REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 998. Q&AF： Waiting For Recognition, Gaining Control In Business & Stuck In Life

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.760 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we

00:00:27.320 have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers dj tell them how they

00:00:35.640 could submit their questions yeah guys you can email your questions into asking indy at andy

00:00:39.320 for seller.com you can click the link in the description to submit your questions for a

00:00:43.080 chance to be answered or drop them in the comments of the q and af videos on this feed now we have

00:00:49.840 made an executive decision that we are just going to go ahead and stick with the original youtube

00:00:54.280 channel so just letting you guys know that so you will find the q and af episodes under the videos

00:01:00.280 tab and you will find the cti episodes under the live tab that's right um with that being said if

00:01:06.080 you are new to the show we have shows within the show it's not going to be the same thing every day

00:01:12.440 okay we have personal development and then we have society culture and comedy all right we like to think

00:01:18.100 it's comedy um comedy to somebody yeah if nobody else at least to us okay uh so q and as q and afs

00:01:26.860 typically go on mondays um and then monday nights we have cti which is cruise the internet is where we

00:01:32.860 talk about what's going on in society and culture uh that's a live show that we do at 7 p.m on mondays

00:01:40.180 and thursdays and then we have after hours which is uh a 7 p.m live stream from my uh cigar lounge

00:01:48.640 where we just kind of hang out with you guys so that's what we got going on and in addition

00:01:53.140 occasionally we will have real talk real talk is just like a rant it's 5 to 20 minutes of me giving

00:01:58.520 you some real talk and then we have what's called 75 hard verses this is where people who have completed

00:02:04.080 the 75 hard program come on the show they talk about how they were before how they are now and

00:02:10.980 how they use the 75 hard program to fix their lives if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard it is the initial

00:02:17.840 phase of the live hard program the live hard program is the most popular mental transformation program

00:02:25.260 in history and it is free you can get it at episode 208 there is also a book on this the book is called

00:02:33.180 the book on mental toughness it's available at andy for seller.com uh it's very popular book

00:02:38.180 sometimes we have it sometimes we're sold out but if you're somebody like me that likes to know

00:02:43.340 the ins and outs and dive into all the details and the whys and the hows and what is and what isn't

00:02:49.200 the book is highly recommended okay you don't have to buy it but people think it's a pretty good book

00:02:55.160 okay um let's see we got a fee gotta pay all right one thing about our show that we do differently

00:03:02.060 than literally every other show is i don't take ads for the show okay i'm not for sale i never have

00:03:09.200 been every single podcast that i've ever done for the last 11 years has been done on my own dollar

00:03:15.380 all right and the reason for that is because i don't want to feel pressure from anybody about what

00:03:23.000 i can and can't say my whole thing is i'm gonna keep it real with you guys and i don't want anybody

00:03:28.540 thinking oh andy's getting told to say this or that okay so we don't run ads on the show but i

00:03:33.580 ask you guys this is very important that you do something for us okay help us grow the show a lot

00:03:41.760 of you guys love the messaging a lot of you guys make big improvements in your lives and we need to

00:03:47.660 fix what's going on in the world and we need more people getting better okay and we need more people

00:03:53.160 aware to what's going on so we ask very simply that if you enjoy the show if you like the show

00:04:00.780 if it gives you a new perspective if you learn skill sets do us a favor and share the show that

00:04:06.740 doesn't mean share the show once that means if you listen to the show and it's good do us a favor

00:04:13.160 and share it okay so don't be a hoe share the show yeah what you got on your head there oh i got

00:04:20.140 this uh i got the new operator hat from operator standard huh yeah that's nice yep that's cool

00:04:29.420 yeah it's going to be operator standard exclusive so it's not going to be available oh man that's

00:04:33.860 good oh they're gonna be hot yeah they're gonna be hot yeah but uh but yeah you know we we launched

00:04:40.300 operator standard um and uh the operator standard podcast which is available in the app it's not open

00:04:47.840 to the public we are working out a it's it's it's a technology it's not a group it's not just a

00:04:54.120 podcast and we're we're using the early adopters the people who jumped in in december to really plug

00:05:00.140 the holes in that system so uh and then we will have a big launch coming up uh in the next few months

00:05:05.240 so that'll be a live event um it'll be streamed you guys can find all about it but it's going to be

00:05:11.440 really cool yeah some of the most revolutionary technology that's ever been developed yeah so

00:05:16.660 i'm using it for the good it's so it's so big that i think eventually that's what people will

00:05:21.120 know me for so i think it's gonna be the biggest thing fucking ever honestly yeah yeah it's real

00:05:27.020 people are fucking winning too bro yeah they are it's awesome yeah they are it's awesome dude i did

00:05:31.740 a i did a live stream in there with the with the people the other day and like i was asking about

00:05:37.020 their wins dude it was it was crazy yeah like 30 pounds down 20 pounds down making more money

00:05:44.680 got this going on like it was just it was fucking cool man because like look dude if we're gonna fix

00:05:52.320 what's going on in the world which everybody is frustrated about we have to build better human

00:05:56.660 beings that's the bottom line yeah so you have and it's easy to set that goal out there but being

00:06:01.580 able to walk it backwards that's where i think a lot of people miss it yeah well you can't give away

00:06:06.740 the fucking the full secret yeah all right no secret sauce it's very helpful very very fucking

00:06:12.740 helpful yeah you're in there yeah you got your little crew in there yeah yeah that's cool calls

00:06:17.320 and everything you know it's cool um but yeah sick man well let's uh let's let's try to help some

00:06:22.920 people let's try to make some people better how we can you guys know how this works i got three good

00:06:27.640 ones for you all right yeah let's do it uh guys andy question number one andy i've made some decent

00:06:35.020 progress so far uh no payoffs no massive payoffs no big wins just yet though uh part of me feels proud

00:06:42.920 and part of me wonders if i'm just settling because nothing looks impressive from the outside

00:06:48.800 how do you measure winning when no one's clapping for you uh i know the horse goes before the cart man

00:06:56.220 but how does how big does the win needs to be before you get the collapse well if you're doing

00:07:02.660 it for the collapse you're doing it for the wrong reason okay because let me tell you a little secret

00:07:07.240 right now you're looking for people to celebrate winning and unfortunately in the culture that we

00:07:12.620 live in people will pretend to celebrate winning and then feel jealous and spiteful and bitter and

00:07:18.600 frustrated about their own lives so what will happen and everybody needs to just accept that this is

00:07:24.120 the reality you will get to a point where your success is recognized but once you get to that point

00:07:32.080 people do not clap the way that you expect them to okay and if you're doing everything that you're

00:07:40.340 doing for the admiration or the validation externally you need to realign and think about why you're doing

00:07:49.460 it because building something is a lonely process especially in the beginning but i'm telling you

00:07:57.600 none of you this man or woman or anybody else needs any fucking validation from the outside world and to

00:08:06.220 expect it is a false expectation that creates this this extra weight that you have to carry that you

00:08:14.200 don't need to carry there's other shit to carry that's right it's going to be hard enough dude

00:08:17.980 so you you have to understand most of your outcome comes for i would say 98 of your outcome

00:08:25.400 comes from you controlling the things that you can at such a level that the two percent of the time

00:08:33.380 that it's not in your control the people who are quote unquote they have the connections or they have

00:08:38.960 the gatekeeping or they've built something that you guys all want to be at those tables everybody's

00:08:45.040 worried about networking you don't understand that unless you are controlling the things that you

00:08:50.760 can control at the highest level possible those people won't even have the conversation to bring

00:08:56.540 you to the table because they see the holes in your game so when i say 98 of it it's really a hundred

00:09:05.100 percent okay because once you become that person the other people that are like that recognize that

00:09:12.400 because it's so rare that they start asking you to come to the things and go on this trip and come to

00:09:19.120 this meeting or i got this opportunity and that's where things start to materialize and when that happens

00:09:24.140 you create a whole new network of people that think nothing like the people that you came from

00:09:31.140 who are there to not instill doubt in you anymore now they're gassing you up now they're saying hey

00:09:38.700 man you you're a fucking stud bro you just got to keep going you got to keep moving down and they start

00:09:44.640 to mentor you and they start to help and they start to push you forward and that's where you want to be

00:09:49.560 you want to be surrounded by people who are going to help you win and those people that you knew from

00:09:56.960 back in the day from high school or college that are living completely different lives you can't

00:10:03.480 expect them to even understand why you want what you want because they are perfectly fine where they

00:10:09.920 are that does not make them bad people that makes them on a different journey than you're on okay so

00:10:16.880 you can maintain relationships with people from the past you can still have friends you can still have

00:10:22.700 family you can still have all that shit but you can't get them to understand something that they've

00:10:30.920 never even thought about okay these people have never thought about what they are actually capable of

00:10:36.400 they have never thought about actually wanting more they look at success as this thing that's out there that

00:10:43.960 is reserved for certain people and they believe in their heart that they are not one of those people

00:10:49.480 which means they will never become one of those people but i am here to tell you that that is not

00:10:54.480 the truth the truth is you've got to become that person first and then you get your your way into

00:11:00.460 the door the doors start to open so in between those two things you know i call that no man's land

00:11:06.980 right in the beginning of your journey you're surrounded by let's say you're 20 years old okay you're

00:11:13.520 surrounded by your high school buddies and maybe some college friends and some people that you've known

00:11:17.880 your whole life and that's comfortable all right but the minute that you start to say i'm going to

00:11:26.220 go do this or i'm going to be this or i have these dreams that's where the chirping starts that's where

00:11:31.360 the doubt is seeded that's where it's it appears like they're caring but they're not actually caring

00:11:38.240 they're trying to keep you in the circle and when you start to move out that's why they say shit like

00:11:43.740 who the fuck does andy think he is you know he thinks he's better than everybody no i don't think

00:11:48.860 i'm better than everybody i think i want better for myself and you're interpreting it that way

00:11:53.460 so we have to understand what we're dealing with here and it's it's it's it's just a part of the

00:12:02.360 process dude it's like breathing the air having people chirp having people talk shit having people

00:12:10.380 not like you having people you know that you used to know now you know want to see you that is normal

00:12:17.980 shit that is normal shit that every single person who's ever built anything deals with that all of

00:12:26.540 them and if you can't get through that you don't have what the fuck it takes so you got to understand

00:12:32.140 dude it's a requirement it's like it's literally like here hey steve here's the path come with me

00:12:39.900 oh man there's that one part there and it looks really tough how could you know i don't know if

00:12:45.020 i want to go through it okay well you're not going to get over here then yeah right like there's no

00:12:49.340 other path you got to go through it so you guys who are young you have to understand this is part of

00:12:55.360 the process but i'm telling you as someone who's been through that process it continues to go through

00:13:00.840 that process because it never stops because once you outgrow that next that next group of friends

00:13:06.880 in the middle area and that next group of friends in the next middle area and you're moving your way

00:13:12.160 up as long as you go it's always the same behavior the minute you start to escalate from the successful

00:13:17.460 group the same shit starts to happen in a different way so you have to be okay with other people having

00:13:24.620 opinions that you don't think are good but they have them okay and this is why like when you guys watch

00:13:31.840 me on cti or you know you you you say like people say i don't care bro you don't have to agree i don't

00:13:39.140 give a shit if you agree with me that's this is my shit this is what i think this is what i know this

00:13:44.120 is what i'm seeing and if you see it a different way cool cool yeah and like legitimately i don't care

00:13:51.120 and in the beginning you care a lot because you don't understand it but that's a useful thing

00:13:57.040 we have to learn to use that because there's way more negativity out here than there is positivity

00:14:03.020 and if you lack the ability to take the negativity and turn it into productive action then you lack an

00:14:09.120 essential tool that is that is required for success so your job in this part of the phase is to take all

00:14:16.340 the shit that people say all the doubt all the shit talking all the things they say and fucking

00:14:22.500 remember it build a massive chip on your shoulder and then when you feel lazy or you don't feel like

00:14:29.920 doing it or you don't feel like you know this is the right path you think back on all the shit people

00:14:34.780 said you say fuck them i'm fucking doing it okay so it's a useful thing but you got to learn to use it

00:14:41.840 and when you get to that point like you're in the upper levels you don't hear it as much but when you do

00:14:49.620 hear it you're conditioned to use it so it's always useful for people to hate it's always useful for

00:14:55.960 people to talk shit it's always useful for people to say you can't do shit if you know how to use it

00:15:01.760 properly and using it properly is a requirement for success regardless of what any other fucking feel

00:15:09.160 good guru motherfuckers on the internet say negative energy is far more powerful for progress than

00:15:16.140 positive energy you will move faster away from you don't want then towards what you want that's the

00:15:22.680 reality you will move faster away from pain than you will towards pleasure that's a normal thing for

00:15:29.980 human beings so if you learn how to use it you accept the game for what it is it becomes irrelevant

00:15:36.860 but you got to understand dude you got to go through it it's it's required so your expectation

00:15:45.860 of you know people are going to clap and cheer and ho bro they're not they're just fucking not

00:15:51.440 they're until it's so undeniable and it's so obvious that you're a fucking winner and anything

00:15:57.520 you say and do is going to fucking happen bro to the to this day okay i've been winning for

00:16:03.920 20 fucking seven years all right to this fucking day when i say oh i'm gonna do this there's still

00:16:11.800 people that are like oh i don't know about that yeah and i'm thankful for those people yeah i like

00:16:16.100 it okay because i bank that shit i'm like all right we'll see motherfucker we'll see i'm gonna make

00:16:21.720 you eat that shit okay and and that's how it works yeah so um i feel like you you speak a lot too on my

00:16:31.480 you know how important it is having awareness as an individual right like being able to like truly

00:16:37.120 just look where are you you know i'm saying what are you actually doing right and i and i bring that

00:16:42.380 up because i feel like with the validation thing it's like so you're telling me like you need other

00:16:46.480 people clapping for you telling you that you're doing it the right way like can't you just look

00:16:50.200 at your shit and tell yourself if you're doing it the right way yeah i'm saying yeah yeah isn't there

00:16:54.720 awareness to this yeah yeah for sure man but you know i think the last 25 years of everybody getting

00:17:03.780 a trophy for every little thing and everybody getting a celebrated for fucking you know doing

00:17:08.820 shit that they're supposed to do every day anyway has changed the perspective with a lot of people

00:17:15.320 yeah so like when they work hard for a week they want to be like i worked hard this week well fuck

00:17:20.540 welcome to the club yeah right that's what the fuck we do right where's my pizza party yeah like

00:17:24.860 i worked hard for five years yeah nobody cares right here's what you got to understand

00:17:29.980 bottom line here's the bottom line you ready nobody fucking cares you care just because you care

00:17:39.480 doesn't mean they care okay nobody fucking cares they got their own shit going on they got their own

00:17:45.440 drama going on they got their own lives going on you might be a comment and they might say something

00:17:52.680 and and two seconds later they're worried about something else they don't care no one cares and

00:17:59.600 they don't care about you you think that people care about you they don't fucking care about you they

00:18:04.020 care about themselves they care about themselves that goes for every fucking person on the planet

00:18:09.260 okay i'm not saying your mom doesn't love you you're right i'm not saying your dad doesn't love

00:18:14.980 you i'm not saying your brother doesn't love you but i am saying outside of that nobody gives a fuck

00:18:19.540 and the harsh reality of the world is this people really only care about things that benefit them

00:18:26.080 and until you become someone to where your mere existence is benefiting thousands of people

00:18:34.460 nobody cares and by the way the minute that stops no one cares again it's not caring okay and that's

00:18:41.500 reality and people will say shit like this so you're saying that old people only care if you if you're

00:18:46.520 successful yes no that's what i'm saying okay uh but it opens your options for life okay it opens your

00:18:54.260 options and into you know furthering your ability to take care of the people that you love it opens your

00:19:00.100 options for your future mate it opens the options for you to have the choice of how you want to live

00:19:05.280 your life and the reality is

00:19:07.200 you either want it or you don't okay so you know you got to accept the cost up front bro you got to

00:19:17.240 understand like this is the way it is this is what i'm prepared to do and i'm gonna do those things

00:19:23.680 you know that's real dude that's real man let's get to uh let's get to question number two

00:19:28.340 uh andy uh andy i started my business because i hated feeling controlled but now it feels like

00:19:36.740 the business controls me correct i'm reacting all day instead of leading and every problem feels

00:19:43.160 urgent how do you get back into the driver's seat uh when the thing you built starts running you

00:19:48.260 well oh man that well look dude um that's the big misconception about owning a company or starting a

00:19:55.300 business or being an entrepreneur you know like this saying that people say oh man i want the freedom

00:20:01.320 to be an entrepreneur what the fuck are you talking about to make my own there's no fucking freedom in

00:20:06.800 entrepreneurship until maybe you've sold your business or maybe you've made it to such a point

00:20:12.560 that you can hire people to potentially run it for you and even that is not really that real if you

00:20:18.720 really want to make it so this idea of starting a company or a business for the idea of freedom

00:20:25.180 is not a real thing so again you've got to accept the reality up front you're not getting more freedom

00:20:32.660 you're trading one kind of control for another kind of control you're trading the ability to make

00:20:37.740 uh the ability to not make the decisions for your own existence for the ability to make your decisions

00:20:44.820 for your own existence but that's not actually freedom you just answer to different people

00:20:49.620 okay now instead of answering to your boss you're answering to your customers now instead of uh you

00:20:56.160 know answering to uh a company you're answering to your team right all right so this is a different

00:21:03.600 it's just a different thing you're trading one sort of control for another and yes it provides

00:21:09.240 certain decisions certain luxuries certain outcomes that you wouldn't be able to have

00:21:17.900 working in this first time but those only come after years and years and years right yeah so

00:21:25.160 this idea that you're going to be freer is not a real thing all right so that's the first thing you

00:21:34.400 got to understand in order of like getting back into control this is about understanding what drives

00:21:41.040 the business forward and letting the other shit taking the other shit off the table okay motion comes

00:21:48.040 not from adding more but some subtracting things that don't move the needle so what are the things that

00:21:55.220 you're doing every day that you think are urgent because you're hyper vigilant about winning

00:22:00.940 but won't actually move the needle forward and you've got to become very discerning at where you

00:22:08.160 spend your time because we only have a certain amount of time and we only have a certain amount

00:22:13.240 of capacity to make the decisions and you want to spend that time and those decisions and your energy when

00:22:20.040 it's fresh on the things that matter most so this is it i this is prioritization okay what's critical

00:22:26.840 and what is not critical what is going to move the needle forward today and then the fires get

00:22:33.120 priority after that now if the fire is big enough and it's going to derail the business then that

00:22:39.400 would become a higher priority type of situation right but go you learn this instinctually um through

00:22:47.680 the experience of going down the path you know back when i was early in business you know i can relate

00:22:54.320 to this question because things would happen and i'd be like oh fuck the world's gonna fucking crash

00:22:58.280 everything's right and dude that's hard okay and by the way in the beginning things are much more

00:23:05.320 critical because you don't have the momentum moving forward so when you're in that beginning middle phase

00:23:12.640 it's very hard to identify the difference because everything feels critical and i think that's a good

00:23:19.220 thing i don't think that's a bad thing i think it's a great thing to be hyper vigilant about your

00:23:24.000 business because everybody else is and that's who you're competing against all right no nobody

00:23:29.260 that's winning is casual nobody that's winning is taking it easy nobody that's winning is like saying

00:23:34.860 oh well that doesn't really matter no they have the same attitude you have but they understand how

00:23:40.300 to prioritize those situations into what continues to move us versus what needs to be addressed now

00:23:46.220 so you you will learn this as you go and it will become much easier for you to deal with

00:23:52.220 like for me at this point in my life i have my critical tasks that move the business forward or

00:23:59.300 move my my initiatives forward it might be for this or it might be for something else i've got going on

00:24:03.840 but then i have my firefighters okay right and that that is all day every day okay so in between my

00:24:12.440 critical things that are moving forward i am addressing these things that are going on throughout the

00:24:17.380 day and obviously i have teams and people around which allow that to uh happen quickly yeah to solve

00:24:26.100 problems quickly but at the end of the day man um you know you you have to just continue to go and

00:24:33.400 learn how to prioritize things that are going to move you forward versus things that aren't the end of

00:24:39.540 the world right now okay but those things still have to be addressed because if you allow them to grow

00:24:44.680 and spread they can be the end of the world i would do that was going to be my follow-up bro like how

00:24:48.280 many how many how many times have you seen people just simply because of delaying addressing something

00:24:53.400 it happens all the time ruins everything yeah it happens all the time you know and it could be it

00:24:58.240 could start off as so far bro lack of urge like everybody talks about uh fucking hustle culture

00:25:03.520 and this and that and this bro those people lose those people all lose all of them they don't get it

00:25:10.220 nobody says anything about that that's actually built something or if they have they've exited

00:25:16.820 that company and they've forgotten what it's like to run it and rebranded themselves as this

00:25:20.460 no i'm not even saying that when you get out of the fucking fight yeah it you start to like think

00:25:26.380 differently and you you think you're still thinking like you used to but you're not okay so

00:25:31.460 this idea that you hear on the internet you know about urgency being a bad thing or hyper vigilance

00:25:41.020 being a bad thing or not uh you know being less urgent and people knocking that bro listen none of

00:25:48.860 those people have built a real business they might they might be a fuck they might be building a coaching

00:25:53.600 business off of a bunch of people that are never going to win and victimizing them and telling them

00:25:58.540 oh take it easy and you'll win but they ain't gonna fucking win either okay so you got to

00:26:03.720 understand dude this is what the fuck it takes it takes that so when you hear like all these do-gooders

00:26:09.960 and these fucking fluffy nice things on the internet you got to realize that's for other people bro you're

00:26:15.560 here to fucking win you're here to build you're here to create you're here to become and if that's a

00:26:19.460 serious thing for you and that's seriously what you want you're entering into the most vicious

00:26:23.520 competition that exists on the fucking planet more than fucking baseball more than

00:26:28.520 football more than mma and it also is the longest it lasts your whole life okay so you are

00:26:34.820 voluntarily entering into a competition with other people that are willing to fucking die

00:26:41.760 in order to win and if you don't have that fucking in you you're gonna lose that is how fucking

00:26:49.120 competition works so if you're one of these people that's like man i think i want to start a business

00:26:54.560 because it's i get more freedom and this and that and this bro don't you'll get killed you'll get

00:27:01.460 it'll ruin your life it'll ruin your fucking life because you'll leave your life now you'll get into

00:27:07.460 this and you'll get fucking destroyed you'll spend all your money and you'll be fucking broke and you

00:27:12.880 won't know what to do so i'm just being real with you guys if you think that this is anything other

00:27:19.120 than a fucking gauntlet that you're going to run down your entire life in order to create a different

00:27:25.860 sort of existence for yourself and you are willing to go to fucking battle every single motherfucking

00:27:31.380 day for the next 20 fucking years at a minimum if you can't do that you shouldn't do it you should

00:27:37.920 not do it you will get fucking crushed now you might be able to be one of these internet scammers and

00:27:43.260 come up with some sort of bullshit in the meantime and make a little money i'm talking about building

00:27:47.740 something fucking real i'm talking about real company i'm not talking about a fucking hustle

00:27:52.120 get it absolutely you have to do it you have to do it it's required there's other people doing what

00:27:58.500 you do that will eat your fucking food right off of your table and laugh you don't understand that

00:28:03.200 yeah people don't understand that like it's vicious bro now i'm not saying you should be vicious you can

00:28:09.640 become very successful by being great at what you do and being a good person but you got to be

00:28:16.180 prepared for what it's going to take you can be naive no yeah yeah let me ask you this because

00:28:21.440 i feel like this would also be something that like somebody would want to try to do like alleviate

00:28:25.960 these problems by making somebody else or designating somebody else to go handle the bullshit right well

00:28:31.640 i mean obviously but like how important it is is it i guess learning those lessons of you know

00:28:37.380 figuring out if this problem big rather than just passing it off and delegating it to one of your

00:28:42.260 employees or something what do you mean so like you got the problems coming up you feel like you're

00:28:46.380 out of out of control right all this shit you have an employee who's really good just hey you go handle

00:28:53.140 that and just put it all off on them yeah meanwhile you're missing all the lessons that you're supposed

00:28:57.240 to be learning by handling well i mean what point do you you assign little firefighters first of all

00:29:02.060 if you're actually the kind of person that's going to win other winners will be attracted to you people

00:29:11.040 who are also willing to go down that path with you but those winners and this is the fucking mistake

00:29:16.820 people make there are fucking savages that are not entrepreneurs not every savage becomes an entrepreneur

00:29:24.260 there are tons of savages that work within the framework of another company those people the people

00:29:31.360 that you're asking about will only work with the the former that i described because they want to

00:29:38.640 fucking win too and they are not going to attach all of their effort all of their life all of their shit

00:29:44.240 to someone who's casual about it it's not going to happen okay so in order to even have the kind of

00:29:51.380 person that you can hand things off to and have it fixed you have to be that same kind of person

00:29:58.700 otherwise you end up with some a bunch of incompetent dumbasses that you know don't really give a shit

00:30:06.320 because let's be real dude what's the workforce made up of okay our workforce here because we have

00:30:13.280 stringent cultural standards that we have abided by for a long time we are fucking savages everybody in

00:30:19.920 this motherfucking building okay normal culture what is it it's fucking people who have low standards

00:30:29.220 nine five it's not the attitude is i'm not doing that fucking it's 501 right right right uh you know

00:30:36.340 i'm not doing they're not paying me for that and then you wonder why you know they're 100 pounds

00:30:41.960 overweight and the biggest excitement of their entire life is when they throw a fucking pizza party

00:30:46.780 and and the corporate office and it's fucking karen's birthday yeah right it's fucking karen's

00:30:51.340 birthday who's got the dough everybody we got fucking cake oh you got cake okay i'll be there

00:30:58.240 right i was gonna start my diet today but ah well you know monday yeah right like it's loser shit bro

00:31:05.420 so you got to understand that most people out there they don't want to they're not trying to

00:31:11.020 achieve the highest fucking standard for themselves they're trying to get paid so they can buy their

00:31:16.760 shit and then ironically those same people who have very low standards blame the company for

00:31:22.020 not paying them enough because they don't fucking provide any real value okay but again that usually

00:31:28.080 comes from the leader if you go into a company where you see the people i'm describing and then look

00:31:33.040 at their leader their leader usually looks the same they usually act the same they usually talk the

00:31:38.200 same they usually get extra excited about the cake yeah right okay these are losers they will

00:31:46.020 lose i'm not saying these are losers like they're bad people i'm saying factually they are going to

00:31:53.380 lose over and over and over and over and over that's just reality dude so you got to ask yourself

00:31:58.920 what are you actually trying to do what are you actually willing to do to get there

00:32:04.060 and if you buy all the way in you will attract other people that are willing to go down that path with

00:32:12.060 you okay when you do that those people are more than willing to step in and help and they will help

00:32:20.640 you with the fires and they will help you with the minutia and they will help you with the shit

00:32:24.420 but that's never in the beginning bro that's only after you've proven yourself to be battle tested to

00:32:30.100 where you're going to go through the fucking gauntlet and other people are going to say goddamn that's tough

00:32:34.000 motherfucker i'm gonna fucking i'm gonna hitch my wagon to that motherfucker yeah okay because you're

00:32:38.580 asking them to trade their life for your fucking mission do you understand that people spend more

00:32:47.020 life and work than they do at any other place okay if you don't have a fucking worthy mission if you

00:32:54.360 don't have a a mission that's big enough that means something that allows them to cultivate all

00:33:01.820 of their desires and all of their dreams and all of the things that they want to become inside of that

00:33:06.960 you can't do it okay the days of of recruiting high talent to to to to build a fucking you know

00:33:16.560 landscape company that has no ambition to grow and they're just going to stay the same that doesn't

00:33:20.680 happen dude no the winners don't go there okay it's just it's like college football i always bring

00:33:26.180 it back to this the real win where are the real winners want to play they want to play places that

00:33:31.600 are fucking proven to win that's right they get the best talent they get the best recruits

00:33:35.240 same for your best shit the uniforms it's the same yeah that comes later though yeah okay

00:33:40.920 when you are when you're not that kind of a person you you know i'll play at a community college

00:33:50.220 yeah i'll play d3 it's cool i like the game yeah right those motherfuckers at alabama or indiana

00:33:57.540 they ain't playing for the fucking love of the game they're playing to fucking win

00:34:00.660 okay and there is a big difference i'm not saying you can't build a small company that could provide

00:34:06.840 but if you do build a small company and you keep it small you're going to have massive turnover over

00:34:11.840 and over and over and over again and you're never going to have real killers want to work for you

00:34:15.320 because there's no fucking outside for them like why the fuck would a real killer work for someone

00:34:21.220 who's happy where they are they fucking won't it doesn't work that way so you have to be committed

00:34:27.260 and the vision has to be big and it has to be big enough to where they can provide for their families

00:34:32.900 the way they want to inside of that okay i i could have stopped my company 15 fucking years ago

00:34:41.040 okay but if i did that i would not have the great people around me i would not have all these young

00:34:50.000 people who have come in learned all these skill sets and by the way some of them moved on to other

00:34:54.540 things and they become successful in other ways all right but if you stop and you just say oh i just

00:35:01.780 want enough for a bass boat and a fucking this or that bro you're you're setting yourself up

00:35:08.800 to get your fucking ass beat worse than if you went for the big vision does that make sense

00:35:18.300 because now you're dealing with fires all the time now you're dealing with disgruntled people all the

00:35:24.420 time now you're having people come in and be like oh this sucks and quit now you have more headaches

00:35:29.980 when you have a big fucking vision and people can clearly see that you are very intent on accomplishing

00:35:36.360 that vision the the great people come to you bro they come they'll they'll fucking they'll come from

00:35:41.680 other dude we got people here that are from fucking europe that have moved here to work here yeah you

00:35:47.100 understand crazy right it's not crazy but no because the fucking mission is worthy and it's big and people

00:35:54.340 want to be a part of shit like that yeah so and you could do that in any company dude you can set

00:35:59.980 you you've just got to fucking think about it you know what i mean yeah i love it man well we got one

00:36:05.420 more for the people andy guys question three andy i don't even know how to word this right but i feel

00:36:15.620 stuck in the life i chose no one forced me into it i'm 32 years old i'm single no kids i do have a

00:36:23.540 really good career that i love i'm not miserable just boxed in responsibility stack up and it feels like

00:36:30.020 there's no room left to change direction without screwing everything up so how do you make a move

00:36:35.840 when nothing feels safer uh but staying put feels even worse what what kind of responsibilities could

00:36:44.640 you have at 32 years old with no kids you're as free as you're ever going to be brother the moves

00:36:50.600 you need to make are going to be like right now is the time to make them if you're going to make them

00:36:55.120 yeah okay um and very simply you have to ask yourself and you already answered it

00:37:00.800 is it worse staying where you are or is it worse going down the path to get where you want to be

00:37:08.600 and i think you already answered the question you said i feel boxed in i don't like where i'm at

00:37:15.260 i don't like what i've got well i can promise you if you stay there it's only going to get worse

00:37:22.200 you know and this comes down to how people evaluate risk right yeah most people evaluate risk from

00:37:28.740 you know what if i do this and this happens and this happens and this happens and this happens

00:37:34.680 instead of the proper way of evaluating risk which is what happens if i don't what happens if i don't

00:37:40.820 you already know what happens if you don't because you're fucking living in it and you fucking hate it

00:37:45.400 so you answer your own question bro and to be completely honest with you the fact that you're not

00:37:51.400 married the fact that you don't have kids bro you think you you think you've got responsibility now

00:37:57.540 go get fucking married and have some kids and then feel how fucking trapped you're going to feel in a

00:38:01.880 place that you can't escape okay so you're in the perfect position to pivot to who you want to become

00:38:07.820 what kind of life you want to live and and you know a lot of people that are 32 say i'm fucking 32 bro

00:38:14.100 you're still a fucking kid you're still a kid you know i i to me the question's answered in the

00:38:23.480 question i mean this guy already knows you just want to hear it here's the answer go fucking do it

00:38:29.040 or you're going to regret it your whole fucking life and it's going to get worse wherever you're at

00:38:34.380 if you don't take action forward it's not going to maintain because everybody else is moving forward

00:38:40.660 society is moving forward if you try to stay where you are you're automatically going backwards by

00:38:48.160 default because everything's moving forward so the key is you have to move forward faster than

00:38:53.360 everybody else so the truth of the matter is for this dude is uh yeah if you stay where you are you're

00:38:59.220 gonna hate your fucking life forever yeah yeah so you better do it yeah that's a pretty simple one

00:39:05.760 man dude yeah i mean he answered the question in the question you know he already knows you already

00:39:10.720 know you already know you guys all know like what the fuck are you listening to me for you all fucking

00:39:15.900 know you know that your life sucks right now you know that things need to change go change them you

00:39:23.720 are in control of those things you are in control of all the things that create the outcome

00:39:27.280 not someone else not magic not the president not your fucking mom not the kids from high school

00:39:35.680 none of that shit matters bro it's simple inputs and outputs what actions are you taking to create

00:39:42.260 the result and if you take enough actions over the course of time the result changes

00:39:46.320 and things get better and that is fucking it man it's not this is not hard this it's it's not hard

00:39:53.900 to understand it's hard to do and a lot of you guys ask questions because you're trying to ask for a

00:40:00.680 hack around the hard well i'm sorry dude um i don't have one okay now maybe all these other smart

00:40:07.420 people who have built real things in real life uh you know that you see on the internet offering

00:40:12.480 advice for fucking free you know maybe they know a way to hack around but uh you know i would highly

00:40:18.680 consider looking at their actual uh results and how they actually make money because right now we are

00:40:25.020 inundated with a bunch of people that make money by selling people on ideas about how to make money

00:40:29.180 and they never made money any other way okay and i'm telling you as someone who's built multiple

00:40:33.980 things in real life and i'm talking about things that exist things with employees products that ship

00:40:39.060 okay in many different industries i'm just fucking telling you there is no hack it's a long journey

00:40:45.740 you have to go through it every single day you need to win every single day along the way

00:40:50.040 and eventually your external reality starts to materialize okay and a lot of people don't even

00:40:55.840 understand that they don't understand that to change your identity of who you are

00:41:01.560 it's very simple you just got to make a decision all right the life that you're living in right now

00:41:09.800 when you look around and you see like the house you're living in or the apartment or the car you're

00:41:14.080 driving all of that shit was dictated and by the way this goes if you're winning too if you're winning

00:41:19.220 and you're looking around you're like man i got a nice car a fucking nice house i'm winning right

00:41:22.640 this is not just for people that are losing whatever you're living in your physical reality

00:41:27.640 right now was created by a past version of you okay today whether you're winning or losing you

00:41:35.580 have the opportunity to say i want to do this i want to become this i want to take this further i

00:41:40.620 want to do these things i want to become this kind of person i don't want to be fat anymore i want to be

00:41:45.100 fit i don't want to be broke anymore i want to make money i don't want to be a dumbass anymore i want

00:41:49.760 to get educated that's a decision okay and then all you have to do is model the behavior of the

00:41:55.180 people that fucking do those things and eventually your external reality materializes to look similar

00:42:00.320 to theirs so this is not magic bro and this is the thing people think this is magic or it's luck

00:42:08.660 or it's circumstance or it's this or it's that because that's all they've ever heard from all the

00:42:14.360 people around them their whole lives how many of you have seen someone who's successful who's driving

00:42:22.060 a nice car who's got their shit together who's built a nice company or whatever and you're like

00:42:27.280 man that's pretty cool and then you have a friend or a parent or somebody that you hang out with be

00:42:32.360 like yeah but fuck dude uh you know that guy fucked everybody over along the way i'm not willing to do

00:42:38.020 that because i'm real no you're a bitch okay you're hiding behind your own preconceived which

00:42:45.780 are inaccurate assumptions about anybody who's built anything because i'm going to tell you something

00:42:51.420 in today's world the way that word of mouth spreads you have to have integrity you have to provide real

00:42:58.060 value you have to be the real deal to even win otherwise you get found out on the internet and your

00:43:04.600 shit goes away and your reputation is ruined and you can't do shit all these motherfucking coach coaches

00:43:09.360 i coach coaches to coach coaches to coach coaches they're learning that lesson very fucking hard right

00:43:15.040 now yeah okay so it's a long game you have a choice right now to decide that you want different and all

00:43:25.600 you have to do is behave differently from here on out it's it's not magical it's just fucking hard

00:43:33.180 okay and if you're willing to gut through the hard it will become easy just like when you get into a

00:43:40.060 cold swimming pool and you're like the first you know you guys are all into cold plunges the first

00:43:44.660 time you do a cold plunge you're like fuck you know but after like six or seven days you're like

00:43:50.900 this sucks and then after like a month you're you just get right in and it's normal okay that's the

00:43:57.740 same way this works you are at the beginning you start to move it's very hard then it just becomes

00:44:05.420 your life it's no longer hard you acclimate to it like when i wake up it's like dude i have a big life

00:44:12.720 man like i have a lot of responsibility i have a lot of projects going i have a lot of shit that i have to

00:44:18.440 do okay i don't wake up every day and and think fuck this is so hard i i now some days i might wake

00:44:27.660 up and say i don't feel like doing that today but it's not really hard like it's just shit i gotta do

00:44:34.460 yeah right you know what i'm saying like i don't you you get acclimated to it guys and that's what you

00:44:41.700 got to understand and the reason that you don't understand is because you haven't been doing it long

00:44:45.020 enough eventually you get used to it and it becomes just your your standards and that and the cool

00:44:51.000 thing is is that when you model winning for long enough you know eventually you're not chasing winning

00:44:57.280 anymore winning is just what the fuck you do that's who you are so when it becomes that winning isn't even

00:45:05.060 hard it's just what the fuck you do you see what i'm saying absolutely dude absolutely man well guys

00:45:11.880 andy that was three yeah that was three big dog yeah we got special guests tonight yeah yeah we do

00:45:16.700 join us 7 p.m central tonight for cti live and uh we will see you there all right don't be a hoe

00:45:23.500 share the show yeah went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl

00:45:29.800 fuck a stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bank road can't fold

00:45:36.480 doesn't know headshot case close

00:45:41.880 don't know headshot case close

00:45:44.500 bottle

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 09, 2026

998. Q&AF： Waiting For Recognition, Gaining Control In Business & Stuck In Life

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