REAL AF with Andy Frisella - How To Be A Man, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO44

00:00:00.000 Hey everybody, this is Vaughn Kohler and you're listening to the MFCEO Project.

00:00:04.260 Tight pants, loofah, hair product. Is that what it means to be a man? Nah.

00:00:10.940 Our guest today is Ryan Michler of Order of Man and that's exactly what we're going to

00:00:15.380 talk about today. What it means to be a dude. That's today's podcast. Brace yourselves.

00:00:30.000 What's up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy and I am the motherfucking

00:00:47.600 CEO. I'm here with my co-host Vaughn Kohler with a nice polished dome. What's up? You just shaved

00:00:53.300 that today or what? I did. I shaved it this morning, very early this morning. It looks

00:00:57.100 like it. It's nice and shiny. Yeah. I also shaved my beard because it wasn't really going

00:01:02.260 anywhere. Dude, I don't know. I thought it was going well. You thought so? Yeah, I thought

00:01:04.960 it was. It added at least five points to your manliness. All right. Well, I might try it

00:01:10.600 again. Which is funny because that's what we're going to talk about today. Yeah. But before

00:01:13.980 we get into the subject of this podcast, I just want to talk a little bit about what

00:01:18.500 we did this past weekend. We went up into Utah, Park City, spoke at the Sundance Film Festival.

00:01:24.980 First of all, to any of you guys that came out because it was a packed house, a standing

00:01:29.960 room only, I had a ton of people come up and they're like, dude, I listened to the podcast.

00:01:33.920 Thank you so much. I had people come. We had people come from Chicago, from Oklahoma, from

00:01:40.040 Canada, from Boston, all the way to Utah to see the Revolution Tour event that I did with

00:01:46.860 Sean Whalen that are all avid listeners of the podcast. I probably have 40 or 50 people come

00:01:52.360 up and talk about the podcast. And guys, if you guys made that trip, spent your money

00:01:56.320 to come see me, thank you so much. It was a very, very humbling experience and I appreciate

00:02:02.440 each and every one of you. If I didn't get a chance to talk to you directly, I apologize.

00:02:08.320 It was my intention to try to get around and talk to everybody, but it was just, it was a

00:02:11.840 hectic, chaotic night, but it was also a ton of fun. So thank you so much for coming out.

00:02:16.280 Yeah. It's hard to describe that whole event without using cliches. But it was just, it

00:02:21.480 was just amazing. It was really the energy in the room between you and Sean. It was, and

00:02:26.780 just the venue being personal and just everything about it. And I, it was the first time since

00:02:31.660 seventh grade I've been in Utah. So it was Salt Lake, Salt Lake is cool.

00:02:35.320 Utah is beautiful, man. I mean, if you're, you're out there in Utah, consider yourself lucky.

00:02:38.820 I mean, I look around Missouri, you know, here and there a couple of times a year, you know,

00:02:42.900 like, um, in the fall it gets really pretty. Um, when it snows, it's really pretty. But

00:02:47.440 I mean, to have that beautiful lake and then the mountains on the other side and, and, you

00:02:52.520 know, just don't take that for granted to spend the time to look around and realize how, how

00:02:56.500 blessed you are to live in that area because it is just absolutely beautiful. I told like

00:03:01.160 three or four people that from Utah and they're like, really? I'm like, yeah, dude. Yeah.

00:03:04.600 You don't know how good you have it. Yeah. So, um, are we going to do a question of the

00:03:08.120 day? Well, we are, but I, I have to tell you that I have a personal agenda item that

00:03:12.100 I'd like to bring up. Is that okay? You have a personal agenda. Yes, I do. Um, so

00:03:15.640 first of all, let me ask you a question. Would you, would you consider writing out a check

00:03:19.520 right now to me for $20,000? No. Okay. Well, apparently my association with you cost me

00:03:27.920 $20,000. How's that? Because within the last two or three months, I had a pretty high level

00:03:32.980 client that was going to go with me to, to work, you know, help, help him put together

00:03:37.880 a book. And then he did a little research on me and apparently was offended by the level

00:03:43.040 of cursing and, and questioned my actual faith commitment because I would be part of a, part

00:03:49.740 of a project, an MFCEO project that had such vile cursing. So.

00:03:56.040 Hey man, look, if you, if you're that delicate that you can't look past a couple F-bombs here 0.97

00:04:02.640 and there to find a real message, uh, I really doubt your ability to be successful. Yeah.

00:04:07.400 Earth. Absolutely. So I'm just, I'm just giving you a hard time. I actually kind of thought

00:04:11.320 I would actually look at that as a blessing because the reality is, is if you have to put

00:04:16.080 your name on a project, it's going to be that sterile that they can't even look past that

00:04:20.520 kind of a message. Um, you know, it wasn't going to be successful anyway. Right. So whoever

00:04:25.980 it was, you know, grow the fuck up. Yeah. But so no $20,000. I'll buy you a vodka. All

00:04:33.000 right. You've already done that. Yeah. Okay. But, uh, are you making that up? No, no, I'm

00:04:39.080 totally serious. Damn dude. That's crazy. It is crazy. And actually I thought it was kind

00:04:43.540 of funny. Uh, it is what it is, man. You know, uh, here's the thing about business that people

00:04:48.360 don't realize, you know, everybody feels like they have something to say. We talked about this

00:04:51.700 at dinner last night. Um, you know, everybody feels like they have something to say and they

00:04:56.840 want to come on and they want to talk. But the reality is if you're just going to fucking 0.87

00:05:00.460 say the same thing over and over and over again, that other people have said a million

00:05:04.220 times before you, the same way that everybody said it, you're not going to gain an audience

00:05:08.540 and you're not going to be successful. So that person, I would say to them, um, that they

00:05:12.980 have a lot to learn about what it takes to build an audience and what it takes to get

00:05:17.100 people engaged into content because, and it's not the curse words that, that people

00:05:21.920 are attracted to me for. That's just something that's just icing on the cake. Let's face

00:05:26.020 it. Right. You know, but the reality is, is that, um, people don't understand that, you

00:05:32.180 know, the more you polarize and the more you stand for something, uh, the more of an

00:05:36.080 engaged audience you build. Right. You know, and if you're just going to pump out the same

00:05:39.400 old generic content, which it sounds like this person probably was going to, right. Um, you

00:05:43.800 know, the book would have failed anyway and he would have blamed you. Right. Well, I

00:05:46.620 mean, and the other thing about that is, is, is to listen to the podcast and only

00:05:49.580 hear the curse words. It's like, you're not really listening. Like you're not,

00:05:53.120 you're, I mean, let's be real, man. How does everybody talk when they're away, when

00:05:56.420 they're, when they're outside of a corporate atmosphere, right? You know, Oh my God.

00:05:59.980 He said, fuck dude, I've been hearing that worse. I was first grade. Come on, dude. I

00:06:05.680 dropped about 4,000 F bombs in front of a group of Mormons at Salt Lake city and they 1.00

00:06:11.500 loved it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, dude, look to the message. Don't look to

00:06:15.440 the, I always think, I don't know. To me, like those people that do that, I, it

00:06:20.120 doesn't even bother me. Yeah. That's what's going to stop you from like, yeah. I

00:06:23.860 just thought I'd leverage it as an attempt to get a bonus of some sort. Well, I

00:06:27.160 mean, dude, do you really have the warrior instinct and the battle instinct that

00:06:30.900 you, that it takes to go out and like get your hands dirty and be successful in

00:06:36.220 this earth? If you can't hear a couple of fucks. Right. That's my opinion. Yeah.

00:06:40.160 Have fun living in your bubble. That's an excellent point. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great,

00:06:43.320 great point. So we do have a question of the day. It's not, you're getting

00:06:46.760 $20,000. Uh, actually I don't have a question of the day. I am not prepared.

00:06:50.680 I have a question. Okay. You go ahead. So how do you feel knowing that I told you

00:06:56.280 that the Carolina Panthers were going to win the Superbowl three weeks into the

00:06:59.420 season now that they're actually in the Superbowl and you told me there's no

00:07:03.300 way, no way, no way. How do you feel right now? Well, I'm humbled. How are you

00:07:09.660 going to feel whenever they actually win? I snapped about it. I, I, I admitted that

00:07:13.560 you did, you did say that. And, and the truth is, I was at Tyler that I said

00:07:17.420 that, I mean, I thought it was like week six. It was definitely early. Yeah. Because

00:07:22.920 they were like six and oh, and I think you, you brought it up right there. You're

00:07:26.080 like, dude, they're going to fucking, they look like Alabama against everybody 0.78

00:07:28.880 else in college football. And, and to my credit, I thought at the point, at that

00:07:32.900 point, they hadn't really played anybody, you know, but they're, they're good. I mean

00:07:36.360 that you, you brought it up last night is that Arizona, you brought it up yesterday

00:07:41.500 that Arizona is a very good team and they throttled Arizona. So, so there's really

00:07:46.600 nothing. What did we learn? Uh, that occasionally you're right. No. What we, what did we

00:07:50.660 learned Vaughn? Let's try this again. What did we learn? What's our Sunday school? This

00:07:53.780 dude wants a bonus too. Yeah. Doesn't have a question of the day. Yeah. Doesn't think

00:07:57.240 that you're always right. I don't even have an outline for today. How are I supposed to

00:08:00.060 give you a bonus? It's, you know, I have that much faith in you that you're just going

00:08:04.060 to roll with a, with a roll. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. All right. So

00:08:08.080 enough, enough, enough BS and let's, uh, let's get into the show. So, um, today we

00:08:14.900 have a really special guest, cool guest, uh, named Ryan Mickler, who is the host of

00:08:21.280 the order of man podcast. Um, he's also starting an organization called the order of

00:08:26.740 man, which is basically a organization. Well, you know what? I'll just let you talk

00:08:30.920 about it because, um, I want you to, uh, I want you to explain to people what your

00:08:36.320 goal is, um, where you came from, what you're doing. And I was on the podcast a

00:08:40.860 few months ago or a few weeks ago. What was it? How long ago was it? It was like

00:08:44.000 three weeks ago, weeks ago. It was awesome. Um, I really enjoyed it, which is why, you

00:08:48.320 know, we got this, we've got you back out here. So, um, you know, welcome. Thank you

00:08:52.860 for making the trip. And, uh, and you know, why don't you let people know a little bit

00:08:56.420 about who you are and what you're doing. Yeah. I'm actually stoked to be out here.

00:08:59.760 I was telling Vaughn as, uh, as I came, your guys' studio is actually a lot like

00:09:03.220 mine, except for mine's like a fifth of the size and doesn't have all the

00:09:06.920 equipment. So I feel right at home here. I'm not intimidated or anything at all.

00:09:11.020 Hey man, look, I've got beard envy. Your beard like makes mine look like

00:09:15.180 Kenner. I've got like a kindergarten beard and, and you've got like varsity

00:09:19.820 football beard. That's right. We've got baby face Andy over here. Yeah. You're like the,

00:09:23.360 I usually take pride in my beard. Like I'm like, dude, I feel a manly, you

00:09:26.980 know? And then I, we get like Sean in here, we get Ryan in here and I'm like,

00:09:30.600 God, dude, I feel like I haven't even hit puberty. Yeah. Yeah. Ryan has that

00:09:33.820 kind of beer that you, I kind of want to call you Jedediah or something. I get

00:09:37.200 that a lot among other names that I get called. You said that was 10 months of

00:09:40.720 growth. This is 10 months and I'm committed to a year. So we'll see, but I can't

00:09:44.240 imagine, I cannot envision a day where I'd actually go into the bathroom with

00:09:47.840 trimmers or a razor. Are you trimming it at all? I do. I trim the bottom a little

00:09:51.960 bit just to clean it up and make it nice. A little, a little, a little bit, but not

00:09:56.300 a lot. It's looking good brother. Yeah. It's coming in. I appreciate that. Yeah.

00:09:58.900 It's coming in. You know, my boys, my good boys are the, are the dollar beer club

00:10:02.300 guys. Oh, is that right? Yeah. I actually use those guys. Yeah. Yeah. They're

00:10:05.440 awesome. Yeah. Uh, they got the best thing I like about it is the brush they

00:10:08.940 send you. Like they send you an awesome beard brush. Yeah. But anyway, I've got the

00:10:12.240 brush, the comb, the beard oils, all that kind of stuff. So they're good dudes.

00:10:15.640 Yeah, absolutely. So anyway, enough about beards. Yes. Tell us about being a man. Yeah, let's do

00:10:20.520 it. Yeah. Uh, you know, the background of the story, we talked about this a little

00:10:23.700 bit. I grew up without a permanent father figure as I was growing up. And what we

00:10:28.100 talked about is on the podcast, when you were on the show is that sometimes you

00:10:32.560 don't know what you don't know. Life is life. Right. Right. And so that's how it

00:10:35.500 was for me. I didn't know what it was like to have a dad, but around middle school,

00:10:38.380 high school, I started looking around and I saw these guys that were playing

00:10:41.580 baseball with their dads and they're going on camp outs with their dads. And I

00:10:44.520 had, I didn't have any of that stuff. Right. So I got a little bit of envious about

00:10:47.960 that and, uh, was, was able to join sports and I joined the military and I

00:10:51.840 got some of that masculinity type stuff through those outlets. But really this

00:10:55.720 changed for me as I started to have kids, I've got three kids, I've got one on

00:10:59.100 the way. And man, I, I remember when we had our first, I was a jerk. I was a bad

00:11:04.980 dad. I wasn't a good husband because I never knew what it took to be those

00:11:09.840 things. Right. I didn't know what that looked like. And so I just did what I did

00:11:13.260 and what I was exposed to. Uh, but I realized along the way that, you know, I need to

00:11:17.120 step up. I need to be a better dad. I need to be a better husband. I need to be

00:11:19.800 a better community leader. And I didn't want to sit on the sidelines. I wanted

00:11:22.940 to get involved. And this is how I get involved for myself was starting order a

00:11:25.580 man and how I get my boys involved. And we've had conversations. I've actually

00:11:28.660 had my eight year old son on the podcast, which was awesome. Kids say the funniest

00:11:32.600 stuff and they're talk about being real and authentic. Uh, I think I can't

00:11:36.440 remember exactly, but he was calling me out on some stuff. Yeah. Oh, here's what he

00:11:39.700 called me out on. He said, uh, one day I was doing chores or something out in the

00:11:43.680 yard and he was trying to help. And I do air quotes when I say help, you know,

00:11:48.340 an eight year old, how much an eight year old can help. And he said, dad, you just

00:11:51.700 threw this big sissy fit. You threw the shovel across the yard and you yelled at

00:11:55.460 me. So he called me out and I'm like, yeah, there's some things that I really

00:11:58.980 struggle with that I personally need to work on, which is why I started order of

00:12:02.500 man. And it's resonated because I think a lot of guys are kind of in that

00:12:05.420 similar boat where they know they want to do some stuff in life, right? They want to be

00:12:08.980 better husbands, better fathers. They want to do stuff in their business. They want to do 1.00

00:12:12.340 stuff in their community, but we have no idea how to do it because there's

00:12:14.940 nobody leading the way, you know, charging the path. So that's what I'm

00:12:18.240 here to do. Yeah, man. Um, I really dig the mission that you're on and what

00:12:23.200 you're trying to do. And, uh, you know, I personally see exactly, I think we see

00:12:29.280 things very similar when we look out and see what has become of the man, you

00:12:34.960 know, so to speak. And, and, and just because we're talking about being a man

00:12:38.340 doesn't mean that women shouldn't listen. Cause you're going to pick up some 1.00

00:12:40.820 things here too. Oh, it's all right. Right. But, but we get, you know, I see

00:12:45.340 this all the time, man. I feel like, I feel like men have become almost, uh, I

00:12:53.060 don't know what the word is, but like they've lost their masculinity.

00:12:56.100 Emasculated. Emasculated. I prefer wimp, but yeah, whatever you want. But like

00:13:00.220 that's what's been, that's what's almost been told over if we watch TV or we watch

00:13:04.820 movies for the most part, with the exception of like these super testosterone

00:13:08.500 film, right. Right. Blowing everything up. And like, it's either one or the

00:13:11.780 other. It's like, dude, kill everything or be a total pussy. That's right. You 1.00

00:13:15.280 know what I mean? And, um, I feel like, you know, most guys out there, you know,

00:13:22.900 they're not like our grandfathers, you know, where like, you know, my dad or

00:13:27.200 even my dad, my dad knows how to fix a fucking small engine. He knows how to fix

00:13:30.360 his car. He knows how to do everything. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. The only

00:13:33.780 thing that a guy that I see, you know, for the most part, know how to do

00:13:36.460 today is to like be the whipping boy for their woman. That's what it is. 1.00

00:13:40.540 You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Guys don't know how to be men. They think, uh,

00:13:44.060 well, we've been, I think in a way the media has conditioned us, believe that we

00:13:47.560 should only be sensitive and we should only be, uh, care about other people's

00:13:52.420 feelings. And all those, those things are important. Right. There's certainly

00:13:54.800 elements of that. Uh, there's other elements that we're missing. The meme that's

00:13:58.900 going around on Facebook is something about a beard. Like if you can't change your

00:14:02.320 tire, but you still have a beard, you need to shave it off. Yeah. And that's

00:14:06.400 what it is. So we put on these fronts and we grow a beard and we wear the

00:14:09.420 clothes and we build the muscles. Right. But deep down inside, there's no real

00:14:13.500 masculinity. We're just trying to put on this front that we're actually men

00:14:16.520 when in all reality, deep down inside, we don't even feel that way because we're

00:14:19.760 not doing manly stuff. Right. Right. And it's not even just about doing manly

00:14:23.160 stuff either. It's, you know, I think ultimately, you know, it comes down to one

00:14:28.140 basic trait and a lot of people, men and women don't have it, but I think it's

00:14:34.120 super important for a man because I mean, it's in our DNA to be the provider,

00:14:37.900 uh, you know, to take charge, to be a control, to be the protector. And a lot

00:14:43.240 of guys can't even take responsibility for their own shit. You know, like

00:14:46.400 everything is everybody else's fault. Oh, everything, you know, like you could

00:14:50.540 have easily said, you know what? I didn't have a dad. So that's why I'm a

00:14:54.740 shitty dad. Right. I I'm doing a shitty job because I never had a dad and you

00:14:58.720 could have perpetuated that cycle over and over and over and over again. And I

00:15:02.360 think at the end of the day, whether it be in entrepreneurship and guys,

00:15:06.640 everything we talk about here is going to tie back to principles that you can

00:15:09.160 use to make money for sure. Um, but there are also principles that you can use

00:15:13.580 to be better and make a better impact, um, in your life. And I think, you know,

00:15:18.960 ultimately what you talk about and what I gather from the, the, the information

00:15:23.540 that, you know, we've talked about and also what I've heard on the podcast, um,

00:15:27.440 which your podcast is awesome, by the way, I appreciate that. Where can people

00:15:30.000 listen to it? Uh, order man.com. Okay. Yeah. So I highly recommend that

00:15:34.400 podcast. I think you guys need to listen on a regular basis. Um, but I think the

00:15:38.940 point that is transcendent amongst all the information that I see coming out of

00:15:44.220 what you're doing is to take responsibility. Oh, for sure. You know, to look

00:15:47.540 yourself in the mirror, be self-aware, be able to look and say, I'm doing this

00:15:51.680 wrong. I'm doing this wrong. I'm doing this wrong, but also say, I'm doing this

00:15:54.280 right. I'm doing good here and be able to evaluate yourself. You know, it's, it's

00:15:58.480 really interesting. So I'm coaching my son's basketball team right now. He's

00:16:01.740 eight years old. And at this point I actually went to the community center

00:16:05.400 that, that hosts the basketball league because they're not keeping score. Like

00:16:09.560 these are eight year old boys. Here comes a fucking soapbox. That's right. Like,

00:16:13.280 do you know what the question is that these eight year old boys are asking very

00:16:16.500 first at the end of the game, dad, who won? Yeah. They want to measure. So

00:16:21.960 society is conditioning us to, to not compete, to not step up, to not take

00:16:28.340 accountability. Look, if you lose, my eight year old knows this. My five year

00:16:31.880 old, my two year old knows this stuff. If you lose, you just need to do a little

00:16:36.140 better next time. It doesn't mean you're bad or good or anything else. It just

00:16:38.640 means you weren't good enough at that point. And what can you do to move? But

00:16:41.180 this, this problem goes all the way up to the office of the presidency of the

00:16:44.720 United States. I mean, anywhere from two years old up to arguably the leader of

00:16:49.220 the free world cannot take responsibility for their own decisions. And it's

00:16:53.540 driving us. Well, let's talk about that. Let's talk about what you lose when you

00:16:58.940 refuse to lose. Yeah. Okay. When you take away the losses, you're taking away the

00:17:03.940 lessons. And that's what people don't understand. When you take away the losses

00:17:07.920 of a five year old kid or a three year old kid or eight year old kid, first of

00:17:11.860 all, it's not natural because they understand just like you said, they know that

00:17:16.900 they're supposed to win. Right. They don't grow up thinking, Oh, I'm, you know,

00:17:21.340 supposed to be fair and everybody's, that's not a natural thing. A natural

00:17:24.580 thing. If we were born and nobody taught us anything and we grew up to be

00:17:30.220 puberty age males do. And we saw another puberty age male. Our natural instinct

00:17:35.440 would be to kill him. Yeah. I want to be better. That is natural. Okay. Now am I

00:17:39.620 saying you should go stab people in the head? No, I'm not saying that. What I am

00:17:43.860 saying though, is that the, to win is a good thing. It's natural. And when you

00:17:47.480 take away the losses, you're taking away the lessons, you're taking away the

00:17:51.640 ability to learn and you're taking away basically the future of this person

00:17:56.700 because they're not going to be prepared for the situation that life throws at

00:17:59.900 them. Right. Whereas like these moms, you know, these moms think, Oh, little 1.00

00:18:03.260 Johnny, I'm so sorry you lost here. Let me, you know, let me get a trophy for you

00:18:07.820 too, because you lost that. Cause that's where the idea came from. Right. Right.

00:18:10.780 Like participation trophies. Let's make this guy feel good. You shouldn't feel

00:18:14.400 good about losing. Right. You shouldn't. That's the point. Yeah. So you can learn

00:18:17.900 from that. Exactly. You're not supposed to feel good. And you know, I talked about

00:18:22.660 this a couple of weeks ago. Winning is natural. Winning is a real thing. Winning

00:18:26.160 is a natural human instinct. When you're a fucking toddler and you have the play

00:18:31.380 school, uh, you know, basketball hoop and you throw the little plastic ball and it

00:18:36.980 goes in there. You're like, yeah, dude, cause you know that's, you don't even know

00:18:40.720 what the hell you're doing. You just know that you did something good. Right.

00:18:44.180 You know, that is natural. And dude, society is trying so hard. And I think

00:18:49.780 we're in a good time because I feel like people are tired of this, but society is

00:18:53.840 trying so hard to pull that out and to make it equal. And dude, that's just not

00:18:58.460 reality. Yeah. I think, I think what's really demoralizing is that sometimes,

00:19:01.560 you know, it's easy to blame women and say, Oh, it's soccer moms. This is why we've 1.00

00:19:05.920 got this attitude. Yeah. But there's a lot of, there's a lot of guys that promote the

00:19:10.240 idea too. I was telling that's because the reason guys promote that idea is

00:19:14.120 because the soccer moms force it on them and they say, I'm not going to fuck you 1.00

00:19:17.800 unless you fucking raise our kids that way. Yeah. And guys become slaves to the

00:19:22.040 vagina. That's the truth. And that goes down to being a man too, dude. If you're 1.00

00:19:27.040 supplicating to get laid and say like, dude, get lucky. Like these dudes that use 1.00

00:19:31.060 that term, get lucky. Dude, if you're walking around saying I'm going to get lucky

00:19:33.700 tonight, you're looking at the wrong fucking way. That's not what your wife wants. 1.00

00:19:36.920 Sorry. I'm being crude, but I'm being honest. No, no, I hear what you're saying.

00:19:40.600 But I was telling Ryan, like, uh, my sister-in-law, we, we, uh, coach, uh, a, uh, it's

00:19:46.060 third grade boys team and, uh, they're undefeated. They've done really well. And

00:19:49.920 this guy came up to her. I was obviously we were in Utah this past week and this

00:19:53.040 guy came up to my sister-in-law who's a coach and he, and after our team had

00:19:56.860 defeated the other team pretty soundly, he said two things to her. He said one thing.

00:20:00.680 He said, you know, you really shouldn't play the black kid too much because

00:20:03.580 he's so much better than everybody that he makes the other kids feel bad. And

00:20:06.820 then the, and then the second thing he said was, you know, when you guys were up

00:20:10.960 by like 15 or 16, you should have told your kids, this was word for word. You

00:20:15.380 should have told your kids not to play so hard. It's not crazy. That guy was

00:20:19.600 trained. That guy was trained somewhere along the line to think that way. Yeah.

00:20:22.740 That's the point. Yeah. It's crazy. I think what I do, what I say was an extreme

00:20:25.740 example, right? But there's a lot of truth. No, but I, no, I absolutely agree. I agree.

00:20:29.260 A lot of dudes, it's guys that get trained that way one way or the other. No, that is

00:20:32.740 not a natural instinct. A natural instinct is for somebody to go, dude, when you're a

00:20:37.840 kid who plays John Madden football when he's eight years old, dude, he runs the score up

00:20:43.400 to like a million to nothing. And he's like, fuck yeah, that's natural. Yeah. You know,

00:20:47.720 dude, that killer instinct that, that like drive it home win instinct that, that is beat

00:20:52.880 out of people as they grow up. Well, and I think too, the other thing is I think we're,

00:20:56.680 we forget again, as a society, we forget that people are resilient and that's what

00:21:00.940 we're, we're, we're trying to keep people from getting hurt. But you know what? They're

00:21:05.160 not going to get hurt. They're going to get stronger. So my boys are wrestling the other

00:21:08.160 day. I have an eight year old and a five year old and my eight year old grabs the five

00:21:11.700 year old literally by the neck, slams them down on the ground. I'm thinking, oh my gosh,

00:21:15.900 he just broke his neck. And my five year old gets up and laughs it off. Now that's physically

00:21:21.160 resilient, but we're mentally resilient. Right. If we're allowed to bail, if we're allowed to do

00:21:25.980 that stuff, those things are related, right? The physical resilience and mental resilience

00:21:29.280 are related. You know, the more ass beatings you take, the tougher mentally, right? Absolutely.

00:21:34.560 And what do you know you can handle it? Right. And do you want your kid to graduate high school

00:21:38.240 and go out in college and think, oh man, you know, I could show up and, you know, just bare,

00:21:45.000 barely apply myself and everything will be fair and I'll get A's. Yeah. I mean, that's not how it

00:21:49.840 works. And then you're going to send them out into the real world past that. Cause let's be real.

00:21:55.280 You know, college is teaching the same shit now. Of course. Yeah. Okay. You're going to send them

00:21:59.060 out in the real world to get a job and they're going to go out in the job world and they're

00:22:02.240 going to be like, oh yeah. You know, they're going to think they're the shit and what's going

00:22:05.700 to happen. You know, they get crushed. Somebody comes in and tells them they're not what they

00:22:10.180 thought they were. And dudes, sometimes people react crazy and fuck, there was another mass

00:22:15.120 shooting today. Yeah. They're fucking, you know, the out in San Diego. Yeah. You know,

00:22:19.380 I saw it on the news this morning. People go fucking crazy. They don't know how to deal with

00:22:22.780 anything. You know what I mean? They go, they go crazy. They think they're supposed to be gifted

00:22:26.460 everything or entitled to everything. And dude, it ruins their whole life. So you're raising your

00:22:31.780 kids in a way that not only weakens them, but you're taking away their ability to actually lead

00:22:38.200 a purposeful, successful life. Right. You know? And well, there's this problem. A lot of people

00:22:42.660 think that's a joke. They think that like when I, they do, when I hear what I'm saying, they're like,

00:22:46.320 dude, Andy, you're way overblowing it. Motherfucker. I have a hundred fucking employees that are

00:22:51.300 between the ages of 20 and 25 years old. And I interview a hundred people to get one employee.

00:22:58.200 Yeah. So I know what's out there. So unless you're in that situation where you're interviewing that

00:23:03.100 age range every day of your life, multiple times a day, you don't know what the fuck you're talking 0.83

00:23:07.760 about. And I do, cause I do it. I know what these people are prepared for. And it's not much.

00:23:12.420 Well, and I think that part of the reason too, is we look at parenting. I used to believe this too,

00:23:16.740 to a degree is that our job is to protect our children. No, your only job as a parent is to

00:23:22.860 make that child self-sufficient, right? That is your primary focus. And so we don't need to be

00:23:29.860 worrying about being their friends. Although there's an element to that and we don't need to

00:23:33.380 coddle them and protect them from everything. Our job is to make them self-reliant. So when that time

00:23:38.240 comes, they can do everything they need to do on their own without our support and nature supports

00:23:43.720 that we see that in nature. But for some reason, as humans, we're losing focus or losing track of

00:23:49.540 this. And so, like you said, they get beat up when they get into the real world and actually get into

00:23:53.220 a fight, whatever that fight looks like. Yeah. And it could be a million different ways. Right.

00:23:57.340 So, and you know, there's literal people out there that are like an actual fight. Right. Exactly.

00:24:02.400 It's like, yeah, right. We're talking about the struggles of life. Okay. If you can't understand that,

00:24:07.520 please turn off the podcast. But you know, I think that's something that needs to be

00:24:13.520 thought about is, you know, look back on the people who have been hard on you in life.

00:24:19.200 Like I can, I can think of like different people who have been really hard on me. Those are the

00:24:23.160 people I love the most now. For sure. You know what I mean? Like, and parents think that they,

00:24:27.560 by making it an easy path, that their kid's going to love them more. Dude, at the end of the day,

00:24:32.400 when your kid goes out and becomes an adult and is out there and realizes what skills they don't

00:24:37.460 have and the way they were raised and the lies they were told, they're going to resent you for that.

00:24:41.160 Yeah. They're going to say, dude, my parents didn't teach me what I needed to know.

00:24:44.400 So I had this coach in high school, but that's like the inverse of what the parents trying to

00:24:47.820 get. Right. Of course. They're trying to create the love and the friendship and the, you know,

00:24:51.480 and the way you get that over the course of your life is by telling them the truth,

00:24:55.240 teaching them exactly what you're saying to be self-sufficient. You know what I mean? You know,

00:24:59.540 how thankful I am, dude, there was times in my life where I wanted to punch my dad in the face,

00:25:03.320 like on a daily basis, but you know how thankful I am? I have the dad that I had,

00:25:07.160 you know what I mean? Like it's just something that you wouldn't be the same without that.

00:25:11.500 No. Yeah. I had this coach in high school. So I was, uh, I was playing baseball. I played three

00:25:15.560 sports in high school and I was playing baseball. I was a junior. And I thought because I was going

00:25:19.200 to be a senior that I was entitled to the starting catching position when we came to baseball and,

00:25:24.840 uh, uh, senior season came around. I started and my coach pulled me three or four games into the

00:25:31.040 season and he put in a junior instead of me and I was pissed. Yeah. And my mom said, well,

00:25:35.520 I don't know. Go ask him, go ask him why he pulled you. So I went and asked my coach, coach,

00:25:39.300 why'd you pull me? He says to me, Ryan, I told you in the off season, you needed to work on this,

00:25:44.560 this, this, and this. And it's apparent to me that you did not work on those things. So I need

00:25:49.340 to make a decision for the team. And as pissed off as I was about that, he was right. Right. And I'm

00:25:54.800 so grateful that he had the foresight to teach me a lesson over three months that will literally now

00:26:01.700 last me for the next 50, 60, 80 years because he was tough enough to be hard on me that way.

00:26:07.080 Right. You know, and I, I, I could name a million lessons the exact same way. Yeah. You know what I

00:26:15.960 mean? Where I thought I, you know, was good enough at something or wasn't and either the market or a

00:26:22.680 coach or, you know, my dad or whoever I was, I was lucky enough. And I don't say lucky very often,

00:26:29.020 but I was lucky enough to be around people who let me know when I sucked. Right. You know what I

00:26:36.460 mean? Right. And so now I look in the mirror and I'm, I, you know, I don't have an overinflated sense

00:26:41.520 of, of confidence. I have a realistic viewpoint of myself. I know where I'm good. Like last night

00:26:46.780 we were talking to dinner. I, what'd I say? I said, I don't think there's many people that could

00:26:50.580 speak on a stage. Right. Cause I know I'm fucking good. Right. You know what I mean? But there's other

00:26:54.900 things that I will equally as say like, dude, I'm not good at that, but you own it and you

00:27:00.080 recognize it. Right. And that, and that's, that's not being cocky or overconfident. That's just being

00:27:06.500 self-aware. Right. You know, and knowing what you're good at, where you need to improve. And I

00:27:12.060 think I even said last night, you know, every time, no matter how good I do, I can be better.

00:27:15.520 Of course. You know, but you know, I just think that America as a whole, for some reason has,

00:27:24.000 I mean, what do you think, what do you think that, I mean, you have to have a philosophy on

00:27:27.440 where this started, you know, what do you think it is? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know where it started.

00:27:31.840 I really don't. I think this was gradually over time is that people became more and more concerned

00:27:36.180 about other people's feelings and more and more concerned about equality. Right. I mean,

00:27:40.020 that's a big, huge issue. And I think the definition of equality is completely off. We're

00:27:43.700 misjudging and misinterpreting what that word actually means. Right. So there's, there's

00:27:47.880 equality type movements and things like that, but this is just compounding. And that's the reality.

00:27:51.980 It's going to get continually worse and worse until we realize that, hey, take accountability.

00:27:57.160 You know what, even if, and we were talking about this at dinner, even if it is somebody else's fault,

00:28:01.780 even if there is some side, some outside factor, you know, I think if I'm a financial advisor by trade,

00:28:06.280 so I think about 2008, 2009, everybody's complaining about the market. And that was real. Right.

00:28:10.460 Like there's no doubt that was a real issue. Right. And that impacts, I'm sure it impacted

00:28:14.680 your business. I'm sure it impacted other people's business, but placing blame and responsibility on

00:28:20.700 outside factors, even though there may be an element to that does not help you improve. No.

00:28:25.920 So saying that, oh, the market's bad. This is the way it is. And throwing your hands up doesn't help

00:28:30.160 you grow the business. Right. But saying, Hey, the market's bad. How are we going to prepare for this

00:28:33.780 next time is what makes you stronger and better the next time it actually happens. You know,

00:28:36.540 what's funny is you said it affects our, it might probably affect our business dude from 2007 to

00:28:42.140 2012, my company grew a hundred percent every single year. You know, really, you know why?

00:28:46.160 Because everybody else said the market sucks. We're not going to grow. Yep. And when you know what I

00:28:49.960 did, I went all in and I fucking, I knew that they were going into their turtles, turtle shells.

00:28:54.640 So I went on the offense and I was able to capture that market. Awesome. You know what I mean?

00:28:58.160 Exactly. Like you, it, the ability to take responsibility, even when it's not your fault

00:29:05.020 is a tremendous, first of all, if you're an employee, okay. And we talk about the entrepreneurial

00:29:09.300 mindset, um, and creating value if you're an employee, not only if you're an entrepreneur,

00:29:14.140 if you're an employee and you're able to grasp this concept that we're talking about right now

00:29:19.260 about taking responsibility, even when it's not your fault, you have no idea how valuable that is.

00:29:23.920 Like, dude, when I have somebody who could straight up own the issue, cause dude, let's

00:29:29.420 talk about taking responsibility. It's not just saying, and I run across this a lot of

00:29:33.880 times, sometimes even in my own company. Oh, that's my bad. I've, I fucked up blah, blah,

00:29:38.240 blah. And that's it. That's only half of taking responsibility. What's the other half?

00:29:42.060 Yeah. You got to change it. You got to fix the problem. And if you're one of these people

00:29:45.340 who could take the, the idea of accepting responsibility, even when it's not your fault and fixing the

00:29:52.340 problem there, you will have unlimited income potential in your life. Yeah. Unlimited because

00:29:57.440 it's so rare. It's so rare. Well, I'm thinking about how many times we hear, oh, I don't like

00:30:01.980 my job cause my boss sucks or my work sucks or they won't give me this promotion or they 0.84

00:30:06.100 won't do this. I can't even listen to that shit. Like when people tell that, like, do you get like

00:30:09.160 a sick stomach? Of course. Yeah. I roll my eyes. Fix it, man. Like when people start saying that shit

00:30:13.320 to me, I'm like, okay. I, like I automatically look at him and I'm like, dude, you're a loser. Right.

00:30:18.660 And you know, and I do judge people. I'm sorry. Or if you look, you know, it's funny. If you look

00:30:21.820 at people's resumes or, or you're interviewing them, I used to interview with a company I used

00:30:25.500 to work with. Part of my job was to recruit people and I would look at their resumes and

00:30:29.460 we would talk about their past jobs. And a lot of times they'd say things like, oh, this

00:30:32.880 job didn't work out because of this. And this job didn't work out because of this.

00:30:35.440 Me and my boss didn't see eye to eye. Exactly. It doesn't even have to be a bashing.

00:30:38.520 No. All it has to be is a comment. And you know what I say to him? I say, you know what? You're

00:30:42.400 the only common denominator in this scenario. Right. So it's probably not the boss or the past five

00:30:47.420 bosses that you've had. It's probably you. Right. And you've got to understand.

00:30:51.100 That's interesting because I, that is something when I said we, when I said we interview a

00:30:55.880 hundred kids to get one, I'm not lying. Oh, I bet. It takes a hundred kids to get one

00:30:59.760 that gets it. And, and that's sad. But that right there, first of all, if you ever go in

00:31:06.920 an interview, learn how, do not ever say anything like, oh, it didn't work out because of so

00:31:12.900 and so, or we didn't see how to hire. Everybody knows what that means. Yeah. You know what

00:31:15.740 that means? That means you're going to be a pain in the ass here too. Right. You know

00:31:19.660 what I mean? And you're not working here. That's just it. I'm just curious. I go ahead,

00:31:24.720 Tyler. Oh, no. Oh, I thought I was, I was going to say, Andy, you're also forgetting about,

00:31:28.820 you know, you only keep like five out of those 10 of the hundred that you hire, you know?

00:31:33.620 Yeah. I mean, even out, even out of the one out of a hundred. Yeah. They only probably,

00:31:37.320 let's say out of 10 that make it probably only three end up making it longer than six months.

00:31:42.720 Yeah. You know, and that's, that's how big the problem is. It's a huge problem. It is. So I'm

00:31:46.900 kind of curious how both of you guys would respond if you had a situation where you were interviewing

00:31:50.440 somebody and, and, and instead of making excuses, they said, I totally screwed up that job. I won't

00:31:55.800 do it again. I would love that. It'd be awesome. Yeah. It'd be so refreshing, dude. I've never one time

00:32:00.980 heard that never out of the literal thousands of interviews that I've been a part of. Never one time

00:32:06.520 heard something like that. You know, it's funny. If I heard that, I would say, I would probably look

00:32:11.020 at the dude and be like, I wouldn't even know what to say. Yeah. You, yeah. Cause you'd be so

00:32:15.720 caught off guard. Right. You know, you know, there's so much value to be created by just being able to do

00:32:26.500 that. It's one of our core values of our company. Like if you can't accept responsibility, you know,

00:32:31.680 you're not going to work here. Yeah. It's just it. But, but a lot of people, I want to hit on this again.

00:32:36.520 A lot of people misinterpret accepting responsibility, which is saying, Oh yeah,

00:32:39.760 bro, that's my fault. That's only half of it. The other half is going out and changing whatever

00:32:44.480 that is and fixing it. Right. Like without, you know, having to be told, you know what I mean?

00:32:50.120 Yeah. Cause it's easy to say that people get into the habit. I know this because I've had employees,

00:32:55.280 dude, I've had, I've had employees get in the habit of this or they like see accept responsibility up

00:33:00.420 on our wall as a core value. And then, you know, when I say, Hey man, you're, you fucking suck.

00:33:04.940 They're like, yeah, I know, man. I'm sorry. It's my, that's not taking responsibility.

00:33:09.280 Taking responsibility is saying, you know what? You're right. And I'm going to fix it.

00:33:13.840 It'd be easy to listen to this podcast and walk away and incorporate the no excuses. I'm sorry.

00:33:20.420 Hold yourself accountable as this cute little buzzword. Right. Which it is. It's a buzzword.

00:33:24.860 It is a buzzword. So in the military, I spent some time in the national guard and I spent a year in

00:33:30.380 Iraq in 2005 and 2006. But when I was in basic training, one of the guys that was, uh, that was 0.98

00:33:35.260 helping me as I joined the military said, just get really used to the phrase, no excuses. And so we'd

00:33:40.140 go and we'd do things and we'd mess things up and we'd sell the other guys mess things up. And we use

00:33:44.560 that phrase, no excuses. And the drill sergeants would pass right over us. They wouldn't do anything

00:33:49.620 because they're, they're not used to hearing somebody say, I don't have an excuse for why I messed

00:33:53.600 up, but I'm going to work on it. I'm going to prove it. I'm going to do this. I'm going to change

00:33:56.380 this. Right. And they leave you alone. Right. That's life. People don't know. Just like you

00:34:00.620 said, if you're interviewing somebody and says, yeah, I really messed that up, but here's how

00:34:04.100 I'd fix it moving forward. You wouldn't know what to say. No, I wouldn't. And I would, I would

00:34:09.140 100% all things being equal, hire that guy probably. Right. There's a level of respect that comes

00:34:15.040 from that. Cause you know, everybody messes up and if somebody can actually own it, dude,

00:34:18.360 I mess up every day. Right. You know what I mean? It's, that's the thing I think that people

00:34:22.820 miss on is they think that like, they think everybody, like they think people like, like

00:34:29.940 at my level, you know, who's built a little bit of success for himself, they think, Oh,

00:34:33.780 he must do everything right. No, I don't. But when I fuck up, I admit it first of all,

00:34:38.600 and second of all, I'll go fix it. Right. You know what I mean? Right. And how much further

00:34:41.860 are you ahead because you actually fixed it? Dude, it would be easy for me to sit, be still

00:34:46.020 running that one retail store in Springfield, Missouri saying, man, you know, uh, the market

00:34:51.120 went South or, um, you know, the supplement industry is too competitive or, you know, uh,

00:34:57.440 I didn't have any bank financing or I didn't have anybody to help me or I didn't, you know,

00:35:01.820 I could make up a million excuses. Yeah. You know, I got stabbed in the fucking face, almost died.

00:35:06.060 Nobody wants to talk to me. Like, dude, I can make up more excuses than most people. That's why

00:35:10.200 it bothers me so much. Right. You know? Right. Cause you've been through it, you know it. Right.

00:35:14.500 Yeah. And, and people, the excuses that they make, um, they're not acceptable to me.

00:35:20.520 Well, and it's in every area of life. I mean, I, I talk about relationships to think about

00:35:24.020 your relationship with your spouse. It's easy to say, Oh, my wife doesn't understand me or

00:35:28.320 she doesn't know what it's like to be an entrepreneur or she doesn't know how to communicate

00:35:31.460 with me. And, and those are all things I say that because those are all things that I said

00:35:35.420 in my marriage. I've heard that. I've heard those things in previous relationships of mine

00:35:39.160 as well. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? That may be true. There may be elements of that,

00:35:43.380 but again, if you really want to own it, look at yourself first, what can you improve?

00:35:47.340 What can you change? How can you be a better man? And I promise that when

00:35:50.120 you're a better man in business, in your community, as a father, as a leader, as a

00:35:53.860 coworker, whatever, when you start taking ownership, your life is going to switch and

00:35:58.480 it's going to do it fast too. It's going to be a quick switch because you're making

00:36:01.640 changes fast. Hey Ryan. Oh, I was going to say, I love the question. How can I be a

00:36:05.440 better man? So I would, I'm curious because in fairness to a lot of the guys, maybe the

00:36:09.060 young guys that are listening to this, they want to be a better man. And you've, you

00:36:12.580 guys have talked about like not making excuses, taking responsibility. And we talk about

00:36:16.020 that a lot on the show. Yeah. But I want to get into that more specifically. That's

00:36:19.480 that's, we were going to say the same thing, you know, to a young person listening right

00:36:23.520 now, you know, like an 18, like, you know, let's say an 18 year old version of yourself.

00:36:29.740 Yeah. You know what? If you're going to put your arm around them and say, Hey, you know,

00:36:34.960 Ryan, look, listen, bro, this is the way it is. It's not this, this, and this, what would

00:36:40.140 the, it's not this, this, and this? And what would the actions you need to do this? Yeah.

00:36:45.040 Be, you know? Yeah. So let's talk about this. So here's the first thing you've got to figure

00:36:48.340 out what it is you want in life. Right. And we hear that a lot. And I don't want to, I

00:36:51.140 don't want to just stop on that because everybody says that. Right. So identifying what you want

00:36:55.320 in life. Now, here's what I want you to do next. Think about why you're not there. There's

00:37:00.100 a gap between where you want to be and where you currently are. Come up with every reason

00:37:04.520 as to why that's the case, why that gap actually exists. And then go through each one of

00:37:09.060 those excuses because that's what it is. Right. Come up with each one of those excuses

00:37:12.900 and ask yourself, how does this serve me? And if the answer is that excuse doesn't serve

00:37:18.760 me, just cross that off the list because there's nothing you can do about it. And so you start

00:37:23.240 looking at your excuses and you start looking at the reasons why you're not successful.

00:37:26.760 Maybe one of them is, I don't know the right people. Okay, good. How does that serve me?

00:37:31.280 Well, it helps me realize that I need to get in front of the right people, which is part of

00:37:34.460 the reason that you and I are connected right now. Right. I realized that Andy has this platform

00:37:38.700 and he's talking to these guys and I want him to have them on my show so he can provide

00:37:42.000 value and I can provide value to him. Right. And so I consciously and deliberately reached

00:37:46.120 out so we could connect. And that's the way the world works. Nothing wrong with that.

00:37:49.000 Right. Exactly. That's how we talked about that last night. You know, we were talking about

00:37:52.540 a lot of people would look at that and be like, oh, well, you know, that's just manipulating

00:37:55.800 the platform. No, that's how fucking business and life works. Right. You reach out to people

00:38:00.500 you want to be associated with consciously. You don't just like when we talk, dude, remember

00:38:05.260 last night we were talking about, um, how people go through life passively. Yeah. You

00:38:10.160 know, like they don't think they don't actively think about who their surroundings. Dude, explain

00:38:16.040 how you explained it because it was really good. Yeah. So we talk a lot about being deliberate

00:38:19.760 and Vaughn, you've talked about this as well. I think you used a different term than intentional,

00:38:23.460 I think is the term you used, but that's what it's about. You know, we go through life

00:38:27.220 and we get up and we, we set our alarms the way we've always set it and we drive the work

00:38:32.240 the way that we've always driven to work. And we do the stuff our boss tells us to do

00:38:35.640 because that's what he tells us to do. And that's been our life for the past 10 years.

00:38:38.700 And then we get home. And like you said, in some cases we get henpecked by our wives because 0.99

00:38:43.340 we're not man enough to say and to assert that this is what I want out of life. Right.

00:38:47.380 And to take ownership and control of it. And so we live passively. Right. And we live timidly

00:38:52.880 instead of thinking and getting up deliberately and being conscious about here's what I want to

00:38:57.640 do today. And here's who I want to meet. And here's what I want to accomplish. And here's

00:39:01.220 what I want to be to my wife. And here's what I want to be for my kids. We just hang

00:39:05.320 out with the same friends, our coworkers, our neighbors, and we do the same thing they

00:39:09.120 do because it's easy. Yeah. And, and most of that stuff is bitch about the way things 0.62

00:39:15.000 are. Right. And you do it together because it's kind of fun. Like misery loves company.

00:39:18.680 So if Andy's complaining about it, cool. That gives me permission to complain. But if you're

00:39:22.460 not complaining about it, I mean, think about the guys in the office here with you is I can

00:39:27.220 already see that they've incorporated your beliefs. Oh yeah. Dude, we've got

00:39:31.320 because you guys, that's the culture. Yeah. That's what's expected. I'm hard on the young

00:39:34.640 generation, but I'm going to tell you right now, my young generation that works here with

00:39:38.340 me, they're fucking killers. Right. They're the best there is. I even said that on stage

00:39:42.920 when we were at a Sundance. I'm like, Hey man, if you're looking for the young generation 0.89

00:39:47.620 to step in and be a part of your company, cause we had a lot of entrepreneurs there. Yeah. I'm

00:39:51.080 like, well, I have the best 110 young generation. So all you guys are fucked. Good luck.

00:39:54.620 It's that quote of what I said, you know, because it's the truth. And, and a lot of

00:39:59.520 these guys come in and they've lived that passive way and you could see the transformation

00:40:03.780 happen. Is that just from being here with you? I mean, what do you attribute that to?

00:40:08.180 Cause it's a culture, man. It's a culture that we like at first when it was small, it was

00:40:12.420 like, you know, 10 guys and we were like all really tight knit and we're still really

00:40:16.460 tight knit, but it's, you know, we don't spend as much time together, but it was like 10

00:40:19.980 guys. We said, okay, this is what we stand for. And anybody who doesn't stand for

00:40:23.880 this, we don't want them here. Right. And that developed, that's the important of

00:40:29.700 setting core values for your company, first of all, and for yourself. Right. Um, but

00:40:35.480 once you start to establish that, it takes on a life of its own. So like when we bring

00:40:38.820 a new guy in, you know, these guys here, I don't even have to talk to this dude. He'll

00:40:44.600 come in. These dudes will, will, uh, you know, they'll figure it out. They know what's

00:40:49.060 expected. Like they'll come to me and they'll be like, dude, this dude ain't working out.

00:40:52.880 Right. You know, or, you know, even if he gets better, they'll come and they'll say,

00:40:56.780 you know what, Andy, I told you this guy wasn't going to work out. He's starting to get better.

00:41:00.220 Like, you know, everybody's very, very cool. Yeah. It's cool, man. But, uh, it's, it's a

00:41:05.140 culture, man. And, and it, and when you're running a business and you're trying to build

00:41:09.260 something with like, cause I get this question a lot, Andy, I own a business, but I can't find

00:41:13.620 any good employees. You're not going to find them. You're gonna have to fucking make them.

00:41:16.820 And that's what being a leader is about. Well, that's a great point because it's not

00:41:20.120 about finding it's again, it comes back to yourself. Maybe you're not finding good employees

00:41:25.320 because you're not a good boss. That's right. No, that's the a hundred percent of the time.

00:41:30.620 That's the case. If you're not finding good employees to work for you, it's because you're

00:41:35.340 not setting the right example for them and you're not a strong enough leader. Right. That's the

00:41:39.340 1000% of the time. That is the truth, you know, but to tell that to somebody, cause a lot of

00:41:45.440 people think because they own a business that they're automatically a good leader.

00:41:49.460 Right. And that is not the case. In most cases, I would say that's like, I would say most people

00:41:56.040 who own a business, their sense of skill as a leader is way overinflated. Well, and I think

00:42:01.260 the reason they get into the business is because they're good at whatever that task is. Right.

00:42:04.540 So they assume that, well, I can just run the business when it's a completely different

00:42:08.300 skillset that every person needs to learn. And being a leader is a skill. Absolutely. Like

00:42:12.440 it's not a lot of people think you're a born leader. I was not a born leader ever. Like

00:42:16.720 dude, I used to be the opposite of what I am now. That's how I know what the fuck works

00:42:21.940 because I used to do it so wrong. Dude, I've ruined, I have ruined countless numbers of

00:42:28.060 employees because of my poor leadership skills. I've had people come in that were good people

00:42:33.180 that could have done great things with our company and I've done not good things for them

00:42:38.940 to the point where, you know, I might've affected the way that they go on the rest of their life.

00:42:43.760 Absolutely. And I, dude, I live with that. It sucks, you know, but those being aware enough

00:42:48.700 to admit that is what's made me dedicate myself to becoming a leader and becoming the best leader

00:42:54.300 that I can be. And, you know, and I still got a lot of room to improve. And I feel like, you know,

00:42:59.060 for, for most people, I'm pretty strong in that aspect, but it wasn't something I started in business

00:43:04.260 and was like, Hey, I'm good at this. You know, I have employees, so I'm a good leader. No, that's

00:43:08.640 not it. Right. It takes just like it took you, uh, whatever you're selling or whatever your

00:43:13.640 business is or whatever your skill is, just like it took you practice and time and effort and

00:43:18.540 dedication to develop that. You're going to have to put the same, the same effort, dedication,

00:43:24.600 time, and will into becoming a businessman and a leader. We see this a lot with like chiropractors

00:43:30.320 and doctors and, and lawyers. They go to school for a specific skill yet that skill is not going

00:43:36.740 to build their business. I see this all the time with those kinds of guys and they should

00:43:42.300 be teaching more business skills in those, in those pathways, but they don't. And I have

00:43:46.620 the guys who straight up kill it. They dedicate themselves to becoming business people on their

00:43:52.580 own time. So they learn their skill to be a lawyer and then they become a business person

00:43:57.080 on their own skills. Right. You know what I mean?

00:43:58.800 I think Vaughn and I actually talked about this. We talked about communication as being

00:44:02.940 one of probably the most important skills that you could ever have. Right. And just

00:44:06.820 learning how to communicate a marketing obviously is a huge component. Right. Because there's

00:44:11.320 product. I mean, when it comes to business, for example, you could have company A and company

00:44:15.380 B and they can have the exact same product. Right. And company A is going to far, far exceed

00:44:20.400 what company B does just because of the way they communicate and the way they market and the

00:44:23.760 way that they, they lead the business. Well, I mean, it's not the product. Yeah, no, it's

00:44:27.180 not, you know, in fact, most products these days, most products are becoming commodities

00:44:31.460 because. We all have access to the same stuff. Exactly. Right. We all have access to the

00:44:35.560 communications. We can, we can get into Google. We can find out how to manufacture X, Y, Z.

00:44:40.540 It doesn't matter if it's a fucking iPad. Right. You know, how many copies of the iPad are there

00:44:45.400 out there? Yeah. You know what I mean? But Apple runs the market because dude, they understand

00:44:50.060 how to market it the right way. You know what I mean? And, um, you know, that I, I just had

00:44:57.620 this conversation earlier today when I was on the phone. In fact, right before we started

00:45:00.340 the podcast, I was talking to a guy who owned another supplement company who's a good friend

00:45:04.660 of mine. And we were talking about how the industry is changing to where like there's so

00:45:08.860 many more companies and he wants to go to, uh, uh, traffic conversion, which is out in

00:45:15.320 San Diego and we might, I might go with them, but, uh, we were talking about how developing

00:45:20.180 the skills to actually, you know, reach people and communicate and engage people is, is going

00:45:24.720 to be the difference. Of course. It doesn't matter what your product is anymore. As long

00:45:27.960 as it's, as long as it's of good quality. Right. You know what I mean? Right. That's a given,

00:45:31.900 right? Right. It's gotta be a good quality. Right. When I say it doesn't matter what your

00:45:34.680 product, like if your product sucks compared to the next one, it doesn't matter how much

00:45:37.320 you market. Right. But you know, most products at some level are becoming commodity. It's

00:45:41.440 very rare to come out with a product that isn't. Um, and it won't be long if it is, you know

00:45:46.840 what I mean? Right. Until somebody else is coming out with whatever it is you, you know,

00:45:49.820 it used to be back in the old days, you know, to, to develop these relationships, you had

00:45:54.180 to get on a plane and fly to China or wherever it is. Oh, and spend hundreds of thousands of

00:45:58.860 millions of dollars connecting. Yeah. And the secrets were not, nobody would tell the secrets.

00:46:03.080 Now the secrets are on Google. You know what I mean? So you were talking about

00:46:07.280 this, I think on one of your podcasts the other day, I think it was you. And you were

00:46:10.060 saying, I could tell a hundred people, I could give them my business plan. I could give it

00:46:14.820 to them. I said that on the Gary Vee podcast. Is that what it was? Yeah. I could give them

00:46:17.400 my business plan. And regardless, at the end of the day, those people, I could do that because

00:46:20.980 nobody would take action on it. Dude, how many times, Tyler, how long have you been working

00:46:24.680 in? Seven, eight years. How many times you heard me say that to our own company? Oh God,

00:46:29.580 every meeting. Right. Every meeting. You know why? Because every meeting I have guys not taking

00:46:35.120 action on our plan, you know, and I'm trying to stress to them that it's not the plan,

00:46:40.700 it's the action. It's the execution of it. Right. Yeah. And that's the truth, dude. It

00:46:45.460 is the truth. So Ryan, I'm curious. I love your idea about, you know, identifying what it

00:46:50.680 is you want to accomplish and then, you know, identifying the obstacles, I guess. Right.

00:46:54.760 If I interpret that. Yeah. So here's my question. That seems to apply very strongly to some thing

00:47:01.040 you want to accomplish. How do you apply it when guys are wanting to actually develop a certain

00:47:07.460 character quality in their lives? Interesting. Well, I think part of what you've got to do is

00:47:12.880 you've got to, you've got to surround yourself by the right people. I mean, you've got to be around

00:47:15.720 people who have the qualities and the characteristics and the things that you want. But I think it's,

00:47:21.200 it's the same thing. It's just being real about, Hey, here's what I want to be. Here's who I want to

00:47:25.200 be. Here's a leadership trader quality that I want to build. Here's where I'm falling short.

00:47:29.340 Here's where I'm good. How can I improve this? And at the end of the day, it's really hard because

00:47:34.140 it's simple, but it's not easy. And the simplicity of it is reflection and planning and thought.

00:47:43.080 Like you've got to sit down every day and think, what do I want? But I say that and guys are

00:47:50.040 listening to this right now and they're saying to themselves, Oh no, no, that's, I've tried that.

00:47:54.380 That's, that's not what it takes. That's exactly what it takes. You've got to think about what you

00:47:58.700 want every day. And then you've got to go back and you've got to review. Was I a good leader?

00:48:02.420 I'm going to use that as an example. Was I a good leader? Did I lead people to where they wouldn't

00:48:06.540 have been on their own? Where did I mess up? Where could I have done better? What didn't I recognize?

00:48:11.420 All of those things that you should be asking yourself continually is the only way in my mind

00:48:16.580 to start that process of improvement in any area of life. That makes a lot of sense.

00:48:20.660 Yeah. And guys, you know, you hear the term self-aware because it's become really hot.

00:48:24.640 Exactly. That's, you know, and a lot of guys, I feel like hear that and they don't know what

00:48:28.220 it means. They don't get it. Like self-aware. What he's saying is self-awareness. It's reflection.

00:48:34.540 It's being able to check yourself just as you would look at somebody else and criticize them.

00:48:39.480 Only you're criticizing yourself. Right. You know what I mean? And when I say criticize,

00:48:42.760 I don't mean that in a bad way. No, I mean that it's just checklist. Like, Hey, did I do this?

00:48:47.080 Did I do that? Did I do exactly what I wanted to do? And if the answer is no,

00:48:50.720 then you've got to be able to say no. Right. You know what I mean? And the answer should always

00:48:55.120 be no to a degree because that's the only way you're going to continue to improve. You know,

00:48:59.220 what's really interesting is I watched your, the transformation video that you put out several

00:49:02.460 weeks ago or a month or so ago. Um, man, that was a great video by the way. And I know that was

00:49:08.540 probably hard. You said it was hard to do. Yeah. And I know three years ago I started this health

00:49:13.700 journey for myself as well. Yeah. And the hardest part of it was not going to the gym. It was not

00:49:18.880 figuring out what needed to be done. I already knew that stuff. You already know that stuff.

00:49:22.840 The hardest part for me was jumping on the scale. Right. Oh dude. Yeah. I knew that it was out of

00:49:27.720 hand. I knew that it was a problem, but for some reason it was so difficult to put my two feet on

00:49:32.760 that scale because that number is glaring at you and saying, you're not doing what you need to be

00:49:36.860 doing. That's right. And that's true for if you want to be a better leader or if you want to be a

00:49:41.540 better dad, you've got to jump on the scale and say, man, I'm falling short in these areas.

00:49:46.160 That's right. You've got to look at that number and realize. Right. And unfortunately there's not

00:49:49.240 a scale for, for dad. Of course. You know what I mean? Of course. Yeah. Like you've got to make

00:49:53.500 that up in your mind. And like, that's, you know, that's what a lot of younger guys, like I get that

00:49:57.880 question a lot from guys. Like, what does self-aware mean? I hear you say that. I hear other

00:50:01.320 guys say that. What does that mean? Well, that's what it means. It means being able to evaluate

00:50:04.900 yourself without a tool to that evaluates you, you know, like your weight. Right. We've got tools. Right. That we

00:50:11.200 can statistically evaluate ourselves with other areas of our life. I mean, how much better would the

00:50:15.980 world be if we had like, we could stick our finger in like the monitor and said, Hey, your dadness

00:50:20.500 sucks, but you're, you know, you're awesome here. Or hit that thing at the fair where you hit it and

00:50:24.100 it goes up. Right. Right. Yeah. Like, you know, the world would be a better place if we had those

00:50:28.500 things. But the reality is, is we don't. And the difference between people who really get places

00:50:33.580 in life and the difference between people who end up in that same circle of mediocrity and frustration

00:50:39.000 and disappointment and nagging is that the people who succeed have become very aware of what they're

00:50:46.140 good at and what they're not and where they need to improve. And that's something that I would

00:50:50.840 encourage anybody listening to work on daily. Right. And I mean, that's, you know, like a lot of

00:50:55.780 people, like we talk, you know, you're talking to a 17, 18, 19 year old kid. What's it mean to be a

00:51:00.040 man? They're like, well, I can't grow this cool beard like you. You know, that has nothing to do with

00:51:04.060 your hand. Nothing. No, it's just like beards. Yeah. Somebody asked me that the other day. They

00:51:08.400 said, what role does facial have hair have to do with masculinity? I said, none. It doesn't have 0.90

00:51:13.600 anything to do with it. It's about what's inside of you and who you are and the actions you're taking

00:51:17.500 and the accountability responsibility you have in your own life. And then also the level of

00:51:22.540 accountability responsibility that you have for those you have stewardship over. So I'll use you as

00:51:27.460 an example. You've got a hundred plus employees there. That's your responsibility. Absolutely. And so

00:51:33.460 your level of manliness is how well you're taking care of your employees. Yes, there is some personal

00:51:39.100 stuff they need to do. Right. But you brought them in. That's a hard, that's a hard line to balance,

00:51:45.740 dude, especially when you really care about your employees. Like sometimes they get themselves into

00:51:50.120 shit. That's not your fault. It really isn't. Right. You know what I mean? And you have to draw that

00:51:53.500 line and say, well, that's not my responsibility that they went out and were financially irresponsible.

00:51:59.480 You know what I mean? But again, though, go back to this is, okay, let's say somebody goes out and

00:52:05.420 financially irresponsible gets himself into trouble. And you might say, well, throw out my hands. That's

00:52:09.500 not my fault. No, may not be your fault. But you know what? That doesn't serve you. Right. So what

00:52:14.420 serves you is to make sure that your guys are financially responsible because financially

00:52:18.360 responsible employees are going to be better employees. That's right. But that's a kind of a unique and

00:52:23.240 interesting way to look at it. Well, then you got to take, it almost becomes a dad role. Right. Right. For sure.

00:52:27.700 I mean, that's, that's the truth of being a leader and an entrepreneur is that you have to, I, man, I've

00:52:34.480 done things for guys who have appreciated it and I've gone the extra mile and I've done things for

00:52:40.220 people, um, that I, no owner would ever do for other guys. And they basically ended up, you know, totally

00:52:45.760 not getting the lesson and just rubbing it, you know, basically screwing you in the long run. Yeah. Um, and as the

00:52:55.220 owner of a business, you have to look at yourself and say, you know, I did what I knew was right.

00:53:00.560 Right. You know what I mean? And somebody else didn't recognize that. I think, uh, I think you

00:53:06.180 and I talked about this maybe on the podcast where you came on our show. Uh, I was, we put a late

00:53:11.060 night in in Vegas for some work and I was with a business colleague and we drove up to the drive

00:53:14.960 through in and out and a guy knocks on the window and the guy was obviously homeless. And my buddy rolls

00:53:19.880 down the window and he gets out all the change out of his change door. He gets out his pocket,

00:53:23.500 pulls out all the cash and he gives the guy the money and the guy walks off. And I said something

00:53:27.160 like, Oh, you know, he's probably going to spend that money on drugs or booze or whatever else it

00:53:30.480 may be. And my friend said this, I'll never, ever forget it. And this is the lesson we're talking

00:53:35.060 about today. He says, I'm not responsible and accountable for what he does with it. I'm going to

00:53:40.600 be held accountable for what I do and the actions I take in the way in that person that I am.

00:53:46.360 Right. Man, that hit me so hard. It was like a slap across the face. I actually felt bad that

00:53:50.180 I said what I said. Right. But it's true. We're responsible for our own lives. And yeah,

00:53:54.240 you know what? You've probably been burned. Right. I've been burned. But I can live with

00:53:57.680 a clear conscious about it. Exactly. Which you can take to the grave. Right. And some of those other

00:54:01.880 money and those type of things are not. Right. And that's, that's part of being, a lot of people

00:54:08.020 don't think about that when they think about being a CEO, man, or think about being an

00:54:10.960 entrepreneur, owning your own company. You know, um, a lot of people ask all the time,

00:54:16.120 where do you get your drive from? Where do you get, why are you still so hungry? Why are you

00:54:19.960 still pushing so hard? Because dude, I, I push hard. Right. Like you can ask anybody in this

00:54:25.040 office, man. Like it's, I'm more intense than anyone. I was thinking that as, cause I know you

00:54:30.360 had this big weekend trip and then coming back to this, I'm like, man, he's gotta be, we were

00:54:34.900 talking about that. Right. No. But the thing is, is that people don't think about that. They think

00:54:41.160 about the fucking cars and they think about the money and they think about themselves. Right. But they

00:54:45.100 don't realize is that dude, it comes when you get to a certain point in time, you're

00:54:48.260 no longer working for those things. You're working for things for your, your guys. You're

00:54:53.240 working for their financial wellbeing. You're pushing them for them. And a lot of people

00:54:57.020 don't realize that. Yeah. You know, they don't think about that aspect or they discount it

00:55:01.080 and they say, Oh, you're full of shit. You're just doing it so you can get more. You know

00:55:03.980 what I mean? Right. Um, but you know, I'm going to at a certain point in time, if you're

00:55:08.580 a decent human, you know, and you start to become successful, you're going to try to push

00:55:13.360 harder so you can get a better level of success for the people who have helped you.

00:55:18.120 Right. Yeah. You want them the more they're successful. I mean, you can even talk about

00:55:21.500 fathership when it comes to that. I, I, I coach my boys football team, basketball team and

00:55:26.820 baseball teams. I don't have to do that stuff. Right. I've got a thousand other things I could

00:55:30.960 probably be doing. Right. But I do it because I'm serving them. Right. I want them to succeed.

00:55:36.560 I want them to know I care about them. I want them to see me present and available. I want

00:55:41.060 to teach those, those little boys things that they wouldn't be able to learn on their own.

00:55:45.320 That's my responsibility because I signed the dotted line that says, I want to be a dad.

00:55:50.220 Right. And so that's the responsibility that comes with it. Right. You got to take it. Right. So

00:55:54.840 yeah, man. Hey, on that note, let me, let me rewind for a second. You said one of the steps to

00:55:59.420 developing your manhood was to be around really great people, the kind of, the kind of man that you

00:56:04.120 want to be. Definitely. And yet, uh, you were telling me part of your story was growing up without a

00:56:08.540 permanent father figure. I know our mutual friend here in the studio, Larry Hagner of the Good Dad

00:56:13.240 Project has a similar story. Um, what would you say to people who say, um, I just don't have anybody

00:56:20.680 around me. I mean, well, first and foremost, that's, that's absolutely not true. It's not true.

00:56:26.980 There's so many people out there that want to help. I, again, going back to coaching, there's boys that

00:56:32.560 are growing up without dads in their lives that I feel like I have this kind of quasi father relationship

00:56:38.040 with because I know what it's like. So get involved with coaching and those sorts of things.

00:56:43.000 Not only be, be involved with coaching, but, but be a mentor, get involved because there's other boys

00:56:48.020 that need help that way. Uh, but this is also part of the, this is the selfish reason behind

00:56:52.740 order of man and podcast. I now have access to literally thousands and millions of people

00:56:57.600 that are extremely, extremely successful. Like you guys, I would have never been able to connect

00:57:02.040 with you if I didn't go out and take action. Yeah. And I think that's a key point is that you got

00:57:06.880 to start taking action. You got to start doing some stuff. You got to start putting yourself out

00:57:10.300 there. You got to start providing value for other people so that you can connect with those people

00:57:14.100 as well. I learned a lot of the, the, the, the masculine lessons that I've learned through

00:57:17.920 sports is, was a huge, huge component of that for me. And then in the military as well, but there are

00:57:23.880 people around you. And for you to say, ah, I just don't have that stuff is again, a complete

00:57:29.680 excuse. It's a lie. They're around. You just got to open your eyes and you got to take the first

00:57:34.720 step and you got to be willing to make a phone call occasionally and say, Hey Andy, you know

00:57:38.700 what? I know you're really good at this. That's not something I'm great at. Can you give me some

00:57:43.000 insights to be vulnerable? You know what I mean? You know, a lot of people have that problem where

00:57:46.620 they can't admit that they need some help. Right. You know what I mean? Like, so they do nothing

00:57:50.240 and then they're mad because, because nobody helps them. Right. You know, right. Well,

00:57:54.460 and then I think glorified that's a hard thing for, for a man to do. I think for a lot of guys,

00:57:59.040 I mean, a lot of guys, you have to be a really secure dude to be able to say, Hey, look, I

00:58:03.700 don't get this and I need some help. Right. That doesn't make you a pussy. That makes you 1.00

00:58:07.680 a man. Right. Right. For sure. That's what guys misinterpret. You know, like these dudes

00:58:11.620 walk around all bowed out. Like they're all tough and shit. I don't need anybody. Blah,

00:58:15.720 blah, blah. Dude, that's the most insecure way you could possibly be. This is, this is natural

00:58:20.080 too. I mean, you go back thousands of years. What did we have? We had tribes. Why did we have

00:58:23.080 tribes to protect ourselves, to expand, to grow, to build, to take care of each other. And

00:58:28.900 we did these things, but now we get into this almost lone wolf type thing where it's noble

00:58:34.180 or it's virtuous. And the media portrays it. I don't see that. You go at it alone. It's

00:58:37.940 awesome. No, man. I see that as weakness. I agree. I identify that attitude immediately.

00:58:44.220 Like I see it immediately. Right. Like this dude is weak. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

00:58:49.180 You know, what's, what's even more incredible. And I think super encouraging to guys that are

00:58:53.420 in that situation is that like people like you and, and Larry, I mentioned Larry in many

00:58:58.880 cases, the guys that grew up without dads or without some male figure are way better

00:59:04.300 men than the guys, than some guys that did, you know? I mean, so it's not like, it's not

00:59:08.120 like you're automatically like, you know, consigned to a life of mediocrity of manhood if you don't

00:59:13.380 have some sort of male figure in your life. Of course. You know, it's going to take action

00:59:16.940 on your part though. Yeah. It's like Andy, you've often said that sometimes it's a, it's actually

00:59:20.480 an asset to not have something because you have to work harder for it. That's right.

00:59:24.800 It's always an asset to have adversity. Right. Right. It's always, always an asset to be

00:59:30.080 the underdog. It's always an asset. Yeah. Yeah. It's always good. I mean, you look at

00:59:34.500 the most successful people on the planet are the people who have overcome the most, the

00:59:39.420 people who didn't overcome anything. You haven't heard about them. And the reason you haven't

00:59:43.440 heard about them is because they're not worth anything. Right. Right. They don't have any

00:59:46.880 lessons to impart and wisdom to share with you. And dude, most people look and you know,

00:59:53.100 and I spoke about this recently as well. They look for the easiest way to go. When

00:59:57.340 in reality, if you're presented with two paths and you've got one that's easy and

01:00:01.140 one that's hard, you should take the hard path. And people, people say, Oh Andy, why

01:00:06.220 the fuck would I do that? Because that's, what's going to make you stronger in the long

01:00:09.640 run. Right. And you have to adopt that mentality that I'm trying to win longterm. I'm not trying

01:00:16.220 to just get by today. It's the short game versus the long. Exactly. Yeah. The easy path is

01:00:20.520 good for the next hour or the next year. Yeah. What about the next 40 years? That's

01:00:23.840 right. Yep. And dude, everybody's guilty of it. I mean, I'm guilty of it. I mean,

01:00:27.020 dude, I'm working like we talked about the transformation thing. We're doing this big

01:00:30.420 thing at first form right now. My transformation starts today about, you know, being real with

01:00:35.260 yourself. You know, like I've, how many times over the last two years when I've gained 60

01:00:40.000 pounds, did I take the fucking easy road? Of course. Every time. Right. You know what I'm

01:00:43.980 saying? But I know I took the easy road every time and I could be honest with myself and

01:00:47.640 say, dude, now you fucked yourself and you're going to have to go, you're going to have to 0.99

01:00:51.220 take the really hard road now. Yeah. And that's, that could go for your physical, it could go

01:00:55.120 for your financial, it could go for your relationships. It could go for anything, you know? And we

01:00:59.960 all, none of us are a hundred percent strong a hundred percent of the time. In fact, I would

01:01:05.880 argue that everybody has their areas. They struggle and everybody has their areas. They need

01:01:10.360 help. And I think being a great man is being able to say, Hey, look, I am really having

01:01:15.980 trouble in this area and trying to find somebody that is stronger than them in that area to

01:01:19.920 help work, help them work through. I agree. There, there is not, it's not appealing or

01:01:26.200 attractive or beneficial in any way to be the guy who is everything to everybody. And

01:01:31.980 um, dude, we all, all of us, we look at that dude and we're like, yeah, right, dude. Yeah.

01:01:37.020 You know, you know, he's full of crap. All of us know that all women know that women are 0.99

01:01:41.140 like, dude, this guy's what the fuck? You know what I mean? So like the macho thing

01:01:46.100 is not like, I want to clarify this because that a lot of people think being a man is being

01:01:50.620 like overly macho. Right. I mean, what do you say about that? Yeah, no, it's not. It's

01:01:54.540 a, it's, it all comes back to again, just taking ownership of your life, finding vulnerabilities,

01:02:00.520 improving those things. I think the world, I don't want to say conspiring, but I think the

01:02:05.000 world wants to teach you things. And so some people say world, but if you're, if you have

01:02:10.480 faith, you might say God, but somebody's transpiring to teach you things and you're going to learn

01:02:16.240 the lesson at some point. And if you keep making the mistake or you don't find people to help

01:02:20.080 you with that lesson, or you can't figure it out yourself, you're going to keep repeating

01:02:23.140 those lessons over or those mistakes over and over and over again. And the only difference

01:02:28.540 is, is that that problem compounds the longer you delay it. Right. No question that you wait.

01:02:34.740 So address it now. And this is what it comes down to being, being, being a man, be a man,

01:02:38.900 right? We hear that term man up, man up doesn't mean the macho thing that you're talking about.

01:02:43.520 Man up means face that challenge head on, look at it straight in the eye, figure out what you

01:02:49.200 need to do to overcome that obstacle. And when I say man up, that's what I'm talking about.

01:02:52.960 Right. And, and realize too, like man up, you're not going to be great at something when you start

01:02:58.480 it. When you start a business, you're not going to be, you know, Steve jobs. When you start a workout

01:03:04.560 program, you're not going to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. Right. You, you have to be, you have to be able

01:03:09.040 to accept, you know, and humility had be humble enough to say, you know what, I'm just starting

01:03:14.820 out, but I'm going down this path. Right. You know, and, and, you know, we talk about the different

01:03:20.420 traits that make and create respect for a man, dude, being humble and saying, Hey, I am just starting

01:03:26.800 this, but I'm going to do this. Dude, you have no, that creates a million times more respect

01:03:32.920 from the people around you than the guy who's like, Oh dude, I fucking, I'm not doing that

01:03:37.500 or I'm going to do that. I'm going to be the best or blah, blah, blah. That's stupid. You

01:03:41.400 know what I mean? The typical man shit that a lot of guys quote, I'm saying quote unquote

01:03:45.380 man shit. Right. You know, there's a, uh, there's a Latin phrase that I, I really, really like

01:03:50.400 and it is, I will find a way or make one. And if finding a way means that I have to be

01:03:58.140 humble and reach out to Andy or reach out to this guy or reach out to this person, or

01:04:03.340 I need to put aside my pride, right? Find a way or make one, whatever you have to do to

01:04:09.620 overcome the task at hand is what's going to distinguish you as being a real man. Yeah.

01:04:13.940 Yeah, man. It's, it's, it's a good thing to think about. I know like you asked me,

01:04:20.380 this on your podcast, you know, what does it mean to be a man? So I'm going to ask you

01:04:24.380 that too, because you've heard this from countless numbers of guests. You've heard this perspective

01:04:30.200 from, um, from, you know, on every podcast, Ryan asks at the end and all fairness, he gives

01:04:37.660 you the hour to think about it. I do. I try to, he asked me in the beginning, or I'm going

01:04:41.120 to ask you this question, but I want, cause I want you to think about it. And the question

01:04:45.280 is, what does it mean to be a man? And I, and I had honestly, and I was honest, I had never

01:04:50.320 really thought about that. You know, I, I never, I never thought about it. Like, I don't,

01:04:57.280 I don't know why I just didn't think about it. Um, but hearing the, the, the, the perspectives

01:05:04.480 that you've heard and hearing and developing your own perspective, what does it mean to

01:05:10.160 be a man? I think we've been talking about it for an hour or whatever it is today. So

01:05:14.440 accept responsibility for yourself, become self-aware of your actions and what you want

01:05:19.280 to be. And then the other component of that though, is taking care of those that you signed

01:05:24.540 up to take care of. Right. So for me, for example, I signed up to take care of my wife.

01:05:28.700 Right. I signed up to take care of my kids. I signed up to take care of my employees. I signed

01:05:34.120 up to take care of some kids in my neighborhood. Right. And so part of me being a man is being

01:05:40.080 responsible for them, being those obligations. Absolutely. Right. And, and, and, and we have

01:05:44.920 a term in our church, magnify your calling, which is to not just sneak by with the minimum

01:05:49.860 required effort. Right. But to do everything you absolutely can with all of your heart and

01:05:54.560 all of your energy to make yourself a success, your family's success, your business's success.

01:05:59.960 That's what it requires. Right. Yeah. I think, uh, another thing I like, uh, you know,

01:06:05.280 is, is fulfilling your obligations. You know, I think keeping your word is such a huge part

01:06:10.540 that people lack these days. I think that would add that to that. You know, it's, if

01:06:15.400 you say you're going to do something, do it right. You know, if there's some reason that

01:06:18.700 you can't do it and you can't do what you said, make it right somehow. You know, I think

01:06:24.160 fulfilling obligations is a big part of, of, uh, and we talked about this last night

01:06:28.260 too. I mean, your ultimate goal, tell people a little bit about your ultimate goal, about what

01:06:31.780 you're wanting to do with order of man. My goal is to create the world's largest

01:06:35.000 fraternity. I don't care if you call it a fraternity or a society or an organization

01:06:39.420 and like, yeah, paddling each other on the butt. No, no. We're talking about guys getting

01:06:45.540 together virtually being part of this community, getting involved, being vulnerable, being willing

01:06:51.020 to share what's working, being willing to share what isn't working, uh, gaining knowledge

01:06:55.980 and power and strength from what everybody else has gone through and supporting and uplifting

01:07:00.300 each other. Right. Could you imagine if we cared about our neighbors and we cared

01:07:04.980 about our community and we cared about this country as much as we care about ourselves

01:07:08.720 sometimes? Right.

01:07:09.400 I mean, we'll do things for ourselves, but we won't do things for our neighbor who happens

01:07:13.500 to be struggling with something. Right.

01:07:15.020 Why, why is that? And if we can uplift that person, then that person is going to uplift the

01:07:20.240 next person. That person is going to uplift the next person. It's going to be insane.

01:07:24.160 It's going to be crazy. It's going to be awesome.

01:07:25.860 Yeah. Can I, can I also add that there are seriously practical economic benefits from that?

01:07:31.240 Somebody just, somebody just told me the other day that, that, uh, right now in 2016, we spend

01:07:36.520 millions of dollars, uh, hiring or and employing social workers whose sole job is basically to

01:07:43.940 check on old people to make sure that they haven't died because they live alone. 50 years 0.98

01:07:48.180 ago, we didn't even have to do that. Why? Because people checked on each other.

01:07:52.660 People did the right thing.

01:07:53.380 Yeah. They did the right thing. They checked on each other. So, so, I mean, it's not just the

01:07:57.700 right thing to do, you know, being a good man. I mean, there are economic benefits or,

01:08:01.860 you know, relational benefits, all sorts of things.

01:08:03.920 Dude, the economic benefits go far beyond what you're talking about. Okay. Being a good

01:08:07.880 person, being a good man. And like, if you're a woman, there's be a good woman. Okay. It's

01:08:11.720 not just, no, these principles apply to being a good woman too. So if you're a woman and you

01:08:16.680 know, you're listening, it's the same thing for you guys. Um, you know, we're talking about

01:08:21.280 core value principles of being a good person. Um, the, the, the economic benefits of doing

01:08:28.640 that. That's what I've been talking about for, for years. Okay. It's when you bring

01:08:34.260 value, you get value back. All right. And if you can come out and help, you know, and

01:08:39.940 every time I say this, man, you know, it's not about selling, it's about helping dude.

01:08:44.320 People do business with people that they like. They do business with people that they respect.

01:08:47.900 They do business with friends. And when you go out in your community and let's say you're

01:08:51.780 a small business owner and every big business started in a small business. So if your goal

01:08:56.380 is to own a big business, you know, this doesn't start somewhere, right? You've got to start

01:09:00.180 at grassroots and you know, um, the, the community support you create is not going to be from asking

01:09:07.000 them for support. It's going to be from contributing to each and every one of those people in every

01:09:13.300 way that you can over the course of time. And a lot of people don't put that together.

01:09:17.560 You know, it's, it's doing things, helping somebody move, uh, helping them start their

01:09:23.240 business, giving them a shout out on your social media. Right. I mean, you know, uh, going to the

01:09:28.740 hospital when they, when their kid was born, caring about the people around you and immediately

01:09:33.720 in your community. If you want to start a small business, that's where it starts. Yeah.

01:09:38.200 So, I mean, the economic benefits of being a good person and creating value and doing the

01:09:41.980 right thing there, it's not a, it's not a, it's not the icing on the cake. It's the foundation

01:09:47.080 that you're building your whole entire life upon. Well, they go along the same thread of that. I

01:09:52.420 think when we talk about the economic implications of, of what it is we're talking about today,

01:09:56.680 I think it's easy for us to by default and naturally go to less people be in prison and

01:10:02.640 there'll be less welfare and things like that. But, but what you're talking about here is that

01:10:06.660 if I don't serve these people, who is not going to create a business? Who is that person not going

01:10:13.620 to be able to hire? Who, what problem is that person not going to be able to solve? Because

01:10:18.200 you weren't willing to step up for your neighbor and do what they needed help with. You're, you're,

01:10:24.700 you're not just eliminating cost because we have now lost opportunity costs, which is what is the

01:10:31.720 potential of a human, right? Unlimited. If you can allow them to tap into it. And a lot of people

01:10:37.500 hear what I'm saying and they think, Oh Andy, well, that's just manipulation. You're just doing

01:10:40.800 that. So it serves yourself. No, cause it serves everybody. Right. You know what I mean? And

01:10:45.260 everybody, you know, we call them the asterisk holes. Everybody can find fault with everything,

01:10:50.220 right? Like there's always an asterisk to everything. And there's going to be people who hear what I just

01:10:54.460 said a minute ago and they're going to be like, Oh, you're just manipulating. Isn't that just

01:10:57.440 manipulation? You should want to do it without expecting anything in return. Yeah. You don't

01:11:01.420 expect anything in return. I'm just telling you it comes right. You know, by default, right? It's

01:11:05.380 just a principle, right? It goes around, comes around karma. I mean, you call it whatever you

01:11:08.780 want. You know, I've just seen too many things in my life that I believe that karma works itself

01:11:17.460 out a hundred percent of the time. Yes. I, I just, you know, some people are like, Oh, that's,

01:11:21.980 that's a Buddhist belief or whatever. It's Buddhist, right? I don't know. I don't know. All I know,

01:11:26.780 it's become an American term. Let's be real. Um, people say, you know, Oh, you know, it's

01:11:32.960 hocus pocus. It's this, it's that dude. I've never seen somebody ever, ever, ever who's

01:11:37.540 successful longterm that doesn't continually do more than what they get in return. I just

01:11:43.380 haven't seen it. Right. You know, and people say, what about Donald Trump? Do you know how

01:11:46.680 many fucking people that guy's helped in his life? You know how much money that dude's given

01:11:50.300 to charity? You know how many causes that guy's built and dude, that guy's helped more people

01:11:54.900 than you or I or anything that anybody that listened to this will ever do to help people.

01:12:01.100 And, and they said, how many people he's hired and how many, how much taxes he's paid and all

01:12:05.480 of the things that he's, yeah, right. I agree. And people don't think about that. They see him

01:12:09.120 driving around in a private jet and they, they think, Oh, rich fuck. No, that dude's done more

01:12:15.200 good than you'll ever do. Well, times a million, but even just strip that, that, and I know we get a lot,

01:12:20.200 we got a lot of people don't like Donald Trump, but I'm just using that as an example. Take any

01:12:23.040 business person. All right. Take Steve jobs, take Bill Gates, any of these guys, it's all the same.

01:12:28.540 They do way more than what they get back. Right. But even just strip out the, you talk about the

01:12:33.640 jet, even just strip that out for a minute. Think about that concept. He's got a jet that has

01:12:39.220 probably two pilots. Somebody built that jet and fed their family because they built that jet. 0.64

01:12:46.360 Right. And then the fuel and what the taxes that were paid from that. And where did he go? Well,

01:12:51.240 he went to this business to help this business grow and that business. And he wrote it to help

01:12:56.240 them. Exactly. So I mean, look, man, people see things the way they want to see them. Right.

01:13:00.640 You know what I mean? But yeah, I know, I know how I choose to see them and I choose to see them

01:13:04.540 from a winner's viewpoint. Yeah. You know, if you can choose how you're going to view it,

01:13:08.200 that's right. That way. Right. Like, look, look at all the good this person's doing. Yeah. And

01:13:12.640 do they not deserve to live a life of whatever it is they choose? I think, I think people like that

01:13:17.700 deserve it and earned it. Guys, if you want to check out this episode on the website, it's

01:13:23.420 themfceo.com forward slash P44. And you can also, of course, listen to the episodes on Stitcher,

01:13:31.660 SoundCloud and iTunes. And I have to ask, I want to ask you a really practical question,

01:13:37.440 Ryan, as you, you know, pursue this whole endeavor of becoming the best possible man.

01:13:42.640 And what are, I mean, just literally give me specific examples. What are some resources

01:13:47.460 like your favorite books, favorite websites, not just for being a man, but being a, like

01:13:51.260 a great dad or a father, um, which is the same thing, a dad and a father, but like throw

01:13:56.140 out some books, throw out some websites. That's a good point. That's a good point.

01:14:01.080 It's not the same thing. Wow. Anybody could be a fucking dad. That's true. Not everybody

01:14:05.640 could be a father. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's a good point. That's a good point.

01:14:10.480 I like that. Uh, let's see resources. Um, or maybe the other way around considering

01:14:15.520 how you want to look at it. We know what you mean. Right. Yeah. Right. Anybody could put

01:14:19.860 a seed up the old tube, you know? Right. But not everybody can raise a, raise somebody

01:14:24.460 to be a man. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Uh, resources, man, that's good. Putting

01:14:29.940 me on the spot. I, you know, I read so much. I'm trying to think if there's one particular

01:14:33.440 book, I just, he told me last night his main resources, the MS CEO project. That's true.

01:14:38.540 Well, I just thought that one without saying he, but what he did tell me after you left

01:14:42.480 when we were driving home is he kind of fast forwards through your stuff to, to, to my

01:14:46.620 little. Oh, he does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just my little interjections in there. Yeah. Yeah.

01:14:51.040 The few comments. That makes sense. I'm just an idiot who uses too many F bombs. You know

01:14:55.600 what? I think the best resource is, is just find the one that works for you. Now I'm not

01:14:58.660 going to give anything specific, but there's so much information about there and you've got

01:15:01.780 to consume it and we don't consume enough. We've got to read books. We've got to listen

01:15:06.400 to podcasts. We've got to connect with other people and just make time in your day, carve

01:15:10.800 out time in your day to read, to listen to podcasts, to connect with guys that are important

01:15:14.960 to you that you want to connect with. I promise your life's going to be enriched when you do

01:15:17.860 that. And your buddy here has a pretty good podcast too. He does. Yeah, that's right.

01:15:21.900 The good dad project, Larry Hagner. So if you guys haven't checked that out, I definitely

01:15:25.280 recommend that. I would like to add to that though, because I think a lot of people only consume

01:15:28.980 information they agree with. I think it's very important to consume information that

01:15:33.560 you necessarily might not think you agree with for the, for the purpose of growing.

01:15:39.000 You know, you need to be able to question your own beliefs and this goes into being self-aware.

01:15:42.940 You know, you need to hear other people's opinions, you know, see where they're coming from because

01:15:47.860 everybody has their own worldview and their own perspective of where, you know, where they lie

01:15:53.940 and how things are. And just listening to shit that you only agree with is not going

01:15:59.340 to force you to grow. So it's important to consume, you know, if you're a conservative

01:16:04.640 thinker, you know, go out and read some, some more liberal minded things. If you're a liberal

01:16:09.400 thinker, go out and read some more conservative minded things. You might not agree with all

01:16:13.220 of it, but try to understand the perspective because that's going to force growth. And I think,

01:16:17.940 you know, I mean, you just look on Facebook and everybody's identifying, let's just take

01:16:22.720 politics for the example. Everybody identifies I'm Republican, I'm Democrat, fuck each other.

01:16:28.440 You know, you're wrong, you're wrong. And they scream and yell at each other. Dude, you're not

01:16:32.440 considering the perspectives that those people have, where they were raised, how, what they were

01:16:37.060 taught, how they grew up. And the reality is, is we're all on the same team. So when you try to

01:16:42.420 only take in the information that you agree with, all you're doing is furthering your ignorance,

01:16:48.020 in my opinion. Right. You know what I mean? Because nobody's a hundred percent right.

01:16:51.400 Everybody has bits and pieces that are right. Everybody has bits and pieces that they don't

01:16:56.040 know that they probably feel like are right. Sure. You know what I mean? Yep. And so, you know,

01:17:01.060 what you're saying in personal development, you know, take time every day to listen to a podcast,

01:17:06.180 listen to a, to read a book, to, to, to dedicate yourself. And I, I find that hour, you know,

01:17:12.040 a day minimum, um, is like one of the major differences that separates successful people

01:17:16.860 from unsuccessful. Right. Um, you know, when I ask unsuccessful, not unsuccessful, okay. But

01:17:21.720 people who want to be successful that aren't there yet, you know, they're like, man, I'm doing

01:17:26.820 this. I'm not, well, how many books you're reading? What are you watching? What are you doing? Oh,

01:17:30.140 I'm watching TV. Yeah. You know, I'm watching this. I'm not reading anything. I don't like reading,

01:17:34.200 you know, that's the shit they say. And it's, it's a dip. You know, if you're looking for a secret,

01:17:39.860 you know, being able to dedicate that time to personal development on a regular basis and different

01:17:45.340 perspectives makes you stronger and that's going to make you more educated, which is going to make

01:17:49.280 you more valuable. So, you know, to you guys listening out there, like to your buddy, like

01:17:55.040 who you said lost $20,000, you know, like I'm, I'm, I was making fun of him earlier, but the reality is

01:18:00.260 he, he's letting something that he doesn't like keep him from learning. Right. You know what I mean?

01:18:05.720 And think how ignorant that is. Yeah, absolutely. You know what I mean? No question. So yeah,

01:18:11.020 I totally agree. You know, just because you don't like something doesn't mean you won't learn

01:18:14.240 something. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Only what I've experienced, even if it's something you

01:18:18.520 don't agree with, you're going to do one of two things. You're going to walk away with a new

01:18:20.920 perspective and some new information or it's going to reinforce your, reinforce your, your position.

01:18:25.860 Right. And you're going to, and both is a win. Right. Exactly. You're one is a win. You're not

01:18:29.400 going to lose time by spending it, listening to other sides, you know, ideas. Right. Right. So

01:18:35.340 which, which I would add just, I mean, this is what you're saying. Real men don't get easily

01:18:39.980 offended. They can, they can sift through the good and the bad. They can respond to something that

01:18:43.640 they disagree with and they're not threatened. Well, I told you guys about the first time

01:18:47.980 I heard your show, like I turned your show and I remember exactly where I was. I saw

01:18:51.680 this show on new and noteworthy. I'm like, Oh, let me listen to this. And I pulled it

01:18:54.240 up. I'm like, what? Who is this guy? Right, right, right. Is this guy for real? Right.

01:18:57.540 And I listened to it. I listened to it and I'm like, yeah, he's kind of right with this

01:19:00.560 stuff. I listened to a little bit more. I'm like, yeah, right. Yeah. This guy's right

01:19:04.040 on. Right. And so, yeah, exactly. Well, and the thing is, is like, you know, like

01:19:07.880 let's say, let's just use the cursing. Cause that seems to be the thing people, um, they

01:19:12.640 don't like that. Some, I mean, most people listening like it, but you know, or

01:19:17.000 at least, you know, it doesn't offend them. Right. But let's, let's be real.

01:19:22.080 Okay. That's how I speak on microphone in person in front of 150 Mormons. It 0.70

01:19:28.660 doesn't matter. That's who I am. And that's how I speak. And if you, if that

01:19:33.860 gets in the way of your being able to learn the lessons that, that we talk about

01:19:37.420 here with our guests and, and you know, that's something that's, that's going to

01:19:41.300 keep you back now forward. You know what I mean? And you have to look past

01:19:45.100 certain things sometimes, you know, maybe you don't like the way somebody

01:19:49.140 runs their business. Maybe you don't like the posts they make online. You know,

01:19:53.340 there's people that I see posts on the internet all the time that, that, that I

01:19:57.180 don't like, but there's still lessons to be learned there. You know what I mean?

01:20:01.280 And, um, the old saying is even a broken clock is right twice a day. I, I, I live by

01:20:06.280 that. It's, it's, it's even people that you think are fundamentally wrong or

01:20:10.740 broken. They're still going to be right sometimes. Well, no. And like, Oh, I, I

01:20:14.020 get this a lot too. People are like, Oh dude, you curse just to be cool. No,

01:20:17.100 that's just how I speak. Yeah. That literally is, you know, and, uh, you might

01:20:22.100 be, um, you know, like Emily's dad, like Emily's dad is one of the best men that

01:20:28.540 I know. Dude, he's a hardworking guy. He's, he's responsible. He sets a great

01:20:32.720 example. You know, he doesn't curse. I still cursed and, and he, he'll curse

01:20:37.480 sometimes, but it's like when he's really mad, you know? But the point

01:20:40.680 is, is, you know, he doesn't say, Oh Andy, you're a shithead for cursing.

01:20:45.140 He just says, you know, that's, that's, I choose not to. And that's how you

01:20:48.140 choose to. And that's just it. And you don't need to change it for me. I

01:20:50.880 don't curse either. And I don't need to change it for you. Right. Exactly. And

01:20:54.000 both of us can have a great conversation. Right. Exactly. But you know, when

01:20:57.980 you cursing is just the example we're using, you know, a lot of people look at way

01:21:04.140 more petty things than that. Like a lot of people won't listen to people because

01:21:07.460 like, and let's just be real. They won't listen to a guy speaking because he's

01:21:10.680 black. Yeah. And they think he's a liberal or they won't listen to a guy. They

01:21:14.280 won't listen to quote unquote rich white guy, Donald Trump, because I'm black.

01:21:17.800 Right. You know what I mean? Right. How much are we leaving on the table by doing

01:21:20.560 that as Americans? Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it's ridiculous. So I would encourage 1.00

01:21:26.140 anybody listening to this, you know, even if, you know, even if it's something you

01:21:32.520 think you might not agree with, don't be afraid to consume something anyway, because

01:21:36.380 it's going to help either. Like you said, it's going to reinforce your perspective

01:21:39.440 or it's going to sit and makes you say, Hey, if you're man enough. Yeah. Humble

01:21:44.020 enough. Right. It's going to make you say, Hey, you know what? I hadn't really

01:21:47.140 thought about that. I hadn't really thought about what it's like to be a, uh, to be

01:21:51.940 somebody who was raised this way or raised that way. You know, I hadn't

01:21:55.380 considered that. Right. Cause we're all different, man. We all see things

01:21:58.640 different. Right. So Ryan, as we approach the home stretch, I want to go way back

01:22:03.020 to something you said earlier and just kind of piggyback on it. And I want to hear

01:22:06.000 what you have to say about this. So you said that one of the things you tell the

01:22:09.300 guys all the time is, you know, figure out what you want and then, you know, go

01:22:12.880 do it. And of course, get this all the time from young guys, especially young guys.

01:22:17.460 I don't know what I want. And one of the things that I've told a lot of young guys

01:22:20.860 that I've, you know, met and been friends with over the, over the years is dude, you

01:22:25.300 don't need the plan for your life, but you need a plan. Right. You agree?

01:22:29.520 Totally agree. So I've got, I get a question a lot of times, what does order

01:22:32.700 man look like in five years or what does it look like in 10 years? And if I'm

01:22:35.840 being truthful, the answer is, I don't know. I don't know what it's gonna look

01:22:38.540 like next week, let alone in five years. I know what I want it to look like. I

01:22:42.160 know what I want to do and I'm willing to work towards it. But you know what?

01:22:45.060 Something's going to happen this afternoon or tomorrow that's going to change

01:22:49.180 my perspective on the way I run my business or the way my family operates or

01:22:54.420 whatever it may be. And I've got to be willing to adapt, but you're never going

01:22:58.380 to figure out what you want out of life unless you're willing to take at least

01:23:01.620 one step. Right. Just take the first step. That skill that you're talking about,

01:23:05.880 that is entrepreneurship. Yes. Okay. What you're, and this is an

01:23:09.840 entrepreneurship show today. We talk about some culture issues, but what you just

01:23:15.440 said, this is the perfect example of how the principles of entrepreneurship

01:23:19.680 apply to your life. Okay. Entrepreneurship is no different than what you just said

01:23:24.460 is figure out a plan, move towards that plan. And along the way, things are going

01:23:31.320 to happen and you're going to adjust your path left or right or up or down to get

01:23:36.280 towards where you want to go. And just moving towards where you want to go, that

01:23:41.600 plan that you think that on the first day will evolve into something else in two

01:23:46.960 years. And then it'll evolve into something else, two more years. So to say

01:23:50.520 this is exactly where I want to be is okay, but you have to understand that

01:23:54.460 that's going to change and your path is not going to be straight. I think people

01:23:58.500 think that about starting a business that they need to have this perfect plan

01:24:03.100 and this perfect path. It's going to have no road bumps and I'm going to go from

01:24:07.280 A to Z perfectly. And it just doesn't work that way and doesn't work that way

01:24:12.040 with your wife either. Right. Things are going to happen. You're like,

01:24:14.920 somebody's going to die. Somebody's going to get pregnant. You know, somebody's 1.00

01:24:18.760 going to, you're going to have a sickness. You're going to have this. You're going

01:24:21.200 to have that. Your job as a human is to pick the life that you want, not just the

01:24:27.080 business you want and to go that way. And when things don't work out the way that

01:24:32.340 you want, you make adjustments. And that is, it's the same in your life. It's the

01:24:36.620 same in entrepreneurship. And that's why I love entrepreneurship so much. And

01:24:40.280 that's why I love speaking about it because it ties in to everything about your

01:24:44.700 life. You know, it's the exact same parallel. And I don't think a lot of

01:24:48.360 people think of, Oh, a key component of masculinity is adaptability, but that's

01:24:53.040 exactly what you're saying. Just the ability to adaptability is the key

01:24:56.340 component component to life. Yeah. It's being able to accept change, to make

01:25:01.400 change and to move forward regardless of what those changes are. Same thing in a

01:25:06.020 business. And I would add to that to decisiveness. I think a lot of people out

01:25:10.180 there are just unwilling. That's why they never start. Exactly. Right. It's like,

01:25:14.260 well, should I do this or this? Pick one and do it. Right. And if it doesn't work

01:25:18.720 out, pick the other one tomorrow, but be decisive about it and start moving

01:25:23.000 forward. Right. It's, it's, it's, it's paralysis by analysis. We talk about, you

01:25:27.900 know, that all the time. Right. I can't decide what I want, you know, so I choose

01:25:33.040 nothing. The paradox choice. Ryan, Ryan, you told me last night that you're a Mormon.

01:25:37.040 Sometimes religious people have a real problem with this because they're so 1.00

01:25:40.200 paralyzed. They want to know what quote unquote God's will is. And I, one of the

01:25:43.740 monks that I knew in my life had a great saying. He's like, sometimes God wants us

01:25:47.500 to swing at a wild pitch. I agree with that. And he, you know, here's a

01:25:50.660 perspective I have about, so yes, I am Mormon. And here's a perspective I have

01:25:54.000 about God is that we hear things like fate or God has a plan for us. And although I

01:25:59.720 recognize God's hand in my life, I also know that God has already given me every

01:26:05.260 tool that I need to be successful. And now it's my responsibility to utilize the

01:26:11.520 tools that I've been blessed with in a way that's going to enrich my life the way

01:26:14.820 that I see fit because he has a faith in me that I'll do it the way that's best for

01:26:19.260 me and my family, which is a perspective. I think a lot of people think if it's, if

01:26:24.160 it's God's will, I don't subscribe to that. If it's God's will. No, that's, that's

01:26:27.700 hiding. That's hiding. Yes. I agree. I agree. We've talked about that before.

01:26:31.620 Passivity. That's an excuse for passivity. Yeah. And I mean, I definitely believe

01:26:36.140 that, you know, I in my own life try to seek God's will, but you don't use that

01:26:41.160 as an excuse. God wants you to be happy and be successful. So he's giving you the

01:26:44.460 tools. Now use them. Right. I've said this. I think I've said this on the podcast

01:26:48.560 where I know I've said it to you before, dude, you're, you're a dad. You have a

01:26:52.240 son. Do you not want your son to be as successful as possible? It's the same thing

01:26:56.760 to God. Of course. Period. Now, if you go around and, you know, spend your success

01:27:02.280 on hookers and cocaine, he's probably not gonna be real happy about it. Exactly. But

01:27:06.500 the truth of the matter is, is we're responsible for us. And this is where I

01:27:10.600 get really pissed off about people that shit on success and they're, you cannot 0.90

01:27:14.500 fucking help people unless you're successful first. Yeah. You know, Oh, I can go

01:27:19.120 make sandwiches for the homeless. Well, you know what? If you were successful, you

01:27:22.480 could start a sandwich factory for the homeless. Right. All right. So don't give me that

01:27:26.280 shit about, you know, or spend all day doing it because you've got the money to

01:27:29.640 do it. Right. This is, this is really, I'm, I'm actually not being sarcastic. This

01:27:33.620 is what I love about this show. Like we, we cover every conceivable topic and show

01:27:38.180 how the basic principles that we're talking about apply to everything. Yeah. It

01:27:41.660 doesn't matter if we're business or, or, or relationships or religion. And that's

01:27:46.820 the nature of most of my speaking engagements. Yeah. You know, if you guys get a

01:27:50.480 chance to come hear me speak, you're not going to hear me speak about making a

01:27:53.420 trillion dollars. You're going to hear me speak about how to use

01:27:56.240 the principles of that will not only help you become successful in that area,

01:28:00.380 but also how all the other issues tie together as a whole. Yeah. And that's

01:28:04.980 not a message I've heard many people talk about. Yeah. So, or anybody. Well, how

01:28:09.000 you want to, how you want to wrap up boss? Uh, you know what? First of all, thanks

01:28:14.260 for making the trip in Ryan. I appreciate it, man. If you got, yeah, if you guys have

01:28:17.480 not listened to his podcast, you need to be listening to it. Uh, order a man.com.

01:28:21.540 What are your social media contacts? Uh, you can find us on Facebook. I'm pretty active

01:28:26.360 on Facebook, active on Instagram, both that order of man. And he's telling me I didn't

01:28:31.040 We're going to get him on Snapchat. So we'll, we'll probably be looking at that here pretty

01:28:34.620 quick. Yeah. You have a, you have a closed Facebook group. I do. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So

01:28:38.760 if you request access to that, uh, we can get you access, but we're having a, we've got

01:28:42.480 1800 guys in there right now and we're having some amazing conversations about what it means

01:28:46.020 to be. There are however, exceptions. If you have ovaries, you cannot be true. This

01:28:52.380 is exclusive to men. It is. So you're horrible. I am a horrible person. You know what though?

01:28:58.200 We talked about this on the way over here. It's cause you're Mormon. Yeah, that's right. 0.95

01:29:01.240 It's was Mormon guys. Yeah, that's right. I gotta be careful. Cause that's that. There's 1.00

01:29:05.860 a lot of misconceptions. And I'm surprised nobody's asked me how many wives I have yet. Cause

01:29:10.180 I get that. We already asked Sean Whalen. Okay. So you, so you've already. I have one

01:29:14.480 one. That was the joke. That's all I can handle. So you've been warming and you women. Um, 1.00

01:29:19.960 actually, can you take a second before we wrap up just to tell a little bit about the online,

01:29:24.140 uh, group? I think guys would be very interested, excuse me, men would be very interested in

01:29:30.040 learning a little bit more about your, your elite mastermind. Yeah, you bet. So we've got

01:29:33.600 elite mastermind. We do a virtual weekly call and we talk about anything from how to develop and

01:29:38.380 build relationships to how to master yourself to fitness. I mean, everything that's going to be

01:29:43.280 important to men. We talk about, uh, we have accountability partners. I call battle buddies

01:29:47.620 because I was in the military and that's the term we use. So you're actually assigned to another

01:29:50.900 member of the mastermind that you hold each other accountable. You're talking about goals. You're

01:29:55.160 talking about the things that you want and you're making sure each other are doing the things that

01:29:59.320 you said you were going to do. And then we have daily challenges as well. So that's iron

01:30:03.300 councils. Is that, is that closed right now or no, it's open. It's open. So if somebody's

01:30:08.440 interested, I'd love to have them take a look at that. You can learn more. It's

01:30:11.600 order of man.com slash iron council. And you can learn a little bit more about it there.

01:30:16.420 Um, you know, I think just to wrap it up, uh, guys, you know,

01:30:21.160 if you're listening to this and you're hearing what we're talking about, we talk about taking

01:30:27.260 responsibility, um, being self-aware, uh, doing the right thing, you know, don't discount the value

01:30:35.660 of that because I know like when I was a young man, I would hear stuff like that and I'd be like,

01:30:39.260 Oh, that's bullshit. Yep. You know what I mean? I'm telling you as the most cynical,

01:30:43.240 like, like I've gone from somebody that I was very not proud to be now. Looking back,

01:30:49.780 I thought I was the shit back then, you know, cocky young business guy, uh, who thought he knew

01:30:54.160 everything. You know, my business didn't grow until I started understanding the things that we

01:30:59.620 talked about today. You know, I went 10 years, um, making the first three years, making $0. The next

01:31:05.860 seven years, making $695 a month. Okay. And a lot of guys are like, wow, that's grinding. That's

01:31:12.440 grinding. And it is true. It is grinding. But let me tell you the reason that was, and the reason it

01:31:17.600 took so long is because I was not man enough to be self-aware and take care of the things and,

01:31:24.100 and realize the things that we talked about on this one show. So if you're a young cocky dude and

01:31:29.360 you think you're a baller and you're posting pictures of fucking dollar bills and shit on your 0.98

01:31:33.080 Instagram, I'm, you know, like, dude, if you're that guy, dude, you need to check yourself right

01:31:37.980 now because I'm going to tell you, not only is it going to make you a better person, but it's going

01:31:41.240 to make you more money and more success in the long run. And it's going to start today. You know,

01:31:45.820 I wasted a lot of my life, man. I mean, dude, I've never been a bad person. I've just been a person

01:31:50.600 who was very bullheaded, very stuck in my ways, very, um, you know, focused on what I thought

01:31:57.880 the way it should be. And I spent a lot of my life beating my head against the wall

01:32:02.020 because I wasn't open to the things that we talked about today. So, you know, before you

01:32:07.220 discount this episode and think, Oh man, this episode, blah, blah, blah. You probably need to

01:32:10.900 listen to it three or four more times and really let it sink in. So, um, with that being said, guys,

01:32:16.080 I do want to close today with a thank you for all of you guys listening. Um, you know,

01:32:23.040 I want to ask you for something too. I don't ask for things very often, but I want to ask for

01:32:28.460 something today. If you think that the MSCEO project has helped you, cause I get a lot of

01:32:32.740 emails saying this. If you think that the MSCEO project has helped you or, or help change your

01:32:38.320 perspective or, or giving you value in any way, I would ask that you please tell one other friend

01:32:44.500 about it. Okay. Not tag other friends, make a phone call, shoot a text, you know, tell one person.

01:32:52.300 That's all I ask. Um, we're trying to start a movement. We're trying to do a lot of good

01:32:56.520 things for people. And, um, and it's going to start with you guys being our soldiers. So

01:33:01.260 thank you so much for the support. Thank you for all, all everybody that's listening right now.

01:33:06.840 Um, hopefully I'll get to meet you all sometime in the near future. Um, and that's it.

01:33:13.180 All I do is work, work, work, work, ever on the sidelines. I only, hustle, hustle, hustle,

01:33:17.980 never take your day off. I only, work, work, work, work.

01:33:21.740 I don't mess around.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 02, 2016

How To Be A Man, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO44

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