How To Be The MFCEO of Your Family, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO71
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of the MFCEO Project, Andy and Vaughn are joined by Larry Hagner from the Good Dad Project to talk about how he became a better dad and how he built a brand helping other dads become better dads.
Transcript
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what is up guys you're listening to the MFCEO project I'm Andy I'm your host and I am the
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motherfucking CEO guys if this is your first time welcome you don't have to own a business
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a lot of guys are like Andy you run an entrepreneurship podcast but I don't own a
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business well you do run something that's pretty fucking important and it is the business of
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yourself and you need to start thinking it that way a lot of people don't think of themselves as
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a business or a brand but the truth of the matter is is that you are the CEO of you and what we're
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going to talk about here not only applies to running a business but it also applies to being
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the CEO of yourself or more specifically the motherfucking CEO of yourself okay life is
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way too short to not go through it with some confidence some swagger and uh and to be a bad
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motherfucker to be completely honest I'm here with my co-host Vaughn Kohler the pastor of disaster
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Vaughn Diesel uh Vaughn the Impaler we have a number of nicknames with John Claw Von Dom yeah
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Vaughn Morrison Vaughn yes tell the peoples about our guest today well we got uh we got Father's Day
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coming up here and we got a guy who's coming in and he has accomplished a numerous uh numerous
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different things he has solved the challenge in his own life he has met a need in the world and in
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the market and he is building a brand helping guys be better dads but he's doing it in a non
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cheese-tastic way he's doing it in a really down-to-earth and uh edgy way so we have here
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Larry from the Good Dad Project Larry Hagner sorry you have a last name you're not like Madonna
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or Prince I was getting ready for you to say like the cable guy yeah yeah Larry the cable guy but we
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thought it would be really important to uh to because you know Father's Day is coming up and uh we
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thought it would be important to bring somebody in who's talking about dads because I know uh Andy you
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your dad is huge in your life yeah and uh huge for me but here's the deal you know I don't talk I
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don't like luck but I was pretty lucky with who I got as a dad right and a lot of us don't have that
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same uh you know kind of luck you know and I really admire what Larry's doing because what he's doing
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is creating a network for people to become better dads who may necessarily not have had that guidance
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growing up which I know uh just from knowing Larry that that was the case with himself so uh we're
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gonna start off talking about the Good Dad Project talk about why the Good Dad Project and then uh we're
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gonna get into how you're branding it and a little bit of the business side too so uh Larry why don't
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you go ahead and get started and tell people what the Good Dad Project is and how you came to want to do
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this yeah I appreciate that so thanks for having me on um the Good Dad Project really came out of
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my own struggles as a father I mean I struggled I've been a dad now for 10 years and to be honest
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with you I probably wasted five of those years with the wrong mindset and the thing that I love about
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your brand and your show is you talk about being the MFCEO of your life and really my brand is being
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the MFCEO of your family and your own life as well right but it really I mean my story I mean I grew up
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in a pretty chaotic environment I mean everyone's got a story and I don't share this story out of
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pity whatsoever but my mom and biological father were married for a while and then by the time I
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was nine months old they got divorced I never saw him my mom got remarried when I was four um she
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this guy was kind of a complete nightmare to be honest with you he was really really nice when he
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was sober unfortunately he had quite a bad drinking problem was mentally abusive physically abusive and
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then by the time I was 10 uh they got divorced he was gone out of my life and when I was 12 something
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interesting happened uh I had the opportunity to meet my biological father which was pretty interesting
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when you're the age of 12 and um we had a relationship for probably a few months and then unfortunately
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uh that relationship fizzled out so by the time I was 12 from a fatherly standpoint I lost my biological
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father once my stepfather and then my biological father again so at that point I mean I was I was
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kind of devastated I didn't know it then but I know you weren't big on dads at that point I was not I
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was kind of actually done with dads to be honest with you and then from the time I was 12 until the
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time I was 30 my mom married a few more times dated always just this same guy you know a toxic you know
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some sort of addiction involved and what I can tell you I learned two things from my upbringing and that
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is how devastating it is to not have a father in your life but also how devastating it is to have
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a toxic father figure in your life oh man and then the last part of the story really is is what
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happened 10 years ago two things happened I became a father for the very first time and I met my
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biological father again I was actually in a coffee shop here in St. Louis he came walking through the
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door and I have to tell you uh the the amount of nervousness and and awkwardness that comes with seeing
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your father after not seeing him for 20 years and last time you saw him you parted ways I'm happy to say
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that we uh here we are 10 years later it's got a good ending we uh we are we actually are pretty
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close now we have a relationship which is great but what I can tell you is with my own fatherhood
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journey for the like I said the first five years um I had a really tough time with fatherhood I had
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zero work-life balance zero patience zero confidence I like to use this analogy a lot on our own podcast
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which is I got my degree in health and fitness and nutrition so I can tell you anything you want to
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know about the body or exercise or anything like that but when it came to being a father it felt like
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going to work every day as an architect like I had no clue how to do it and yet it's the most important
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job well how do you know anything if you've never witnessed it right you know what I mean and and
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like you said I would just like to point this out and if you're a father you know this if you're not
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a father and you're a young man or woman you might not understand this about yourself yet but most people
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end up where their parents are for a reason because that's what they've observed and you know when you
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become a father or parent and you've grown up in a toxic environment or an absent environment you
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behave as if that were the case and that's just reality that's why most people who grow up they
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their incomes are similar to their parents the places they live are similar to their parents
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their standards for life are similar to their parents and how the fuck are you supposed to know
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what to do with being a dad if you never had a dad exactly I mean and that's that's exactly where I was
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stuck and just recognizing that dude is so huge thank you what I mean yeah and but that's where
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I see so many guys exactly that point that you were you just stated I see so many guys in that rut and
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the the point where I was stuck was I knew exactly everything I didn't want to do and I knew every
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but I was stuck right in the middle but I didn't know how to really tap into my greatness you know I
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didn't know how to get better at this so what I did was is I just five years ago I decided to really
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just become a student of it and just learn as much as I could and I don't call myself a fatherly expert
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by any means I mean I am literally learning this thing every single day I've got four boys just get
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one two yeah four four boys of my own you know I've got a 10 year old an eight year old a two year old
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and a three month old and every day is totally different so when when you have that kind of
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complexity and fatherhood literally changes every day man you've got to arm yourself with information
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you've got to arm yourself and just be open to it open to learning as much as you can about it
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dude I just literally posted on my Facebook like literally right before you came in here
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I'm gonna read it because it's so appropriate for what you just said most people never master
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anything in life because their egos are too big to let them be seen doing something they're bad at
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yeah you know what I mean that's what you're saying and that that's a really good point because
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no one and especially with fathers and I think that's one of the reasons maybe my podcast is so
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relatable because we are very human about it like I'll be the first to tell you how many times I've
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screwed up because it's every single day right I definitely don't have this thing down but but
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that's the thing if you share your story and all the mess ups but what you've learned from it
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that's what really relates the audience to what we're doing that goes for anything man it does like
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it goes for you know it goes for business I mean dude if you're if you don't have that humility to be
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able to say hey I'm fucking learning every day like dude literally and Vaughn you know this and
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Tyler you know this I mean dude I know I'm pretty fucking good at what I do but I'm also the first
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to say hey if I don't know I'll say hey I don't know or if I screw up I'll say I screw up you know
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what I mean and that's part of the deal that's just part of the deal you know and the humility to be
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able to say that not just to yourself but to you know admit it that's a big part of success in
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anything Larry before you get into the meat of what you want to say I I really wanted to say I'm
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I'm really excited about you talking here uh and and sharing your your wisdom with us I know that
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there's probably Mr. Asterix hole out in the audience who's going well what does this happen
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well why are we talking about fathers but one of the things Andy says all the time is part of success
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is bringing others with you and being able to transfer that and who better to transfer greatness
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to and success than your own family and I think there are a lot of people whether men or women
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in our in our audience or our listeners who they will have an opportunity to be if not a father
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a father figure to somebody and what a better way than to listen to what you have to say and and I'd
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like to add too dude that's a great point but dude the seeds of success are much easier planted when when
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people are young right you know what I mean it's a lot easier to instill successful quality uh values
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and habits and and all the things that need to come together to create a fulfilling successful
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happy life you know we're not all about money here I mean we like money but the other things are just
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as important and to put all those seeds together it's just easier to get those in when when somebody's
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small than to try to break the habits when they're 25 right and that's why this podcast
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that's why I think this podcast is so important you might be listening to this and be like I'm not a
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father yeah but dude you don't wait until you're fucking starving to start cooking the meal either
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you know what I mean dude start thinking about it now you know I've been thinking about my family
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which I don't have any kids for you know 20 years and that's why I am where I am because I've let that
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drive me I've let the pretend family that I don't have drive me to get my ass to take care of the you
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know at least the financial aspect I need to take care of right you know and so if you're young and
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you're listening to this and you think oh it's not for me no it's fucking exactly for you yeah
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oops I'm good okay we had a water spill on the set
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so anyway yeah I'm just real excited to hear what you have to say so
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no I think so if you look at our message and if you look at the good yes it's a good dad project
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I mean even my book the dad's edge but if you really look at the content it really yes it's about
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dads but it's really more or less about being a better person about being a better man and how
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does that spill over into other areas of our life besides fatherhood so if you can the thing that I
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found when I when I first went on this journey of self-improvement and trying to be a better man
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trying to be a better father's I've read a lot of parenting books the thing that I didn't relate
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to with the parenting books was I always felt like it was this author this person that was talking
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down to me kind of from like a pedestal and it was like situational parenting and I didn't really
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relate to it the thing that I did relate to and the thing that I've loved for as long as I can
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remember are books and and resources on self-development so basically what the good dad
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project is what the good what the the dad's edge is is it's taking being the best version of who you
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are and looking at that through the lens of a father I mean because if you are if you can if you
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can be a better man if you can grow to be a better person being a better dad is a byproduct of that it
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truly truly is that makes a lot of sense dude on your set what you said a minute ago about them
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talking down to you it's funny that you brought that up because you know my brother's getting ready
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to have his first his first boy uh any day now maybe even today um but we were out to on mother's
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day we were out to uh to eat it was it was him and his wife Emily and I and my mom and uh he just
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kept going on and on like both of them were like man you wouldn't believe how many people that have
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had kids they just try to like tell you how everything is he's like they're they keep telling
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you oh you're gonna find out all you're gonna know and he's and they're so like annoyed with
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other parents right now trying to like tell them shit it's just like hey shut the fuck up mind your
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own business so if you're one of those annoying parents that does that shit to people realize that
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it makes people not like you you know well that's the thing I mean being a parent I mean there is
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nothing that will humble you faster than that because it's constantly you're constantly learning
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on the job and that's that's part of what what we do and why we do it is to give men just more and
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more content more and more information so they can be ahead of the game I love your analogy of you
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don't start to cook and when you're starving yeah man if you can prep and be proactive you are going
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to be better armed for any obstacle that comes your way even when it comes to fatherhood when it
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comes to parenting absolutely I feel like that I feel like that in itself is an issue with society
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it comes along with the instant gratification you know everybody wants everything now but I feel like
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that also creates a situation where most people never prepare for anything yeah you know what I mean
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because they're always just thinking now not just for the result but they never prepare for anything
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big at all like they don't save they don't think about you know the consequences of any actions
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down the road it's just it's it's just society's in a weird spot there's no advanced planning right
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yeah at all yeah like at all and it's like you know people wait till they get like pregnant and
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then they're like oh shit well I guess we better fucking think about being parents yeah right yeah
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so which came first I mean I would in your mind I mean well you take the penis
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you should stick it in the vagina right right right right right don't pull out
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no I question is okay so you basically started by wanting to solve a challenge in your own life
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yeah just had to be a better dad and then so I mean how did this grow from from Larry doing his
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thing to all of a sudden you've got thousands of people you know tuning in to listen to your podcast
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and be part of the you know the mastermind groups and that sort of thing yeah so this this really
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came from my own just frustrated journey as a father I'll tell you that I remember the exact night
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that I that I formulated the good dad project I was this was about five four four years ago my my
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eight-year-old was four at the time and we were getting ready to move and I was just in a really bad
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spot mentally you know as far as I hated you know my job and I just I I was low on patience and work-life
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balance I mean I was I was a pain in the ass to be around I'm not gonna lie so we were getting ready
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to move I was packing up one room and I hate moving more than life itself I was packing up his toys and
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all this stuff and I have boxes literally stacked from floor to ceiling all these boxes and I told
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them like hey whatever you do don't go in there and unpack those boxes so I left the room for like
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30 minutes I come back and there is just shit scattered everywhere and I freaking blew up and I took
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him and I spanked him and I he was just devastated and I was pissed at myself and even my wife my wife
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is probably the most low drama low maintenance woman I've ever known and for her to get her feathers
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ruffled like I knew that I had messed up and she looked at me and she's like seriously like he's four
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years old like he just wanted to get to his toys you don't have to get that mad and I was like shit you
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know and I and I thought back to my own childhood how many times I was hit and I was like exactly what I
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didn't want to do I just did and I went to my computer I went to my office I was a little bit
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emotional I'm sitting in front of my computer and I went on Facebook and I see this tab in the left
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hand side and it says create a page and so I was just like and for some reason it was just these
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words that just came out the good dad project the problem the thing was is the good dad project was
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not a mission to help other men I was the project it was me me was I so I needed all this help
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what I found was is I was like okay every day I'm going to just go on and put something inspiring
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something that I'm learning and the page really grew and then we decided to start a blog and then
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we decided to start a podcast and then I wrote the dad's edge and now it's just massive we have
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thousands of guys we have mastermind groups now a best-selling book on Amazon if you would have
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asked me three years ago if this is what it would have turned into I would have told you you were
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absolutely insane but it is what it is today and it's what we've we're really helping men I mean it's
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been awesome yeah I want to because this is where I this is what I do I want to dissect the
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business aspect of that for you guys okay you guys are always emailing in you're always commenting
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the same fucking shit how do I know what to do do what you're interested in he's the butterfly lover
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exactly you know start something you're interested in start dude I was talking about this yesterday
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you've got to know what your purpose is you know when I walk through the warehouse and I see
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thousands of boxes stacked up ready to go out you know what I don't see dollars people think I see
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dollars and every time I snap it they're like look at all that money you're making I don't fucking
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see that you know what I see I see people who are out of shape getting in shape I see people who are
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overweight losing weight I see a purpose I say hey there is a thousand people right there that we're
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helping today and that's the point okay and and you know Larry didn't just say hey I want to start
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this business or this empire of good dad shit he said dude this is what I'm interested in I'm just
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going to do this and I'm going to share my interest in this and guess what that authenticity and sharing
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that message turned into a business so there's my two cents the other thing you posted a couple weeks
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ago too was a meme that said something along the lines of I don't post fucking mean fawn sorry whatever
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whatever the term is but I don't do that shit that's for other that's for other instagrams but you
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posted a saying that you said uh which was basically having no other option is the best
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motivation or something something like that and I think that was a meme that was a meme yeah so
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so um lack of options right lack of options is the best motivation right and you kind of came to the
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end of yourself Larry and you're like I gotta do this so beyond being interested in it which is one
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component you talk about you also talk about you gotta do this doing he's making income off of this
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this isn't something he didn't start this with that purpose right he started it because he had a
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passion for it he had an interest for it and he wanted to contribute and bring people together for
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this cause and dude that's how businesses start businesses don't start by raising trillions of
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dollars and then having a brain tank or a think tank and come up with a fucking idea dude you do what
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you're interested in if you like lemonade make the best fucking lemonade you know what I'm saying
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that's that's how businesses start okay so all you people who are writing in saying I don't know
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what to do what the fuck would you do if you had to do it for free period yeah you know so anyway I
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just love that because it's such like a great uh it's such a great parallel and and testimonial for
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what we talk about anyway you know so anyway so he analyzes and I organize so yeah give me the to-do
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list like what what's what was literally the first thing so you created the the facebook uh group the
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closed group I assume it was no it was an open page okay so what were the next key steps the
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watershed moments well I'm smiling over here because uh I again I'm very transparent with as far as like
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hey let me tell you how I've screwed up and I don't know if it was a screw up or not but I did not have
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any intent to to grow this as a business it was a hobby you know it was just something that I've
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loved to do I mean this is just something I mean I get chills talking about this stuff because I see
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how much it helps other people but I was the worst businessman possible you can possibly think of when
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I first launched this thing so I did the facebook group that was basically no no overhead whatsoever
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when I launched the website and then I also hired an online coach just to help me launch a website
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so I had no clue how to do that and then um I started a podcast I'm like holy crap there's like
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overhead that goes with this like I probably need to start doing something to generate revenue
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otherwise this mission that I'm so passionate about it's going to last six months and it's going to be
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done at that at that point a year and a half ago I was doing speaking events so that was generating
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some revenue but when we launched the podcast I was like man I need a sponsor I need a sponsor if this
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is going to sustain so I went out and I found a sponsor and we got that done uh the book has been a
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great stream of revenue and now uh masterminds mastermind groups by far are I host mastermind
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groups for men and I got I got to tell you that is the most it's the most fulfilling work that we do
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because I see the men who are involved in that and I see their lives change but I can tell you I mean
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without a shadow of a doubt for the first couple years I was a bad business person when it came to
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this because I had everybody is man yeah that's the thing that's the thing right nobody fucking rolls out
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of bed and is a is a fucking top level entrepreneur CEO it just doesn't happen you know and certain
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people are more adept to certain things right but every person can learn these skills and you went out
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and taught yourself the skills same way I did you know and the fact that you did it with like I had
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guidance you didn't have any guidance I mean dude to me I think that's fucking super awesome you know
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and uh I just but he had desire and drive which is what you talk about all the time and purpose
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yeah you know and and do when you have that purpose and that passion you know people get so
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confused when people say find your purpose find your passion because they're thinking well how am I
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gonna make money what I'm worried about money I gotta pay my rent I gotta pay my bills I gotta do this
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I gotta do that look man you've got to put that shit aside in your brain for a minute and think
00:22:06.440
about what you are passionate about and it will turn into something you know I I uh I think the
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mastermind group you know it's such a testament to technology because where in the history of time
00:22:19.680
have we been able to connect with let's say how many people in your group so we do groups of 10 right
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now we have four groups of 10 so 40 people 40 people okay that are all interconnected have the same
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interests have the same desire to learn have the same desire to get better from all over the country
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or internationally probably we're when could you have done that before now it's amazing you know
00:22:41.380
and and that goes along with our last podcast with farak you know this dude's technology I don't know
00:22:47.560
man like I don't know if I should feel amazed by this because it makes me feel old you know but like
00:22:52.640
I'm still amazed by it like I'm still amazed when I walk in the room and I flip the light on
00:22:56.760
that it fucking comes on right like dude like up and down like 50 times and Emily's like what the
00:23:02.260
fuck's wrong with you I'm like this is cool did you see that yeah like I don't know man maybe I'm an
00:23:06.960
old soul but like the thing is is like it's just that that part of it like being able to connect like
00:23:13.300
that it's just so amazing and it's just the the opportunities are so unlimited you know if you're
00:23:18.740
listening right now you know think about that right like really think about it yeah speaking of
00:23:23.680
masterminds Larry I get dms I get I get emails flooded with with uh sorry it's pm or dm I don't
00:23:31.700
know sorry no it's yeah he's going down on the dm anyway I get all these you know this flood of
00:23:37.860
people because I I help between Kelsey and I we field all the fan mail and we're getting all this
00:23:42.820
stuff for Andy to do a mastermind so you got to convince Andy to do a mastermind we talked we talked
00:23:46.880
about that we talked a little bit about it yeah you know listen I'm not even gonna get into it
00:23:51.940
we'll get we'll we'll figure it out all right yeah let me let me say this back to your point of
00:23:56.440
people writing you right let me let me save you and maybe some of the writers a lot of time
00:24:00.420
when it comes to someone writing in saying like I'm passionate about something but I how do I start
00:24:05.040
this business the the quality of our life depends on the quality of the questions that we ask
00:24:09.380
ourselves this is something that I've learned and I've tried I even teach this to my kids the
00:24:13.200
quality of your life depends on what type of question are you asking yourself so for instance if
00:24:17.740
you're asking yourself how am I going to make money at this that is the wrong question the
00:24:21.780
question really is is how can I create something of value that's going to impact others and change
00:24:27.200
their life right because when the value's there right the money will be there exactly if you don't focus
00:24:32.200
on the money and you focus on the value you focus on the content you focus on I mean like you guys
00:24:37.320
you are in the you're in the health space you change people's lives physically mentally emotionally
00:24:42.600
because we're connected to our bodies the healthier our bodies the healthier we're going to be
00:24:46.500
it's the same thing with being a father if you're going to be a good father you have to arm yourself
00:24:51.000
with good information to be the best version of who you are and that starts with asking yourself
00:24:55.380
and if you're a businessman you need to ask yourself the right questions it's going to lead you to the
00:24:59.540
right solutions yeah especially with being a father man think about how important of a job that is
00:25:04.300
and so many guys just wing it through and they're like oh I'm doing fine well wouldn't it be worth you
00:25:10.200
investing a little bit into trying to what if you learned one lesson isn't it worth whatever
00:25:16.480
you know what I mean like that's how I look at things like when I read a book like people are
00:25:21.160
like well I want to I want to read a book but I don't know which one to read I'm like fucking read
00:25:24.240
them all yeah and and you know what if you find one sentence in that seven hours that makes you think
00:25:31.160
something or sparks an idea or creates a thought that come becomes something dude was that seven
00:25:37.020
hours or eight hours you put in reading that book worth it of course it was you know and I guarantee
00:25:41.740
you dude there's not a book out there that's written not one that you can't learn some one
00:25:47.260
thing from there's it doesn't it doesn't exist well and back to your love affair with technology I mean
00:25:51.840
we're living in a time where nobody has an excuse so if you say well I'm not a reader fine listen to
00:25:56.500
a podcast or or go to a mastermind or watch youtube yeah there's so many resources out there although
00:26:02.580
on the other hand a lot of the resources in the dead space you rightly pointed out we're lacking
00:26:08.060
something which is of course something we talk about is differentiating yourself from
00:26:12.980
the rest of the the field of people out there which you've done really well well thank you it's
00:26:18.020
been it's been one of those things where we are literally paving it as we go because if you look
00:26:21.840
at the dad space out there there's not a whole lot of guys who are doing it so we're literally we are
00:26:26.760
we're making this as we go I mean we don't have any really any track to follow whatsoever do you think
00:26:32.240
that's a pride thing that a lot of dads have they're not willing to accept that they're not a good dad
00:26:37.920
so they don't want to put that out there I think it's an ignorance thing I think people don't think
00:26:42.520
of it as they think it's automatic like it like for you it was an obvious problem because of the
00:26:48.540
way you grew up I think for most people I think that they just think that it's natural just keep
00:26:55.660
going the way that things have been they don't look to improve at things I mean what do you think
00:26:59.980
I'm right or wrong no I think you're exactly right and I think that that's an awesome question comment
00:27:04.220
because that's what I have found over doing this now for the past several years that that is
00:27:08.120
a very intimate thing to men and we don't talk about it we do not talk about this thing so a lot
00:27:14.520
of us you know most men will live a life of quiet desperation I mean we've heard we've all heard that
00:27:19.080
quote and it is absolutely true especially when it comes to fatherhood it can be so incredibly
00:27:22.880
humbling when you don't have the confidence a lot of us feel very very confident in the workplace
00:27:27.980
that's why we we struggle a little bit with work-life balance because we feel that validation that
00:27:32.760
confidence in the workplace and then we come home and we basically kind of get our shit handed to us
00:27:36.660
because we don't know how to handle our kids and our relationships and that kind of thing I never
00:27:40.760
thought about it that way yeah yeah it's very true so yeah it's it's kind of this best kept secret but
00:27:45.500
when you have conversations with these guys it's exactly what Tyler just said which is they have a
00:27:52.120
tough time with it they struggle with it but they're not going to openly tell you that it's hard for
00:27:55.360
them to even say it out loud themselves I mean so that's why I think a lot of times the content the way
00:28:00.680
we presented on the podcast is like hey we're arm and arm with you guys like there are times that we
00:28:06.060
have sucked at this too so we get it we understand the frustration but let me let me show you some ways
00:28:10.520
that we've we've learned and we've done things a little bit differently I think another thing that's
00:28:14.980
relevant is something you posted either today or yesterday Andy where you said that most people's
00:28:18.660
attitude is just showing up like if I just show up and do my work I should somehow get a you know a
00:28:23.880
prize or or get paid for what I'm doing but so many dads I think maybe that's their mentality
00:28:28.940
they're like well I'm not a bad dude I'm showing up I'm not I'm not a deadbeat dad I'm not I'm not
00:28:33.020
like I go to t-ball yeah I go to t-ball but it's like okay great so you're doing the minimums but are
00:28:40.000
you really committed to doing something that is just above and beyond the call of duty to really
00:28:45.420
transform someone's life and really transform your own life and that's the thing I mean most men
00:28:49.880
do do that but they don't want to do that if you really get to the core of what what a father
00:28:55.700
really really wants they don't want to be that they don't want to be minimal but they don't really
00:28:58.960
necessarily know how to do every everything you just described so if you show a guy just some tweaks
00:29:05.240
that they can make in their life because most men if you ask them dude I want to show up to this
00:29:09.480
fatherhood thing and I want to do it with my hair on fire like that's what I want to do I want to look
00:29:14.280
back on my fatherhood journey when I'm on my deathbed and go you know what I gave it every single
00:29:18.720
thing I had and I didn't leave anything on the table so but a lot of men will go to their deathbed
00:29:23.560
being like man coulda woulda shoulda you know I should have done that a little bit differently
00:29:27.740
or maybe I should have done this a little bit differently maybe I should have done this more
00:29:30.640
and I didn't you know and that's exactly what we're trying to avoid it makes sense man so tell
00:29:38.760
us what worked in terms of the practical expand expansion of the brand and then we'll get into
00:29:43.360
you know the talking points for how to kill it not just as a dad but in everything uh so I I think
00:29:49.920
what I have learned and I had I learned this the hard way so the the good dad project I technically
00:29:55.500
kind of have two different brands under the good dad I have the good dad project and I have the dad's
00:29:59.320
edge the dad's edge is is the the title of my book but one of the things I've noticed is if you look at
00:30:04.260
the good dad project and what it was several years ago or a couple years ago it was a bit softer
00:30:09.480
maybe a bit more sensitive and what I found is is that men don't really relate to that men relate to
00:30:14.540
grit mental toughness a little bit of you know the mass a lot of masculinity so the dad edge when I
00:30:20.580
launched that book I really understood that so we we changed up our podcast a little bit we even
00:30:25.060
changed our intros I mean now our logo is you know we've got spartans as our logo and that kind of
00:30:30.020
thing and men really respond to that it's the same message it really is the same message you're just
00:30:35.200
putting it on a platform that just makes it a little bit more receivable and and men think it's
00:30:39.780
cool so they we respond to that a little bit better versus a care bear holding your kid's hand
00:30:44.040
exactly or some phd woman that is not a fucking dad right trying to tell you how to be a dad
00:30:49.300
right the fuck out of here that's true that's very true yeah it's very true fluffy unicorns yeah all
00:30:55.420
that yeah so so what caused everything to take off the most though in terms of the actual platform
00:31:02.780
I would say when I launched the dad edge book last September uh that was that was a very raw book I
00:31:08.940
mean it's a hundred page book but it became an amazon bestseller within 10 days and I think the
00:31:13.760
reason it did is because I the way I wrote the book is I I wrote it as if I was talking to my
00:31:18.300
best friend you know I wrote it as like hey I am not up here I'm with you in the trenches like I get
00:31:23.280
it I struggled with this for five years and I to be honest with you I sucked at it so in order to when
00:31:28.900
you when you clear the air with a reader like that they're like okay like I got someone who's going to
00:31:33.540
talk with me instead of down to me that's why I think the book has really been received so well
00:31:37.780
and it was after the book that momentum started to just completely shift like even in our podcast
00:31:43.780
I mean our podcast guests we've had Frankie Edgar the professional UFC fighter we've had um
00:31:49.000
we've had Carlos Condon UFC fighter we we've had uh Mark Devine Eric Davis Navy SEALs I mean and the
00:31:55.500
coolest thing about the podcast is that when I get on the phone with these guys I've never had to sell
00:31:59.980
one person on coming on the show I've never had to convince them I mean even like Frankie Edgar who's
00:32:04.420
behind a man you know I I told him what we were doing he's like awesome how do I get on the show
00:32:09.360
and I was like man this is so cool so what I'm basically my point is is that men want to talk
00:32:14.920
about this they really want to talk about their own views their own perspectives and they want to talk
00:32:19.300
they want a platform to talk about people in general too will be the first in line to help if they know
00:32:24.540
that your intentions are genuine I've I think that you know um we don't monetize at all and
00:32:32.680
because I don't have to but the reality is you know I've had a lot of guests that just want to
00:32:37.840
be on because they fucking love the mission that we're on you know what I mean so when your mission
00:32:42.360
is pure and you're you're you're it's not just about like trying to monetize and get followers
00:32:47.080
and all this shit you'd be surprised who'll jump in and help paddle the boat you know some big names
00:32:52.800
I mean we've had some big names jump in on ours for you know I mean dude Gary V volunteered to be
00:32:57.460
he's like dude could I be on your show yeah you know that was fucking cool I'm like are you yeah
00:33:02.240
of course and Lewis yeah and Lewis I mean dude it's just uh I think people recognize that the
00:33:08.300
world we live in right now is pretty screwed up need some help need some help yeah yeah and people
00:33:13.160
recognize real dude yeah you know it's your mission has just got to be pure it's another reason why
00:33:19.240
that purpose and passion needs to be first and foremost in whatever you're doing well I think
00:33:24.100
that's why people receive your show so well to be honest because there is no fluff in it it's very
00:33:28.760
very real I mean it's real life it's raw and that's what people really relate to is is the realness of
00:33:34.240
it and dude I try to talk like I would talk to you if we were having beers right you know and people
00:33:38.700
are like man you curse well that's what I do right you know I don't there's no strategy behind it
00:33:46.840
you're still getting people saying stuff to you about that I mean sometimes yeah but if you get to
00:33:51.120
the core of every because I'm an avid listener of your show if you get to the core of everything
00:33:54.720
you guys talk about it's to serve it's to help people it's to help people get out of their own
00:33:59.760
way enjoy life and and one statement you said in the beginning of this show was life is too short not
00:34:04.960
to live with confidence yeah and that's absolutely true yeah you want to go through life being scared
00:34:09.140
of everything and scared of every opportunity and afraid to afraid to go for the job you want or
00:34:13.540
afraid that you don't have the confidence to get that job or go after the girl you want or the man you
00:34:18.800
want or whatever it is the fuck you want like dude we were meant to come here and kick ass you know
00:34:24.580
and that's it and people are so scared of themselves and they think they need permission or they need
00:34:30.640
somebody to tell them it's okay or you know somebody needs to believe in them and the case is you don't
00:34:36.880
need any of that shit you need to make a decision that I'm gonna fucking do this and go make it happen
00:34:41.820
you know nobody can really stop you and the people who spend time trying to stop you are the same
00:34:48.040
people that never get anywhere because you only have so much energy in a day and your energy
00:34:52.860
success is just hard enough to where you have to put your energy in the positive way for yourself
00:34:58.820
as opposed to trying to hold someone else back so I mean dude you don't have to worry about somebody
00:35:03.020
trying to hold you back because they're just going to hold themselves back that that is one of the
00:35:07.040
things too you know you you do something like this I mean the haters kind of come out of the woodwork a
00:35:11.660
little bit but I think it's because there are people out there that just don't want to see you succeed
00:35:15.920
I mean and that's one of the things going back to the whole dad thing I even put a chapter in this
00:35:20.040
in my book which is be very mindful of the people that you surround yourself with there's a chapter
00:35:24.680
called choose your peers wisely it's so important to get the toxic people you know out of your life
00:35:30.240
I mean completely out yeah like zero contact right yeah yeah and and unfortunately sometimes I mean
00:35:36.440
even with my upbringing those toxic people showed up as family you know and and that happens man yeah
00:35:41.580
yeah so that that absolutely happens but in order to be the best version of who you are you've got to
00:35:46.720
be around people that will build you up now I'm not talking about people who are going to be fluffy
00:35:50.580
and pat you on the back but people are going to challenge you people who are going to be challenging
00:35:54.660
you because they want to see you succeed they want to see you become better right yeah dude I mean
00:36:00.280
I've had to cut my circle way down I mean way down even family way down you know because dude and we've
00:36:08.260
talked about this before people come up and they they underhandedly insult you like oh you still
00:36:13.000
got that little vitamin shop yeah motherfucker I still got that vitamin shop you know what I mean
00:36:17.840
yeah like just shit like that you're still trying to be Tony Robbins right exactly yeah that's what it
00:36:22.240
is now that's what it is now you know and dude I just so I just keep to myself do my thing
00:36:27.340
and those same people you know they're eventually like oh I'm so proud of you fuck you man you know
00:36:33.300
what I mean like dude I'm like the kind of person I don't forget shit anyway so when people make
00:36:36.960
comments to me I remember them forever and then like when I want to quit I fucking think about
00:36:41.460
that I'm like fuck that guy I'm not quitting you know yeah but anyway um drop some science on us
00:36:47.740
Larry what do we need the talking points best best insight you've gotten from some of your uh
00:36:52.800
some of your uh your guests so obviously the principles are transferable to anybody but
00:36:59.500
give us the best nuggets the best nuggets for sure are uh again I'll go back to the quality of
00:37:05.500
your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself I mean if you ask yourself weak
00:37:09.740
minded questions any question that you ask yourself and we always default to this in our
00:37:13.320
to let yourself off the hook yeah or to be like why can't I or why me why does this have to happen
00:37:18.640
to me if you're asking yourself questions like that in any situation it's the wrong question the right
00:37:23.400
question is is how can I or what is it going to take for me to do x you know I mean those are the
00:37:29.460
right questions so in any situation even with our kids I even teach this stuff to my kids
00:37:34.000
you know which is if my kids fail at something instead of berating them for failing my question
00:37:39.920
to them is like okay hey you know you you struck out or you lost the match or you got an f on that
00:37:43.760
test you got an f on the test so what do we need to do to make sure we don't get an f next time
00:37:48.520
you know and then they start thinking instead of me just lecturing them they start thinking well
00:37:52.260
I guess I better study more okay well when is the best time for you to study well I think the best
00:37:56.020
time for me to study is in the morning because you know at night I'm tired okay so what we're going to
00:37:59.840
do the next time you have a test we're going to get up early and we're going to study I mean just
00:38:03.580
things like that just empowering questions that lead you to better solutions dude that's that's
00:38:07.660
not just a trait of a dad that's a trait of a leader you know what I mean that's that's a pure
00:38:12.600
leadership quality that you have to develop if you're going to run a company of any kind or develop
00:38:19.120
to become a leader of any kind you know a coach an athlete you know an entrepreneur you've got to be
00:38:28.560
able to get people to understand and and come up with the answers to their own questions because
00:38:33.460
dude there's a big fucking difference between telling somebody hey you need to do this versus
00:38:38.640
asking them hey what do you think they need to do and them coming up with that same answer
00:38:42.640
big difference you know my one of my favorite things to do is as a ceo is to ask people when they
00:38:49.080
come to me well hey what you know hey andy blah blah blah well what do you think we should do
00:38:53.140
you know and then if they don't get it like the first two or three times then I tell them
00:38:57.520
you know but and I don't tell them like hey you need to do this I tell them like it's more like well
00:39:04.160
don't you think something like this would make sense and then they're like oh yeah and then we
00:39:07.960
could do this and they build on it it builds our confidence you know um I never thought about that
00:39:13.540
in terms of like to your kids because I don't have any kids you know but it's it's definitely easy to
00:39:18.620
lecture them and even even ourselves I mean we'll get in that in that mindset of like well maybe I'm
00:39:23.600
just maybe I'm just not enough of a father for them to teach them these lessons well it's like
00:39:27.120
well you're asking the wrong questions ask the right questions the empowering questions the other
00:39:31.340
thing that we always hear about all the time is patience you know most men will struggle with
00:39:35.020
patience and that's really just a matter of again asking yourself the right questions when we get
00:39:39.560
frustrated when we're in the heat of whatever obstacle it is whether we've had a long day at work and
00:39:44.840
our kids want you know we have meltdowns at home and whatnot it's literally asking yourself the right
00:39:51.200
question in the heat of the moment as well so instead of blowing up and like for instance when
00:39:55.540
I spanked my son I could have easily have paused and said now wait a second what do I want to do here
00:40:00.260
I don't want to do this but instead I just reacted most men what will happen is is they'll just react
00:40:05.020
they'll just react and then they feel like total shit after they do something after they blow up or
00:40:08.980
whatever I literally see this every single day you know so I think it's ask be able to to create a
00:40:16.200
productive pause in your in your thinking and ask yourself a better question that dude that's I've
00:40:23.160
personally had a really really and I still don't have that master I mean I don't like I still react
00:40:29.560
and not in business you know what I mean it's just uh that's such a hard thing to work on when you
00:40:37.940
especially if you have any kind of fire inside of you you know what I mean if you're a type a driven
00:40:42.220
person it's hard not to react you also have to always talk yourself out of it right but it's
00:40:46.300
creating I mean and it takes so much practice and this is something we talk a lot about on our
00:40:50.120
masterminds is when you're and we break it down of exactly how to do this like mentally I even have
00:40:55.720
a visual like flow chart that I use that actually shows how to do this when to ask yourself the
00:41:00.740
question when you start to feel the feelings of anger panic resentment whatever it is that is your cue
00:41:06.360
to ask yourself a right question when whenever you hear the words why can't I or why me boom that
00:41:11.980
is when you need to ask yourself a better question so Larry we always talk about the importance of
00:41:16.900
being mentally tough and the success you know the successful people are very strong mentally tough but
00:41:22.380
you know Andy talks about um has talked about in the past that everybody you once everybody you
00:41:29.080
admire once felt like a fraud and I think there is a there is obviously a persistent struggle with
00:41:34.480
feeling like a fraud and you know I've I've two daughters as you well know fatherhood is a very
00:41:40.100
humbling thing so what would you say is the first step not so much in in terms of reacting but what
00:41:48.160
if you're just like chronically critical of yourself how would you how would you uh counsel guys to
00:41:54.200
change that we see that literally all the time you know guys are just very there we're self-sabotaging
00:42:00.600
and we do it in a very quiet way and I mean it goes back to I mean we were on a mastermind call actually
00:42:06.200
last night where a guy we he was the man in the middle last night which means we dedicate 30 minutes
00:42:10.580
to whatever his topic is and everything that he was talking about was that self-sabotage talk
00:42:16.180
so it goes back to which side of that voice are you are you feeding fear or are you feeding courage
00:42:21.600
because whenever you start to hear that voice of self-sabotage you're feeding fear you're feeding that
00:42:26.800
that thing that just yammers away your confidence and again we said beginning of the show that that's
00:42:31.000
the last thing in the world that you want to life is too short not to live without it so again I mean
00:42:35.700
I know I'm repeating myself but it goes back to asking yourself the right questions which is when
00:42:40.360
we give you a perfect example um my son two weeks ago uh right before school was out he didn't want to
00:42:48.060
do homework and if I could paint a picture for you guys I had my two-year-old on my legs screaming I had
00:42:53.140
my three-month-old screaming my wife was out on a run and my son was just basically banging on the
00:42:58.320
on the table saying I'm not going to do my homework now here I am I've been doing this good dad project
00:43:02.760
thing for like four years right and I did the very grown-up thing I literally took my fist I slammed
00:43:07.540
it on the table I got nose to nose and I said you are going to do your homework and I mean I literally
00:43:11.740
like scared the bejesus out of this kid but I got up to that point where it was a self-sabotage like
00:43:16.740
why can't I handle this like I got this going on I got this going on my kids crying why can't I handle this
00:43:21.400
and I blew up so when you do have those when you do have those situations where you blow up
00:43:27.540
the biggest thing you can do is create healthy awareness around that and one of the things that
00:43:32.040
I did was I I taught my son a lesson in that moment which I went back to him and I basically said look
00:43:38.940
we all know what you did wasn't right right yes okay so you should have done your homework we know that
00:43:44.740
however the way I reacted was completely wrong I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and I am sorry
00:43:51.060
so when you have like these self-sabotaging situations where you react and you have this
00:43:56.160
knee-jerk reaction it's not all that bad because then you have an opportunity to go back and teach
00:44:01.100
that kid a lesson on humility because there is a lesson to be learned there absolutely when we screw
00:44:05.700
up it's an opportunity to teach our kids hey we mess up too but that's a great opportunity to teach
00:44:09.960
them ownership extreme ownership of your own mistake not only that they they respect you more for that
00:44:15.520
they do you know yeah uh employees are the same way right you know what I mean like if you
00:44:19.960
you know I trust me I've had a million times where I've blown the fuck up you know what I mean like to
00:44:26.200
the point where I was embarrassed about it and I every time I come back and big look the reason I get so
00:44:31.700
upset with you guys is because I fucking care you know what I mean and this and you own it and dude
00:44:37.620
you know that's how you build loyalty you know what I mean it just is you know there's a lot of people
00:44:42.540
who run businesses or are in positions of leadership of any kind that can't admit when they make a
00:44:48.840
mistake and what you're doing there is creating resentment right you know what I mean um it's just
00:44:55.640
owning your own it's taking responsibility it's extreme ownership which is an awesome book by the
00:44:59.580
it is an awesome book I just got done reading that but yeah it's that's a it's a great opportunity to
00:45:03.280
teach that guys we don't want to run out of time before we tell you that hilarious website is
00:45:07.900
thegooddadproject.com and uh his book is the dad's edge which you can purchase actually at the website
00:45:14.460
um facebook do you have a facebook yeah we do so if you go it's actually gooddadproject.com if you
00:45:22.700
go to uh if you go to actually any of our podcast episodes if you go to you can click on one of the
00:45:27.760
podcast episodes in the resources at the bottom podcast episodes are on the good dad project yeah if
00:45:32.460
you go to gooddadproject.com forward slash podcast that's where all of our podcasts are we actually
00:45:37.000
have a link right to our face but we have a closed facebook group which we have about
00:45:40.700
1600 guys I mean it grows by 100 almost every single week we just started not too long ago
00:45:45.880
but uh that's a great resource because it's basically a forum and we have 1600 guys in that
00:45:51.120
in that group with their hair on fire that just want to be better fathers they ask questions they
00:45:55.420
have concerns and it's just a great way to interact with all these all these I think you're you're
00:45:59.540
actually yeah yeah sure yeah I'm a lurker yeah yeah you are I just take in the all the stuff
00:46:04.880
you're a reader I am I am a reader yeah um so and your uh instagram account is at it's just good
00:46:11.000
the good dad project yeah right and then yeah twitter is the good dad project and you can buy
00:46:14.940
you can't buy my book from my site but it is on amazon and actually it should be uh by the time this
00:46:20.360
show airs I should have the audio book available I just approved that so we have awesome dad's on the
00:46:25.500
go man they're busy they don't have they don't have time to read so guys Larry is doing a really good
00:46:29.540
thing and it's really high quality so I really encourage you I've I've read the book it's a
00:46:33.700
fantastic book it's really down to earth it's um it's it's very practical and helpful and there's
00:46:38.760
a chapter in which we don't have time to go into this right now but Larry and his wife experienced
00:46:43.520
just a heart heartbreaking soul-wrenching experience and Larry and Larry talks about that
00:46:49.400
uh in the book and it that chapter alone is worth the price of the entire book and more because it
00:46:55.640
will help you to overcome the adversity that you face in your life no matter what it is and if I
00:47:00.600
could make one comment on that um as we're recording this actual episode uh today would
00:47:04.860
have been his two-year-old birthday yeah so yeah it was uh today's good but we we celebrate this day
00:47:09.980
like my kids we we're gonna go home we're gonna we're gonna have a cake and you know so we make
00:47:14.360
it a good day not a bad day yeah and what was his name Gabriel yeah yeah yeah so guys read the book
00:47:20.220
it's it's a powerful piece of literature so guys I'd like to add too you know I know we have a lot
00:47:27.040
of guys listening and a lot a lot of girls listening that aren't parents yet these principles just like
00:47:33.140
the entrepreneurship principles can apply to your life these principles of being a good dad can apply
00:47:39.420
to you being a good leader so it's worth checking into it it's worth reading and it's worth getting
00:47:45.560
into now like I said before you actually need it um you know I I I don't know I just can't
00:47:53.880
the parallels that you and I have talked about uh it's just so funny because it's like you could
00:48:01.420
take everything all the principles that Larry talks about and put them directly into leading
00:48:06.000
other people it's it's a good thing so you know I'm real happy to have you on man I appreciate it
00:48:11.540
yeah man it's an honor and like I said it's uh it's not necessarily a site or a podcast or even a book
00:48:15.760
on parenting it's more just being the best version of who you are and being a leader
00:48:19.820
true right exactly man exactly nice thanks Larry well cool guys well hey listen um guys we appreciate
00:48:26.860
you we love you the best thing you could do for us if you want to help if you're getting value from
00:48:31.340
the podcast is to share it with your friends um you see the clips that I post on Instagram and Facebook
00:48:36.960
uh any you know anything you guys like the best thing you can do is share so uh oh and you're on
00:48:43.300
YouTube now yeah we're on YouTube so we're gonna be hitting that hard Tyler and I had a meeting about
00:48:47.840
that last night so all right guys we'll see you next time