REAL AF with Andy Frisella - How to Develop 7-Figure Social Skills, ft. Jordan Harbinger, with Andy Frisella

00:00:00.380 I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.

00:00:04.860 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.

00:00:12.480 What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO.

00:00:20.100 Guys, if this is your first time listening, welcome.

00:00:22.380 Welcome. This is an entrepreneurial, personal development, how to kick the shit out of every aspect in your life podcast.

00:00:33.560 I don't think I've ever described it like that, but that's what it is.

00:00:36.820 We're going to talk about a lot of concepts. Some of them will be strictly business.

00:00:42.040 Some of them will be strictly personal development.

00:00:44.740 Yes, we are in the business category, but you don't have to be an entrepreneur to get things out of the show, okay?

00:00:52.920 We're going to talk about a lot of principles. We're going to talk about a lot of concepts that will help you in every area of your life,

00:00:59.100 not just your financial area or your career area or your business area, but also your personal area, your fitness area.

00:01:05.300 All of these things can apply, and that's the beauty of what we do here.

00:01:08.500 So, we don't run ads. I'm not going to bore you with 20 minutes of fucking ads.

00:01:14.940 I am going to get right to the point, and we're going to keep it about you guys, about the listeners.

00:01:19.880 The reason we started this podcast was because I deal with about 200 millennial people that work in my company,

00:01:32.000 and I recognized a need for them to learn the basics of what it takes to be successful.

00:01:38.500 I won't say this is just for millennials, but I will say that the MFCEO project, and the reason we call it a project, was based out of that.

00:01:48.220 We don't believe in the popular concepts of that everybody is special, that everybody deserves to feel good about themselves, that everybody wins.

00:01:58.780 We deal with reality, okay?

00:02:00.740 So, we're realists, and we're going to talk about some shit that is probably going to make you uncomfortable sometimes,

00:02:04.880 but if it makes you uncomfortable, you probably fucking need it.

00:02:07.680 My fee for this podcast and my deal with you guys is this.

00:02:13.940 If you get value out of the podcast, if you get lessons that apply to your life,

00:02:21.000 for every episode that you feel like was value, I ask that you bring me one friend.

00:02:26.120 You could do this a number of ways.

00:02:27.620 You can talk about us.

00:02:28.940 You could tell someone about us.

00:02:30.080 You could make a post about us.

00:02:31.220 You could tag somebody, but if you tag somebody in a piece of my content, please let people know why you're tagging them.

00:02:38.980 This is a completely organic movement.

00:02:40.960 We don't run ads for it, and we do this because we want to make a difference.

00:02:45.460 So, guys, if you could do me that favor and pay the fee, it's on the honor system.

00:02:49.280 I appreciate you guys, love you guys, and I appreciate all the support that you give us.

00:02:54.700 If you want to stay more connected, you can subscribe to my email list, which is andyfricella.com forward slash subscribe,

00:03:02.280 and you're going to get access to the Fricella Files, which is a weekly free piece of content, video content that we do that's sort of like a mini podcast.

00:03:11.540 It's the best way to describe it, but it's practical lessons on how to make some fucking money, which we all like.

00:03:19.000 As always, I am joined by my co-host, Vaughn, the Impaler, Vanilla Ice, the Pastor of Disaster.

00:03:28.680 Jean-Claude Van Damme.

00:03:29.840 Jean-Claude Van Damme.

00:03:32.540 Von Jovi.

00:03:33.560 DJ DJ God.

00:03:35.080 Right.

00:03:35.800 He's known by all kinds of names because he's legendary.

00:03:39.740 Right.

00:03:39.960 Like, what's going on, my legendary friend?

00:03:43.200 You know, whenever you post pictures of your transformation, I actually feel like the before pictures that you post,

00:03:49.940 that you must have photoshopped them to make yourself look really bad because I don't remember you looking that bad.

00:03:57.600 That's because I was big sexy, dude.

00:03:59.280 Well, that's true, but it's also because I was with you every day.

00:04:01.260 You know how when you're with somebody every day, you don't really see?

00:04:04.120 But it's crazy.

00:04:07.120 There has been quite a transformation.

00:04:08.240 Why are you trying to call me fat, dude?

00:04:09.500 No, man.

00:04:10.420 I'm just telling you that when I-

00:04:11.840 Tyler, I think he's calling me fat.

00:04:12.620 Like a year from now, when I have a hundred-

00:04:14.480 I think you are still fat.

00:04:15.840 You're still that fat guy to me.

00:04:17.240 Hey, bro.

00:04:18.100 And you're always going to be that little gay boy.

00:04:21.220 By the way, Tyler, where are your shorts today?

00:04:24.160 Yeah.

00:04:24.640 He's got the ripped up jeans.

00:04:25.240 This is the second fucking podcast.

00:04:26.880 No, the third podcast in a row where there has been no salmon shorts.

00:04:30.160 What happened last podcast?

00:04:32.020 We had an awesome podcast.

00:04:32.400 Actually, it was a good one.

00:04:33.380 There you go.

00:04:34.120 Yeah.

00:04:34.580 Are we breaking the trend?

00:04:35.980 Yeah.

00:04:36.580 Wait.

00:04:36.860 The essence of the salmon shorts is still here.

00:04:38.480 What's coming into-

00:04:39.480 So, I feel like maybe salmon's going out of style.

00:04:42.120 Are you still on the salmon or are you feeling like something else now?

00:04:44.140 No, no.

00:04:44.640 I'm way past the salmon.

00:04:45.680 You were the one that was on the salmon.

00:04:47.020 What's the new thing now?

00:04:48.880 Just fashion.

00:04:49.500 Are you going back to neon?

00:04:50.740 No, no, no, no.

00:04:53.340 What's the new thing, dude?

00:04:54.340 Holes?

00:04:54.760 Just fashion.

00:04:55.440 Like all kinds of holes in your pants?

00:04:56.820 Oh, man.

00:04:57.280 I don't really know how to describe it.

00:04:58.420 Street wear.

00:04:59.260 Street wear.

00:04:59.920 Street wear.

00:05:00.260 All right.

00:05:01.200 Anyway, all I was going to say is a year from now when I have 100 more pounds of lean muscle

00:05:05.740 mass-

00:05:06.340 100?

00:05:06.820 You're not even going to notice it because you're going to be with me every day, but

00:05:09.940 everybody else will notice it.

00:05:12.260 That's when I'm going to get a sleeve.

00:05:14.300 You're going to get a sleeve?

00:05:15.200 Once I get arms, I'll get a tattoo.

00:05:16.620 Do you have any tattoos?

00:05:18.100 I don't know.

00:05:19.300 No.

00:05:19.720 First of all, I could promise you that you would do about five minutes of a fucking tattoo and

00:05:23.660 you would quit.

00:05:23.920 You're probably right, but every time I go to a tattoo artist, they can't do what I want

00:05:28.000 them to do, so it's-

00:05:29.000 What?

00:05:29.200 They don't want to tattoo your penis?

00:05:30.480 No.

00:05:30.760 Because it's so small?

00:05:31.560 I always tell them I want a full-body tattoo of myself.

00:05:33.620 Those micro tattoos are in right now.

00:05:35.460 What are?

00:05:35.940 Those micro tattoos?

00:05:37.000 They're hot right now.

00:05:37.740 Oh, dude, that one dude who's doing those things, that motherfucker-

00:05:41.680 John Boy?

00:05:42.080 Yeah, he's charging like fucking $10,000 for a fucking tattoo.

00:05:45.820 It takes five seconds.

00:05:46.760 He's pretty talented.

00:05:47.680 Vaughn's going to get a little dick on the inside of his finger.

00:05:50.380 No, Vaughn's going to get a little dick on his little dick.

00:05:52.140 No, I'm going to get a full-body tattoo of myself, only taller.

00:05:57.060 Damn, dude, you've been thinking about that for a long time.

00:05:59.440 He's like, did you not hear me when I set that up the first time?

00:06:01.960 Jordan picked up.

00:06:02.400 I'm going to repeat the joke again.

00:06:03.780 Oh, well, I guess I just announced our guest today.

00:06:06.020 Oh, yeah.

00:06:06.300 I'm here, too.

00:06:06.800 So let everybody know who we have here today because I'm excited about this

00:06:10.340 podcast.

00:06:11.280 All right.

00:06:11.660 Guys, we have, and I have to admit, I don't know if it's Harbinger or Harbinger.

00:06:17.660 I knew that was coming.

00:06:18.540 I was like, oh, he must have either not researched it or is going to in real time

00:06:22.580 go, oh, wait a minute.

00:06:23.580 Wait, wait, wait.

00:06:24.060 I can promise you he didn't research it.

00:06:26.120 I did research it.

00:06:27.160 Let's just fucking real.

00:06:27.680 I did research it, but I have, you know, my brain, I'm a three-dimensional thinker.

00:06:31.700 I've always got massive, deep, weighty concepts going on in my brain.

00:06:35.440 Right.

00:06:35.640 So I just had a brain malfunction.

00:06:36.820 Ain't nobody got time to figure out if it's a hard G or a soft G.

00:06:40.140 Exactly.

00:06:40.180 You got it right, man.

00:06:41.200 Yeah.

00:06:41.620 The answer is both are totally fine, and even I switch it up sometimes if I'm trying

00:06:45.760 to get somebody to spell it right.

00:06:47.280 I'll say Harbinger, and if I say it normally, I say Harbinger.

00:06:51.400 But if we pronounce it Harbinger, it's almost like you're a Harbinger of doom.

00:06:55.320 That's right.

00:06:55.840 So for purposes of this show-

00:06:57.260 That sounds badass.

00:06:58.260 We're going with that one.

00:06:59.160 Yeah.

00:06:59.540 Okay.

00:06:59.960 So anyway-

00:07:01.040 But let's be real, dude.

00:07:01.920 Most of you guys-

00:07:02.400 Let's be real.

00:07:02.600 Let's be real.

00:07:03.180 You didn't do your research.

00:07:04.760 Hey, what do you call this?

00:07:05.600 I know you did a little bit of research.

00:07:06.820 I did a little bit of research because you sent me some fucking thing in text message

00:07:09.500 today that made no sense, but I didn't want to show this, but it wasn't good research.

00:07:14.320 Well, I actually thought that you would need no introduction, but-

00:07:17.920 So far, so good.

00:07:18.740 So far, so good.

00:07:20.060 This intro is as good as not having one at all.

00:07:22.560 Actually, my favorite accolade of yours is the Larry King of podcasters.

00:07:30.760 You know what that used to say?

00:07:32.480 What's that?

00:07:32.880 The Charlie Rose of podcasting, and I had them change it.

00:07:35.640 I had them change it.

00:07:37.300 I was like, oh, crap.

00:07:38.380 We got to find another-

00:07:39.320 We got to move away from that guy.

00:07:40.240 So my friend goes, oh, look, I'm doing a Forbes article, and I'll go and throw that

00:07:44.860 in there.

00:07:45.240 Because it was like, uh-

00:07:46.540 Yeah.

00:07:46.740 It's kind of like, he's the Harvey Weinstein of supplements.

00:07:49.820 Wait a minute.

00:07:51.080 Maybe not.

00:07:52.140 All the millennials over there going, who's Larry King?

00:07:54.220 Yeah.

00:07:54.760 It's all right.

00:07:55.160 But anyway, no, Jordan is actually, in all seriousness, if you listen to it, he's got

00:08:00.980 it.

00:08:01.080 He's one of the- I would call you the OG, you know, because you're one of the first

00:08:04.500 pioneers-

00:08:05.620 For sure.

00:08:06.120 Of the podcasting world.

00:08:09.900 But Jordan is, man, you're an autodidact.

00:08:12.560 I mean, you know a lot about a lot of stuff.

00:08:14.920 But the way I would describe you, your expertise really does seem to be social influence, communication

00:08:22.280 dynamics.

00:08:24.160 And you know what?

00:08:25.100 I just want you to tell your story about yourself.

00:08:26.840 Tell us a little about yourself.

00:08:27.820 Give us the five-minute spiel about who you are and what you're all about.

00:08:30.920 So, like many of us, I went to college and I was like, oh, crap, I can't get a job.

00:08:35.460 This is back in 2003.

00:08:37.180 And then I thought, well, the answer is clearly more education, right?

00:08:40.340 I got to go to school more.

00:08:41.340 Well, that's what they tell us.

00:08:42.100 That's what they tell you.

00:08:43.280 And at the time, you know, it sort of made sense.

00:08:45.660 So, I went to law school and then I worked my way through Wall Street.

00:08:49.380 And the thing is, when I was younger, I was decent in school.

00:08:53.240 I was all right.

00:08:54.300 And then I got to college and I was like, oh, crap, everyone's smarter than me.

00:08:57.660 So, I had to outwork everyone, which actually was a better lesson than just like, oh, I'm

00:09:01.340 naturally smart.

00:09:02.140 That's not a good, you don't want kids to actually learn that if it's true.

00:09:05.460 And then I got to Wall Street and everyone was really smart and everyone was really hard

00:09:08.440 working.

00:09:08.740 And I thought, I'm going to get fired from this job as an attorney because they're going

00:09:13.500 to figure out I don't belong here.

00:09:14.760 Classic imposter syndrome.

00:09:17.080 And what I ended up doing-

00:09:18.540 Which we all still have.

00:09:20.040 Yeah, we all still have, at least to some degree, for sure.

00:09:22.860 And I learned, I wanted to learn how to network and sell and close business because I thought

00:09:29.020 that's the way that I'm going to get to the top of the law game, is bringing in relationships,

00:09:33.400 reaching out to people, making friends with people, getting new clients for the firm.

00:09:38.140 And then I started working on that.

00:09:39.560 And the problem back then especially was, you could not learn this skill set from anyone.

00:09:44.740 You either were kind of naturally good at it, which I was not, or kind of like when you

00:09:49.860 were knocking on doors in the original company, like, hey-

00:09:52.400 You learn it.

00:09:53.380 Yeah, you got to learn it.

00:09:54.280 Just go get punched in the face over and over again and it comes.

00:09:57.560 Dude, I hate people that have the natural ability.

00:09:59.500 It's annoying.

00:09:59.920 Like people, I get credit and it drives me insane.

00:10:04.500 I used to have this guitar teacher and I would say to him, I'd say, fuck, dude, you're so talented.

00:10:09.380 He would get so pissed off because he's been playing for 30 years.

00:10:13.220 You know what I mean?

00:10:13.720 Every day for 30 years.

00:10:15.200 And he would get pissed off when I say, dude, you're talented.

00:10:17.180 And I never understood why he would get so mad.

00:10:21.260 But then I started thinking about how I feel when people say, oh, dude, you're so good

00:10:24.920 with people.

00:10:25.440 That's such a great talent you have.

00:10:27.480 It's like, motherfucker, do you know how many times I had to get punched in the face to

00:10:31.080 develop my people skills?

00:10:32.600 Like a decade of getting my balls kicked in every day.

00:10:36.660 You know what I mean?

00:10:37.280 Like a salesman who's really good at closing business is not-

00:10:39.580 I was the worst, dude.

00:10:41.360 It's just, I just didn't have an option.

00:10:42.980 I had to go out and fucking get my face smashed.

00:10:44.900 It's a lot of knocking on doors.

00:10:45.980 Were you like that or-

00:10:47.460 Yeah, I had to learn this stuff to hard work because I was quiet.

00:10:51.020 I was always like, bookish would be a kind way to put this thing.

00:10:54.980 And that was great for showing up for a geometry test.

00:10:59.060 It was not good for closing business in New York.

00:11:01.200 Yeah.

00:11:01.680 And I tried to take classes.

00:11:03.280 So I would take like a Dale Carnegie class.

00:11:05.040 But what I learned really fast was some guy in a sweater vest at the YMCA is not going

00:11:09.860 to teach you how to be like a smooth operating business closer rainmaker because they work

00:11:15.960 at the YMCA teaching Dale Carnegie classes, which is, look, those classes aren't useless.

00:11:21.220 They're great if you're afraid to stand in a room with six guys and go, so the sales data

00:11:26.100 for this quarter, that's great.

00:11:27.700 Start there.

00:11:28.000 That's how I started, dude.

00:11:29.840 Like I started my speaking career.

00:11:31.840 People are like, how the fuck do you, do you ever get nervous when you go up and speak

00:11:35.440 in front of 10,000 people?

00:11:36.720 I'm like, no, absolutely not.

00:11:38.560 And you know, but the reason is, is dude, when I started, I started in front of six guys

00:11:43.580 in the back of one of our retail stores, scared shitless.

00:11:47.180 Shaking with the papers in your hand?

00:11:48.400 Dude, trying to look exactly like that.

00:11:50.980 Exactly like that.

00:11:52.220 That's how it starts, man.

00:11:53.800 Yeah.

00:11:54.140 So like going to the YMCA to speak in front of six people, there's a tremendous amount

00:11:59.540 of value because I feel like most people can't get past that point.

00:12:03.120 No, and most people won't.

00:12:04.340 So they'll feel that and go, okay, fuck this.

00:12:06.500 I'm not doing this anymore.

00:12:07.640 Right.

00:12:07.840 But the truth is when you have to get more nuanced with it, that's when the rubber meets

00:12:12.060 the road for a lot of us.

00:12:13.200 And you can't really learn that as well in a classroom setting.

00:12:16.760 So you'll learn how to remember some kids' names of people.

00:12:20.740 They teach you that like you're walking through the memory palace or whatever, you know, those

00:12:24.160 exercises.

00:12:24.920 They teach you like, I don't know, here's what you do with your hands when you talk.

00:12:28.200 But the problem is if someone's not giving you guys a client contract, if you get fucked

00:12:34.060 over by a supplier or you get a good deal from a supplier, it's not because the person's

00:12:38.860 like, well, he had a firm handshake and they looked me right in the eye.

00:12:42.120 That's not why people like or don't like you.

00:12:44.400 There's more nuanced stuff going on, but you're not going to learn that from a public speaking

00:12:48.880 class with three people or five people who are afraid to go up.

00:12:52.160 You got to get past the handshake phase.

00:12:53.720 It's just there.

00:12:54.280 It's there to set a very basic foundation.

00:12:57.300 Yes.

00:12:57.680 And you've got to be able to run out in the real world with basic skills and learn how

00:13:02.880 to sharpen and evolve those skills.

00:13:04.620 Exactly.

00:13:05.160 Yeah.

00:13:05.480 Like if you take a sales class, they're going to be like, oh, research the prospect, which

00:13:09.560 is valid.

00:13:10.580 You should do that.

00:13:11.880 Show up on time.

00:13:12.960 Yes, you should do that.

00:13:14.360 Make sure that you ask about their personal life, whatever, like those basic things.

00:13:19.100 But what they don't tell you is, hey, when you go and knock on the door, back away from

00:13:23.380 the door three or four feet, especially if you're a guy and the bigger you are, the further

00:13:27.200 away you should back from the door and turn sideways because it makes you look less confrontational

00:13:31.540 and look down at your phone or your paperwork until they answer the door.

00:13:34.660 But they don't teach you that stuff.

00:13:35.940 You learn that because you're like you have a couple of people answer the door and you're

00:13:39.980 standing there and they back up and go, whoa, oh, I'm sorry.

00:13:42.300 Hi, can I help you?

00:13:43.300 Yeah.

00:13:43.460 And you go, huh, I got to fix that problem.

00:13:45.940 That's why retail is so valuable, dude.

00:13:47.640 Yeah.

00:13:47.920 Retail is a great place to hone your personal skills because I was fortunate to come up

00:13:53.380 in that area of business because you get literally dozens of chances a day to connect with people.

00:14:00.380 You know what I mean?

00:14:00.620 And you know when it goes right because they buy something and they're excited.

00:14:03.920 When they leave, they're posted on the internet like, oh, dude, I just had this great experience

00:14:08.500 at this store.

00:14:09.740 You know, people ask me, like kids are like, what should I do to learn these skills?

00:14:13.840 I'm like, go get a fucking job in retail.

00:14:15.420 Yeah.

00:14:16.220 You know.

00:14:16.820 Getting rejected and having people say like, you don't know what you're doing or having

00:14:20.580 your boss lay into you.

00:14:21.920 And the numbers never lie with sales, too.

00:14:23.960 You can't be like, I'm really good at this.

00:14:25.540 Well, I haven't closed anybody, but I'm pretty good at this.

00:14:27.800 You are not good at this.

00:14:28.840 And that's okay.

00:14:30.200 And you will get plenty of chances to blow it and get better and better and better.

00:14:33.760 Yes.

00:14:34.120 Anything that you can do to sell something, especially if you're selling somebody else's

00:14:39.820 thing, because then you're not going to be like homeless if you can't do it right away.

00:14:42.560 Yeah.

00:14:42.880 Then they'll teach you things that they've learned.

00:14:45.740 That's such a good job to have.

00:14:47.160 I worked at a movie theater selling popcorn and gummy bears, but they come to you.

00:14:50.720 Less effective than working at a sweat locker.

00:14:52.700 Plus they want that shit.

00:14:52.960 Right.

00:14:53.200 Yeah.

00:14:53.420 And they want it.

00:14:53.980 It's different selling something that they want versus selling something that they want.

00:14:58.840 They need.

00:14:59.780 So like, for example, in my business, I, we've sold things that people need versus shit that

00:15:05.940 they want.

00:15:06.520 Nobody wants to fucking take protein powder.

00:15:09.060 Nobody, nobody wants to take supplements.

00:15:11.600 They just know they probably should.

00:15:13.160 It's a good idea.

00:15:13.700 So when they come in, our job is to educate them on what they need to use and how they

00:15:19.380 need to use it.

00:15:20.300 And it's to get somebody excited in a situation for something that they're, they're kind of

00:15:26.240 telling themselves they need to buy versus something that they want, like a fucking beer

00:15:30.920 or a pizza.

00:15:32.120 You're completely different ball game.

00:15:33.840 Plus your results are offset.

00:15:35.640 Well, their results are offset by time.

00:15:38.220 Time.

00:15:38.780 Yeah.

00:15:39.000 A lot of time, months, years, whatever.

00:15:40.680 Right.

00:15:40.800 Like when they only get fucking pizza, they're like, fuck, that was good.

00:15:43.380 It tasted good.

00:15:44.300 Dopamine hit.

00:15:45.000 Done.

00:15:45.420 People always ask me what my regret is.

00:15:47.380 And I don't really have any regrets, but if I knew what I know today, I probably would

00:15:53.980 have picked a business that would have been something that people wanted versus something

00:15:58.740 that I had to educate them on.

00:16:00.140 And I love what we do because the, the, the time payoff that we get of actually changing

00:16:06.220 people's lives, dude, it's, it's irreplaceable and I would do it for free.

00:16:10.480 Okay.

00:16:10.940 So I'm not saying I would change it, but if I were a young entrepreneur, you know, like

00:16:16.140 I'm giving advice now, like if I were you and you're fucking young, I would think about

00:16:19.860 selling something people want versus something that.

00:16:22.080 What do you think you would have sold?

00:16:23.240 Do you ever think about what it might be?

00:16:24.600 Dude, fuck yeah, man.

00:16:25.340 I know exactly what I would have sold.

00:16:26.560 I would have sold fucking frozen custard.

00:16:28.420 Frozen custard?

00:16:28.940 Everybody fucking loves it.

00:16:29.840 I would have been a billionaire by now.

00:16:31.140 The frozen custard billionaire.

00:16:32.380 Yeah, bro.

00:16:32.820 There's this fucking, there's.

00:16:33.960 You might be fatter though than you are now.

00:16:35.640 I get, I was fat and I sold fucking vitamins.

00:16:38.440 Right, yeah.

00:16:39.080 If I sold fucking frozen custard, I would have been 700 fucking pounds.

00:16:43.340 I would have been on the show where they have to cut the hole in the fucking side of

00:16:46.860 the house and use a forklift to get me out of the bed.

00:16:49.280 Big Andy the custard guy.

00:16:50.480 Yeah, that's right.

00:16:51.000 Well, dude, it's funny because, and the reason I always say this and people laugh, but they're,

00:16:55.440 and I'm going to give a plug here, which I never do, but there is this fucking place

00:16:59.020 in Springfield, Missouri, and now it's, it's a lot of places.

00:17:02.320 It's called Andy's frozen custard.

00:17:03.860 All right.

00:17:04.140 That's the name of it.

00:17:05.240 All right.

00:17:05.580 And whenever I knew, learned about this business, they were, they only had one or two stores.

00:17:10.760 Now they have like dozens and dozens and dozens of stores and it's this really cool concept.

00:17:15.880 It's like, they have like the standalone, like retro looking, um, like drive-in movie

00:17:21.760 fifties feel building.

00:17:23.520 It's really like good atmosphere, good ambiance and do their fucking product is so good.

00:17:29.740 And dude, I'm just telling you like everybody in St. Louis loves Ted Drew's and it's like

00:17:33.540 a, it's like a legendary place.

00:17:35.080 I love Ted Drew's as well, but Andy's frozen custard has the whole fucking thing locked down

00:17:40.160 from a model.

00:17:40.700 And I always knew, I'm like, dude, if I fucking, if I ran their business, I would be a fucking

00:17:45.620 billionaire because it's, people come from all over 20, 12 months a year to buy this shit.

00:17:51.600 And I'm out there like having to like go into people's offices and talk to them about shit,

00:17:56.660 like going on a diet, you know, like nobody wants to fucking go on a diet.

00:17:59.360 Nobody wants to hear that.

00:18:00.400 Meanwhile, people waiting in the rain to eat frozen custard.

00:18:02.880 So you obviously started working on this stuff to succeed as a wall street lawyer, but you're

00:18:07.140 not a wall street lawyer.

00:18:08.820 So what happened?

00:18:09.800 That didn't happen.

00:18:10.320 Yeah.

00:18:10.640 So what happened was I was securitizing subprime mortgages, which is a fancy way of saying

00:18:14.760 take mortgage pools, turn them into a product for a bank where they can sell securities against

00:18:21.380 it.

00:18:21.640 So like you can buy stock in these pools of loans.

00:18:24.100 Well, the big short, I think we kind of know how that went.

00:18:26.560 Cause I remember asking what happens if people default on their mortgage and they go, it's

00:18:31.420 fine.

00:18:31.720 There's so many in here.

00:18:32.780 You'd have to have this critical mass of people defaulting at the same time.

00:18:36.500 Well, guess what?

00:18:39.300 That's totally possible.

00:18:40.680 And in fact was likely it happened.

00:18:43.160 And so the whole firm that I was working at cut back dramatically and they're like, look,

00:18:47.540 we're probably going to end up cutting a lot of you guys and it's your first year.

00:18:52.280 So we don't want to fire or lay you off.

00:18:54.840 So what we're going to do is pay you for the entire year, every month, just like you

00:18:58.760 work here, but you don't have to show up anymore.

00:19:00.680 And, but you should get another job.

00:19:02.260 And if you get another job, let us know and we'll stop paying you.

00:19:05.140 Right.

00:19:05.480 Right.

00:19:05.680 Cause I'm going to, no problem.

00:19:07.540 I'm certainly going to do that.

00:19:08.660 But then I just took all of that salary every month and I focused on, I used it as seed capital

00:19:14.100 for my business.

00:19:15.080 And that's what started the whole company in the first place.

00:19:17.560 So I didn't end up continuing with Walt with law, but I continued with those skills.

00:19:21.880 Cause every time I learned a little bit about sales, marketing and relationship development,

00:19:26.740 networking, I was like, this is really, this is a huge competitive advantage that nobody

00:19:31.600 thinks about.

00:19:32.160 Cause people are thinking about how to outwork everyone, which you should be able to do already.

00:19:36.160 Uh, you work ethic is something that you should have.

00:19:38.520 You have to have, you have to be able to like die on the treadmill, but making yourself smarter

00:19:43.020 is a process that you should also do, but it's so much slower.

00:19:46.500 And then there's this third path, like the secret third path is what I call it, which is

00:19:50.260 the relationships and the networking stuff.

00:19:52.080 If you're building that your, your colleagues, they're not thinking about this right now, especially

00:19:58.720 if you're in your twenties, because what you, what you think about when you're in your twenties

00:20:01.960 is I'm going to work and I'm going to build something.

00:20:04.680 And then sooner or later I'll know everyone.

00:20:06.720 Cause I'll join a country club or something when I'm a millionaire and I'll just make friends,

00:20:10.380 right?

00:20:10.540 The friends come first.

00:20:11.920 They don't come as a result.

00:20:13.320 They come as a part of what you're building.

00:20:15.880 Yep.

00:20:16.540 Dude, totally.

00:20:17.300 And that's just, it's funny.

00:20:18.820 Cause our, one of our last podcasts, we just talked about this, the, the process of continuing

00:20:24.260 to level up your, your groups of friends, you know what I mean?

00:20:27.240 Um, so many people try to fight that process when it's counterproductive to the, what they're

00:20:31.960 trying to do.

00:20:32.580 You know what I mean?

00:20:33.520 Um, but it is what it is.

00:20:35.380 Well, or they're doing this thing where they're like, well, right.

00:20:37.860 The first one is I don't want to ditch my old friends.

00:20:39.880 And it's like, okay, I get that.

00:20:41.040 You don't have to not talk to your high school buddies, but if you have a bunch of friends

00:20:44.960 that you're going, Hey, let's go get a workout in and then go see a show.

00:20:48.880 And they're like, no, let's smoke pot and play video games.

00:20:51.640 That's cool.

00:20:52.140 If you do that once or twice, but if that's all they ever want to do, you gotta, you gotta figure out

00:20:56.680 if that's what you want.

00:20:57.680 Yep.

00:20:58.080 Cause that's what you're going to get.

00:20:59.020 That's what you're going to get.

00:20:59.820 You're going to end up like that.

00:21:00.780 And, uh, I interviewed this, this guy on the Jordan Harbinger show named Ben Hardy, Benjamin

00:21:04.700 Hardy.

00:21:05.020 And he wrote a book about how your environment influences what you do.

00:21:09.000 And one of the examples he gave is he's, he had a buddy who was happily married.

00:21:12.900 He had kids and he stayed friends with this guy from high school, which is again, not,

00:21:18.600 not the end of the world, not a big deal.

00:21:20.460 But then he started spending more time with that guy and more time.

00:21:22.860 And then that guy went through a hard time and got divorced and he's, he's like, well,

00:21:27.080 I'm his only buddy.

00:21:28.240 So he spent more and more time with him.

00:21:29.820 And that guy was talking negatively about his ex-wife and he encouraged this guy to talk

00:21:35.060 negatively about his current wife.

00:21:36.620 And then his current wife started getting sick of his crap and his eating Cheetos and playing

00:21:40.900 video games with this guy all the time.

00:21:42.680 Well, you can guess what happened.

00:21:43.840 Fast forward a couple of years later, this guy ends up getting divorced.

00:21:47.580 His wife takes his kid and now he hangs out with this guy 24 seven.

00:21:50.760 I think they live together and play video games every fucking day.

00:21:54.100 Yeah.

00:21:54.260 And that's because this guy's mindset and his environment were set up to just sap away his

00:22:00.100 energy, sap away his, his good choices, sap away.

00:22:03.740 He didn't make new friends.

00:22:04.840 He didn't level up his friends and networking and relationship development is a great way

00:22:09.080 to make sure that you're around successful people all the time.

00:22:11.600 Not just the people that you were friends with in college because they live next to you.

00:22:15.560 I think it's important too, to, to, to, to say, you know, the other thing is that

00:22:19.640 networking is fucking huge.

00:22:23.420 Right.

00:22:23.700 And you have to be conscious and, and, and, uh, intentional about who you're going to

00:22:27.920 try to meet.

00:22:29.460 But what I see on social media, and I don't know if you observe the same thing, but fuck

00:22:34.020 I do is like all these kids who think that just by networking that they're going to somehow

00:22:39.820 become these wealthy.

00:22:41.460 Like you're, they're not, they're, they're, they're disproportionately going in on networking

00:22:46.360 as opposed to like building a quality product or having a business plan or all the other

00:22:52.020 shit that you actually got to have too.

00:22:53.620 Cause like you're here, you know, like Gary V pushes this hard and Gary's my boy, but

00:22:58.340 I don't agree with everything he said.

00:22:59.800 And one of the things that he go in somebody's DMS and DM them and DM them and DM them until

00:23:04.400 they fucking respond, dude, you know, that's how you get blocked on my fucking page.

00:23:08.200 You know what I mean?

00:23:09.120 Like you, I had this question, uh, I went to Kansas city for an event last weekend or two

00:23:14.480 weekends ago.

00:23:15.400 And, um, I had a kid come up to me who was just like, I don't know, he's like three or

00:23:20.580 four years into his business.

00:23:21.720 And he was like, how he asked me for my, my personal cell phone number.

00:23:27.860 And, and like, dude, I admire your ambition.

00:23:30.820 Like I get that.

00:23:31.800 And I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I'm not giving you my fucking number.

00:23:34.640 Like, I don't know you.

00:23:35.880 Yeah.

00:23:35.980 I'll give him your number.

00:23:36.840 Don't worry about it.

00:23:37.460 Exactly.

00:23:38.040 But like, I, I get it.

00:23:40.060 Like he was displaying that he had like courage to ask.

00:23:43.020 Right.

00:23:43.300 And I appreciate that.

00:23:44.960 But, and he's like, well, how, cause after I told him no, you know, politely, um, he

00:23:51.640 said, well, how do I, how do I get to be friends with people like you?

00:23:55.380 Like, how do we get in the same circle?

00:23:57.060 And I'm like, bro, you got to go out and do something.

00:23:59.080 Yes.

00:23:59.440 You got to go out and fucking build something.

00:24:01.160 Like you've got to go out and build something that's so fucking noticeably successful that

00:24:06.600 you cannot be ignored to where people like me or you or whoever else.

00:24:11.480 And he's who have already done things look and say, dude, yes, we got to get this dude's

00:24:17.200 doing it.

00:24:17.900 We got to get in with him.

00:24:19.400 It makes sense.

00:24:20.540 Yeah.

00:24:20.820 Because people miss that point because they're, they're so, they're young and they're ambitious

00:24:24.740 and they want it now and they don't realize like, dude, you can't just talk your way into

00:24:29.100 people's circles.

00:24:29.820 I see you're not sure.

00:24:30.800 Let's connect.

00:24:31.460 Yeah.

00:24:32.180 But like if I had Elon Musk's phone number right now, for example, I wouldn't be like,

00:24:37.340 Hey, look, I have all these great ideas for SpaceX.

00:24:39.420 You got to hear or, Hey, can I, I don't have, I'd be sending him fucking funny memes.

00:24:43.880 Right.

00:24:44.280 Yeah.

00:24:44.520 Until we're fucking boys.

00:24:45.440 Exactly.

00:24:45.920 I would find some way to make it entertaining, but that's a whole, that's a whole side topic probably.

00:24:50.000 But that's what we're talking about.

00:24:50.980 Interpersonal relations.

00:24:52.020 Like you're, you're, you work your way in like over years.

00:24:55.480 Yeah.

00:24:55.860 You know what I mean?

00:24:56.520 And, and you have to bring value to them.

00:24:59.040 Cause you know, if, if this kid and we, I don't want to pick on somebody, I don't even

00:25:02.320 know, but he probably wasn't like, Hey, I have to get in touch with you directly.

00:25:06.180 Cause I have all these things that are going to benefit you.

00:25:07.980 He was like, I'm going to text you every week about to run ideas by you for my own.

00:25:12.520 Oh, that's a whole nother thing.

00:25:13.960 Like people, and this kid was very nice.

00:25:15.880 He, and he's going to listen and he's going to know what I'm talking about him.

00:25:19.780 He did everything right.

00:25:21.040 But like, if you don't have the thing, whatever your business is to back up your, you're just

00:25:27.040 not, it takes that part too.

00:25:29.020 Not just the networking.

00:25:30.600 You know what I mean?

00:25:31.140 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:32.240 Yeah, I do.

00:25:32.960 I have, you know, another thing is, is you get people in DMs all the time who are, and

00:25:36.960 they're fucking, they'll say this.

00:25:38.840 Hey, can I pick your brain?

00:25:40.000 Oh yeah.

00:25:40.440 That's not, don't ever do that.

00:25:41.980 No motherfucker.

00:25:42.420 You can't pick my brain.

00:25:44.400 I've got lots of shit going on in my real life.

00:25:46.940 Like, no, you can't pick my brain.

00:25:48.740 Or we've got 236 podcasts that you can listen to.

00:25:52.000 Dude, it just shows me you're fucking lazy.

00:25:54.220 Like, I cannot stand, like it's a pet peeve of mine.

00:25:57.220 Like if those words go together into a fucking DM, I literally get like irritated.

00:26:02.400 I want to like tell them off, but I don't, but I try, I just ignore it.

00:26:06.140 It's, it's tough.

00:26:06.960 I will say if somebody's friends with me, like if you called and you were like, Hey, look,

00:26:10.660 I want to pick your brain about podcasts and stuff, totally different.

00:26:13.220 That's different.

00:26:13.740 Yeah.

00:26:14.080 But if I don't know you, you're picking my pocket instead of my brain because I got

00:26:18.060 to make money on this time.

00:26:19.120 No shit, dude.

00:26:20.100 Like, fuck.

00:26:20.880 That's a great way of putting it.

00:26:21.680 Yeah, let's clarify that.

00:26:23.000 It's totally different if you've got a relationship and I, and I call you and say, Hey bro, I got

00:26:28.680 a question about this.

00:26:29.560 What do you think?

00:26:30.260 Yeah.

00:26:30.600 As opposed to some dude I've never met before.

00:26:34.400 And, and dude, what they always do too, like they always try to leverage.

00:26:37.740 They're like, Oh dude, I've bought all your products.

00:26:39.620 I've done this.

00:26:40.200 I've done that.

00:26:41.020 Can I pick your brain?

00:26:42.180 And I'm like, no, you still can't.

00:26:45.540 Still can't.

00:26:46.140 Yeah.

00:26:46.440 Like I just don't have the time to do that.

00:26:48.620 And I'm doing what I do so you can learn this shit.

00:26:51.440 All you have to do is go listen.

00:26:52.720 Yeah.

00:26:52.840 It's not scalable for you to do that.

00:26:54.480 Yeah.

00:26:54.840 No, man.

00:26:55.400 One thing that I started doing that has helped with this is, uh, do you know what clarity

00:27:00.160 is?

00:27:00.540 It's like this service where you can charge, uh, I think 600 or a thousand bucks an hour

00:27:04.840 and then they can set up a call with you.

00:27:07.440 And it's like at that rate, it's about 17 bucks a minute.

00:27:10.280 And I will donate that money to charity or I will, it depends on what the cause is, of

00:27:15.360 course.

00:27:16.080 But then if people are willing to pay for that, then I know that they're going to probably

00:27:19.300 apply what they're telling me because it's going to cost them 400 bucks.

00:27:21.700 They got spit in the game.

00:27:22.840 That's right.

00:27:23.540 And that matters to you.

00:27:24.900 That's something I've had to, I've had to learn over the last few years is like, because

00:27:30.120 we're getting ready to launch a bunch of academy courses and, um, uh, I'm excited about that

00:27:37.260 because I'm, I'm excited to have people who have something in it.

00:27:41.240 You know what I mean?

00:27:41.900 Whereas dude, cause that's what I like, man.

00:27:44.720 I like people taking the information and then coming back a year later and being like, fuck

00:27:48.400 dude, I double my income or I grew my business this much or I did this.

00:27:52.720 Right.

00:27:53.200 But it doesn't happen really for, because a lot of people don't have skin in the game.

00:27:58.460 They don't have skin in the game.

00:27:59.220 The guy who wanted to pick your brain, not, not the one again, don't want to pick on somebody

00:28:02.960 I don't know.

00:28:03.600 But a lot of times you'll give somebody, I remember when I first started, I would spend

00:28:07.860 like an hour with somebody outlining a strategy or something like this.

00:28:11.020 And they would never a year later, I'd be like, Oh, did you ever launch that?

00:28:15.260 They never would launch anything.

00:28:17.100 They would never do anything.

00:28:18.340 And that's why if somebody's like, Hey, I want you to be the first guest on my new show.

00:28:21.880 I'm like, no, I'll do it when you're on episode 50.

00:28:24.400 I never hear from those people again because they don't get there and they never get there.

00:28:27.440 Right.

00:28:27.580 That's a good point.

00:28:28.920 So backing up just for a little bit.

00:28:30.340 So clearly you built this awesome brand on social dynamics, interpersonal communication,

00:28:35.900 a lot of the things that are connected to that.

00:28:38.900 Let's formalize this, all right?

00:28:41.060 Because, and let's make, let's state this in really stark terms.

00:28:46.140 Give us your step-by-step, you know, path or formula for how to get somebody to do something.

00:28:54.700 You know, what basic principles of persuasion.

00:28:57.480 Persuasion, yeah.

00:28:58.260 We're already talking about it organically, but let's formalize it.

00:29:00.640 Yeah.

00:29:00.960 Persuasion is commonly misunderstood because people are like, all right, what's this like hypnotic

00:29:05.360 set of words that you can use to get somebody?

00:29:08.040 They have a negative connotation of it.

00:29:10.460 Yeah.

00:29:10.760 It's either manipulative.

00:29:11.360 Or they call it manipulative.

00:29:12.220 Right.

00:29:12.300 Or they're thinking like, oh, I got to use power words or like some kind of, there's

00:29:18.560 some terms.

00:29:19.220 I'm drawing a blank because I don't use, I don't worry about this.

00:29:21.620 Neuro-linguistic programming.

00:29:22.180 Yeah.

00:29:22.820 I don't really focus on this kind of thing.

00:29:26.060 The way that, honestly, the way that I get people to do things that I think are going

00:29:30.300 to be beneficial to them, which is the easiest way to persuade somebody to do something

00:29:34.040 is to, first of all, align their goals with yours.

00:29:36.700 I know that sounds very cliche or trite, but what this means really is, look, I don't tell

00:29:43.620 someone, or you don't tell someone, hey, you should buy this product.

00:29:47.960 It's the best one out there.

00:29:49.880 And, you know, if you do this, all this great stuff's going to happen for me.

00:29:54.080 You would never sell anything like that.

00:29:55.360 You'd say, look, you're going to go out there and spend 50 bucks on supplements.

00:29:59.480 If you spend 60 bucks, you're going to get stuff that we've tested.

00:30:02.320 It's going to work.

00:30:02.900 It's going to give you better results.

00:30:04.820 You know, you have to speak in terms of what's going to be good for them, but you also have

00:30:07.500 to show them, you have to handle their objections in a way that's not like you're selling it.

00:30:11.400 So a lot of the ways that I would sell an online course or an in-person training, and when

00:30:16.680 we teach, when I teach people, usually I teach military, a lot of special forces, of course,

00:30:22.520 a ton of civilians and things like that come to our training as well.

00:30:25.840 And they're always, these are guys that know that hard work is part of it.

00:30:30.140 So you have to speak in the language that they have, which is not, this is going to be so

00:30:34.400 easy for you guys.

00:30:35.660 Half the time, I will tell a client or student, this is going to be one of the hardest skills

00:30:41.160 you've ever tried to learn.

00:30:42.600 And then the wrong audience will go, all right, I'm done.

00:30:46.040 Let me stop you there.

00:30:46.900 Sure.

00:30:47.220 Why do you say that?

00:30:48.100 Because I know why, but why do you say that?

00:30:49.980 Yeah.

00:30:50.240 So the reason that this is important is if I tell, if I tell a kid outside, this is going

00:30:56.320 to be one of the hardest skills you ever had to learn, he's probably going to be like,

00:30:58.860 I don't want to fucking do that.

00:31:00.160 But if I tell you, this is going to be one of the hardest skills you're ever going to

00:31:02.940 learn.

00:31:03.160 You're going to be like, well, good.

00:31:04.560 I need a fucking challenge.

00:31:06.180 I know I can do this.

00:31:07.580 I've mastered all kinds of other stuff.

00:31:09.080 Not only that, now I fucking trust you because I can believe that.

00:31:13.280 You can believe that.

00:31:13.980 I can believe like when somebody says this fucking lose weight in 30 days, lose 100 pounds in 30

00:31:19.800 day is easy.

00:31:21.140 Cut your leg off.

00:31:21.660 Nobody fucking believes that shit.

00:31:23.520 But when you tell the truth, people believe it.

00:31:26.980 Yeah.

00:31:27.200 And then you have credibility.

00:31:28.560 So you might not sell as much today, but over the next 10 years, you're going to sell

00:31:35.260 a lot more because the people who are buying are the people who are willing to go do what

00:31:39.800 it is you're telling them to do.

00:31:41.040 And what are they going to do?

00:31:42.400 They're going to say, hey, I went and bought Jordan's program or this or that or Andy's

00:31:47.160 supplements.

00:31:47.800 And you know what?

00:31:48.400 They fucking worked because I did my part.

00:31:51.260 And it's a long term play.

00:31:53.400 You know what I mean?

00:31:54.020 Yeah, I do.

00:31:54.800 And I think telling the truth is, first of all, underrated everything and it's hard to

00:31:59.200 do in the moment.

00:31:59.860 People always go, oh, well, you know, of course I'm going to tell the truth.

00:32:03.060 You know, I always tell the truth.

00:32:04.220 This is what I do.

00:32:05.540 The when it comes down to the moment where you have to choose between getting easy results

00:32:10.900 or getting money from somebody or telling the truth, that's when it actually matters

00:32:14.460 the most.

00:32:15.420 Discipline doesn't really matter when you don't need it.

00:32:19.460 This sounds so dumb when I'm saying it out loud, but it's actually a great life truth.

00:32:24.100 Discipline only counts when you need it.

00:32:26.080 Like if you're already awake at 5 a.m. because your dog woke you up, that's not discipline.

00:32:30.800 It's discipline when it's cold out.

00:32:32.480 It's snowing.

00:32:33.080 You're so warm.

00:32:33.940 You wake up and you go, I could totally go back to bed for another half hour or I could

00:32:38.760 get to the gym or I can get up and make a healthy breakfast, whatever it is.

00:32:42.160 That's when the discipline counts.

00:32:43.480 The same thing with truth.

00:32:45.020 The truth only matters if it's like, shit, I really want to sell Tyler on this, but you

00:32:48.960 know what?

00:32:50.200 This isn't going to be a good fit for what you're looking for, but I'm going to refer

00:32:53.380 you to one of my competitors as much as it kills me right now.

00:32:56.320 Then the person goes, wait a minute.

00:32:59.000 You're not just trying to take my cash right now.

00:33:01.380 You're not just trying to get this close to sale right now.

00:33:03.940 And that's tough because-

00:33:06.000 But that's what does close to sale.

00:33:07.140 That's what does close to sale.

00:33:08.120 Yeah, it does.

00:33:08.900 And look, another way that I think is persuasive-

00:33:12.000 Dude, it takes like five to 50 times of real life experience, experiencing what you're

00:33:17.380 talking about to understand it.

00:33:19.500 Because like, dude, I try to teach this to like guys who that we have in our program.

00:33:23.420 And they're like, no, man.

00:33:24.260 They're like, dude, if I do that, nobody will buy.

00:33:26.240 Nobody will buy.

00:33:26.580 I'm like, motherfucker, this is how you close a sale.

00:33:29.540 Tell them to go somewhere else.

00:33:30.760 This is how you close a sale.

00:33:32.200 I recently, every Friday, I answer listener questions on the Jordan Harbinger show.

00:33:35.840 And one person was like, I got this really successful cleaning business.

00:33:39.560 But I have all these clients and they're used to paying me, I don't know, 150 bucks a day

00:33:42.980 or whatever to clean the offices.

00:33:45.100 And I want to raise my rates to 200.

00:33:47.280 But I don't want to piss off all my old clients.

00:33:48.940 And my advice was not spring a rate change on them.

00:33:51.700 My advice was not tell them what's what.

00:33:54.260 My advice was tell them you're raising your rates in 30 days so they have time to plan.

00:33:58.560 And if it's too much for them to pay, you will refer a competitor who will probably do just

00:34:04.140 as good of a job.

00:34:04.980 And she's like, I'm not referring my competitors.

00:34:07.680 And I said, then don't raise your rates because you're never going to be able to do it.

00:34:10.740 So, of course, what she ended up doing was hopefully taking my advice, I would imagine.

00:34:15.120 And when other people have asked me this problem or had this problem to solve, if you say, look,

00:34:20.380 I'm going to refer somebody else if you can't afford my new rate, most everyone will pay

00:34:24.440 you the new rate because they trust you.

00:34:26.800 And not only that, dude, let's say they don't.

00:34:29.160 Let's say they don't pay you the new rate.

00:34:31.840 Because really what you have to think about, like we talk about, like you said, telling the truth

00:34:35.960 sometimes is hard.

00:34:37.000 Yeah.

00:34:37.260 But it's really not if you think about it the right way.

00:34:39.400 Because what you should be thinking about in today's society is what the conversation is going

00:34:44.780 to be Friday night at the bar when they talk about supplements or working out on Monday

00:34:50.060 or what the conversation.

00:34:52.120 So, let's say they don't buy from you.

00:34:54.820 Good thing's still going to happen because what's going to happen when the conversation

00:34:57.940 comes up is, you know what?

00:35:01.940 Jordan raised his rates from $150 to $200, but he offered to help me find someone else

00:35:08.140 to do it for the same price.

00:35:09.280 Like, dude, that's a good fucking dude.

00:35:10.640 Yeah.

00:35:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:35:11.440 So, you end up still winning even if you lose.

00:35:14.760 You know what I mean?

00:35:15.260 Yeah.

00:35:15.480 They go, he referred somebody else.

00:35:16.980 Who does that?

00:35:17.520 Who fits my budget.

00:35:18.180 No one does that.

00:35:19.400 It creates the story.

00:35:20.540 The conversation that you're trying to control, the word of mouth, doing things like that

00:35:27.080 are what creates that because it's so abnormal.

00:35:30.620 It's like what Seth Godin talks about is Purple Cow, right?

00:35:33.040 It's so abnormal that people remember it.

00:35:35.540 So, it's automatic like branding and advertising for you forever.

00:35:39.740 And it shows confidence in the way that you need to show confidence.

00:35:43.120 It's not bluster.

00:35:44.400 It's, look, my protein powder costs $60.

00:35:47.940 Yes, it's twice as much as another one.

00:35:49.880 It's more than twice as good.

00:35:51.480 Well, you know, I'll give you $55.

00:35:53.260 Sorry, man.

00:35:53.880 No.

00:35:54.560 But here's another brand.

00:35:55.920 You know what the best thing we ever did?

00:35:58.000 The best mentality I ever adopted for not just business, for my life.

00:36:02.780 And it says this on my Instagram profile.

00:36:05.080 It says, not for everyone.

00:36:06.240 People get themselves in trouble by trying to please everyone.

00:36:13.460 Do not try to please everyone.

00:36:15.520 Just figure out who it is that you're going to appeal to and go all in there.

00:36:20.440 That is a very good point.

00:36:21.860 What happens is people try to take brands like yours, mine, and they do what they try to make

00:36:28.540 us all vanilla.

00:36:29.800 And then you get punished by the market for being vanilla.

00:36:32.940 Right.

00:36:33.460 But the person in the moment, it's kind of like they want you to be this way.

00:36:36.940 And then as soon as you change that way, in fact, this happens in relationships, too.

00:36:41.480 You've seen this with probably your friends, and they're married and stuff like that.

00:36:44.140 And it's like, why can't you do this?

00:36:45.600 Why can't you be more like that?

00:36:46.760 And then all of a sudden, their relationship falls apart.

00:36:48.760 And it's like, what happened?

00:36:50.000 I did everything that she said, or I did everything that he said.

00:36:52.360 And it's like, yeah, but you've changed.

00:36:54.320 It's like, you fucking changed me.

00:36:56.460 What are you talking about?

00:36:57.620 I'm going to tell you this.

00:36:58.920 Nobody's passionate about vanilla ice cream.

00:37:01.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:37:02.060 Nobody.

00:37:03.220 Nobody's passionate about vanilla.

00:37:04.620 I like vanilla.

00:37:05.580 Vanilla's good.

00:37:06.380 I fucking eat it.

00:37:07.280 Yeah.

00:37:07.820 But I ain't fucking passionate about it.

00:37:10.060 It ain't no frozen custard.

00:37:11.200 No, that's right.

00:37:11.840 With M&Ms and fucking Reese's and caramel in it.

00:37:14.880 That's right.

00:37:15.260 Because that's the shit I like.

00:37:16.740 And that gets me so passionate that I want to start a company around it.

00:37:21.400 All right?

00:37:22.200 So you have to think about your life and your brand and your company in that way.

00:37:26.480 Right?

00:37:26.840 If you're vanilla, dude, you might be able to pay the bills, but you're never going to thrive.

00:37:32.440 You're a commodity.

00:37:33.260 Right.

00:37:33.460 Exactly.

00:37:34.060 You're becoming a commodity by default.

00:37:36.940 And it really comes down, the reason that your brand has become vanilla is either A, you're running it by committee.

00:37:42.360 Because when you run shit by committee, the answer is going to always be vanilla because no one's going to agree.

00:37:47.660 Right.

00:37:47.800 Or B, you're purposely trying to please everybody's opinion and it bothers you so deeply that you can't please everybody that you take all the cool shit of your brand and throw it away.

00:38:00.840 You sand down your shit until it's so smooth that nobody wants it anymore.

00:38:05.100 Okay, so Jordan, the first two points that I pulled out from Jordan Harbinger's rock star persuasion course in 48 hours or less, sarcasm, is align their goals to yours.

00:38:19.600 Tell the truth, even if it's not in your immediate best interest, but think about the long game.

00:38:25.280 Well, long game, yeah, that's actually probably two separate points.

00:38:28.160 Long game, I was talking with Gary Vee, speaking to him before, and I can't remember what I said, but he was like, you do think long term.

00:38:35.940 And I hadn't really thought about this, but it's true.

00:38:38.140 I don't go, oh man, I got to get Shaq on my show so then I blow up and everyone will be like, yeah, that's the guy that had Shaq.

00:38:45.920 I waited two and a half years to get him on the show and it was persistence, but it was like, I think you call it aggressive patience.

00:38:53.700 Is that right?

00:38:54.300 Yeah.

00:38:54.420 It's aggressive patience where I'm there, like you turn around and it's like, oh yeah, he's still behind me, but I'm not like, I'm not poking you in the back the whole time.

00:39:01.820 You're letting the value accumulate.

00:39:03.840 Exactly.

00:39:04.480 And I think that's important to play that long game.

00:39:07.220 I get why younger guys, especially younger guys and gals, but especially guys, they don't want to wait because especially in the internet age, it looks like you should have everything right now.

00:39:17.340 Well, dude, and also what people don't realize is that if you have Shaq on your show as the first fucking guest.

00:39:24.020 It's all downhill from there.

00:39:25.660 It's not going to make your show anyway.

00:39:27.320 No, it doesn't do anything for you.

00:39:28.300 Because it takes time.

00:39:30.020 This goes back to the buying process or the process of becoming a loyal fan.

00:39:35.460 It's the same.

00:39:36.540 It takes people time to accept your idea, to accept your message.

00:39:41.780 All right.

00:39:42.300 And if you go in, like people have this false perception and it's because what we're fed,

00:39:46.960 right?

00:39:47.920 Kim Kardashian posted for this company and now they're selling $4 million a month.

00:39:52.520 Right.

00:39:52.760 Yeah, but next month they're selling $0.

00:39:55.600 Or they were selling $3.8 and they paid Kim Kardashian and they went up $200,000.

00:39:59.680 They didn't make it overnight.

00:40:01.140 But people have this perception because we're fed the idea of overnight success that by having this one person or that one person or this opportunity or getting your product in this store,

00:40:13.140 that it's going to make you.

00:40:14.720 Nothing that you can do.

00:40:16.600 Nothing, no matter how much money you spend.

00:40:19.640 Look at all the companies you see spend ads on Super Bowl and then you never hear from them again.

00:40:23.300 Yeah, never.

00:40:24.020 It doesn't matter.

00:40:25.320 You cannot outspend.

00:40:27.120 You cannot outwork.

00:40:28.640 You cannot outstrategize time.

00:40:31.680 Time is always a factor.

00:40:33.940 You cannot turn a cake up to 900 degrees and cook it in five fucking minutes.

00:40:39.360 Right.

00:40:39.720 It's going to take 40 minutes.

00:40:40.940 I tried that.

00:40:41.380 It doesn't work.

00:40:42.020 Right.

00:40:42.400 I take my word for it.

00:40:43.300 And it's the same thing that these young dudes, I appreciate the ambition, dude, but you're thinking about it in a way that you don't understand doesn't work.

00:40:52.320 Yeah, I don't know.

00:40:52.940 Have you guys had this experience where every, over the last 11 years I've been running the show, every time I thought this is going to be this one big turning point, it has never once happened.

00:41:05.080 Like when I got Shaq on it, I thought I'm going to have so many new fans from this.

00:41:07.880 It was like, bink, it was like this tiny little like blip and then it's like, oh man, we hit the New York Times.

00:41:13.940 All right, cool.

00:41:14.420 We got a little boost or like Tony Robbins mentioned us on a bunch of stuff and I was like, oh good.

00:41:18.700 It's cumulative.

00:41:19.440 It was cumulative.

00:41:20.420 Yes.

00:41:20.800 It's a cumulative package.

00:41:22.520 It's to where.

00:41:23.340 So now when people look at your website or they look, they hear your podcast or they find out about you somehow, what they're doing is they're going and they're saying, fuck dude, New York Times bestseller, number one rated podcast, innovator of this.

00:41:37.880 Been in Forbes, been in this, been in that.

00:41:39.940 And they're like, fuck.

00:41:41.080 All right, I like this guy.

00:41:41.960 I'm going to see what he's about.

00:41:42.820 And that's how it happens.

00:41:44.020 It's a cumulative product.

00:41:46.080 And it's hard to explain that to young guys because like, dude, I don't think I would have understood it when I was 20 years old.

00:41:52.920 Because you don't have enough to be cumulative.

00:41:54.940 You look at your whole life as childhood.

00:41:57.520 Bro, you know how many times in my business career, like not just the podcast thing, but in my business career where I'm like, fuck dude, we just get this one thing and land this one account, do this one thing.

00:42:07.880 Dude, we're going to be billion dollars next year.

00:42:10.060 Like I've thought that for 20 fucking years.

00:42:12.020 Yeah.

00:42:12.200 You know, so I'm guilty of the same thought process.

00:42:14.900 But I think it's okay to think like that because it keeps you wanting to do big things.

00:42:22.500 But what you have to understand, like, dude, it keeps you swinging for the fences, right?

00:42:27.320 Swing for the fence, strike out.

00:42:28.860 Swing for the fence, strike out.

00:42:30.160 Swing for the fence, hit a home run.

00:42:31.980 All right?

00:42:32.440 Because I've hit a lot of fucking home runs, but I've struck out way more.

00:42:35.360 But I think the problem with thinking that way, and I actually believe it's a good way to think, but the problem with thinking that way is that when these kids go out and strike out the first three or four times, what do they do?

00:42:46.800 They quit.

00:42:48.820 And so it's a double-edged sword, man.

00:42:51.840 There's good things about it and there's bad things about it.

00:42:54.440 So what I tell people when they ask me about this, because they're like, oh, I'm going to get this big press.

00:42:58.920 And I still, I agree with you.

00:43:00.440 I'm the same philosophy.

00:43:01.620 Get excited about it.

00:43:03.480 Yeah, you're going to be in the New York Times.

00:43:05.200 Get excited.

00:43:05.880 You're going on an MFCO project.

00:43:08.020 Get excited.

00:43:09.040 But then don't have an attachment to the outcome.

00:43:12.120 Get excited and fly all the way to St. Louis and do this show.

00:43:16.140 And when you get a bunch of new fans from it, be thankful.

00:43:18.800 But don't go, what the fuck?

00:43:20.200 I flew out to St. Louis and I only got 10,000 new fans.

00:43:22.340 I'm supposed to get 100,000.

00:43:23.280 This guy's bullshit.

00:43:23.900 I don't want to talk to him anymore.

00:43:25.520 Don't do that.

00:43:26.620 Because then you're just getting, you're just loading the gun and then shooting yourself in the foot, reloading the gun, and aiming at your other foot.

00:43:33.180 But you do have to, I agree with you.

00:43:34.620 You should stay excited because otherwise you just go, you know, it's no point.

00:43:38.300 I'm not even going to fly out there and do this because nothing ever happens.

00:43:40.800 Right, right.

00:43:41.360 Like, dude, I had an article come out a couple, like, I don't know, like a month or 40 days ago or 45 days ago where Entrepreneur Inc.

00:43:50.360 Like, our entrepreneur did an article about the top five entrepreneur podcasts and they put us at number one.

00:43:56.040 I saw that.

00:43:56.520 Okay, which was fucking so cool.

00:43:58.720 Because that's like, for me, that's like an iconic thing.

00:44:00.880 Like, I grew up reading that magazine, you know.

00:44:02.840 So, like, and I show it to my dad.

00:44:04.500 I'm like, dad, check this shit out.

00:44:05.700 You know, it's just cool.

00:44:06.500 But then Yahoo picked it up and then fucking Inc. picked it up and they ran the same fucking version of the same article.

00:44:14.080 And, dude, it was awesome.

00:44:17.320 But, like, I didn't, it didn't fucking, it didn't make the show, the show made the show.

00:44:21.940 Right.

00:44:22.280 You know what I'm saying?

00:44:22.880 Like, we're not any more popular than we were fucking a month ago or maybe, you know, maybe we have a hundred new listeners or a thousand new listeners.

00:44:30.780 But I still enjoyed that.

00:44:33.220 I still thought it was cool.

00:44:34.260 Yeah.

00:44:34.440 You know what I mean?

00:44:34.820 Yeah, you gotta, you let, you sort of soak it up, but then you don't go.

00:44:38.080 But I'm not hung on it.

00:44:39.060 You're not hung on it, yeah.

00:44:40.200 And I think a lot of people, they'll get, they have that, like you said, the strikeout, the swing for the fences and the strikeout.

00:44:46.900 So, they'll get this big piece of media.

00:44:48.920 And what is this called?

00:44:49.620 It's called magical thinking.

00:44:50.760 That's what it was, that's what I was looking for.

00:44:51.980 Yeah.

00:44:52.320 And people do this in relationships.

00:44:54.000 They do this in business.

00:44:55.240 Yeah.

00:44:55.360 It's easy to spot in business because you go, oh, we have a Super Bowl ad that's going to be huge.

00:44:59.460 Nothing happens.

00:45:00.560 But when you do it in relationships, too, you have problems.

00:45:02.860 It's like, oh, as soon as I, you probably heard this in your inbox, as soon as I get a girlfriend, my life's going to be totally different.

00:45:08.580 I just need your advice on this.

00:45:09.840 Yeah, it's going to be different.

00:45:09.860 You're going to have less money.

00:45:10.960 You're going to be more aggravated.

00:45:12.280 Yeah.

00:45:12.560 You're going to be able to get less shit done.

00:45:14.640 And you're going to be fatter because you go out to eat all the time.

00:45:16.460 That's right.

00:45:16.960 That's what's going to fucking, that's how different it's going to be.

00:45:19.080 Yeah, congratulations on achieving your dream.

00:45:21.060 Yeah, dude.

00:45:22.260 But people do this in relationships with, they do it with marriage, too.

00:45:25.240 They'll be like, you know, me and my wife are fighting all the time.

00:45:27.840 But, you know, as soon as I get this job in this different town and we move, everything will be fine.

00:45:32.680 And then they move and it's like, no, I'm still an asshole and she still hates me for all this shit I did in the past.

00:45:38.360 Right.

00:45:38.540 You've got to solve the real problem.

00:45:40.640 Stop with the magical thinking.

00:45:42.020 And 90% of the time in those situations, 99% of the time, where's the fucking problem?

00:45:46.980 It's in you.

00:45:47.900 Yeah, it's you.

00:45:48.320 Yeah.

00:45:48.900 I did want to say just as you were talking, I was thinking about everything that Andy has always said about success in sales.

00:45:53.640 And obviously, there's so much interaction or interchange between success in sales or business and success in real life.

00:46:01.700 And I was thinking, he has said on the podcast a number of times, be successful at sales, you can't look at it as individual transactions.

00:46:08.620 You've got to look at it as lifelong relationship.

00:46:10.340 I like that, yeah.

00:46:11.060 And that's what I was thinking as you guys were talking is that's why you have to commit to the long term because you don't form a really meaningful, rich, rewarding relationship in a single moment.

00:46:24.580 It takes time.

00:46:26.020 And it's about building trust.

00:46:27.080 And I can't remember which one of you mentioned trust earlier because you both look so much alike.

00:46:31.840 I can't remember which one of you said it.

00:46:33.920 But a lot of people-

00:46:34.920 Best compliment you ever got, bro.

00:46:35.840 Yeah, I think it is.

00:46:36.880 But like the building of trust, you'd said, what other persuasive things can you do?

00:46:42.920 I always-

00:46:44.100 Oh, there's always one.

00:46:45.260 Dude, it's his first fucking rodeo.

00:46:46.580 There's always one.

00:46:47.200 I think that actually may be the first time that's ever happened in our podcast.

00:46:50.940 235 fucking episodes in and this motherfucker still got a cell phone on.

00:46:54.980 It's hard to clarify we're talking about Tyler.

00:46:56.660 Yeah.

00:46:57.140 Yeah.

00:46:57.800 The way that you build trust also is by doing the little things.

00:47:01.420 And most people will not do those little things.

00:47:04.500 So they'll do this.

00:47:06.140 They'll go, all right, well, I got to figure out.

00:47:09.460 They'll go, all right, well, I got to figure out how to get this set up.

00:47:12.880 Or I got to figure out how to persuade.

00:47:14.380 I got to figure out the magical languaging.

00:47:15.840 Or I got to figure out how to do this awesome presentation.

00:47:17.680 And then they show up 20 minutes late.

00:47:19.380 Right.

00:47:19.500 And you're like, wait, your whole thing was to blow me away.

00:47:24.100 And you've wasted a bunch of my time already.

00:47:26.320 Right.

00:47:26.620 Or they'll go, they'll cancel something.

00:47:29.120 And my wife, she goes bonkers when I'm like, oh, I'm tired.

00:47:33.360 Or like, oh, we're not going to make it.

00:47:34.980 She's like, you know how shitty it looks to cancel something?

00:47:39.320 100%, yeah.

00:47:40.120 Like, you better have a reason like, oh, my leg's caught in a meat grinder.

00:47:43.220 So I can't make it.

00:47:44.280 Right.

00:47:44.520 You know, not like, oh, I overslept.

00:47:47.020 Like, that's not something where it just happens.

00:47:49.380 You have done, there's a whole lot of non-discipline, a whole lot of disorganization, a whole lot of

00:47:54.160 things like something not working out right for you to have a failure at that time.

00:47:59.620 And that's what I'm looking at when I'm looking at business.

00:48:01.500 I'm not, somebody's like, oh, this meeting ran long.

00:48:03.960 All right.

00:48:04.500 That might happen sometimes.

00:48:05.920 But if it's like, oh, we got stuck in traffic.

00:48:08.500 Hey, you just didn't plan.

00:48:09.600 You did not plan for this.

00:48:11.300 How are you?

00:48:11.680 It's like that sign you guys have on the door where it's like salesman.

00:48:14.780 Am I allowed to say a salesman by appointment only?

00:48:17.220 And it's like, if you show up and you don't have an appointment, we will not do business with

00:48:21.200 you on principle because it shows that you can't follow directions.

00:48:24.460 Did I get that right?

00:48:25.240 You got it.

00:48:25.780 And so that is, that's so important because every action that you do now, people don't

00:48:31.040 think, oh, well, this is, this is unrelated to me closing this deal, or this is unrelated

00:48:35.080 to me in a relationship scenario.

00:48:36.880 No, it's not.

00:48:37.520 How you do anything is how you do everything.

00:48:39.960 And so if you're showing up without an appointment or if you're showing up later, if you're canceling

00:48:44.040 stuff, you're rescheduling stuff, you're moving stuff around all the time.

00:48:46.800 I'm looking at this from a business perspective.

00:48:48.660 I'm looking at this as, where did you fail in the line of planning of the logistics?

00:48:54.460 Where did those go wrong?

00:48:55.980 And what's this going to cost me in the future?

00:48:57.580 What's it going to cost me in the future?

00:48:59.160 Yeah.

00:48:59.580 Right.

00:48:59.780 Oh, well, I have an employee and they failed.

00:49:01.840 Okay.

00:49:02.080 So you don't hire properly.

00:49:04.280 So this thing is happening consistently.

00:49:06.760 I'm not like, oh, well, yeah, employees, they're a bunch of screw ups.

00:49:10.560 No, your employees are screw ups because you don't know how to manage or hire.

00:49:14.480 So it seems like you're combining two concepts.

00:49:16.180 You've got the attention to detail, obviously the small little things, but there's also

00:49:19.680 something that Andy talks about all the time.

00:49:21.660 And we've had a podcast on this specific subject.

00:49:24.740 He always talks about how the inefficient is essential.

00:49:27.660 And sometimes to do the things that really bond you to somebody or help you to persuade

00:49:32.540 them, you have to do those little things that are not easy.

00:49:35.920 They take time and they take a lot of effort.

00:49:38.460 And that's what I think he's always meaning.

00:49:41.000 That's what you mean, Andy, when you talk about the inefficient is essential.

00:49:43.980 Like if you want to persuade people, if you want to really want to impact and influence

00:49:47.320 them, it's not just that you have to do the small little details.

00:49:52.620 You have to do the small little details that usually take a lot of time and effort.

00:49:56.920 Yeah.

00:49:57.080 It shows people that you actually care.

00:49:59.060 You know, from a podcasting example, people will often go, wow, you know, your show's edited

00:50:04.880 really well.

00:50:05.660 And I go, yeah, I have an engineer and a producer, producer Jason and engineer Jason,

00:50:09.640 because I don't have to remember multiple names, that's efficient, but they edit out

00:50:13.980 coughs, sneezes, like the ringer on some phone that the guest has, or like I put the bottle

00:50:19.520 up and I'm drinking it and it goes, you know, and they'll cut that out.

00:50:22.900 And people always go, wow, you know, how do you get all that stuff out there?

00:50:26.180 Or why bother?

00:50:27.140 Another, another podcaster will go, why do you bother doing that?

00:50:30.060 The reason is because, well, there's other things like auditory fatigue and it keeps people

00:50:34.400 paying attention.

00:50:35.320 But the reason is because, well, look, if I want to convince somebody to send their

00:50:39.780 whole team of bodyguards to my school for 5k ahead or whatever, how am I going to do

00:50:47.920 that?

00:50:48.160 And then I sneezed and I was like, eh, fuck it.

00:50:50.380 I'm leaving it in.

00:50:51.400 Right.

00:50:51.620 Like how disciplined are you?

00:50:53.640 How much do you care about the final product when you're like, I could cut that out, but

00:50:56.940 I just don't feel like dealing with it.

00:50:58.580 Right.

00:50:59.460 Yeah, dude.

00:50:59.940 I think those things tell everything.

00:51:02.280 Yeah.

00:51:02.740 Yeah, they do.

00:51:03.340 Those little details, you know, you buy, you know, when you buy something and you're

00:51:07.100 like, wow, all the edges, even on the inside, the part that you don't see, they're all sanded

00:51:10.960 down.

00:51:11.080 Dude, I've been having this fucking issue with a guy, a guy that I'm friends with who's helping

00:51:16.220 us and he's the same way.

00:51:17.600 So we're not, I'm not picking on him.

00:51:20.280 We've been, we have been having this issue with a hat company who's sending us the same

00:51:26.420 hats, but they're fucking different.

00:51:28.280 Like the, they, they fit different, but they're the same according to the company.

00:51:32.240 That's annoying.

00:51:32.840 Yeah.

00:51:33.460 And like, dude, so we've been, him and I have been going back and forth with them and it's

00:51:36.820 like, dude, like most people might not notice that shit, but you better believe like I fucking

00:51:44.160 notice it.

00:51:44.640 Yeah.

00:51:44.880 You know what I mean?

00:51:45.340 Cause it drives me insane.

00:51:46.100 One's loose and the other one's a little too tight.

00:51:47.980 Or the, the, the, the, the type, the, the rise on the crown is like one eighth of an inch

00:51:53.020 different.

00:51:53.460 You can see it.

00:51:54.240 Yeah.

00:51:54.640 Most people can't see that shit.

00:51:56.100 I see it everywhere.

00:51:57.300 Like I notice it everywhere, everywhere I go.

00:52:00.580 Like I see symmetrical perfection.

00:52:04.240 Like I see the details and like, I don't know.

00:52:08.320 Like, I feel like that's a skill that most people haven't developed, but it's a great

00:52:11.940 skill to have.

00:52:12.460 It's a great skill to have.

00:52:13.360 And think about this.

00:52:14.140 They say it doesn't matter.

00:52:15.320 Tell them to get a tattoo that has one eighth of an inch different in a part that like, imagine

00:52:20.100 you have that skull on your right arm.

00:52:21.820 It's like, Oh, one of the eyes is an eighth of an inch bigger, but it's basically fine.

00:52:25.700 You're like, no, this shit is on my body.

00:52:27.900 Like, and, and people go, well, that's a tattoo.

00:52:30.380 You're going to have that forever.

00:52:31.640 Yeah.

00:52:31.840 But you got to treat all of your products in the same way.

00:52:34.360 You got to treat every, and this goes for information products too.

00:52:37.300 You don't release stuff that has a bunch of typos in it.

00:52:39.560 Oh, well it's beta.

00:52:40.980 Okay.

00:52:41.720 Well fix it.

00:52:43.060 Yeah.

00:52:43.360 Make it look good.

00:52:44.560 It's, it goes back to, I said this when you were out of the room, how you do anything

00:52:47.240 is how you do everything.

00:52:48.300 I didn't make that up.

00:52:49.500 I think that's one of those like T Harv Eker quotes or Dale Carnegie from like 1938.

00:52:53.660 I say that shit too.

00:52:54.740 And people, people will like, I'll see them make a meme and they put my name on it and

00:52:58.260 I'm like, all right, I guess I said, I guess it's mine now.

00:53:01.000 But it's funny because that's, I think that is one of the things that I don't know who originally

00:53:05.700 said it, but yeah, we, we all live by that.

00:53:07.840 Yeah.

00:53:08.160 Yeah.

00:53:08.440 You have to, because otherwise you end up with the company that makes hats that aren't quite

00:53:13.120 fitted right.

00:53:14.120 Or the, well, yeah, there's, there's some protein in here, but well, we put in way too

00:53:18.500 much sugar or we didn't put in this other ingredient, but it's fine.

00:53:21.440 Or it tastes a little bit different.

00:53:22.800 You got the guy who, who buys a chocolate mint 47,000 times in a row.

00:53:28.260 And then he gets the one that is like off the motherfuckers going to notice noticing it.

00:53:32.960 Yeah.

00:53:33.180 But like, dude, that's in our space.

00:53:34.840 Luckily, that's how most people do business.

00:53:36.580 So yeah.

00:53:37.320 So they go to beat them.

00:53:38.360 They just go, all right, I'm done with this shit.

00:53:40.300 Right.

00:53:40.560 If one out of every seven of these buckets tastes like shit, I'm not doing it.

00:53:44.220 Yeah.

00:53:44.840 Okay.

00:53:45.060 So you're talking about these little things that if you want to influence people, if

00:53:49.380 you want to persuade them, these little things that you have to do.

00:53:51.440 And by the way, what I love about the last like 20, 30 minutes is that I've literally

00:53:57.280 observed you doing little things like referring to things about us, making references to things

00:54:04.060 that you know, that we've talked about before, which is incredibly, it's incredibly, um, uh,

00:54:10.560 well, it's meaningful to us.

00:54:11.620 It shows you did the research that somebody else didn't do.

00:54:13.760 Yeah, I know.

00:54:14.280 I knew you were going to go there, but I chose to humble myself and bring this issue up anyway.

00:54:18.360 But, but no, but it's, it's, you're actually showing that you're observing people.

00:54:24.220 You're making, you're making references to them.

00:54:26.680 You're making it about them.

00:54:28.220 So I assume that that's one of the little things.

00:54:30.920 Probably.

00:54:31.560 But I've been doing it for so long that I don't notice it anymore.

00:54:34.740 Yeah.

00:54:34.900 Cause I'm like, oh, dude, it's just who you become.

00:54:38.020 Yeah.

00:54:38.140 I agree.

00:54:38.860 I'm the same way, dude.

00:54:39.780 Like I know like when you, when you, especially in a sales situation, like it's all about them.

00:54:46.200 It's not about you.

00:54:47.180 And so many people like are terrible at sales because it's, they make it about them.

00:54:52.260 Yeah.

00:54:52.620 It's not about them.

00:54:53.440 Like, dude, if you're selling cars, it's not about the, the thousand dollar commission.

00:54:58.720 You're going to get off selling the minivan.

00:55:00.240 It's about how safe they're going to feel.

00:55:01.980 It's about how comfortable they're going to be.

00:55:03.560 It's about how cool they're going to feel because they got a cool minivan instead of a boring one,

00:55:07.880 you know, and you got to make it about them and every single way.

00:55:11.580 And, and those guys who care about what they are getting are the ones that end up getting paid.

00:55:18.160 Cars are a good example for the long game concept that you guys brought up earlier as well.

00:55:21.740 Yeah.

00:55:21.940 Because how many cars are you going to buy?

00:55:24.060 If you, yeah, ideally a bunch, right?

00:55:26.540 If you're, if you're good at what you're doing, you're going to have a bunch of cars and you're

00:55:29.300 going to have to get a bigger one when you get a family.

00:55:31.600 And then you're going to want a fun one for when you actually made enough money to get the car that

00:55:35.020 you wanted instead of the cheap one.

00:55:36.480 So if you get those sales guys that are like, oh, he's 24, he'd fuck.

00:55:41.140 I'm not going to spend any time talking to this guy.

00:55:42.620 I'm going to go to the older guy.

00:55:44.000 You might make the sale from that older guy or you might not.

00:55:47.940 But if you treat that 24 year old with respect and then he grows into a 30 year old who then

00:55:53.820 has a different kind of job and he's a 35 year old with a family, then he's a 40 year old

00:55:57.440 going through a midlife crisis and he wants a Mustang.

00:55:59.800 What about all his fucking friends?

00:56:01.060 Yeah.

00:56:01.320 What about all his friends?

00:56:03.260 What about the conversations he's going to have about the experience you could have provided

00:56:07.080 about selling that 24 year old, uh, you know, a 10 year old used car.

00:56:13.060 What if you make him feel like he's the most important person in the world?

00:56:16.240 What if you fucking congratulate him and get him excited about his car to the point where

00:56:20.980 he goes out and tells his other 24 year old friends, dude, you got to go see my buddy

00:56:25.620 Andy at here because he's dude, he hooked me up.

00:56:29.180 He took care of me.

00:56:29.780 He's a good dude.

00:56:30.360 He didn't treat me like I couldn't afford shit.

00:56:33.040 Okay.

00:56:33.480 And you address all these issues.

00:56:36.560 You're not just selling him.

00:56:38.380 You're selling him and everybody fucking knows.

00:56:40.380 And if you could think about that when you're talking to people, it makes it a lot easier

00:56:44.560 to do the right thing.

00:56:45.420 That's a good point.

00:56:46.040 That's a good point.

00:56:46.060 That network.

00:56:46.540 Because we're farming, dude.

00:56:47.600 Sales is fucking farming.

00:56:49.240 You're planting fucking seeds that are going to harvest 10 years from now.

00:56:54.280 So 10 years from now, when that 24 year old is a 34 year old and he's literally told

00:56:59.060 a hundred different people about you.

00:57:00.920 How many cars are you going to be selling a fucking day off of that one great interaction

00:57:06.900 that you took the time to make him feel more special than everybody else?

00:57:10.780 Yeah.

00:57:11.180 That network effect is huge, man.

00:57:13.180 That's why creating, even in the content world, right?

00:57:16.560 Like stuff we're doing right now with this show, when you create something that's really

00:57:19.780 good, people will then, and this is not rocket science, they'll refer it out.

00:57:23.820 But if you just create a bunch of stuff, or if you create like one big splash, like you

00:57:28.660 have one big guest and you expect that, that's only going to ripple so far.

00:57:32.240 You have to keep, make every show has to be good enough.

00:57:34.560 Well, you mentioned it too.

00:57:37.560 You know, audio fatigue.

00:57:39.280 Yeah.

00:57:39.600 Fucking dude, there's content fatigue.

00:57:41.760 You put out so much shit that people ignore what you put out.

00:57:44.740 And we see kids doing that all the time.

00:57:46.420 They're putting out, when you go to their fucking Instagram story, the line at the top looks

00:57:52.060 like a fucking centipede, right?

00:57:53.820 And you're like, fuck it, I'm not watching that shit.

00:57:56.000 Or he's making nine posts a day and putting out two podcasts a day and a YouTube video.

00:58:01.960 Dude, eventually people are like, dude, you're fucking annoying.

00:58:05.080 You have to be aware of that too.

00:58:06.900 You know what I mean?

00:58:07.460 Like overdoing things is just as bad as not doing anything.

00:58:11.200 It's actually worse.

00:58:12.700 I think this was in, man, I wish I remembered which president this was, but he wrote a letter

00:58:16.860 and he's like, sorry for the length of this letter.

00:58:18.540 I didn't have time to write a shorter one.

00:58:20.040 You know what I'm talking about?

00:58:21.320 Yeah.

00:58:21.660 It was like, I don't know.

00:58:22.840 I'm just going to get it wrong if I say Abraham Lincoln or something.

00:58:25.260 No, it was somebody like that.

00:58:27.000 Yeah.

00:58:27.660 And what he's basically saying is-

00:58:30.160 It'll come to me before the end.

00:58:31.020 It's harder to create something that is tight and doesn't have a value delusion than to

00:58:37.020 create something that's just long and rampant.

00:58:38.600 Like if we did a show that lasted the whole day, it's probably going to be tough to make

00:58:42.880 it more valuable than what we're going to fit into an hour.

00:58:44.880 Well, you know why people do that, right?

00:58:45.500 I mean, you know why people do that because one of the fucking ways that iTunes ranks you

00:58:49.900 is because of how long people listen to your fucking podcast.

00:58:54.320 So that you have these motherfuckers out there doing four hour podcasts-

00:58:57.480 Oh my God.

00:58:57.800 Just so they can get a fucking higher ranking, right?

00:59:00.120 I did not know that actually.

00:59:01.400 Oh yeah, dude.

00:59:01.840 That's why you, listen, that's why some of the biggest podcasts are fucking two and three

00:59:06.420 hours long every time.

00:59:07.960 I know that they rank based on, yeah, I guess I get, technically I guess I did know that because

00:59:11.600 of the play count and the episode listing, yeah.

00:59:14.740 Yeah, that's true.

00:59:15.700 Yeah, I didn't think of it like that.

00:59:17.280 I never thought, oh, I should do a longer show because-

00:59:19.560 No, me neither.

00:59:20.200 It's like people already go, man, your show's an hour long, hour and 15, I only got a 45-minute

00:59:24.620 commute.

00:59:25.980 If it's really good, they'll pick it up later, but half of the time they're just going,

00:59:29.080 I'm at work, I'm done.

00:59:30.200 That was Mark Twain.

00:59:31.640 It was Mark Twain.

00:59:32.120 I was going to say Mark Twain.

00:59:32.920 But wait a minute, but is it though?

00:59:34.260 Get the fuck out of here.

00:59:34.760 I swear it was going to be Mark Twain.

00:59:36.200 Every unattributed quote though is now Mark Twain.

00:59:38.560 Mark Twain, right.

00:59:39.380 So it's like YOLO.

00:59:40.580 Oh, that was Abraham Lincoln who made that up.

00:59:42.360 Actually, that was Mark Twain too.

00:59:43.420 Yeah, that was Mark Twain too.

00:59:44.500 Yeah, right.

00:59:45.080 Like, yeah, I don't know.

00:59:47.200 Now I don't believe anything that he said.

00:59:49.140 I was going to say it.

00:59:50.360 I was.

00:59:50.960 You are that guy.

00:59:51.920 Yeah, well, I was going to say it, but he's got my favorite quote about, you know, the

00:59:54.980 right word is the difference between a lightning bug and lightning, you know?

00:59:58.920 I never heard that one.

00:59:59.840 Oh, that's a great one.

01:00:00.660 Must be Mark Twain.

01:00:01.300 I never heard that one either.

01:00:01.720 What is the quote?

01:00:02.620 It's the exact quote is something like, having the perfect word versus having a good word is the difference

01:00:10.220 between a lightning bug and lightning or something like that.

01:00:13.000 Why do you like that?

01:00:13.900 Well, because he said it better.

01:00:15.240 I'm actually misquoting it, but it's really good just because it's really witty.

01:00:19.340 Mark Twain's kind of witty.

01:00:21.980 So.

01:00:22.000 So is that why you like misquote him and shit?

01:00:25.680 His quote was so powerful that you fucking can't remember it?

01:00:28.360 No.

01:00:28.760 Tyler, what's the quote?

01:00:29.300 I think I need more coffee.

01:00:30.500 Actually, it was Winston Churchill.

01:00:32.040 Oh, is it Winston Churchill sent that?

01:00:33.460 Yeah, but it goes back like he stole it from somebody else.

01:00:36.240 It goes back like way back.

01:00:36.940 Yeah, I think everything comes back to Mark Twain, but so what's the exact quote?

01:00:40.140 The quote is, if I had more time, I would have written you a shorter letter.

01:00:45.220 No, no, no.

01:00:45.680 The lightning bug quote.

01:00:46.380 Oh, the lightning bug.

01:00:47.020 Did you get that one?

01:00:48.020 No, I didn't hear that.

01:00:48.880 Oh, you're not paying attention.

01:00:49.780 No, I'm fucking looking up quotes.

01:00:51.260 Anyway, but Jordan, I know you have to hop on an airplane with your wife here pretty

01:00:56.560 soon, but before we forget to do this, why don't you share your social contacts?

01:01:01.600 Sure.

01:01:02.040 At Jordan Harbinger on Instagram and Twitter, if people still use that aside from the president

01:01:06.500 and or just to read the presidential tweets.

01:01:09.760 And I teach a lot of networking and relationship development stuff.

01:01:13.420 Actually, if you guys have a minute, I would love to go over like two of those little drills

01:01:17.240 because I think they're super freaking helpful.

01:01:19.060 Yeah, sure.

01:01:19.380 Yeah.

01:01:19.520 You know what?

01:01:20.280 Can you spell your name?

01:01:21.460 Because people do that all the time.

01:01:22.780 They say, well, I looked him up and I couldn't find him.

01:01:24.860 Oh, really?

01:01:25.320 Yeah.

01:01:25.580 Jordan, like J-O-R-D-A-N and then Harbinger, H-A-R-B-I-N-G-E-R.

01:01:30.580 Harbinger.

01:01:31.500 Like Harbinger of doom slash sorrow slash destruction.

01:01:35.280 Or something good.

01:01:35.900 Or something good.

01:01:36.560 But nobody ever uses that for anything.

01:01:37.900 Harbinger of joy.

01:01:38.200 No one's like Harbinger of rainbows.

01:01:39.580 The reason I want to give these drills is because I think young guys, especially guys and girls, but guys, especially we deprioritize our relationships in our businesses, especially because we don't think that we have time.

01:01:54.720 And so I think digging the well before you're thirsty, you never think you're going to be thirsty in the moment.

01:02:00.180 So you got to start those relationships off early.

01:02:02.400 And one of the things that I do to maintain connections in the network is every day around 10, 9 a.m., I scroll all the way down to the bottom of my text messages and I start texting the people that are at the bottom there.

01:02:14.320 And I'll be like, hey, man, been a long time.

01:02:16.420 Haven't spoken with you in a minute.

01:02:18.620 And then you sign.

01:02:19.340 Give me an update on what you're up to next.

01:02:21.200 I'd love to hear from you.

01:02:22.340 Sign your name so that they don't reply like new phone, who dis?

01:02:25.140 Or just ignore you because they're embarrassed.

01:02:27.260 And then you say no rush on the reply.

01:02:30.480 I know everyone's busy.

01:02:31.320 Because when you're trying to sell something, as you guys all know, you build urgency.

01:02:36.100 So then when I get a message from somebody from two years or whatever in my past, I'm like, is it Herbalife or Scientology?

01:02:41.220 Like, what's it going to be?

01:02:42.440 So if I say no rush on the reply, I destroy that urgency and it actually increases my response rate.

01:02:47.840 And I do that with four or five people a day.

01:02:49.840 Not every single person responds.

01:02:51.700 And you end up with a few minutes of conversation while you're waiting for coffee or whatever or between phone calls.

01:02:56.680 Dude, I do a similar thing to that, too, where I just check.

01:03:00.340 Like, I just do what I do is I send people the emoji, the three-fist emoji.

01:03:05.160 Like, this is something I always do.

01:03:06.820 And then I said, just thinking about you, bro.

01:03:08.660 Or just thinking about you.

01:03:09.720 And like, and then, so it's kind of the same thing.

01:03:12.340 Like, hey, dude, I'm just thinking about you.

01:03:13.660 It's not like, it's not like I need anything or whatever.

01:03:16.760 I'm just trying to let them know, like, hey, dude, I haven't forgotten about you.

01:03:19.960 Right.

01:03:20.180 You know what I mean?

01:03:20.920 And that works really well to help keep, just keep good things good.

01:03:25.340 Because what happens is, and this is the fucking worst.

01:03:29.600 Like, and this used to happen to me all the time.

01:03:31.620 It's like somebody would text me and it would get buried in my texts.

01:03:35.060 And I didn't reply.

01:03:38.160 All right.

01:03:38.540 But then a situation comes up where I need to get a hold of that person.

01:03:42.080 So then I fucking go to, like, text him and I look and I'm like, fuck.

01:03:45.440 Oh, I didn't reply to this.

01:03:46.320 I didn't reply.

01:03:46.940 Now I got to ask this guy for something.

01:03:48.780 And then you're the shitbag.

01:03:49.860 Yeah.

01:03:50.160 You know what I mean?

01:03:50.740 So, like, now I do the same thing that you're talking about.

01:03:53.840 But I just do it in a way of like, hey, man, I'm just.

01:03:56.460 And I do it in a genuine way.

01:03:57.820 Of course.

01:03:58.120 Like, when something, like, when somebody pops in my head, I just fucking shoot him a text.

01:04:02.780 But I, hey, bro, thinking about you.

01:04:04.020 I'll give you a sub drill for this then.

01:04:07.060 This is called opportunistic network maintenance.

01:04:09.440 And so this is something that will allow you to engage with people all the time without

01:04:14.480 having to be reminded by something or by being reminded by something that you don't have to

01:04:18.540 set up yourself.

01:04:19.140 So when you log into Instagram or Facebook, you see the news feed.

01:04:22.060 And if someone has a baby or gets married, you click like or you write a comment.

01:04:25.600 All that stuff is what I would say is below the fold, right?

01:04:28.520 Like, I'm not reading those comments.

01:04:31.360 Or if I do, I'm not like, oh, oh, that's cool.

01:04:33.940 The Vaughn commented on that.

01:04:34.940 I just see a thousand comments and I'm like, oh, all right, done.

01:04:37.420 And the likes, I'm not reading that list of likes.

01:04:40.040 But if somebody is in your network, which is in your news feed, and they have big news

01:04:45.520 in their life, they got a business thing, they've got an event going on, they had a

01:04:48.520 kid, they get married, send them a text.

01:04:51.160 If you don't have their number, send them an email.

01:04:53.700 If you do, maybe you could even give them a call on the phone.

01:04:56.200 All that stuff is above the fold.

01:04:58.460 It's higher on the...

01:04:59.340 It means something.

01:04:59.900 It means something.

01:05:00.820 And yeah, if you have their number or you reach out more, when I got married, I got

01:05:05.960 thousands of likes, thousands of comments on the picture, the relationship change.

01:05:09.940 But I probably got like 20, 30 phone calls and maybe like 40 texts.

01:05:15.140 But I remember those people, even if they weren't at the wedding.

01:05:19.220 No, and you are...

01:05:20.000 Even if it's...

01:05:20.720 Exactly.

01:05:21.340 That's exactly what I was going to say.

01:05:22.480 Even if they aren't somebody who's like real close to you, it puts them closer to you

01:05:29.440 because you're like, all right, this dude really cares or this girl really cares.

01:05:33.300 Exactly.

01:05:33.840 And all it did, you didn't have to do anything other...

01:05:37.240 You were going to click like, you were going to write a comment.

01:05:39.060 Just pick up your phone and write a comment in the freaking text field to that person or

01:05:43.400 an email if you don't have their number.

01:05:44.960 It's better.

01:05:45.700 It's higher on the engagement totem pole.

01:05:47.400 It brings your relationship.

01:05:48.820 It furthers the intimacy a little bit.

01:05:50.720 For sure.

01:05:50.940 And that kind of thing, I have...

01:05:53.100 So the reason I brought that up when you asked me for my contacts was because I have

01:05:56.380 a bunch of stuff on my new website, which is advancedhumandynamics.com, where I have

01:06:02.520 networking drills, body language drills, persuasion and influence stuff.

01:06:06.960 If you click level one, it's free.

01:06:08.820 It's not a thing that you have to buy.

01:06:10.220 Dude, you know what I love about you, dude, is that I know that you struggled with this

01:06:16.380 early on and that's why you've become a student of it.

01:06:18.960 Oh yeah, I was not good at this.

01:06:19.660 I'm the same way.

01:06:20.180 Like I started out fucking terrible and all the shit you're talking about, like the worst.

01:06:24.620 Like I knew you got it whenever you said, whenever he said, and when I said, I'm standing

01:06:29.340 in front of my manager meeting and he said, standing there with the paper shaking in your

01:06:32.180 hand, that's when I knew you fucking got it.

01:06:34.380 And the reason you are where you are, dude, isn't because you have a gift.

01:06:37.160 It's because you fucking made it your gift.

01:06:39.720 And I respect that, dude.

01:06:40.980 I think it's awesome because like I wouldn't be anywhere in my life without going through

01:06:45.860 all that same shit.

01:06:46.840 You know what I mean?

01:06:47.620 And like, I haven't made it my whole career, obviously, but it's something that fascinates

01:06:52.500 me.

01:06:52.620 But you're a case study in that it works.

01:06:54.720 Yeah.

01:06:55.000 But I'm saying like what you do, like the human dynamics and the interpersonal relationship

01:07:01.680 dynamics and all that shit fascinates me, man.

01:07:04.000 Like it's, and it's because I was so bad at it.

01:07:05.880 Are you the same way?

01:07:06.580 Yeah.

01:07:06.920 I was shy, quiet, nerdy, still nerdy, no shame.

01:07:12.100 Yeah.

01:07:12.540 But I was just like-

01:07:14.100 Nerds run the world, bro.

01:07:15.160 Yeah.

01:07:15.420 We do run the world.

01:07:16.340 Yeah.

01:07:16.640 Don't forget that.

01:07:17.660 Be nice to nerds because you're going to work for one if you don't already.

01:07:21.240 So yeah, I was always quiet and introverted and shy.

01:07:23.940 And eventually I was like, fuck this.

01:07:26.380 Yeah.

01:07:26.580 This fucking sucks.

01:07:27.540 Yeah.

01:07:27.840 And I looked at all the habits that people who are not introverted, quiet or shy were doing.

01:07:31.920 And I thought like, all right, these guys probably weren't born that way.

01:07:35.900 And if you look back, if you zoom out far enough on the timeline of somebody who you think

01:07:39.620 is well-networked or persuasive or wealthy or interesting or funny, if you zoom out far

01:07:44.700 enough on the timeline, you find somebody in their environment or some influence in their

01:07:48.680 environment that might make it look natural.

01:07:51.620 And I'll give you this example right now.

01:07:53.520 So if you find a kid that you think, well, no, my friend Matt, even when we were in elementary

01:07:58.660 school, he was outgoing and fun.

01:08:00.140 And okay, but he had an older brother and his older brother was on a team that was co-ed.

01:08:06.440 So he had girls over the house all the time.

01:08:08.340 So you weren't afraid of girls when you were six years old, like I, like me and every other

01:08:12.700 guy were because you're around older kids.

01:08:14.500 So then they hung out with you and blah, blah, blah.

01:08:16.300 And then one of the time you got to middle school and high school, you were used to having

01:08:19.400 women around.

01:08:20.060 So you looked like you were naturally outgoing and comfortable around women, but you were

01:08:23.780 not.

01:08:24.260 Yes.

01:08:24.520 You learned it earlier.

01:08:25.700 Yes.

01:08:26.100 That's it.

01:08:26.620 Dude, I love that, man, because people look at people who are charismatic or who are successful

01:08:33.960 or who are personalities and like, dude, they look at it and they're like, God, you have

01:08:38.660 a gift.

01:08:39.080 Like, dude, I get this shit all the time.

01:08:40.480 They're like, dude, you have this gift about with your voice and this and your ability to

01:08:44.900 speak.

01:08:45.360 And dude, go listen to my first podcast.

01:08:48.140 Oh yeah.

01:08:48.620 It was fucking terrible.

01:08:50.040 Don't listen to my first podcast, please.

01:08:51.900 No, I leave it up for the, for the specific reason of letting people understand that this

01:08:59.240 is all a skill that you learn.

01:09:00.960 You know what I mean?

01:09:01.500 It's not a gift.

01:09:02.420 The tape doesn't lie, right?

01:09:03.720 Right.

01:09:03.860 You look at like, if you had a picture or a video of that, that meeting you were holding

01:09:08.120 with the paper shaking and you, people would go, that's not you.

01:09:11.580 That's a guy that kind of looks like you, but it's not you.

01:09:13.640 Right.

01:09:13.800 And in a way they're right.

01:09:15.060 Right.

01:09:15.380 You're not that guy anymore.

01:09:16.480 You know what's really funny is as much as you've said that, I still believe people

01:09:21.120 don't believe it.

01:09:22.580 And I'm telling you guys, literally go back and listen to episode like three or four.

01:09:27.020 No, listen to one.

01:09:27.940 Yeah.

01:09:28.520 Hey guys, uh, I'm Andy.

01:09:31.020 Uh, this is the, this is a fucking podcast.

01:09:33.860 This is the MF CEO.

01:09:35.420 It's not for pussies.

01:09:38.500 Yeah.

01:09:39.140 It's terrible.

01:09:40.400 But the content was still good.

01:09:42.260 No, the content was great.

01:09:43.120 I didn't know how to really do anything.

01:09:45.780 Present it.

01:09:46.060 Yeah.

01:09:46.480 Yeah.

01:09:47.160 And, and it's the same for every single skill.

01:09:49.380 Cause people right now are going, yeah, but you're, you've got that aggression thing

01:09:53.080 that your dad taught you.

01:09:54.200 And so of course you're good at business.

01:09:55.820 I don't have that.

01:09:57.340 Everything that people see about you or me or any of us here, this is by the time the

01:10:02.400 plant, what is it?

01:10:03.760 You gave this example perfectly.

01:10:05.220 I think it was Chinese bamboo, right?

01:10:06.460 Yeah.

01:10:06.480 The Chinese bamboo tree.

01:10:07.160 By the time you water it for like, for years or months or whatever, then it pops up and

01:10:11.460 you go, oh man, this thing grows really fast.

01:10:13.260 It looks like it grows really fast if you watered it.

01:10:15.400 And then a day later it popped up above the ground.

01:10:17.360 Yeah.

01:10:17.500 What you don't see is all of the fuck ups that everybody made.

01:10:20.940 Dude, I think everybody has the things.

01:10:23.000 I think the, I think the reason that my content resonates with people is because they do have

01:10:28.920 what the fuck I have.

01:10:30.800 Yeah.

01:10:31.020 They're just afraid to let people see it.

01:10:32.900 Sure.

01:10:33.380 You know what I mean?

01:10:33.920 Like, they're like, oh dude, if I go out, it's like, it's like doing something, anything

01:10:38.040 new for the first time, you know?

01:10:39.420 Like, like, let's say you were going to take a singing lesson and there was other people

01:10:43.400 in the room and you're, you're afraid cause you're like, fuck dude, there's other people

01:10:48.180 here.

01:10:48.400 Like I'm good in the car.

01:10:49.620 I'm good.

01:10:50.180 But like, dude, this shit, this ain't the same.

01:10:52.600 And you're fucking terrified.

01:10:53.600 And like, dude, that's, that's what it's like.

01:10:56.280 You know what I mean?

01:10:56.760 You just have to get past that, that, um, I'm going to feel weird phase and just know

01:11:01.860 that you're going to feel weird until, until you don't expect to not be where you want

01:11:06.840 to be pretty much ever in your life.

01:11:09.000 Like, I don't, I don't want to speak for you, but I would say right now where I'm at, I'm

01:11:12.420 like, people go, man, you're, you're just built this huge thing.

01:11:15.480 And I'm not, I'm like, well, my windshield is bigger than my rear view mirror.

01:11:18.900 Yeah.

01:11:19.160 You know, I'm looking at what's ahead.

01:11:20.480 And I say that all the time.

01:11:21.660 I say, I'm just getting started and people, people think I'm saying that to be humble

01:11:26.660 or something.

01:11:27.280 No, I'm saying it in a literal way, you know, and I don't feel, I don't feel successful at

01:11:32.180 all.

01:11:32.600 I just don't.

01:11:33.400 I feel like I've, I feel like I've figured out a little bit.

01:11:36.640 I'm like, all right, I figured out a little bit.

01:11:38.040 You got the foundation set up and you're just getting ready to build the building.

01:11:41.320 Yeah.

01:11:41.560 But like, dude, you know, I also believe that true entrepreneurs, like I can always tell if

01:11:46.740 somebody is a real entrepreneur by the way they speak about what their life's going

01:11:50.640 to be like.

01:11:51.040 Like if they say, oh yeah, I'm going to fucking, I'm building this business so I can sell it

01:11:55.840 at 35 years old and retire.

01:11:57.760 You don't have it, bro.

01:11:58.860 Yeah.

01:11:59.040 Yeah.

01:11:59.160 That ain't, that ain't, you don't have it because to be successful, you've got to love the process

01:12:03.540 and love the game of entrepreneurship because the guys who are winning big, they all love

01:12:08.240 it.

01:12:08.620 Yeah.

01:12:08.780 And those guys are going to stomp you.

01:12:10.520 And a real entrepreneur couldn't sit on a fucking beach.

01:12:13.140 Could never sit on the beach.

01:12:14.480 Exactly.

01:12:14.920 I was going to say, people go, what's your exit strategy?

01:12:16.840 And I'm like, death.

01:12:18.120 Yeah.

01:12:18.680 Mine too.

01:12:19.620 Mine too.

01:12:20.560 Like, cause dude, I've had some really big offers to buy our company.

01:12:24.040 Um, not where I, not 10 figure, but nine figure offers and, uh, like to where I would literally

01:12:30.520 never have to fucking work or do anything.

01:12:33.100 And we've turned them down because I'm, I make enough money to live the life I want to live.

01:12:39.440 Right.

01:12:39.720 I love the guys here and the, and the girls here in our office.

01:12:42.460 I love coming to work every day.

01:12:43.960 I love building shit.

01:12:45.340 I love creating shit.

01:12:47.060 Like, like I think about it, like how it would negatively affect my life having that money

01:12:51.800 because it wouldn't change anything.

01:12:55.880 How I would live and what it would do is take away all the shit that I love.

01:12:59.300 Exactly.

01:13:00.020 You know?

01:13:00.520 Yeah.

01:13:01.200 And, uh, that's how real entrepreneurs think about shit.

01:13:05.160 You know what I mean?

01:13:05.720 I agree with you, man.

01:13:06.660 I don't, I don't know anybody that is thinking about quitting.

01:13:08.520 Like, why would I take a lot of money and give away all the shit that I love about my

01:13:11.520 life?

01:13:11.840 It doesn't make any sense.

01:13:12.680 No, it makes no sense.

01:13:13.440 You'd end up trying to buy your way back into the feeling you get from running this.

01:13:16.920 And you couldn't.

01:13:17.520 And you couldn't.

01:13:18.120 You couldn't recreate it.

01:13:18.940 You'd, you'd either be into some bad shit or you'd have a bunch of stuff that you don't

01:13:22.640 like as much that takes up all your time and energy.

01:13:24.760 Bro, I would be so self-destructive.

01:13:27.080 Oh, man.

01:13:27.280 I would be, I'd be dead in fucking two years.

01:13:29.360 Yeah.

01:13:29.620 I would go fucking crazy.

01:13:30.620 I know it sounds funny, but I think people don't believe you.

01:13:33.460 It's true.

01:13:34.000 Yeah.

01:13:34.260 You see wealthy or successful entertainers and they get on a down slump.

01:13:39.620 You don't turn to cocaine because you go to a party and you try it and you like it.

01:13:42.080 You turn to it because you, you get the feeling from that stuff that you were getting

01:13:45.800 before this other shit got out of the way.

01:13:48.020 You shouldn't have fucked with any drugs, dude.

01:13:49.020 You shouldn't.

01:13:49.300 Like, I used to smoke a lot of weed, but, and, and dude, uh, but like, I never, I never

01:13:54.080 did drugs.

01:13:54.640 You know why?

01:13:55.760 Because people don't get hooked on drugs because the shit makes you feel bad.

01:13:58.520 Right.

01:13:58.940 Yeah.

01:13:59.260 You know you'll like it.

01:14:00.220 Like, dude, I would fucking smoke some crack and I would be fucking, I'd be making a documentary

01:14:04.340 about me.

01:14:04.860 It'd be like, look at this guy who used to be this.

01:14:07.400 Right.

01:14:07.660 And now here he is on the fucking sidewalk with a crack pipe.

01:14:09.980 Yeah.

01:14:10.260 The rise and fall of Andy Frazillo.

01:14:11.680 Yeah.

01:14:11.880 It would take one fucking hit of crack.

01:14:13.680 It would be over.

01:14:15.040 Did you, uh, have you, sorry.

01:14:17.660 I, do you have any other, uh, points on your drill?

01:14:20.600 Oh, uh, there's so many drills, advancedhumandynamics.com and then click level one or go to slash level

01:14:25.860 one.

01:14:26.040 That's cool.

01:14:26.200 I'm going to go check that out.

01:14:27.040 Do it.

01:14:27.320 It's, it's, look, it's free.

01:14:28.500 The reason it's free is because it's the highest leverage stuff that you can do is maintain

01:14:32.360 and you're going to see how I look on video, which is not going to be as polished as it

01:14:37.540 is on the radio.

01:14:38.780 But, uh, it, the highest leverage stuff you can do, especially when you're young, not even when

01:14:43.460 you're young in any business is always relationships, relationships.

01:14:46.220 I don't have to explain this to you.

01:14:47.380 You know this stuff, but I want to hammer it home for everybody listening to, and that's

01:14:52.060 why I'm like, I want to give this stuff away.

01:14:53.600 In my opinion, that's the people who are going to, you want to know the difference between,

01:14:58.080 and I said this a million times on this podcast, the difference between people who are, you

01:15:02.560 know, 40 to $80,000 a year people and the difference between people who are 250 to a million

01:15:08.340 dollars has the only thing it has to do with is their ability to sell and their ability

01:15:12.620 to manage people.

01:15:13.720 And guess what, guess what skills you need for that?

01:15:15.680 Yeah.

01:15:16.200 Yeah.

01:15:16.500 Soft skills, networking, relationship development, and sales.

01:15:21.420 So dude, um, thank you so much for making the trip out here.

01:15:25.420 Thanks for having me, man.

01:15:26.440 This has been awesome.

01:15:27.400 I got to tell you, when I heard your show before, I was like, wow, this guy is like a

01:15:32.400 little high energy and abrasive.

01:15:33.720 And then I started talking to people and I'm like, what's up with this Andy Frizzella

01:15:36.340 guy?

01:15:36.980 And they're like, oh, he's a good dude.

01:15:38.360 And then, uh, I was texting with you and then my wife was texting with you and I was

01:15:41.340 like, isn't he just so nice?

01:15:42.860 I did not expect this.

01:15:44.400 I did not.

01:15:45.300 I really didn't.

01:15:46.000 But it's a testament to your skill in relationship development that you can be an authentic version

01:15:50.660 of yourself where you're like, you're, you're telling people what they need to hear.

01:15:54.040 But then when you're talking with someone who's a friend, you, you don't have like a,

01:15:58.400 an aggressive persona.

01:16:00.000 Yeah.

01:16:00.140 I appreciate it.

01:16:00.680 An abrasive persona.

01:16:01.820 No dude, it's look, man, the reason it's branding, right?

01:16:04.880 Like it's, it's my product.

01:16:06.120 My product is, my product is different than everybody else's because it's an authentic,

01:16:11.740 aggressive stance on the shit that people need to hear.

01:16:17.180 And, uh, you know, I, I'm passionate about it and that's where that comes from.

01:16:22.040 But like, dude, I don't run around my house yelling at my wife.

01:16:25.840 Like every day.

01:16:26.760 I'm a pretty chill dude.

01:16:27.880 Like, you know, I'm a fun guy to hang out with.

01:16:30.160 And if we're going to drink beers, we're gonna have a good fucking time.

01:16:32.140 But like, when I get to talking about like the shit people need to know, dude, like I

01:16:36.980 get angry at the lies they're told.

01:16:38.860 And really what you're seeing when I, when I post like clips or bites that are, you know,

01:16:44.200 of course over the top, really what you're seeing is my, my anger for people lying to

01:16:50.180 other people coming out.

01:16:51.440 You know what I mean?

01:16:52.000 And it's just, cause dude, I was lied to and I was told the wrong way.

01:16:55.740 And I spent decades of my life trying to figure it out.

01:16:58.760 And so it's frustrating to me.

01:17:00.920 And I'm not frustrated at people.

01:17:02.860 I'm frustrated at the people who taught those people.

01:17:05.880 Right.

01:17:06.060 The noise.

01:17:06.820 Yes, man.

01:17:07.840 So I don't know, man.

01:17:09.220 Like, and I, like, this is just another example.

01:17:13.080 You know, you know, we don't monetize our podcast cause I fucking love doing it.

01:17:16.540 You know, I just love it.

01:17:17.460 And eventually we're going to have products that are going to monetize.

01:17:19.980 Like we sell some children's book.

01:17:21.640 Everything that we do is designed around.

01:17:23.880 That was unexpected too.

01:17:25.020 But my wife's like, he's got these children's books.

01:17:26.920 And I was like, wait, who does?

01:17:29.060 I were talking about Andy Frazella.

01:17:30.520 He's got children's books.

01:17:31.640 And, and, and fortunately, you know, people have really, um, supported those and, and

01:17:36.140 really done a great job helping, uh, other people learn about it.

01:17:40.300 But I mean, dude, this is about impact, man.

01:17:42.320 You know what I mean?

01:17:42.820 Like I'm, I'm, I'm a fucking rich dude.

01:17:44.880 Like, you know what I'm saying?

01:17:46.120 Like, I live a crazy fucking life.

01:17:49.040 Like it's like rockstar shit, but what I love to do is fucking help people.

01:17:56.000 I just fucking love it.

01:17:56.920 Like, I love the business we're in, um, because we're able to send somebody away for six months

01:18:02.340 and have them come back a completely different person, uh, emotionally, physically, you know,

01:18:07.240 confidence wise.

01:18:08.040 I love what we do here because I feel like I'm able to relay some of the lessons that I was

01:18:14.440 taught, um, through life.

01:18:16.260 And also by my dad, I was very fortunate to have a dad who by all accounts was not like

01:18:23.980 the most loving dad.

01:18:25.740 Like if you looked at him from the outside, you guys would be like, this dude's fucking

01:18:29.020 crazy.

01:18:29.640 But the reality is, is he loved us way more than what most dads love their kids because

01:18:34.200 he was, he had, he had the understanding of what real love is, which is telling you the

01:18:39.080 fucking truth and preparing you for reality.

01:18:41.080 And I was very fortunate and, and I don't use the word luck very much, but I was lucky

01:18:45.560 to have that.

01:18:46.800 Um, and I try to share that, man.

01:18:48.960 You know what I'm saying?

01:18:49.500 Cause not everybody has it.

01:18:50.760 Good on you, man.

01:18:51.420 Cause I think a lot of people would take the opportunity to create a platform like this

01:18:55.320 and just go, cool.

01:18:56.940 I'm going to sell them some, some more shit.

01:18:59.580 Yeah.

01:19:00.160 And dude, we are going to sell some shit, but, but I mean, it's all going to be shit.

01:19:03.520 It's healthy shit.

01:19:04.160 Yes.

01:19:04.460 It's all going to be stuff that will return on someone's life in a financial way.

01:19:10.120 A hundred, a thousand fold.

01:19:12.480 You know what I mean?

01:19:13.060 So I can feel good about that.

01:19:14.560 Yeah.

01:19:14.880 Good.

01:19:15.360 And that's got uncensored children's books coming out.

01:19:17.780 Uncensored children's books.

01:19:18.760 Yeah.

01:19:18.940 Like what's that one that, uh, the go to fuck to sleep.

01:19:21.320 Go to fuck to sleep.

01:19:21.940 Yeah.

01:19:22.420 That video of, uh, who, who's reading that?

01:19:24.540 Samuel L. Jackson.

01:19:25.100 Oh my God, dude.

01:19:26.140 That's one of the funniest videos ever.

01:19:27.580 Yeah.

01:19:27.880 He's like, go with the fuck to sleep.

01:19:30.500 And he's like, so it's so calm.

01:19:32.260 Yeah.

01:19:32.600 So chill.

01:19:32.960 He's such a good dude.

01:19:34.200 He's such a good voice guy.

01:19:36.000 Yeah.

01:19:36.300 Him, uh, uh, what's his face?

01:19:39.680 Uh, Lawrence Fishburne's voice.

01:19:41.160 Oh yeah.

01:19:41.560 Of course.

01:19:41.980 Morgan Freeman's voice.

01:19:43.480 Those guys are so fucking good at what they do.

01:19:45.720 Yeah.

01:19:46.000 Like I just, I'm big fans of their voice work.

01:19:48.380 It's so hard to do voice work too.

01:19:50.300 Oh yeah.

01:19:50.900 Yeah.

01:19:51.060 Yeah.

01:19:51.160 Yeah.

01:19:51.460 Like dude, it's just, I don't know.

01:19:53.160 The more I get into podcasting, the more I pay attention to people's voice work.

01:19:56.680 Yes.

01:19:57.140 And I'm really becoming a, like a fan of people that can like have their, their fucking style.

01:20:02.960 It's tough, man.

01:20:03.780 It's really no different than fucking rapping.

01:20:05.940 Remember Tyler and I just started working on some rap shit with our buddy Mark and, uh,

01:20:11.480 fuck that shit's hard, dude.

01:20:12.680 It's a totally different art.

01:20:13.800 He sucks so bad at the beginning.

01:20:15.340 Oh yeah.

01:20:15.740 So bad at the beginning.

01:20:16.420 Yeah.

01:20:16.760 I got fucking way better quick.

01:20:18.440 Yeah.

01:20:18.600 Yeah.

01:20:18.740 Yeah.

01:20:18.820 You got, you got way better in those only over the course of a couple of days and Mark's

01:20:22.120 like, man, I've never heard somebody pick it up this quick.

01:20:24.680 Yeah.

01:20:24.700 But it is a different thing, man.

01:20:26.340 Cause it's like, you know how like in podcasting you develop your style or radio, you develop

01:20:29.980 your style.

01:20:30.780 And then that was just a whole different thing.

01:20:33.460 But, uh, is the boys in the hood always hard.

01:20:36.680 Yeah.

01:20:37.160 I'm, I'm bro.

01:20:38.060 I can drop it on you, man.

01:20:39.500 I don't care.

01:20:40.020 I can drop it on you.

01:20:41.020 Vanilla ice style.

01:20:42.160 I can drop it on you.

01:20:42.700 I will fucking, next time Mark comes in town, we're bringing this motherfucker over cause

01:20:47.300 I would love to fucking see him weasel his way through a fucking rap verse.

01:20:51.400 Easily I approach the microphone cause I ain't no joke.

01:20:55.720 Tell your mama.

01:20:56.780 Get the fuck out of here.

01:20:57.200 I'm cringing.

01:20:57.940 Could you be any more fucking white?

01:21:02.020 Actually, literally no.

01:21:03.860 Literally.

01:21:04.600 I don't know that I could have any less pigment in my skin unless I was an actual albino.

01:21:09.600 That's the fucking truth.

01:21:10.760 But, uh, you know, you got the, you, you got the, uh, you got the hood blood in you.

01:21:16.460 Yeah.

01:21:16.720 Oh, I do.

01:21:17.340 Yeah.

01:21:17.580 The hood blood.

01:21:18.640 All right.

01:21:19.520 Well, dude, thank you so much, man.

01:21:20.880 Thank you guys.

01:21:21.560 Yeah.

01:21:21.760 Anything, uh, guys, if you're not following him, make sure you do and make sure you check

01:21:25.660 out his website because, um, he's teaching you and has dedicated a big part of his life

01:21:30.980 to teaching you guys, uh, a great foundation for the skills that you're going to need to earn

01:21:35.900 more money.

01:21:36.400 And, uh, we kind of went all over on this podcast, but, but Jordan is one of the best

01:21:41.620 in the world at what he does and, uh, make sure that you're, you're giving his content

01:21:45.740 proper attention because it's going to benefit you a lot.

01:21:48.160 And your podcast is actually just called the Jordan Harbinger show.

01:21:50.800 That's right.

01:21:51.160 The Jordan Harbinger show.

01:21:52.500 You can find it anywhere.

01:21:54.060 Fine podcasts are sold.

01:21:55.620 They're all free.

01:21:56.600 I don't know.

01:21:57.260 I don't know.

01:21:57.820 We're in the fine podcast category.

01:22:01.180 That's right.

01:22:01.560 All right.

01:22:01.780 That's right.

01:22:02.220 Yeah.

01:22:02.900 We're, we're MF CEO adjacent.

01:22:05.020 That's right.

01:22:06.180 We're winging each other across the aisle.

01:22:08.060 That's right.

01:22:08.960 All right, guys.

01:22:09.740 Thanks.

01:22:10.180 Thanks for listening.

01:22:11.060 Make sure you pay the fee and we'll see you next time.

01:22:13.440 We'll see you next time.

01:22:18.640 We'll see you next time.

01:22:19.360 We'll be right back.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - May 22, 2018

How to Develop 7-Figure Social Skills, ft. Jordan Harbinger, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO237

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