REAL AF with Andy Frisella

00:00:00.000 what is up guys you're listening to the MF CEO project I'm Andy I'm your host and I am the

00:00:14.940 motherfucking CEO guys the goal of this podcast okay a lot of people get confused because they

00:00:21.420 think it's an entrepreneur podcast only and you have to own a business or be an entrepreneur

00:00:25.920 no you don't okay this is a personal development success entrepreneurship podcast a lot of the

00:00:33.900 things that we talk about on here are going to be applicable to other areas of life success in

00:00:39.660 anything is the same okay it's just applying the formula to different areas so while you listen to

00:00:45.760 the podcast and and you know while you refer the podcast to your friends and tell people about it

00:00:50.500 which I appreciate by the way don't let them think this is just for people that own their own

00:00:55.720 business it's not and it's not just a motivation podcast either it is a practical how to do how

00:01:02.540 to think how to be successful in any area of life podcast all right and guys I want to say I appreciate

00:01:10.660 you guys um referring your friends all right uh we're doing great everything's going good it's been

00:01:16.640 going good for the last two and a half years this will be our third year coming up and I just want

00:01:21.460 to say thank you for all your support because we don't advertise this podcast anywhere all we do is

00:01:26.180 ask that if you enjoy the content if you got something out of the content if it helps you

00:01:30.720 that you refer a friend uh and then take the time to review and take the time to subscribe to the podcast

00:01:36.060 all three of those things mean a lot to us because we pour a lot into this and we want more people to

00:01:41.100 know we want to bring more people into the movement and we want to accomplish more with what we're doing

00:01:45.860 and all of those things help us so guys for those of you doing that I really appreciate it for those

00:01:50.920 of you who haven't done that yet please do it and uh you know help us spread the information that we

00:01:57.220 need to spread now today now for you guys are new we do usually two podcasts a week a practical

00:02:03.040 podcast on Tuesday um more mindset slash motivation I hate using the word motivation because I feel like

00:02:10.400 it is overdone and I also feel like that people look to motivation as their end all be all when in

00:02:19.100 reality it's not motivation it's going to get you where you want to go it's discipline um you know I

00:02:24.920 happen to be blessed with uh you know a good delivery and a good skill for speaking and I know that's

00:02:31.060 motivational to a lot of people but please try to hear what I'm saying and let the message be absorbed

00:02:37.640 not just how I'm saying it okay um I don't want to be the next motivation guy I want to be the guy

00:02:44.000 that shows you how to fucking succeed and I want you guys to go out and use these tools to be

00:02:48.760 successful so usually today would be Thursday thunder but because it's Friday it is Friday fire now

00:02:55.060 sometimes because I own a real business and I'm not just a social media celebrity slash guru slash

00:03:02.120 that's all I do I actually run real companies uh the company that you might recognize would be

00:03:08.540 first form uh www.1stphorm we're the world's leading sports performance and health supplement

00:03:17.480 company um and I own a bunch of other companies too so I'm a fucking busy guy but that's neither here

00:03:25.480 nor there what is here is this guys so many of you and so many of us and I know this and I say us

00:03:38.620 because I've done this too and I had to evolve through this I'm going to piggyback sort of off

00:03:43.960 of what the last podcast was and if you listen to last podcast um you're going to recognize some of this

00:03:49.720 because it's going to build on it if you haven't listened to last podcast go go listen to it and you

00:03:55.440 know you'll understand why this adds to that but guys we talked a lot in the last podcast about

00:04:01.520 being able to teach yourself to tell the truth to other people the biggest thing holding you back

00:04:10.640 guys is this your inability to tell people the facts versus a watered down version of the facts

00:04:18.200 that makes them feel okay and I understand it doesn't feel good to hurt someone's feelings it doesn't

00:04:25.160 feel good to say something to someone that you know is going to uh you know bother them or upset them

00:04:31.340 but guys sometimes the truth just has to be fucking told okay your ability to tell the truth in a way

00:04:40.800 that also that helps the other person improve get better okay and also helps you unleash the inner

00:04:49.800 frustration that it's causing is a huge deal lots of people go through their life and they don't

00:04:56.380 tell anybody the truth because they have this weird thing that they're afraid it's going to like break

00:05:01.220 them okay you're going to say this one thing and their whole life is going to be destroyed no that's

00:05:05.840 not how it works but that fear of that is what keeps us from doing it and what happens then is that we

00:05:12.760 instead internalize that frustration and keep it from that person and this could be in a business

00:05:19.200 sense it could be in a relationship sense there's a lot of different ways that we could apply this

00:05:23.380 but in all of those ways when we buffer the truth and we don't say the truth and we let people get by

00:05:28.240 and we let them keep going down the path it hurts them because they don't learn what they're doing wrong

00:05:33.920 and they don't learn what they're doing uh what they need to do to be productive and it furthermore it

00:05:39.120 hurts you because it frustrates you it makes you angry it makes you bitter and it makes you resentful

00:05:44.780 towards that person and guys this is the mother of all relationship killers by the way but in business

00:05:50.560 and management and leadership it's a huge deal too and what it does come down to you guys is that

00:05:56.660 not only can you not tell the truth not only are you too worried about how other people perceive things

00:06:03.720 okay not only do you not understand that when you tell them the truth you're actually doing them a

00:06:08.840 real favor okay you telling them the facts helps them you telling them the facts helps you okay but

00:06:18.640 that's not the root problem here the root problem comes down to this other issue and the other issue

00:06:24.180 that goes right along with what we talked about last podcast is your inability to say the word no

00:06:31.820 okay i've been this guy i've been the guy that couldn't say no to anything i said yes to everything

00:06:39.860 or i said some watered down version of of you know sort of or i play in the middle and i give a wishy-washy

00:06:47.460 answer because i didn't want to commit to an answer and guys that makes you miserable and not only does it

00:06:52.020 make you miserable it makes people not respect you it makes people take advantage of you it makes people

00:06:57.580 not think that you have a backbone and guys let me tell you what you need to do to create

00:07:03.220 an effective skill within yourself with when it comes to managing others when it comes to telling

00:07:10.220 the truth when it comes to managing relationships when it comes to telling the truth there and it comes

00:07:15.060 to helping people improve by being a little bit confrontational and confrontational doesn't mean

00:07:21.220 you have to yell and scream at them it just means you have to tell them the fucking truth

00:07:24.600 okay someone's not losing weight and they're working their ass off uh you've got to tell them

00:07:29.360 the truth hey man i don't think your fucking diet's working right way uh if someone's trying to lose

00:07:33.500 weight and they're not uh getting results because they're half-assing it you've got to be able to

00:07:37.380 tell them hey bro you're not getting results because you're half-assing that's the way it is

00:07:39.860 if you give full if you give full effort you're gonna get full results if you have ever you're gonna

00:07:43.200 get nothing that's the way it is but i see this everywhere in business and fitness i see it everywhere

00:07:48.140 people can't tell the fucking truth and guys this comes down to our inability to say the word no and i don't know

00:07:52.960 where that comes from but i definitely used to be this guy that had trouble with that and what i

00:07:57.280 want you to realize this is that when you teach yourself to say no and not apologize for it not

00:08:03.480 only are you building respect with people not only are you uh building authority with people not only

00:08:09.060 are you setting yourself apart from the crowd but you were actually by saying no you were actually

00:08:15.180 saying yes to more of yourself okay saying no to useless shit means yes to more time for personal

00:08:25.140 development saying no to shit that you don't want to do or don't need to do okay that's yes to more

00:08:31.420 personal development growth and time invested in your business and time invested in your family and

00:08:36.060 time invested in all the things that you want to do and when you can't say no you end up spending all

00:08:41.320 your energy dealing with all these people who are asking so many things of you they have nothing left

00:08:46.760 for yourself and that is the biggest reason why people can't get ahead i believe this is the seed

00:08:53.060 that sprouts into the plant of poor leadership of poor ability to hold people accountable of poor ability

00:09:00.420 to have people respect you when it comes to telling the truth in a manager situation or in a coaching

00:09:07.940 situation or in a relationship situation it comes down and starts with us dreading to say no and

00:09:14.580 guys what i want you to know is this you do not need anybody else's approval and you don't need to

00:09:21.640 explain yourself when you say word no when you tell somebody no you don't need to follow it up with

00:09:27.280 well no because i got blah blah blah blah blah blah it's okay to just say fucking no and guess what when

00:09:34.780 you say no to someone and you say it without apologizing for it guess what will happen they will

00:09:40.240 stop asking you to do useless worthless time-consuming bullshit they'll stop walking all over you they'll

00:09:47.640 stop you know using you as their entertainment you have to learn to say the word no and many many many

00:09:56.860 lives millions and millions and millions of lives are completely fucking wasted because the people can't

00:10:04.760 ever be okay with telling other people no okay when you tell other people yes all the fucking time

00:10:12.260 dude you're going to have people walk all over you you're going to have people take advantage of you

00:10:15.960 you're going to have people lose respect for you and then on the inside you're going to be frustrated

00:10:20.380 and you're going to lose respect for yourself and you're going to lose confidence in yourself

00:10:24.300 and you're going to lose self-esteem in yourself because you know that you're letting other

00:10:28.900 motherfuckers walk all over you, and that is not okay. Now, I'm not saying you have to go out and

00:10:35.100 tell everybody no, but what I would suggest is that you say no to the shit you don't want to do.

00:10:42.500 Practice there. Just say fucking no. Hey, I think that was a drug slogan, wasn't it? Like in the

00:10:48.700 80s, Reagan shit, all right? Just say no. It's a good fucking idea. If you don't want to go to

00:10:53.540 that fucking party, say no. If you don't want to go to this concert, say no. It's okay. Just say

00:11:01.380 fucking no. Guys, when you start to be okay with saying the word no to people and not apologizing

00:11:07.680 for it, your self-esteem builds. Your confidence builds. People stop walking all over you, so you

00:11:13.680 don't have that resentful shit inside your heart and that negative energy inside your heart that is

00:11:18.740 keeping you from building the life you want. And by the way, you build some other skills too.

00:11:23.860 When you start to learn to say that word no and not apologize for it, you build the skills that we

00:11:30.200 talked about in the last podcast that create great leadership skills. The ability to look somebody in

00:11:36.200 the eye and tell them the fucking truth. Tell them what they're doing wrong. Tell them how they can get

00:11:41.540 better and explain to them that you care about them and that's why you're telling them this. Because dude,

00:11:47.580 there is no nobility in being the quote unquote nice guy that fucking tells people the shit they

00:11:52.680 want to hear their whole entire life. That's pussy shit. That's the shit that no, that means it's just

00:11:58.680 like, you know, it's just like trying to be in the middle and please everybody. You will try to create

00:12:04.100 a product, which is you that pleases everybody, but it's nobody's passionate about. You're a regular

00:12:09.280 vanilla motherfucker. Okay. You have to understand that when you learn these skills, other people

00:12:15.600 respect you. When you learn these skills, other people look to you for the answer. Okay. That's

00:12:21.580 valuable. The most valuable skills we talked about last podcast, we talked about it's leadership,

00:12:27.060 it's selling, and it's the ability to learn how to pay attention to details. And guys, this applies

00:12:33.440 to leadership and selling. All right. Think about it in a customer atmosphere. You're talking to a

00:12:40.440 customer and you tell them the fucking truth. Think about it. You just get right down to it.

00:12:45.980 Dude, I could tell you right now, you could take all the sales courses you want. You could take all

00:12:50.460 the fucking, you know, sales training you want. But the reality is, is what you need to learn is what

00:12:55.700 I'm telling you right here, because this shit will give you the backbone you need to fucking sell.

00:13:00.780 Dude, you look the motherfucking customer in the eye and you tell them this, Hey, look, man,

00:13:05.000 here's the deal. You could buy this fat burner and this protein, but the reality is, is if you don't do

00:13:09.100 the fucking work, you're wasting your fucking money. That's the truth. And you know what?

00:13:13.760 That's exactly what we fucking tell people. And you know what? People respect us for it because

00:13:17.860 it's the fucking truth. You're the personal trainer. You have somebody, your client who's

00:13:21.740 half-assing it and they say, Oh, you know, I want to lose 20 pounds. Well, no, you don't.

00:13:27.720 What do you mean? I don't. Well, you don't because your actions aren't backing up what you're saying.

00:13:31.440 If you really want to lose 20 pounds, your actions will back that up and they might get all

00:13:35.280 fucking pouty and shit and fucking walk off. You walk over to him and you say, Hey bro,

00:13:39.100 that's what you hired me for. You hired me to produce the best you. And I'm telling you the

00:13:43.200 truth so you can fucking deal with it and become the best. You think about it. It's easy. You guys

00:13:49.860 look at, you guys are looking for the magic solution to avoid the confrontation. You're

00:13:54.120 looking for the magic, magic solution to not have to say no or not have to tell the truth.

00:13:59.180 Guys, I'm telling you, if you can learn this skill, your life will fucking change. It will change.

00:14:04.000 It will change so dramatically that in a one or two years of practicing this and developing

00:14:09.820 it, I guarantee you, you'll have a better relationship. If not a new relationship with

00:14:14.240 somebody better. If you'll make more fucking money, you'll be happier because in your heart

00:14:19.300 you'll be cleansed of all the negative resentment that you're holding in. I used to be this fucking

00:14:23.860 guy. I would go fucking crazy, crazy because I always pussyfooted around with people. I wouldn't

00:14:31.620 give them the direct truth. I wouldn't tell them shit. Now I walk through the office and

00:14:34.900 somebody's doing some shitty work. I say, hey, bro, that fucking sucks. You could do a

00:14:39.000 lot better. And you know what? They do do better. And you know what they do? They come up to me

00:14:43.680 afterwards and they say, dude, that's fucking, that's good. I'm glad you told me that. And

00:14:46.680 it creates respect. See, that's the biggest thing that people don't understand about telling

00:14:50.920 people the truth or telling them no. They think that it's going to make people not like

00:14:53.880 you, but the reality is, is it caused them to respect you and that ultimately leads to liking

00:14:57.780 you. They might say you're a dick at first. They might not be used to hearing the truth.

00:15:03.160 Okay. But all you have to do is come back on the back end and say, dude, the reason I'm telling you

00:15:07.580 truth is because I fucking care. I'd be like every other motherfucker that you know and lie to your

00:15:11.680 fucking face, but I'm telling you the truth. And I guarantee you, all of you have met one person

00:15:15.440 like that. And I guarantee you, you respect the fuck out of them. So guys, if you want to get ahead,

00:15:20.600 if you want to fucking develop a skill that's going to help you develop the actual skills that are going to

00:15:24.600 get you fucking paid with your leadership sales and attention to details, this fucking core skill

00:15:30.440 of the ability to say no, and then on, you know, uncomplicate your life and have more time for you.

00:15:37.980 Because when you say no, you say yes to yourself for personal development. You say yes to yourself

00:15:43.040 for your family. You say yes to yourself for all the things that matter to you. And really what you're

00:15:48.260 doing is you're saying yes to yourself for advancement in life. But it starts with learning how to say no

00:15:54.180 and to not apologize for it and to let the confidence build and the self-esteem build and

00:16:00.140 the self-value build and the worth build because you know, in your heart, you're doing the right

00:16:05.640 fucking thing. Help other people do the right thing. Learn to tell the truth and start learning

00:16:12.800 tell the truth by starting with saying no.

One Word You're Not Saying That's Keeping You Unhappy, Underperforming, and Missing Opportunities, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO205

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