saying so like yes there's there's 0.79

00:47:52.300 it's it's ebbs and flows man and how i look at it how i look at my life in general is i've never been 0.98

00:48:00.480 a tit-for-tat person um ever even when yeah no and even when i go to dinner dude like if i go to

00:48:07.120 dinner and you know people are like oh i got it this time oh i got it this time i got this like i don't 0.65

00:48:11.540 like that shit like i just figure like i figure like hey man it's gonna all work out in the end 0.83

00:48:16.180 like it's all 100 yeah it's all gonna work itself out and you know at the at the phase i'm at now i 0.97

00:48:24.260 mean even my successful friends like they don't they don't need anything in return for helping me

00:48:31.420 and vice versa you know everybody understands that okay you're helping me with this and down the road

00:48:38.500 i'm sure there'll be a time where where i have to help you with that and those things all just even

00:48:43.420 the fuck out over the long haul and i think that mentality is a shared mentality amongst highly

00:48:51.820 successful people they don't keep a value or keep score on every little thing they just understand 0.84

00:48:58.360 it's all gonna even out it's all gonna even out awesome i totally agree with that and i appreciate

00:49:04.340 that perspective that i'm not like alone thinking this is crazy i'm like it doesn't matter no i think

00:49:09.080 you're i think you have the mindset of someone who i mean every single successful person i know

00:49:14.360 shares that mindset every not without exception awesome yeah so i thank you so much yeah i so much

00:49:22.340 it's so relieving to feel like i'm not crazy thinking that it has to be this equal business crap

00:49:28.940 no because the more time you try to spend making it equal the less time you're effective in in the 1.00

00:49:33.720 game you know it doesn't fuck i don't fuck it it just needs to get done dude i take the fucking trash 1.00

00:49:39.080 out here if i see it if i see the fucking trash bin fill i fucking take it out like yes i just did 1.00

00:49:43.860 yesterday yeah it's it's whatever needs to be done dude it's whatever needs to be done awesome 0.97

00:49:49.480 thank you so much for your time and um would absolutely love you to run for president so thank you

00:49:54.940 so much i've learned so much and it's just inspirational to listen to you every day and

00:49:59.560 cheer you on and spread your spread the joy and the knowledge of being good and helping others

00:50:09.360 domestic extremism that's right 1.00

00:50:11.060 exactly i am an all-in type of person so i like that type of mentality

00:50:17.020 all right well listen you're doing good just uh you're not crazy you see it the right way

00:50:23.200 it's it's reflective of of my experience of successful people so uh you know if there's

00:50:29.200 another way to do it i don't know it thank you so much i super appreciate your time you're welcome

00:50:34.400 thank you i love that i've actually i've heard you describe like with you and chris before it's

00:50:42.220 like yin and yang yeah you know what i'm saying like it's yin and yang yeah he like i'm doing the

00:50:47.140 shit that he don't want to do he's doing the shit that i don't want to do 0.98

00:50:49.980 i think that's i think that's a requirement man yeah you know and it's it's i could see why it's 0.99

00:51:01.240 hard bro because a lot of people are those scorekeeper type people you know and yeah they

00:51:06.800 are yeah bro and it's not a healthy way to have your home it's not a healthy way to have your

00:51:11.160 friendship it's not a healthy way to run your business you should be around people and surrounded

00:51:17.080 by people that support you and and if it's a fucking tit for tat and a scorekeeping thing 0.95

00:51:27.280 then how genuine is the relationship really you know what i mean yeah yeah not at all man 0.87

00:51:34.080 not at all bro i love it bro that was some fireman guys that was three yep yeah listen guys let's get

00:51:40.740 out here let's make it a good week uh remember personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion

00:51:45.660 you winning creates a situation that they cannot control okay you are supposed to become fit you are

00:51:53.820 supposed to become wealthy you are supposed to be healthy you are supposed to be unified you are

00:52:01.080 supposed to be a good person and every single thing they do is trying to break that down and when you

00:52:06.440 recognize it you start to understand the urgency of the matter it is a duty it is an obligation

00:52:12.660 and uh you guys need to get out there this week and make that happen all right so don't be a hoe 1.00

00:52:17.000 shout out the shot 0.99

00:52:18.040 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stove counted millions in the 1.00

00:52:25.940 code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold that's a no headshot case closed 1.00

00:52:32.920 you 1.00

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 29, 2025

944. Q&AF： Rethinking Success, Redefining Life's Mission & Balancing Business Responsibilities

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 29, 2025

944. Q&#x26;AF： Rethinking Success, Redefining Life&#x27;s Mission &#x26; Balancing Business Responsibilities

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

944. Q&AF： Rethinking Success, Redefining Life's Mission & Balancing Business Responsibilities