REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 01, 2017


Drop the Anchor, Get a Propeller (Relationships for Entrepreneurs), with Andy Frisella - MFCEO150

Topics
relationships
Hosted by
Andy Frisella
The Reality of Money, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO149 Why Excellence Is Everything, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO151

Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

193.73

Word count

2,956

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Toxicity

45

sentences flagged

Hate speech

17

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of The Momfucking CeeOo Project, Andy answers a question that has been on her mind a lot lately and it has to do with relationships. She explains why it s important to understand what a relationship is about and why you need to put a lot of emphasis on what you re supposed to be in a relationship.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 what is up guys you're listening to the mf ceo project i'm andy i'm your host and i am the 0.78
00:00:11.540 motherfucking ceo guys today is thursday thunder and i've got something that i really uh want to 0.84
00:00:18.020 address with you guys and i think it's very very very important that you listen because it affects 0.98
00:00:23.040 everybody okay um it's called genital itching no i'm just kidding i do have something that is
00:00:30.680 very important um i get this question a lot guys and now you know we're starting to do the uh
00:00:36.900 the frisella factor we're taping shows uh taping we're recording shows um so that we have a bank
00:00:44.620 of shows to post and people are submitting questions through ask the mf ceo.com and
00:00:52.700 literally probably 10 of the questions are this and i'm just going to answer it for everybody and i
00:00:59.120 think it's it's applicable to all of us at some point in time or another um and it has to do with
00:01:05.640 relationships okay uh i see so many young entrepreneurs guys who are working hard um
00:01:12.900 girls who are working hard and they're writing in and they're saying you know andy i'm i feel like
00:01:20.160 i'm doing the right thing i'm working my ass off i'm trying to better myself i know in my heart that
00:01:27.060 i'm going to be successful but i'm in a relationship and and the you know i don't get any support uh
00:01:34.940 i get yelled at for working too much uh you know they just don't understand my situation they don't
00:01:42.280 understand you know uh what i'm trying to do and we get in fights about it all the time and this and
00:01:48.260 this is what do you think i should do and i want to answer that question normally i would be a kind 0.96
00:01:56.420 of a smart ass and say oh you should fucking dump them but i think this is a serious issue and i want 0.98
00:02:01.120 to be somewhat serious about it you know and i want to explain my my thought process here guys um 0.99
00:02:06.980 sometimes when you care about someone sometimes when you love someone uh or you're in a relationship
00:02:12.280 with someone um it that's not enough okay feeling a certain way about them or being attracted to
00:02:22.240 them or uh you know feeling like you're quote unquote in love with them everybody likes to put
00:02:28.600 that at the front of the line of what's most important but and it is it is important i'm not
00:02:35.820 saying it's not but i'm saying everybody likes to say that that's what matters and that's what's
00:02:41.000 important and that's the most important thing because it makes them feel like a good person
00:02:45.140 so i want to i want to explain my thought process here with you guys you guys have to understand that
00:02:52.740 being in a relationship is about two people who believe in the same things okay eventually after
00:03:05.440 a course of time you know when you first get in a relationship and you know you're horny all the
00:03:11.100 time and you're fucking all the time and you're you're attracted all the time you're doing all this 0.98
00:03:16.180 shit all the time eventually that's going to get old okay and a lot of people confuse infatuation 0.99
00:03:22.740 for love all right and because of that they alter or change their life decisions based upon 0.97
00:03:31.720 those feelings of infatuation and they don't really understand what love is and so i want to try to
00:03:40.920 like communicate to you guys how important this is to understand because it can affect your life
00:03:47.840 and here's the facts i'm always going to be honest with you the facts are this you were born alone and 0.89
00:03:54.300 you're going to fucking die alone and you need to take real strong close accurate inventory of where 0.97
00:04:02.760 you're going to be in the next five or ten years when you're making a decision about a relationship 1.00
00:04:07.340 now okay it's not about how big the girl's boobies are or how big the dude's schlong is and you know 0.99
00:04:14.960 all this sex shit and like how you know how good they look on instagram or how popular they are and 1.00
00:04:20.460 all this other shit you need to think about five years ten years down the road and you need to put 1.00
00:04:26.480 put a big big emphasis on what this person that you're supposed to be with what their value system 0.98
00:04:35.940 is in terms of what they see happening in their lives okay and a lot of times guys people will
00:04:43.320 have these infatuation feelings they'll have these love feelings they'll have uh you know they'll be in a
00:04:48.740 relationship and the person who they're with doesn't support what they do because a they don't
00:04:56.380 understand it and b they don't value the end result okay for example i have a friend right now who's
00:05:02.340 having some relationship problems and and and to be honest i've had these same problems with other
00:05:06.800 with other girls before i was married um and my friend you know he's working hard to build a career
00:05:13.960 he's working his ass off and his partner that he's in a relationship with is bitching at him
00:05:20.240 all day about how much how hard he works uh that he's never around and that he's putting too much
00:05:25.880 energy and that he's greedy and then all he wants is money and this and this and this when in reality
00:05:31.460 all this guy's doing is trying to improve the situation for both of them understanding that it's going to
00:05:38.320 take time and guys because entrepreneurship and being successful in general requires so much time
00:05:46.340 not a lot of people understand it because it doesn't fit into society's norm and having problems
00:05:53.440 like this in a relationship are very common um you know sometimes you can work through them sometimes
00:05:59.820 you can have legit conversations and get the person to see your point of view sometimes you can't
00:06:05.240 and it's when you when you can't get someone to like see what you're trying to do and they 0.80
00:06:11.240 consistently nag you consistently bust your balls consistently make it harder for you to succeed 1.00
00:06:16.960 that's when you've got a decision to make and that decision is this are you going to keep going on the 0.99
00:06:23.080 path you're on and fight this battle when success is a fucking battle in itself okay and i'm going to 0.97
00:06:29.680 argue that if you do choose that you're not going to be successful because you only have so much energy 0.91
00:06:34.440 to spend on success in a day whether you work for someone on your own company whatever it is
00:06:38.980 and if you spend half of that energy arguing with the person that's supposed to be your biggest
00:06:44.080 supporter you're not going to have the energy it takes to do what you need to do okay and the other
00:06:51.360 decision is you you break up with them and uh i want to i want to talk about that for a second you
00:06:57.500 know a lot of you guys when you break up with someone you like to put blame on them and you like to
00:07:02.720 like say it's their fault and you like to you know people like to say oh well it was this person's
00:07:07.760 fault for thinking this way it's this person's fault for thinking the way that i don't think and you know 0.91
00:07:12.620 what they're a loser and you know and then the loser person saying well that guy's just greedy and only 1.00
00:07:17.020 cares about money and blah blah blah here look that shit's irrelevant okay you guys natures as human 0.99
00:07:25.260 beings don't go together all right your your beliefs your values what you're trying to do in 0.97
00:07:32.420 your life doesn't go together and that's okay okay but you have to be able to recognize that ahead of
00:07:40.220 time when you're having these kind of issues is this person salvageable can they get on my page and
00:07:45.200 support me or are they always going to be an anchor in my boat and if they're always going to be an 0.90
00:07:48.840 anchor boat you got to cut the fucking anchors loose that's just the reality of the situation 0.93
00:07:52.860 and so many of you guys put so much value in these in these meaningless relationships okay uh and and 0.99
00:08:03.160 you know some people like what do you mean it's meaningless well like dude growing up when you're
00:08:06.280 20 years old you're going to have four or five quote-unquote relationships before you're 30 years
00:08:11.040 old most likely and you know if you're trying to like build your life based upon what every single
00:08:17.740 one of them thinks if every single one of them thinks differently about how you should build your
00:08:21.320 life you're not going to build anything because you're always going in a different direction every
00:08:24.760 two or three years so you have to be you know mindful of your own path and mindful of your own
00:08:31.200 direction when it comes to relationships and you have to try to find someone who has the same values
00:08:36.660 and same ambitions and same drive that you have or at least understands how to support that you know
00:08:42.900 I was very fortunate because my wife her dad was a hard-working entrepreneur and he was you know
00:08:48.680 we had to work really really hard to provide for them that's what she grew up around that's what
00:08:52.500 she saw and because of that you know I'm able to do the things I need to do without getting a bunch
00:08:58.000 of shit now you know the girl I dated before that it was the opposite you know her dad had a regular 0.99
00:09:03.120 job he didn't work you know a hundred hours a fucking week every week you know he wasn't up until 1.00
00:09:08.560 one or two in the morning every night working uh you know and because she never witnessed those 0.96
00:09:14.620 things she didn't understand why I did those things that doesn't make her wrong it just makes
00:09:19.960 her different than what I need and you guys have to start looking at like that um you know if you 0.99
00:09:26.760 have someone who's bitching at you guys you know who's saying oh you know you fucking work work work 0.94
00:09:32.340 or always always has something to complain about you've got to realize that those people that complain 0.97
00:09:37.200 like that they're going to have something to complain about no matter what so you can either choose
00:09:42.480 to get bitched at because you're broke and you're around the house all day and you spend time with
00:09:47.760 that person or you can get bitched at because you're working your ass off to build a future 0.98
00:09:51.860 you know but either way you're going to get fucking bitched at so it's your choice of what you want to 0.97
00:09:57.060 deal with and I can tell you this the right choice is going to be the one where you're going to be 0.97
00:10:01.260 better off in the next five years you know because if they're bitching at you for this eventually
00:10:06.620 they're going to leave you for that and if they're going to leave you for being broke or they're going to
00:10:10.240 leave you for being a hard worker that's trying to make money which one would you rather have
00:10:13.900 you know which one's going to put you in a better situation which one's going to keep you on the
00:10:19.140 right path and you guys have to consider that you can't just keep changing your value system based
00:10:25.200 around these these relationships that are a natural part of life you know part of being in a relationship
00:10:29.940 guys is learning what you don't want through having it you know not every relationship is perfect and
00:10:38.200 most aren't and you need to pay attention just like you would pay attention in business
00:10:42.180 and learn from your mistakes you need to do the same in the in the relationship round too you know
00:10:46.940 in that area of your life you've got to be able to to look at something and say you know what this
00:10:51.840 person doesn't see what I'm trying to do they don't get what I'm trying to do they don't gonna
00:10:55.080 they aren't going to understand it it's going to make things really difficult for me I'm going to
00:10:58.820 try to move on now while I can before it gets complicated like you know having a kid or getting married or 0.76
00:11:04.780 marrying the wrong person those things are fucking devastating to your chances of becoming successful 0.88
00:11:09.400 and I know there's people listening right now well love is more important than money you know I agree 0.98
00:11:13.300 with that but but without money and without a career path and without all this this other shit there's 0.84
00:11:17.960 not going to be love because you're going to be fighting over money you know one of the biggest
00:11:23.220 reasons of divorce one of the biggest reasons of breakups is lack of money it's not the it's not the 0.99
00:11:29.000 abundance of money you know poor people will try to tell you oh your fucking money ruins 0.96
00:11:33.480 relationships uh no it doesn't the biggest reason of divorce is fucking money and you have to be able 0.99
00:11:40.680 to understand that you need money and somebody who doesn't understand that you need money is not 0.92
00:11:47.160 probably not a good partner um but guys you know I I just get this question so much I just kind of
00:11:54.500 wanted to give you my take on it you know if you don't have the right person if you don't have the right
00:11:58.180 partner if you know relationships are not supposed to be about an anchor they're supposed to be about a
00:12:03.180 propeller and you've got to understand that like having a propeller on your boat versus having an
00:12:08.880 anchor it doesn't make you know a little bit of difference it makes a lot of difference and guys
00:12:15.040 I would highly encourage you to take uh you know inventory of where you're spending your energy are
00:12:20.840 you spending it all on trying to move forward you know if you're let's say you're less than 30
00:12:25.580 are you spending it on bettering your life or are you spending it fighting with someone because
00:12:29.940 you're bettering you're trying to better your life because you're spending it fighting with 0.98
00:12:32.580 someone because you're trying to better your life you're not going to get any fucking better 0.97
00:12:35.200 all right start looking and paying attention and auditing your personal relationships because
00:12:42.040 they're a big part of of where you're going to end up you know and so many people and I see it in my
00:12:48.940 business all the time spend so much time with the wrong people and take so much energy and spend it on
00:12:55.280 the wrong people when they could be spending on working towards a career for themselves working
00:13:00.000 on bettering themselves which is ultimately going to put their family their future family that doesn't
00:13:04.560 even exist yet in a better spot and guys I would encourage you to think like that too you know I
00:13:10.420 don't have kids I have a wife I have dogs um you know obviously we're doing okay but you know since
00:13:17.480 I was 17 18 years old I've always thought you know one day I'm gonna have to have a family and
00:13:22.220 like I did all this work this work that I've done for the last 18 years I did that for my future
00:13:28.600 family you know so I I was already pretending I had a family even though I didn't because that helped
00:13:35.100 me stay motivated and driven towards being successful and finding the right path and guys you know we're
00:13:41.740 all gonna have challenges in relationships I'm not saying it should be easy but it certainly shouldn't
00:13:47.240 be a fucking anchor in your boat it shouldn't be holding you back and it shouldn't be a roadblock that
00:13:51.160 you have to plow through every time you come home from working an extra hour or two or explain 1.00
00:13:56.000 yourself as if you were out at the bar drinking with your buddies no motherfucker I'm trying to 0.99
00:14:00.240 work I'm trying to get better I'm trying to improve and you know what guys there's nothing 0.99
00:14:04.240 wrong with that you know that's another point a lot of times the people who will bitch at you and 0.98
00:14:09.280 complain about you working so much will will try to make it feel like there's something wrong with
00:14:13.520 you there's nothing wrong with you there's nothing wrong with you but there's also nothing wrong
00:14:18.080 with them that's the point you just have to have an adult conversation say hey look I want this out
00:14:26.640 of my life you want this out of your life and if that's not going to change I'm not going to change
00:14:31.580 and you know if we're not going to change then we shouldn't spend any more time going down this path
00:14:35.660 and arguing with each other because it's making us both miserable and if you have an adult
00:14:39.020 conversation like that you know you can move on and still be friends there's no reason to hate
00:14:43.180 there's no reason to blame there's no reason to like you know fault people it's just it's just the
00:14:47.620 way it is it's just the way it is so start looking at relationships for what they are not you not what
00:14:53.120 you want them to be or what their potential could be start looking at them for what they are and where
00:14:58.280 you're going to be five years from now and you're going to have a much easier time answering that
00:15:03.540 question for yourself what do I do when someone doesn't support me
00:15:07.480 you