REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 26, 2018


FORGIVENESS： A Surprising Key to Success, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO243


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

167.4865

Word count

1,850

Sentence count

111


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this day 15 years ago, I was stabbed in the face. Today is the 15th anniversary of that day and I wanted to talk about how I forgave the person who did it and how it changed my life.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.400 I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.
00:00:04.880 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.
00:00:13.360 What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO.
00:00:20.820 Today is going to be a short podcast. First off, this is your first time listening.
00:00:26.040 This is an entrepreneurship, personal development, how to kick ass at everything you do podcast.
00:00:33.200 I know we're technically in the business section, but we basically cover everything that you would have to learn to succeed.
00:00:42.080 I don't charge for this. This isn't something we charge for. I don't run ads.
00:00:45.700 I'm not filling my podcast the first 10 minutes with ads like everybody else does and all that other bullshit.
00:00:51.620 We just get right to the point. In return, I do have a fee.
00:00:55.280 I ask that you refer a friend for each podcast that you find value in.
00:01:01.620 Now, today is a little bit different of a podcast.
00:01:10.560 Exactly 15 years ago today, on June 26, 2003, I was stabbed in the face.
00:01:20.400 A lot of you guys asked me how I got scars on my face.
00:01:26.560 I cover the whole incident in episode number one.
00:01:30.420 Today just happens to be the 15th anniversary of that day.
00:01:36.120 It's affected my life in a lot of ways.
00:01:41.580 At first, it was very difficult.
00:01:45.300 By the way, if you don't know the story, just summer it up.
00:01:47.620 I got stabbed in the face, had 160 stitches in my face.
00:01:52.640 Permanent nerve damage on the left side of my face.
00:01:54.700 That's why I don't really smile that much because my smile is only, I get like a half a smile.
00:01:58.820 I've gone through a lot of depression issues, a lot of very dark times, to say the least.
00:02:10.360 But ultimately, you know, it's made me a better person.
00:02:13.300 What I learned from the experience, I wouldn't trade for anything.
00:02:19.540 And if I could take it back, I wouldn't because I think ultimately it's made me a better person.
00:02:23.600 If you want to hear the whole story, you can go back and listen to episode one.
00:02:28.720 Now, what I do want to talk about, though, is something that I think is very important for a lot of you guys listening.
00:02:37.000 And this isn't going to take real long.
00:02:38.520 It's just something that I think is important to note and something that we really haven't talked about too much.
00:02:45.120 A lot of people ask me because, you know, this permanently affected my life.
00:02:49.880 It affected my self-esteem.
00:02:52.200 It gave me depression issues, severe depression issues.
00:02:56.140 I'm not talking about feeling bad.
00:02:57.640 I'm talking about being literally fighting the urge to kill yourself every single day, multiple times a day for years of my life.
00:03:07.640 And people say, don't you want to get him back?
00:03:12.260 Don't you want to don't you want to do something back to him?
00:03:14.900 Don't you want, you know, how do you feel about him and this and that?
00:03:18.520 And the truth of the matter is, guys, is that, you know, I forgave the guy who did this a long time ago.
00:03:28.300 Ultimately, like I said, it's it's been a great thing for me because I've gotten stronger.
00:03:32.560 I've gotten better.
00:03:33.780 It made me more memorable.
00:03:35.340 There's a million benefits that that that incident has contributed.
00:03:39.640 And to be honest, if it hadn't have happened, I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you guys right now and living the life that I live.
00:03:47.500 But what I want to talk about is because people have such a hard time grasping the concept of how you could forgive someone who's done something that's so horrible to you.
00:03:57.580 A lot of you guys will argue with people, you'll fight with people, you'll hold a grudge over a fucking argument.
00:04:05.440 OK, and let me explain something to you guys.
00:04:11.320 We like I say all the time, we only have so much energy in our lives and energy is spent on every single thing that we do.
00:04:19.140 And if you spend energy holding grudges against people or wishing bad on people or hoping bad things, you know, happen to their lives or spending it in anger and bitterness about why things happen or why people did things to you.
00:04:36.680 Guys, you don't have as much energy to live a positive life and you don't have as much energy to move forward or create and build the life that you actually want.
00:04:44.840 And a lot of you guys get caught up because it is a very common thing for people to not forgive people when they fuck up.
00:04:53.580 And let's be fucking real, dude.
00:04:56.060 Everybody fucks up.
00:04:57.580 I've done so many dumb things in my life that I'm not proud of.
00:05:01.180 I've hurt people.
00:05:02.420 I've done, you know, mindless things that had consequences that I didn't realize.
00:05:08.560 I've disappointed people.
00:05:10.500 I've made bad decisions.
00:05:12.160 And, you know, it's important to realize that when you're not perfect, nobody else is perfect either.
00:05:21.640 And so when you hold a grudge and you're angry and you don't want to forgive, there might come a time in your life later where you do something stupid or you make a bad decision or you do something that affects people in a negative way that you're not proud of.
00:05:36.340 And guess what?
00:05:37.440 Those people might not forgive you.
00:05:40.000 And so, guys, there's multiple things that can happen here, positive and negative, in terms of forgiveness.
00:05:46.700 But I think the biggest thing that you have to understand is that by not forgiving, you're putting an emotional burden that takes away from the quality of your life.
00:05:56.220 And so for that reason, you know, when I think of the guy who stabbed me, I don't think of him negatively.
00:06:04.000 I genuinely, truly hope in my heart that he's improved as a person, that he's become stronger, that he's become better, and that he's living a good life and that he's learned from the entire experience.
00:06:15.360 And, guys, when you, people do you wrong, and you've heard this from the days of Dr. Seuss, you know, when you don't forgive and you don't let people off the hook, so to speak, really who you're hurting is yourself.
00:06:30.980 Because, A, you're carrying an emotional burden that you don't need to carry.
00:06:35.280 B, I believe in karma, and I think you're creating karma in a way where, you know, when you fuck up, people aren't going to be as forgiving of you.
00:06:43.280 B, okay, and C, you're taking the energy that you could be using to produce a positive life and spending it on something that just doesn't fucking matter anymore, all right?
00:06:54.700 So I want you guys to listen to me, and I want you to realize, because I get so many DMs and emails from you guys talking about how so-and-so did you wrong, or someone did something bad to you, or someone did something that hurt your feelings or hurt you physically, and, you know, how to get over it.
00:07:13.040 And the truth of the matter is, you just got to let it go.
00:07:16.080 You just got to let it go.
00:07:18.100 You know, it didn't take me 15 years to let this man who did this to me off the hook.
00:07:24.880 You know, I had to let it go right afterwards, because if I didn't, I would have killed myself.
00:07:30.080 If I didn't, I would have been miserable my whole life, and if I didn't, I wouldn't be sitting where I am right now.
00:07:34.740 So, guys, when you think about the people who have done wrong, the people who have said things, all right, let's just talk about how minimal it is for people to quote-unquote say things to you, all right?
00:07:48.460 Like, does it really fucking matter?
00:07:51.520 Is there really that much not going on in your life that you're going to get that upset about something that someone said to you?
00:07:58.580 It's so popular these days to see someone talking about, you know, all these things we see in pop culture, you know.
00:08:08.900 Oh, they put us on a reality show, and they show somebody fighting for three fucking episodes about a sentence that was said.
00:08:15.080 Guys, let it go.
00:08:18.280 You know, there's going to be bad things that happen to you.
00:08:21.280 There's going to be people that do you wrong.
00:08:22.900 There's going to be people that do things that anger you and upset you and disappoint you.
00:08:27.800 But on the flip side, you're going to do things wrong.
00:08:31.660 You're going to anger people.
00:08:33.280 You're going to do things that disappoint people and let people down and make people lose respect for you.
00:08:38.460 And you're going to need forgiveness, too.
00:08:41.420 So, guys, what I'm saying here is learn to forgive.
00:08:45.640 Learn to let people, learn to understand that people are human just like you're human.
00:08:50.360 And learn to understand that you're going to make mistakes just like they're going to make mistakes.
00:08:54.780 And when you start to think of yourself as a human instead of some perfect being, it's a lot easier for you to forgive other people for doing things that are wrong to you, which is going to lift the emotional pressure, which is going to give you energy, which is going to make you feel better.
00:09:09.700 And honestly, I think it's going to create better karma for you long term.
00:09:13.080 And I know this isn't something that we talk about a lot on here, and it's not necessarily, you know, quote unquote success related.
00:09:22.180 But I truly believe it is success related because at the bottom line, it takes your focus off what's important and what your goals are and what you're trying to accomplish.
00:09:29.960 OK, and I thought, you know, today being a 15 year anniversary of a very, very pivotal event in my life, it would be a good opportunity to talk about that process.
00:09:42.120 Because I think if I could forgive someone who literally took my fucking face away, you could forgive someone who said a few things to you or who did something to you.
00:09:51.940 OK, and I know there's bad things that happen, right?
00:09:55.540 There's bad things that happen.
00:09:56.700 There's way worse things that happen.
00:09:58.940 But the more you hold on to it, the more you're handicapping yourself, the more you talk about it in a negative way, the more negativity you're bringing into your life.
00:10:07.900 That's my message for you guys today.
00:10:10.140 It's just this realize you're going to fuck up.
00:10:13.960 You're going to make mistakes.
00:10:15.780 You're going to do things that disappoint people.
00:10:17.920 You're going to do things that let people down.
00:10:19.880 You're going to do things you're embarrassed of.
00:10:21.940 And when those things happen, you're going to wish that the people that you did them to will give you a chance of forgiveness.
00:10:28.900 And to get that chance, I think it's important that you give it first.
00:10:51.940 Thank you.
00:10:52.600 Thank you.
00:11:01.580 Thank you.