REAL AF with Andy Frisella - DESPERATION APPRECIATION： Why You Should Embrace Your Desperation And How To Use It To Your Advantage, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO287

00:00:00.360 I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.

00:00:04.840 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.

00:00:12.020 What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am

00:00:18.280 suffering from a super sore throat. If you're wondering why I didn't have podcasts for you

00:00:23.920 last week, I have been struggling with my voice. It's kind of hard to do a podcast when I have no

00:00:30.740 voice. I don't know what it is, man. I keep getting this little thing. I feel great, but my voice just

00:00:37.540 isn't there. Bear with me on that. I'm going to do the best I can here because I got some cool stuff

00:00:43.920 that I want to share with you today. If this is your first time listening, welcome. This is an

00:00:51.160 entrepreneurship podcast. This is a personal development podcast and it is one of the top

00:00:56.940 podcasts in the world. And the reason that it's one of the top podcasts in the world is not because

00:01:02.980 we spend millions of dollars on advertising it or shoving it down people's throat. It's because

00:01:08.540 the people who listen value the content. And I appreciate you guys sharing the show every chance

00:01:16.480 you get. You know, that's the little fee. I don't have 20 minutes of advertisements for you to listen

00:01:21.740 to, uh, which I could, but I don't. Um, I just asked that if you enjoy the content, tell a friend,

00:01:29.400 tell one friend, you don't have to tell a million friends. You don't got to brag about it on the

00:01:33.600 internet, but you know, when it comes up, like what's the good shit you're listening to, where are you 0.99

00:01:37.860 getting good, good stuff from, you know, throw me a bone. That's all I'm asking. And that's my 0.98

00:01:42.460 little fee that I asked for the show today guys is Thursday thunder. All right. And typically what

00:01:47.600 I try to do is two to three podcasts a week, usually Tuesdays, Thursdays, and sometimes Sunday

00:01:52.800 called Sunday sermon today. Uh, I've got a little hodgepodge of topics that I want to share to you,

00:01:59.400 share with you. First off, uh, something really cool happened to me today. Um, I was in the gym

00:02:05.060 working out, which is just my neighborhood gym, uh, exists fitness. I've all, I've trained there for

00:02:10.500 many, many, many years. Um, and there's a couple of guys in there that I talked to and you guys know

00:02:15.020 how it is, man. You know, you have friends at the gym that, you know, but you might not know who they

00:02:20.340 are, know their names. They're just your bros in the gym. And, um, I was talking to, uh, and I've,

00:02:26.300 I've been talking to, uh, these two guys who are always, we're always talking about cars and lifting

00:02:31.400 and all this stuff. And, um, today I got to talking to one of them and it turns out that we actually knew

00:02:40.340 each other from 20 years ago at another gym. And we had basically, you know, we've basically grown

00:02:46.660 20 years since then. So we hadn't recognized each other, which is weird because I've been talking to

00:02:52.120 this guy now for, you know, the last year in my gym and not realizing that we knew each other 20 years

00:02:58.440 ago. Um, and this is a guy, his name is Wayne and he is somebody that back whenever I was a kid

00:03:05.900 lifting weights, I wanted to be like, man, he was a strong dude, lifted heavy and went in the gym

00:03:10.680 and did his work. And today was kind of funny because we got to talking and we were somewhere

00:03:16.520 in the conversation. He's like, yeah, I used to train over at this gym. And I'm like, that's where

00:03:19.920 I used to train. I'm like, what's your name? Cause I thought he resembled that guy that, and he was

00:03:24.840 like, I'm Wayne. I'm like, dude, I know who you are. And I knew all the shit about him. But anyway,

00:03:28.560 it was just funny because we reconnected after 20 years, um, officially today, but we have been talking,

00:03:34.380 uh, for the last year. So it's just funny how things like that work out, but we got to talking

00:03:39.620 and we were talking about, uh, his son who is 20, 21 years old. And, uh, when he decided,

00:03:49.140 when he got done with high school, he decided he wanted to move to California. So he, he does, uh,

00:03:53.480 producing music beats and does music and things like that. So he moved out to California because,

00:03:58.520 uh, he wanted to create a career out there and that's where he currently is. And his name is

00:04:04.360 Gavin. And I think he's probably listening to this. So Gavin, I'm going to tell a little bit

00:04:07.800 about your story. Uh, don't freak the fuck out too much. Um, but I think this is a great story for 0.98

00:04:14.260 everybody to resonate with. And we started talking and he was telling me how, you know, uh, it's not

00:04:20.780 easy, man. You know, you go out there, shit's expensive. It's hard to meet people. It's hard to, 0.99

00:04:25.240 it's hard to do this. But what really struck me about this, um, was Wayne's perspective on it.

00:04:31.840 And he was like, look, man, he's like, I was telling him, you know, you're going to have

00:04:35.540 hangups. You're going to have things where you fall, but you have to go out and try to chase

00:04:39.440 your dreams. And I thought that was awesome, man, coming from a parent because so many parents out

00:04:46.140 there do not encourage that to happen. And what happens is, is we go out, uh, when we, we take

00:04:52.460 the realistic route and we never give a real effort to the things that we want to do, uh, because we don't

00:05:00.380 have the encouragement from the people that we trust and the people that we love. And that

00:05:05.100 ultimately, you know, creates a what if scenario, because the truth is most people don't fall into

00:05:10.860 something that, uh, is amazing and great. Most people reside themselves to an average existence

00:05:17.740 and, and then they, you know, they get to be 40, 50, 60 years old and they're like, fuck man, 0.99

00:05:22.020 I never really tried to do that. So, you know, what if I would have done that? Or what if I would 0.98

00:05:27.100 have done this? And they have these constant questions they live with. And I just want to

00:05:31.280 give a shout out to Wayne, man, for a encouraging, uh, Gavin to go out and pursue this. And I also want

00:05:37.000 to send a message to Gavin. Uh, look, dude, you're doing the part right now that everybody else is

00:05:44.740 afraid to do. All right. And that's commendable. Most people do not have the balls, do not have the

00:05:51.420 courage, do not have the fortitude to go out and chase something that they ultimately want. 0.99

00:05:57.680 You know, most people are going to go out. They're going to try something for a fucking day. 0.99

00:06:03.040 Then they're going to say, Oh, well, that's not for me. And they're going to go back home, 0.99

00:06:07.020 live with their parents. And my message to you is this dude, look, this is going to be hard.

00:06:12.900 There's going to be days you want to quit. There's going to be a million times where you're second

00:06:17.720 guessing yourself. There's going to be a million times when you're frustrated and you're angry and

00:06:23.400 you're looking at all these other dudes who are your age and they're already doing this.

00:06:27.100 And you've got to keep in mind, you are one conversation away. You are one meeting the

00:06:33.860 right person away. You're one opportunity away from getting a break. And so right now, Gavin,

00:06:40.460 you need to be focused on becoming the best that you possibly can be at your craft.

00:06:46.700 Wow. At the same time, making sure that you meet people who are connected to this industry,

00:06:53.760 because here's the thing, dude, most people think that if they meet the right person,

00:06:58.620 they're going to make it, but that's not true because most people put all the emphasis on who

00:07:05.220 they know, who they need to meet. And they try to go out there and make these connections.

00:07:09.880 But at the same time, they're not working on their skillset. And because their skillset isn't up to

00:07:15.640 what they, what they need it to be to be successful, when they meet this right person who has the

00:07:21.260 connections, who has the in, who has the ability to put you on, your skills aren't where they need

00:07:28.180 to be. And you blow that shot. So dude, this is my advice to you. Number one, keep doing what you're

00:07:34.460 doing. Number two, realize it's going to take time. Number three, use that time to your advantage

00:07:41.700 to get better and practice every fucking minute that you can at becoming great at what you do. 0.98

00:07:48.860 I'm sure you're good, but you need to get great. And four, start to network with the people that you 0.95

00:07:56.560 know can get you where you need to go. All right? Because here's the truth, man. You can make this,

00:08:04.760 you can make it happen, you can force it into existence, but you're not going to do it sitting

00:08:11.080 back wondering, you know, why does so-and-so have these opportunities I have or I don't have? Why,

00:08:17.440 why is it easier for so-and-so? Why is it this? Why is it that? Why do people have success when they're

00:08:23.380 16 and I'm fucking 21? That's all bullshit. It doesn't matter. The world is different. We have 1.00

00:08:29.820 opportunities we never had. You can't put yourself on other people's timelines. All right?

00:08:34.760 So stay with what you're doing. You're doing the right thing and it's going to work if you don't

00:08:40.280 quit. All right? And you do the things I said. Now, with that being said, I want to, I want,

00:08:47.780 it got me thinking and I, and I just came from the gym. This conversation just happened not even an

00:08:52.900 hour ago. And it got me thinking about what I wanted to talk to you guys about today and what I

00:08:59.800 really wanted to like the message that I wanted to lay out for you guys. Um, you know, and all day

00:09:05.440 long, I get emails that say basically the same thing. And they'll say, Andy, I want to do this,

00:09:13.540 but I don't have the resources I need to succeed. I don't have the money I need to succeed. I don't

00:09:19.060 have the investors. I don't have the connections. I don't have rich parents. I don't have this or that

00:09:24.100 or whatever it might be. And when I read these emails, I automatically know this person doesn't

00:09:31.660 fucking get it. They might get it at some point, but the reality is they probably aren't ever going 0.93

00:09:38.160 to get it. Okay. They're always going to fall short. They're always going to be on the losing end.

00:09:43.500 They're never going to build the life they want. And they're never going to cultivate that winning

00:09:49.280 character trait because at the end of the day, they don't understand what winners understand.

00:09:55.460 They don't realize that the lack of advantage, the lack of options and the lack of resources

00:10:02.140 is actually a winner's greatest asset. Let me give you an example. Okay. Back from my early days in

00:10:10.360 business, when Chris and I started out in business, all right, we didn't have investors. We didn't have any

00:10:17.320 money. We didn't have a trust fund. We didn't have cash to fall back on. We didn't have a job to fall

00:10:23.800 back on. We didn't have parents that were going to bail us out. We knew we had to go out and we had

00:10:30.080 to fucking earn every single cent and every single opportunity, every tiny little sale, every ounce of 0.97

00:10:39.440 growth, every little piece of this business, we were going to have to earn the hard way. And you know 0.99

00:10:47.140 what? I was bitter about that. I didn't like that. When I was young, I wanted the easy route.

00:10:54.660 You know, back then we didn't have the internet. The internet wasn't around. So we had to go door

00:10:58.660 to door to meet people and do shit and create opportunities for ourselves. People don't even 0.98

00:11:04.800 think about doing that anymore. They just want to get the quick route. Okay. But that's what we had

00:11:09.820 to do to gather business. We had to go door to door, shake hands. Hey, what's up? I'm Andy. I own

00:11:14.900 supplements, super stores. We're down the road. This is what we do. If you ever need us, we're

00:11:19.440 here. Okay. And I did that a trillion, billion, million, whatever fucking times. Okay. As much

00:11:26.480 as it took. All right. I knew if we were going to succeed, that's what we had to do. We did

00:11:33.620 not have a choice. Let me repeat that for you. So you understand it. We didn't have a choice.

00:11:42.340 We had zero options. We had no other way to get where we wanted to go than to pull ideas

00:11:50.400 literally out of thin air, jerry-rigged solutions and work as hard as we fucking could to force 0.90

00:11:58.460 things into existence. What else were we going to do? There was nothing else we could do. 0.90

00:12:05.940 Okay. It was either do that or fucking fail. And failing wasn't something that either of 1.00

00:12:13.460 us were ever willing to accept. Now, did we want to quit sometimes? Yeah. Did we get angry

00:12:21.520 sometimes? Yeah. Did we get frustrated every fucking day? Did people laugh at us all the

00:12:28.540 time? So what? It doesn't matter. We understood that if shit was going to happen, we had to

00:12:36.780 make it happen. Okay. That's how all great businesses start. And here's what you have to 0.99

00:12:44.560 understand. And this is something that people who come from literally nothing and build great

00:12:50.760 shit understand, but they don't understand it until they're on the back end of success. Because 0.98

00:12:57.640 having zero resources is the best fucking thing that could have ever happened to us. Okay. It was from 0.99

00:13:06.640 having literally nothing that we learned to develop everything we needed to accomplish anything in

00:13:13.580 business and in life. Okay. Having nothing created the skillset. It was from having no other options

00:13:22.020 that we learned to make every conceivable situation work in our favor. And today, guess what? We go up

00:13:30.300 against companies in our industry that have way more money than us. They have much deeper pockets.

00:13:36.060 They have every reason to literally stomp the shit out of us. And guess what happens? We fucking 0.99

00:13:42.320 destroy them. And you know why? Because over time we learned to value resourcefulness over our 1.00

00:13:50.480 resources. Let me explain what that means. Okay. We learned that we didn't have to have the tools

00:13:56.540 that everybody else had because we developed talents to make up for it and executed our plans

00:14:02.360 with tenacity. All right. We had urgency and guess what? We had to get creative. And because we had to get

00:14:10.180 creative and our skills got better and sharper and more advanced, we raised our standards of effort and

00:14:16.780 excellence higher and higher. And guess what happens? When everybody else is relying on money to fix the

00:14:23.720 problem, we're able to rely on our grit, our endurance, our perseverance, our resourcefulness, and yes,

00:14:30.460 our creativity to beat the other guy. Okay. And let me explain this in practical terms. If you have a

00:14:37.600 company and you won't realize this when you're starting out, if you're competing against people

00:14:43.260 who have unlimited resources, they are always going to lean on their resources to get them out of

00:14:48.160 trouble. If you're competing against someone who doesn't have a lot of resources, those are the

00:14:52.860 motherfuckers that you have to watch out for long-term because those are the guys who are going to learn 0.99

00:14:57.820 to have sharp skills and get by with things other than just money, which means 20 years from now, 0.99

00:15:05.260 that guy is going to have a lot more skills than the guy who gets financed with an unlimited bank

00:15:11.240 role. And guess who's going to win when it comes down to it? It's going to be the guy who has the

00:15:16.320 fucking skills. So what I'm trying to get you to understand here is that you not having the 0.99

00:15:22.800 connections, you not having the resources, you not having the money, you not having the opportunity 0.98

00:15:29.380 is a great thing because it's going to teach you how to be a fucking weapon in battle when it comes 0.92

00:15:38.440 down to it five, 10 years from now. All right. But you can't see that in the beginning. I didn't see 0.99

00:15:45.340 it. All right. But here's the thing. It will happen. True winners understand that what drives improvement

00:15:54.160 the most is a sense of desperation. The best ideas, the most valuable skills, the highest standards

00:16:02.720 come when you literally have no fucking choice, when it's do or die and your backs against the wall 0.90

00:16:10.700 and having no resources, having zero other options is what forces you to get better. It's what drives you 0.97

00:16:19.120 to become the best and equips you with the tools you need to succeed long-term. This is why winners

00:16:27.160 love it when they lack resources and their backs against the wall. They love when there's no other

00:16:33.600 options because it forces action. If you don't understand that and embrace that, you do not have

00:16:40.420 the mindset of a winner and you're also missing a critical point. Having tons of options and assets

00:16:46.760 is actually a liability because like I said before, the people with lots of resources end up relying on

00:16:54.640 those resources rather than developing and improving their skillset within themselves. They rely on what

00:17:01.220 they have rather than who they are and what they can do with who they are. That's why they end up losing

00:17:08.100 because they're missing a critical component. Your skills, your weapons, the things that are going to make

00:17:14.820 you win long-term are going to be the things that are within you. That way, if you ever lose your

00:17:21.520 money or you lose your business or you lose whatever it is you have, you're going to still possess those 0.95

00:17:26.980 skills which make you fucking valuable. All right? Look into it and you'll see there are many, many 0.93

00:17:33.620 instances throughout history where a ragtag band of desperate people kicked the living shit out of a 1.00

00:17:41.400 well-funded adversary with loads and loads and loads of unlimited resources. It happens all the

00:17:47.440 time in sports. It happens all the time in business and it happens all the time in war. Okay? And guess

00:17:53.500 what else that happens all the time in life? When you don't have the money for marketing, when you don't

00:17:58.780 have the latest weight machines or weight equipment, when you don't have an unlimited supply of guns and

00:18:05.380 bombs, you have to come up with good ideas. You've got to strategize properly and you have to become a

00:18:11.840 true expert at what you do. And most importantly, guess what? You got to learn your shit and not just

00:18:18.620 learn it, but master it so that you can become the person who's dominant in your place of business. 1.00

00:18:26.520 That's what having zero options forces you to do. It forces you to become the master. It forces you

00:18:36.340 to become the guy with the sharpest skills. It forces you to become the most knowledgeable and it forces

00:18:44.580 you to become equipped for the journey. All right? And those other guys, the guys with the money,

00:18:52.020 the guys with the resources, the guys with the connections, they're never going to fucking have 0.98

00:18:56.960 that. A lot of you young bucks have to understand that you need to embrace the sense of desperation. 0.94

00:19:05.520 And guess what? A lot of you experienced people, you people who are making decent money and you're

00:19:11.500 living a comfortable life. You've got to figure out how to create a sense of desperation because right

00:19:19.040 now you might've made a few bucks. You might drive a nice car. You might live in a decent house,

00:19:24.180 but you're comfortable and you don't feel that desperation and you don't feel that heat and you 0.99

00:19:29.460 don't feel that fucking fire. And guess what happens to you? You're going to fucking lose because you're 0.99

00:19:34.340 going to get beat with someone who has it. All right? You have to understand creating a sense of 1.00

00:19:40.340 desperation is just as important as having it. Right? And at the end of the day, a lack of resources

00:19:46.280 is the ultimate and completely necessary teacher of success. Having nothing is how you develop

00:19:55.100 everything you need to accomplish anything. Having no other option is how you're going to learn to make

00:20:02.840 every conceivable situation work in your benefit. And the bottom line is this necessity just isn't

00:20:11.040 the mother of creativity. Like a lot of people will say it's the mother of fucking winning. So 0.97

00:20:17.300 appreciate and work with the fact that you don't have the resources. Consider that your greatest asset

00:20:23.840 because it is embrace that sense of desperation, make it work for you. And that desperation is going

00:20:31.700 to lead to domination.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 21, 2019

DESPERATION APPRECIATION： Why You Should Embrace Your Desperation And How To Use It To Your Advantage, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO287

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