Competition Drives Excellence, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO29
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 2 minutes
Words per Minute
204.18158
Summary
Vaughn and Andy's Dad, Sal Frisella, returns to the studio to discuss why a competitive mindset is good for business, America, and the best possible life. The MFCEO Project is a production of Native Creative Podcasts.
Transcript
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Hey guys, what's up? This is Vaughn Kohler, and you're listening to the MFCEO Project.
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Today, the man who taught Andy Frisella to kill, kill, kill,
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returns to the studio to help the MFCEO Project crew, and yours truly,
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discuss why a competitive mindset is good for business, America, and the best possible life.
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Hey guys, what's up? You're listening to the MFCEO Project.
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I'm here with my co-host, Vaughn Kohler. I'm going to let you explain that today.
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What is a motherfucking CEO, Vaughn? Can you even say the words?
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Yes, yes. No, I can. I'm going to translate in my language.
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It is a gentleman who doesn't take anything from anybody.
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So guys, basically what it is, is you might not be an entrepreneur, you might not own your own business,
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but you have to understand that you are the CEO of your own life, okay?
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You are in charge of the actions that you take.
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You are in charge of the investments you make into yourself.
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You are in charge of the effort that you put out into the world.
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And what this podcast is about, if you're a new listener, is about taking away the fluff,
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taking away the fucking unicorns and the fluffy flowers and care bears
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and all the rainbow shit that they teach you growing up in school,
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getting down to the nitty-gritty facts of what it takes to be successful
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We're going to offer, for those who want to pay for it,
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We've already been talking like 45 minutes on various topics of importance to American society.
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Yeah, man, we're going to turn this into politics.
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We had a lot of requests to have the MSCE dad back on the show.
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we're podcasting at one if you want to show up.
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I don't know if that means I'm coming or I'm not coming.
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Yeah, you showed up, though, 10 minutes before,
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which means you must be, like, hungry for the fame and riches of podcasting.
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He still thinks he'd kick everybody's ass, all right?
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But the thing is, is that he thinks he could do everything that he did when he was 20.
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So he just remodeled his whole bathroom by himself with no help.
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I don't know if any of you guys listening do tile or done floors.
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You're up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down.
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And he did that thinking, you know, he's the man.
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And that was not unusual for me to do something like that.
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But anyway, by the way, I do really, really good work.
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If anybody needs their bathroom done out there.
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See, we have this competition in the family of who does the best tile work.
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And everybody knows that I do the best tile work.
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Yeah, you know what I learned was when we did that house.
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But anyway, if anybody's done any tile, you have to get up and down.
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And I have to get up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down.
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And so I went to the gym and I worked them out.
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My girlfriend had to tie my shoes, pull my pants up, and a few other things.
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Yeah, weren't you guys sitting in a fucking bathtub in front of the sunset together?
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Let me tell you, my hamstrings hurt so bad, there was no shit.
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And finally, my favorite son, which Andrew doesn't think he's my favorite son, which he is.
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But anyway, Sal has been giving me stretching and torturing me and hurting me the last couple days.
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And I know he's getting me back for when I beat his ass when he was little.
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But anyway, I was coming over anyway right before he texted me.
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So this is Sal's process for you rehabbing, huh?
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Well, as much as I'd like to talk about Sal kicking your ass for the whole day, because it sounds awesome.
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I do want to start out with a question of the day.
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And I'm going to target this to anybody who feels like they want to answer.
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What the fuck are people thinking bringing in Syrian refugees into the United States of America?
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If you fucking think this is a good idea and you're listening to this podcast, quit fucking listening.
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This isn't a matter of, you know, what's right.
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Is it right to take people in and take care of them?
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Is it right to treat your fellow man, respect and care?
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It's also right to make sure that this country is in the best state that it possibly can be in for the future generations to come.
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So it's not a matter of right or wrong or you're an asshole.
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If you think that these people shouldn't be here.
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And what's more right for you in the United States is not to bring in a bunch of people that we have no fucking idea who they are,
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who have a recent reputation of turmoil, disruption, and terrorism so that we can figure out how to deal with them or how our kids can figure out how to deal with them.
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Do I feel bad that things are going bad for these people?
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Do I feel bad that they're drowning in their race to get out of their country?
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But I think it's time for America to focus their efforts on taking care of the 50,000 homeless veterans that we have on the streets or all of our problems first.
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All of the homeless people here before we welcome in these people from all the way across the globe and start feeding and taking care of and financing them for who knows what.
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You know, a lot of people don't want to fucking tell the truth when it comes to that.
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Look, man, just because I don't want them here doesn't mean I want bad for them.
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But we've got our own issues and we've got to take care of our own problems.
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But the reality is life is not always, you know, good decision and good decision.
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And a hard decision is to say, hey, dude, we need to take care of America.
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We need to take care of the people who fucking matter here.
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And no matter liberal, Republican, Democrat, fucking libertarian, I don't care.
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And when we get us fixed and us solved, then we can take our humanitarian tendencies and focus and help other people.
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Sean Whalen, who's going to be on the podcast next week, has a saying that he says, lions eat first.
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And a lot of people will say, oh, the leader eats last.
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Because if the lion doesn't eat first, it can't take care of the pack.
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And anybody who doesn't understand that, I'm sorry.
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There's something wrong with your fucking brain.
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It's not like we don't feel bad for those people.
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Dude, my heart goes out to them when I see these kids drowning in this shit.
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But what makes that, you know, is that worth sacrificing one American life, the potential
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of losing one American life or one murder or one terrorist attack because I feel bad for
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And it would be nice if we could all live in this perfect world that was perfect and
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nobody got their fucking feelings hurt and everybody got everything they needed.
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They start doing shit and fucking up our system.
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If you got more to say, I don't because that is all there is to say.
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And like liberals and Republicans like to make this about politics.
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If you're American, I still love you more than I love them.
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Well, I think you ought to take it to put it on YouTube and put it on.
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Yeah, no, but it's none of the politicians are saying it.
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Well, one of them may say it, but, but, uh, that's because they got to worry about votes
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So anyway, we are going to actually talk about something relevant to business.
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Um, and there was a little business lesson in there.
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I think, you know, you got to take care of yourself first.
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You know, you've got to take, you've got to take care of yourself first.
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You know, a lot of truth to that in a lot of situations.
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Um, today we're going to talk about something that I think is going to be pretty cool.
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If you listen to the podcast for any length of time in the past, you know, just how pathetic
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we think America has gotten when it comes to competition.
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Basically our country's being run by people who don't like it and some people win, some
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And that's why we give trophies for 17th place.
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We think having a competitive mindset and having a desire to win is critical to success.
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If you don't have a competitive mindset, if you can't understand that some people are
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people win and some people lose, you're never going to win.
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You know, part of the reason that we even have this podcast is because kids these days
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are raised in such a way to believe that the world is a fair place.
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And they're brought up to the age of the 18 to think that they're going to be this special
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little delicate flower that they're going to run out in the world and the world's
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going to fucking shower gold coins and fucking, you know, titties on them the whole fucking
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So I was excited about this topic because I love the story that we're going to use to
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But before, Jim, you tell that story, I think what's amazing about this story when you first
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told me is that people either really get it or they're completely offended by it.
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Well, for those of you guys that don't know, I have a younger brother and we're less than
00:13:06.260
From the time that I can remember when we were, what, how old were we, like three years
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From as long as I, the first memory I have, literally, from Christmas memory is that my
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dad got us boxing gloves and we're like two and three or three and four or something like
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And he got us both a set of boxing gloves and made us box, okay?
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Well, you beat Sal's ass just like you did for 25 years.
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So anyway, we've been bred to be competitive, okay?
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There's a chant that we use here at First Form and at Supplement Superstores that we end our meetings with, okay?
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And if you see me speak live, you know that I work this into our speaking engagements as well.
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And we always played on the same team, I guess, just because we were so close in age and it was just easier to have everybody on the same team, all right?
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And he could play with the big boys from day one.
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So on our way to these games, okay, we had a couple things that we did.
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One, it was understood that if during this soccer game we either ran over and hurt another kid or we scored a goal, we got a toy, okay?
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And that means we got to go to the toy store after the game and buy, like, a toy.
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A legit toy, like a G.I. Joe figure or just, like, just a little trinket?
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It wasn't something crazy, but it was something.
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So there's a reward for, like, being competitive and aggressive, right?
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So he would give us this pep talk on the way to the game.
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And we would sit in the back seat and he'd sit in the front seat driving and he would look in the rearview mirror and look at us.
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And he'd be like, all right, listen, when you get in there, you got to be aggressive.
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You got to go in the corner and you got to get that fucking puck out.
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And the reason he said puck is because our older brother always played hockey.
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So I guess you were giving Jimmy this talk, too, huh?
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And at the end of the talk, he would say, he'd look in the mirror and he'd go, now, what are you going to do?
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And, dude, we'd run out of the fucking car and we would go straight to the soccer field and fucking murder kids.
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How many fights did you get in the stands when we were growing up?
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And people are listening to this and they're saying, holy shit, is this true?
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And I also assure you that there's been a lot more wins than there has been losses for either one of us because of that mentality.
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But, you know, last time you told this story in, let's see, I think it was Setting the Record Straight was the podcast that you were in.
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You made a point, Jim, and your point was that it wasn't about hurting somebody.
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Yeah, actually, I don't think anybody ever got hurt, ever.
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Anybody got hurt when Andrew kicked the ball right through their head.
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I mean, that might even be, like, the wrong term.
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It was more like if you ran a kid over and made, like, an aggressive play.
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Like, you know, I don't think they actually really did get hurt either.
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You know, so, you know, the thing is, is that in today's society, if that story came out in today's society, like, dude, it would be all over fucking news.
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It'd be like, Dad puts bounties on other kids' heads.
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And that's what it would be, and that's the difference between 30 years ago and now, you know, now it's, you know, everybody gets a trophy, and we don't keep score when we live in la-la land, and that's not fucking reality, you know?
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That's not how the world operates, and if you're conditioned to think that way, and you think that everything is roses and flowers and petals and sweet, you're going to learn real quick that nobody gives a shit.
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So, developing a competitive mindset is a necessity of being successful.
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You know, it doesn't mean you focus on other people's losses.
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It means you focus on doing the best that you can, knowing that if you're not the best that you can, you're not going to fucking win anything.
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I think that's what is really sad to me about the whole parental mindset today that wants to coddle kids and wants to give them a trophy for 27th place is that it's like what you said.
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You think you're loving them, but you're doing the exact opposite.
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Well, this is where I'm coming from, and what you guys are saying is exactly true.
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It wasn't about hurting anybody or doing anything else.
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It was teaching how to win and go out there and play as hard as you can, do the best you can, and that was another thing, you know, having the superpower.
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No matter how much you played out there, you had more power within your will to do better when you were out there than anybody else.
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And if you draw on that power, and even today you draw on the power, you just draw on it.
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It was a – I gave more than one talk than kill, kill, kill, but everybody, one of my sons on their team, every single, the baseball, football, soccer.
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Or – and I'll brag a little bit, which this may get cut out of here, but both of my sons wrestled.
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They wrestled in little league grade school and in high school, and they had to quit in high school because it conflicted with football.
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And if anybody's ever competitively wrestled, you're one-on-one.
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It's the hardest sport there is, and when I had my business, if you wrestled, you were in with me, man.
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Sports is a competitive way, and I only – I don't say I only hired – I have about 200 employees, okay?
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I just didn't hire athletes that were successful, but they had to be successful in something, in some competitive thing.
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But that competitive spirit is what makes people and what makes them successful.
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I mean, I don't know if I want to describe it exactly.
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Dude, it's the will that want to be better than the next guy no matter what you're doing.
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It's not – even if you're sweeping the fucking floor, you want to do a better job than the other dude sweeping the floor.
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We're not talking about winning a gold medal at the Olympics here.
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We're talking about a sense of being the best at what you want to do no matter what that is.
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You know, if it's being the best garbage man on your fucking crew, it's being the best garbage man.
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If it's being the best CEO, it's being the best fucking CEO.
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And if you take away competition, you take away that drive.
00:21:31.560
Well, I mean, you know, to me, as human beings, we have to have competition to drive excellence.
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I mean, anybody who looks at it any other way, like they're afraid of competing or they're scared of competing or this or that,
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they're not going to ever make it in the real world because the real world is you look at your competitor.
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You use that as a gauge of how much better you need to be, and you become better than that.
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And then when he becomes better than you, then you become better than him.
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And it goes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.
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And I think a lot of people, you know, they try to remove the competitiveness of society.
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And when you take away the chance to win, you undermine the motive to achieve just based off of how we are as humans.
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You know, when you try to make it so that everybody wins and this and that, you know, what you're really doing is you're taking away people's drive to be great.
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Whether that be in soccer when you're five years old or whether that be in business when you're 55 years old.
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What's amazing to me, though, is I've actually been I've known kids.
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Unfortunately, my nephew was in a league where they didn't keep score.
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And so even though there was this group of soccer moms in this league who said, we're not going to keep score.
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The reality is my nephew and all of his buddies mentally, they were keeping score.
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They knew at the end of the day who won the game and who didn't.
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If you sort of institutionally take away that competition or that keeping score that somebody wins and somebody loses,
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you have completely, almost completely obliterated the drive and the incentive.
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You know, I want to put a little context on this.
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I've never lost anything I've ever attempted to do ever.
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I might have come in second place, but the other guy got the shit beat out of him.
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It's that competitive spirit lives on in you for me and Sal.
00:23:48.500
Yeah, but the thing is, though, is that people don't, what they don't think about is that, you know,
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when you're not allowing people to lose, you're taking away their ability to learn.
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You know, I feel like, you know, and I know this for a fact.
00:24:00.380
I mean, in business, the most valuable shit that you're going to do in business is going to be the times when you mess up.
00:24:06.380
It's going to be the times when you make mistakes.
00:24:07.960
It's going to be the times when you invest, you know, $1,000 when it's your last $1,000 and you fucking lose it.
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Because that $1,000 that you invest and you lose now, that's going to be $1,000,000 in 10 years as long as you don't quit.
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So it saved you $990,000 if you think about it the right way.
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So when you don't lose and you're not willing to lose and you're not understanding what it means to lose or how to benefit from losing,
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And that's what these people, that's what happens when everybody fucking wins.
00:24:39.780
They don't know how to deal with losing, you know?
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I mean, you just become stronger as a result of failure.
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I think most people, you know, they're – and this is the problem, man, is like our younger generation, they're so not used to losing that when they get out in the real world and the fucking world just takes a big bite right out of their ass, dude, it shuts them down for good.
00:25:11.820
And that's where they get this attitude from, you know?
00:25:15.800
So we've been talking basically to Jim from the standpoint of you being a parent to Andy and Sal and – is it Jimmy?
00:25:25.760
So – but let's switch this because you guys are both, you know, entrepreneurs and you've both been successful businessmen.
00:25:31.660
What would be the downside of shielding your employees from failure?
00:25:38.480
Well, I don't got to think about this for a minute.
00:25:45.920
Well, what you did, you picked employees and you trained them and taught them and you taught them everything that I know or you sent them to school to learn.
00:25:54.800
It depends on what kind of organization you want to run.
00:25:56.220
Yeah, and you go through that, but part of the process is losing.
00:26:02.460
And if I had a manager or whatever it is, you would give them the opportunity to do their own thing, to develop their process or whatever it is,
00:26:15.320
and they would say, I want to do it this way, this way, and this way, and you would give them the tools, you give them money, some people, or whatever it is to do it.
00:26:22.640
And then they would fail and you would review the failure of why they failed and say, well, you could have, I never told them what to do.
00:26:34.620
I yelled and screamed, but it was the teaching mode was to teach them how to think for themselves and how to win by themselves by a learning lesson.
00:26:43.540
And unfortunately, people don't usually learn those lessons unless they go out and do them themselves.
00:26:49.840
There's a big difference between, like I'm going to tell you and you'll agree with, I think, is that if you told the same person, I learned this lesson too, man.
00:26:57.520
Like I used to try to dictate to my team what they needed to do.
00:27:01.200
And what they would do is they would go do it my way begrudgingly, and they would say, dude, that fucking Andy thinks he knows everything.
00:27:06.480
So then what I started doing and, you know, under his advice was I started to do the same thing.
00:27:13.280
You know, people would come to me and say, well, what do you think you should do?
00:27:18.540
And if it was like a big, if it was like something I knew they were going to fuck up, but it was going to cost me a little bit of money, I let them go fuck up because it'll teach them the lesson.
00:27:26.160
I look at that loss of money as an investment in their progress.
00:27:30.900
So, but if let's say it was a big thing, like it was a big thing, like, you know, like they got this great idea and they're going to go make you, it's going to cost you a hundred grand or a million dollars if they fuck it up.
00:27:44.080
Like, they'd be like, oh, I think we should do it this way.
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I said, well, have you thought about doing it this way?
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And then if they still fight it, that's when I said, all right, look, we're not doing it that way.
00:27:58.380
You know, there has to be limits to how much rope you give them.
00:28:06.060
You're teaching somebody through delegation how to learn, how to be successful.
00:28:10.920
And I had five managers at the end of my business.
00:28:20.240
When I said earlier, it depends on the kind of organization you want to run.
00:28:23.280
If you want to run an autonomous organization of dudes who will not make your life miserable
00:28:28.160
and who will run shit and you can go on vacation and live a normal life, dude, you got to let
00:28:35.120
If you want to run something that will never run without you being there, then feel free
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to be on top of them like a mother hen all the time.
00:28:45.720
Well, in my first business years, you learn as you grow up.
00:28:49.700
My Harvard or Yale was working in the business and getting the shit kicked out of me, you know.
00:28:53.920
Which is more valuable than any Harvard or Yale.
00:28:55.780
Yeah, and the ability to teach people how to win is what really we're talking about right here.
00:29:09.720
And you give me any company to run, I could run it right now.
00:29:29.960
And it's overcomplicated by, I mean, if we're talking about small business, small business
00:29:36.960
I could sit down with people for eight hours, teach them everything they need to know.
00:29:45.280
Because those people have to justify their jobs by making it complicated.
00:29:52.260
It comes down to taking one customer and making it on two.
00:29:56.780
So, I disagree with you like saying, oh, I couldn't do that.
00:30:02.880
No, but like some of these people are listening.
00:30:20.860
But people, but Vaughn, people overcomplicate business.
00:30:23.400
And you guys listening, people overcomplicate it.
00:30:25.760
They think that there's like this secret thing.
00:30:33.840
It's the ability to make it simple is the secret that they have.
00:30:41.560
And what's interesting is if anybody's paying attention and listening to this podcast, not
00:30:46.320
just this episode, but all of them, connect the dots, guys.
00:30:49.740
Because the number one or one of the number one complaints among employers right now is
00:30:53.800
that employees, particularly young ones, don't know how to problem solve.
00:31:01.280
Because they've never, well, they've never had to face a problem because they've been
00:31:04.480
shielded from problems by helicopter parents and people who thought, oh, I don't want
00:31:10.260
Johnny to have a bruised ego because he experiences a sense of failure.
00:31:14.360
And the great, great result or the great fruit that comes out of failure is learning to overcome
00:31:21.460
And it doesn't, I mean, it makes total sense that you have a whole workforce right now in
00:31:25.520
Dude, if you're on a soccer team and you go out, dude, all right, look, when I play lacrosse,
00:31:31.080
okay, and we used to travel around the country.
00:31:35.740
And when I first played it, which was almost 20 years ago, it was tiny here in Missouri.
00:31:42.460
So we would travel out to like the East Coast, all right, on a trip every year.
00:31:47.360
And we would play against teams from Baltimore.
00:31:49.700
And in fucking Baltimore, I don't know if anybody knows, but it's like the lacrosse capital
00:31:53.940
of the universe in terms of high school lacrosse, all right?
00:31:57.240
We played this team out there called Calvert Hall, okay?
00:32:05.640
At the end of the day, dude, I was just, I play long stick.
00:32:15.180
You know what you should do to drive home this point?
00:32:16.800
Because I don't know that everybody listening really understands how lacrosse.
00:32:23.280
What the typical lacrosse game is, what, like five to three?
00:32:27.000
It could be like 11 to seven or something like that.
00:32:35.540
It's usually a medium, like 11 to seven type game.
00:32:40.480
And these fucking kids, you know, dude, they were unbelievable.
00:32:45.080
And to the point where like, and I was a pretty good athlete, man.
00:32:55.020
And when I mean hatch them, I mean I would take my stick and hit them as hard as I fucking could in their head.
00:33:03.260
So, if they came within four feet of me, they got fucking hatcheted.
00:33:09.260
We will go out there at the beginning of the year, and we get our asses beat by three or four teams.
00:33:13.540
We come back to Missouri and kill everybody because we went out there and we lost, and we learned so much from losing to these guys who were so much better than us that we came back here and dominated.
00:33:28.720
You know, a lot of people hate competition because they don't like losing.
00:33:34.520
But if you can't learn from your abilities, if you can't learn from the losses that you take, you're never going to be great.
00:33:42.540
It's impossible because everybody goes through that.
00:33:44.860
Like, dude, let's talk about something current right now.
00:33:47.500
Ronda Rousey gets her ass beat the other night.
00:34:03.100
Well, dude, if you're going to get in the ring with bare fists against anybody, you're going to have to be pretty fucking cocky.
00:34:13.320
Now she's in a situation where she was the best, the best, the best, the best, the best.
00:34:21.180
She can either go and improve her skills, hire somebody who can help her improve,
00:34:29.420
But my argument is that, dude, her story, if she goes and improves and becomes better,
00:34:35.860
will be 10 times the story that it would have been had she went undefeated.
00:34:42.660
You know, you have to be able to go out and understand that to become great.
00:34:49.860
I think now she has the opportunity to become great.
00:34:53.340
You fucking learn how to box from somebody who knows how to box because clearly she doesn't know how to box the right way.
00:35:02.840
Now you're talking about somebody who's got some heart.
00:35:08.020
You know, and the reality is people don't look at it like that.
00:35:10.480
They look at it like, you know, oh, I fucking got fired from my job at McDonald's.
00:35:17.980
Which actually reminds me of something that you say, Andy, all the time,
00:35:22.600
which is that there is a difference between losing and being a loser.
00:35:27.460
If you come out, you give every ounce of effort you have and you still lose,
00:35:33.580
You know, what makes you a loser is when you go home from that lesson and you quit.
00:35:39.520
When you go home from that lesson, you say, fuck, that wasn't meant for me.
00:35:42.460
Or you say, you go home from that, that ass beating you took and you say, you know,
00:35:50.100
That's what makes somebody, and no offense, I'm not like picking on, I'm just saying,
00:35:53.520
if you could be fucking a CEO and you choose to be a fucking bicycle ice cream man,
00:35:58.920
you know, you're significantly underperforming.
00:36:03.620
There's some famous quote, and I don't know who it's by.
00:36:05.600
I think it's like Teddy Roosevelt or somebody that basically says,
00:36:08.140
the person who's the competitor, whether they win or lose, they're winners.
00:36:17.440
The ones that just sit on the armchair and have the criticism.
00:36:19.800
I mean, that's never been more prevalent than today.
00:36:22.640
98% of America is fucking armchair critic about everything.
00:36:26.660
I don't realize how many political experts and fucking financial experts and fucking UFC experts we had until the last week when we're talking about, you know, all these current affairs.
00:36:46.020
But, you know, on the highest levels, to your point, what you were just saying, on the highest levels of, like, athleticism or business or what have you, you know, when, let's say when two titans of sports face each other and one of them loses, invariably the other one, the one who won the match or the game or whatever, there is always huge respect for the person that lost.
00:37:09.080
Because that person that won knows, this person, I just, in this case, I was better.
00:37:14.520
But that's not necessarily saying that the person who failed in this situation is a loser.
00:37:21.240
That's why you never see major shit talking after, like, you know, a team beats another team.
00:37:27.640
Because they respect the process of what it takes to get in that game in the first place.
00:37:35.960
Hey, you know, a question that's going through my mind here, this person we're talking to out there in the podcast is,
00:37:44.900
how does this competitive spirit apply to me if I don't have it, or how do I get it, or where do I get it from, or how does it apply to me, or how can I get it, how can I use it?
00:37:58.440
And, you know, I'm not wanting to be talking about myself, but I don't know.
00:38:08.420
I woke up in the morning, I didn't want to lose, and I don't want, I never have lost that ever.
00:38:14.200
Don't you think that people are born with that naturally?
00:38:17.480
But I also, I mean, for people who are not natural, I mean, I do think that it can be cultivated.
00:38:23.540
But what I'm saying is, I think my opinion on it is that people are born with it naturally, and then they get it bred out of them, or taught out of them.
00:38:32.340
Like, hey, you know, Johnny, it doesn't matter who wins or loses.
00:38:36.260
It matters, you know, how much sportsmanship you have, which, yes, that matters too, but fuck, it sure does matter if you win or lose.
00:38:44.040
So I'm going to throw something out, and I would love to hear what you guys have to say to this.
00:38:47.400
I mean, I'm thinking about what he just said too.
00:38:48.880
Like, how do you cultivate competitiveness amongst somebody who's not naturally a competitive person?
00:38:54.220
But this is why I think they're not naturally competitive.
00:38:56.640
I think there are people who look at other people who are very good at what they do, okay, and they see those people, and they, in many cases, those people might be bad winners.
00:39:07.440
In other words, it's not about being the best to them.
00:39:09.680
It's about just hurting other people, or it's about making other people look bad.
00:39:12.980
And so I think that people wrongly associate competitiveness and wanting to win with being mean.
00:39:33.220
I mean, nice people sometimes have a hard time being competitive.
00:39:43.840
Like I said in the beginning of the podcast, you know, ideals are nice to think about.
00:39:50.720
It's nice to think about allowing everybody in the world to come to this country.
00:39:54.700
I mean, dude, it's nice to think about everybody becoming a millionaire or a billionaire.
00:40:02.280
Well, when I was, I went into business when I was 20, all right, and I didn't know everything.
00:40:16.760
What this is about right now is what you're doing is giving people access to knowledge that they didn't have before.
00:40:26.440
I read every book there was, every single person.
00:40:31.700
And it did teach me, emulate them, and not everyone, I never want to lose.
00:40:39.200
You lose it is the worst fucking thing on earth.
00:40:42.180
I mean, when we played checkers or whatever it was, we were a little, no, I used to let you guys win once in a while, but I wasn't that bad.
00:40:52.760
Your answer for why you wanted to win is you wanted to become better.
00:41:01.360
It's about you being the best possible version of yourself.
00:41:10.300
Like, dude, you could justify it any way you want.
00:41:12.820
If you're a parent, you could tell your kids any bullshit you want.
00:41:23.160
And if you do happen to lose, you figure out why the fuck you lost, and you come up with a plan to not lose again.
00:41:34.940
Do you want your kid to be fucking broke when he's 30 years old?
00:41:37.920
Do you want him working at fucking McDonald's, begging for $15 minimum wage to live?
00:41:44.120
If you don't fucking want him doing that, quit teaching him it's okay to fucking lose.
00:41:49.740
If you accept the losing, you're going to accept mediocrity.
00:41:55.520
You know, so when you're sitting around wondering why, you know, your kid can't get his fucking shit together and get out of your motherfucking basement,
00:42:02.440
well, maybe it's because you taught him that it was okay to fucking lose.
00:42:07.980
You know, I'm sorry for all you fucking liberal hippies out there to think it's okay,
00:42:11.640
and everybody, dude, fuck, get your head out of your ass.
00:42:17.120
There's a hell of a lot of people that we're talking to out there right now that they're going to be listening to this whenever this thing comes out.
00:42:24.300
They're not going to get what we're talking about.
00:42:29.080
Okay, your people, I don't know who we're actually talking to.
00:42:36.740
All he knows is he comes and talks into the fucking microphone.
00:42:40.380
I'm talking to David over there who's laughing at me.
00:42:42.780
I'm going to kick his little ass and he's going to be a loser when this is over.
00:42:50.480
Tyler had to go get another pair of coral shorts.
00:42:53.840
He had to go straight to Miami to get him, though.
00:42:58.580
Are you sure it wasn't Key West he was going to?
00:43:06.620
There are probably some people listening in our audience.
00:43:10.800
Most of our audience are people who kill it every day, and they are people who are overachievers.
00:43:17.340
But your point is that there probably is somebody who's listening who's maybe tempted at times to underachieve.
00:43:21.720
If they're listening to this, then they're in the right world listening to something that, am I right?
00:43:28.960
No, there's other people who are smarter than me, and you need to listen to all of them.
00:43:33.700
But none of them are going to tell you it's okay to lose, either.
00:43:44.740
We're at a turning point of what people actually believe is true.
00:43:48.040
We've had fucking 10 years of this everybody wins.
00:43:57.920
And, dude, people are starting to realize that it doesn't work, okay?
00:44:02.280
Like I said a million times, a great thought to think.
00:44:08.720
But I think people are tired of the ideals, and they're starting to focus on the reality.
00:44:13.480
And I feel like if that weren't the case, you wouldn't see Donald Trump at the top of the ratings right now.
00:44:20.340
If this were four years ago or eight years ago, Donald Trump wouldn't even have a fucking dog in this race.
00:44:31.520
You know, we're seeing people out there who want free school, $15 minimum wage, and all this shit, but yet can't figure out where the fuck it's going to come from.
00:44:40.180
And then when you ask them, they say, oh, we're going to tax the rich 100%.
00:44:50.680
The rich are already paying 80% of all the taxes.
00:44:57.000
Look, it's just—the point of the matter of what I'm trying to make is that people are sick of this shit.
00:45:04.560
And so I feel like, you know, they're ready to get back to America the way that America is supposed to be.
00:45:09.640
They're ready to get back to living life the way it's supposed to be.
00:45:13.260
They're ready to break out of the politically correct nonsense that we've been fed for the last 15 years.
00:45:18.860
I feel like we are ready because, like I said, if we weren't, Donald Trump wouldn't be kicking everybody's ass right now.
00:45:28.820
No, we're starting to understand ideals versus reality.
00:45:32.020
You know, I think the bottom line that we need to really talk about here is that you have to earn the right to feel good about yourself.
00:45:43.240
You don't get the accolades for just being born, which is what I think the issue with a lot of the youth is right now.
00:45:51.280
It's, you know, the popular word is entitlement, but that's what it is.
00:45:55.240
You know, I deserve the world because I'm fucking special.
00:45:59.200
And you're going to find out real quick when you get to be about 25 years old.
00:46:03.000
You know, you could coast through college, your first couple years of job, you could go work for somebody, and you're going to feel real enthusiastic.
00:46:09.000
And then you get into your third or fourth year, and you're going to be like, fuck, they don't care about me.
00:46:18.160
I don't know if you guys ever saw the documentary Waiting for Superman, but it talked about, it basically was talking about some of the failures of public education.
00:46:24.880
But I'll never forget what they say in that documentary.
00:46:27.380
It says, American school children for like the last 10 or 15 years have ranked number one in self-esteem.
00:46:35.360
And according to all the psychologists, if you feel really good about yourself, you should be successful.
00:46:40.500
Well, guess how they rank in terms of actual performance relative to other countries.
00:46:45.900
They're not last, but they're way, way down there.
00:46:51.280
So there is no direct connection between feeling good about yourself and your ability to achieve.
00:46:58.200
Your ability to achieve influences how you feel.
00:47:01.680
If you're not doing a good job, you should be told you're not doing a good job.
00:47:04.740
And you should have enough gall to be able to handle that criticism and go out and improve your performance.
00:47:10.620
You know, I've run into this in the past with salespeople.
00:47:13.140
You know, I fucking say, hey, what the fuck is going on with your numbers?
00:47:20.500
I'm trying to get you to improve so that you can progress further in life.
00:47:25.960
If you can't improve from here, what are you going to be doing in two years from now?
00:47:33.020
They go work somewhere else and they come back in a year and say, fuck, dude.
00:47:46.760
You weren't coddling them because you cared enough to hold them accountable.
00:47:53.080
And it's a real success where people hold themselves accountable.
00:47:55.460
Well, I've got a little – this is on the topic about the self-esteem item.
00:48:05.080
There's three parts to it, and it's really related to the topic of what is happiness.
00:48:17.160
Happiness or self-esteem is looking back at your past successes and being really proud of them.
00:48:23.380
You've got your failures too, but you look at those successes, and then you come to the present, number two.
00:48:30.080
You're in the present, well, if you look back and you have all these successes – I'm looking over my shoulder here – you have them, that brings happiness to you.
00:48:39.740
And then the third part is looking into the future to plan future successes.
00:48:44.300
And if you're number two and you just remain there and you just keep looking back, your happiness and self-esteem is going to plummet, not necessarily self-esteem, but it's not going to work.
00:48:52.960
So it's a constant, ongoing thing of going forward with a plan of having a success.
00:49:04.580
It's just one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three.
00:49:06.980
And looking backwards – looking backwards at your history, you look backwards at your history and don't look at failures.
00:49:14.080
It's not sitting here going, I'm happy, I'm happy.
00:49:18.880
It's the same thing because it's – where you are presently is not your success or failure.
00:49:26.640
If you're in a shitty spot right now, it's not because of what you did today or what you're doing today.
00:49:31.600
Or if you're in a great spot right now, it's not because of what you did today or what you're doing today.
00:49:35.920
It's because of the seeds that you planted six months ago or didn't plant and watered and harvested.
00:49:43.020
You got a big old dose of self-esteem, it's probably because you kicked ass for the last six months.
00:49:46.320
Yeah, but see, looking back, only lasts for a second.
00:49:52.020
Doing something now about the future, which brings the past, which is your happiness or success.
00:49:58.180
I don't know if that concept is – did that make it clear?
00:50:01.480
I mean, it's one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three.
00:50:04.200
Always, and if you stop – I'm not saying you can be unhappy, but, boy.
00:50:10.320
Hey, man, if you stop planting fucking seeds after – you're a great farmer and you keep planting seeds, you're feeding your family for 20 years, right?
00:50:18.280
What happens when you stop planting those seeds?
00:50:22.920
I like what you started to talk about just a little bit ago, Jim, and you guys should tackle this again,
00:50:27.480
is that what can you do for those who are interested in taking their level of competition even to the next level to –
00:50:34.540
what can you do to cultivate a winning attitude, a winning – just never say die, you know, do whatever you have to do.
00:50:41.720
I started to take guitar lessons when I was 30 years old, and I'm still terrible.
00:50:46.320
But it was really hard for me because I'm a competitive dude, and I want results right fucking now, all right?
00:50:53.300
So learning to play a musical instrument was one of the most humbling things that I ever did, and it required tons of patience.
00:51:00.060
And I had my guitar teacher, and he used to say, hey, man, you're not a patient dude.
00:51:04.920
You need to, like – you need to, like, work on things that will help cultivate the quality of patience with you.
00:51:13.140
And he's like, you got to do things that require patience, all right?
00:51:16.380
So the thing is, is that when you talk about being competitive, if you want to learn how to be competitive, guess what you got to do?
00:51:25.320
You got to put yourself in situations where you have to compete, all right?
00:51:29.320
And that's going to be situations that – it might be stupid things like fucking join a volleyball league
00:51:35.640
or join a fucking – whatever you're interested in.
00:51:42.160
But you've got to make competition part of your life, period.
00:51:46.700
You know, if you want to be better at patience, practice patience.
00:51:49.920
If you want to be better at competing, start competing.
00:51:55.240
I mean, you look at a fucking video game made for a 2-year-old kid.
00:52:00.380
The world's set up – like, competition is not completely weeded out of America.
00:52:05.140
I think that, you know, if you're a 20-year-old dude right now
00:52:08.560
and you're having problems caring about competition, go look at your fucking bank account
00:52:12.880
and realize that it's going to stay at $200 the rest of your life
00:52:17.140
and think about how you're going to fucking live unless you start winning, all right?
00:52:20.280
If you're a parent of a 3-year-old or a 4-year-old or a 5-year-old,
00:52:25.320
realize that you're doing them harm, not good, by telling them how great they are all the time,
00:52:31.400
how awesome they are, instead of coaching them to be better like a real parent would.
00:52:37.520
You know, like you guys out there who are always talking about free shit, you know,
00:52:44.300
You know, quit voting for people who want to fucking give you the world, you know,
00:52:51.440
You're going to put every fucking person out there in the world through college
00:52:56.120
and dilute the fucking quality of the education that people are going to get
00:53:07.200
The world needs people who are going to go out and do, you know, basic jobs too.
00:53:15.800
It's just like, you know, it's just like business.
00:53:20.480
You know, you can't just have it handed to you because it won't work.
00:53:26.540
It's the same thing we keep talking about, ideals.
00:53:29.380
You know, quit putting your kids in leagues that don't keep score.
00:53:46.560
And you've said this before, is that most of the people that listen to us,
00:53:49.560
they are committed to good standards and they're committed to just kind of
00:53:56.740
But I mean, honestly, this insanity in our country is not going to stop
00:54:00.980
until good people start standing up and saying, no more.
00:54:05.480
I think people are feeling better about standing up for that kind of stuff.
00:54:08.100
You know, you got this cooperative learning bullshit in school now
00:54:17.380
who couldn't fucking flick their booger the right direction in a group
00:54:35.040
America is, dude, if you want success, the opportunity is there.
00:54:42.320
because you're anchored down by three kids who eat their fucking boogers.
00:54:49.320
You know, quit shielding your kids from losing.
00:54:53.620
You know, let them lose and then explain to them,
00:54:55.900
like, hey, if you don't want to lose again, you got to get fucking better.
00:55:03.600
It started with some fucking soccer mom out there
00:55:07.380
because her kid couldn't fucking get on the field
00:55:10.480
because she didn't go out and play fucking soccer with them.
00:55:16.260
and teaching her kid the skills to go out and play soccer,
00:55:24.660
And that mentality comes from the laziness of their own parents
00:55:28.960
refusing to do the fucking legwork it takes to get your kid competitive
00:55:32.940
and then still want your kid to enjoy everything.
00:55:43.680
but I got to repeat it because I think it's amazing.
00:55:52.540
or no, excuse me, was cut from his junior high team.
00:55:55.160
Michael Jordan was cut from his junior high team.
00:55:58.380
He had a dad and he had an internal drive that said,
00:56:10.460
Dude, I think the most successful people on earth,
00:56:13.100
I'd be interested to hear what you have to say about this.
00:56:26.320
Dude, I think hating the fucking taste of losing
00:57:20.020
I mean, a good question that I would pose people who want everybody to be equal, want
00:57:24.800
to give prizes for everybody, is that I would want to, I would want to ask them, so if you
00:57:29.480
go in for heart surgery, which, which doctor do you want?
00:57:33.600
You want the one that was picking his boogers in fucking cooperative learning class?
00:57:37.300
The doctor who was in cooperative learning class in medical school, or the doctor who
00:57:40.920
said, I will get better grades than every person in my class.
00:57:46.840
I will be superior to every doctor in the history of the world in my particular field.
00:57:55.420
But the problem, Vaughn, is everybody knows that's a no brainer.
00:57:59.520
Even the most fucking, what do we want to call them here?
00:58:03.880
The most everybody should win mentality person knows that's a no brainer.
00:58:08.360
The problem isn't that they don't know it's a no brainer.
00:58:10.660
It's that they won't admit it's a no brainer because they want to win an argument that,
00:58:15.160
because they want to win an argument, which ultimately makes them competitive too.
00:58:19.340
So motherfuckers, you ain't even making your own point the right way.
00:58:26.420
You can't even have a fucking conversation with somebody like this because they want to
00:58:36.040
So you have a fucking person who wants to make an argument about, you know, how everybody
00:58:41.080
They won't listen to your conversation because they want to win their conversation.
00:58:50.580
It all starts out with, you know, little Johnny's not as good as these other kids, but, you
00:59:03.120
Little Johnny got the chance, Vaughn, to get on the soccer field.
00:59:10.060
It, it, it, you know, here, Johnny, here's a fucking sugar smacks for my minivan.
00:59:15.640
Um, if you would like the show notes to this episode, go to themfceo.com forward slash p29.
00:59:24.360
And there you will find the show notes as well as links to all sorts of wonderful things.
00:59:30.340
And, you know, guys, just check out our website.
00:59:32.820
You're going to learn more about Andy and the, uh, MFCEO project, and you'll find all
00:59:39.420
And eventually we're going to finish the book and we're going to finish courses and we're
01:00:01.420
You, you, you have no idea of the wrestling and fistfights and stuff through the years that
01:00:15.460
This is like when they're five years old, 10 years old.
01:00:18.740
And see, boys are not allowed to be boys anymore.
01:00:22.740
Well, everybody knows who hit the longest home runs.
01:00:27.340
I mean, Sal might've went on to play pro baseball and all that shit, but everybody knows my home
01:00:44.660
But your preferred, your preferred sport is football.
01:00:55.020
Like, why the fuck are we even talking about this?
01:01:12.040
I just don't understand how you can't fucking see that.
01:01:24.140
And understand that there are winners and there are losers.
01:01:30.280
If you want to be competitive, start doing competitive things.
01:01:33.380
If you want to be a pussy, don't do competitive things.