Is It Better To Be Famous or Impactful？, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO231
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
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Summary
In this episode of the MFCEO Project, we talk about the differences between St. Louis and Hollywood, and why they are two completely different places on the planet. We also talk about how to deal with the fact that life isn t fair.
Transcript
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I can stack them hunts to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon. Without
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me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.
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What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am
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the motherfucking CEO. Today is Thursday. That means Thursday thunder. If you're new
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to the podcast, we do two a week. We do Tuesday, which is like a longer podcast. And then we
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do a Thursday, which is like karate chop your fucking throat podcast. So it's short. It's
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going to hit you right in the face or in the throat or in the wiener or somewhere where
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it's going to fucking hurt a whole lot. And that's what we do. All right. Now, what we ask
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in return is that you have a conversation with a friend about the podcast. What am I asking
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for? I'm asking for you. If you get value out of the podcast, if you learn something,
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if it helped you, if it got you going, I ask that you refer one friend per episode. Okay.
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I do this for free. I don't ask for money. I don't try to sell you a bunch of shit. I don't
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even run fucking ads when I could make seven figures a year running ads on this podcast.
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I don't because I don't want to pollute your fucking time with me with a bunch of bullshit
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garbage. All right. So all I ask is for you to refer a friend. Now, if you make a post
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for me, that's great. If you tag somebody in one of my posts, that's great. Tell them
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why. Tell them what it means to you. Ask, you know, make sure you tell a story with it
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or whatever it is, because dude, just tagging somebody in my post really doesn't do a fucking
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thing. All right. So I'm just asking for a little bit back. That's all. That's my fee.
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All right. No money. Just a little bit of sweat equity. By the way, this entire movement
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is based off of that. You know, uh, we've been consistently a top 10 business podcast,
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uh, consistently a top 50 podcast for three years now. Um, and it's because what we stand
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for on this podcast is a lot of what's wrong with society. We're trying to correct 20 years
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of failed cultural strategy, which is this life is fair. Everybody deserves to win. Everybody
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deserves anything. Everybody's special. Okay. Everybody gets a trophy. That's not fair.
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All right. Well, guess what? Life isn't fucking fair motherfucker. And you know what? You're
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going to have to fucking realize that first and foremost, before you go out and try to
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fucking do anything. We are about the truth. We are not idealist. We are realist. We are people
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who believe in the work. We are people who believe in producing a result, not talking about
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producing a result. We are people who believe in being part of the solution, not part of
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the fucking problem. People who want to be part of the problem can go listen to all the
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other motherfuckers podcasts. That's not this. If that's you, turn off your fucking shit right
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now. Cause this ain't for you. All right. Now, before I get into what I'm about to get into,
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I spent the last week in Hollywood. A lot of you guys don't realize that I have an office
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in Hollywood, my friend, Dan Fleischman. Um, we do a lot of our influencer and athlete
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content out of that office. I spend about, I don't know. It used to be a week every month
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in Hollywood. Uh, but now it's more like a week out of every six weeks out there. Um,
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and Hollywood is basically the polar opposite of St. Louis, Missouri. If St. Louis is black,
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Hollywood is white. Okay. If St. Louis is alpha, Hollywood is the fucking Omega. If St. Louis
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is the North pole, Hollywood is the fucking South pole. Okay. If St. Louis is fucking fire,
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Hollywood is fucking water. All right. Think about the two extremes that you could possibly
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imagine culture wise. Completely different things. Both cool. I'll enjoy both of them,
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but they're so fucking different. And one of the major differences between the two cultures is that
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St. Louis is a very, very salt of the earth. Uh, work hard, keep your head down. Don't,
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you don't need recognition. You just show up every day and you do your fucking best. And that's why
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when you see me wear a South County shirt, that's what that stands for. Okay. South County is the part
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of St. Louis that I'm from. And probably I would say, in my opinion, now I'm going to have all my
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other friends, small over St. Louis, get mad at me about this. The hardest working motherfuckers in
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St. Louis, South city, probably with them too. But anyway, we are the, these are blue collar folks,
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man. These are the people I came from. This is where I come from. This is what I'm about. And it's
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about who I am. And it's about working hard and producing a result. Okay. But in Hollywood,
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it's, it's a little bit different in Hollywood. They're more about, you know, recognition and
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more about being famous and more about being around people who are doing shit. And a lot of
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those people who want to be around people who are doing shit, aren't really doing shit. You know,
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we were standing around, uh, sitting around, uh, our podcast. Cause I record some podcasts out there
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in Hollywood. You guys don't realize that because they sound all the same, but sometimes I record
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these podcasts in Hollywood and, uh, Dan and I, Dan Fleischman and I were sitting around and we were
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talking about like out in Hollywood, you know, not everybody works. Everybody pretends to work.
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Everybody has a story about how they work. Everybody has a, has something to like tell you
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about what they're doing, but not everybody's legitimately doing those things. A lot of those
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people are just trying to be famous. And it got me thinking about a whole lot regarding our culture.
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And, and this is going to be the topic of our episode because it got me to think about a really
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interesting question. And, um, it's a question that I think that if you answer it truly and rightly
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and wholly, uh, it'll get you straight on what you're doing with your business, your brand, and
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really the rest of your fucking life too. If you answer this question correctly, you're going to have
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a sense of strength and purpose that other people dream about. It's the kind of strength and purpose
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other people look at and admire. All right. And it's because you're going to feel good about
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yourself. So here's the question. Do you want to be famous or do you want your life to leave an
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impact? Okay. And I want to tell you a story before I get into what I think about this. All right.
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A lot of you guys know that in, uh, when I was 23 years old, I was stabbed in the face. Um,
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I was stabbed three times in the face, one time in the back. And, uh, I had 160 stitches in my face.
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I have permanent nerve damage in my face. Um, and I almost died during the whole ordeal. Well,
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I'm going to fast forward. If you want to hear the whole story, you go listen to episode one.
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I tell the exact whole story, but, uh, after that, okay. And you have to, this is,
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you have to remember, I was 23 years old. Um, I was, I'm in the prime of what's supposed to be like,
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you know, you're having fun years. And I, I meet this guy and he does something to me and he stabs
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me in the face and fucks my face up to where like, dude, to this day, you know, if you meet me in
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person, the scars are very fucking noticeable. Um, and a lot of you will meet me and be like, Oh,
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I don't notice the scars that much bullshit. I know you fucking do. Okay. I'm used to it. You're
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not saving my feelings. It is what it is. But afterwards, um, you know, I'm, I go from being
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this like fun, you know, happy dude, uh, to a guy who's dealing with people all day in business.
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And those people would always come up to me and they would do one of two things. They would either,
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my face was swollen the size of a grapefruit. So, uh, they would do one of two things. They would
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either look at the floor or they would look you right in the face and go, dude, what the fuck
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happened to your face? Just like that. I can't tell you how many hundreds of times I heard that
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doesn't matter where you are. People just have no fucking like, I don't know what manners if you
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want to say it that way about approaching. They, I can't imagine what some people who have like
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disfigurements here from people it's, but what, what was even worse was people who looked at the
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fucking floor and wouldn't acknowledge you. That was even worse than that. But anyway, dude, I heard
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this for, for like two years, man. And, uh, you know, that doesn't make you feel very good. Uh,
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I got very depressed. Uh, I went through a very, very difficult time. Um, I withdrew. I was,
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I was drinking literally every day. I was smoking pot literally every day. Uh, I was dealing with
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major depression. Um, you know, severe suicidal thoughts to the point where like, it was like a
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daily struggle for me. And, uh, and I was, um, at the grocery store one day and I was going down an
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aisle and, uh, I was kind of looking at the ground cause that is, that was kind of where I was. I
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didn't really look at other people at this point. And I got to the end of the aisle and my cart, uh,
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like T-boned another cart. All right. And I looked up and there was this person standing there who had,
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uh, no fucking face. All right. And when I say no face, I mean, it was completely burned off. There
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was, there was no fucking face there. It was like, uh, two, two eye holes and a nose hole and a mouth.
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And, and, uh, and it turns out it was a woman, but she was wearing like one of those like Paddington
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bear bucket hats. And I looked at her and I was kind of like, like, holy shit. And that's what I
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thought in my head. And she goes, dude, what the fuck happened to your face? And like, dude, I busted
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up laughing. Cause I like, we both laugh. Like she was laughing too, because she knew that what I was
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going through and I knew that she had been through it. And obviously a lot worse than I was.
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And, uh, you know, we, we sat there and we talked and we had a laugh and, um, uh, I found out that
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she had been in a plane, a small airplane accident that killed her whole family. And she was the only
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survivor. Uh, she lost her leg. Her whole body was burned up. Um, and it was honestly one of the most
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impactful conversations I've had in my entire life because I left that, that store that day,
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literally my depression, like almost literally cured overnight. Like I'd stopped feeling sorry for
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myself. And I stopped looking at what I had and focusing on what, how bad it was for me. And, uh,
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and dude, it changed my life. And it was a 15, 10, 15 minute conversation. And, uh, if you ever hear me
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speak, I talk, I tell this story a lot in person. Um, and I guess like the main point, you know, I didn't
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even get her name. And the main point I'm trying to make here is she left a huge, huge impact on my
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life. And I can honestly say, I can honestly say that if I hadn't had that conversation, I don't
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think I would be alive. I really don't. I think I would have killed myself. Um, and that's the first
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time I've ever said that, but I mean it. Uh, and, and you know, here's the thing. And as a result of
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that conversation, every time you read one of my posts or download this podcast or see something,
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see me speak or do something, she's leaving an impact on you. Okay. Cause I wouldn't even fucking
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be here and I don't even know her name and you don't know her name. She's not famous, but do you
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think she cares that she's famous? Fuck? No, she doesn't care. I think, and I know from having that
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conversation that she was very satisfied and very comfortable with the person who she is, even
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though she was badly burned, even though, you know, she had had all these tragedies happen to you. I
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don't think she probably isn't even on social media and she could have zero followers until the day she
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dies and she won't give a fuck. And the reason she's not going to give a fuck is because she knows
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that she's lived an impactful life. I got that sense off of her just from talking to her. Like
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she knew what she was doing. She knew she was helping me. And somehow I don't God willing or
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whatever you want to say, or whatever you believe in the universe, God, I don't know. You don't know
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either, but whatever you believe in a higher power caused us to meet that day. And she somehow knew
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where I was. I know she knew where I was at the point of what I was going through. I could just,
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I can't explain to you how much I know that. Um, and I know that if someone knows that much,
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that they're comfortable living the life that they're living. And if the only person who knows
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it are her and God, she's cool with it. Okay. So let me ask you again, do you want to be famous
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or do you want to be impactful? Cause I am so fucking sick of everything in our culture
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being motivated by recognition. I am so sick of people thinking that their entire worth as a person
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is how many followers they have and how many comments they get and how many, uh, you know,
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collabs they do with other people. I'm sick of people feeling great about themselves. If they build
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their following and shitty about themselves, if they get unfollowed, like it's ridiculous.
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And I have a feeling that a lot of you are living in that fucking tornado right now. Okay. It's not
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even a tornado. It's a fucking drain. You know, that little drain at the bottom of the bathtub when
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you pull the fucking plug out the little whirlpool or whatever the fuck that is that used to stick
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GI Joe's in. That's what the fuck you're living in with this social media bullshit. Okay. And if that's
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you, then there's a great chance that your motives as a person are misaligned. You want to be
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famous, not impactful. And that means it's ultimately about you and not offering any value
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to anybody else in the world. And if that's the case, do you ever think you're going to feel
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satisfied? Do you ever think that you're going to be at peace with yourself? I can tell you for sure.
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The answer is no, because how can you be at peace with yourself? If you're a selfish shit bag
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that only cares about how other people recognize you, you can't be because here's the reality. If
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you are impactful, there's a chance you're going to become famous. But in my experience, the truly
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elite people don't even give a shit about that. The point for them is to be impactful. They don't
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give a fuck about how many social media followers or how many comments or how they're not posting to
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get a million fucking views. They're posting to help people or impact people in a certain way.
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Don't buy in to the, I want to be the next Kim Kardashian bullshit. Okay. You trying to be her,
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you trying to be that person, you, it's going to make people keep you down anyway, because they're
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going to look at you and they're going to say, Oh, you just want to be fucking famous. And they're not
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going to fucking support you. Okay. Just because you have some big titties and a nice ass and this
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and that, you know what? A million motherfuckers have that shit, not just you. So what makes you
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different? What's going to get you where you want to go? What matters? I can tell you right now,
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you people out there chasing this fame, chasing the next popularity contest, trying to sit at the
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cool motherfuckers table at lunch. When you're 30 years old, you people are doing it fucking wrong.
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We have an opportunity through social media. We have an opportunity through the network and the
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fucking technology that we have to make a tremendous impact on people. But only if you put yourself
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behind that cause, not putting yourself in front of that cause. It's time to get off the hamster
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wheel. It's time to switch up what your motives are. Fame for the sake of fame. It's bullshit.
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It's far more satisfying and far more effective to be impactful and to stand for something and to
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have a message that people respect. And by the way, I'm not shaming on girls with big tits and ass like,
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dude, fuck, you know, that's, if that's what you got and that's what you want to show,
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that's awesome. If it's worse for you, that's awesome. But I know so many people and I'm,
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and for guys, it's the same. If you have abs in your physique and that's what it is. But if that's
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all you got, if that's all you have and you don't have something that helps educate people or inspire
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people and impact people, you're going to feel fucking lonely. You're going to feel alone. You're
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going to feel like your life's not making a difference. And I bet a lot of you listening already feel that
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way. You're already starting to feel the shallowness. You're already starting to feel
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the emptiness. You're already starting to feel the insignificance. And the reason that you feel
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those things is because you're not putting others before yourself. It's a fucking drain. It's something
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that's going to suck you down and take you away because the truth is, is there's a next big thing.
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There's a next hot thing. And no matter how smart you think you are or how well you think you have
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the game figured out, nobody stays famous for, for the sake of being famous. You might have 15 minutes,
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you might have this, and some people have their 15 fucking minutes and hang on to it for a hundred
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years. And those are the most miserable fucking people on earth. You have to understand that your
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life satisfaction, your legacy, what you stand for is going to come from you putting others first.
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It's going to come from you seeking to be impactful, not seeking to get more likes or more comments.
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And by the way, this is tactical advice. This isn't just, oh, moral advice, me on my fucking soapbox.
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Let's say you're the most best looking dude or the best looking woman. We're becoming desensitized to
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those things as a society, because it's, we're, we're shoved in our faces all the time, all the
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content of all these beautiful people. So what is separating you? What is the thing that's going to
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help you grow and help you this? Well, here's the fucking thing, motherfucker. It's doing the right
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thing. Be the person who stands for something. Be the person with a message besides your looks. Be the
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person with someone who can impact people and help people and bring people up instead of just saying,
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hey, look at me. Hey, look at my body. Hey, look at the shit I got. That's how you should be using
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social. That's how you're going to become successful. And by the way, that's how you're going to become
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fulfilled, which is more important than anything, because guys, there is nothing, nothing worse
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than going your whole life and then being like, fuck, I did it wrong. Because that's the path some
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of you guys are on. You're getting caught in the whirlwind. You're getting caught in the drain
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and you can feel it. You're already feeling empty. You're already feeling lonely. You're all,
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yeah, you go to the party. Yeah, you go to this event. Yeah, you do that. But what is it?
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It's a bunch of motherfuckers just like you trying to be fucking famous.
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That's not impact. And it's not going to be fame either because you don't have anything unique to
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offer. Think about how you're going to impact people. Think about what you can offer. You have
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a story. You have skills. You have values that you can help other people learn or cultivate or use to
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live a better life. And when you do that, that's when you start to feel fulfilled. That's when you
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start to feel great about yourself. That's when the emptiness that you feel starts to go away.
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A lot of people ask me all the time, Andy, why do you spend so much time on your captions?
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Why do you spend so much time doing this podcast? You know why? Because it feels fucking good.
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I'm not making money off of this shit. I do it. Not because I get likes on my fucking Instagram or
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not because I get downloads on my podcast. Yeah, that's fucking cool, but that's not why I do it.
00:20:54.260
The reason I do it is because I see people changing. I get emails day by day by day about people changing
00:21:03.600
their lives, changing their income, changing the way their family works or the way their job worked or the
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career they're on or the business they're in. I get those testimonials unsolicited every fucking day.
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And that's why I do this because I know what I'm doing makes a fucking difference. And you know why
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I am confident and you know why I feel good about myself? It's because I know I'm giving more than I'm
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fucking taking and I know it. So if you're one of these people who's getting sucked in to society right now,
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you're developing and attributing your worth to likes and comments and shares.
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Okay. If you're one of these people who has to go to the next party or the next thing or the next thing
00:21:50.080
to constantly feel good, wake the fuck up and start realizing that you're, you're not treating the
00:21:59.260
cause you're treating the symptom. And if you want to treat the cause and you want to feel good and you
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want to live a great life that you're proud of and that you can look back and say, you know what?
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I did the fucking shit right versus fuck. I did it wrong. You got to start putting other people
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before you. You've got to start looking to make an impact. You've got to stop chasing fame for the
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sake of being fucking famous. And by the way, there's nothing wrong with being famous.
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You know what? People recognize me all over the place. I'm far from famous, but I get recognized.
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And you know what? That's cool. I like it. I'm not going to say I don't like it. It's cool,
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but I don't do it for that. I do it for the guy who writes me an email about, you know, how he was
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making, uh, $20,000 and couldn't pay his fucking bills. And now he's making a hundred. I do it for the
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guy who, uh, you know, was about to get divorced and upset with his situation at home, who was able
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to fix it. And now he's happy. I do it for shit like that. I don't do it because I want people to
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recognize me. And a lot of you guys say, Oh, Andy, you're so real. You know why I'm fucking real
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because I'm not chasing fucking fame and you fucking know it. You want to come across as real? You want
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to come across as authentic? Then be authentic and be real and put other people before you.
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And until you do that, you're not going to fucking see what you want to see. You're not going to feel
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the way you want to feel. You're not going to be fulfilled and you're going to be empty on the