Drop the Anchor, Get a Propeller (Relationships for Entrepreneurs), with Andy Frisella - MFCEO150
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of The Momfucking CeeOo Project, Andy answers a question that has been on her mind a lot lately and it has to do with relationships. She explains why it s important to understand what a relationship is about and why you need to put a lot of emphasis on what you re supposed to be in a relationship.
Transcript
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what is up guys you're listening to the mf ceo project i'm andy i'm your host and i am the
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motherfucking ceo guys today is thursday thunder and i've got something that i really uh want to
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address with you guys and i think it's very very very important that you listen because it affects
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everybody okay um it's called genital itching no i'm just kidding i do have something that is
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very important um i get this question a lot guys and now you know we're starting to do the uh
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the frisella factor we're taping shows uh taping we're recording shows um so that we have a bank
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of shows to post and people are submitting questions through ask the mf ceo.com and
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literally probably 10 of the questions are this and i'm just going to answer it for everybody and i
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think it's it's applicable to all of us at some point in time or another um and it has to do with
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relationships okay uh i see so many young entrepreneurs guys who are working hard um
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girls who are working hard and they're writing in and they're saying you know andy i'm i feel like
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i'm doing the right thing i'm working my ass off i'm trying to better myself i know in my heart that
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i'm going to be successful but i'm in a relationship and and the you know i don't get any support uh
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i get yelled at for working too much uh you know they just don't understand my situation they don't
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understand you know uh what i'm trying to do and we get in fights about it all the time and this and
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this is what do you think i should do and i want to answer that question normally i would be a kind
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of a smart ass and say oh you should fucking dump them but i think this is a serious issue and i want
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to be somewhat serious about it you know and i want to explain my my thought process here guys um
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sometimes when you care about someone sometimes when you love someone uh or you're in a relationship
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with someone um it that's not enough okay feeling a certain way about them or being attracted to
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them or uh you know feeling like you're quote unquote in love with them everybody likes to put
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that at the front of the line of what's most important but and it is it is important i'm not
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saying it's not but i'm saying everybody likes to say that that's what matters and that's what's
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important and that's the most important thing because it makes them feel like a good person
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so i want to i want to explain my thought process here with you guys you guys have to understand that
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being in a relationship is about two people who believe in the same things okay eventually after
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a course of time you know when you first get in a relationship and you know you're horny all the
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time and you're fucking all the time and you're you're attracted all the time you're doing all this
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shit all the time eventually that's going to get old okay and a lot of people confuse infatuation
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for love all right and because of that they alter or change their life decisions based upon
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those feelings of infatuation and they don't really understand what love is and so i want to try to
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like communicate to you guys how important this is to understand because it can affect your life
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and here's the facts i'm always going to be honest with you the facts are this you were born alone and
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you're going to fucking die alone and you need to take real strong close accurate inventory of where
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you're going to be in the next five or ten years when you're making a decision about a relationship
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now okay it's not about how big the girl's boobies are or how big the dude's schlong is and you know
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all this sex shit and like how you know how good they look on instagram or how popular they are and
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all this other shit you need to think about five years ten years down the road and you need to put
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put a big big emphasis on what this person that you're supposed to be with what their value system
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is in terms of what they see happening in their lives okay and a lot of times guys people will
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have these infatuation feelings they'll have these love feelings they'll have uh you know they'll be in a
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relationship and the person who they're with doesn't support what they do because a they don't
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understand it and b they don't value the end result okay for example i have a friend right now who's
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having some relationship problems and and and to be honest i've had these same problems with other
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with other girls before i was married um and my friend you know he's working hard to build a career
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he's working his ass off and his partner that he's in a relationship with is bitching at him
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all day about how much how hard he works uh that he's never around and that he's putting too much
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energy and that he's greedy and then all he wants is money and this and this and this when in reality
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all this guy's doing is trying to improve the situation for both of them understanding that it's going to
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take time and guys because entrepreneurship and being successful in general requires so much time
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not a lot of people understand it because it doesn't fit into society's norm and having problems
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like this in a relationship are very common um you know sometimes you can work through them sometimes
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you can have legit conversations and get the person to see your point of view sometimes you can't
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and it's when you when you can't get someone to like see what you're trying to do and they
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consistently nag you consistently bust your balls consistently make it harder for you to succeed
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that's when you've got a decision to make and that decision is this are you going to keep going on the
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path you're on and fight this battle when success is a fucking battle in itself okay and i'm going to
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argue that if you do choose that you're not going to be successful because you only have so much energy
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to spend on success in a day whether you work for someone on your own company whatever it is
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and if you spend half of that energy arguing with the person that's supposed to be your biggest
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supporter you're not going to have the energy it takes to do what you need to do okay and the other
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decision is you you break up with them and uh i want to i want to talk about that for a second you
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know a lot of you guys when you break up with someone you like to put blame on them and you like to
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like say it's their fault and you like to you know people like to say oh well it was this person's
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fault for thinking this way it's this person's fault for thinking the way that i don't think and you know
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what they're a loser and you know and then the loser person saying well that guy's just greedy and only
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cares about money and blah blah blah here look that shit's irrelevant okay you guys natures as human
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beings don't go together all right your your beliefs your values what you're trying to do in
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your life doesn't go together and that's okay okay but you have to be able to recognize that ahead of
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time when you're having these kind of issues is this person salvageable can they get on my page and
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support me or are they always going to be an anchor in my boat and if they're always going to be an
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anchor boat you got to cut the fucking anchors loose that's just the reality of the situation
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and so many of you guys put so much value in these in these meaningless relationships okay uh and and
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you know some people like what do you mean it's meaningless well like dude growing up when you're
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20 years old you're going to have four or five quote-unquote relationships before you're 30 years
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old most likely and you know if you're trying to like build your life based upon what every single
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one of them thinks if every single one of them thinks differently about how you should build your
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life you're not going to build anything because you're always going in a different direction every
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two or three years so you have to be you know mindful of your own path and mindful of your own
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direction when it comes to relationships and you have to try to find someone who has the same values
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and same ambitions and same drive that you have or at least understands how to support that you know
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I was very fortunate because my wife her dad was a hard-working entrepreneur and he was you know
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we had to work really really hard to provide for them that's what she grew up around that's what
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she saw and because of that you know I'm able to do the things I need to do without getting a bunch
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of shit now you know the girl I dated before that it was the opposite you know her dad had a regular
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job he didn't work you know a hundred hours a fucking week every week you know he wasn't up until
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one or two in the morning every night working uh you know and because she never witnessed those
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things she didn't understand why I did those things that doesn't make her wrong it just makes
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her different than what I need and you guys have to start looking at like that um you know if you
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have someone who's bitching at you guys you know who's saying oh you know you fucking work work work
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or always always has something to complain about you've got to realize that those people that complain
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like that they're going to have something to complain about no matter what so you can either choose
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to get bitched at because you're broke and you're around the house all day and you spend time with
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that person or you can get bitched at because you're working your ass off to build a future
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you know but either way you're going to get fucking bitched at so it's your choice of what you want to
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deal with and I can tell you this the right choice is going to be the one where you're going to be
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better off in the next five years you know because if they're bitching at you for this eventually
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they're going to leave you for that and if they're going to leave you for being broke or they're going to
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leave you for being a hard worker that's trying to make money which one would you rather have
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you know which one's going to put you in a better situation which one's going to keep you on the
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right path and you guys have to consider that you can't just keep changing your value system based
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around these these relationships that are a natural part of life you know part of being in a relationship
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guys is learning what you don't want through having it you know not every relationship is perfect and
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most aren't and you need to pay attention just like you would pay attention in business
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and learn from your mistakes you need to do the same in the in the relationship round too you know
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in that area of your life you've got to be able to to look at something and say you know what this
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person doesn't see what I'm trying to do they don't get what I'm trying to do they don't gonna
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they aren't going to understand it it's going to make things really difficult for me I'm going to
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try to move on now while I can before it gets complicated like you know having a kid or getting married or
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marrying the wrong person those things are fucking devastating to your chances of becoming successful
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and I know there's people listening right now well love is more important than money you know I agree
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with that but but without money and without a career path and without all this this other shit there's
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not going to be love because you're going to be fighting over money you know one of the biggest
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reasons of divorce one of the biggest reasons of breakups is lack of money it's not the it's not the
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abundance of money you know poor people will try to tell you oh your fucking money ruins
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relationships uh no it doesn't the biggest reason of divorce is fucking money and you have to be able
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to understand that you need money and somebody who doesn't understand that you need money is not
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probably not a good partner um but guys you know I I just get this question so much I just kind of
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wanted to give you my take on it you know if you don't have the right person if you don't have the right
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partner if you know relationships are not supposed to be about an anchor they're supposed to be about a
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propeller and you've got to understand that like having a propeller on your boat versus having an
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anchor it doesn't make you know a little bit of difference it makes a lot of difference and guys
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I would highly encourage you to take uh you know inventory of where you're spending your energy are
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you spending it all on trying to move forward you know if you're let's say you're less than 30
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are you spending it on bettering your life or are you spending it fighting with someone because
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you're bettering you're trying to better your life because you're spending it fighting with
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someone because you're trying to better your life you're not going to get any fucking better
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all right start looking and paying attention and auditing your personal relationships because
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they're a big part of of where you're going to end up you know and so many people and I see it in my
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business all the time spend so much time with the wrong people and take so much energy and spend it on
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the wrong people when they could be spending on working towards a career for themselves working
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on bettering themselves which is ultimately going to put their family their future family that doesn't
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even exist yet in a better spot and guys I would encourage you to think like that too you know I
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don't have kids I have a wife I have dogs um you know obviously we're doing okay but you know since
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I was 17 18 years old I've always thought you know one day I'm gonna have to have a family and
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like I did all this work this work that I've done for the last 18 years I did that for my future
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family you know so I I was already pretending I had a family even though I didn't because that helped
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me stay motivated and driven towards being successful and finding the right path and guys you know we're
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all gonna have challenges in relationships I'm not saying it should be easy but it certainly shouldn't
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be a fucking anchor in your boat it shouldn't be holding you back and it shouldn't be a roadblock that
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you have to plow through every time you come home from working an extra hour or two or explain
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yourself as if you were out at the bar drinking with your buddies no motherfucker I'm trying to
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work I'm trying to get better I'm trying to improve and you know what guys there's nothing
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wrong with that you know that's another point a lot of times the people who will bitch at you and
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complain about you working so much will will try to make it feel like there's something wrong with
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you there's nothing wrong with you there's nothing wrong with you but there's also nothing wrong
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with them that's the point you just have to have an adult conversation say hey look I want this out
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of my life you want this out of your life and if that's not going to change I'm not going to change
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and you know if we're not going to change then we shouldn't spend any more time going down this path
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and arguing with each other because it's making us both miserable and if you have an adult
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conversation like that you know you can move on and still be friends there's no reason to hate
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there's no reason to blame there's no reason to like you know fault people it's just it's just the
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way it is it's just the way it is so start looking at relationships for what they are not you not what
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you want them to be or what their potential could be start looking at them for what they are and where
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you're going to be five years from now and you're going to have a much easier time answering that
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question for yourself what do I do when someone doesn't support me