REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 12, 2017

How To End Relationships That Impede Your Progress, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO173

Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 5 minutes

Words per Minute

217.77199

Word Count

14,260

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

161

Summary

Summaries are generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ.

In this episode of The Momfucking Ceo Project, Andy and his co-host, Vaughn the Pastor of Disaster, discuss the concept of patting your own back and why it s a bad thing.

Transcript

Transcript is generated with Whisper (turbo).

Misogyny classification is done with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny.

Hate speech classification is done with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target.

00:00:00.000 what is up guys you're listening to the mf ceo project i'm andy i'm your host and i am the

00:00:13.600 motherfucking ceo guys uh today is a normal tuesday podcast i know we haven't had one in a

00:00:20.260 while uh appreciate you guys sticking with us you know sometimes um we like to do shorter ones when

00:00:25.460 it's just me sometimes you know we get the whole team together and we knock out a in-depth podcast

00:00:30.120 today is one of those days and we've got a really cool topic that we're going to talk about uh before

00:00:35.880 we get into that topic i'm going to introduce my team here uh as always i'm joined by my co-host

00:00:41.740 vaughn the pastor of disaster what's up man things are good hey speaking of really cool topics i got

00:00:48.140 to tell you i mean we're a little biased but i think that after a hundred episodes we're still

00:00:53.200 keeping it really fresh oh yeah i think i think i was a little worried about that your way to is

00:00:57.620 that your way to pat your own back uh tyler what do you think kind of i think vaughn's patting his

00:01:02.360 own back i think i think the audience knows that he likes to do that by now maybe but you know i

00:01:07.220 know a guy that thinks swag and cockiness is actually a good thing hey i'm not dogging you i'm

00:01:11.400 just asking i'm just asking yeah but you got it wouldn't you agree that most podcasts after

00:01:16.480 you don't pat your own pat your own back first nobody else gonna fucking pat it for you that's

00:01:20.220 what i'm saying to your own horn i think we have that's right i think we have an episode on that

00:01:23.000 yeah so dude uh you were asking me what i was doing before i walked in here um everybody that

00:01:30.700 follows me for the most part understands uh and knows that i just got the brand new 2017 ford gt

00:01:36.820 um i got the first customer car uh it was the first one delivered outside of ford executives uh it was

00:01:43.760 the first custom color car um very very historic important car uh aurora borealis no racio

00:01:52.340 borealis yeah i was close so that's a lamborghini color um it took a lot for it to get them to do

00:01:57.960 that it's just uh it's uh it's kind of like a homage to my because i love lamborghini and uh you

00:02:05.260 know i love the color it's a four-stage golden orange paint uh looks really amazing in person

00:02:09.660 but anyhow the car's been really really good and i like it a lot and um i'm having this issue with it

00:02:16.720 where the dash is uh one of the panels on the dash is actually peeling up okay and i've got a

00:02:23.540 couple other buddies who got 2017 ford gts and i'm like text them and pictures of the dash i'm like

00:02:30.600 hey man uh is is your dash peeling up here it's like the panel that holds the airbag down you know

00:02:36.260 what i'm saying yeah like it's like its own panel cut into the dash and one of the corners is like

00:02:40.200 peeling up and uh and so i text my other buddies who have cars as well and they're sending me pictures

00:02:47.800 back their dashes look normal so i i uh called ford uh the customer the concierge and i text them

00:02:56.360 and i say hey you know uh this is going on i want to get it fixed it's it's bothering me and okay i'll

00:03:02.560 get you an answer um now i didn't get an answer back uh so i text my my friend um dave banister who

00:03:15.400 has also got a ford gt and i say hey bro you know what's going on with these guys uh you know i text

00:03:21.580 these guys like a week ago i haven't got an answer back i want to get this car fixed it's it's annoying

00:03:25.580 me you know when you pay yeah a lot of money for a car even though like it doesn't affect you it

00:03:30.820 affects you you know what i'm saying i want it to be fucking perfect even if you spend 20 grand on a

00:03:35.440 car if it's brand new like you expect shit to work right right and like dude here's the thing like

00:03:39.320 mine was the first car they rushed it to get it done they they worked their ass off to get it done

00:03:44.420 for me and i understand that and i appreciate that but i just want to fucking answer like give me an

00:03:49.360 answer the same day i asked the question don't let me hang on for like a week and just wonder what

00:03:53.700 the fuck is going on when you spent half a million dollars plus on a car so anyway so uh so

00:04:00.800 i call dave and i'm like i call him and leave him a voice text and i'm like bro i'm like this is

00:04:05.400 fucking bullshit and like i'm getting pissed because i haven't heard anything back dude literally

00:04:09.940 five minutes later i get a call from the director of ford performance henry ford the third on my cell

00:04:16.660 phone oh yeah calls me up on my cell phone five minutes after i left that voice text and is is and

00:04:23.000 and i i answered the phone because it was an unknown number and i never do it's henry ford the third

00:04:28.180 you know what i'm saying like crazy like his fucking name is on the car and

00:04:32.040 dude what's his title again he's the i forget what he said i think he's the head marketing

00:04:37.460 director at ford performance or operations director or something but uh i mean he's in line to be the

00:04:42.640 ceo he's he's a guy nice he's the guy right so anyway uh you know he's i mean over the top

00:04:53.160 apologetic you know let me know that they're on it they're taking care of it um i mean you could

00:05:02.020 tell he was legitimately embarrassed that you know what i'm saying yeah and i i just wanted to share

00:05:07.440 that story to all you guys from an entrepreneurship aspect for two reasons one

00:05:12.420 when your company fucks up and does something wrong you as the ceo or the main guy or the

00:05:20.440 you are not too big ever to pick up the fucking phone and call a customer i i was blown away i

00:05:27.060 couldn't believe it you know what i mean yeah second of all as a business owner it is your job to

00:05:34.020 resolve issues like that when it neat when when they arise so i just thought that was fucking amazing

00:05:39.920 that he called up and and basically gave me his word that it was going to be taken care of immediately

00:05:45.140 and uh i just thought it was an excellent example of how to handle a disgruntled customer a customer

00:05:50.620 that's pissed off you know we've talked about this in podcasts before but rarely have i had that

00:05:55.780 actually i rarely have i ever seen it happen you know usually when you have a big company you're

00:06:00.860 dealing with you know they don't give a fuck about you you know what i mean they're they're they're

00:06:06.900 above you they don't care if you have a problem well then fuck you you know what i mean and i just

00:06:11.880 thought that was amazing that he uh that he picked up the phone and called me personally to talk about

00:06:17.320 it and i i mean that's what i wanted to tell the story as an example of how the right way to handle

00:06:22.400 shit is you know what i mean and um you know if henry ford the third is is not too big enough to call a

00:06:29.840 fucking customer then you aren't either yeah you know what i'm saying now i'm i'm gonna guess that

00:06:35.300 he didn't introduce himself as henry ford the third did he say like call me hank no he said

00:06:39.660 henry this henry ford third oh did he really yeah i guess if you have that name yeah not just henry

00:06:44.520 ford that's amazing so i mean dude it was uh i don't know i thought it was a great it was a great

00:06:50.520 um example of how to handle things when things are going the wrong way because dude as i was like

00:06:55.600 a thousand percent pissed and with and within two minutes i was the opposite now i'm telling the

00:07:01.220 story to fucking millions of people that are going to have an awesome fucking perception of how they

00:07:06.520 do business right you know what i'm saying right and uh the reverse jarvis yeah and that's what you

00:07:12.080 guys have to understand you know i get a lot of questions about how to handle disgruntled customers

00:07:17.720 realize that disgruntled customers they're vocal and they're going to be vocal if you fix them as well

00:07:22.780 so they're really the biggest opportunity for you to grow your business because if you make things

00:07:27.280 right with them they will go out and tell good stories about you and that's that's extremely

00:07:33.040 valuable and i i don't think that's why he called i didn't get that that it was genuine you know he

00:07:38.480 was embarrassed and i told him i said hey there's a couple things about the car you guys could change

00:07:42.580 to make it better and he's like dude let's set up a time to talk about it because i i i want to hear

00:07:47.540 because he saw my application video he's like i want to hear what you think and i said well the first

00:07:52.120 thing is the traction control needs to be able to go all the way off so i could do some fucking

00:07:55.220 burnouts and show people on the internet how awesome the car is and he's like that you can't

00:08:00.340 do that he didn't even know that you couldn't do it and the point is is like that you get valuable

00:08:05.900 feedback from customers absolutely you know what i mean and um there's a few other little tweaks

00:08:11.500 about the car that could be better that could that would be easy fixes they could fix them in all the

00:08:15.360 cars that are without even having them in just programming issues but the point is is that this is a

00:08:20.640 dude who is the main guy in charge of that project and and basically in charge of the company

00:08:25.800 and taking his time to call a customer personally to find out what the fuck they could do better

00:08:32.140 and that impresses me with a hundred and something year old company absolutely you know what i mean

00:08:37.240 guys while we're on that andy referred to this but uh episode 98 is actually called pissed off

00:08:43.860 customers annoyance or opportunity yeah it's a good one to review if you haven't seen it and and while

00:08:49.300 we're on that we've recently realized didn't know this prior to this but um that if you actually

00:08:55.040 follow a link directly to itunes rather than following our mf ceo links you actually help us a lot

00:09:01.800 in terms of uh rankings and and getting visibility so thank you for doing that um people are doing

00:09:07.000 that and that's great yeah so uh so definitely go back and listen to that one so uh

00:09:13.300 we'll talk about the winners of the of the contest here at the end of the podcast yes so let's do that

00:09:21.060 at the end let's do the podcast and then we'll talk about the winners of the contest sounds good so

00:09:25.120 anyway uh i have no idea what we're going to talk about today so you're gonna have to like

00:09:31.560 clamoring for your for your insight on uh relationships and we're not going to talk about

00:09:36.120 like significant other well i guess in a way we were going to talk about significant others but

00:09:40.700 one of the biggest questions that we get emails all the time are like andy what do i do i've got

00:09:48.320 all these people they're bringing me down i'm trying to kill it i just don't know i don't i don't know

00:09:53.580 how to do it you know i want to be nice but all that all the all the questions related to that

00:09:59.840 i feel like that's been covered like 10 times yeah but you know the thing is though i think it's an

00:10:04.540 important subject because i think people have a very hard time dealing with it you know what i'm saying

00:10:09.560 like you know when when when i say and i mean this you have to you have to decide you have two

00:10:17.740 options you can either cut them off and remove them from your life or you could become just like

00:10:23.620 them that's the power of your circle that's the power of the the people you surround yourself with

00:10:29.480 you are going to become like those people it doesn't matter if they're billionaires you're going

00:10:36.400 to become a billionaire just from association it's just the way it works if they're fucking

00:10:40.200 crack smokers you're probably gonna start smoking crack and everything in between those two parallel

00:10:45.040 or those two polar opposites but the point is is that you know people have a hard time making the

00:10:50.420 decision they think they think whenever you say you know you have negative people or you have people

00:10:55.420 who mock your dreams and you have people who you know purposely try to make you feel like shit by

00:11:00.140 calling you greedy or selfish or whatever it is uh whether they're friends or even family or parents or

00:11:05.700 whoever uh people think that whenever i say cut them off that that there's some kind of fucking

00:11:11.240 gray area there and there isn't there's no gray area there if so i don't care if it's your fucking

00:11:16.160 mother if your mom is telling you that you're not going to be shit and uh you know your dreams are stupid

00:11:22.280 and you're greedy for wanting to do this and that and this but in your heart that's what you truly desire

00:11:27.080 to do you are going to have a really fucking hard time accomplishing those things with somebody that

00:11:32.640 close to you in your ear about those goals putting negative seeds in your brain that are going to

00:11:37.980 sprout and the the problem with this guys is that yeah i get it you're supposed to love your fucking

00:11:43.100 mom no matter what but sometimes you've got to love yourself first and loving yourself is being true to

00:11:48.560 yourself and you have two choices you could you can go out and cut that relationship off or minimize it

00:11:54.400 to the maximum and have a situation where you're doing what fulfills you what makes you happy

00:11:58.780 or you can just listen to it and do what they think and live the life that they think you should

00:12:03.920 live which is going to ultimately leave you unfulfilled and unhappy for your whole entire

00:12:07.940 life and guys we only get one crack at this shit so it makes sense to go out and do the things that

00:12:13.900 are going to make you happy regardless of what anybody else thinks right so to clarify my my babbling

00:12:18.800 earlier what we're talking about guys is how to free yourself from what i would say are distracting

00:12:23.220 dead-end dangerous relationships and so i think one of the things that passes through my mind andy is

00:12:31.040 that people really have a hard time understanding the difference between what it means to be firm and

00:12:36.060 what it means to be mean they're all about well i don't want to be mean well there's a difference

00:12:39.720 between being mean and mean and being firm right it's standing up for yourself mean right i'm asking

00:12:45.280 you no no it's not i don't think it is either you know i'm saying i think that people people these

00:12:51.120 days have become so soft and delicate that they feel like whenever a uh person disagrees with their

00:12:59.000 viewpoint whether no matter how it's presented whether it could be presented in the most polite

00:13:03.280 way they take offense to it like hey look man i'm not going to agree with everything you fucking say

00:13:08.940 you know like tyler and i just got in a conversation last night about cars and we were disagreeing about

00:13:13.200 something i don't i'm not coming in here all pissed off and be like oh fuck you tyler i can't believe

00:13:18.180 you disagree with me no i'm just stating my point stating his point and then we move on you know

00:13:24.000 but society doesn't work like that i think a lot of it has to do with facebook because people like

00:13:28.220 it should be called like debate book like no matter what the fuck you say you get people that want to

00:13:33.520 post the opposing view and start it into a debate you know and that comes down to a whole nother issue

00:13:39.400 which is facebook reminds me of the front of the white house where people like set up tables like come

00:13:44.280 come argue with me yes dude and like it's it makes no sense like it's people who

00:13:51.580 try to win conversations versus trying to learn from a conversation or or hear some the the skill

00:14:00.500 of listening has become like extinct you know what i mean like people ought to believe what they believe

00:14:06.160 and if we're going to have a conversation about cars or about politics or about whatever we're going to

00:14:11.680 try to beat each other in the conversation versus being like all right let's hear what you say right

00:14:16.500 i get what you're saying here's why i don't think that you know like adults like right it's so rare

00:14:22.320 but the point of it is is that in all that i think it's created this situation where people um

00:14:28.560 people have an issue just standing up for themselves or saying their point of view because

00:14:34.360 they see it as uh confrontational and here's the problem with that and uh when you're going to be

00:14:40.580 successful in life there's going to be times in your uh in other parts of your life where you're

00:14:46.040 going to have to stand up for yourself and you're going to have to disagree and there's value in that

00:14:50.200 like no company needs somebody who just says yes to everything and is a meek little dude in the

00:14:55.360 corner who doesn't offer his ideas because he's too afraid like if you want to this this goes

00:15:00.800 beyond relationships this goes into your personal success at your job at your career uh and everything

00:15:06.880 that you do is your ability to have a conversation and be firm in your stance and sometimes you know

00:15:13.260 what you're not going to win that conversation sometimes you're going to be firm and there's

00:15:17.640 going to be somebody who overrules you and says you know what i don't like that i'm what we're going

00:15:21.660 to do it this way and you know what that's okay right that's the way it goes right you know

00:15:25.900 what i mean i i this is my company and i don't get my way every single time sometimes and i'm

00:15:31.120 smart enough to recognize this i say one thing four other people say the other thing and it's them

00:15:37.000 guys against me and i say you know what that's a pretty good idea we'll try that and if it doesn't

00:15:42.040 work we're gonna do it my way sometimes it's the opposite sometimes they say no guys i don't agree

00:15:46.300 we're gonna try my way if that doesn't work we'll do your way right yeah absolutely but being firm in

00:15:52.120 your beliefs is a skill it's a it's something you have to develop and you know people think that

00:15:57.040 like being confrontational being firm in what you say and having your own opinion is somehow mean

00:16:02.020 it's not fucking mean it's just the way it's the way shit is supposed to be well it's like what you

00:16:06.560 always say like dude 50 of the people are gonna like you 50 aren't right like you just have to keep

00:16:11.460 that in your head dude and that usually goes with every fucking opinion you're ever gonna have

00:16:15.880 yeah you know what i mean mark twain said don't ever explain yourself because your your

00:16:19.780 friends won't need it and your enemies won't believe it right and uh but you know i as you

00:16:23.600 were talking i was thinking one of the things i think people need to realize about the the people

00:16:27.480 who are easy to offend and who are easy to piss be pissed off is that usually they're two extremes

00:16:33.580 usually they're either insecure and so they're threatened when you assert yourself or they're

00:16:38.540 just arrogant they think they're right and they don't want to hear anything different and i think

00:16:42.360 if you begin to understand that it makes it easier to assert yourself because you realize the

00:16:46.400 problem's not with you the problem's with them they're they're just they're just deep down they're

00:16:50.840 scared of who they are not comfortable with who they are or their priorities are different from

00:16:55.120 your priorities yeah and that's that's perfectly okay i've always found that the way to quote unquote

00:17:00.040 break up with somebody in your life who's being negative and not believing in your shit is just to say

00:17:05.480 hey there's nothing wrong with the way they believe that's the life they choose i choose this this is

00:17:11.040 what my thing is and i don't have any ill feeling towards them i'm just not going to talk to

00:17:15.220 them anymore about whatever it is i've got going on i'm just going to do my own thing over here

00:17:19.880 and let them do their own thing over there and when they fucking when they put their little two

00:17:24.340 cents in their little digs i'm going to say hey look you know when you say that a it makes me not

00:17:29.320 want to ever come around you b i don't judge you for the way you want to live right this is the way

00:17:33.620 i choose to live but do you know why that works for you because two things that you talk about all

00:17:37.480 the time number one do the right thing so you have a clear conscience and number two you have core

00:17:42.400 values that you know your core values so it's okay for it it's you're able to basically say

00:17:47.820 all right i know i know that i'm not a prick and i know that i'm guided by certain values and because

00:17:53.600 my values are not consistent with their values and there's a clash i'm okay going my direction and

00:17:58.620 letting them go their direction you know i'm saying yeah i think that you know i think that's

00:18:02.360 something that's developed over time too right right but but that's that goes back to why you know

00:18:07.440 you've said both personally and professionally you've said this on the podcast a number of times

00:18:11.680 you got to know what your core values are you got to know what your stand for right if you don't

00:18:15.720 then when somebody when then you when you disagree with somebody maybe you won't have the clarity in

00:18:20.760 your mind to say well i'm just going to go my way and he's going to go his way right you know i'm

00:18:24.720 saying right and dude another thing to note too about what we're saying is like people use what i'm

00:18:29.100 saying here like hey cut everybody out that's negative as a way to like disengage from their

00:18:35.120 responsibilities you know what i'm saying like dude i get this all the time like i get people

00:18:39.280 who email me and they're like dude i heard you say cut everybody out that's negative when my fucking

00:18:44.300 wife's kids dragged me down blah blah blah dude have some fucking common sense by no means am i telling

00:18:51.140 you to fucking divorce your fucking wife and leave your fucking kids dumbass i'm telling you to figure

00:18:58.740 out how to fucking make it work and communicate on a level to where they understand and where you

00:19:04.100 understand what the fuck is going to happen all right so you know if you're one of these dumb

00:19:10.120 fucks that's going to email me and say i'm fucking tired of my wife and kids well you made that

00:19:15.220 decision and you made that commitment and you better fucking figure out how to make it work you

00:19:20.560 know what i mean sometimes it just doesn't work but some but what i'm talking about is a situation

00:19:25.260 where a guy is like just frustrated he's in an angry part of his life or he's down for a month or so

00:19:31.620 you know or whatever they're having a fight fuck you guys i'm fucking you hold me back no

00:19:36.400 dumb fuck that's not what i'm talking about i'm talking about the times where you have people that

00:19:42.200 you can realistically eliminate you know when it comes to your wife and your kids those are

00:19:46.340 responsibilities that you fucking created for yourself and you owe those responsibilities

00:19:51.700 your commitment right anytime you think that something you hear on this podcast gives you the

00:19:57.220 right to shirk your responsibilities you need to go back and listen again yeah because you're not

00:20:01.100 getting it no they're not right that's people who listen to one or two fucking seconds or 10

00:20:05.060 seconds and then they make a decision based on what they heard right so walk people through it man

00:20:09.140 i mean like what i know i know you say it's simple and i get it but you know sometimes people do need

00:20:14.340 some guidelines you know how would you go about particularly if it's people that you know that

00:20:19.280 you care about because i think i think there are people that you can genuinely care about that you

00:20:22.980 still realize that you need to get out of your life i'll tell you what i do i mean basically i just let

00:20:28.720 them drift away you know what i'm saying like i don't respond to every text uh i don't invite them

00:20:33.840 to fucking parties i have um i don't answer their phone calls and you know i i might like their shit

00:20:41.060 on instagram but i sort of just let them drift out of my life you know i stay busy with what i'm doing

00:20:45.220 i'm focused on what i'm doing i'm not available and i'm not available really much anyway um but in time

00:20:51.260 dude they just drift away and there's no hard feelings it's people evolve people grow relationships

00:20:55.340 change friendships change and uh you know i think most people realize that you know the one thing

00:21:00.060 you're going to get from situations like that is you get people who are like oh andy thinks he's too

00:21:03.800 good for us now well i mean yeah i do yeah it's honest you know what i'm saying yeah so what they can

00:21:11.720 say that i'm not offended by it i do i actually do think that you know what i mean i just didn't want

00:21:16.500 to hurt your feelings by saying that so you know that's that's one of the biggest things that that uh

00:21:21.060 and that's as much a reflection on their choices as yours yeah they're choosing to be on a certain

00:21:25.320 level that you don't want to be at right exactly yeah yeah so um i mean so i would say like dude if

00:21:31.200 you can avoid them and if you could just let it drift that's the easiest way to do it man you think

00:21:35.240 most people just get the hint oh yeah don't you yeah i think so yeah i think so occasionally you

00:21:40.120 have somebody who's yeah you'll get people you know and sometimes dude you let people drift on

00:21:44.640 accident sometimes you let good people drift out of your life on accident and those people will

00:21:48.720 those people usually hit you up and be like hey what the fuck man i'm trying to hang out with you

00:21:53.960 i'm trying to spend time fucking still be friends with you those are usually the people who align

00:21:58.920 with you you know i'm saying uh so you know i've never i've never not or i've never deliberately cut

00:22:06.260 somebody out of my life though and regretted it no fuck no dude always been better yeah no normally

00:22:11.360 if it gets to that point you know now you know i mean i've done it a lot i'm sure you've done it

00:22:15.120 way more than me but it gets easier and easier every time because you know it's the right decision

00:22:18.780 yeah right and yeah exactly the first time you do it you have like this moral dilemma like god i'm

00:22:22.860 being such a dick but like the reality of it is you're not being a dick man you're protecting your

00:22:27.760 own interests you know what i mean you're protecting your own energy and there's nothing wrong with that

00:22:31.280 and maybe it makes them better in the end it absolutely does because a it makes them happier

00:22:35.260 because they're not next like dude you have to realize that all the negativity you get from other

00:22:39.380 people all the frustration you get from other people is a reflection of how you're making them feel

00:22:43.460 about themselves so when you fucking move your way you're out of that circle no longer are they

00:22:48.820 being like threatened or pissed off or mad or angry or frustrated by being so close to you when you're

00:22:54.560 doing the things that you want to do you see what i'm saying because they'll have a lot of feelings

00:22:59.340 like oh maybe i'm not good enough no it's not that you're not good enough it's that your natures of

00:23:04.980 being a human and and priorities are different than mine and mine produce different results than yours

00:23:11.520 produce and so that's normal and that's okay and there's nothing wrong with that but people naturally

00:23:17.580 think there's something wrong with that because we live in this materialistic society and you know

00:23:23.340 people this really has to do a lot with materialism as they look at your house and look at your car

00:23:28.180 they you know and they get upset when you're not doing anything but living your life you know

00:23:33.080 what i mean so you're you are doing them a favor by taking that that perceived negativity out of

00:23:38.180 their life there's another way you're doing them a favor and that's you know sometimes there are

00:23:42.220 people that are just going to be slackers their whole life nothing's going to change that but some

00:23:45.580 people if if they get a wake-up call they do change and so in a way if you just detach yourself from

00:23:52.400 them that could be their wake-up call right that could be them saying oh man i'm i'm a loser well

00:23:57.320 i'm losing friends because i'm a loser right you know and dude i've had that happen to me before

00:24:01.140 actually i had an old friend call me this morning and leave me a voicemail i still haven't called him back

00:24:04.840 yet but i'm going to but uh you know he left me a fucking three minute voicemail apologizing for

00:24:11.040 some shit he did like three years ago and i haven't talked to him since and i you know a i respected

00:24:16.820 that b i will i i you know i do think that me separating from him probably caused him reevaluate

00:24:22.660 some shit because it sounded like that in his voicemail and the point of um of the next the next

00:24:28.700 point i think like to help these situations is to have a talk with somebody you know meet them in

00:24:33.960 person you know don't text out this big long mean text or you know call and leave them this ignorant

00:24:39.040 voicemail saying oh fuck you i'm done with you dude have a fucking meeting with them you know what

00:24:43.780 i mean some there's there's multiple situations where this could happen you know you meet somebody

00:24:48.880 and you just tell them you say look bro i'm not trying to be a dick but i'm working like i'm working

00:24:55.380 here i'm trying to do this my goals are this this and this you're you're you don't have these goals

00:25:00.360 and you're constantly saying these things and putting these little digs in and putting negativity

00:25:06.400 and i don't have energy for that man so like if that's the way you're going to be i the relationship

00:25:12.100 you know i i don't want to sound like i'm breaking up with you but like i'm breaking up with you right

00:25:17.340 you know what i'm saying like and sometimes you have to break up with your fucking friends and you

00:25:21.440 have to like let them know and by having a real conversation meeting them in person sometimes that can be a

00:25:27.060 wake-up call because but most of the time it won't be don't expect that to use the to use the business

00:25:32.340 analogy though i mean i think you've said on this podcast that some of your best employees are people

00:25:37.480 that at one point you fired yeah you know a few of them yeah yeah and so and so that's if you have

00:25:42.880 to fire people to wake them up and then rehire them later and they're great they're they learn

00:25:47.300 their lesson yeah but you have to let them know what the deal is and like dude it's not about you know

00:25:52.160 it's not about attacking them i think that's like important to note you know it's not about like

00:25:56.020 glorifying what they lack it's it's more about just explaining what your priorities are and what

00:26:01.740 you want and what path you're on and that's the way to have a conversation without it blowing up

00:26:06.500 into an argument you know you see when you accuse people and you say like you you you you did this

00:26:11.420 you did that you did this you do that you're like this that starts arguments you know that's a

00:26:16.160 that's a thing where people are naturally going to be defensive if you say hey look man

00:26:20.200 i know we've been friends for a long time slash i know you've worked here for a long time

00:26:26.460 but here's the deal my path is this this is what i'm doing i'm i'm dedicated this path i'm i'm

00:26:33.860 obsessed with this path i'm going to go on this path and i understand that you don't really believe

00:26:37.560 that's the way it should be and that's the reason why i don't think it's a good idea that we hang out

00:26:42.480 anymore or that's the reason why i don't think it's a good idea that you're here in the company anymore

00:26:46.140 it's all about having a straight up conversation and i think you'd be happier you know doing other

00:26:52.400 things and hanging around other people because all i'm doing is irritating you by going and just doing

00:26:56.500 my own thing you see what i'm saying i love that you said uh that it's not attacking and i think

00:27:01.760 people need to understand there's a huge difference between attacking someone and confronting someone

00:27:06.080 and you know as well as i do and what's kind of crazy is even strong personalities have a hard time

00:27:12.080 confronting people it's kind of crazy but the people who are really successful understand that

00:27:16.140 that is just something you have to do sometimes there's no getting around it i don't mind it

00:27:20.540 personally yeah we and i think i think you've gotten but i just learned how to do it well yeah but i just

00:27:26.240 know that when you confront someone you if they don't understand the context that you're you're

00:27:31.140 trying to help them improve as well by confronting them then that's their problem if they're going to

00:27:35.840 get upset and they're going to go home and they're going to cry and they're going to say fuck you

00:27:38.760 dandy that's them like i've learned to detach myself from people's reactions you know like

00:27:43.980 people's reactions i really don't care about right like i that's not my problem my my problems

00:27:48.920 are my problems and if you're influencing whatever my problems are then you are my problem

00:27:55.200 right and that's that's a mature take on that because most people most people do something based

00:28:01.260 on how somebody's going to respond or they don't do something based on how somebody's going

00:28:04.980 to respond and they're miserable rather right rather than doing something based on whether it's the

00:28:08.500 right thing right yeah um lost my train of thought but no no i mean we're talking about

00:28:13.840 confrontation yeah so like you know to me i mean i've been doing it so long i've had to fire so

00:28:19.180 many people and had hard conversations so many people now i don't even delay like i don't even

00:28:23.280 fucking delay it like soon as i'm starting to feel it i just go right up and say it and tyler knows

00:28:28.340 this i mean that's how i do it here like when somebody has is doing something dumb i just go right

00:28:32.400 up to him and say hey what the fuck are you doing why are you doing this this is stupid you need to be

00:28:36.640 doing this this and this and they either listen or they don't and if they don't you know in the

00:28:41.360 company wise then they're probably gonna have consequences and friendship wise uh you know

00:28:46.260 usually i mean at this point in time as old as i am my friends are pretty rock solid so i have issues

00:28:51.220 like that but when i was younger i still didn't hesitate to go tell people right the image that

00:28:56.760 comes to my mind is like dude you're being a fucking asshole like what's wrong with me trying to be

00:29:00.500 successful what's wrong with me building a business what's wrong with me spending time doing this

00:29:03.620 sorry i don't want to go out and drink fucking beer all the time sorry right and this can also

00:29:07.600 be applied to your actual business as well like if you're in business with other people or your

00:29:11.940 vendors or whatever have you like you know let's say you've had a vendor for 10 years and they're

00:29:16.360 not willing to budge but you got two other people offering lower offers you just tell them yeah but i

00:29:22.700 think a lot of people are scared to do that hey tom look man i know we've been doing business for a

00:29:27.400 long time you've helped us a lot we've done a lot of good business together but here's the reality

00:29:32.180 i found these two vendors that do these two things and there's this much more that we can make what

00:29:40.480 can you do to help that situation on our end with so that we can maintain the relationship put it on

00:29:46.120 them you see what i'm saying and this isn't necessarily a negative thing but this is the

00:29:50.380 situation that you brought up so you put it on them right yes you say hey look hey steve you look

00:29:55.440 we've been working with you for 10 years i love you man you're fucking good dude i had you know this

00:30:00.940 this product priced out at this obviously that's a savings of x percent um i realize we have a lot

00:30:06.880 of history here but at the end of the day we've got to do what's best for the company and you have

00:30:11.460 to work with us or else we're going to have to go somewhere else so what do you think we could do

00:30:15.260 here to make that better and if they say nothing then then you know you can go do your other thing

00:30:20.140 if they usually those people will say andy dude i get it let me go see what i can do and you'll come

00:30:27.180 up with a resolution but really the reason the the people that the way that's mostly handled

00:30:31.960 is like people will fucking they will just switch the business you know what i'm saying and then say

00:30:39.620 fuck this dude of 10 years and burn some bridges and cause all this fucking bullshit and dude i can't

00:30:45.280 think of one person that i have a burnt bridge with you know what i mean like because that's what

00:30:49.680 being honest and being able to confront people directly produces it produces situations of respect

00:30:55.400 that's what people don't understand when they say being mean yes somebody might interpret it as

00:31:02.160 being mean at the moment but when they get down the road and they get home and it's a couple weeks

00:31:06.760 later or a month later or even sometimes years later they will they will have enough usually have

00:31:12.600 enough fucking self-awareness to be like man that dude told me the truth and i didn't fucking listen

00:31:18.120 you know what i mean and then they respect you for it they're like man that dude's a stand-up dude

00:31:22.740 right you know what i mean and that's important because nowadays more than ever just like we talked

00:31:27.680 about on thursday thunder your brand you are your product you are your brand you your integrity is on

00:31:32.980 the fucking line with everything that you do so standing behind your word and being honest and being

00:31:39.140 up front and telling people exactly the truth even if it hurts their feelings is important it it defines

00:31:45.240 your integrity as a fucking human not only as a human but as a businessman you know and so many

00:31:51.260 people have such a hard time with confrontation that they will tell half truths or quarter truths

00:31:57.120 or complete lies you know what i mean and that only damages their integrity it labels them as a liar

00:32:03.180 it labels them as somebody who's weak you know so dude being able to confront people and have hard

00:32:08.660 conversations is not only important for personal growth it's it's important for your career

00:32:13.000 absolutely you've you've used the analogy before i mean you've said like the reason that you're so

00:32:17.440 committed to competition for instance is because that's literally the way the universe works it's

00:32:22.380 the survival of the fittest this is to me this is another one of those examples of of taking it

00:32:26.780 from actual nature because in real life in the material universe if something is infected you

00:32:33.180 neutralize it otherwise it infects everything right something if you get gangrene in your in your toe

00:32:38.240 you better cut your toe off otherwise your whole body's going to be destroyed right and that's what that's

00:32:42.800 all i hear you saying is basically guys this is this is just the way the world works dude and this

00:32:46.520 is important as like for the business people out there listening to see the actual business owners

00:32:50.480 or managers to understand it's important it applies to culture as well because dude when you get one

00:32:55.400 fucking bad apple in your culture it can literally spoil the bunch you know you you you guys don't

00:33:00.420 understand you don't see what happens when you're not around i've been in business long enough to know

00:33:04.820 what happens you get one guy who's upset he's pissed off he's in a bad mood he feels like he's in a he's

00:33:11.920 been uh you know some he's the victim of something that you did he starts talking to his boy and gets

00:33:19.400 him convinced because everybody wants to feel like they're in a group right they want they don't want

00:33:23.360 to be like i'm the only one getting i'm the only one getting uh you know attacked here they'll be

00:33:27.840 like fuck dude you know andy yells at us all the time and he's mean and they'll tell the guy next to

00:33:32.920 him and the other guy will be like well yeah he does yell but and the other and then the original guy

00:33:36.620 be like yeah that ain't right and then all of a sudden you got two guys fucking pissed off right

00:33:41.560 and it's a mutiny right no but that's how it happens and so you know when you when you get

00:33:46.460 something like it's important as a ceo or manager or anything anytime you have a team of people to

00:33:51.860 to be in tune with who the fuck is what because one bad attitude can literally fuck your entire

00:33:57.540 company up for a long time dude i've had situations in the past dude i had a situation in 2012 where to

00:34:03.260 fire eight guys in one fucking day because of it eight people you know what i mean like dude i had

00:34:08.440 eight people i had to fucking i've had situations where i had three or four dudes quit at the same

00:34:13.080 time you know uh it taught me the lesson of trying to keep my thumb on the the temperature not only of

00:34:22.920 the culture but of the individuals in the culture and that comes down to having hard conversations

00:34:28.140 because usually those people have a decent argument as to why they're upset it's not that

00:34:33.020 they're totally on it's invalid but in the context of business certain things have to be certain

00:34:38.760 fucking ways for the business to operate and if you're a ceo that backs off of those things now

00:34:43.820 you're sacrificing your service integrity or product integrity or your customer experience integrity

00:34:49.660 because you're giving in to their their fucking unhappiness sometimes dude people make legitimate

00:34:55.700 gripes and you're gonna have to say hey look i understand that's how you feel but you have to

00:35:00.040 understand my position and why we do things this way and they will say well i can't do that that way

00:35:06.340 then and you're like okay well then it's time to part ways right you know what i mean what what

00:35:11.280 you're saying is exactly the reason back in the 1600s and 1700s in in like the english navy there were

00:35:17.060 lots of different disciplinary procedures but when somebody mutinied it was swift execution yeah it was

00:35:22.040 deal with them right away i mean that's like real harsh right well right but i mean there's just the

00:35:27.220 principle like dude that's like the old and a lot of ceos operate that way scare everybody into

00:35:32.220 conforming and and here's the problem with that when you scare everybody into conforming i'm not

00:35:37.940 saying you can't do it because you can but the problem is is you're not going to get passionate

00:35:43.340 amazing uh their best work all the time you're never going to get it you're going to get it at

00:35:49.060 a resentful level you know they're going to do the minimum because you scare them but dude when you

00:35:55.120 make them passionate you make them engaged and you listen to what they're saying and you you give

00:35:59.360 a voice and you understand like hey look bro i respect what you're saying and i value it but here's

00:36:05.120 why we have to do it and you can actually come to an agreement and everybody you know gets it and

00:36:10.760 you're polite and you fucking but you're firm now you have guys who are fucking respectful of you

00:36:16.160 and they're passionate about doing the work which produces by the way two three four times the amount

00:36:22.920 of sales that you will ever produce with people who are disgruntled right you know what i mean so

00:36:27.880 you can't treat people like the 1500s and be like i'll cut your fucking head off if you voice a concern

00:36:33.940 and a lot of people think i run shit that way i don't you know i mean dude have i have i done that

00:36:39.300 before absolutely i've made examples of people before because it was fucking called for but at the

00:36:43.740 end of the day my goal is to like dude let people have input you know how much shit i learned from my

00:36:48.180 employees through having those conversations a lot you know a hard conversation could produce a

00:36:53.360 really good outcome if you're open to listening and sometimes you're going to be wrong sometimes

00:36:58.380 you think this person is being negative and you find out that they actually have a better way of

00:37:02.620 doing it and that's why they want to do it because they fucking care and now we're in a situation that's

00:37:07.820 going to push the company forward so like you know you have to be open-minded to get feedback and have

00:37:12.400 tough conversations you know so let me highlight and backtrack something you said because you when

00:37:18.900 you were talking i know we're getting off track of cutting negative people out well not really i

00:37:22.460 think we're providing value not really because i think what i'm hearing you say is just you know

00:37:25.880 yes with the people who are giving genuine feedback and there's a line there's a line right you have to

00:37:31.020 be decisive with the people who are just that's right you have to be aware enough and and and smart

00:37:36.360 enough and perceptive enough to understand the difference between legitimate feedback and fucking

00:37:42.220 whining right or negativity right and there is a fine line there because dude some people express

00:37:48.400 genuine feedback in a negative way and it and you perceive it as negative when in reality the reason

00:37:54.280 they're pissed is because they want the best for you and they think they got a better way

00:37:59.340 yeah you see what i'm saying yeah so there's a fine line identifying negative or or somebody who's

00:38:07.720 actually trying to help you okay but this is a good point to tease out and before i backtrack

00:38:12.200 i want because we talked about this before this is a good time to interject the difference between

00:38:17.600 people who are giving you legitimate criticism and people who are just haters so some some guiding

00:38:23.720 principles well like i just said you know are they giving legitimate feedback are they offering

00:38:29.240 things that you could improve on do you have an open mind and able to look at yourself at your

00:38:34.640 product at the way you do things and say you know what that person is telling me the truth we are doing

00:38:39.640 that's a little bit wrong and we could be better that's that's constructive criticism being a hater

00:38:44.720 is like slicing your tires and just saying fuck you andy i hope you fucking fail you're a piece of

00:38:50.080 shit right you know what i mean personal and dude because like there's been a lot of people like i was

00:38:54.640 thinking about this this morning you know when i was when i was uh you know a two a year and a half ago

00:39:01.540 when i was 330 pounds i had people on the internet be like andy you're fucking fat and you know what i used

00:39:07.420 to get pissed and i'd be like dude that's a fucking hater you know that wasn't a hater that was

00:39:11.480 somebody just telling me the truth right i was fucking fat i was out of shape and you know what

00:39:16.220 those people fucking got me to the point where i took action because i was fucking tired of hearing

00:39:22.220 it and you know what i was defensive because of the way they presented it you know i would have

00:39:26.860 definitely been more receptive if someone said hey bro look you know i love you but you're getting a

00:39:32.580 little fucking chubby you know it's probably time to do something about that i don't think you

00:39:35.640 understand that you're you're looking unhealthy you don't look good and uh you know i respect the

00:39:40.160 shit out of you but i just want to be honest with you so that you you can do something about it

00:39:45.040 because because i didn't realize i was fat you just don't see it on yourself right you know the way

00:39:50.260 other people see you're with yourself all the time and um you know and i had a lot of people who

00:39:55.780 probably were haters right but even haters can offer real feedback like hey you're a fucking fat ass

00:40:01.800 you know what you're right i was fucking fat you know what i'm saying yeah and like dude i was

00:40:06.740 thinking about it this morning because i was looking in the mirror i'm getting in pretty good

00:40:09.100 fucking shape now and uh and i was thinking about all the people who said that and i'm like man i wish

00:40:15.160 i knew their fucking addresses so i could write them a fucking thank you card you know what i'm saying

00:40:18.480 so you got to be able to draw you've got to be open enough to accept the truth wherever it presents

00:40:24.580 itself i think that's the bottom line you know sometimes um you're gonna get your feelings hurt and

00:40:30.220 you're gonna be like dude you're just fucking hating on me i don't know are they like do they

00:40:34.560 have a real point are they making a real point because a lot of times they are you know what i

00:40:39.940 mean yeah i think it's a good question dude like what if someone fucking is hating on you but it

00:40:46.020 exposes a chink in your armor that you truly know is there and it gives you the opportunity to fix it

00:40:50.940 that's still constructive criticism now some people are ridiculous and they give you fucking hate

00:40:55.260 and they're just haters right but the reality is is there's a little truth to everything usually

00:40:59.800 there is i think a good exercise for anybody is just to always say okay don't ask does this offend

00:41:06.180 me don't ask does this make me feel bad say is it true exactly because usually the reason that you

00:41:11.960 get offended by what people say is because there's fucking truth to it right you know what i mean you're

00:41:16.800 not getting mad at somebody if they call you fat if you're fucking great shape you're gonna laugh

00:41:21.100 right right you're not getting mad at somebody if they call you a fucking scammer if you're not scamming

00:41:27.260 people you're gonna laugh right you know like i've been called those things on the internet and

00:41:32.640 and you know what you know why i got mad whenever people call me fat because i knew it was fucking

00:41:37.120 true you know why i don't give a fuck if people call me a scammer because i know it's bullshit 100%

00:41:43.540 yep you see what i'm saying yeah absolutely so i do want to i so i noticed when you were talking

00:41:49.120 earlier that you said like if you're mad like if you hear something from someone and it makes you angry

00:41:53.460 it's probably somewhat true yeah you're insecure about right exactly so i noticed you said don't

00:42:00.320 attack and the other thing you said i noticed that you said was you said like well this is just

00:42:04.940 what i'm doing this is where i'm going so all kidding aside what it sounds like to me is you're

00:42:10.620 basically telling people to say to the person they're cutting loose hey it's not you it's me

00:42:16.280 well it is you know just kind of that classic breakup scenario dude here's how you break like

00:42:21.900 people always ask how do you break up with someone here's you motherfuckers out there you want to

00:42:25.500 break up with your chick or your dude you don't know how i'm gonna tell you how right now and this

00:42:29.180 is the same way you have that conversation look because everybody's dude dude you've dealt with

00:42:35.940 people who are marrying all this shit right absolutely they dude you know why all divorces ends up so

00:42:41.540 fucking nasty and why all fucking breakups are so mean and why everybody hates each other

00:42:45.780 is because they look at it like this it's your fucking fault as opposed to just saying how about

00:42:51.700 this hey look we've had some great times together i really like you you know i love you i care about

00:42:59.200 you but the reality of the situation is i have these these goals in mind for myself um this is what i'm

00:43:05.420 into this is what i like this is the kind of shit that i like to do you don't like those things um

00:43:11.120 we you like to do this and this and this and i understand that you like those things they're

00:43:15.940 not what i like and that that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you and it doesn't mean there's

00:43:19.840 something wrong with me it means that our natures are incompatible and and that's okay and you know

00:43:27.120 i want to have this conversation with you because i don't want us to end up hating each other i don't

00:43:30.900 want us to be mean to each other i don't want us to like avoid seeing each other or talk shit about

00:43:35.980 each other i want us to go our separate ways and be cool and just understand that like hey we had some

00:43:40.760 good times we both grew as people and it's time to you know it's time to go a different direction

00:43:46.320 and turn a page in a book you know what i mean and um just because you're the chapter three and i'm

00:43:53.040 moving on to chapter four and i'm in your chapter three and you're moving on to chapter four doesn't

00:43:57.180 mean chapter three is fucking bad and dude when you can have a conversation like that with somebody

00:44:02.600 for real there is no ill feelings when you break up there's no fucking anger there's no madness

00:44:08.300 and a lot of people are listening right now oh well she cheated on me well you know what she

00:44:13.180 probably cheated on you because of what i'm talking about their nature you probably grew the nature's

00:44:18.720 happened you know there's no point in you hanging on to that and you just let it go because all it

00:44:24.320 does is fuck with you and it fucks with you on how you're going to react now how you're going to feel

00:44:29.000 now and how you're going to feel about every relationship from now so you just have to understand and chalk

00:44:33.920 it up to like hey you know what and i think if people honest with themselves they'll know like

00:44:40.380 hey you know what things weren't good for a while i wasn't happy for a while you know yeah there's a

00:44:46.160 jealous part of me that doesn't want the other person to go out and be with anybody else but that's

00:44:50.260 normal and we all get over that but but the good part is now i get a fresh start i get to go be happy

00:44:56.200 i get to find the people who like to go to uh the the park and have picnics and uh go on fucking

00:45:02.400 boat rides and hold hands and do all the lovey shit and he gets to go out and grow his fucking

00:45:06.860 business and work hard and do the shit that he wants to do and you know we're both going to be

00:45:11.820 happier right what that's how it should be yeah absolutely dude you know i mean it's amazing how

00:45:17.460 commonsensical that is i know but people can't do it because they get too emotional and they blame

00:45:21.940 the other person it comes down to taking responsibility for your part yeah that person might be an

00:45:26.600 asshole yeah that person might be a dick yeah they might have been treating you bad but the reason

00:45:30.640 they're treating you bad and the way all this shit happens and i'm not saying it's right but it's

00:45:34.640 because you guys have grown apart and the natures are different and having that discussion with a

00:45:38.720 person on a personal relationship or uh uh a business relationship or whatever is all the same it's

00:45:45.800 always the same you know when i have to fire somebody i you know if they started stealing or if

00:45:52.260 they start which never happens here but let's just say they did let's say worse because people are

00:45:55.960 going to say well what if they stole all right let's say they fucking stole well the reason they stole

00:46:00.280 is because they felt like they were getting fucked over the reason they felt like they were getting

00:46:03.660 fucked over is because something that wasn't right we weren't seeing things the right way

00:46:06.580 so yeah uh you're fired bro but i don't hate you like i hope you realize what you did was wrong

00:46:13.680 but our our priorities are clearly not on the same fucking path and it's time for you to go do

00:46:19.580 something that's going to make you happier you see what i'm saying absolutely like dude makes total

00:46:24.140 sense yeah and people don't people aren't dull enough to have those conversations dude look at the rock

00:46:28.620 man he's a really cool example of of and this is a personal relationship not uh not a uh business

00:46:34.980 relationship but dude it's funny because the rock and his first wife danny were married from college

00:46:41.260 and she ran all his business and uh you know he became successful and all this shit right and they

00:46:49.360 decided to get divorced well usually in those situations where there's all kinds of fucking money

00:46:53.120 involved in this and that what happens there's big fucking fights and tabloids it's this it's that

00:46:59.100 no dude um they fucking separated went i'm sure they had a conversation just like i fucking had

00:47:06.020 they they separated they're great fucking friends she still runs all his business for him

00:47:11.400 and he and she is married to his personal trainer okay and his personal trainer's old wife is married

00:47:19.440 the rock so they switched but you know what they seem to be really fucking happy right and as weird

00:47:26.600 as that is people are rolling their eyes right now as weird as that is you can't execute something like

00:47:30.780 that without having a real adult conversation you know what i mean and dude you see you see how well

00:47:36.340 they get to all get along like it's it's okay yeah you know what i mean like people just don't think

00:47:43.180 of it like that they get so fucking engulfed in like the emotions that they blame people and like

00:47:49.340 it causes unnecessary drama and hate and anger and fucking money expense right oh i hate you

00:47:56.360 because we're breaking up or i hate you because you didn't listen to me at the job well now you

00:48:00.160 quit and it just cost you a hundred thousand dollar a year job you know what i mean because

00:48:04.180 you were angry at one for one fucking day you know what i mean yeah so let me uh flip this on

00:48:09.560 its head and throw this out there for you because i'd love to hear what you have to say to this so

00:48:12.900 when i was a pastor one of the things that would happen sometimes is i'd be talking to somebody who

00:48:16.660 you know had to end in a relationship and usually it wasn't a marriage usually it was just a you know

00:48:20.800 and people would talk as if they were being compassionate like oh they're gonna be so

00:48:25.920 disappointed they're gonna be so it's they're just gonna fall apart arrogant yes that's the flip

00:48:30.700 side of it that's exactly what i was gonna say is that people have to have a gut check yeah people

00:48:35.480 have to have a gut check and realize that you're you know what this person's gonna be fine without you

00:48:39.420 well dude i think you know what's funny is like when you have to have those hard conversations

00:48:42.800 usually the other person knows it's fucking coming anyway yeah because people are perceptive

00:48:46.580 and they're in tune with your energy and they're in tune with you know what they're getting back

00:48:50.240 no nobody that i ever broke up with or fired or anything ever fucking didn't suspect it was coming

00:48:56.280 they know it's coming right you know any friend that i don't hang out with anymore you know usually

00:49:01.880 what happens and dude i've had this happen without even having a conversation with them like hey you

00:49:06.620 know you're being a piece of shit to me we're not gonna be friends i've just let them go and they've

00:49:10.640 come back to me years later and be like you know what dude i wasn't very supportive or understanding

00:49:14.020 about what you were trying to do and i was a bad friend you know what i mean and like dude that

00:49:18.860 just that just indicates that like dude they've done some personal growth and you know what you

00:49:23.080 can open that book back up to them again you know what i mean and let them back in because they

00:49:27.080 understand that they fucked up and it creates opportunity for you to have a better relationship because now

00:49:33.780 you know you might have went on five years ago when this this this uh breakup happened with your

00:49:39.040 friend or your name or your mom or whoever um you might have gone one direction and that person

00:49:46.800 went another direction they realized that it was not the right one for them and then they they they

00:49:50.620 switch fucking you know their compass around and they end up going back towards where you are and

00:49:55.140 they're like hey bro i i get it you know what i mean like i get it i i'm my my shit was fucked up i

00:50:00.780 wasn't a good friend i didn't say the right things to you and i'm sorry and dude you know what i have

00:50:05.140 friends that that's happened to that now i'm really good friends with again that i lost touch

00:50:09.420 with for years because i didn't want to be around them you know what i mean uh employees do that too

00:50:14.040 sometimes you fire somebody like dude i've had a number of guys that we've had to let go or have

00:50:18.220 left the company that have come back to me later and be like bro i'm sorry for what i did and this

00:50:23.720 and that and i just want to let you know like you know i get it i get you know and you know what i

00:50:28.900 respect the fuck out of that yeah you know i'm not gonna hire them back probably right but

00:50:32.600 there's situate i have hired people back you know there's i'm actually physically looking at two

00:50:37.480 guys right now that i had to fire that i hired back kevin's right out there behind you in the

00:50:42.340 warehouse yeah i was like i haven't been fired yeah and here's tyler you're right yeah a lot of

00:50:47.980 people don't realize tyler got fired and fucking i hired him back yeah you know and now now when i

00:50:53.580 fired him he was making fucking seven dollars an hour now he's making six figures doing fucking

00:50:57.600 awesome work because he understood like hey i fucked up you know what i mean right right so

00:51:04.360 that i mean that takes humility on both your part and his part because it's you humility on the sense

00:51:09.540 of you giving him a chance but there's also a certain humility of the person who was the offender

00:51:14.100 in saying because because if you're really prideful you're really egotistical you might just want to

00:51:18.800 say i don't want to mess with that guy again i just want to move on but to actually come back you

00:51:22.940 know what i'm saying hey vaughn and there's a time for that yeah there is a time where you just say

00:51:27.460 fuck that dude and i'm fucking done with that guy and it doesn't matter what there's a few people on

00:51:32.020 my list like that right i ain't gonna lie and they've apologized to me and i'm still like fuck

00:51:35.940 that guy so i mean well but i'm talking about the opposite because tyler could have just tucked his

00:51:40.880 tail between his legs and just never shown his face around here again but the fact that he's working

00:51:44.940 here again oh meant that he was willing to put himself out there you know what i'm saying well yeah

00:51:48.760 yeah i mean dude tyler tyler admits when he's wrong sometimes sometimes when you're wrong right

00:51:56.380 yeah when i'm wrong which is never so but you know i mean dude people admit when they're wrong

00:52:02.420 and like dude that comes down to the whole thing like it's having adult communication it's like

00:52:06.900 saying dude remember we got that big argument about summer smash and like dude him and i got this huge

00:52:11.280 argument about some shit and you know what some of the shit i was right on that i was saying to him

00:52:16.560 and somebody was not right because i didn't understand what he was trying to do and so there

00:52:19.940 was a compromise made oh hey bro you know what i'm sorry i fucking you know this is me hey bro i'm

00:52:25.800 sorry i fucking flipped out on you i didn't understand you were doing this and this and this and he's like

00:52:29.760 well you know what i should have communicated that to you so that you didn't flip out and we were able

00:52:33.800 to fucking resolve it and that's being a fucking adult you know what i mean and dude for two days him

00:52:38.540 and i were both like fuck you man i mean this went on for a couple weeks where we didn't even talk

00:52:42.560 because we're both pissed i didn't even feel like talking to anybody right we're both pissed off

00:52:46.440 about it you know what i mean and like but but you know gather your fucking you know pride up and

00:52:51.940 have a conversation and see what happens you know it's the easiest way to let it go because when you

00:52:57.080 let that shit eat you dude it like we always say you only have so much energy in a day when you let

00:53:03.000 that shit eat you up it takes that energy that you could be using on productive things and fucking

00:53:06.800 just waste it you know what i mean right well on that note too i think it's again important to

00:53:12.220 re-emphasize to people you you could have this conversation you could execute everything as

00:53:17.240 compassionately and decisively as possible and it's still going to be messy there's probably going

00:53:24.220 to be people who still get ticked off and that doesn't mean that they didn't do it right that

00:53:27.620 doesn't mean that you didn't do it right and i think that's important for people to know that

00:53:31.820 whenever you're dealing with cutting somebody loose you could do everything right in how you sit

00:53:35.440 them down and they'd still be angry and they'd still be angry right and you know what you have to

00:53:38.840 you have to take responsibility for your own actions and you have to let them take responsibility

00:53:43.820 for their actions you know what i mean like we talked about a minute ago you have to be able to

00:53:48.220 let them have their reaction and whatever it is and just say well that's them that's not me i did what

00:53:54.240 i knew was right i did what i had to do and if they're going to react that way then that's how

00:53:59.040 they're going to react but you can't let that bother you you can't let that prevent you from making a

00:54:03.540 decision so what would you do i actually think that it fucking holds most people back in business

00:54:07.680 in their career because they're afraid to make those hard decisions and they agonize over them

00:54:13.420 and they don't make them quick enough and then it fucking causes more problems yeah you know so what

00:54:17.920 would you do in a situation where you sat somebody down and just said hey man i'm i mean in so many

00:54:23.440 worlds or less i'm cutting you out of my life because you're dead weight and their response was

00:54:29.660 immediate they're like oh gosh you're right i am would you put them on probation yeah or would

00:54:36.120 you proceed with caution okay you proceed because it's easy to say it's easy to say yeah you're right

00:54:41.940 i'm i'm doing this and this and this would you would you still take a little step away from them

00:54:45.540 for sure okay for sure it's easy for people to say what they ever whatever they need to on the on

00:54:52.220 the fucking spot right you know what i mean right it's hard for them to switch actions in the course

00:54:57.620 of a conversation especially those types of people that you're trying to cut out right exactly right

00:55:01.000 they've been doing shit for years the same way right definitely guys uh kind of off the subject

00:55:06.900 a little bit we are uh we are really trying to encourage we got a lot of new listeners in fact

00:55:11.780 our numbers are great they keep on going up but we're realizing that a lot of you have not heard

00:55:16.560 some of our real classic episodes from earlier uh in like the one through 70 the most important

00:55:23.180 episode that they everybody needs to listen to is the first one you know what i mean

00:55:27.240 people don't listen to that enough like i have all these people being like oh my god this is

00:55:30.920 the first podcast uh i can't believe that i can't believe that yeah and i'm like your story

00:55:36.120 yeah i'm like well i you know that's the story yeah you know what i mean you'll also see how much

00:55:42.740 we improved since episode one but uh well that one and and you know people sometimes ask like

00:55:48.300 you know we want to help spread the movement we want to spread the word about the mfceo project

00:55:52.320 do you guys have any recommendations about the ideal episode for like the entry point and you

00:55:57.860 definitely would say i think episode 107 yeah i think episode 107 and episode one i think those

00:56:04.520 two are the most powerful as far as like getting an idea of what this podcast is about um you know

00:56:11.960 episode 100 which was the review episode right that was a good one that was good um we have one

00:56:18.280 called a joint the mfceo movement yeah we think it was 100 yeah i think it is 100 yeah we kind of

00:56:24.100 just that's a good one for summarizing basically what the mission is you know um but i mean that's

00:56:28.480 the thing guys is this is a project it is a mission it is something that we do we do for free we do it

00:56:35.240 because we as a group here have been annoyed and frustrated and uh upset with the way society

00:56:44.520 teaches people one thing for 20 years and then sets them off in a world that doesn't operate under

00:56:52.400 those values and so what our goal here is to get people to see things for what they are become

00:56:57.480 realistic teach the real core values and principles of success not teach you some way to trickly you know

00:57:04.800 trade stocks or uh you know sell something or this or that we're teaching you the real shit that

00:57:12.540 entrepreneurs need to know to be successful the actual skills by someone who's actually done it

00:57:19.260 yes and the other thing is is we're teaching you the way to think even if you're not an entrepreneur

00:57:24.740 as an entrepreneur by making yourself the product and making yourself the the item of value so that you

00:57:31.320 can go out within a company thinking with the entrepreneurial mindset and earn more money okay we don't

00:57:38.580 sugarcoat things we're not going to tell you quote unquote the big secret we're going to tell you the

00:57:44.300 real shit and we do it for free um you know one thing i think worth mentioning to people is like

00:57:50.740 you know the upcoming entrepreneur academy that we're going to open um you know it's going to be

00:57:55.360 very limited enrollment it's going to be application everybody's got to fill out application i'm only

00:57:59.320 going to take a certain amount of people uh everybody will be hand selected and to get into

00:58:05.100 the the the the academy and i think you know we're going to expand upon the things that we talk about

00:58:11.620 in the podcast in super super micro detail so that you know exactly how to go out and make fucking money

00:58:19.780 how to go out and be successful how to go out and take your small business and grow it into a

00:58:25.340 fucking empire not how to trade penny stocks and not how to fucking uh you know sell info programs

00:58:32.220 to some somebody not how to you know trade forex we're talking about building a business for real

00:58:38.220 and this applies to fucking not only entrepreneurs but all you lawyers all you doctors all you

00:58:44.180 chiropractors who go to school to learn a specific skill and know and have no fucking clue how to

00:58:50.140 operate a business and there's no one out there teaching that for the way that we teach it and

00:58:56.060 there's no one out there teaching it for real and there sure as fuck is no one out there teaching it

00:59:00.080 that has actually built nine figure companies we're the only one so uh keep an eye out for that you know

00:59:07.740 like i said it's going to be handpicked it's limited availability um and we'll open up application

00:59:12.460 process in the very near future now can i say something real quick because we're on this issue of

00:59:17.920 of spreading the the word joining you know spreading the movement so with that being said

00:59:23.200 let's get those winners announced and then we'll come back and wrap up the podcast okay so we've got

00:59:27.760 five winners guys thanks to everybody for your reviews the first winner is uh drew's custom leather

00:59:35.440 you that's how he submitted so i don't know his real name uh but he's got kind of a cool thing going

00:59:40.880 on so that's the first one another guy is uh alexander hernandez which has got he's got a uh

00:59:46.400 company called bookie books cool cool so and then the medical mentors another guy that i don't know

00:59:53.740 his actual real name but looks like he's just killing it he's kind of an entrepreneur in the

00:59:57.660 health care space uh chris cuts who is uh developing like some uh some nutritional bars

01:00:04.140 cool like uh yeah so good stuff like that and then uh brett knight who is in the health care

01:00:10.560 or not health care but uh fitness industry okay cool is that cool yeah those are the five winners

01:00:15.440 guys i definitely uh am excited to talk to you guys and we'll get how do they get in touch to

01:00:20.300 schedule okay you're gonna email them yeah or dm or email them whichever one okay cool um

01:00:25.680 cool now let's get back on the podcast and just kind of wrap things up uh you know i've got like four

01:00:33.380 points i want to basically wrap up the idea of cutting negative people loose uh to help you guys have

01:00:40.120 these conversations and you know that could be firing an employee as well the bottom line guys

01:00:45.540 is this all right it might be messy all right it's not going to be fun hard conversations are never fun

01:00:51.680 to go to but you have to realize that you are doing the right thing and when you're a ceo of a company

01:00:57.920 you're doing the right thing for you you're doing the right thing for the company you're doing the

01:01:01.660 right thing for everybody else that is dedicated to moving the company forward and putting energy into it

01:01:06.760 and when you don't do those things you're cheating all those people in a personal relationship

01:01:10.820 instead of cheating all those people you're cheating yourself and you have to realize that

01:01:14.720 doing the right thing requires hard conversations all the time you know like i said a minute ago

01:01:20.240 it's not always this it's your fault it's sometimes it's just the fucking people have gone down

01:01:26.640 different paths and it's no longer compatible and there's nothing wrong with that um number two if

01:01:32.900 you feel bad about hurting people's feelings that that's okay it just means you're a decent person

01:01:38.520 it doesn't mean you're being mean but you have to understand that being firm is not equatable to

01:01:46.280 being mean okay and you being firm is a skill you being mean is a liability all right so be firm

01:01:55.780 be direct be factual and move forward you know don't hang up and let things fester and become

01:02:04.060 negative negative and become these bad situations because you can't have a hard conversation it's

01:02:10.380 not about the other people's feelings it's about you and it's okay to be about you all right number

01:02:15.540 three if it's something that needs to be done you got to do it fast all right the sooner you get it over

01:02:20.860 with the sooner the conflict is over the sooner the drama is over the sooner you can move

01:02:25.400 forward and move forward in a productive way and get these negative feelings out of your way all

01:02:30.820 right that's extremely important in business you know dude hire slow fire fast that's what i've

01:02:38.060 always fucking abided by all right you guys should do the same not only in your business but in your

01:02:44.460 personal life take a long time to let people in vet them properly and if they aren't what you think they

01:02:51.200 should be for you then part ways all right and number four you know and i want to remind uh you guys

01:03:00.140 one more time that there's a difference between cutting off negative people and dropping dead

01:03:06.120 relationships and failing to live up to your obligations these are the kind of emails i get after

01:03:10.700 these sort of podcast messages you know if you have a husband or a wife or some sort of family

01:03:15.800 obligation there's going to be sacrifice there's going to be compromise there's going to be

01:03:20.320 communication and you're going to have to fucking man up and and own those obligations you you can't

01:03:27.040 just say oh my wife doesn't believe me and my husband doesn't believe me and my kids are a

01:03:31.960 fucking drag on my energy motherfucker you're the one that had those kids it's your your life is really

01:03:37.680 no longer about you anymore it's about you helping them and one of the best things you can do to help

01:03:42.660 them by the way is become the the the peak of your potential on your own you know so that doesn't mean

01:03:48.840 that you're supposed to cut those relationships out or get rid of them i don't want to get any

01:03:52.420 fucking emails about that i don't want any dumbasses email me saying that if you're too dumb to understand

01:03:57.500 what i'm saying then you probably are too dumb to even listen to this podcast that's the bottom line

01:04:01.780 all right so don't use me as an excuse to to be a some douchebag who skirts his responsibilities

01:04:09.200 as a normal fucking human all right i get so sick of hearing that it's like i want to punch i don't

01:04:14.480 even respond when people say that by the way yeah i just let it go because it's just like there's no

01:04:19.300 talking to them they're fucking retarded no they're just twisting everything i say yeah so

01:04:23.540 anyhow that's that guys look negativity takes away from your ability to function properly whether in

01:04:29.840 a business place whether in your personal relationships and at the end of the day it's

01:04:34.540 okay to be selfish about your energy it's okay to be selfish about what you're trying to do and what

01:04:38.820 you're trying to produce and where you're trying to go and sometimes that's going to mean that you need

01:04:43.140 to remove obstacles and sometimes those obstacles come from people who are very close to you and

01:04:47.320 those conversations are hard to manage so if you have to have that conversation guys you know listen

01:04:52.660 back through the podcast pick up the tips you need to have you know take a deep breath and go fucking

01:04:57.180 have it because i promise you're going to feel better afterwards 100 all right guys look if you

01:05:02.380 enjoyed the podcast if you thought it was awesome if you got value out of it please leave a review

01:05:06.140 um and i you know like we said we do this for free and our fee that we ask of you is that you refer

01:05:11.580 one like-minded friend so if you could make a post or if you could tell somebody to listen

01:05:15.220 or if you could uh recommend the podcast very very much appreciated guys uh we're going to continue to

01:05:21.420 do the best we can here for you and i just want to say thank you guys for following it's that we

01:05:25.600 always love doing this and we're having an awesome time so thank you guys

01:05:28.380 you

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