REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Approach And Engage, with Andy Frisella

00:00:00.000 I want to be a motherfucking hustler. You better ask somebody.

00:00:11.440 What's up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host. I am the

00:00:17.100 motherfucking CEO. Guys, this is your first time listening. Welcome. We're not your conventional

00:00:23.260 podcast. We don't just interview other people, talk to other people about their journeys.

00:00:27.240 Anyways, basically what we do is we show you the principles. We talk about the principles that

00:00:32.180 have to do with success, have to do with taking control of your life, have to do with becoming

00:00:38.140 the MFCEO of your own life. And it doesn't matter if you own a business or not, or if you just live

00:00:44.140 in life, if you're doing your thing, it's always more fun to go through it with some confidence,

00:00:49.000 some swagger, and some understanding of how you're going to get from where you are to where you want

00:00:53.920 to be. Most people these days are so afraid of taking those first couple steps that they end up

00:01:02.160 just accepting life for what it gives you. And what it's going to give you if you don't take control

00:01:07.940 of it is a leftover. It's going to give you all the shit that nobody else wants. And I don't know

00:01:12.820 one person in all of the people that I know that actually wants that, but I do know a lot of people

00:01:19.380 that get that. And the reason they get that is because they refuse to take control because they're

00:01:23.540 afraid. A lot of what we have to talk about here, guys, because we are an entrepreneurial based podcast

00:01:29.460 is going to be based around business. But even if you don't own a business, the principles that we

00:01:36.020 talk about here are going to be able to be applied to any area of success. So while we might talk about

00:01:41.520 selling, sometimes we might talk about other things that are practical to business. You have to

00:01:46.740 understand that every day you go out, you're selling yourself, you're selling your plan,

00:01:51.260 you're selling your ideas, whether it be to a boss, whether it be to a manager, whether it be to a

00:01:57.200 potential relationship partner. These are skills you want to know. So guys, if you don't own a business,

00:02:03.300 it's still a good idea to listen up. Today, as always, I'm joined by my co-host,

00:02:09.760 Vaughn Kohler, Vaughn the Impaler, the pastor of Disaster. What's going on?

00:02:14.620 A month and a half before the end of the year. It's been a crazy year, hasn't it?

00:02:19.140 It's gone by quick. It has gone by quick. I think this will post the day before Thanksgiving.

00:02:24.780 And I don't know, a lot to be grateful for. Yeah, no doubt, man. I think it's,

00:02:29.800 you know, people used to always say, you know, time goes faster as you get older. Man,

00:02:35.060 it's the truth because I feel like January was yesterday. Yeah.

00:02:38.580 You know, and here we are at the end of the year. It's just, it goes by faster and faster and faster,

00:02:45.220 which is all the more reason why it's important to take control. Yeah.

00:02:49.920 As we talk about so much. Before we get into the podcast, we've got some housekeeping that we need

00:02:55.840 to take care of. And I'm going to let you take care of that and let everybody know what's going

00:02:59.120 on with that. Yeah. So guys, we promised a couple of weeks ago, maybe a little bit more than a month

00:03:04.240 and a half ago when we had our hundredth episode that we're going to have a contest. So I am going

00:03:09.060 to announce the contest winners. And hopefully you'll actually be able to hear this because,

00:03:13.040 you know, the people that won, because you download it and listen to the podcast. But even if you don't,

00:03:17.180 you know, we'll contact you directly. So here they are without further ado. The first one is

00:03:21.820 Nicholas Kaufman. I assume I'm pronouncing these right of Portland, Oregon. Andy, you, yeah,

00:03:29.020 this one caught your attention personally. He's the owner operator of his own pressure washing company.

00:03:34.000 He's got a lot of stuff going on and just a real impressive guy. Joshua Rockwood of Westwind

00:03:39.900 Acres, which is in West Charlton, New York. Jesus Delgado from Naples, Florida. That's a young guy.

00:03:48.720 A couple of the other guys were a little bit older. Then we have Dr. Mike, and this is going to be

00:03:53.240 hard last name to pronounce. Wasilison of MoveU.com and the Back Pain Guys out of Carlsbad,

00:04:00.720 California. And we have one woman, Brittany, and this is another one that's hard to pronounce,

00:04:07.000 Brittany Michalchuk, who actually is doing a bunch of things. She's got a digital marketing company

00:04:13.180 and a not-for-profit called Bracelets for Humanity. So those are our winners. We'll have

00:04:20.000 contests again in the future. We'll contact you directly, but feel free to reach out to us as well.

00:04:25.740 Everybody guys, thank you so much for participating. And then I wanted to say a special word of thanks

00:04:31.740 because one of the options that we had when you signed up to enroll in the contest was the option

00:04:40.900 of sharing a testimony or a testimonial. And a ton of you guys did that, and those are now appearing on

00:04:47.600 the website. So we're real thankful that you guys did that. And yeah, we can't thank you enough.

00:04:53.520 If you haven't done an iTunes review yet for us, head over to iTunes and do that. That really helps

00:05:00.580 us out. Cool. Guys, today, the title of the podcast is Approach and Engage. And what we're

00:05:09.620 going to talk about is how to approach and engage people. When Chris and I started our business back

00:05:16.620 in 1999, we didn't have any money. There wasn't social media. There wasn't Twitter. There wasn't

00:05:22.020 Facebook. There wasn't Instagram. There wasn't really anything to allow us to connect like you

00:05:28.740 guys have at your disposal today with all these awesome, amazing tools to where you could just go

00:05:34.500 out for free and connect to thousands and tens of thousands of people and leave them impressed

00:05:40.000 with the value that we provided. No, we had to go out and actually meet them face-to-face. It was our

00:05:46.440 only option. And because of that, you know, that became the heart and soul of our success and still

00:05:55.760 is today. And whether you realize it or not, that's really the heart and soul of any business is the

00:06:01.160 ability to actually connect with your people. Okay. And your people can be your customers. It can be

00:06:07.380 your people internally. It can be everybody. But your goal should always be to have anybody that you

00:06:14.560 meet 24 hours a day, no matter where, no matter what, no matter what circumstance to walking away

00:06:19.840 a knowing what you do and be saying, man, when I need this, I'm going to call this guy. Okay. It's

00:06:27.140 important. And a lot of people underestimate the importance today of the actual in-person contact

00:06:33.800 because social media has become such a huge part of our lives. We literally have generations of people

00:06:40.680 now or a generation of people who don't know what it's like to do business without the internet.

00:06:46.840 And for the first time ever, this is not, this is a one-time thing. You know, people like me,

00:06:51.960 people older than me, um, we remember what it was like before the internet. We knew how much harder

00:06:57.860 it was. You guys who have grown up, you're fucking spoiled on how hard it is to actually go out and

00:07:02.840 connect with people. And for that reason, you overlook that aspect of business, you know,

00:07:09.000 shaking someone's hand. I call it shaking hand and kissing babies. It means getting out and,

00:07:12.860 and doing your part to connect with people in real life. Um, so many people just throw that part of

00:07:22.140 business out the door because they feel like, Oh, I can reach more people by doing sponsored Facebook

00:07:29.460 ads. That's true. Or I can meet more people by doing Instagram posts. That's also true. But I can tell

00:07:36.460 you this, businesses aren't built by who can reach the most people businesses and empires are built

00:07:43.040 by who could connect with the most people. And guess what? You can't connect with more than one

00:07:48.740 person at a time because connecting with someone takes your intention. It takes your attention and it

00:07:55.340 takes your care. And they have to feel those things to make an impact. So guys, when you guys think

00:08:02.760 about, you know, your costs per thousands or how many people you're going to reach and all this

00:08:06.560 other shit at the end of the day, that's still way less effective than meeting people in person

00:08:12.180 and shaking their hand. Nice to meet you. Here's what I do, providing them value in person and making

00:08:19.620 an impact. Okay. Uh, you know, I've met a ton of guys who have great products or services and they are

00:08:26.280 literally scared shitless to engage people in real life. And that's because people have forgotten how

00:08:34.820 to execute that because we're involved with our six inch cell phone screen or our computer 24 hours

00:08:44.400 a day now, you know, and what you can type through text, you might not necessarily be able to say in

00:08:49.440 person. I can tell you right now, it doesn't matter what you could type through text. If you can't

00:08:53.480 communicate it verbally and in person in a genuine nature, your success is always going to be limited

00:08:57.520 because real business is still done face to face. Real connections are still done face to face.

00:09:02.920 Gary Vaynerchuk, great friend of mine. I talked to him lots of times over the internet, but we didn't

00:09:07.520 become friends until I went to New York, sat at a table with them, shared a glass of whiskey, and we

00:09:12.580 had a great conversation. And that was the beginning of a real relationship. Okay. That's how empires are

00:09:17.440 built. That's how connections are made. That's how you're going to network properly. Um, in this episode,

00:09:22.380 guys, I'm going to talk about how to practically approach and effectively engage your customers

00:09:27.620 one-on-one. We've talked about sales and customer service before. Uh, I believe it was, um, episode

00:09:34.040 five, 25 and 83 were the three episodes. We're right. Yep. Okay, man. I got some good memory. Three

00:09:41.780 for three, man. Yeah. Uh, check those out. Five, 25, 83. We talked about sales, but in this episode,

00:09:47.860 I'm going to further, you know, impact you with my thoughts on approaching and engaging people

00:09:54.240 one-on-one because guys, it is the most important skill you could ever develop, whether it be in

00:09:59.880 business, personal relationships, or general fun. It's hard to have fun when you can't fucking talk

00:10:05.440 to somebody. Right. All right. So we're going to do, uh, you know, three, three principles and then

00:10:11.540 some practical steps on how to improve your techniques with that. Um, you know, the biggest problem

00:10:16.800 that I have with, with my guys, cause when I say my guys, I mean my sales guys, we have 120 something

00:10:24.380 direct in-house employees, uh, between my two major companies that I own. And then we have, uh, around

00:10:31.680 3,500 outside reps. Okay. And those people are required to engage people. And the biggest problem

00:10:38.940 that we always have with anybody who's learning sales. And if you're in sales, you're going to shake

00:10:44.960 your head. Yes. When I say this, if you're not in sales yet, you're going to fucking learn. All right.

00:10:50.800 You can't let a few bad apples ruin your harvest. And what I mean by that is this, you're going to

00:10:56.600 have days where you're on a roll. In fact, I would say if you talk to enough people, this should happen

00:11:02.240 to you every single day. All right. You're in a good mood. You're killing it. You're ready to rock

00:11:06.260 and roll. You're ready to bring positive value and make an impact with people. And you're doing your

00:11:11.320 best, you know, not just to sell somebody, but to actually solve their problem. And you're going

00:11:16.600 to run into somebody and they're going to be a complete jerk. All right. They're going to make

00:11:20.460 you feel like shit. They're going to make you feel embarrassed. They're going to make you feel

00:11:25.300 stupid. And it's going to throw you out of your zone of feeling great about trying to affect people.

00:11:32.940 Guys, you have to learn in sales to not let those people throw you off track. You know,

00:11:39.440 you have to think like a farmer. And that's why I like this analogy. You know, a farmer is not going

00:11:44.080 to go out and say, Oh man, you know, I got this one bushel here and I found a few rotten apples in

00:11:49.520 it. So I'm going to, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to not harvest this gigantic crop of

00:11:53.120 apples because I'm too afraid that I'm going to have more bad apples. Right. You know what I'm saying?

00:11:56.720 Right. Right. Like that's what people do. And they don't think about it logically because it

00:12:00.740 affects them so hard emotionally. Because here's the thing, guys, it doesn't feel good when people do

00:12:04.960 that. It doesn't feel good. But every single time somebody does that, you have to understand

00:12:09.800 first off that it's probably not you that's making them react that way. And second off,

00:12:15.580 you're going to get better because you're going to learn how to react to those things in a positive

00:12:19.120 manner. Okay. Two things I want you to understand about people who act that way. One, okay. You have

00:12:26.680 acted that way to somebody else before. Have you not? Absolutely. Every single person has listening.

00:12:31.320 They've gotten frustrated. They've been in a bad mood. Their girlfriend dumped them. Their dog

00:12:35.600 died. Something that happened to them previously where somebody came up and they just bit their head

00:12:39.900 off for no reason. Right. The best thing you can do in that situation is to take a step back and

00:12:46.420 apologize to the person and say, Hey, you know what? Look, man, I obviously hit you the wrong way.

00:12:53.400 Maybe it's not a good time. I don't know. I didn't mean to, you know, get you all upset.

00:12:57.840 Uh, you know, let me know if there's anything I can do. And you step back, you know what I mean?

00:13:02.740 Cause people are going to automatically, they're going to feel, it's going to make them feel like,

00:13:06.780 you know, take, it's going to make them take a step back and say, well, shit, maybe I shouldn't

00:13:10.760 have been such a dick. And a lot of times those people will apologize right on the spot.

00:13:14.960 I've actually had people come back two or three or four days later in a retail setting and apologize.

00:13:19.480 Cause I say, Hey, look, bro, I was just trying to help. No big deal. Just, you know,

00:13:23.980 you do your thing. I'm over here if you need me. And you know what? They are having a bad day.

00:13:29.520 They come back and say, Hey man, I'm really sorry for what I did. I was having this bad day.

00:13:33.460 Dude, everybody has bad days. You know what I mean? So, um, don't blame you or your technique

00:13:39.080 every single time. Sometimes it is your technique. Sometimes you do do things wrong that are going to,

00:13:43.000 you know, make people upset, but you know, continuing to, uh, you know, stopping yourself

00:13:50.120 from continuing to move forward from a situation like that, I think is the number one reason most

00:13:55.640 people fail when it comes to learning how to do anything in business because they, they do good,

00:14:00.680 they do good, they do good. And they run into this one guy who just totally just trashes them and

00:14:06.200 trashes their confidence, trashes their, their momentum and just ruins them. And then they, what

00:14:11.600 they do is they go on the rest of the day, not talking to people with enthusiasm, not talking to

00:14:16.120 people with a pep in their step, you know, not being, uh, you know, happy to talk to people

00:14:21.000 and then they don't do good the rest of the day. And then they go home and they start questioning

00:14:25.740 themselves. Well, God, I wasn't, I guess I wasn't meant for this or, you know, I didn't do very good.

00:14:29.800 Well, no, you were doing fine until you let this person affect you and throw you off track.

00:14:33.780 Right. So you mentioned the importance of stepping back when that happens and not taking it personally

00:14:38.980 and, you know, apologizing. But in your experience, what do the, what do the truly successful

00:14:45.180 people do? Like what, what are the literal thoughts that go through their mind to help them

00:14:50.780 press on through that, through that rejection? Well, look, man, I just like exactly what I said.

00:14:56.600 You know, if I, if I know I'm doing the right thing and if I know I have their best interest in

00:15:00.600 mind and you have to understand most people want their problems solved. Most people want that help.

00:15:07.300 So first of all, I remind myself of that. Like, Hey, look, nine out of 10 people I talked to,

00:15:12.700 they want to hear the guidance. They want to hear the help at whatever it is I'm offering because

00:15:17.660 that's what they came in to my store for what they came to my site for. So I'm, I'm offering

00:15:24.260 them an extended service over and above what they would typically be used to. And since some people

00:15:30.200 are antisocial now, they have a hard time like breaking out of that mold and becoming social. So

00:15:36.380 it's your job to be a facilitator to make them comfortable, you know, and maybe you didn't do that.

00:15:41.040 Maybe you just jumped right in or maybe you were inexperienced. Most of the people that this

00:15:44.660 happens to are inexperienced in sales and they don't know how to properly break the, the ice,

00:15:51.820 so to speak, to make people comfortable. You see what I mean? Absolutely. And they jump like five

00:15:56.060 steps ahead of where they should be. Um, you know, they try to close them immediately or they try to

00:16:01.360 like, you know, talk to them about shit that they shouldn't be talking to them at that point.

00:16:06.000 You've got to understand, dude, you've got to build, you know, a relationship. You've got to

00:16:10.800 educate this person and you've got to build trust by telling them the right things. And, and through

00:16:15.700 that process, they're going to become hopefully your customer and a lot more receptive to what

00:16:20.460 you have to say. Right. You can't expect them just to be, Oh yeah. You know, let me buy 12 of those.

00:16:26.480 You know, that's what people think, man. And that's not what sales is about. Sales is about

00:16:30.080 connecting sales is about reading people. You know, I tell a good story, um, about Ryan Riggle

00:16:36.340 who works for us now and handles our Legionnaire program. You know, he was a rep for local cable

00:16:41.000 TV here when I met him and he called on me for two or three years straight without me ever buying

00:16:45.740 anything. And it went from him calling on me and then him being in my store all the time and me being

00:16:53.660 annoyed to then. And then, you know, like wanting to kick him out of the store. Right. Because he was

00:16:58.680 there all the time and then he just kept coming back. And eventually we just started talking about

00:17:02.580 other things like sports or, you know, other things. And then we became friends. And then once

00:17:08.080 we became friends, you know, I brought it up to him like, Hey man, you know, like, do you really

00:17:12.620 think this thing could help me? And that's an extreme case because it took so long. Right. But

00:17:16.620 the point is, is that dude, you've got to build that relationship first. You can't just jump right

00:17:20.540 in. A lot of times because you jump in too hard, that's why people react the way that they do.

00:17:24.560 We're going to talk about that here in a minute too. You touched on this briefly, but I think it bears repeating too.

00:17:28.560 Is that most of the people that the, our listeners are going to interact with are going to interact

00:17:33.860 with them in a particular context, but you have to remind yourself that we have no idea

00:17:38.060 what's going on in somebody. No, no, no. That's what I'm going to say. The second part of that,

00:17:40.720 the second part, first part is remember that they want to have salute. They want the solution

00:17:44.980 you're offering and you got your job is to teach them about it too. They, they could be having

00:17:49.920 a terrible day. Right. So even though they're there for the solution or whatever, they don't want

00:17:54.540 to hear small talk or they like, I'm big on no small talk. Like I fucking hate it. Like if you

00:17:59.080 small talk me, I'm going to zone out. It's just the way I am. Like my eyes will glass over. I will

00:18:05.040 not hear a word that you say. And I'll be thinking about whatever it is that's coming up next. I'm

00:18:09.980 serious. No, I know you're serious because like I cannot do it. Like if you want to talk to me

00:18:14.440 about real shit, I'd be happy to talk to you about it because it gets me engaged. Right.

00:18:19.100 Small talk. I'm not interested in. So I, I zone out. Right. You know, and that becomes,

00:18:23.660 that's a part of me being able to, you know, over years and years and years, uh, filter the

00:18:29.260 things that are important versus the things I know aren't important, you know? So, um,

00:18:34.140 if you want to small talk me personally, it's, it's a bad idea. And I, I think it shows a lack

00:18:39.860 of communication skills. Yeah. Get to the point. Right. Yeah. Or just like be, be interesting.

00:18:45.060 All right. Yeah, exactly. Don't fucking talk about the weather. I see it. I feel it. Right.

00:18:48.740 Yeah. Right. That's, I mean, that's pretty much it, man. Um, so the basic principle is

00:18:54.760 most people are nice. They are. Yeah. It's just, you know, they're going to have bad days. You have

00:19:00.020 bad days. I have bad days. You know, everybody has bad days. And sometimes when those people

00:19:04.260 are having bad days, you're going to be the guy that comes up and fucking be the straw that

00:19:08.920 breaks his back to where he snaps on you a little bit. It happens. It happens to everybody. I don't

00:19:13.520 care how skilled you are as a salesperson, but the best, the best quote unquote salespeople

00:19:17.980 people, first of all, they don't even think about it as a sales. They think about it as

00:19:21.300 a solutions provider, quote unquote, helping people. Second of all, they understand and

00:19:25.960 give people a break whenever they're having a bad day, learn how to, you know, back off,

00:19:29.960 take a step back and then come back at them, you know, cause usually those people aren't

00:19:34.740 having a bad day tomorrow or the next day and they're going to be more pleasant. Some people

00:19:38.940 are just assholes. Right. Which is another sales skill, sensory acuity. Yeah. We're going to

00:19:44.100 get to that. Oh, sorry. I don't have one. So, you know, that's, that's a whole, a whole

00:19:49.220 nother conversation, but yeah, man, you've got to be aware of where that person's coming

00:19:52.600 from. Um, so, you know, principle number one is, you know, don't let one person or

00:19:59.480 one bad apple ruin your day, ruin the bunch, you know, learn to move on, understand that

00:20:05.180 what you're doing is a good thing and, and just let it, let it wash off you, man, like a

00:20:09.320 shower, you know, and, um, the most successful people on earth are able to do that. You know,

00:20:15.800 it's sad to say, but I think most people fail in life because of this principle. I think most

00:20:21.940 people fail in life because of this one principle. They can't face the one person who is going to

00:20:28.080 leave a terrible remark on their Facebook posts. So then they post irrelevant shit, like kittens

00:20:33.360 fucking playing the piano instead of what they really think in their heart, which could affect

00:20:37.280 people. I'm imagining that. But you get what I'm saying? No, no, I get it. So I'm afraid to say

00:20:41.480 anything because of that one guy, when that one guy might not even exist. And really what you're

00:20:46.100 making up is the worst case scenario in your head and it's keeping you from doing anything.

00:20:50.300 Right. You know, and most people, most people fail in life because of this one concept.

00:20:55.240 Yeah. I think you're absolutely right. And I think, I think there are times where people post

00:20:59.360 something and they get a bunch of blowback and they think I must've posted something crappy.

00:21:03.620 When in reality, they actually probably posted something that put their finger on

00:21:07.260 something really important. Right. And people didn't like it.

00:21:08.920 And you got an emotional response. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That's right. So principle number

00:21:13.620 two, um, enthusiasm is contagious, but you have to pass it on. Okay. And what I mean by this

00:21:25.480 is that it's a conscious behavior. You, you know, a lot of people are good at connecting with people

00:21:31.940 and engaging people because they're enthusiastic, but they're not aware of why they're so good at

00:21:37.760 connecting people. You know, they just, it's like the natural, I'm a natural at sales phenomenon,

00:21:42.220 or I'm a natural at, at people person phenomenon. Really, you're just naturally enthusiastic and

00:21:48.120 people are picking up on it. Okay. So be aware if you're a naturally enthusiastic person, why people

00:21:54.640 are connecting with you, because that will allow you to expand your skills onto other areas.

00:21:59.820 Also, if you're not a naturally enthusiastic person, recognize that you need to learn how to be

00:22:07.220 enthusiastic because here's the thing, guys, it is impossible to sell a product. It is impossible

00:22:14.640 to recommend a product is impossible to do anything that you don't believe in that people don't pick up

00:22:21.580 on your enthusiasm. It's a requirement to be good in business. Okay. So if you don't believe in what

00:22:27.720 you're doing, you're not going to be enthusiastic about it. And if you fake it, people are going to

00:22:31.220 say you're full of shit. You know, it's just like the used car salesman stuff that we talk about all

00:22:35.320 the time. You know, nobody believes anything a used car salesman says, because usually they're all

00:22:39.920 about the money. But what if you have this great product that's built to help people and built to

00:22:44.520 solve this great solution and it's affected your lives and it's done a great job helping you improve,

00:22:50.320 you're going to be enthusiastic about that product. And that's, what's going to ultimately make you be

00:22:54.660 able to connect with people. But even with the most amount of enthusiasm that you can have,

00:23:01.940 things are going to become routine. Things are great. You're going to be used to things. You're

00:23:06.000 going to be used to going through the motions. And this is where people fall off is they think

00:23:11.100 things like this. Well, I'm naturally a great salesman because I'm so enthusiastic, but then you

00:23:15.820 do the same thing for 10 years straight and you're still telling yourself that, and you're going through

00:23:19.820 every single day with no enthusiasm, you know, no real enthusiasm like you really possess,

00:23:25.600 you know, your numbers are going to fall off, your sales, your performance, everything's going

00:23:28.840 to fall off because you're telling yourself, I'm this great communicator, I'm this great connector,

00:23:33.920 but you're not doing it anymore because it's become routine, right? Everybody gets used to the

00:23:39.100 same thing over and over again. So that's why it's important to be aware of the enthusiasm and its

00:23:43.680 impact on people.

00:23:44.600 So if I understand you correctly, I almost hear you saying that your enthusiasm can almost get

00:23:50.080 automated.

00:23:51.140 Absolutely. And it doesn't work anymore.

00:23:53.000 Yeah. So, so, I mean, on a practical level, what does a person need to do to refresh themselves?

00:24:00.000 Well, you've got to be aware, first of all, you know, aware, like I said, if you're a naturally

00:24:04.920 enthusiastic person, realize that your natural enthusiasm is what helps you connect with these

00:24:10.140 people. Okay. If you're not a naturally enthusiastic person, you have to learn

00:24:14.240 to be enthusiastic. I would almost take a person who's not naturally enthusiastic over a person

00:24:20.340 who is, because that person will learn to see the value and the result very quickly versus

00:24:26.480 somebody else who's got it naturally will say, well, yeah, this is obvious. And then they won't

00:24:32.080 be aware of it anymore. And it fades out. Do you get what I'm saying?

00:24:35.200 Yeah. Yeah. Makes total sense.

00:24:36.100 So, um, you know, I think a couple of good points is that, you know, there's a good book

00:24:42.360 on this too. It's, uh, it's called heard how to, how to change mass behavior by harnessing

00:24:47.680 our true nature. And basically what the book's about is, you know, human beings are wired to

00:24:53.660 be connected. You know, we're so connected that if one person feels an emotion, there's a good

00:24:58.420 chance that emotion is going to spread out to the people they're communicating with. And that's

00:25:02.620 where impacts come from. That's why certain people give you certain feelings. And that's

00:25:07.020 why certain people give you certain other feelings and why you try to avoid certain people and why

00:25:10.920 you try to spend more time around certain people. You know, that's why we have the one guy on the

00:25:15.520 football team who's getting down and freaking out because we're down by seven points. And then all

00:25:19.960 of a sudden the whole team feels that way. And then you lose the momentum and you're not able to

00:25:23.580 fight back. It's also the same reason why you have the one guy on the football team who's got a ton

00:25:29.120 of confidence and a ton of swagger and a ton of go getterness. If that's even a word, which it isn't,

00:25:34.640 but I make it up right now, but they've got it. And the rest of the team gets picked up and follows

00:25:40.300 it. Okay. The emotions that, and the enthusiasm that we put out is super powerful and it's in our

00:25:46.180 nature to be attracted to people who make us feel good versus people who make us feel bad. And what

00:25:52.600 feels better than being excited and enthusiastic about something, nothing. You know what I mean? It's one of

00:25:58.220 the most powerful feelings that you can have. And so if you could consciously understand how to be

00:26:04.660 aware, be present in the situation and to work for enthusiasm and to let it work for you, dude,

00:26:11.600 you can affect people on a mass scale. So playing devil's advocate, I'll be Mr. Aster Cole for a

00:26:17.080 second. I can hear somebody listening to this and saying, well, Andy, you're, you're actually talking

00:26:20.840 about charisma and charisma is something you either have or you don't. What would you say to that?

00:26:25.620 I disagree 1000%. I don't think I don't, first of all, I'm not really talking about charisma.

00:26:31.660 Charisma is about going along with people's it's like, it's like emotional judo. It's like using

00:26:39.220 people's feelings to your advantage and like twisting and turning and just kind of going with

00:26:44.780 the flow and being able to read what they want to hear and tell them what they want to hear.

00:26:48.360 That's different than enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is where you can recognize that someone might be not

00:26:54.480 be doing the same thing and you can enthusiastically help them get excited about doing the right thing

00:26:59.280 so they get the result they're after. It's a big difference, you know? Um, and, and, and regards

00:27:05.220 to charisma, I don't think that's something that you either have or you don't have either. I think

00:27:08.700 that's something you can develop with practice. I mean, it just is a lot of dudes I know, uh, who can

00:27:14.960 never talk to girls are some of the best guys that can talk to girls, you know, 10 years later

00:27:20.200 because they had to practice it. They worked on it. Yes. Yeah. So charisma is absolutely a talent

00:27:26.440 you can cultivate. I don't think it's a God given skill. Um, some people do have it, you know,

00:27:32.040 that's a big thing too. Like a lot of people think just because someone has it naturally that it's

00:27:36.640 God given and you can't have it. And that's not true. Right. You know, with practice and with work

00:27:42.060 and with education on your own, you know, systems and, and, and habits and actions, I think you can

00:27:48.560 almost cultivate anything when it comes to, you know, considering you have a, a, a average IQ,

00:27:55.220 right? Right. You know, this would be an interesting time to reemphasize to people something that's not

00:28:00.420 true that I think a lot of people who follow you think is true is that I think a lot of people think

00:28:05.660 that you're an extrovert. Well, tell them what you think. Well, I was just at a party. No, I would

00:28:13.660 say that there's a perfect example of someone, you are someone who recognize that to succeed in life,

00:28:19.860 you were going to have to develop certain skills. No doubt. But I don't think after being around you

00:28:24.680 for two or three years that you are naturally someone who gets energized by being around a lot

00:28:29.840 of people. And that's the definition of it. We went, we were at a party two nights ago. Right.

00:28:34.720 Where was I? Uh, in the corner. Yeah. Or outside. Or, or, or, or I would say, I, I would say you

00:28:41.760 were in the corner, but you were, like you were saying, you were engaging someone in very serious

00:28:45.080 conversation as opposed to large, hard banter. There's a lot of small talk going on inside.

00:28:48.760 Yeah. There was a lot of small talk. There was a lot of small talk. It makes me want to claw my

00:28:52.780 fucking eyes out. Yeah. No. So we were at my wife's book launch party the other night. There's, I don't

00:28:58.660 know, 150, 200 people there. You know, um, dude, I get anxiety when people small talk me, dude,

00:29:05.260 cause I can't stand it. And I want to just like, excuse myself. So I go to lengths to prevent that

00:29:10.740 from happening. So I go stand where people aren't. And that's what I do. Right. And you're right. I'm

00:29:16.320 not a naturally extra, extra, extra, uh, extrovert. I'm not, I'm not naturally that way. I'm, I'm, I'm

00:29:24.140 an introvert. I live a lot of my own brain. Um, you know, I'm very analytical and unless it's

00:29:32.680 something that engages me mentally, I'm not interested. It's just the way it is. That doesn't

00:29:36.880 mean I can't have a great time. Um, it's all contextual. You know what I'm saying? If I'm having

00:29:40.700 a great time, my buddy's drinking some beers, I'm not, you know, I'm an extrovert. Right. But I mean,

00:29:45.820 as far as just like, you know, naturally, no, I've had to develop those skills and people

00:29:52.000 don't believe that cause they, they hear the podcast and they, you know, I get a lot of

00:29:55.720 like compliments on my delivery and things like that, you know, and those are all skills

00:30:01.360 that I built. It wasn't something I was born with. We should be like profoundly encouraging

00:30:06.540 to people who are listening to this, who are like, man, I'm just naturally shy or I'm more

00:30:10.320 of an introvert. You have built an amazing multimillion dollar business, not necessarily

00:30:15.800 wanting to get out naturally and engage people, but that's actually what you're known for is

00:30:20.480 building that culture. Yeah. And a lot of times, you know, when I don't want to engage somebody,

00:30:24.700 it turns out being a really rewarding experience. I remember that too. You know what I mean?

00:30:28.700 Yeah. Um, so you, you know, if you're somebody who doesn't come natural to, I think remembering

00:30:33.440 that like, it's at the end, you're all, it's always going to be worth your time and try to

00:30:36.580 keep that in mind. Like there's a lot of events I go to that I don't really want to go

00:30:39.660 to, you know, cause there's going to be a lot of people there. It's, I know what, I know

00:30:43.400 the questions they're going to ask. I know the shit they're going to say. And I'm like,

00:30:46.800 fuck, this is just a waste of my time, but I'll end up going and up having a few great

00:30:51.840 conversations. And then I walk away saying, man, that was awesome. That was a lot better

00:30:55.220 than I thought. Yeah. You know? So I, I always try to remember that. Um, but regardless of,

00:31:03.240 of all of that, you're right at the bottom line. I do understand that being able to engage people

00:31:10.620 and being able to spread enthusiasm to those people in the things that I do for a living

00:31:15.140 is extremely important to what I do. So, you know, when we're talking about fitness or we're

00:31:19.160 talking about entrepreneurship or we're talking about, um, motivation, you know what? I'm an

00:31:23.940 enthusiastic motherfucker and that's just the bottom line. You know, uh, if we're talking

00:31:29.040 about pretty much anything outside of that, I am really not interested and it is what it

00:31:35.840 is. Right. You know, there's certain people out there right now that, you know, that I know

00:31:40.200 are introverts as well that claim to, I love people. I love people. I don't fucking love

00:31:45.340 people. I love certain people. Right. You know what I'm saying? Like if you're a dumbass,

00:31:49.980 I'm not going to sit there and pretend like you're fucking awesome. It's just, you're going

00:31:53.160 to be able to tell on my face if that I think you're a dumbass. Right. Maybe I'm not that

00:31:56.920 disciplined. Maybe I just care less, but at least I'm telling you the truth. Yeah. You know

00:32:01.300 what I mean? Um, and this actually goes right along with the third principle, which is it's

00:32:08.140 not about you. Okay. I go to these events because I know it's not about me because it's about

00:32:14.920 them. All right. I say this over and over and over and over again, but so many people

00:32:22.020 still can't get it. You know, especially when it comes to sales, especially when it comes

00:32:27.000 connecting and engaging, this is not about you. It's not about how much money you can

00:32:32.580 make. It's not about what you could bring in. It's not about what you can take. It's about

00:32:36.640 what you can give. And if you understand that it's about what you can give, what you can

00:32:40.940 solve, what you can help with, then the money is going to come automatically. But people

00:32:46.580 hear that and they think it's some sort of hocus pocus new age way of looking at sales.

00:32:51.500 No, sales has always been that way. It's just a lot of people that teach about sales are really

00:32:56.120 teaching about how to scam people out of their fucking money as opposed to how to provide

00:33:00.000 real value. And there's a big difference. You see what I'm saying?

00:33:03.380 Absolutely. And I think that's a huge component to being fearless and having just rock steady

00:33:09.640 confidence, which is going back to our earlier point. If somebody is rejecting you and your

00:33:14.880 attitude is, well, honestly, I was just trying to add value to their lives. You're not going to

00:33:19.320 take it personally.

00:33:20.000 No, exactly.

00:33:20.540 But if it was all about you and it is all about your ego and stroking your ego, then yeah,

00:33:25.440 you're going to walk away like a little wilted flower.

00:33:27.900 Right. And so that's the other thing is if you truly understand and believe and accept

00:33:34.420 that you have a real solution, why are you going to be upset if someone, if someone is

00:33:39.220 bad to you? Because really you're going to look at it as their loss and believe that

00:33:43.100 not yours. Right. So it's important, you know, to go back to what we said about believing

00:33:48.360 in what you do as a solution. You know, so many people go out and they try to like become

00:33:53.600 the salespeople because if you go out and read most of the sales books with the exception

00:33:58.080 of a few, it's all about the same old thing, you know, prospecting, getting leads, putting

00:34:04.640 people in your sales funnel, executing, asking for the sale. It's a very impersonal way to

00:34:10.440 sell. The way that we're talking about what we're doing, which by connecting and engaging

00:34:16.340 people is a way to retain your customer base for life. Okay. Anybody could sell somebody

00:34:22.900 something once, but the goal is to retain them and to build a family around your product

00:34:28.700 base so that you have built in business for the rest of your life. Do you really want

00:34:32.140 to go out and be fucking knocking on doors when you're 65 years old, trying to retire?

00:34:37.600 No, you want to be so good at what you do and bring so much value to the world that everybody

00:34:43.020 else is telling everybody else about you so that you can, you know, focus on other things

00:34:49.620 and you're not having to go out and do that same old hustle. You know, the first 1000 people

00:34:54.640 that you get, you should have to go out and get a second thousand. You should have to, those

00:34:59.260 first 1000 should be out there telling everybody how awesome you are and growing your business

00:35:03.580 for you. And if you think of it like that, you know, if you think about, you know, how I'm

00:35:08.420 going to get these people to be advocates of mine by solving a problem for them. Now it's real easy

00:35:14.600 to be focused on them. Now it's not, it's not a hassle to put up with certain conversations that

00:35:20.560 you might not be into because you know what? It's not about you. It's about them. And when you

00:35:26.500 could focus on that, you're understanding and you understand that the, the long-term gain of that

00:35:32.180 is to control the conversations that happen between them and their friends and then their friends

00:35:36.340 and their friends and that you're building a network slash army of people that are going

00:35:40.340 to be customers for you. Now, all of a sudden you're not even selling anymore. Now you're

00:35:44.020 just creating relationships, which takes all the pressure off people who have the stigma

00:35:48.380 of selling, which selling should have a stigma to it because most people do it fucking wrong.

00:35:54.060 You see what I'm saying?

00:35:54.760 Right, right. So I know you're going to jump into some basic tips, but, uh, I want to make

00:35:59.300 an observation. You started out by talking about how people put all of their eggs in the social

00:36:04.460 media basket and they hope to have this, you know, large following worldwide. But you were

00:36:09.600 saying that, that the heartbeat and the, and the real driving force.

00:36:12.660 You can still engage over social media.

00:36:14.200 Right, right. Exactly. But, but, but you were also saying that the, the, the real heart and

00:36:18.780 soul of the business is real in-person, in-person interactions. And it, it made me think of that,

00:36:24.140 that, uh, that very common phrase, all politics is local. Meaning if you don't win locally,

00:36:29.500 you're not going to win nationally. And it, would you agree that a mistake that a lot of people make

00:36:34.820 in building their brand is they, they want to convince everybody all over the world, but the

00:36:39.860 people right in their own neighborhood don't even know they exist.

00:36:43.340 Dude, look, businesses slash empire slash successes are built one person at a time.

00:36:47.880 That's never going to change whether it's through social media, whether it's through email,

00:36:52.880 whether it's through phone, whether it's through in-person, no matter what new, crazy,

00:36:57.540 awesome, uh, invention comes out next that allows us to connect. It's still going to be one person

00:37:03.560 at a time. So what's more natural to start with people that are a million miles away or start with

00:37:08.680 people that are in your own neighborhood. You see what I mean? So yeah, I agree with that. You know,

00:37:13.480 you've got to win the battle on the home front first before you ever expand, because here's the

00:37:17.160 thing, you know, people are going to say, Oh, well, you could go out and reach all these people in

00:37:21.080 California, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, that might be true, but what's better than having a

00:37:27.440 secure, established, strong network of testimonials, people that know you personally,

00:37:33.280 that these other people can look to as a referral to how fucking awesome you are when they're

00:37:38.400 questioning whether or not they're going to do business with you. Right. You see what I mean?

00:37:41.900 Absolutely. Makes total sense. So, you know, I agree with you a hundred percent, but most people

00:37:47.180 just can't grasp the concept that it's one person at a time because really that one person is probably

00:37:54.120 got at least a dozen to two dozen other connections that are going to hear about you no matter what job

00:38:00.820 you do. If you do bad, they're going to hear about you. If you do great, they're going to hear about

00:38:04.020 you. So it's important to take every single person as they're your only person. Right. You see what I

00:38:12.380 mean? Absolutely. You know what I think of when you said that is I think of, I mean, obviously we've had

00:38:16.560 an election recently, but I think of the fact that what was it in 2000 when Al Gore lost to George W.

00:38:22.860 Bush, they said that what was ironic is in this race to get, you know, electoral college votes,

00:38:28.540 every vote counts. And Al Gore lost his own state, which means the principal, he neglected his local

00:38:36.660 constituency. Right. And if he won that state, he would have won. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to go over

00:38:43.840 a couple of tips, three actually, of how to actually improve and sharpen your skill set on

00:38:51.400 engaging with people. Okay. And just to clarify, you have been talking about sales, but this is,

00:38:57.360 this is every aspect of interaction. You can't sell. You're pretty much worthless. Yeah. I mean,

00:39:01.960 that's, that's in life. You have to be able to sell whether you're selling yourself to your boss,

00:39:08.000 to getting a raise, or whether you're selling yourself to a potential mate to, you know, date

00:39:13.660 them, or, you know, it doesn't matter. If you can't sell, you're going to live a mediocre life

00:39:17.640 at best. So learning how to sell, AKA provide value in the right ways is extremely important. And

00:39:23.740 that's what we're talking about. Right. Um, so tip number one, guys, is something that Tyler

00:39:31.060 mentioned a few minutes ago, you know, adjust your approach to the individual. Not everybody

00:39:36.900 that you come in contact with or comes in your store comes to your website is the same. They're

00:39:42.260 all different. They all have different personalities. They have different moods. They have different

00:39:45.620 attitudes. They have different emotions. And they're all at different places at the time that

00:39:51.020 you interact with them. They could be having a bad day. They could be having a great day. They

00:39:54.000 it doesn't, you have no fucking clue where they're at. So you have to develop what's called

00:39:58.680 in which Tyler mentioned sensory acuity. Okay. This is something that I try to teach my guys

00:40:05.080 as much as possible. It's also one of the hardest things for them to understand, but it's also

00:40:11.120 one of the easiest things to understand. If you have common sense, all right, you've got

00:40:15.800 to learn how to read people. All right. If I have this huge, ripped, gigantic, muscular dude

00:40:20.660 that walks into one of our sports nutrition stores, clearly he knows a little bit about exercise.

00:40:25.820 I'm not going to go over to him and start talking to him about the most beginner shit possible.

00:40:30.660 Cause he's going to get offended. He's like, look, dude, I did all this work and now you're

00:40:33.860 talking to me like, I don't know shit. You know, people tend to be robotic. So they treat

00:40:38.940 everybody the same. And that's where you're going to make a huge mistake when it comes to being

00:40:43.020 able to interact and connect with people. And that's what you've said has been the problem

00:40:47.020 with sales scripts. A hundred percent. Yeah. You get, that's because people never take the

00:40:51.920 time to actually learn how to read people. You know, you're, you're not going to go up

00:40:56.040 to somebody who's mourning at a funeral and you know, just lost her, their, uh, husband

00:41:01.460 and go up to, uh, her and pitch her a dating site. You're just not going to fucking do it.

00:41:07.160 It sounds ridiculous, right? Yeah. But it's absurd, but that's what people do because whenever

00:41:11.380 they follow a script, they don't, they don't take the human element into play. They just follow

00:41:17.820 the script. They become robotic. And this is what keeps people from progressing. I have guys in my

00:41:22.500 own company that do this. I train them one way and that's the way they do it. And they do it over

00:41:27.380 and over and over. It doesn't matter. They don't read the people. And you know what? People get pissed

00:41:30.780 off. And then the manager's got to step in or I've got to step in or somebody's got to step in and try

00:41:34.940 to correct it because dude, it's rude as fuck, you know? And people just can't understand that there's

00:41:42.360 going to be the plan is like a hard suggestion. It's not going to always go that way. And you've

00:41:48.460 got to know when to like, not, you know, push somebody in a way that's going to offend them

00:41:54.740 or make them mad or connect with somebody in a way that is, is going to be in tune with the mood or

00:42:01.160 the place or the emotional state that they're in. You've got to be able to develop that. And it's not

00:42:06.040 something that most people I've learned through experience have the ability to do naturally. It's a

00:42:11.220 skill. How does it mean? What does it mean? Okay. Well, it means you're going to have to go

00:42:17.780 fuck it up a number of times before you get it right. Right. Right. Nobody's really good at this

00:42:23.160 upfront, but you have to learn how to read the body signals. You have to learn how to try to figure out

00:42:28.840 where this person is and what approach and what communication is going to best meet their needs

00:42:34.220 or engage them in a conversation with you. Did they drive a nice car? Okay. Talk to them about their car

00:42:39.720 or their kids in their soccer uniform. Talk to them about soccer or, uh, you know, is there something

00:42:45.720 interesting about this person? They have a cool coat on, ask them about their coat, start to get

00:42:50.000 the feel for them before you ever start to like try to quote unquote sell them. Right. You know what

00:42:55.760 I mean? Right. It's not about, uh, selling. It's about connecting. All right. And you can't connect

00:43:01.260 with people if it's all business all the time. You get what I'm saying? Absolutely. So you mentioned

00:43:05.620 the big rip guy. I mean, let's, let me throw out a scenario. Suppose I come in, but instead of being

00:43:10.540 a very handsome dude, I'm an overweight and I'm not being mean. Like I'm an overweight, uh, young girl.

00:43:17.540 Yeah. Okay. And I'm like, clearly I don't know anything about exercise. Which is a lot of our

00:43:24.120 customer base. What would you count? What would you coach your guys to do? What were the things you

00:43:28.600 would say look for these kinds of things? Well, observations. First of all, you got to realize that it

00:43:33.760 took a tremendous amount of courage for somebody like that to even come in a store like ours

00:43:37.180 because they're in a place where they're desperate that they want to have help because the stigma

00:43:41.640 of a nutrition store is like, it's all fucking dudes eating raw meat and fucking slamming raw

00:43:47.340 eggs on their fucking foreheads and shit. Like, I don't know what people think to me. It's just

00:43:51.020 the way of life. Like everybody I know is like that, you know, but I, you know, people are

00:43:57.880 intimidated by that. And so, you know, you have to go up and you have to be extra supportive

00:44:01.900 and extra welcoming to somebody like that so that they understand that, no, we are here

00:44:07.000 for you. This is why we exist. We're here to help you get where you want to be. It's clear

00:44:11.400 that you want to be somewhere else than where you really are because you wouldn't be here

00:44:15.060 if that wasn't the case. So reinforcing that it's great and it's okay. And we're happy to

00:44:19.420 see that person is extremely important. You know, there's people, sometimes those people

00:44:24.760 are the most important to greet right away because we, we might have 10 people in the

00:44:29.620 store and you know, people have to wait. And that person could walk in, walk around for

00:44:35.080 a few minutes and never get greeted and walk out and leave and never come back. And they

00:44:38.600 don't say, Oh, the store was busy. They say, Oh man, those guys were dicks.

00:44:42.720 Right. They rejected me.

00:44:43.880 Yes. Cause that's what they interpret that as. So like, dude, just doing something as a

00:44:47.600 simple greeting, Hey, how are you? It's so good to see you. Thanks for coming in. Just

00:44:51.260 give me a few minutes and I'll be right with you. That can be the difference between

00:44:54.840 somebody, not only staying in your store, but also finding the information they need

00:45:00.600 to get the results thereafter, succeeding in those results and then telling a million

00:45:05.760 fucking people about how you help them succeed. Absolutely. Complete life changing shit could

00:45:12.300 be tied to a simple greeting. And that's what you have to understand. You know, it doesn't

00:45:18.080 and we're talking about my business, but what your business is the same, whatever it is, you

00:45:22.480 know, you have to recognize and be able to approach people in the appropriate way. Sometimes

00:45:27.820 you're going to make mistakes. And like I said, people forgive when you apologize. You

00:45:33.020 know, if you make a mistake, if you overstep a bound, if you read somebody the wrong way,

00:45:36.960 apologize. Absolutely. Hey, look, man, I didn't mean to upset you or I I'm sorry. I didn't

00:45:42.480 know. You know, I, I must've said something to say that's not what my intention was. You

00:45:47.220 know, I'll be right over here. If you need me, let me know if you have any questions and

00:45:51.200 back up. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. It's, it's very, very important. So basic

00:45:55.800 humility, really? Yes. But you know, when we get aggressive and we get into like, and

00:46:01.880 I'm not saying aggressive to make money, but let's just say overly enthusiastic, right?

00:46:05.740 Like of course, if you have somebody who's aggressive that wants to make money, they're

00:46:09.180 going to be aggressive and they're going to be approaching every single person. But let's

00:46:12.480 just say somebody's enthusiastic, so enthusiastic about the products that they sell, that they

00:46:17.140 approach somebody in what's perceived to be an overly aggressive manner, they might get

00:46:21.480 the same result back. You see what I mean? Yeah. And so you have to remember like, dude,

00:46:27.760 play it cool at first, right? Connect with the people, take time to talk, take time to, you

00:46:32.860 know, as much, as much as I don't like small talk, most people use it as a way to, you know,

00:46:39.540 feel comfortable in the situation. I personally don't because I'm not one of those people that

00:46:44.200 has a problem communicating. But in this environment that we're talking about, it's very,

00:46:49.260 very important to connect with people on some sort of level before you just go right into whatever

00:46:53.020 the problem is. Yeah. I like what you said about the fact that it's just a necessity that people

00:46:57.500 are going to have to learn how to do this by screwing up. I do think that there are people

00:47:01.100 who have a certain, you know, what they call the intangibles, things that you can't really coach

00:47:05.220 that are good at it. But I mean, let's suppose you had somebody who said to you, okay, Andy,

00:47:10.280 I get the fact that this is going to be trial and error and I'm going to get better and better.

00:47:13.480 But what are some like practical things I can do to at least minimize how much I screw up? You

00:47:18.200 mentioned apologizing, being ready to apologize. Well, I'm going to get to that in a second,

00:47:22.500 actually. I'm going to get to that in tip number three. Okay. Can I say something real quick about

00:47:27.600 the, uh, no, cause it's wrong. Cause you're a terrible salesperson. Wow. I was just going to

00:47:33.860 talk about being genuine when it comes to, you know. Okay. Let's see if you learn something.

00:47:38.560 Go ahead. All right, go ahead. No, I'm just, you tell everybody what you think and I'll tell you if you're

00:47:42.240 right or wrong. Well, you taught me. It's like, I hope I'm right. Yeah. But you have a tendency to

00:47:46.140 remember things inaccurately. But he is an excellent videographer. He's very, very talented

00:47:53.240 at that. I should call you a producer director though. He's good at a lot of things, but let's

00:47:57.700 hear it. No, I was just saying when you try to interact with the customer and try, you know,

00:48:03.520 you just have to be genuine about it. Like, okay. So I worked with some people at the retail side and

00:48:07.720 they would just be over the top, just fake about it. And it's people can see through that

00:48:14.280 a hundred percent. You're totally right, dude. Like being genuine. And that comes down to the

00:48:18.700 belief you have in what you're doing. If you don't believe in what you're doing, you shouldn't

00:48:21.860 be doing it because not only are you not doing the business a service, you're not doing yourself a

00:48:26.680 service because you could only be so successful in things that you don't believe in. So if you don't

00:48:31.140 believe in it, you shouldn't be there because at the end of the day, if you don't give a fuck

00:48:34.720 about anybody else but yourself, you're still holding yourself back. Yeah. You see what I mean?

00:48:38.420 So yeah, you're right. Good job. You actually did listen. So, well, I kid you not just as a quick

00:48:44.500 example, quick example. Uh, I was at the store and one of the guys goes, this guy comes in, he was

00:48:51.380 a regular, but he didn't know. And he's like, oh man, I really like, I really like your, uh, you

00:48:56.280 know, your vehicle. Is that a Jeep Wrangler? I just wanted to blow my fucking brains out. It was so

00:49:01.440 so fucking obvious. So like, that's what, that's what, so that's what I'm trying to get

00:49:05.200 at here. Like, this is not, this is not part of the script. This is what Tyler said. It's,

00:49:11.860 this is a great point, dude. Thanks for bringing it up because this is a great point. You know,

00:49:16.580 people, I have this all the time. People try to throw sensory acuity into a script. You

00:49:22.720 can't fucking do that. Right. It's gotta be genuine. Like, dude, if you don't think the

00:49:27.240 guy's car is cool, don't fucking mention the car. Or if you're not interested in cars,

00:49:30.640 don't bring it up. Right. But find some kind of common ground to talk to the dude

00:49:34.740 about in a genuine manner. You know, we, I see that. Especially if he starts talking

00:49:41.000 back to you and you think that you're interested in cars and then you clearly don't know shit

00:49:44.420 about it. Exactly. It's like, now you make a fool of yourself. I think people don't, I

00:49:48.400 don't feel, I feel like people don't realize that they can be so honest as to say, hey, you

00:49:52.460 know what, Tyler, I don't really know a lot about cars, but I can obviously tell that

00:49:56.220 that's a pretty nice car. Tell me why you like cars. Exactly. You know, and now you've got

00:50:00.440 the guy talking about something that he cares about. Right. That you could learn

00:50:04.320 from. Right. Like try learning from them. Yeah. That's a great, that's a great thing

00:50:08.120 to do. Try learning from them. Everybody loves to teach somebody something that they don't

00:50:12.180 know because it makes them feel important. Right. What better way to make somebody feel

00:50:16.400 important than to talk to them about something that they don't know and let them teach you

00:50:19.500 about it. Right. It's fucking brilliant. I mean, that's, but that's a genuine thing.

00:50:24.500 Like to do that, you have to be genuinely connected, which actually leads into the next point.

00:50:28.380 Tip number two, which is be focused. Okay. Focus on the person in front of you. This isn't

00:50:34.340 the time to multitask. This isn't the time to be stocking your shelves or, uh, you know,

00:50:41.340 emailing or working on a computer or sweeping the floor, put the fucking broom down, look the

00:50:47.140 person in the eye and have a genuine interaction with them. It's not the time for you to be trying,

00:50:52.820 because what are you really saying when you, when you multitask, when you're really saying

00:50:56.820 this, me sweeping the floor here is more important than you. Me checking my cell phone here is by

00:51:02.720 the way, that's about the rudest fucking thing you can do. You know, and all you young dudes right

00:51:06.920 now and young girls, you guys have a bad habit of this. You'll try to have conversations while

00:51:12.040 you're on your phone. Talk about a way to totally sabotage your entire life. That makes me want to take

00:51:18.740 the phone and stick it in a real dirty place. I'm just saying. Didn't you say somebody once did

00:51:25.120 that in an interview with you? Yes. And guess what? They can get fucking hired. And here's,

00:51:29.920 here's, here's something in addition to that. It doesn't make it better to apologize for it.

00:51:35.300 No, not for that. I was in Nordstrom's the other day buying something for my wife. Oh,

00:51:38.340 sorry. I'm just, I'm just, uh, yeah, I'm just, I'm sorry, sir. I'll be, I'm, I'm, I'm almost done

00:51:42.220 texting. Like he's apologizing that he's texting your friend. No, I, I appreciate that you

00:51:46.120 apologize, but don't text your friend. Yeah. Period. Right. And like, dude, this goes down

00:51:51.300 to a number of different things. Okay. First of all, you want to make the person feel like

00:51:56.460 they're important because they are fucking important. We just talked about that. You

00:52:00.540 can only build businesses one person at a time. So what's more important than the one person right

00:52:05.060 in front of you? Tell me what could possibly be more important if you're dedicated to building

00:52:10.280 your business or building your network than that one person in front of you or that one person

00:52:16.100 who wrote you an email or the one person who left you a comment on your fucking Instagram

00:52:21.420 posts. When you have 700 followers and you get five comments, how come you're not responding

00:52:26.660 to those comments? Why are you not interacting? Why are you not going to the pages of these people

00:52:31.500 and, and interacting with them and engaging? Why? What is more important than that one person?

00:52:37.400 If you want to be successful, the answer is nothing. The answer is fucking nothing. Nothing is more

00:52:43.440 important than what you have in front of you. Nothing is more important than this, than this

00:52:47.020 person in front of you because all empires are built one person at a time. And you're not only

00:52:52.380 talking to this one person, you're talking to the two dozen other people that they're going to talk to

00:52:56.860 about you and you're in control of what they're going to say. So you have to be present. You have to

00:53:01.860 focus on what's at hand. And so many people have lost that because of this, you know,

00:53:08.000 and I'm holding my phone because of the phone, you know, they're, they're, they're in it. Dude,

00:53:13.580 learn how to do what I'm saying and you will have tremendous, tremendous success. Be present,

00:53:19.380 be focused. Okay. And then tip number three is this. Don't go into long lectures. Like I just said a

00:53:27.520 minute ago about getting taught something, you know, use questions to connect with people,

00:53:32.840 ask them questions, ask them things that they want to talk about. Okay. There's,

00:53:37.360 there's a lot of people that think the way that you engage customers and meet their needs is to

00:53:41.780 talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, and go on and on and on and on about whatever it is you have to

00:53:46.280 offer. And thinking that because you're the expert and you've talked to 97 people about this today,

00:53:52.120 that you're going to cover every question. And then that person's not going to have any questions.

00:53:56.040 And then you're just going to be able to, you know, sell them. No, people want to be heard.

00:54:01.180 They want to feel like they matter. They don't give a fuck. If you answer the question before they ask it,

00:54:06.500 they still want to ask the question. They still want to be heard. And this is such a difficult

00:54:12.760 thing for people to understand. It's not about you. It's about them. Ask them the questions you

00:54:19.260 need to ask them so that they can answer in a way that allows you and gives you the ability to solve

00:54:24.980 their problem. All right. Too many people talk for way too fucking long. Quit talking, open up your

00:54:32.700 fucking ears and listen to what they have to say and then respond in a way that helps them solve the

00:54:37.460 problem. This seems obvious. Like I'm, I'm, it's sad that I have to even explain this, but guys who

00:54:43.780 have been, this is, this is most common and experienced people. Okay. People who think they

00:54:48.980 know their company. Like I just got this pitch yesterday. I got a pitch yesterday from a radio guy,

00:54:54.860 which by the way, if you sell radio, you're probably in the bottom 1% of skilled salespeople.

00:55:01.680 And I know I have all the radio people who listen to this and think like, Oh, I'm so good. You

00:55:06.160 motherfuckers don't give a fuck about other people's business and the ones that do get hired out of it.

00:55:12.060 So if you want to be successful in sales and you're selling radio right now, start giving a shit

00:55:16.060 about people's response. That's my little thing. But I had this dude come to me.

00:55:19.980 First of all, I don't even handle that shit. Okay. So I don't want to talk about it. Second of all,

00:55:25.300 I've been buying radio for 20 fucking years. I know a lot more than you do after selling it for

00:55:29.920 one. Okay. Just because you sell radio doesn't make you the expert. How about this? How about

00:55:35.600 instead of telling me all the shit that you could bring to my business before you've ever had a

00:55:40.080 conversation with me and all the benefits and why I'm missing out of on this and this and this,

00:55:45.720 how about you ask me a couple of questions about my business and pretend that you're going to

00:55:49.940 try to learn about it. You know, you want to know where you're missing the sales. You're missing

00:55:54.620 the sales because you're talking too much and asking too little. That's it. That's where people

00:56:00.620 fucking fail. Okay. You're not going to connect or engage anybody by talking. You're going to connect

00:56:06.400 and engage people by letting them talk, letting them tell you about their cool car or their business

00:56:10.820 or their son's soccer game, letting them tell you about their afternoon plans today. Not you talking

00:56:17.220 about you and your product. No one gives a shit until they give a shit. You see what I'm saying?

00:56:23.460 Absolutely. So you know, the legendary coach, John Wooden. Yeah, I love him. Right. So he,

00:56:28.600 for those of you who don't know, awesome book to share ashamed of yourself. Yeah. Wooden. Yeah.

00:56:33.280 Wooden is a great book. Wooden on leadership. Probably my top two favorite books on leadership.

00:56:38.620 Incredible book. So 12 national championships. He motivated young men to become just incredible

00:56:46.800 people. Uh, there was an extensive study done on his practices. And of course, everybody thought,

00:56:52.680 well, you know, he's this motivating leader. He's this legendary coach. He must've had these really

00:56:56.440 long drawn out motivational speeches and his, his, uh, practices must, must've been a lot of him

00:57:02.660 talking. They did a series of studies. The average length of John Wooden's teaching and motivational

00:57:10.000 speeches was 16 seconds. Well, you know why? Why? Cause he got right to the point. Right. And he

00:57:16.880 didn't apologize. But he also asked a lot of questions. Like you're saying, you know, he, he,

00:57:20.820 he guided people without like verbally puking all over them. Right. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

00:57:26.440 To your point. Yeah. Yeah. Um, at the end of the day, guys, you know, we always talk about things

00:57:33.800 like on the show, success isn't magic. It's work. Um, and it's the same with people, you know,

00:57:39.460 you have to approach them. You have to be willing to engage them. And above all, you have to care.

00:57:44.580 And you know what happens when you do those three things? When, when you, when you take the courage

00:57:49.580 to approach, you take the effort to engage and you actually genuinely care about people,

00:57:54.540 you get results. People buy from you. People tell their friends about you. People will spread

00:58:00.900 great word of mouth about you because it's so rare. You have to understand guys that these three things

00:58:07.760 are essential. Okay. Having the courage to approach, putting the effort into engaging,

00:58:12.680 and you could do this on social media, respond to comments, respond to questions, get interactive

00:58:18.180 with people's pages, you know, go to their page, like a few photos, go to their page, leave a couple

00:58:23.300 comments, dude, show them that you appreciate their support. And guess what? They're going to

00:58:27.980 support you even more. All right. Learn to give people just do. They, they have this thing where

00:58:35.520 it's all about them and it's short circuits, everything be focused on them, be present with

00:58:41.180 them, be engaging with them, and you will get it back tenfold. Right. You know, I talk while we're

00:58:46.540 on social media, do you want to share yours? Oh yeah. You can follow them. I do this all the time.

00:58:50.340 I respond to everybody's comment. I try to respond to almost everybody's comment on every

00:58:54.220 post. Now, sometimes I make a post and I have to walk away. By the time I come back,

00:58:58.320 it's got 500 comments and the post is already dead. And what I mean by dead is it's a few

00:59:01.960 hours old and nobody's, so I, I just leave it alone. But if I'm able to, I try to set aside

00:59:07.120 time 30 minutes to an hour after I post to interact, you know, go to my page and check it out. And by

00:59:12.980 the way, it's Andy Fursella on Instagram. Um, same on, on Facebook and then, uh, MFCEO-1 on

00:59:20.960 Snapchat. Mine's at Vaughn Kohler, V-A-U-G-H-N-K-O-H-L-E-R. I'm going to tell you guys, one of my personal

00:59:28.720 resolutions in 2017 is to be more active because frankly, Andy's a whole lot busier than I am and

00:59:34.560 is a lot better about interacting with you all. But I am, uh, I'm working on it.

00:59:38.420 Why is that? Cause I know how fucking important every single person is. Yeah. You know what I'm

00:59:43.300 saying? I'm not saying that you don't, but I know it. I hear you. Well, honestly, I've been very like

00:59:47.840 my conscience is because our, our listeners are the best and they, and so I'm catching, I I'm

00:59:53.260 actually in the process of catching up with a lot of the comments. So, um, definitely, definitely. I,

00:59:58.560 I 100% you, you are amazing at this, frankly, for how busy you are and how highly interactive you are.

01:00:04.900 It's that important. Yeah, it is that important. Uh, guys, uh,

01:00:08.120 Tyler is at M-A-I underscore T-Y-L-E-R. Uh, lots of fashion photos and, and salmon shorts.

01:00:16.040 If you want to check out. He's a good looking dude, ladies. I'm just saying. Good looking

01:00:18.260 dude, ladies and gentlemen. I was just about to say, I can't believe you said ladies versus

01:00:22.940 dudes. Even though I'm totally not gay. Not that that's, you know, not okay, but you know.

01:00:27.600 That's a longstanding joke. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Yeah. I wear short shorts.

01:00:31.180 Here's the thing, guys. You know, if you want more on this, instead of listening to this

01:00:35.760 podcast again, go back and listen to, uh, success, the successful know how to make an impact

01:00:41.780 because that talks about more like they know how to impact people because they've committed

01:00:46.640 themselves to doing it over and over and over again. And, you know, at first nobody's good at

01:00:52.620 it, you know, but like we've talked about on the show, on this episode, over time, we get better,

01:00:57.980 we get better. We learn what not to do, what not to say, and what to say and how to do things.

01:01:01.680 And we learn that the script isn't always the answer and we become a well-rounded, skilled,

01:01:09.840 able connector and engagement, uh, expert, you know, and that's what sales really is.

01:01:16.780 Yeah. Um, those of you who know, you know that Andy really loves reading and, you know,

01:01:21.460 obviously if you want to get successful, you got to read, read, read, read one book that has been

01:01:25.000 literally a bestseller every year since 1939 that I think is helpful on this. It's not,

01:01:30.180 doesn't have all the answers, but it's helpful is Dale Carnegie's book, how to win friends and

01:01:34.040 influence people. The only downside of that book is that it's not really written for modern people.

01:01:40.100 It hasn't been updated in a way that I think is really appropriate. There needs to be a new voice

01:01:44.740 speaking to these issues. Hint, hint, hint. Yeah. Well, we might have something for that coming up

01:01:52.380 pretty soon. We may or may not have a book coming out very, very soon. Yeah. Um, guys at the end of the

01:01:59.460 day, man, it takes courage, right? It takes, like I said, the very first step we talked about here

01:02:04.740 is the step where most people fail, not only in business, not only in sales, but in life.

01:02:09.380 And they let that one person or that one interaction or that one, like I have a rule here. Like if

01:02:16.620 you're, if you're in sales position in my companies and you come to me and you start the conversation

01:02:21.580 with, well, there's that one guy who I will fucking find you. Okay. That one guy. Don't talk to me about

01:02:29.660 that one guy. Don't talk to me about that one guy who upset you or that one guy who's pissed you off

01:02:34.780 or that one guy who was mean to you. Talk to me about the 99 who had awesome interactions and you

01:02:39.940 were able to help solve the problems. Let's focus our energy there because if you don't have the courage

01:02:44.600 to move past that one guy, then you're not going to do shit. And that's just the way it is. You know,

01:02:50.740 so many people are just so pussified that they can't handle one bad interaction that they take

01:02:57.640 the whole rest of their lives and just punt it and say, you know what? Everybody out there is a piece

01:03:03.260 of shit. They become bitter. They become mad. They become angry. They become someone who contributes

01:03:08.000 nothing. And that's how people lose. So don't be that guy. Be someone with courage, be someone with,

01:03:13.260 with confidence, be someone who can let things roll off the back, you know, when they happen badly

01:03:18.740 and move forward. That's, what's going to make it happen for you guys. You know, and to finish off

01:03:25.000 guys, you know, as always, we don't charge for anything. We don't have programs. We don't have,

01:03:31.720 you know, webinars and we might have something in the future, but we haven't. And we've done over a

01:03:38.180 hundred episodes of content. You know, I get people to ask me all the time for mentorship and

01:03:43.120 can we caulk on the phone and can we do this? No, because I'm giving you my best shit. I'm not

01:03:49.080 holding anything back. I'm giving you the best things that I have to offer here for fucking free.

01:03:53.960 And all I ask in return is a, you listen. If you're too lazy to listen to all the podcasts and you want

01:03:59.940 me to ask my advice, that's the first thing I'm going to ask you when you ask, well, have you

01:04:03.780 listened to the episode this? Cause it answers that question. Can you listen to the episode that?

01:04:07.900 Cause it answers that question. You know, if you're too fucking lazy, what makes you think I want to

01:04:12.300 work with you? You know what I mean? I put the shit out there for fucking free. Absolutely. Okay.

01:04:16.760 And because I put it out there for free, the one thing I do ask is that you tell your friends.

01:04:23.200 All right. If you have friends that would like this podcast, find this information valuable,

01:04:27.980 tell them. All right. That's all we ask. Right. While we're on the subject of webinars,

01:04:32.580 I did screw up by not mentioning earlier that what we announced as far as the winners or the

01:04:37.520 grand pies winners. We do have, we did also. They were the grand pies winners? Sorry. Did they win a

01:04:42.320 fucking grand pie? I'm being authentic. What kind of pie do they win, Vaughn? Oh, you'll have to

01:04:48.160 edit it out. No, we're not editing you at all. Guess who's in control of the edits here? We announced

01:04:54.720 the grand prize winners. Me and Tyler, and not you. Yes. So I think you guys. Vaughn likes some grand pies.

01:04:59.160 I think you guys. Everybody go to Vaughn's page and hashtag grand pies. You know they're going to

01:05:06.980 now. I know because they're awesome. Oh, great. Yes. So anyway, what was I saying? Grand pies. If

01:05:12.860 you recall, we also promised that there would be a, there would be a webinar with you for the

01:05:17.740 secondary prize winners. There's like a, a couple dozen I think are going to win that. We will let

01:05:22.260 those of you who won that, we will let you know that in the next couple of weeks. Cool. So that'll be

01:05:28.060 served right up with your grandpa. Right. Exactly. Pizza pies. All right, guys. Love you guys. We'll

01:05:32.380 talk to you next time.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - November 23, 2016

Approach And Engage, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO109

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