DESPERATION APPRECIATION： Why You Should Embrace Your Desperation And How To Use It To Your Advantage, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO287
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
173.47171
Summary
In this episode of the MFCEO Project, I talk about how I reconnected with a guy I used to go to high school with 20 years ago, and how he is now 21 years old. I also talk about a story I had with a friend of mine that I have been friends with for 20 years.
Transcript
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I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.
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Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.
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What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am
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suffering from a super sore throat. If you're wondering why I didn't have podcasts for you
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last week, I have been struggling with my voice. It's kind of hard to do a podcast when I have no
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voice. I don't know what it is, man. I keep getting this little thing. I feel great, but my voice just
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isn't there. Bear with me on that. I'm going to do the best I can here because I got some cool stuff
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that I want to share with you today. If this is your first time listening, welcome. This is an
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entrepreneurship podcast. This is a personal development podcast and it is one of the top
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podcasts in the world. And the reason that it's one of the top podcasts in the world is not because
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we spend millions of dollars on advertising it or shoving it down people's throat. It's because
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the people who listen value the content. And I appreciate you guys sharing the show every chance
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you get. You know, that's the little fee. I don't have 20 minutes of advertisements for you to listen
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to, uh, which I could, but I don't. Um, I just asked that if you enjoy the content, tell a friend,
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tell one friend, you don't have to tell a million friends. You don't got to brag about it on the
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internet, but you know, when it comes up, like what's the good shit you're listening to, where are you
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getting good, good stuff from, you know, throw me a bone. That's all I'm asking. And that's my
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little fee that I asked for the show today guys is Thursday thunder. All right. And typically what
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I try to do is two to three podcasts a week, usually Tuesdays, Thursdays, and sometimes Sunday
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called Sunday sermon today. Uh, I've got a little hodgepodge of topics that I want to share to you,
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share with you. First off, uh, something really cool happened to me today. Um, I was in the gym
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working out, which is just my neighborhood gym, uh, exists fitness. I've all, I've trained there for
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many, many, many years. Um, and there's a couple of guys in there that I talked to and you guys know
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how it is, man. You know, you have friends at the gym that, you know, but you might not know who they
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are, know their names. They're just your bros in the gym. And, um, I was talking to, uh, and I've,
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I've been talking to, uh, these two guys who are always, we're always talking about cars and lifting
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and all this stuff. And, um, today I got to talking to one of them and it turns out that we actually knew
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each other from 20 years ago at another gym. And we had basically, you know, we've basically grown
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20 years since then. So we hadn't recognized each other, which is weird because I've been talking to
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this guy now for, you know, the last year in my gym and not realizing that we knew each other 20 years
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ago. Um, and this is a guy, his name is Wayne and he is somebody that back whenever I was a kid
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lifting weights, I wanted to be like, man, he was a strong dude, lifted heavy and went in the gym
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and did his work. And today was kind of funny because we got to talking and we were somewhere
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in the conversation. He's like, yeah, I used to train over at this gym. And I'm like, that's where
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I used to train. I'm like, what's your name? Cause I thought he resembled that guy that, and he was
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like, I'm Wayne. I'm like, dude, I know who you are. And I knew all the shit about him. But anyway,
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it was just funny because we reconnected after 20 years, um, officially today, but we have been talking,
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uh, for the last year. So it's just funny how things like that work out, but we got to talking
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and we were talking about, uh, his son who is 20, 21 years old. And, uh, when he decided,
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when he got done with high school, he decided he wanted to move to California. So he, he does, uh,
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producing music beats and does music and things like that. So he moved out to California because,
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uh, he wanted to create a career out there and that's where he currently is. And his name is
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Gavin. And I think he's probably listening to this. So Gavin, I'm going to tell a little bit
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about your story. Uh, don't freak the fuck out too much. Um, but I think this is a great story for
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everybody to resonate with. And we started talking and he was telling me how, you know, uh, it's not
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easy, man. You know, you go out there, shit's expensive. It's hard to meet people. It's hard to,
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it's hard to do this. But what really struck me about this, um, was Wayne's perspective on it.
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And he was like, look, man, he's like, I was telling him, you know, you're going to have
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hangups. You're going to have things where you fall, but you have to go out and try to chase
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your dreams. And I thought that was awesome, man, coming from a parent because so many parents out
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there do not encourage that to happen. And what happens is, is we go out, uh, when we, we take
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the realistic route and we never give a real effort to the things that we want to do, uh, because we don't
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have the encouragement from the people that we trust and the people that we love. And that
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ultimately, you know, creates a what if scenario, because the truth is most people don't fall into
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something that, uh, is amazing and great. Most people reside themselves to an average existence
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and, and then they, you know, they get to be 40, 50, 60 years old and they're like, fuck man,
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I never really tried to do that. So, you know, what if I would have done that? Or what if I would
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have done this? And they have these constant questions they live with. And I just want to
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give a shout out to Wayne, man, for a encouraging, uh, Gavin to go out and pursue this. And I also want
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to send a message to Gavin. Uh, look, dude, you're doing the part right now that everybody else is
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afraid to do. All right. And that's commendable. Most people do not have the balls, do not have the
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courage, do not have the fortitude to go out and chase something that they ultimately want.
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You know, most people are going to go out. They're going to try something for a fucking day.
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Then they're going to say, Oh, well, that's not for me. And they're going to go back home,
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live with their parents. And my message to you is this dude, look, this is going to be hard.
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There's going to be days you want to quit. There's going to be a million times where you're second
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guessing yourself. There's going to be a million times when you're frustrated and you're angry and
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you're looking at all these other dudes who are your age and they're already doing this.
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And you've got to keep in mind, you are one conversation away. You are one meeting the
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right person away. You're one opportunity away from getting a break. And so right now, Gavin,
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you need to be focused on becoming the best that you possibly can be at your craft.
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Wow. At the same time, making sure that you meet people who are connected to this industry,
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because here's the thing, dude, most people think that if they meet the right person,
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they're going to make it, but that's not true because most people put all the emphasis on who
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they know, who they need to meet. And they try to go out there and make these connections.
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But at the same time, they're not working on their skillset. And because their skillset isn't up to
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what they, what they need it to be to be successful, when they meet this right person who has the
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connections, who has the in, who has the ability to put you on, your skills aren't where they need
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to be. And you blow that shot. So dude, this is my advice to you. Number one, keep doing what you're
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doing. Number two, realize it's going to take time. Number three, use that time to your advantage
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to get better and practice every fucking minute that you can at becoming great at what you do.
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I'm sure you're good, but you need to get great. And four, start to network with the people that you
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know can get you where you need to go. All right? Because here's the truth, man. You can make this,
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you can make it happen, you can force it into existence, but you're not going to do it sitting
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back wondering, you know, why does so-and-so have these opportunities I have or I don't have? Why,
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why is it easier for so-and-so? Why is it this? Why is it that? Why do people have success when they're
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16 and I'm fucking 21? That's all bullshit. It doesn't matter. The world is different. We have
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opportunities we never had. You can't put yourself on other people's timelines. All right?
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So stay with what you're doing. You're doing the right thing and it's going to work if you don't
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quit. All right? And you do the things I said. Now, with that being said, I want to, I want,
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it got me thinking and I, and I just came from the gym. This conversation just happened not even an
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hour ago. And it got me thinking about what I wanted to talk to you guys about today and what I
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really wanted to like the message that I wanted to lay out for you guys. Um, you know, and all day
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long, I get emails that say basically the same thing. And they'll say, Andy, I want to do this,
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but I don't have the resources I need to succeed. I don't have the money I need to succeed. I don't
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have the investors. I don't have the connections. I don't have rich parents. I don't have this or that
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or whatever it might be. And when I read these emails, I automatically know this person doesn't
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fucking get it. They might get it at some point, but the reality is they probably aren't ever going
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to get it. Okay. They're always going to fall short. They're always going to be on the losing end.
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They're never going to build the life they want. And they're never going to cultivate that winning
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character trait because at the end of the day, they don't understand what winners understand.
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They don't realize that the lack of advantage, the lack of options and the lack of resources
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is actually a winner's greatest asset. Let me give you an example. Okay. Back from my early days in
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business, when Chris and I started out in business, all right, we didn't have investors. We didn't have any
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money. We didn't have a trust fund. We didn't have cash to fall back on. We didn't have a job to fall
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back on. We didn't have parents that were going to bail us out. We knew we had to go out and we had
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to fucking earn every single cent and every single opportunity, every tiny little sale, every ounce of
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growth, every little piece of this business, we were going to have to earn the hard way. And you know
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what? I was bitter about that. I didn't like that. When I was young, I wanted the easy route.
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You know, back then we didn't have the internet. The internet wasn't around. So we had to go door
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to door to meet people and do shit and create opportunities for ourselves. People don't even
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think about doing that anymore. They just want to get the quick route. Okay. But that's what we had
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to do to gather business. We had to go door to door, shake hands. Hey, what's up? I'm Andy. I own
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supplements, super stores. We're down the road. This is what we do. If you ever need us, we're
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here. Okay. And I did that a trillion, billion, million, whatever fucking times. Okay. As much
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as it took. All right. I knew if we were going to succeed, that's what we had to do. We did
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not have a choice. Let me repeat that for you. So you understand it. We didn't have a choice.
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We had zero options. We had no other way to get where we wanted to go than to pull ideas
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literally out of thin air, jerry-rigged solutions and work as hard as we fucking could to force
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things into existence. What else were we going to do? There was nothing else we could do.
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Okay. It was either do that or fucking fail. And failing wasn't something that either of
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us were ever willing to accept. Now, did we want to quit sometimes? Yeah. Did we get angry
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sometimes? Yeah. Did we get frustrated every fucking day? Did people laugh at us all the
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time? So what? It doesn't matter. We understood that if shit was going to happen, we had to
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make it happen. Okay. That's how all great businesses start. And here's what you have to
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understand. And this is something that people who come from literally nothing and build great
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shit understand, but they don't understand it until they're on the back end of success. Because
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having zero resources is the best fucking thing that could have ever happened to us. Okay. It was from
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having literally nothing that we learned to develop everything we needed to accomplish anything in
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business and in life. Okay. Having nothing created the skillset. It was from having no other options
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that we learned to make every conceivable situation work in our favor. And today, guess what? We go up
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against companies in our industry that have way more money than us. They have much deeper pockets.
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They have every reason to literally stomp the shit out of us. And guess what happens? We fucking
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destroy them. And you know why? Because over time we learned to value resourcefulness over our
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resources. Let me explain what that means. Okay. We learned that we didn't have to have the tools
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that everybody else had because we developed talents to make up for it and executed our plans
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with tenacity. All right. We had urgency and guess what? We had to get creative. And because we had to get
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creative and our skills got better and sharper and more advanced, we raised our standards of effort and
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excellence higher and higher. And guess what happens? When everybody else is relying on money to fix the
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problem, we're able to rely on our grit, our endurance, our perseverance, our resourcefulness, and yes,
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our creativity to beat the other guy. Okay. And let me explain this in practical terms. If you have a
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company and you won't realize this when you're starting out, if you're competing against people
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who have unlimited resources, they are always going to lean on their resources to get them out of
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trouble. If you're competing against someone who doesn't have a lot of resources, those are the
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motherfuckers that you have to watch out for long-term because those are the guys who are going to learn
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to have sharp skills and get by with things other than just money, which means 20 years from now,
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that guy is going to have a lot more skills than the guy who gets financed with an unlimited bank
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role. And guess who's going to win when it comes down to it? It's going to be the guy who has the
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fucking skills. So what I'm trying to get you to understand here is that you not having the
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connections, you not having the resources, you not having the money, you not having the opportunity
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is a great thing because it's going to teach you how to be a fucking weapon in battle when it comes
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down to it five, 10 years from now. All right. But you can't see that in the beginning. I didn't see
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it. All right. But here's the thing. It will happen. True winners understand that what drives improvement
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the most is a sense of desperation. The best ideas, the most valuable skills, the highest standards
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come when you literally have no fucking choice, when it's do or die and your backs against the wall
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and having no resources, having zero other options is what forces you to get better. It's what drives you
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to become the best and equips you with the tools you need to succeed long-term. This is why winners
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love it when they lack resources and their backs against the wall. They love when there's no other
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options because it forces action. If you don't understand that and embrace that, you do not have
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the mindset of a winner and you're also missing a critical point. Having tons of options and assets
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is actually a liability because like I said before, the people with lots of resources end up relying on
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those resources rather than developing and improving their skillset within themselves. They rely on what
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they have rather than who they are and what they can do with who they are. That's why they end up losing
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because they're missing a critical component. Your skills, your weapons, the things that are going to make
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you win long-term are going to be the things that are within you. That way, if you ever lose your
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money or you lose your business or you lose whatever it is you have, you're going to still possess those
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skills which make you fucking valuable. All right? Look into it and you'll see there are many, many
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instances throughout history where a ragtag band of desperate people kicked the living shit out of a
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well-funded adversary with loads and loads and loads of unlimited resources. It happens all the
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time in sports. It happens all the time in business and it happens all the time in war. Okay? And guess
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what else that happens all the time in life? When you don't have the money for marketing, when you don't
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have the latest weight machines or weight equipment, when you don't have an unlimited supply of guns and
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bombs, you have to come up with good ideas. You've got to strategize properly and you have to become a
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true expert at what you do. And most importantly, guess what? You got to learn your shit and not just
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learn it, but master it so that you can become the person who's dominant in your place of business.
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That's what having zero options forces you to do. It forces you to become the master. It forces you
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to become the guy with the sharpest skills. It forces you to become the most knowledgeable and it forces
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you to become equipped for the journey. All right? And those other guys, the guys with the money,
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the guys with the resources, the guys with the connections, they're never going to fucking have
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that. A lot of you young bucks have to understand that you need to embrace the sense of desperation.
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And guess what? A lot of you experienced people, you people who are making decent money and you're
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living a comfortable life. You've got to figure out how to create a sense of desperation because right
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now you might've made a few bucks. You might drive a nice car. You might live in a decent house,
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but you're comfortable and you don't feel that desperation and you don't feel that heat and you
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don't feel that fucking fire. And guess what happens to you? You're going to fucking lose because you're
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going to get beat with someone who has it. All right? You have to understand creating a sense of
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desperation is just as important as having it. Right? And at the end of the day, a lack of resources
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is the ultimate and completely necessary teacher of success. Having nothing is how you develop
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everything you need to accomplish anything. Having no other option is how you're going to learn to make
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every conceivable situation work in your benefit. And the bottom line is this necessity just isn't
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the mother of creativity. Like a lot of people will say it's the mother of fucking winning. So
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appreciate and work with the fact that you don't have the resources. Consider that your greatest asset
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because it is embrace that sense of desperation, make it work for you. And that desperation is going