One Word You're Not Saying That's Keeping You Unhappy, Underperforming, and Missing Opportunities, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO205
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Summary
In this episode of the MF CEO Project, we talk about the importance of being able to tell the truth to other people and how it can help you become a better human being. We also talk about how to teach yourself how to be a better person and how to improve your communication skills so you can be successful in any area of life.
Transcript
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what is up guys you're listening to the MF CEO project I'm Andy I'm your host and I am the
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motherfucking CEO guys the goal of this podcast okay a lot of people get confused because they
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think it's an entrepreneur podcast only and you have to own a business or be an entrepreneur
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no you don't okay this is a personal development success entrepreneurship podcast a lot of the
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things that we talk about on here are going to be applicable to other areas of life success in
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anything is the same okay it's just applying the formula to different areas so while you listen to
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the podcast and and you know while you refer the podcast to your friends and tell people about it
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which I appreciate by the way don't let them think this is just for people that own their own
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business it's not and it's not just a motivation podcast either it is a practical how to do how
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to think how to be successful in any area of life podcast all right and guys I want to say I appreciate
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you guys um referring your friends all right uh we're doing great everything's going good it's been
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going good for the last two and a half years this will be our third year coming up and I just want
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to say thank you for all your support because we don't advertise this podcast anywhere all we do is
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ask that if you enjoy the content if you got something out of the content if it helps you
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that you refer a friend uh and then take the time to review and take the time to subscribe to the podcast
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all three of those things mean a lot to us because we pour a lot into this and we want more people to
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know we want to bring more people into the movement and we want to accomplish more with what we're doing
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and all of those things help us so guys for those of you doing that I really appreciate it for those
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of you who haven't done that yet please do it and uh you know help us spread the information that we
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need to spread now today now for you guys are new we do usually two podcasts a week a practical
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podcast on Tuesday um more mindset slash motivation I hate using the word motivation because I feel like
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it is overdone and I also feel like that people look to motivation as their end all be all when in
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reality it's not motivation it's going to get you where you want to go it's discipline um you know I
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happen to be blessed with uh you know a good delivery and a good skill for speaking and I know that's
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motivational to a lot of people but please try to hear what I'm saying and let the message be absorbed
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not just how I'm saying it okay um I don't want to be the next motivation guy I want to be the guy
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that shows you how to fucking succeed and I want you guys to go out and use these tools to be
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successful so usually today would be Thursday thunder but because it's Friday it is Friday fire now
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sometimes because I own a real business and I'm not just a social media celebrity slash guru slash
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that's all I do I actually run real companies uh the company that you might recognize would be
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first form uh www.1stphorm we're the world's leading sports performance and health supplement
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company um and I own a bunch of other companies too so I'm a fucking busy guy but that's neither here
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nor there what is here is this guys so many of you and so many of us and I know this and I say us
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because I've done this too and I had to evolve through this I'm going to piggyback sort of off
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of what the last podcast was and if you listen to last podcast um you're going to recognize some of this
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because it's going to build on it if you haven't listened to last podcast go go listen to it and you
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know you'll understand why this adds to that but guys we talked a lot in the last podcast about
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being able to teach yourself to tell the truth to other people the biggest thing holding you back
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guys is this your inability to tell people the facts versus a watered down version of the facts
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that makes them feel okay and I understand it doesn't feel good to hurt someone's feelings it doesn't
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feel good to say something to someone that you know is going to uh you know bother them or upset them
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but guys sometimes the truth just has to be fucking told okay your ability to tell the truth in a way
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that also that helps the other person improve get better okay and also helps you unleash the inner
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frustration that it's causing is a huge deal lots of people go through their life and they don't
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tell anybody the truth because they have this weird thing that they're afraid it's going to like break
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them okay you're going to say this one thing and their whole life is going to be destroyed no that's
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not how it works but that fear of that is what keeps us from doing it and what happens then is that we
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instead internalize that frustration and keep it from that person and this could be in a business
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sense it could be in a relationship sense there's a lot of different ways that we could apply this
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but in all of those ways when we buffer the truth and we don't say the truth and we let people get by
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and we let them keep going down the path it hurts them because they don't learn what they're doing wrong
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and they don't learn what they're doing uh what they need to do to be productive and it furthermore it
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hurts you because it frustrates you it makes you angry it makes you bitter and it makes you resentful
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towards that person and guys this is the mother of all relationship killers by the way but in business
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and management and leadership it's a huge deal too and what it does come down to you guys is that
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not only can you not tell the truth not only are you too worried about how other people perceive things
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okay not only do you not understand that when you tell them the truth you're actually doing them a
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real favor okay you telling them the facts helps them you telling them the facts helps you okay but
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that's not the root problem here the root problem comes down to this other issue and the other issue
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that goes right along with what we talked about last podcast is your inability to say the word no
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okay i've been this guy i've been the guy that couldn't say no to anything i said yes to everything
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or i said some watered down version of of you know sort of or i play in the middle and i give a wishy-washy
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answer because i didn't want to commit to an answer and guys that makes you miserable and not only does it
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make you miserable it makes people not respect you it makes people take advantage of you it makes people
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not think that you have a backbone and guys let me tell you what you need to do to create
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an effective skill within yourself with when it comes to managing others when it comes to telling
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the truth when it comes to managing relationships when it comes to telling the truth there and it comes
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to helping people improve by being a little bit confrontational and confrontational doesn't mean
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you have to yell and scream at them it just means you have to tell them the fucking truth
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okay someone's not losing weight and they're working their ass off uh you've got to tell them
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the truth hey man i don't think your fucking diet's working right way uh if someone's trying to lose
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weight and they're not uh getting results because they're half-assing it you've got to be able to
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tell them hey bro you're not getting results because you're half-assing that's the way it is
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if you give full if you give full effort you're gonna get full results if you have ever you're gonna
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get nothing that's the way it is but i see this everywhere in business and fitness i see it everywhere
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people can't tell the fucking truth and guys this comes down to our inability to say the word no and i don't know
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where that comes from but i definitely used to be this guy that had trouble with that and what i
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want you to realize this is that when you teach yourself to say no and not apologize for it not
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only are you building respect with people not only are you uh building authority with people not only
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are you setting yourself apart from the crowd but you were actually by saying no you were actually
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saying yes to more of yourself okay saying no to useless shit means yes to more time for personal
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development saying no to shit that you don't want to do or don't need to do okay that's yes to more
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personal development growth and time invested in your business and time invested in your family and
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time invested in all the things that you want to do and when you can't say no you end up spending all
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your energy dealing with all these people who are asking so many things of you they have nothing left
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for yourself and that is the biggest reason why people can't get ahead i believe this is the seed
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that sprouts into the plant of poor leadership of poor ability to hold people accountable of poor ability
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to have people respect you when it comes to telling the truth in a manager situation or in a coaching
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situation or in a relationship situation it comes down and starts with us dreading to say no and
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guys what i want you to know is this you do not need anybody else's approval and you don't need to
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explain yourself when you say word no when you tell somebody no you don't need to follow it up with
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well no because i got blah blah blah blah blah blah it's okay to just say fucking no and guess what when
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you say no to someone and you say it without apologizing for it guess what will happen they will
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stop asking you to do useless worthless time-consuming bullshit they'll stop walking all over you they'll
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stop you know using you as their entertainment you have to learn to say the word no and many many many
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lives millions and millions and millions of lives are completely fucking wasted because the people can't
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ever be okay with telling other people no okay when you tell other people yes all the fucking time
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dude you're going to have people walk all over you you're going to have people take advantage of you
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you're going to have people lose respect for you and then on the inside you're going to be frustrated
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and you're going to lose respect for yourself and you're going to lose confidence in yourself
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and you're going to lose self-esteem in yourself because you know that you're letting other
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motherfuckers walk all over you, and that is not okay. Now, I'm not saying you have to go out and
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tell everybody no, but what I would suggest is that you say no to the shit you don't want to do.
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Practice there. Just say fucking no. Hey, I think that was a drug slogan, wasn't it? Like in the
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80s, Reagan shit, all right? Just say no. It's a good fucking idea. If you don't want to go to
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that fucking party, say no. If you don't want to go to this concert, say no. It's okay. Just say
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fucking no. Guys, when you start to be okay with saying the word no to people and not apologizing
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for it, your self-esteem builds. Your confidence builds. People stop walking all over you, so you
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don't have that resentful shit inside your heart and that negative energy inside your heart that is
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keeping you from building the life you want. And by the way, you build some other skills too.
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When you start to learn to say that word no and not apologize for it, you build the skills that we
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talked about in the last podcast that create great leadership skills. The ability to look somebody in
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the eye and tell them the fucking truth. Tell them what they're doing wrong. Tell them how they can get
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better and explain to them that you care about them and that's why you're telling them this. Because dude,
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there is no nobility in being the quote unquote nice guy that fucking tells people the shit they
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want to hear their whole entire life. That's pussy shit. That's the shit that no, that means it's just
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like, you know, it's just like trying to be in the middle and please everybody. You will try to create
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a product, which is you that pleases everybody, but it's nobody's passionate about. You're a regular
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vanilla motherfucker. Okay. You have to understand that when you learn these skills, other people
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respect you. When you learn these skills, other people look to you for the answer. Okay. That's
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valuable. The most valuable skills we talked about last podcast, we talked about it's leadership,
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it's selling, and it's the ability to learn how to pay attention to details. And guys, this applies
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to leadership and selling. All right. Think about it in a customer atmosphere. You're talking to a
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customer and you tell them the fucking truth. Think about it. You just get right down to it.
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Dude, I could tell you right now, you could take all the sales courses you want. You could take all
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the fucking, you know, sales training you want. But the reality is, is what you need to learn is what
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I'm telling you right here, because this shit will give you the backbone you need to fucking sell.
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Dude, you look the motherfucking customer in the eye and you tell them this, Hey, look, man,
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here's the deal. You could buy this fat burner and this protein, but the reality is, is if you don't do
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the fucking work, you're wasting your fucking money. That's the truth. And you know what?
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That's exactly what we fucking tell people. And you know what? People respect us for it because
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it's the fucking truth. You're the personal trainer. You have somebody, your client who's
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half-assing it and they say, Oh, you know, I want to lose 20 pounds. Well, no, you don't.
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What do you mean? I don't. Well, you don't because your actions aren't backing up what you're saying.
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If you really want to lose 20 pounds, your actions will back that up and they might get all
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fucking pouty and shit and fucking walk off. You walk over to him and you say, Hey bro,
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that's what you hired me for. You hired me to produce the best you. And I'm telling you the
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truth so you can fucking deal with it and become the best. You think about it. It's easy. You guys
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look at, you guys are looking for the magic solution to avoid the confrontation. You're
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looking for the magic, magic solution to not have to say no or not have to tell the truth.
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Guys, I'm telling you, if you can learn this skill, your life will fucking change. It will change.
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It will change so dramatically that in a one or two years of practicing this and developing
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it, I guarantee you, you'll have a better relationship. If not a new relationship with
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somebody better. If you'll make more fucking money, you'll be happier because in your heart
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you'll be cleansed of all the negative resentment that you're holding in. I used to be this fucking
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guy. I would go fucking crazy, crazy because I always pussyfooted around with people. I wouldn't
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give them the direct truth. I wouldn't tell them shit. Now I walk through the office and
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somebody's doing some shitty work. I say, hey, bro, that fucking sucks. You could do a
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lot better. And you know what? They do do better. And you know what they do? They come up to me
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afterwards and they say, dude, that's fucking, that's good. I'm glad you told me that. And
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it creates respect. See, that's the biggest thing that people don't understand about telling
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people the truth or telling them no. They think that it's going to make people not like
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you, but the reality is, is it caused them to respect you and that ultimately leads to liking
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you. They might say you're a dick at first. They might not be used to hearing the truth.
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Okay. But all you have to do is come back on the back end and say, dude, the reason I'm telling you
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truth is because I fucking care. I'd be like every other motherfucker that you know and lie to your
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fucking face, but I'm telling you the truth. And I guarantee you, all of you have met one person
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like that. And I guarantee you, you respect the fuck out of them. So guys, if you want to get ahead,
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if you want to fucking develop a skill that's going to help you develop the actual skills that are going to
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get you fucking paid with your leadership sales and attention to details, this fucking core skill
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of the ability to say no, and then on, you know, uncomplicate your life and have more time for you.
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Because when you say no, you say yes to yourself for personal development. You say yes to yourself
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for your family. You say yes to yourself for all the things that matter to you. And really what you're
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doing is you're saying yes to yourself for advancement in life. But it starts with learning how to say no
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and to not apologize for it and to let the confidence build and the self-esteem build and
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the self-value build and the worth build because you know, in your heart, you're doing the right
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fucking thing. Help other people do the right thing. Learn to tell the truth and start learning