REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Peace, Power, and Living Your Ultimate Purpose, ft. Dr. Nicole LePera, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO306

00:00:00.400 I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.

00:00:04.880 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.

00:00:12.260 What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO.

00:00:20.800 I'm pretty proud of myself remembering that. Last podcast, I actually forgot the intro to my own podcast. 0.95

00:00:25.420 That is a pretty accurate representation of what my days are like currently.

00:00:32.500 I know you guys all know the feeling of being overwhelmed. I know you all know the feeling of

00:00:37.500 feeling like everything's crazy, and it's chaos, and it's organized chaos, and what's really cool

00:00:44.300 about that is that we have one of the most appropriate guests for that place that you

00:00:51.540 are mentally right now that I am definitely at mentally on this podcast today. But before

00:00:56.740 we get into that, guys, I wanted to remind you of a couple things. One is I want to say thank you,

00:01:03.780 guys. It's really cool to step away for a few weeks and still come back and see the podcast

00:01:10.520 ranked at number one or two. That means you guys are, you know, instead of bailing on me,

00:01:15.000 you're going out and listening to old episodes and refreshing. That's how this content should

00:01:20.400 be used. I really appreciate you guys doing it like that. It's really cool to be a part of a

00:01:27.580 group and a culture, which is what this is, let's be real, that truly takes initiative in their own

00:01:35.380 learning. You know, I see there's people that always, you know, when we step away from the

00:01:39.300 podcast for a couple weeks, they're like, man, we're the podcast. I appreciate that. But let's be

00:01:44.180 real, dude. We got 300. This is 306 episodes that we've got out there. There's plenty of shit to

00:01:49.060 listen to. So cut me a break, motherfuckers. I got shit to do too. All right. But with that being 1.00

00:01:54.140 said, guys, this is a free show. I don't run ads. I don't do any of that other stuff. These guys do.

00:02:01.040 And as a reward for that, I'm going to ask for my own reward. Is that even allowed?

00:02:07.660 Yeah. Okay. I am going to do that. My own reward will be, my own reward shall be.

00:02:16.640 Talk about me, motherfuckers. Jesus. Tell people about me. If you like the show, tell people. If 1.00

00:02:23.160 you get something out of the show, tell people. That's why I do this, to help people. This is a

00:02:28.880 project. All right. You guys are a part of the project. Now, Vaughn. Yes. What is your name

00:02:39.480 today? Are you feeling Vaughn Swoller? You know what? I'm not even focused on myself. I'm not even

00:02:46.960 focused on myself because the last two days have been truly awesome to be part of the MFCO project

00:02:53.280 because yesterday I was approached by somebody who said the MFCO project changed her life,

00:02:58.580 helped save her life. Is that the girl that you post on? Yeah. That was really cool. Her actual

00:03:02.160 full name is Summer Rain Pratt. Summer Rain. Which is really funny. Isn't there a song?

00:03:06.680 But actually, she didn't just say the MFCO. So this is kind of a funny story. Her old boss

00:03:11.580 runs a, I guess it's a, some sort of security company. He actually made them listen to the MFCO

00:03:19.780 project and in listening to it, being forced to listen to it, she started developing the mindset

00:03:24.460 and then she found out about First Form, met a couple of guys. One of them was Austin Davis

00:03:29.040 and the other guy was like Blaylock or something. Do you know a guy named something Blaylock or

00:03:33.840 Blalock? Black? I don't know. Anyway, long story short. Yes, I know. Travis Blaylock. He's a manager

00:03:42.420 of our company, Vaughn. I'm surprised you don't know him. Well, in any case, those guys transformed

00:03:47.620 her life and it was really cool. Did you know that 100 to 0 actually came from Austin Davis?

00:03:52.920 I didn't know that, but that's very cool. Yeah. So it's funny that you bring him up.

00:03:56.140 Austin 316? Austin 316. Yeah.

00:04:00.120 So Austin is also a coach of a very, very, very successful football program here in St.

00:04:08.340 Louis called Lutheran North. They actually are one of the highest producing schools of division

00:04:17.620 one scholarship football players in the country. Wow. That's awesome.

00:04:21.620 So he puts in a lot of time with these kids. Austin's one of my favorite dudes in our company

00:04:28.240 and one of my favorite dudes, period, in or out of the company because he truly understands

00:04:33.800 what it means to be a winner and what it takes to be a winner. And him and I were talking maybe,

00:04:42.500 I don't know, a couple of years ago when it first came out and he's like, yeah, dude,

00:04:46.540 we were talking about parents getting pissed off and coaches getting fired for running up the score.

00:04:52.120 And so essentially what they're doing is they're getting fired for doing their job the best way

00:04:56.040 that they can. And we were both talking about it. He's like, fuck, dude, every time I go out,

00:04:59.920 I tell these guys we should be at 100 to 0. I'm like, dude, I'm making that a thing. And that's 1.00

00:05:04.260 how it came from. That's awesome. Yeah.

00:05:05.500 So that was yesterday. And today on my way here, grabbing a coffee, I walked out and somebody said,

00:05:12.780 hey, are you Vaughn Kohler? And I said, why, yes. Yes, I am. And this is actually really cool.

00:05:19.380 This guy named Brandon came out here. He was laying in his bed. He's a guy, he's got a kid.

00:05:26.160 He came out here from Sacramento. He basically went through a divorce. He had no job.

00:05:34.180 Um, had been in some sort of signage industry or something like that, where you make signs for

00:05:39.920 people. Anyway, long story short, he just happened to turn on a podcast or somehow he came across the

00:05:44.820 MFCO project and you were basically saying, get off your butt, quit making excuses. 0.99

00:05:50.220 I did not say that. Okay. I said, get off your fucking ass. Yes, exactly. That's what 0.99

00:05:55.200 exactly. So you said that and he did. And now the dude goes, this is facts. This is facts.

00:06:03.400 A year later. Did you just shout me down? I did. But I'm excited, man. My little son is

00:06:09.540 growing up so big. Well, listen, this is cool though. Like a year later and he credits this,

00:06:16.740 like I would also say like, and you would agree with this. He can credit the podcast all he want.

00:06:21.140 You shouted me down. Now you're speaking for me. Now I'm really getting big. You are growing the

00:06:25.960 fuck up. I am. But no, it's those muscles. It is. It is. It's man. It's going to be tough at 0.99

00:06:30.860 Summer Smash, you know? I know we're going to have more security for you, dude. Yeah. It's

00:06:34.240 going to be crazy. But, um, no, I mean, he, he credits the podcast, but ultimately he did the

00:06:40.400 work, you know, he did the work. And, uh, but he said that he's currently he's, he's making,

00:06:47.240 he's like into well into six figures on his, on his income. So that's pretty, pretty cool stories.

00:06:52.160 So it's just a reminder. It's, it's, uh, you know, I know you've been frustrated lately with

00:06:55.840 the success zombies and stuff like that, but there are good people who are, who are being

00:07:00.240 impacted by the, the, the project is I like to say of impacting people. Yes. We talking about

00:07:06.900 bear again. Now if broad, if Bradley was here, he'd make fun of me. Yeah. Right. Um, but we have

00:07:12.920 one of the most impactful people that I found on social media as our guest today. Uh, I am very

00:07:21.380 excited to have her as a guest today. Uh, why don't you tell people who we got with us

00:07:26.740 today? Cause I think it's really special. So Dr. Nicole LaPera is with us who on Instagram

00:07:32.180 is known as the holistic psychologist, not WH, but just H. Uh, and she founded the mindful

00:07:40.000 healing center in center city, Philly, Philly, Philly, which we won't get into this, but Philly

00:07:45.420 has a role in the, uh, in the blue Stanley cup win. But, uh, anyway, Dr. LaPera works

00:07:52.220 with individuals, couples, families. Um, she talks about, you know, gut health, sleep

00:07:57.640 movement, cellular health, belief, and mindfulness. And she basically, I mean, I'm

00:08:02.100 going to put this in layman's terms, but basically you have a real heart and commitment

00:08:06.440 to the idea of seeing the connection between the body and the mind and how that can help

00:08:11.680 heal us and how that contributes to our overall mental health, but also just like happiness,

00:08:17.320 success, wellbeing. And, uh, you're going to share a lot more about yourself, uh, than I'm

00:08:24.380 going to do you credit for, but, uh, welcome.

00:08:26.660 Thank you so much for having me.

00:08:27.660 Where I was going to fucking add something on the end, bro. 0.72

00:08:30.060 Oh. 0.94

00:08:30.600 Don't you remember our pre? So this is how this is going to go from now on. When you deviate

00:08:36.580 the play, I'm going to make fun of you.

00:08:37.900 All right. You can do that.

00:08:38.760 So what did I say before the show was going to happen? That I said you would introduce

00:08:43.080 her and then I would, would do what?

00:08:44.460 That you would sing.

00:08:46.420 No, that's not what I said.

00:08:47.360 Okay.

00:08:47.700 What'd I say, Tyler?

00:08:48.320 I actually forget. It's cause I'm drinking soda.

00:08:50.220 Tyler, what'd I say?

00:08:52.320 You definitely said that you would sing.

00:08:56.560 I'm quite sure I heard that too.

00:08:59.440 Anyway, guys, Nicole was going to be on the show, but she had to cancel. So it's just

00:09:04.100 going to be the 80 show and Vaughn and Tyler are fucking fire. All right. 0.99

00:09:08.280 So seriously, thank you for being on the show. It's an honor. Vaughn and I are moving away

00:09:16.860 from having the typical entrepreneur guests and we've decided and made a conscious decision

00:09:23.540 that we are going to start bringing in people that we love, that we like to hear about, who

00:09:28.800 have helped us. And you're at the top of that list, especially for me. If you guys don't follow

00:09:35.500 her on Instagram, you need to be following her because she's incredibly, incredibly, incredibly 0.98

00:09:41.800 brilliant. And I don't say that about very many people. Um, and has provided me a lot

00:09:48.520 of value from afar and become someone who, who, you know, I confide in now when I have

00:09:53.980 issues. Uh, so thank you for coming.

00:09:58.100 Thank you so much for having me. I am truly, truly humbled. And honestly, as part of my

00:10:02.380 story, which I'm sure I'll get to today, the fact that I am on an entrepreneurial podcast,

00:10:07.700 having overcome so many of the limiting beliefs through mindset, um, really using your page,

00:10:13.580 Andy has been incredible. So this is to me a, a victory on a deep, deep level. So I

00:10:18.460 cannot thank you enough.

00:10:19.580 We're, we're equally as excited to start from day one of your life and give us just

00:10:24.040 like a day to by day summary up until this point.

00:10:26.440 Yeah, absolutely. And it's, it's, it's really interesting because being that I am very holistic

00:10:30.620 now, I mean, my story does not necessarily involve that in a, I think from a personal perspective

00:10:36.220 and from a professional perspective. Um, so my life really consisted of a whole lot of

00:10:42.200 anxiety from a, from a personal level. Um, little girl, as long as I can remember, pretty

00:10:47.620 much afraid of everything, hiding under tables. So anxiety was all I knew. Uh, I made peace

00:10:53.020 with the fact because I think the large societal belief was, especially with something with anxiety,

00:10:58.380 you either had it or you didn't. And if you had it, you always had it. So, you know, I walked

00:11:02.740 my life just more or less taking a management model. Um, I am someone who always kind of

00:11:08.840 knew intuitively what I wanted to be when I got older, it was going to be a psychologist.

00:11:13.560 Um, I was following, I guess something kind of on a deeper level. I loved the mind. I was

00:11:18.620 so fascinated by the mind. And so as long as I can remember, you know, undergrad, it was

00:11:23.800 psychology. Then I went right into a graduate program and I trained very traditionally, um,

00:11:29.460 to be a clinical psychologist. I do have my PhD and the model then when I entered school

00:11:34.120 that I wholeheartedly endorsed was, you know, there's two options when you had, when you

00:11:39.460 had struggles, psychological struggles. Um, and that was talk therapy, medication and

00:11:44.080 or both. Um, so long story short, I finished a very long training program and I moved back

00:11:50.520 to Philly. I did my training in New York and I hung my shingle, if you will. Uh, and I luckily

00:11:56.220 was able to generate a pretty successful practice pretty early on. So I'm logging hours upon hours,

00:12:02.060 working with, with the clients that I was seeing. And in my personal life, my anxiety was still

00:12:07.180 there. Um, and I had a pretty bad year. Um, physically I had some crazy physical symptoms

00:12:14.300 that had started to happen to me. My anxiety again started to spike to a level that was starting

00:12:19.500 to feel unmanageable. And part of, I guess I should mention this, my, one of my anxiety

00:12:25.640 components was very much health-based. So anytime I started to have physical issues or ailments,

00:12:30.520 I got scared, scared, scared shitless, to be honest. I was fainting all of this really kind

00:12:35.140 of crazy stuff. Like, it's just like when you get like a, you faint once and then you go

00:12:39.860 to a WebMD and literally everything that it leads to is you're going to die.

00:12:44.020 Yeah, pretty much, pretty much, pretty much. And because I was, I mean, I was fainting,

00:12:47.120 I was forgetting names. So all of it, I was assuming was probably a sure indicator that

00:12:52.020 something was going on pretty terrible in my brain. So of all the organs that I could have

00:12:57.840 been really afraid of, it was really my brain. So I was, I was, I was scared. Um, long story

00:13:02.580 short, I went online and I was like, okay, what the hell is going on with me? I mean, what diagnosis

00:13:05.720 is it? And more importantly, what am I going to do about it? And my mind was blown. I mean,

00:13:11.320 I was opened up to a world of science and the epigenetics and just things that gut health

00:13:18.300 and things that I had never, ever learned in school, never heard about, had no idea. I

00:13:23.380 was always someone that was moderately healthy. You know, I cared about what I ate. Um, but

00:13:28.860 never in a million years did I understand the importance of caring, you know, about what

00:13:33.260 I ate in terms of my mental wellness. So I cobbled together a little bit of a plan and I went

00:13:38.580 on my own self healing journey. Um, and I started to get better and that was really,

00:13:42.700 really cool for me. And meanwhile, I was, you know, kind of moonlighting still as the therapist

00:13:46.740 that I was week after week, after week, year after year, after year, seeing these same people

00:13:50.440 that every week I was starting to notice a pattern in them as well. And they would come

00:13:54.760 in and, you know, we would talk about all these great plans and have all these great insights.

00:13:58.960 Next week we were back at the same point. Oh, I'm stuck. Oh, I did this thing again. Oh,

00:14:02.740 I reacted the way I didn't want to react. So I'm starting to see parallels. Cause that,

00:14:06.700 that was my lived experience of anxiety too. I knew all the things. I mean, Christ,

00:14:10.480 I was a clinical psychologist. I felt like I was pretty insightful and still I was living those

00:14:15.880 same patterns. So I didn't know what to do kind of having success on my own. I was really starting

00:14:22.480 to be inspired that the, what I was doing to heal myself, changing my nutrition, changing my sleep

00:14:27.640 habits, getting my body in a physiological balance and really starting to work with my mind in a

00:14:33.280 different way. I wanted to start to share these and I didn't know where. Um, so online world opened

00:14:38.360 up to me and I thought, shit, let me just go online and kind of put these methods out there and see.

00:14:43.800 So I started a page and crazy that it really just started to take off. And I honestly attribute it 0.82

00:14:49.900 to, I think people were ready to start to look at alternative methods. I think a lot of people

00:14:54.740 were feeling like myself, um, and like my clients, they were frustrated with being stuck and they

00:14:59.680 didn't like the options available. So long story short, about a couple months in, I was getting

00:15:04.340 these messages from people all over the world, not having worked with me, not having spoken to me,

00:15:09.760 using my methods and seeing progress. At that point, I was like, okay, something is really,

00:15:15.660 you know, there is such importance in taking the whole person into account. Again, reminding,

00:15:20.520 I did not learn about any of the body component of it in school, um, of us really. Um, and just the

00:15:28.200 messages I were getting were so inspiring that I knew at this point that this was something that

00:15:32.960 I had to look at the whole person and that I had to really start to understand why we were all

00:15:39.120 psychologically stuck. So aside from the body piece of things, I really started to hone in on

00:15:44.720 what is going on here. What is that part of us that just keeps us stuck despite insight,

00:15:49.580 despite awareness. Um, and at that point I knew that I had, I had a crisis of, of professional,

00:15:54.320 I guess, self in a way. And I realized that I had to, I had to start to incorporate these methods

00:15:59.100 and work solely on this whole person perspective. I bet you learned how to write a script in school

00:16:04.380 though. Didn't you learn how to write a script? Yeah. Right. I mean, that's, that's what we were

00:16:08.140 told. And I still, and so I have two motivating factors, quite honestly. Now I want to get these

00:16:12.440 tools out to humans to heal because I truly believe that any human can heal, um, without the help of

00:16:17.620 another. Yes. You know, outside perspective support, all of that is incredibly helpful. Um, but I think

00:16:22.480 these are some tools that we can all implement. And honestly, my other motivation is I want to get

00:16:26.940 these tools out to clinicians because I think, and I get messages from all over, honestly, the world at

00:16:32.400 this point from other clinicians, professionals who are equally feeling just as frustrated, whether

00:16:36.980 it's with their own mental wellness or in their own practices. So I think that the, I think just

00:16:42.240 training has to expand that unless you have these tools, I just think that, you know, we're stagnant in

00:16:48.020 a way that is not serving any of us to be perfectly honest. Yeah, totally. Totally. I, I, I really

00:16:54.400 like what you said about the, um, you know, everybody's capable of healing themselves on their

00:17:01.080 own. I actually, I actually take that a step further. I think that's a requirement. I don't

00:17:06.220 think it's they're capable. I think they have to, you know what I mean? Um, I don't know how you feel

00:17:10.620 about that, but like, I I'm just speaking of my own, like understand guys. I just want you to

00:17:16.420 understand something. I don't say this very much, but when I say, when I say how things are, you

00:17:23.240 have to, uh, I hope that you understand that I'm saying those things from my perspective of life. 0.95

00:17:31.620 And I just happen to have a pretty wide fucking perspective. I've dealt with all kinds of 0.77

00:17:36.540 different people for a long fucking time. I've seen it, how it's worked. I've seen how it doesn't 0.98

00:17:41.460 work and I have my own experiences. And from my own experience, I'm just going to throw this out

00:17:46.100 there as an example. I have a very unhealthy relationship with food. Very. That's why I was

00:17:51.880 350 fucking pounds. And, and that led into all kinds of other things, but you know, I know you 0.99

00:18:00.580 could tell me, you know, Hey Andy, you're fat. Hey, you need to do this. Hey, you need to do that.

00:18:04.820 Hey, this, I knew that I fucking run a nutritional supplement company, you know, one of the biggest 0.83

00:18:08.920 ones in the world. Like this is all I've ever done, but doing things and knowing things is huge 0.93

00:18:17.200 chasm that needs to be crossed. And for me, it just came down to like, just in this one area of life

00:18:26.220 for me, like the, that I just had to make a decision that though, that food, food and alcohol wasn't

00:18:32.960 going to make the decision for me anymore. I was going to make the decision. I wasn't going to be the

00:18:36.820 kind of person who said, Oh, I'm cutting this all out forever. Cause I see that as weakness too.

00:18:41.180 Like I see, like, if you've got to make a rule, it's so rigid that you have to cut it out forever.

00:18:45.580 That's like saying, I'm going to learn how to swim with my life jacket on. And then thinking you're

00:18:50.180 a good swimmer, right? You don't really know if you're a good swimmer until you take the life

00:18:53.900 jacket off. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So like for me, I just had to decide like, dude,

00:18:59.820 you're, I had to be honest with myself. Like, dude, you're, you're making decisions based upon

00:19:07.820 some inanimate object that has no real influence, you know? Like, and doctor, I went to therapists.

00:19:16.980 I went to doctors. People don't know this shit. I went to all of this shit. It wasn't until I looked 1.00

00:19:22.300 at it and I said, dude, you got to, you're fucking weak. You're letting these things control you. 1.00

00:19:27.540 And I made the decision that I wasn't going to allow them to control me. And that's when

00:19:30.680 shit started changing. So it was a self journey that I had to like put on my own shoulders and 0.99

00:19:37.660 carry. Does that make sense? Yeah. 100%. I mean, you, you just spoke so much of what I speak every

00:19:43.020 day. So first and foremost, I don't care who you go to and what incredible pearl of insight you have.

00:19:49.000 Healing is an everyday activity. That's it. So there is a gap. And I talk even, I'll talk about tools

00:19:54.380 and I share a lot of tools and I tell people right up front, we're going to talk about using

00:19:58.600 these tools and I'm going to teach you how to use them. Say at a time and a place, whether it's

00:20:01.780 meditation, whether it's breath work tools that I believe wholeheartedly in, but then there's that

00:20:06.140 bridge between now I have to use the underlying, you know, shift in my relationship with my thoughts.

00:20:12.700 If we're talking about meditation or ability to regulate my physiology, if we're talking about

00:20:17.320 breath work, I have to now use that during my day. Right. It's not enough. I don't leave it on the

00:20:21.960 magic cushion and hope that I'm now going to get better. And I work with a lot of people who will

00:20:28.020 come to me and say, well, I've meditated for 25 years and I'm not better. These things don't work.

00:20:32.040 And I think that's the critical piece that's missing. It's because you're not now bringing

00:20:36.060 that you are going into your day and you're living those old habits and those old patterns and more of

00:20:41.720 what I call autopilot, which is why I think that consciousness is the biggest, most important

00:20:47.020 first step of, of change. That just means showing up, being honest. I talk about radical honesty,

00:20:53.760 really looking for yourself. And I will teach you how to look. I teach people how to see internally

00:20:59.440 the role that they are playing quite literally in every decision that they are making. And sometimes

00:21:05.160 the role that they are playing is by not showing up consciously by being in that more sleep state.

00:21:10.560 They're showing up. They're showing up. But the key word here is consciously to where I think what

00:21:16.620 you're saying. And if I'm saying, if I'm not saying it right, definitely. I know you will correct me,

00:21:20.300 but what I'm saying and what I'm hearing and what I've experienced with this is that

00:21:26.300 the consciousness part is the, it's the key.

00:21:30.120 That's it. Life is, I always joke. I say lifeful is as simple as and as complicated as developing

00:21:34.860 consistent consciousness all day long. And it's quite uncomfortable when you do that.

00:21:38.520 So I think that's a part of it too. That's right. And so I'm just going to relate this back to this

00:21:42.600 program. A lot of the guy, a lot of the people listening are doing right now, which is the 75

00:21:46.540 hard program. I'm having a lot of people reach out to me and they're saying, well, I'm doing

00:21:50.960 everything. I'm doing everything that you're telling me to do. I'm on day 67. I'm doing everything

00:21:58.220 you said, but I still, I still don't feel like it's doing this. You know why? Because it's become too

00:22:03.020 much of your routine and you're not conscious about it when you're doing it. Right? So

00:22:07.840 doing something and doing something with an intention behind it is completely two different

00:22:13.000 things. And it doesn't matter how uncomfortable something is. If you do it every day with no

00:22:19.880 consciousness, it will become routine. If you said, Hey, 70, 75 days in a row, I want you to walk

00:22:28.000 across a bed of barbed wire. It's going to fucking hurt. Okay. It's going to hurt every fucking time 0.99

00:22:34.480 and you're going to get used to doing it because that's what happens when you make things routine. 0.99

00:22:40.640 You're going to just start to accept the hurt. And then eventually what happens is you don't think

00:22:44.940 about it anymore. And then when you stop thinking about it and you're not conscious in it, now you're

00:22:49.400 talking about something that doesn't have the same effect on you as it should, right? When you're

00:22:55.300 conscious in the process of doing it. Is that correct?

00:22:58.560 Yeah. 100%. And the reality of it is in, unless we consciously intend or set an intention to come

00:23:07.180 out of autopilot autopilot and the subconscious, that's what autopilot is run from. We dictates our

00:23:14.120 decisions 95% of our day. So that is the reality of it. So to speak to your point, things just get

00:23:19.960 stored and then we become complacent and we're going to the problem with that is, and this is why I'm

00:23:24.900 always, I hear the word stuck a million times over. I work with people that feel stuck and they feel

00:23:29.960 stuck because if you are operating from that autopilot place, you are going to continue to

00:23:35.540 get the same results you always have gotten because that you are living in your past in that way. And

00:23:40.820 that's why, despite insight, despite all of the best, you know, directed intentions, if you don't

00:23:47.360 intend and watch and observe and be conscious of yourself throughout the day, you're just going to be

00:23:52.840 that living in that repetition. And this has guys, this has practical use. Okay. Like I have this

00:23:59.140 conversation we're having right now with my salespeople all the time about the customer's

00:24:05.160 experience. All right. Let's not forget, this is an entrepreneurship podcast. This is practical

00:24:10.620 shit. Some of you guys are listening. You're like, Oh, I'm not really into this shit. Well, you 1.00

00:24:13.720 fucking should be because it's going to cost you money. And here's why you guys salespeople, 0.99

00:24:18.380 your salespeople are, their job is to solve the customer's problem. Their job is to create an

00:24:24.880 amazing experience to facilitate word of mouth stories being told of you that will ultimately

00:24:30.460 bring you more customers and repeat the cycle over and over and over again. And, and I teach this,

00:24:35.340 I teach this so much, especially in our RTA group. And when I do private consulting and things like that,

00:24:41.300 people will go do it. They're like, I did exactly what you said. I did exactly what you said,

00:24:46.220 but it's not working the way that you said it would. Well, that's because you're going through

00:24:50.440 the motions instead of having an intention of actually helping the customer or actually solving 0.98

00:24:57.300 their problem or actually intentionally creating experiences that makes them say, Holy shit, 0.97

00:25:02.760 that was awesome. Right? So you can go through all the same motions. It's the analogy I use for 0.96

00:25:07.900 washing the car. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You get the bucket, you put the water in, you put the sponge in,

00:25:13.420 you put the bucket next to the car, you spray the car off, you dip the sponge in the water,

00:25:19.600 you wipe the car down. Car looks like shit. Why does it look like shit? Because you didn't take 0.99

00:25:25.900 the 2% or the 1% extra effort of squirting the soap in the bucket to start with. That's all the

00:25:32.740 difference. That's the intention. That's the intention. That's the consciousness. When you do

00:25:37.640 something with the intention, when you do something with the consciousness that will take 1% extra

00:25:43.660 effort, because it does take effort to be aware and it does take effort to be conscious and it does

00:25:49.020 take effort to have intention. But in regards to the overall effort, we're talking about a very

00:25:54.240 minuscule percentage of effort spent for an exponentially larger result. And that's where

00:26:02.480 people are missing. That's the link that's missing is they're not understanding. Like when you said to

00:26:07.440 me, when we were texting a week or two ago and you, you said, I like to think that consciousness

00:26:11.860 ultimately, I think you said was the answer for almost everything. And it is. And like,

00:26:17.300 I didn't have to respond back because I already knew what you meant. You know what I mean? At first

00:26:21.120 I read it and I was like, fuck, that's so simple, but it's, it is the truth. Yeah. 0.99

00:26:26.260 You know, it's effortful. I want to speak to that point too, because our autopilot speaking from a

00:26:31.920 physiological perspective, it actually conserves caloric energy. Our brain prefers. And I always

00:26:37.520 talk about the underlying physiology, whether it's our body or our brain, because that does factor in.

00:26:43.100 And the reality of it is our brain prefers because our brain is already the organ that takes the most

00:26:48.580 caloric energy of our, our body's needs go to our brain. First and foremost, autopilot conserves energy.

00:26:55.220 That's why I'm so hungry all the time.

00:26:56.720 Oh, there you go. Probably, probably.

00:26:58.560 A little backhanded comments myself.

00:27:01.180 But no, it's, it's effortful. It's effortful. It's, it's intentional. It's like I said,

00:27:05.000 it's, it takes caloric energy. And I like something else you said, Andy, because when we are mindless

00:27:10.020 about something, even if so to speak, to your point, your clients are just doing the thing,

00:27:13.020 checking the boxes. I don't believe that anything is more impactful than the lived experience. And when we

00:27:18.720 are again, not present to ourselves, we are doing our own self a disservice. Change happens when we give

00:27:24.240 ourself a new lived experience. And we're not living, we're not fully in our bodies. We're not

00:27:29.100 fully in the experience. We are, we are quite literally somewhere else lost in our minds onto

00:27:34.340 the next, worrying about the next three check boxes on my to-do list. And we're not showing up as fully

00:27:39.740 presently to have that full embodiment of the lived experience. And that's what I believe where change

00:27:44.680 happens.

00:27:45.340 I love that. There's a book about that. I think, uh, uh, I read like in 2007, I think it's eight

00:27:52.300 living in the now, I think the name of the book is.

00:27:56.380 I don't know if I've read that title, but yeah.

00:27:58.660 So, uh, as you guys were talking, this is what I thought of and just selfishly, I want to share

00:28:03.160 this quick story.

00:28:03.800 And by the way, just cause I read the book doesn't mean I'm good at it.

00:28:06.720 It's a skill. I mean, that's something I will say a million times over because a lot of people get

00:28:11.800 frustrated and a lot of people think I'm not doing it right, or I don't have it, or this won't work

00:28:16.140 for me. It's a skill. It's a practice. And it's honestly, I think it's a lifetime of cultivating it.

00:28:20.740 For sure.

00:28:21.240 Yeah. No. So, um, when you were talking, I was thinking about just with the issue of being mindful

00:28:26.060 and being present and being conscious of, of what we're doing. Uh, when my dad was alive, he was a

00:28:31.180 really amazing pianist and, uh, people used to like him because not only was he technically

00:28:35.760 proficient, but he really just had a passion for what he was playing. And we went to see a,

00:28:40.420 we went to a recital one time and I was, you know, I was a little boy. I was like fourth or fifth grade

00:28:44.140 and this woman was playing the piano and I couldn't figure out why I didn't enjoy it. Um, cause you 0.68

00:28:50.640 know, objectively it was, you know, she was talented at what she was doing. And when we walked out, I said

00:28:55.040 to my dad, I said, dad, I didn't like it. And I couldn't figure out why. And he said, and I always

00:28:59.880 remember this. Um, and I don't know, my dad might've gotten it from somebody else who knows

00:29:03.580 when I give credit where credit is due, but he said, she's hitting the notes, but she's not 0.59

00:29:08.720 playing the music. And, uh, and I always thought of that, like that, that's the two ways we can live

00:29:14.320 life, right? We can just hit the notes. Like Andy's saying, you know, go through all the, you know,

00:29:19.620 step one, step two, step three in sales, or you can be actually invested in what you're doing and

00:29:24.700 mindful of what you're doing. And what, what you just, that analogy that you just gave is exactly

00:29:30.140 why most of the people listening right now are struggling. They are doing that one, two, three,

00:29:36.440 but they are not doing the one, two, three, right. They're hitting the piano keys, but their soul

00:29:42.780 isn't in it. Right. You know? And people discount that because a lot of entrepreneurs are type A's

00:29:47.980 and they don't believe like, dude, like I used to believe they don't believe in like this mystical 0.99

00:29:52.500 shit. Like they hear it and they're like, fuck that. That ain't for me. That's for, 1.00

00:29:56.140 that's for those goofy dudes. And, and that's why that's, that's a really huge motivating factor 0.58

00:30:01.960 of why I wanted to have you on the show, because I don't think people understand how big of a part

00:30:08.920 of my life, those kinds of things are. And, and I'm, I'm kind of like the ultimate, like that guy

00:30:14.060 that I'm describing. Right. But guys, you have to understand that this is real stuff and it's

00:30:19.060 important when I make fun of it, I'm making fun of the dudes out there. They're just

00:30:22.480 talking about it and not putting it into practice. Cause it's real easy to type up a meme and say

00:30:27.520 some buzzword shit about self-love. It's another thing to go out and practice self-love by putting 0.96

00:30:33.700 yourself through a whole bunch of shit. That's going to make you stronger. Right. Right. And, 0.99

00:30:38.560 and so I just, I want you guys to know, and this is just me letting you know that like,

00:30:43.700 this is real. This is not like a fluffy. Cause I know, cause I know how I would think about this

00:30:50.300 when I was 25, you know what I mean? And I would think like, that sounds like bullshit. 0.99

00:30:55.340 Yeah. But I'm telling you, it's not bullshit. 0.99

00:30:57.580 So in light of this whole broad topic of mindfulness and consciousness, um, so the vast

00:31:03.780 majority of our listeners are entrepreneurs or people who just want to make the most of

00:31:07.720 their life, you know, type a driven, a lot of ambition. If a person like that came to you

00:31:14.580 stuck, I mean, walk us through like the basic tools that you're, you're going to teach them.

00:31:21.040 Yeah, absolutely. So, and like I said earlier, I hear the word stuck all the time and it definitely

00:31:26.020 applies in business. You know, when we're trying to succeed, the reason why we're stuck is because

00:31:31.240 of something that's going on in our subconscious. So first tool, first and foremost, I teach you how

00:31:36.200 to meditate specifically because I think of meditation. I think we all hear the word meditation.

00:31:42.560 Maybe we've tried it. There's a million different types of meditation. I use meditation. I call it as

00:31:46.860 an arena to develop a mental exercise, specifically aimed at changing our relationship with our

00:31:52.440 thoughts, at learning how to observe the reality that we have thoughts endlessly all day long. And

00:31:58.100 that usually is why we're stuck. So what most of us think, or a lot of us think, put it that way,

00:32:03.680 we think, let's put it really simply, we think things happen out there. So stimulus happens,

00:32:08.780 event happens, world happens. We catch wind of the feeling that that kind of, you know, kind of

00:32:14.340 triggers, if you will, in us. And then we see our reaction. What really happens is thing in the world

00:32:20.720 happens, you know, outside stimulus occurs. Mentally, internally, we make an interpretation or a

00:32:27.800 meaning that we assign to what happened in the world. Usually this is where our past comes to play.

00:32:33.100 The meanings, the interpretations are a lot based on the past experiences that we lived,

00:32:38.220 oftentimes not the positive ones, right? Then we have that feeling and then we have that reaction.

00:32:43.260 So the reason I teach meditation is we need to be able to internally observe ourselves to first and

00:32:49.760 foremost, understand that we are playing a role. That puts us now on the map, right? So now I'm not

00:32:54.360 reactive to the world that's happening around me. And a lot of times that does lead to people

00:32:59.060 understandably feeling like a victim of circumstance. Oh, the world happened, this, that,

00:33:02.760 the other thing. And now I can't, you know, X, Y, or Z. I'm prevented. I'm stuck. I'm not succeeding

00:33:06.900 in business because this happened. When we come online and when we practice that self-observation,

00:33:12.560 now we get to see the role that we played. We assigned a meaning, our subconscious assigned a

00:33:17.500 meaning. Now we have the tools to change. So first and foremost, we have to learn how to observe ourself,

00:33:23.880 usually through a meditation practice. Then we have to practice that self-observation or that

00:33:28.160 consciousness all day long so that I can understand. So if I'm not succeeding in business,

00:33:33.720 likely there's an internal narrative that's keeping me from succeeding or from being stuck.

00:33:39.120 I'm not really general, very kind of prolific ones. I hear I'm not good enough. I'm not this. I'm not

00:33:45.200 that. I won't, whatever it is. So now that is where we do the work. First and foremost, we separate

00:33:51.140 ourselves from that narrative because it's not helping. And quite honestly, it usually no longer applies

00:33:57.120 to us. And it might not even have been our thoughts that originated it. A lot of the stuff,

00:34:02.300 a lot of the meanings, a lot of the interpretations that we're relying on that are dictating our daily

00:34:06.940 choices are based in time and a place from so long ago, past experiences, things we've heard,

00:34:13.640 things we've been made to feel.

00:34:15.220 Things we might not even remember.

00:34:16.400 Things we might not even remember. And that's a large reason why. So I work with very successful

00:34:21.800 people, but who will come up against blocks professionally included because they have

00:34:26.760 some version of a, I'm not good enough narrative, which then dictates, right? That emotion that they

00:34:32.720 have. And then that reaction that they put out or the behavior that they put out into the world.

00:34:38.120 So until we can get out of that and give ourself a chance at shifting set and making a new choice,

00:34:43.980 we're going to keep repeating those patterns.

00:34:45.700 Do you put a priority on helping them discover what caused the bad narrative? Or is your attitude,

00:34:52.020 I don't care what caused it, we're just going to fix, we're going to train people to...

00:34:55.780 Are those kind of two, one and the same thing though?

00:34:58.680 Well, no. In other words, what I'm saying is, is that do you try to walk people through to where

00:35:02.900 you try to jar, not jar, but jog memories of, oh, my mom told me such and such? Or would you say

00:35:10.300 that's not as important as much as you recognize that you're buying into this false narrative and

00:35:16.560 that you transform it? In other words, you know what I'm saying?

00:35:19.400 Doesn't that depend on the kind of person you're working with though? Like certain people, I don't

00:35:23.680 know, maybe, fuck, I don't know, just answer it. Like I'm confused here because like for me, 0.99

00:35:28.620 like I have to know why the fuck I'm doing something for me to change it. Like I have to, 0.66

00:35:33.240 and like, and I don't like being told things.

00:35:36.280 Right. I like seeds being planted and then me discovering it. Right. You know what I mean?

00:35:40.640 Well, as a point of reference. Does that make sense?

00:35:42.540 Yeah, it makes total sense. So what I'm, what I'm trying to think about here is like,

00:35:45.860 is there two kinds of people, like people that don't need to know and they just fix?

00:35:50.840 Is there? Well, no, I think...

00:35:52.160 The point of reference I was going to say real quick was just like, I know, for instance,

00:35:55.060 because I know of a lot of people who've been involved in 12-step programs. And I know a big,

00:35:58.680 big thing about 12-step programs is don't try to overanalyze why you're addicted to something,

00:36:03.620 just change your habits. So that's kind of what motivated that question.

00:36:08.000 Yeah, no, it's a really good question. I've actually thought about it, you know,

00:36:10.580 for some time. And I think that it can really be helpful because I think a lot of us carry shame

00:36:15.160 and we own these narratives and we think they're ours. So to speak to the points I think that we're

00:36:19.740 all making, understanding where they come from, I think, and not only, and I think to speak to your

00:36:24.000 point, Andy, yes, a lot of people understanding a why, you know, can be really empowering. I've said for a

00:36:30.200 long time that awareness is a very key component of change. So if I can understand the trajectory of

00:36:34.780 my story in a new way, I think that that does compel people into that next step, which is then

00:36:40.240 always, I think, the point we made earlier, action. Now I need to change now that I know.

00:36:44.540 And some people I do think very much need to know or very much want to know. I also think,

00:36:50.200 like I was saying, there's a shame component of it too. And understanding that this maybe wasn't

00:36:54.220 mine to begin with can be really helpful. So like I referenced earlier, I came from a family of just

00:37:00.520 self-limiting belief after self-limiting belief. And when I saw myself operating from that reactional

00:37:06.000 point, you know, if I didn't understand, you know, how I came by that, I hear people call themselves,

00:37:12.000 and I think this is really unfortunate, they call themselves, you know, they'll make the sweeping

00:37:15.680 statement like, oh, I'm just not meant to be. I'm lazy. I'm undisciplined. I'm this, I'm that, I'm the other

00:37:19.680 thing. Man, I noticed that more and more. And I think that's really, anytime you say that I am

00:37:24.780 something, you're setting yourself up to continue that limitation because you carry it yourself.

00:37:28.900 Dude, I had a guy this morning, just the meeting I was in while you were watching, that meeting you

00:37:32.560 watched me do, right? When you walked in, I had a guy say, a guy that I fucking love, like a brother,

00:37:39.600 say, I'm just not a good leader. And I said, no, I said, that's not, I said, that's not true. You're 0.87

00:37:47.140 making an identity now. I said, you're not, that's not true. You made decisions that have created a

00:37:53.540 situation that have produced a result that make it appear that you're not a good leader, but you are 1.00

00:38:00.980 a good leader or you wouldn't be sitting in this fucking room, bro. You know what I mean? Yeah, 0.99

00:38:05.480 100%. Right. And that's where people get into it, right? That's where it starts. Yes. And then

00:38:09.940 fucking, that's how you end up, that's how these motherfuckers that you see, you know, like today you see 1.00

00:38:15.480 them and they're fucking millionaires, they got all this shit together. And then three years from 1.00

00:38:18.540 now they're, they're, they're broke and all this bad shit happened. It started with some statement 0.99

00:38:22.540 like that. Yeah. Yeah, no. And very slippery hill. It is. And I think that can be really,

00:38:27.760 really debilitating. I mean, you set your back yourself up in a corner. If that's who you are,

00:38:31.220 you are very limited then in changing, but you know, a lot of times, and this is what I used to do

00:38:35.560 all the time. And I'm the first one to admit it. I then would look at others who had a different

00:38:39.540 life that obviously looked more successful than myself. And I made myself different. Oh, they have

00:38:43.940 something I don't have because I am this and they are that. And I think it really does come down to

00:38:48.860 making the choice to overcome your mind and those limiting beliefs. We all have that ability,

00:38:54.240 but I'm the first one to say, I, I endorsed every one of my self-limiting beliefs. I owned it. And

00:38:59.620 when I saw people that were succeeding in my mind, unconsciously, subconsciously, my mind says,

00:39:04.540 okay, they are different because genetically or this or that. Right. So now I am just compromised,

00:39:09.840 you know, whether it's at my genetic. Now you just won the shitty part of the lottery. 0.99

00:39:13.980 Exactly. So now I can't change, but I really truly believe. And so with consciousness comes choice. 0.95

00:39:20.480 So I can now make a new choice. And I think, and this is why I'm so big on habit development and,

00:39:26.260 you know, doing things that are uncomfortable. I know with the cold showers and all, whatever it is,

00:39:30.260 I, I break that down to overcoming your mind, doing something, despite your mind saying not to for

00:39:36.320 all, and my mind every morning says not to do everything that I do every day. And I'm always

00:39:40.580 the first one to explain it.

00:39:41.380 Matt says don't get out of bed.

00:39:42.560 Yeah. Oh, I either shouldn't get out of bed because I didn't sleep well and I'm tired and

00:39:46.320 clearly, or I'm so comfortable. My bed is the best place on earth. Why the hell would I, I mean,

00:39:50.780 and so I explain this to people and I share this and I disclose this because I think I don't want

00:39:55.200 people to look at me and say, Oh, she has something I don't. She has a cheerleading squad or she just 0.97

00:40:00.320 has this desire and discipline. I am, I have the most undisciplined mind there is, but I overcome it every day.

00:40:05.940 I make a choice from consciousness every day because I know what my life looks like when I

00:40:10.680 do these things consistently. And I know what my life and, and I sure as hell do. I've spent a lot

00:40:15.520 of time not consistent on my habits. I have a whole sample of evidence of what my life looks like when

00:40:19.800 I don't do these things. So I am not different. None of us are different. It's just overcoming your

00:40:24.520 mind. So yes, when we label things like I am this now I've, I can't do anything. I've just like

00:40:29.600 stuck myself. So the first step to, to, to discovering this dude, first of all, I love,

00:40:34.900 I love you for saying that because I, I really try to share when I'm struggling with people

00:40:42.520 because I want, I, I do, I do, and you recognize this or you wouldn't do that. You recognize that

00:40:50.380 you're, you're hurting people when you pretend like you've got some sort of skill and like

00:40:54.760 that is ultimate awareness. Like when I, when, you know, when these other entrepreneur dudes

00:40:59.920 pretend like they got these superpowers and they work 75 hours out of 24 hours and I 1.00

00:41:04.920 fucking love this shit. Yeah. And they love it. Fuck out of here, dude. You're full of 1.00

00:41:08.800 shit. You're insecure. You need to tell the truth because you're, what they're doing is 1.00

00:41:14.120 telling these younger kids if they don't, if, if they can't, nobody can work like that 1.00

00:41:19.300 motherfuckers. Like that's a fact. Like I'm the toughest dude there is when it comes to 1.00

00:41:24.220 that shit. And I, I, I, I, I spend my, I mean, maybe not the toughest, but I'm fucking 0.99

00:41:29.420 up there, you know? And like, I spend, I spend my whole entire day putting out fires of not

00:41:35.180 one company, seven companies. Okay. You see it. You see it like, dude, it's hard. It's

00:41:42.780 hard as fuck for me, dude. So I know it's hard for you. You know what I mean? Like I just, 0.99

00:41:48.480 that's a pet peeve of mine when people do that shit, because like, I know what it feels 0.99

00:41:52.260 like to be 19 years old and have nothing and be scared shitless and believe that I 1.00

00:41:59.180 don't have what it takes. And then I see somebody out there saying, well, I got this

00:42:04.040 and I'm this and I'm that. And I'm, I'm so, and I'm like, fuck dude, I really don't 0.99

00:42:07.920 have it. That's bad, man. It's not a good thing. Especially when they add, I did it in 0.99

00:42:12.600 three years and you can too. So that when those people actually don't do it in three

00:42:16.420 years. Now they're a real big failure. Yeah. And now they beat themselves up, but

00:42:20.220 that's another story. Coming aware is the biggest part of it. And I think, I think

00:42:25.960 that's the hardest part. I think the very first step is like learning how to be aware. Like

00:42:32.540 the more awareness that I've been able to, to cultivate in myself, the more I realize how

00:42:38.640 unaware other people are. Yes. Yeah. Well, you're, yeah, you're just starting byproduct of,

00:42:44.520 of waking up and consciousness. There's a lot of discomfort, whether it's within ourselves

00:42:48.720 or within the behaviors and our relationships, the people that we're seeing. But I wanted

00:42:53.180 to just go back to, cause you're saying something else that's really important, Andy, which is

00:42:55.980 that a lot of times that kind of outward projection of who I am comes from, again, a very early learned

00:43:02.100 place. And when we're kids, we are given messages of all sorts, direct, indirect about, I'm really

00:43:06.920 simplifying things about what's okay and what's good, if you will, and what's not okay.

00:43:10.320 And what's bad, right? We get programmed. So we learn to sanction off sides of ourselves

00:43:14.960 that aren't good, that are shameful, that I can't tell the world about. And that's how

00:43:20.260 I actually define ego. Ego is this outward projection that I've assumed time and time

00:43:26.000 again, because it got me love as a child. It got me a validation. It got me to be a good

00:43:31.840 girl or boy, if you will. Right. So part of it too, is acknowledging for ourselves that we

00:43:37.180 are actually all of it. We are the light, the dark, the good, the bad. I can have thoughts

00:43:41.160 that are terrible. I can do things that are lazy one day and not the other day. And I

00:43:44.980 think another, you know, it doesn't mean you're lazy and it doesn't mean that, but I think we

00:43:48.540 get trained that we have to only have this part of ourself. That's okay. You know, to put

00:43:54.220 it really simply, and that's in the self that we continue to show into the world. Meanwhile,

00:43:58.140 there's a whole lot of other self behind the scenes that I'm so shameful of. And I can't

00:44:02.720 show the world because of messaging that I do believe originates in childhood, in our

00:44:07.540 caregiving environments, in our school systems. And the list really does go on. But I think

00:44:11.900 when, when you are being honest and yourself and myself, and part of healing is being honest

00:44:16.540 about, we are all of it all at once sometimes. And there are parts of ourselves. All of us

00:44:21.220 are all of it. Absolutely. All of you, all of us here, every human, this is humanity we're

00:44:26.860 talking about. We all have things that we think are bad or that we're not proud of.

00:44:33.280 And we really don't know why, which creates the anxiety, right? Cause now we don't know

00:44:38.660 why we feel that way. And we think we're fucked up. And the truth of it is, is we're not fucked 0.99

00:44:43.660 up. Everybody else just fucked up, but nobody talks about it. You know, and that's even like 0.99

00:44:48.420 the, that's like the tragic part about it is like, we all have that shit. It's just how 1.00

00:44:54.260 good are you at fucking pretending like you don't. Yeah. And that's what's rewarded in 1.00

00:44:58.000 society. Because now if you're fucked up at all in society, if you do any mistake, what 0.98

00:45:04.200 happens? You're blackballed. Oh, from everybody. You tweeted when you were a seventh grader or 0.99

00:45:09.280 something offensive. Yeah. Or are you fucking, you know, you're like these, like, it's just

00:45:14.940 ridiculous. Like the price that some of these people are paying for human behavior in the 1.00

00:45:20.120 media is insane. Like, and so now that's even making it worse. Cause now people are

00:45:25.600 like, fuck, nobody could know that. I thought about that. Or I thought that joke was funny 1.00

00:45:29.860 or I thought this was that or this or that. Like, because if they do, I fucking, I'm fucking 0.99

00:45:35.580 over, you know? And so that only compounds the issue, you know? And we're all human, man. 0.99

00:45:42.760 Right. I love it. How do you get somebody? Oh man. How do you get somebody? This is something

00:45:48.400 I've always been curious about because I can't really, awareness is a constant journey, I

00:45:55.560 think. Right. Like you're, you're always developing, like it's a skill, right? So it's getting better

00:46:00.720 and better and better and you're getting better, but it gets, it does get to a point where you're,

00:46:05.220 you're like hyper aware and it stops serving you. Almost for me, it does. Cause I get paranoid.

00:46:10.180 I'm like, like I over, like you, cause you and I discussed this. Like, dude, I get this thing

00:46:14.820 where it's like, I start worrying so much. Like, dude, what I like, and I'm not talking

00:46:21.160 about on my podcast. Cause obviously I don't worry about what I put. I try to put out what

00:46:25.820 I think is true, but you know, when I have a conversation with someone and then like, 0.97

00:46:30.200 I'm analyzing the conversation for seven hours afterwards, wondering if I said every fucking 0.96

00:46:35.420 thing the right way. And if they took it like this or that, you know, because dude, these, 0.95

00:46:39.460 these people, I care about these people. Right. And like, I don't want to hurt them. I want

00:46:42.740 them to develop. I want them to be the best people. How do you, this is a two part question.

00:46:47.900 One, how do you get someone to start becoming aware? And two, what happens when they become

00:46:55.360 too aware? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So awareness starts, like I said, with learning

00:47:00.580 how to observe ourself, understanding the role we're playing, understand the role that our thoughts

00:47:04.440 are playing, having that little, I call it our observational kind of, you know, spotlight in our

00:47:08.960 mind that is putting us on, on the map. Like we are playing a role in this, but I agree with you.

00:47:13.640 And there's a, there's a limit to that because awareness, right. And observation, you know,

00:47:18.600 is part of our mind. So anytime we are watching ourself or anytime we are con sub or hyper

00:47:23.060 conscious to use your exact language to ourself, we are that much more out of our moment then.

00:47:27.800 So I think awareness is really pivotal, you know, in our moments, but then once that moment is over,

00:47:33.580 you know, if we do carry that on, of course we can have a little bit of a post cap, you know,

00:47:37.700 sometimes, especially if a moment was emotional, a post cap is very helpful. Once our emotional

00:47:42.480 brain dies down, I have access to now that observational part of my frontal lobe. So I

00:47:47.360 can see what part did I play, but then there's a limit because the more we carry it in our minds,

00:47:52.320 the more we're removing our, not only that, but we're removing ourself from our moment. So I don't

00:47:55.860 know what, what might've happened for you over those past seven hours, but I assure you, you weren't

00:48:00.020 fully present for it. It's like whenever, it's like whenever you, you know, it's, it's like you catch

00:48:05.520 yourself daydreaming when you're driving and all of a sudden you're seven miles down the road.

00:48:09.620 Right. You're like, how the fuck did I get here? Yeah. Well, and again, a lot of us cause not to 0.98

00:48:13.160 say the most cliche thing in the world that I'm sure all the listeners have heard, but our mind is

00:48:17.120 what causes us the suffering. So we could be in the most peaceful moment, you know, an hour after a

00:48:21.500 pretty difficult conversation with someone that we're coloring with stress and anxiety, even debilitating

00:48:26.720 stress and anxiety because we're still reliving it in our mind. So our moments are so, and I tell people

00:48:32.220 this all the time, the more you just become present to what's happening in front of you,

00:48:36.520 the more you're going to be aware of all of the peaceful moments you have in your day that you are

00:48:42.360 coloring with your mind. And sometimes, and it's so sad when I work with people, sometimes the things

00:48:48.320 that we're reliving are, are years ago. And now not only are we carrying an event, we're turning it

00:48:54.280 into a mood state. We're making it our character now. I mean, we are really extending, not to say that

00:49:00.360 these aren't, I will never invalidate, you know, the difficult things that we've been through,

00:49:04.120 but we just saddle them up and saddle them up and then live them for, I mean, for some of the

00:49:09.860 eternity. It's like making a shitty mixtape and throwing it on 24 hours. Yes. Yeah. So there's a, 0.81

00:49:15.700 yeah, there's a balance. Young motherfuckers don't even know what a mixtape is. Yeah. Right. Yeah. 1.00

00:49:18.980 I definitely have had my share of mixtape, but it's a balance between when, when my mind is helpful

00:49:23.020 and when my mind is not helpful and when I need to get out of my mind and just show up for whatever is in

00:49:27.780 front of me. And that's just another level of awareness to be able to recognize when you're

00:49:32.000 doing that. Ever since our conversation a few weeks ago, dude, I was having a rough time, man. And I

00:49:36.680 text Nicole and I said, Hey, I know I'm not on your client list, but today I'm gonna be your client.

00:49:42.820 And, uh, and you know, we had a little conversation and, uh, it was very helpful. And I, I, that has

00:49:48.540 helped me over the last couple of weeks. I'm so happy. Yeah. Because you gotta, cause I would say that's

00:49:53.520 where I'm at. Like I'm in that position. I'm in that place of like feeling overwhelmed. And,

00:49:59.220 and I think I do it to myself, you know? Um, it's, and as I've progressed as an entrepreneur,

00:50:10.740 I still feel like I haven't proven myself as an entrepreneur. So I've had this weird thing where

00:50:17.940 like I don't realize the weight of my own fucking language. Do you see what I'm saying? And so I've 0.98

00:50:24.100 said things to people that I shouldn't say and are unnecessary to say, to get the point across.

00:50:32.620 And it comes across abnormally harsh. Does that make sense? Because I'm feeling like I'm still

00:50:38.380 having to prove that I know what the fuck I'm doing. When in reality, all these people here, 0.95

00:50:43.180 they trust that I know what I'm doing and I don't need to be like that. So I'm like going through

00:50:47.120 this new transition phase. Well, no, you're illustrating. I say this all the time. I mean,

00:50:51.240 it's more, I mean, whether what the person is saying to me, so someone speaks to me,

00:50:56.140 it's more about them than me. Right. When I carry something away, it's more about me than them.

00:51:00.180 I mean, really we have to understand the limits, you know, that we, that we're having not only the

00:51:04.840 limits of control. I can't control, you know, what anyone else says or does. That's a hard place

00:51:08.980 for us humans to be. I don't like not to be able to control. I don't like to feel powerless. You know,

00:51:13.320 I want you to get better. And I understand that. But, and I, I have this all the time in my

00:51:17.540 practice. I understand the limits of what I can do to impact someone else's get better. And that's

00:51:22.320 a hard, powerless place to be. That's where I'm at. So like, I care so much about my team here and

00:51:30.900 who I employ and our customers and our legionnaires and our people, like everybody, our athletes,

00:51:36.540 like, and I have that for all, I have those kinds of people for all these different companies.

00:51:40.080 And I'm just like pouring myself into them, you know, and then I see them do nothing.

00:51:47.400 And I take responsibility for that. And I can't do that.

00:51:51.400 That when I, when we spoke the other day, I offered that because I, I think I truly believe

00:51:55.760 that being powerless and not feeling like we have control and likely this probably does come

00:52:00.820 from back in childhood when we didn't have control. It's really intolerable for humans,

00:52:04.580 especially humans who care, especially humans who want to see other humans succeed and are showing

00:52:09.220 up to equip them with the tools to succeed. And people confuse that. They say, dude,

00:52:13.360 you're a control freak. It's not that I'm a control freak. I just want, I, I, I see what

00:52:17.600 it takes to win and I want you to win and I want you to win. I want you to win. You know what I'm

00:52:23.300 saying? Like I see it, I see the path that they don't see. And so they don't go on it. And then I

00:52:29.940 fucking feel like I didn't do a good job putting them on the path. 0.98

00:52:32.980 Yep. And then it all comes back to that because I have, I've had to sit in a lot of moments where, 0.98

00:52:37.900 you know, people I work with on me, perfect lens did not get better in that old practice,

00:52:41.940 in that old world, people did not get better that I worked with. But I had to understand that

00:52:46.220 when I went home at night and when I terminate treatment with them or whatever it was that

00:52:49.660 it was not on me, you know, I did not, I did not not make them better. I cannot make them better.

00:52:55.080 So once I understand that truth and once I internalize that I cannot make someone get better

00:52:59.200 and I cannot make someone get worse, then I can sit a little more comfortably that I've put the

00:53:03.800 information out there and then there was my limit. And so they didn't get better. And I don't have

00:53:07.620 to feel like I was less than as a person, as a therapist, as whatever. Because that's what it

00:53:11.360 does. It makes you feel less than. It makes you feel like you're not good at what the fuck you do.

00:53:14.840 Not good enough. Like, dude, I'm sitting here with very cool businesses. You know, I don't feel 0.99

00:53:21.940 successful. I got the number one podcast in the fucking world, dude, in our category. I don't feel like 0.98

00:53:28.100 we're winning at that. You know what I mean? Because I'm not putting my winning in the ranking.

00:53:31.740 I'm putting my winning in the results that our people are getting. You know what I mean?

00:53:36.260 So it's like you got at some point, man, you got to let some of that go as a leader.

00:53:42.580 Otherwise you'll go insane. Yeah. I think we all have to find, we all have to find the good enough

00:53:47.680 in ourselves, separate from what the world shows up. Meaning I, and we start this again at a very

00:53:52.980 young developmental age. It's very natural to look outside of ourselves to see how we're doing.

00:53:56.520 In Christ, that's what school is, right? You get grades, you get rankings. We're taught

00:53:59.680 that the world gives me feedback, right? And that's how I know where I fit or kind of where

00:54:04.440 I rank or how good I am. I think our ultimate goal as humans is to evolve that the world's

00:54:10.380 going to show up and it's going to show me some shit and it's going to show me some shit 1.00

00:54:12.840 I'm good at. It's going to show me some shit I'm not good at. And ultimately I just have 1.00

00:54:16.360 to be confident and secure and good enough in myself that I'm okay, to put it really simply,

00:54:21.980 no matter what, what happens because I can't, I can't ride the wave of life because sometimes

00:54:26.820 you're going to have the really successful clients and sometimes you're not going to

00:54:29.700 have the really successful clients. And if I wore that as a reflection of me, I would

00:54:34.180 be on a rollercoaster of crazy all the time and continuously feeling less than. So until

00:54:38.920 I, until I'm good enough, however, you know, people are showing me validation or not, then

00:54:44.660 I'm going to, I'm going to be subject to that. I think that that fluctuation and it's just

00:54:48.880 not going to be good for me. Talk about having peace. I need to have peace in my stability

00:54:53.160 as who I am and how I show up.

00:54:55.320 How, how do you help someone in a situation like that? Like, you know, cause that I hear

00:55:02.080 you talking, I'm like, fuck dude, that's me. Like that is me. Like what's me is, is it doesn't 0.99

00:55:06.600 matter how many people tell me like, oh dude, I'm so proud of you or how much money I make 0.97

00:55:11.960 or like all the fucking external factors that say I'm doing the right shit are there. All of 0.93

00:55:17.980 them. Every single one, every single one. My fitness is there. My fucking money's there.

00:55:23.760 My relationships are there. My friendships are there for what I choose. I don't like 1.00

00:55:29.440 to have a lot of friends. I like to have a very tight circle cause I don't like drama.

00:55:33.740 Me too.

00:55:34.240 Yeah. So like, I just, I, I feel like most humans are drama and I don't like it. So I

00:55:39.420 keep my circle real small. That's it. It's simple. It doesn't mean I don't like people.

00:55:42.900 I say, I say it as I don't like people or like, I don't really fucking like people, 0.89

00:55:47.240 but that's what the truth is. I don't like the shit that comes with them. Cause everybody 1.00

00:55:51.020 wants to unload their shit on me just like they do you. Right. I bet everybody wants 1.00

00:55:56.540 to come talk to you. You know, it's fucking exhausting, man. How do you limit that? 0.99

00:56:02.260 It's hard. I mean, I get, I get all different types of requests and help and email life stories.

00:56:06.980 Probably gotten good at saying no.

00:56:08.100 Well, it wasn't easy. Honestly, I struggled with boundaries. I come from a very enmeshed

00:56:12.480 meaning boundary list family. So no was very hard for me, but honestly, starting no's in

00:56:17.660 my professional life allowed me to adapt no's more in my personal life because through an email and

00:56:22.480 be perfectly honest, it's much easier to say no, shut my computer and run away, you know,

00:56:26.500 and not have to look at it for a while and you know, likely not hear back from that person.

00:56:30.000 That's preferable. Um, but I, I, I learned, you know, to put up boundaries little by little,

00:56:34.720 but it's hard. I had, I had feel bads all the time. Oh my gosh, this person just told me their

00:56:38.240 whole life story, you know, knowing that I can't do therapy over, over email. But yeah,

00:56:43.200 it was really, it was really hard to, to shift that and to, to say no. But to speak to your point,

00:56:47.540 I think I heard a question in there, Andy, how do I, how do I, you know, stop doing that?

00:56:51.520 You first and foremost, we all have to be aware consciousness again, how often am I endorsing

00:56:56.700 a not good enough belief throughout my day? And the first step of change is get the hell out of that.

00:57:01.080 If I ever, if my client doesn't do well and I even for one second say, Oh, it was me that they,

00:57:06.100 I didn't do enough. Get the hell out of that. Get your attention away from that. Don't feed that. 0.99

00:57:10.320 Our attention is our most valuable asset and resource. Do not feed because likely there might

00:57:15.820 be something that you're kind of on repeat telling yourself. So the first step of, of feeling good

00:57:20.580 enough for your own self and internalizing good enough is stop telling yourself that that was a

00:57:25.180 reflection on you. Okay. So bear with me. Cause I think this is really relevant and I'm, I'm hoping

00:57:31.160 that I have the, the ability to explain what I'm trying to think here. Um, so Andy talks about being

00:57:36.720 frustrated cause he wants so badly to, to motivate people to win. He wants them to win, knows that

00:57:41.260 they can win. I want to motivate when it's winning is very simple. Right. Right. Simple. Right. But my

00:57:47.460 point is, is that there's that frustration and there's that, that one is so badly. Yeah. All right.

00:57:54.360 You got a fucking horse. All right. And that motherfucker is like completely dehydrated and 1.00

00:58:01.060 starving. Looks like a fucking skeleton. We've all seen like a horse like that, right? Or an animal 1.00

00:58:06.120 where it's just, it's minutes away from death, which if you ask anybody out there, that's where they

00:58:11.840 are. Where are you? Oh my God, I'm not making any money. How much money are you making? I'm making a

00:58:17.880 hundred grand. Well, you're not, not making money, bro. Like you're not starving, but everybody thinks

00:58:24.120 they are. Right. And then you got like Lake Michigan. All right. And Lake Michigan is right

00:58:30.400 there. And then you also have this fucking unlimited amount of like whatever horses eat. What the 0.98

00:58:36.620 fuck do they eat? Oh, grass. All right. You've got Kansas. Okay. And then you've got Lake Michigan 1.00

00:58:43.740 and they're right next to each other. And you got this horse, Mr. Ed, that's talking to you.

00:58:48.420 And Mr. Ed is saying, Hey Andy, I'm fucking really hungry right now. And you know what, 0.85

00:58:55.400 Andy? There's a talent there for some horse, Mr. Ed. I'm also, uh, Andy, I'm also really

00:59:02.360 fucking thirsty. Right. That's what, that's what I hear. This is what I hear from you guys. 0.90

00:59:09.100 Well, motherfucker there is Lake Michigan right there. And then there's Kansas and they are 1.00

00:59:13.080 right next to each other. Right. But Andy, I'm fucking starving. I'm so thirsty. You know?

00:59:18.560 And I'm like sitting there thinking like, Mr. Ed, here it is. So then Mr. Ed dies and

00:59:26.940 I'm sitting there looking at this dead Mr. Ed and he can still talk. Right. Right. Even

00:59:31.980 though he's dead. And he's like, Andy, I fucking died. Cause it's your fault. All right. That's 0.99

00:59:37.740 what I think. Right. And then I go away and I go home and I'm like, Emily, guess what?

00:59:42.900 Fucking Mr. Ed died. It's my fault. You know what I'm saying? And then I feel bad. And then 1.00

00:59:49.280 I'm like, what did I not do? Like, why didn't Mr. Ed, you know? And that's how I, that's,

00:59:54.340 that's what this is. Right. But, but, and I, that makes a lot of sense, but this kind of

00:59:59.200 is going the direction that I know it's going the direction that, that, so there is still

01:00:05.720 an element of you feeling responsible and you feeling like you need to control that.

01:00:09.960 And with me and my life, it's kind of different. We have different personalities. Whereas I

01:00:14.020 struggle with, I, sometimes I struggle with if I'm really who I want to be, people are

01:00:20.280 going to misunderstand that. And I, I was just, you know, we were, we were misunderstanding

01:00:24.080 or we were talking about, um, we mentioned Taylor earlier, uh, uh, holistic bliss on, on

01:00:29.520 Instagram, but she was talking, she, she used a phrase the other day. I was like, oh my gosh,

01:00:33.040 this is really stuck in my head. It's been so helpful. She said, you are not responsible

01:00:37.540 for managing the emotional experiences of other people. And I was just like, holy cow.

01:00:42.000 Unless you're in business.

01:00:43.020 Well, right. But see, that's what I was thinking because I think that's applies to him in different

01:00:46.780 ways. It applies to me. And I feel like this whole idea of it, to me, it does tie into living

01:00:52.260 consciously because it's part of living consciously is what can I control and what can't I control?

01:00:58.440 And coming to a point where you realize I can do all, I mean, my boss is very results oriented.

01:01:04.760 Okay. I mean that in a positive way. You are, you're very results oriented, but people don't

01:01:09.060 always, you can pour into them and they're not always going to get, you know, the results that

01:01:13.000 you want. And I mean, for me, I'm the same way in a different, in a different facet of my life

01:01:16.940 that I feel like, man, you know, if I do this and they respond this way, what am I going to do

01:01:22.440 about that? It's not my business, how they respond. My business is to do the right thing and to be

01:01:27.900 myself. And if they respond, I can't control that. And so I guess what I'm saying is like,

01:01:32.520 as that applies to entrepreneurship, whether it's leadership or customers or whatever, or just,

01:01:38.260 or just living our best lives, like your first step was teaching the meditation, you know,

01:01:43.120 getting your mindful. So what's your next step in terms of dealing with understanding what we can

01:01:48.140 control and what we can't control? Did that make any sense?

01:01:50.340 Yeah, 100%. And I think we are taught that we are, a lot of us, let me put this this way,

01:01:55.200 are taught some of us more so than others. I'm on that other extreme end of the spectrum

01:01:58.740 coming from a mesh family. We are taught that we are responsible. I mean, think about what you, 0.98

01:02:04.220 what you tell, what, what you maybe have heard as little kids, you know, don't do that. You'll

01:02:07.800 make dad mad or don't do this. You'll make, right. So we, I think the truth is everything you say is

01:02:13.560 going to do something to someone. And what ends up happening is you stop saying anything that's,

01:02:20.460 that's meaningful. And then you become like everybody else where it's this polite

01:02:24.100 fucking bullshit conversation where you're driving a maroon motherfucking minivan with the 1.00

01:02:31.540 same haircut as everybody else. You don't want to step out of line like, because they're, 1.00

01:02:36.000 they're fucking afraid. Like, dude, what if I buy a blue minivan instead of the maroon one?

01:02:40.820 Well, fucking John, Mrs. Johnson down the road, she's going to say that you're stuck up because 0.99

01:02:45.440 you spent the extra $4,000 on the trim packet. Fuck Mrs. Johnson. I don't want to sit in those 1.00

01:02:50.900 cloth seats, motherfucker. That's okay. Yeah, I, I totally get it, dude. I get it. I mean, 1.00

01:02:57.640 I don't, I don't, I don't really want a Lamborghini, but what it does, bro, is it fucking squashes 0.97

01:03:03.960 people's will to, to say or do or experience any sort of life. No, it does. I agree. And, and, 0.97

01:03:12.000 and really learning that we are responsible for our own, our job is to make sure that we're

01:03:19.100 operating from the right motives and pure heart. We cannot control it. If somebody twists that,

01:03:24.460 we can't control that. And that's easier said than done. It is easier said than done because I mean,

01:03:30.320 you know, I'm not a car guy like you are, but I mean, even for, and I know a lot of people and not

01:03:35.820 everybody in our, our audience, but there's a, there's a segment that kind of share my spiritual

01:03:40.220 background. And there's part of me, like, I'm kind of glad I'm not a car guy because if I did

01:03:45.400 buy a Lamborghini, Oh, the former pastor is getting really materialistic and shallow, you know?

01:03:51.500 Well, there it is right there. So a meaning was now assigned to that car, right? It's not the car.

01:03:56.780 Or I must've sold out for some reason or compromised my, my principles.

01:04:01.000 Well, that's the perfect example, right? We have things that are quite literally events,

01:04:04.000 if you will, that are objective that then get us a meaning assigned. And again, we are taught,

01:04:08.500 I believe a lot of us, some of us more so than others directly or indirectly that whether it's

01:04:13.000 how we present ourself in the world, or like I was saying earlier, our emotional re or what we say

01:04:18.180 and that we are responsible and we have to worry about how everyone else perceives us in all of

01:04:22.780 these ways. So again, something that was just objective, it's a car, right? The concern is what

01:04:27.940 will that car mean about me? And that's what I'm reacting to. And that's what I'm concerned about.

01:04:32.780 So if you can just separate that out and part of consciousness and developing that

01:04:36.460 is I have a course coming up where I'm going to talk a lot about this. Cause another step of that

01:04:40.340 is learning how to be a neutral observer, meaning fuck those meanings. They are that, 0.99

01:04:46.300 that is the problem. The car is just a car, you know? And if someone wants to take the car to mean

01:04:50.860 X, Y, or Z about you or me or anyone, then that's again on them and not on me. If we can just start to

01:04:57.400 view the world, ourself, even anything and everything as neutrally as possible, as objective as

01:05:03.400 possible, then I think we have more peace. We can just be in the world and it's not our

01:05:08.200 responsibility. Cause how can we control? Because the person who says that Lamborghini means that

01:05:13.480 you could have another group of people that think the Lamborghini means something else about you.

01:05:17.540 How the hell are you? You know, you're going to drive yourself crazy trying to manage everyone's

01:05:21.560 meanings. And you do, you do drive yourself crazy. Not necessarily. I don't, I don't care about that

01:05:28.320 kind of stuff for me. Like the material thing, like I don't really give a fuck what people think. 0.98

01:05:31.780 Like that's the shit I like. Like I don't, that's, I don't mean, dude, you know, I don't even put, 0.99

01:05:35.920 like I, I've got like 30 fucking cars. I post like four of them. You know what I'm saying? Like 0.95

01:05:40.040 you guys don't even really know how much I enjoy cars. So I don't really care what people think

01:05:45.240 about that. My, my issue, my hangup, like your hangup might be that material thing. Like I move

01:05:51.060 past that. My, my hangup is the conversations I have with people where I know, like I haven't fully

01:05:56.900 understood. Dude, I feel like that regular dude, like, like they grew up on fucking shitty 1.00

01:06:04.120 gravel road that played in the fucking street in his underwear. Like, that's what I feel 1.00

01:06:07.960 like. Like I, that's, that's me. Like I'm a fucking normal dude from St. Louis. Like

01:06:12.320 and I haven't fully grasped the concept that my words even mean anything. Does that make sense?

01:06:21.980 Yeah. You, Andy, I listened to when you talked about the cars and I really liked the way you

01:06:25.760 said it too, because you like the cars because you like the cars. It doesn't have to go beyond that.

01:06:30.740 Some people have the cars for a function. I have the car to show to the world that I've made it.

01:06:35.460 That's the difference. And I think the more aware we are of the function that things are playing in

01:06:39.800 our life. And if it's coming from a place of internal want, you know, that's going to be

01:06:43.940 another example on the opposite side of that. So I'm also a big watch collector, but you've never,

01:06:49.500 none of you have ever seen me post a picture of my watch. Maybe once a year, I'll post a picture

01:06:53.520 of watch. I don't post, I don't collect watches because I want to show the world and fucking blah, 0.98

01:06:59.660 blah, blah. You know why I like watches? Because I value time. First of all, second of all, 0.97

01:07:04.800 I think it's fucking amazing. If you ever go on YouTube and watch a watchmaker make a watch, 0.98

01:07:09.280 and watch them make one, you watch, uh, it is the most tedious, most incredible feat of

01:07:16.940 engineering that you could ever witness in your life. And to me, that's cool, but I don't need

01:07:23.080 to like, like five years ago. Yes. I was the dude posted in a picture of my watch being like,

01:07:28.460 yeah, motherfuckers, fuck you. You know what I'm saying? But now it's not like that anymore. 1.00

01:07:32.660 And to be honest, I've, I've caught myself not even wearing watches anymore because of the

01:07:39.420 perception of, of what other people think. When in reality, I was just wearing a motherfucking 0.99

01:07:44.180 shit that I want to wear, you know? And, and so like, dude, that's the other end of the spectrum. 0.99

01:07:49.360 The other spectrum is like, you get shameful of it. Cause you're like, damn dude. You know, 1.00

01:07:53.960 like, cause you get that one comment, like, Oh dude, you're wearing a X amount of dollar watch.

01:07:58.120 Like you could feed blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Motherfucker. I am feeding those motherfuckers 0.98

01:08:02.100 too. That's what you don't understand. You know? And, and dude, the bottom line is, is 1.00

01:08:08.740 like, you don't, you're not going to win with other people no matter what you do. Right.

01:08:12.680 So you have to do what you like. Got to win with yourself. That's it. And you have to just

01:08:18.060 get centered enough that you can separate yourself out from all of the feedback that you get.

01:08:23.220 And, and again, don't get me wrong. Other people, objective eyes on us. You know, my

01:08:28.540 partners told me many objective truths that I did not want to hear that were helpful to

01:08:32.380 me because I am subjective to myself. Right. Meaning I live my life. I have somewhat of

01:08:37.020 blonder blinders on because that's all I know. So having someone point, that's why therapists

01:08:41.360 are helpful. That's why other people are helpful. Right. Sometimes someone having a great partner

01:08:45.000 that's honest is helpful because you like, like, like they will tell you things in a place

01:08:51.860 from a place of wanting you to improve. Right. Right. That's what I'm saying. We can't

01:08:56.520 globalize. So all feedback isn't necessarily bad. It might suck to hear, but some of it can

01:09:02.100 be of benefit because like I said, we are, we are limited and our goal is to develop objective

01:09:06.220 observers, you know, be an objective observer of herself. But sometimes someone else can offer

01:09:11.060 us something that it might suck to try on for size, but we need to have, I think, you know,

01:09:15.840 kind of a secure place within ourself to go back to and try it on for size because not

01:09:21.000 all feedback is even about us or is helpful to us. So I'm not going to wash it and say,

01:09:25.320 oh, just fuck everyone. I'm not going to listen to anyone. I don't think that helps in business 1.00

01:09:28.920 either, to be perfectly honest. I hate when people say that. Like when people say zero

01:09:32.040 fucks given. Yeah. You should give a lot of fucks. Yeah. Like, let's be real. If you don't 0.94

01:09:35.840 give a lot of fucks, you're going to be fucked. Right. There is a sense in which we should 1.00

01:09:39.780 care what other people think. Exactly. But you have to decide what you care about and what

01:09:43.680 you don't. Like, for example, we were on our Instagram live last night and some dude

01:09:48.000 wrote, Andy is slime. And I, I fucking laughed. I'm like, did you see it? I saw. Yeah. It's 0.99

01:09:55.240 like out of all the people in the world, like I know for sure, like that might be some things.

01:10:01.760 I might be too much for people. I might curse too much. But one thing I'm not is fucking

01:10:07.480 slime. No. And so I read it for like two seconds. I saw it and then I questioned it. I'm like, 0.99

01:10:13.260 well, are you slime? And you're like, no, I'm not slime. Okay. So I let it go. Like

01:10:18.680 I didn't, you know what I mean? And so you have to know what to hang on to and what not

01:10:23.100 to, you know? And a lot of, some things are true. Like maybe I do say bad words too much.

01:10:31.200 So I try to like maybe work on that a little bit, but really that's, who's to say that I

01:10:37.520 say bad words too much? Like most of your friends will probably say I curse too much.

01:10:43.260 I have a bunch of new friends.

01:10:46.160 But that's why they're your friends and not my friends.

01:10:48.420 Right. Yeah.

01:10:49.160 You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

01:10:50.280 And we all have uniquenesses about us that make us different in who we are. And the problem

01:10:55.200 I see with people in business and in life is that we're so used to getting and valuing

01:11:04.920 ourselves based upon the external feedback that we get from everybody else that we train

01:11:10.480 ourselves to only do things for that feedback. And what ends up happening is, is we create

01:11:16.480 an identity instead of being a human, we now become an external feedback machine, which

01:11:24.240 is why people end up not fulfilled because they can like, for me, like that's my biggest

01:11:28.720 fear. I'm like, dude, am I going to end up like that guy that everybody like is afraid

01:11:32.700 of, like afraid of anything? Like you made the money, you did this, you, you did all these

01:11:37.700 things, but at the end of the day, and I just don't see how I could ever feel that way because

01:11:42.040 the truth of the matter is, is that I'm giving everything that I can give. I'm giving everything

01:11:47.240 I can give. I couldn't give any more. If I gave any more, I would end up, and this is

01:11:51.080 the truth. I would end up in an insane asylum. Do you, do you believe that you work with

01:11:55.660 me every day?

01:11:56.200 Yeah, I do.

01:11:56.760 Do you?

01:11:57.460 Oh, for sure. 1.00

01:11:57.980 Like if I gave any more, would I go, would I, I would end up in a fucking hospital. 1.00

01:12:01.780 Yeah. You, yeah, you would fall off the cliff. 1.00

01:12:03.820 I do want to, I do want to, I do want to circle back to something because it's so, what

01:12:07.120 you said was so powerful. I think you said something to the extent of, you know, I heard

01:12:12.480 you say something to the extent of sometimes we do lie that doesn't make us liars. Something,

01:12:17.760 some, I thought I heard that, but basically that reminded me of something that I, that I

01:12:21.500 remember learning in seminary, which is.

01:12:23.700 Wait, you mean that like that time you lied about doing 30 shots?

01:12:26.040 Hey man. How many shots, how many shots did Vaughn do that night? I got proof. I think

01:12:30.720 it was like five.

01:12:31.600 Five? I think you did three. Well, I hadn't drank for a while when I took those five shots.

01:12:37.040 After five, the bartender definitely was giving you water.

01:12:39.180 And I think each one of those shots was like Jägermeister. That doesn't mean it's more than

01:12:42.640 one. You think the Jägermeister means like two or three? Anyway. Did you pass math?

01:12:51.460 No, I'm, I'm actually very bad at math. Really? I only like counting my Benjamins.

01:12:55.320 Let's see. You talking your what?

01:12:56.620 My Benjamins. 1.00

01:12:58.860 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:13:00.600 No, but. 0.99

01:13:01.400 First time a pastor's ever said that, by the way.

01:13:02.880 Yeah, I guarantee it.

01:13:03.700 Yeah, but see, he's talking about his arms and we're all thinking about his wiener. 0.99

01:13:07.820 Now we are, damn it. 0.99

01:13:08.840 So I got it. 0.99

01:13:09.420 Well, I know you are.

01:13:10.380 All right. So my, back to my point, my point note is that, so when I was in seminary, you

01:13:15.460 know, the, the, the original languages of the Bible is Hebrew and Greek and in Greek in

01:13:19.380 the gospels when it refers to like, it's weird cause it doesn't always come through in our

01:13:22.740 English translations, but if it refers to like what we would translate the word as a liar,

01:13:26.460 but the Greek actually, the, the literal word that it uses is says the one who lies or the

01:13:33.740 one who commits adultery or the one who does this.

01:13:37.000 In other words, in that language, it didn't, it wasn't translated to define the person by

01:13:42.360 what they did.

01:13:43.140 It was, this is someone who right now is lying.

01:13:46.860 And so I think, you know, back to your thing about worrying about becoming that guy.

01:13:51.800 Well, maybe some days you are that guy.

01:13:54.340 I mean, I'm just in theory, what maybe some days we are like, maybe you can be, then that's

01:13:58.800 what I don't think people, people are not comfortable with the fact.

01:14:02.560 This is definitely something I learned after 10 years of ministry.

01:14:05.320 First year of ministry.

01:14:06.140 I'm not sure I would have believed this last year. 1.00

01:14:07.540 I would have good people do really bad, stupid things. 0.99

01:14:11.400 And, and we're just, sometimes we are inconsistent as human beings. 0.99

01:14:14.780 And sometimes when it's ourselves who do something inconsistent, that messes with our narrative.

01:14:20.440 Right.

01:14:20.880 And we're like, it's a shock to the system. 0.94

01:14:22.900 And we're like, Oh crap, I must be that guy.

01:14:25.560 And we completely see ourselves through the lens of whatever it is we did.

01:14:30.060 And, and I love what you're saying about like, you have to, you have to just shift.

01:14:34.760 You have to be mindful and say, no, I'm not defined by this.

01:14:38.480 This is something I did.

01:14:39.820 And how then do I move on from it?

01:14:42.120 Yeah.

01:14:42.300 And I think you can probably understand why you did those things too.

01:14:45.460 I could even go deeper.

01:14:46.560 There might be a reason why in that moment you lie.

01:14:48.620 There might be a function of that for you.

01:14:50.360 There might be something that's even deeper than that.

01:14:53.000 They can give you the understanding again, further separating it from who you are and making

01:14:56.880 it just a choice you made for a role or a function or something that was important to you

01:15:01.100 at that time.

01:15:02.140 Right.

01:15:02.260 And I think, I think particularly with people from my sort of tribe growing up, when you're

01:15:07.460 conservative and you're religious, I think the quick thing is to say, well, wait, are

01:15:10.980 you excusing it?

01:15:11.780 No, I think there's a difference between understanding why you do something and excusing it.

01:15:15.840 Right.

01:15:16.040 Yeah.

01:15:16.240 I get those questions.

01:15:17.080 Yeah.

01:15:17.440 I get questions like that all the time.

01:15:18.820 Every time I talk about, I don't believe that there's, you know, personality disorders

01:15:22.480 or this and that.

01:15:23.400 And I look at everything in terms of let's understand what's happening here.

01:15:26.360 I find everything as a function.

01:15:27.700 Everything is an adaptation.

01:15:28.460 And then I'll always get those messages.

01:15:30.680 Well, does this okay?

01:15:31.560 Abuse this, that, the other thing.

01:15:32.880 No, there are still limits.

01:15:34.440 Right.

01:15:34.720 You know, we can still understand something, see why the things played out and still say,

01:15:38.240 okay, and now this is my boundary or my line, which is okay or which is not okay with me,

01:15:42.800 for me, to me, et cetera.

01:15:44.260 And I like that because a lot of people, I think, go more into that dichotomous black and 0.98

01:15:49.440 white way of categorizing life that I don't think is as neat as that.

01:15:53.900 I don't think it's ever as neat as that.

01:15:55.660 Yeah.

01:15:56.240 I really don't.

01:15:57.180 Like, cause like, even in terms of people that they say like, well, there is bad people

01:16:01.280 out there.

01:16:02.860 I, let me ask you, is there bad people?

01:16:06.600 I, I do not believe that there are bad people.

01:16:09.440 I believe that everyone, you know, again, decisions are made, you know, conditions are

01:16:14.000 set, you know, everything plays a role.

01:16:16.840 I don't think that we can just black and white, good, bad, you know, does someone have an 0.99

01:16:21.040 evil gene?

01:16:21.960 I just don't know.

01:16:22.880 I don't know if I believe that.

01:16:24.120 Here, let me, let me tell you why I think that.

01:16:28.360 I think there are bad people.

01:16:31.080 I don't think there's an evil gene, but the reason I think there are bad people is because

01:16:37.200 they did a bad thing.

01:16:40.160 They, they identified themselves as a bad person and then continued to just give in and do

01:16:46.820 bad things over and over and over again because they chose to be that sort of a person.

01:16:54.880 That's, that's how I see it.

01:16:57.500 So I do believe there are bad people, but I also believe the way they got there was for

01:17:02.320 the reason that you're saying.

01:17:03.740 Yeah, I agree.

01:17:04.760 I like that conceptualization.

01:17:06.500 Yeah.

01:17:06.620 I think that's a good way to think about it.

01:17:07.900 And again, some of the badness, I can make an argument further back, starts again at a

01:17:12.260 time and a place as an adaptation where that was the best option that they had, you know,

01:17:16.440 where they had no more choices.

01:17:17.960 And then that's all they saw.

01:17:19.300 That's all they saw.

01:17:19.880 That's all they saw. 1.00

01:17:20.420 They saw their dad beat the shit out of their mom every day. 0.98

01:17:23.960 That's you guys have to understand when you see someone do something every day that you're 0.96

01:17:30.060 supposed that you're told at school and by your pastor and your church and everybody

01:17:33.940 that you're supposed to listen to and trust and honor and this and that.

01:17:37.580 And then they do those.

01:17:39.700 That's normal. 1.00

01:17:40.520 You're like, okay, well, I guess this is how the fuck shit goes. 1.00

01:17:42.620 100%. 1.00

01:17:42.740 Yeah.

01:17:43.300 That girl talks back to me. 1.00

01:17:44.760 I'll punch her in the face. 1.00

01:17:46.400 And then you're like, well, I know that's not good, but that's how dad did it. 1.00

01:17:50.060 You know what I mean?

01:17:52.000 No, 100%.

01:17:52.920 I guess more meaning that I don't think we arrive here, however the hell you think we

01:17:57.020 get on this planet, as that bad chip.

01:18:00.260 Oh, I agree.

01:18:01.100 Yeah.

01:18:01.400 I agree.

01:18:02.060 And I think inherently we're all good, loving beings that, again, have had things happen that

01:18:06.520 I love the way you actually worded that.

01:18:07.860 Yeah.

01:18:08.060 And I think that no matter, like there's people listening right now, they're like, dude, I'm

01:18:11.160 a bad person.

01:18:12.300 No, you're not.

01:18:13.080 And I'm going to tell you why you're not.

01:18:15.280 Because the fact that you're aware enough to listen to a podcast that is geared around

01:18:20.880 fucking getting better shows that you have the desire to not make the same consistent 0.94

01:18:27.680 bad choices that you've made. 0.99

01:18:29.880 And what you need to do right now is understand that you are not a bad person.

01:18:34.820 You have made mistakes.

01:18:36.400 You have made bad decisions.

01:18:37.800 Some of the bad decisions that you might have made may have been consciously bad decisions.

01:18:42.260 Like you chose to purposely hurt that person or you chose to do that.

01:18:46.520 But that does not mean that you have to continue to do that.

01:18:49.960 What it means is you have a choice now to either continue that behavior and that would make you

01:18:57.220 a bad person when you know you're, when you consciously know you're doing bad things,

01:19:02.000 you know, you have an opportunity to change it and you still choose to do that.

01:19:08.620 Yeah.

01:19:09.220 That's no bueno, but.

01:19:14.480 Oh, well, here's what I'm saying.

01:19:17.260 I don't know that, but no, I mean, I'm, I'm agreeing with you.

01:19:20.760 Like when you willfully choose to do wrong, you can, and you should, if you can recognize

01:19:25.600 that all you've done is made, that you've made bad choices and decide that you aren't

01:19:31.120 a bad person and you want to change, you're no longer a bad person.

01:19:35.580 And so the fact that you're even listening to this podcast shows that you're aware enough

01:19:39.540 that you need to get better, which means you're probably not a bad person.

01:19:44.480 You see what I'm saying?

01:19:45.340 Yeah.

01:19:45.980 I don't know. 0.99

01:19:46.500 Maybe I'm fucking crazy. 0.99

01:19:47.560 No. 0.99

01:19:48.300 No, I think it goes, I think it goes back to what we were saying.

01:19:50.840 Like human beings are, we're, we're complicated creatures.

01:19:53.560 It's, it's, it's very difficult to make broad statements about really anybody.

01:19:58.300 And for me, even the word bad, I mean, we'll, you will use the old fashioned word evil.

01:20:03.680 Evil is a mystery.

01:20:04.540 There's, there's, there's, you know, there's suffering.

01:20:07.360 There's, there's our, our life histories.

01:20:09.680 There's, there's our genetics.

01:20:10.780 There's all sorts of things that, that make us both victims and victimizers, you know,

01:20:15.760 and, uh, we're broken people.

01:20:17.600 We're sick people. 1.00

01:20:18.700 I don't mean sick and like the pathetic, you know, you're sick. 1.00

01:20:21.740 I mean, like we need to help each other, you know, we need, we need to help each other. 0.99

01:20:26.180 And, and, uh, let me, let me, let me ask you this.

01:20:28.380 Yeah.

01:20:28.960 Cause I do, I could talk to you forever.

01:20:32.020 Thank you.

01:20:32.640 I am super interested.

01:20:33.960 Like, uh, a lot of people don't know that when I, when I applied for college, I applied

01:20:38.100 for psychology schools.

01:20:39.220 Like, that's what I wanted to do as well.

01:20:40.440 Oh really?

01:20:40.540 That's awesome.

01:20:41.020 Yeah.

01:20:41.300 Um, I wanted to make a lot of money doing it and I realized I couldn't make money doing it.

01:20:45.180 You discovered the truth of it all beforehand.

01:20:48.180 That's the truth.

01:20:49.080 But, but actually this gets into what I was going to bring up is you deserve to make a

01:20:55.100 lot of money because you offer really good, valuable content.

01:20:59.720 Um, and I usually don't ask people about this, but I know you mentioned you're doing a course.

01:21:05.760 Tell me a little bit about that initiative because you, what you do needs to be out there.

01:21:12.160 Like it needs to help on a mass scale.

01:21:15.280 How do you, how are you going to do that?

01:21:17.220 Cause you just said the course, we haven't talked about this.

01:21:19.840 So tell me about that.

01:21:20.800 No, no, absolutely.

01:21:21.440 So yeah, I mean, first and foremost, the reason I went on the platform is because like

01:21:25.580 I said earlier, I truly believe that everyone can heal.

01:21:27.480 So I've been totally transparent.

01:21:29.040 There's, I have worked with individual clients all along the way, all along the journey, but

01:21:33.080 I will always say all of the tools and methods that I'm using with those people, I'm also

01:21:36.660 putting on my Instagram.

01:21:37.640 Um, I also am very aware of the fact that people like to have a more kind of self-directed

01:21:42.880 here's all of the information because my Instagram touches, you know, nutrition and lifestyle and

01:21:48.440 subconscious and all of that.

01:21:49.720 So my newest initiatives I want to put out and the first and foremost, that kind of

01:21:54.040 applies to the conversation that we've been evolving today, which is on consciousness.

01:21:58.140 Um, this fall I'm going to release, um, a course self-directed that way people can take

01:22:02.360 themselves through.

01:22:03.580 I think at this point it's going to be a 12 week course in living in consciousness.

01:22:07.880 I think that's an incredible tool of change and I think it really does.

01:22:11.880 It's going to impact a lot of people.

01:22:13.400 So I'm really excited to put that out there for sure.

01:22:17.980 I'm not saying I'm being serious.

01:22:19.340 Yeah, absolutely.

01:22:20.160 I'm going to talk all about it.

01:22:21.460 I know I could call and text you personally and all that, but I want to, I want to go through

01:22:26.120 it.

01:22:26.400 That would be incredible.

01:22:27.180 Yeah.

01:22:27.400 So, so my, my thought of that is, is because, you know, instead of people kind of sifting

01:22:31.020 through all of the Instagram stuff, having just like actually a week by week, here's

01:22:35.360 what you do every day.

01:22:36.340 Cause I know that people love, you know, instructions and, and how to's.

01:22:40.080 Um, so taking all of the work that I've been doing with clients and accumulating now, I think

01:22:44.280 I have a good idea of how to kind of teach people how to develop consciousness in their

01:22:48.780 lives, you know, kind of taking them through a more structured program.

01:22:51.880 So that I'm really excited about.

01:22:53.820 And I'm also going to be, um, evolving the individual work that I've been doing into a

01:22:58.080 more group meant modality, um, because the reality of it is us humans are very much social

01:23:02.800 creatures and healing in a, in a group or in a community context.

01:23:06.460 I mean, one of the most, I think impactful things for me included with my Instagram is

01:23:11.040 my community is me being part of the community.

01:23:13.900 I mean, I am healing right alongside and gain so much value from having like-minded individuals.

01:23:18.880 Cause the, again, when I went on there, a lot, a little bit of my reason was a little

01:23:23.280 bit selfish too.

01:23:24.260 I felt so alone.

01:23:25.440 I felt like I was walking this journey and I was starting to make decisions in my daily

01:23:28.940 life that were not mapped onto the decisions that my regular friends and my family were

01:23:33.360 making.

01:23:33.960 So once I found that there's a community of people that I can feel supported by and offer

01:23:38.760 support to, um, that was just really, really motivating and impactful for me.

01:23:43.720 So I'm going to be offering that kind of group based healing too.

01:23:47.660 I love running groups as well.

01:23:48.880 So I'm very excited about that.

01:23:50.780 So yeah, this fall I'm excited.

01:23:51.900 I'm going to be rolling out some cool, some cool new things that I'm really interested

01:23:55.340 to see.

01:23:56.060 And I think that they're going to add another component to the work that I'm already putting

01:23:59.360 out there.

01:23:59.680 Do you feel like you got into this field at the right time?

01:24:02.260 Cause I feel like there's an awakening.

01:24:03.900 Yeah.

01:24:04.180 I mean, collective the, I think that the collect, I mean, language that I'm sure probably everyone

01:24:08.380 has heard like the collective is awakening and consciousness shifting and all of that.

01:24:11.900 I mean, I think in two, two ways to answer your question, I think I got in at the right

01:24:15.640 time.

01:24:15.900 Um, like I said earlier, I think that people are sick of the conventional options.

01:24:19.480 Um, I think people want a more, they're not working.

01:24:22.140 People want a more whole and they're actually making people sicker.

01:24:24.400 If you really want to ask me.

01:24:25.180 Well, that's the, that serves them.

01:24:26.840 It's just like a lot.

01:24:27.780 It's like the medical community.

01:24:29.080 I was, I was naive too.

01:24:30.380 Honestly, when I, when I first started waking up, I realizing that, that medicine is a business

01:24:34.700 was, I, I did not even very naively had my blinders on morality.

01:24:39.740 Did not even.

01:24:40.560 Yeah.

01:24:40.760 I did not even kind of put that together.

01:24:42.540 And then once I did, it's like, oh, okay, that makes sense now.

01:24:45.040 So I think, you know, holistically people are ready, but I think collectively, and this

01:24:49.160 is a consciousness raising and awareness.

01:24:50.940 And I say often, I'm so excited to hear because I have so many parents out there that are interested

01:24:56.180 and that are evolving and that are coming to consciousness and healing themselves.

01:24:59.940 I'm really excited to see this newer generation of kids out there that are going to really kind

01:25:04.420 of be parented in, in a new way.

01:25:06.940 I think it's incredibly inspiring.

01:25:08.560 So yeah, I think that people are ready.

01:25:10.040 Especially too nowadays, because they actually have this, the scientific means to study it

01:25:14.220 and get results. 0.98

01:25:15.960 And it's fucking crazy. 0.99

01:25:18.120 Yeah. 0.99

01:25:18.220 It's cool.

01:25:18.640 It's cool to see science somewhat catch up depending on the science that you're, you're

01:25:21.420 looking for and where the science came from.

01:25:23.120 There's more information available now.

01:25:25.500 You know, when there's more information available, people are going to consume more information

01:25:28.860 when they consume more information to become more aware.

01:25:31.340 You know, it's, I think it's natural progression with technology.

01:25:34.840 You know, people are just smarter now.

01:25:35.940 No, but I'm also talking about, they can use, they can use instruments to literally

01:25:39.980 get readings of the planet, like the energy of the planet.

01:25:42.820 Yes.

01:25:43.500 You know, like with Dr. Bruce Lipton, him doing the MRIs and the tumor just disappearing

01:25:48.660 like that.

01:25:49.240 Yeah.

01:25:49.700 Incredible.

01:25:50.380 Incredible.

01:25:50.740 And I'm really happy to, to hear the Bruce Lipton's and the Dr. Joe Dispenza's out there

01:25:54.580 that are putting science to it.

01:25:55.920 Cause I know for a lot of people, that's, I meant Dr. Joe Dispenza.

01:25:58.220 Yeah.

01:25:58.320 No, they're all doing, I mean, they're all kind of backing it in quote unquote science, if you

01:26:01.640 will.

01:26:01.780 And I think that's incredibly important because I know a lot of people out there, you know,

01:26:05.100 want that kind of stamp of, you know, kind of, but I, again, something I always talk to

01:26:09.480 people often, you really have to be aware of the science.

01:26:11.420 Cause just as much as probably science out there that's saying that's not the case, you

01:26:14.880 really have to be aware that science, the business, like I said, and who's it being

01:26:17.500 funded by and what is the agenda there?

01:26:19.520 But yeah, I mean, I think I'm, I'm just so I'm excited.

01:26:22.600 I'm really excited to see what's going to keep, continue to evolve.

01:26:24.720 I'm excited to see, I'd like to have you on again when your course comes out so that

01:26:28.300 people remember that it came out.

01:26:29.940 If you want to come back.

01:26:30.480 Yeah, I would love to continue this guy.

01:26:31.760 I love talking about this stuff.

01:26:32.800 Yeah, me too.

01:26:33.360 And I think people need it like for real.

01:26:35.440 I know I need it.

01:26:37.940 I think that the way I like to explain what you just said, Tyler, to like, remember in

01:26:47.700 the year 1500, right?

01:26:49.580 People thought they had it all figured out.

01:26:52.180 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:26:52.900 Like they thought the fucking drawbridge was the shit. 1.00

01:26:55.900 They thought fucking stone castle was impenetrable. 1.00

01:26:59.240 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:26:59.900 They thought the world was flat.

01:27:01.700 Tyler.

01:27:03.740 Same.

01:27:04.720 Look into it, dog.

01:27:05.600 You know what I'm saying?

01:27:06.680 I'm just saying, dude.

01:27:08.260 Like there's a lot of things we don't really know.

01:27:11.740 And there's a lot of things that we really don't know about the brain.

01:27:14.640 And so when you talk about manifestation and, you know, I think the worst thing that happened 0.98

01:27:20.120 to the fucking people's awareness about the power of the brain, the worst thing was that 0.99

01:27:24.760 fucking, that, the secret. 1.00

01:27:27.840 Okay. 1.00

01:27:28.800 Cause there's so much real shit behind that. 0.99

01:27:31.040 And that book comes off so fucking cartoonish and like, I couldn't even read it. 1.00

01:27:36.060 Dude, it's a fucking joke. 0.99

01:27:37.540 I'm sorry. 0.99

01:27:38.520 I very much poo-pooed it myself. 0.99

01:27:39.980 I thought it was just woo-woo bullshit. 0.98

01:27:41.840 Now that I understand that it's based on the law of attraction and speak, it was also cool 0.98

01:27:45.600 as I wanted to counter this just for one second.

01:27:47.520 While I do believe that things are evolving and we're understanding, I also know kind of 0.95

01:27:51.280 reading really old texts of mystics and stuff that actually a lot of the shit has been 0.76

01:27:55.200 talked about before we had the science to have eyes. 0.82

01:27:58.280 Eyes on it.

01:27:58.680 And I find that absolutely mind-blowingly incredible. 1.00

01:28:01.040 How the hell do they know this shit without eyes on things like we have now? 1.00

01:28:04.480 But sometimes you just got to believe in shit and like, dude, and when Jesus was walking 1.00

01:28:10.780 the earth or whatever you want to believe, right? 1.00

01:28:13.060 What was that?

01:28:13.860 Year zero or 32 or whatever.

01:28:16.880 Let's say 30.

01:28:18.080 He's still walking around.

01:28:19.340 33.

01:28:20.020 All right.

01:28:20.280 I know he died at 33, but I'm saying like, just say in the year 30, they didn't, there was 0.99

01:28:27.360 no law of gravity, but if that motherfucker jumped off the top of a building, guess what 0.99

01:28:31.660 happened? 0.99

01:28:32.480 Splat.

01:28:33.860 Okay.

01:28:34.280 Cause there's things out there that are just, they just are like, regardless of what the

01:28:38.740 science says or regardless of what someone's opinion is. 1.00

01:28:41.260 And I personally will tell you that, that manifestation of your thoughts is real shit, real shit. 1.00

01:28:52.740 People, they want the proof. 1.00

01:28:56.880 They want the study.

01:28:58.220 They want this.

01:28:59.040 They want that. 1.00

01:28:59.820 Man, you would do yourself such a service just to start practicing that shit. 1.00

01:29:04.060 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:29:04.980 Like just believe it and do it. 1.00

01:29:06.980 And then see if you, I don't need any science to prove that shit to me anymore. 0.99

01:29:11.740 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:29:12.460 I just know that it's there.

01:29:13.760 Power of belief is everything.

01:29:14.840 Speaking of Bruce Lipton, that's one of his titles of his book.

01:29:17.440 I mean, it is, it doesn't matter if it maps onto quote unquote reality or not.

01:29:21.700 If you believe it, it will come in your world.

01:29:24.260 And I truly know that.

01:29:25.260 I do too.

01:29:26.140 Like I don't believe it.

01:29:27.020 I know it.

01:29:27.720 I know it.

01:29:28.280 I love that you said know it.

01:29:29.860 Yeah.

01:29:30.140 I was going to say a lot of people think they believe something, but they actually don't.

01:29:33.480 And that can be said just on the other side of it too.

01:29:35.200 If we believe in limitations and lack, just like I did.

01:29:38.020 And that's why I'm so, I share my story because I came from a whole different belief set when

01:29:43.040 I entered my own healing journey to that, which I have now.

01:29:45.960 So with that also said, beliefs can change and we can have beliefs that limit us and we

01:29:50.320 can have beliefs that, you know, succeed us. 0.50

01:29:52.800 How big of a part of, of, I guess this is probably a stupid question, but cause it's probably 0.75

01:29:58.040 the answer is probably everything.

01:30:00.840 How, how big of a part is understanding someone's perspective in terms of you helping them figure

01:30:10.880 out where they need to go?

01:30:12.820 Do you see what I'm saying?

01:30:14.220 Like, like what perspective they are in, where they're coming from, from like development

01:30:20.180 perspective or their current, like, like for example, maybe that's the wrong way to ask

01:30:23.820 it.

01:30:23.980 So real world scenario, you're having a business meeting, right?

01:30:30.240 And you have 20 years experience in business and you know, for sure that if you do X, that

01:30:36.920 Y and Z happen, right? 1.00

01:30:39.900 You know, for sure, like for sure, just like you, you throw a rock over there in the water,

01:30:45.160 it's going to make a splash.

01:30:45.980 Like it's that for sure.

01:30:48.100 But you have eight other people in the room that you've got to like convince that that

01:30:54.140 is a fact, right?

01:30:56.460 How big of, of how important would you say that their perspective is on understanding?

01:31:07.900 I guess I'm answering my own question because it's everything like, because where they came

01:31:15.480 from, what they saw, what they believe, what they observed will dictate whether or not they

01:31:19.540 believe that that rock is going to create that splash, right?

01:31:23.540 Our perspective is shaped by everything and plays a pivotal role in anything that then comes

01:31:29.040 beyond.

01:31:29.680 And it also can be shifted.

01:31:31.240 I also think it's important to ask about perspectives because something I learned very early in my clinical

01:31:35.820 training that I actually did learn somewhat through school was not to assume perspectives

01:31:40.220 either, not to assume that the words that we kind of throw out universally, you know,

01:31:45.760 mean the same things to each person.

01:31:47.760 So I think that answers us a little bit or touches a little bit similarly to what I hear

01:31:51.260 you say. 0.98

01:31:51.480 Yeah, you made a post one time, man, fuck, you make a lot of good posts, but this post stuck 0.98

01:31:58.260 with me and I can't remember the exact words, but you said something about like, we have 0.99

01:32:02.700 to realize that all these things that we say and talk and our language and everything that

01:32:06.900 we use all comes from perspective and it's all different for everybody.

01:32:11.140 I can't remember how you said that, but it was like genius.

01:32:13.980 Just to use a quick example, right?

01:32:15.100 So if someone comes in my office, says I'm anxious, I've lived anxiety my whole life.

01:32:19.200 I'm going to say, oh, this is what they mean with anxiety.

01:32:21.880 And I'm going to use my experience of it, right?

01:32:23.880 So that means I get nervous, I get panicky, I get this.

01:32:26.300 But if I were to ask them, I might hear a completely different thing that they mean when they say

01:32:31.140 anxiety, so I think that's another kind of example too, of understanding that we all

01:32:35.440 might be thinking we're talking more or less about the same thing or think that we understand

01:32:39.620 X, Y equals Z, you know, but really it's different for each of us because we're all viewing it

01:32:44.520 through that lens of to speak to, like you said, past experiences, thought probably kind

01:32:47.960 of all of that is factoring in and we might all think we're in agreement, but we're not,

01:32:52.080 you know, so I think that's another part of it too, is understanding that, you know, sometimes

01:32:56.180 we have to ask those more exploratory questions to see where someone's coming from.

01:32:59.820 That makes sense why the drugs don't work for every single person, because if we don't

01:33:04.320 know where it's coming from, you know, if anxious is to mean three different things,

01:33:09.800 right, to three different people, and we're just saying that it is like what we think it

01:33:16.180 is, then the only way that we could possibly solve it for the other three people is if they

01:33:21.780 happen to be describing the same thing that we're talking about, which is actually highly

01:33:27.860 unlikely.

01:33:29.860 Yeah.

01:33:30.860 But part of it too, is understanding that our brain is going to do that because we take in

01:33:33.160 so much information in any given second, even our brain needs to categorize things, you know?

01:33:39.040 So it's, it's, it's natural tendency to hear anxiety and to run it through my filter.

01:33:43.100 So I have to be conscious and take an extra step to say, well, wait a minute, what, what

01:33:46.960 does it mean?

01:33:47.960 Cause if I'm not, that's what my brain is going to naturally do to just make sense of the world

01:33:51.760 around us because we can't take every discreet new thing, you know, and apply a meaning to

01:33:57.000 it.

01:33:57.100 We are already doing that, you know, subconsciously.

01:33:59.960 So let's talk about, let's just give them an example.

01:34:03.080 Like, dude, I feel anxious all the time, like all the time.

01:34:07.460 Like I'm always at a, like a level eight or nine, even when I wake up in the morning of

01:34:12.440 like, I feel like, like my anxiety is like this weird feeling in my stomach, like a nervousness.

01:34:18.760 Hervousness.

01:34:19.400 Does that make sense?

01:34:20.300 Yeah, absolutely.

01:34:20.900 Living in the past.

01:34:21.800 How does someone figure out why they're having that?

01:34:25.920 Why they're having anxiety?

01:34:26.940 Yeah.

01:34:27.580 I mean, there's so first and foremost, and this is why to kind of bring it full circle

01:34:30.860 in a sense.

01:34:31.480 Like love and apathy, right?

01:34:33.020 Like you, you really care about something versus not caring at all.

01:34:36.740 Those are like the op.

01:34:37.940 What's, what's the opposite of anxiety piece?

01:34:41.260 I guess, right?

01:34:42.580 Yeah.

01:34:42.960 But I'm saying like, how do you move away from that?

01:34:46.900 Well, you have to look at where it's coming from.

01:34:48.160 So the reason I work holistically, especially because with something like anxiety and depression,

01:34:52.980 sometimes there's physiological, not to say this applies to you, but sometimes there's

01:34:56.160 physiological imbalances that are causing that feeling in my body, even downright panic for

01:35:01.100 some of us based on the food we're eating or the activities we're doing or we're not

01:35:04.380 doing.

01:35:05.140 Sometimes it's anxiety, if you will, is a symptom of something that's more physiological.

01:35:09.080 So important to make sure that we're aware of how balanced our body is.

01:35:13.360 And if it's not balanced, making sure that it's balanced.

01:35:15.540 And then there's sometimes the mind part of anxiety, whether I'm not, I'm in the past,

01:35:19.700 to speak to your point, Tyler, I'm ruminating or, you know, kind of my mind is playing the

01:35:24.280 role in anxiety.

01:35:24.880 I brought up the physiological part too, Andy, because a lot of times people who struggle

01:35:29.240 with anxiety do have a peak of it upon waking, which sounds crazy.

01:35:32.860 I was just sleeping.

01:35:33.480 What the hell? 0.69

01:35:33.900 Why am I anxious?

01:35:35.080 Our cortisol spikes naturally in the mornings and cortisol is more of our anxiety fight

01:35:40.540 or flight response.

01:35:41.320 That's what anxiety is.

01:35:42.600 It's an overactive fight or flight response, which evolutionarily we are all gifted with

01:35:46.860 to save ourselves from the saber tooth tiger, but that's not there.

01:35:49.980 So most of us are in a nervous system that is just overworking itself, that has the result

01:35:57.100 of too much cortisol, too much adrenaline.

01:35:59.460 And sometimes when you wake up, which naturally it spikes to wake us up, then it kind of, if

01:36:04.240 you already have too much of it, now you're going to have that more palpable experience

01:36:08.060 of anxiety.

01:36:08.140 That's probably why I don't sleep very well, because it's probably always up.

01:36:10.160 Yeah.

01:36:10.440 Well, that's what it is.

01:36:11.040 So if you think about fight or flight, it comes from a nervous system response and our

01:36:14.360 nervous system, as I'm sure our listeners can imagine, is very important.

01:36:17.260 And it affects all of us and think about the anxiety symptoms.

01:36:20.520 It is the nervousness in the stomach, the blood that goes to our extremities, the heart

01:36:25.280 racing.

01:36:25.640 And that's what we do when we need to run or save ourselves or fight or flee, right?

01:36:29.620 The predator.

01:36:30.320 I mean, that's what it's based on.

01:36:31.760 Sleep is not on the docket. 1.00

01:36:33.460 I mean, shit, if I'm running from a tiger, I don't want my ass sleeping in a goddamn corner. 1.00

01:36:37.420 You know, I'll sleep in the hut when I'm done. 1.00

01:36:39.280 But so I think a lot of the times and most hyperactivity, kind of on edge, hypervigilance.

01:36:46.160 I mean, I'm looking for the next thing.

01:36:47.740 That's all indicators of my nervous system.

01:36:50.220 I'm too much in my fight or flight.

01:36:52.240 So a tool I mentioned earlier, breathwork, really important for that because breathwork

01:36:56.440 is the way that the other nervous system is called the parasympathetic.

01:37:00.160 So when I do practices like breathwork, which I'm a big proponent of, I'm actually kickstarting

01:37:05.100 myself back into that more rested state.

01:37:07.760 As a human, we quote unquote should spend all of our time in that parasympathetic state

01:37:12.420 only to use fight or flight on necessity, you know?

01:37:16.360 And now, unfortunately, our external environments for most of us are stressors and our minds

01:37:23.820 have become overactive stressors.

01:37:26.040 So a lot of us, and I think that's to speak to the point of why our sleep system, why our

01:37:29.600 digestive system.

01:37:30.760 So people have anxiety, you'll hear report issues in all of those areas.

01:37:34.800 And if you just think about it logically, it's because their body is waiting to do something,

01:37:39.580 activate it when really there's nothing, there's nothing there to do.

01:37:43.040 See, I was giving myself severe anxiety a lot upon waking up just because I was trying

01:37:47.880 to predict the future.

01:37:49.080 Yeah. 1.00

01:37:50.040 And I was just like, fuck. 1.00

01:37:52.080 Like I would come into work and I'd be like, yes. 0.99

01:37:54.780 That's a protection because what that, I've said this for a very long time now, people

01:38:00.100 probably thought I was crazy at first, but I truly believe one of the least tolerated human

01:38:04.340 emotions is uncertainty, not knowing.

01:38:06.740 And our brain does not like that.

01:38:08.560 So our brain will try to predict the future.

01:38:10.880 And if we're all honest, the future is all uncertain.

01:38:14.120 We don't know what's going to happen in the next second, even if we try desperately.

01:38:17.520 And that's why our brain tends to feel like it spins trying to predict this future because

01:38:21.580 we're never going to land on what it is until it happens.

01:38:24.080 So a lot of times we do engage in that kind of forward.

01:38:28.400 Oftentimes, if we're honest, it's worst case scenario type of future based thinking in

01:38:32.800 an attempt to make ourselves feel better in the uncertainty of it. 0.99

01:38:36.880 So I've, I'm so fucked up. 0.98

01:38:42.260 I've actually harnessed that to be productive for me. 0.99

01:38:46.600 You know what I mean?

01:38:47.300 Yeah.

01:38:47.500 Like you can see that.

01:38:48.460 Yeah.

01:38:48.660 Like my intensity, my, my, my ability, the way I speak, you know, this building, all 0.99

01:38:55.400 this shit, that's, this all comes from that. 0.99

01:38:57.380 Right. 1.00

01:38:58.000 But now I'm to the point and I've always embraced it. 0.99

01:39:00.340 I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. 0.98

01:39:01.440 Like that's my, that's me. 0.99

01:39:02.640 And I like that part of me.

01:39:04.180 I love it.

01:39:05.080 But what I'm on my journey and where I'm at is to learn how to control that.

01:39:11.740 You know, so that it's there when it, when I need it to serve me choice and when I want

01:39:17.020 to be home and I want to feel comfortable and not anxious, I can do that on demand.

01:39:22.860 Yeah.

01:39:23.280 That's where I want to get to.

01:39:24.400 Yeah.

01:39:24.560 You said something earlier and I'm happy we got back to this place because endless to

01:39:29.460 do lists, achievement, all of that can be really productive for some people with anxiety,

01:39:34.020 myself included.

01:39:34.860 I was always a high achiever.

01:39:36.120 I was always onto the next.

01:39:37.060 Cause I was always keeping myself busy with the something else to do and achieve and you

01:39:41.300 know, make or whatever it was, because for me, that was a great productive channel for

01:39:45.440 my anxiety.

01:39:45.980 And then when I got the things or did the things, I got the feedback of the good grade or the

01:39:50.260 success or whatever it was.

01:39:51.560 Now I got to feel good in two ways.

01:39:53.580 I no longer felt anxious because I channeled it and I got the validation of what I accomplished

01:39:58.800 based on my channeling.

01:40:00.020 But I think you're right.

01:40:00.780 And I offered the word choice because I think anytime we are in a place of choice where I don't

01:40:05.560 have to activate to feel okay for my anxiety, we're in the most empowered place.

01:40:10.120 So to speak to your point where I can go home and choose to turn it off and just be peaceful

01:40:13.520 with my partner or whomever.

01:40:15.220 And then when I can also choose to use the, you know, kind of whatever it is, the anxiety

01:40:20.200 or production as an outlet for production, then I think anytime we have choice, we're really

01:40:25.500 going to be in the most successful space.

01:40:27.340 That's where I'm trying to move to.

01:40:28.700 Like I, I, I'm happy where I've gotten and where I've, what I've been able to do and where

01:40:33.300 my life is right now, um, I feel good.

01:40:37.280 Like, I feel like I've done some, something, you know what I mean?

01:40:39.920 I'd say you did a thing or two.

01:40:41.420 Well, no, no, but I, but I would never recognize that. 0.96

01:40:44.440 Like even two years ago, I was like, no, I haven't done shit.

01:40:47.040 I'm starting to realize like, you know, like I see my guys building careers and buying

01:40:51.180 houses and moving up and I feel good about that.

01:40:53.880 I feel, I see my customers and, uh, people who follow me improving and getting better.

01:40:58.480 I see people in, uh, Ed's group and on our group, Arte Syndicate, you know, I see them

01:41:03.440 making more money and becoming more successful and I see all of those things.

01:41:07.160 So I'm like, okay, I'm doing something, you know what I mean? 0.92

01:41:10.180 Um, and I've always been afraid to like ever turn that off because like all the cool shit 0.85

01:41:15.900 in my life comes from that. 0.60

01:41:17.320 Does that make sense?

01:41:18.620 So now, but I feel, but now I've realized that I've almost embraced it too much where I'm 0.51

01:41:23.640 like, dude, you need to chill the fuck out, you know? 0.92

01:41:27.360 Cause like nobody knows what they're getting with you. 0.98

01:41:30.620 Like one time, one minute you're fucking happy and you're in a great mood and you're joking 0.99

01:41:35.040 around the next minute you're choking someone's fucking life out of them figuratively. 0.99

01:41:40.320 You know what I mean? 0.98

01:41:41.340 And I want to be able to be strategic when I, when I can utilize those tools, just like

01:41:49.160 you were talking about tools that you use for therapy, there's personality traits or

01:41:53.680 tools as well, you know? 0.99

01:41:55.460 And if you're going to go try to drive, uh, try to install a light switch with a fucking 0.98

01:42:01.040 hammer, it's, it's going to be a lot harder than if you just use a screwdriver. 0.97

01:42:05.880 So like you can imagine, you can, you can, I say the word flexibility, but you can imagine

01:42:11.180 my relationships, right?

01:42:12.500 Like I'm not talking about like, uh, intimate relations.

01:42:16.140 I'm talking about even friendships.

01:42:17.100 Like dude, imagine that like a man, like, and this is where, this is where the awareness

01:42:21.420 is starting to come from.

01:42:22.460 Like imagine being friends with this dude who will literally do anything for you, like

01:42:28.220 literally anything, right?

01:42:30.540 He's fun.

01:42:31.500 You have a good time with them. 1.00

01:42:32.840 He'll make you laugh, but two or three days a week, he's going to scare the fucking shit 0.99

01:42:39.500 out of you for no reason. 0.99

01:42:40.560 I know that dude.

01:42:41.360 Yeah, I know.

01:42:42.460 I know.

01:42:43.140 We're talking about the same guy here, but that's what it's like.

01:42:47.160 Well, then that's where, I mean, to be honest, so I'm trying to get better about like not

01:42:53.420 being that way.

01:42:56.360 Right.

01:42:56.740 So that's the one thing I'm working on.

01:42:58.060 Then I'm working on this other thing, like where instead of me, where like, even since

01:43:03.180 we talked two weeks ago, like I'm a quick learner.

01:43:05.240 Like I had a dude kind of smart off to me in a text message the other day.

01:43:09.040 And so I sent him a voice. 0.99

01:43:10.340 I said, don't fucking talk to me like that, bro. 0.99

01:43:12.440 I said, let me be real clear. 0.99

01:43:14.000 I'm the customer. 1.00

01:43:15.140 You're the fucking business owner. 1.00

01:43:16.780 I'm paying you. 1.00

01:43:18.140 Don't talk to me like that or I won't do business with you.

01:43:21.060 And you know what?

01:43:22.540 I didn't feel bad about saying it because it was the truth.

01:43:25.460 Yeah.

01:43:25.880 You know?

01:43:26.280 And do I not like the guy?

01:43:27.600 No, I love the guy, but he needed to hear that.

01:43:30.200 You know what I mean?

01:43:30.760 Because he's getting too comfortable and I didn't feel bad about it.

01:43:34.160 And you know what I thought?

01:43:34.960 I'm like, dude, you know what?

01:43:35.700 Nicole would be proud because I didn't feel bad.

01:43:38.000 I was like, you know what? 0.99

01:43:38.900 He fucking deserved that. 1.00

01:43:40.800 You know? 1.00

01:43:41.260 And could I have been different about it?

01:43:42.980 No, actually I couldn't have because he wouldn't have got it.

01:43:45.440 And that's what I'm starting to realize is like there's a time and place for me to like, 0.99

01:43:50.660 you know, unleash that kind of shit as opposed to just letting it fucking go. 0.99

01:43:55.940 And that sets you up to be more successful too. 1.00

01:43:57.960 Yeah.

01:43:58.280 Because when you're strategic and when you're making those choices from that conscious place,

01:44:02.320 likely you're going to be listening to an intuition that's going to be accurate.

01:44:05.300 That guy likely will take now here and take what you said and do something with it.

01:44:09.900 Yeah.

01:44:10.500 But I didn't call him back later and say, hey, I'm sorry for that.

01:44:13.180 Like I didn't, I didn't.

01:44:14.160 I let him wear it.

01:44:14.960 Yeah.

01:44:15.300 Because that's my MO. 0.99

01:44:16.440 Like I'll fucking unleash on someone. 0.97

01:44:18.420 And then an hour later, I'll call him back and be like, oh, bro, I'm sorry. 0.97

01:44:23.700 And like normally, like people, people think, oh, that's a good thing, but it's not a good 1.00

01:44:27.280 thing because the truth is, is I end up wearing that shit. 0.99

01:44:30.660 Like there's something wrong with me when the whole fucking problem was there was something 1.00

01:44:34.300 wrong with that motherfucker. 1.00

01:44:36.140 You know? 1.00

01:44:36.620 So like, I don't know.

01:44:38.900 It's just a, it's a puzzle. 1.00

01:44:41.140 And I'm, I am a fuck. 1.00

01:44:42.700 I'm like one of them big motherfucking puzzles. 1.00

01:44:45.000 Like, you know what I'm saying? 0.98

01:44:46.580 Like that one, it's like 5,000 pieces. 1.00

01:44:48.620 You walk through the fucking store. 0.99

01:44:49.960 You're like, oh, that looks like fun. 1.00

01:44:51.300 He's more like that giant Rubik's cube.

01:44:53.120 Makes life interesting. 1.00

01:44:54.180 You get the motherfucker home, you dump it out. 1.00

01:44:56.120 You're like, fuck that. 1.00

01:44:56.940 Let's make a hamburger. 1.00

01:44:58.800 Dude.

01:44:59.680 But you know, I honestly, I like the fact that I think most people are in our culture are

01:45:08.260 the exact opposite.

01:45:09.740 They're so nice.

01:45:11.880 They're so, they don't know how to speak truth into people's lives.

01:45:15.540 I think that's why this podcast is so successful.

01:45:17.680 I really do.

01:45:18.840 I think, I think.

01:45:19.820 I honestly have no idea why it is.

01:45:21.380 Well, it's me.

01:45:22.120 But, but no, I think, I think our whole culture has really, like the whole concept of love

01:45:30.020 in our culture is whatever you want, coddle, speak.

01:45:35.900 And that's, that's like the opposite of what you are.

01:45:39.280 And I mean that in a good way.

01:45:40.260 Like, and so I think it's a really good, I needed a corrective.

01:45:44.460 You just, I'm glad you brought that up, dude.

01:45:47.220 So you mentioned the group atmosphere, right?

01:45:49.980 And the self-healing and the self-love and like, you listen to my podcast. 0.99

01:45:53.820 You know how I feel about some of this shit. 0.96

01:45:55.440 At what point does it cross over from being real to like actually perpetuating the victimness? 0.99

01:46:01.080 Yeah.

01:46:01.640 Like, that's a real problem.

01:46:02.920 Yeah.

01:46:03.060 No, I love what Yvonne said because I had to learn as well a new definition of love.

01:46:07.660 I was the family of dance around feelings because the truth of it is I don't like to feel badly

01:46:12.360 when I say a truth to someone.

01:46:13.940 So I'm doing my, I am protecting myself from the feel bads by just placating everyone in

01:46:19.540 my life.

01:46:20.020 So I say that to say that a lot of my own journey professionally was in my old life as that

01:46:24.760 That's me.

01:46:25.500 As that therapist, I did not speak truth to people in my office.

01:46:29.300 I, whatever they were, whatever I just met, you know, I quote unquote met them where they

01:46:32.600 were at.

01:46:33.360 So for me, my own professional evolution has been embracing truth.

01:46:37.280 And a big pivotal role was actually with my partner who really taught me the new version

01:46:41.720 of love that love does love means sometimes saying the uncomfortable truths to people

01:46:46.480 to better them from a place of love.

01:46:49.020 Love isn't just dancing.

01:46:50.840 Oh, absolutely.

01:46:51.440 I mean, no, I wanted to drive.

01:46:53.100 I thought she didn't love me.

01:46:54.180 At first you're like, honestly, no, if I'm honest, when she would say those things, I

01:46:56.480 was like, what's wrong with you?

01:46:57.520 That is not nice.

01:46:58.360 You do not love me.

01:46:59.100 You're not supporting me.

01:46:59.920 You're invalidating me.

01:47:00.860 I said all the things.

01:47:01.880 So kicking and screaming.

01:47:03.080 Yeah.

01:47:03.260 Now I respect her and I respect the growth.

01:47:05.640 And so for me, I had to really incorporate those truths into my new practice because

01:47:10.220 I realized that I was doing people a disservice in trying to avoid my own discomfort with

01:47:15.420 speaking truth.

01:47:16.040 It was again, like I was saying all about me.

01:47:18.540 I couldn't speak a truth because I didn't like how it felt for me.

01:47:21.120 It was about the other person.

01:47:22.460 I don't want to hurt someone else, but sometimes we have to hear some things that are hard to

01:47:26.620 shift and change and evolve.

01:47:28.600 Well, a lot, I think you, a lot of, you either have to like, it's, you're either going to

01:47:34.000 have to have the comp, the hard conversation with yourself. 0.98

01:47:36.900 Damn dude, this is your first podcast. 1.00

01:47:38.600 It is. 1.00

01:47:39.540 It's your first fucking rodeo, bro. 1.00

01:47:42.060 You ever been in a business meeting before? 1.00

01:47:45.700 We got Dave laughing.

01:47:47.800 Chicken wings.

01:47:49.300 What's up, Dave?

01:47:51.020 Dave, Dave, come over here.

01:47:52.300 We got, we got to put Dave on for a minute.

01:47:54.840 Dave, this is, this is, this chicken wing Dave.

01:47:58.220 This is me.

01:47:59.200 I love chicken wings and I like this podcast.

01:48:04.720 Dave's got a sexy voice, but he's already taken.

01:48:08.060 He has 4,000 kids.

01:48:10.240 He's effective.

01:48:11.760 We'll just leave it at that.

01:48:14.440 Dave, why aren't you wearing your chicken wing suit today?

01:48:16.460 It's Friday.

01:48:17.760 All right.

01:48:18.320 Fry suit Friday.

01:48:19.140 Next Friday.

01:48:20.120 That's summer smash.

01:48:22.520 That's our HQ groundbreaking Friday morning.

01:48:25.820 Should I wear the fry suit?

01:48:26.940 I mean, if you want to be cool.

01:48:28.920 If I was really cool, I wear the fry suit to our groundbreaking. 0.85

01:48:32.860 The guy who owns the, the, the fucking, uh, the developments, he came in yesterday and 0.85

01:48:37.500 he's like, Oh, we're gonna do this groundbreaking. 0.91

01:48:39.360 Really cool dude.

01:48:40.360 Really like him a lot.

01:48:41.960 I'm like, can we wear whatever we want?

01:48:43.860 And he's like, yeah, man, wear whatever you want.

01:48:47.100 And I'm like, do I need to wear a suit?

01:48:48.500 And he's like, no.

01:48:50.020 You gonna wear your fry suit?

01:48:50.960 I don't know.

01:48:51.760 I guess we can wear whatever we want.

01:48:54.320 Now I think I have to wear the fry suit.

01:48:56.520 I mean, I know you're new at being cool.

01:48:58.480 Yeah.

01:48:58.800 I am new at being cool.

01:49:00.360 See, Dave's my, Dave's my connect to the youth.

01:49:03.480 Like, like Dave tells me what's cool.

01:49:05.540 I don't listen to Tyler because Tyler, see, Tyler thinks he knows what's cool.

01:49:10.220 Dave knows what's cool.

01:49:11.980 And that's probably true.

01:49:13.120 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:13.780 Fuck you, Dave. 1.00

01:49:14.540 Real, real talk though. 1.00

01:49:18.880 Like real.

01:49:20.860 I'm a better human because of you.

01:49:22.980 I mean that.

01:49:23.880 That means the world.

01:49:24.640 Yeah.

01:49:24.780 Like I'm so humbled to hear that.

01:49:26.360 Thank you.

01:49:26.840 And I appreciate it.

01:49:28.340 It's.

01:49:29.160 Well, honestly, I mean, speaking of truth.

01:49:30.680 I mean, you, when I said earlier, you were a huge inspiration to me.

01:49:33.220 I mean, you are, you really showed me a new side of being able to tell people things that,

01:49:37.920 you know, are for the betterment of them coming from a place of, of want for them to be better.

01:49:43.020 So you've affected me just as much.

01:49:44.940 Well, I, that means a lot to me.

01:49:47.380 And, and I don't, I don't, I don't know. 0.98

01:49:49.700 Like, I feel like I'm, I feel like an idiot. 0.95

01:49:52.120 Like I'm just on here talking all the time. 0.85

01:49:53.860 So like, thank you.

01:49:55.960 That's all I'm going to say.

01:49:56.780 Cause I got to.

01:49:58.200 You, you, you kind of hope that you could go back to Cornell and go, man, I wish I could

01:50:02.140 have done my PhD on this guy.

01:50:04.120 Did you go to Cornell?

01:50:05.040 For undergrad.

01:50:05.700 Oh, did you?

01:50:06.100 Yeah.

01:50:06.480 My brother, Dr. Prada went to Cornell.

01:50:08.360 Oh yeah?

01:50:08.760 Yeah.

01:50:09.340 Cool.

01:50:09.900 But he went, he went to learn, he went to learn how to make boobies.

01:50:13.020 I was going to say, she could have, and Nicole could have gone back and you could have done

01:50:18.360 your PhD thesis on the psychology of Andy Frisella. 0.99

01:50:22.060 Oh fuck. 0.99

01:50:22.900 That would have been complicated. 1.00

01:50:24.020 That would have been my first case study.

01:50:25.300 That would have been a long, that would have been a long paper. 0.99

01:50:28.780 A long, there is lots of shit down there. 0.99

01:50:31.000 I promise you that. 0.97

01:50:32.460 But, uh, I just, I really mean that it means a lot to have you here.

01:50:35.780 Uh, I really want you to come back, especially when you're going to put out, uh, your, yeah,

01:50:39.520 for sure.

01:50:40.060 I love these conversations.

01:50:42.000 Any initiative that you have, um, these guys listening are going to support you.

01:50:45.900 I know they are.

01:50:47.000 Uh, and I just want to say thanks for coming and making the trip and being on the show.

01:50:50.140 And, uh, more importantly, um, thanks for making so many people better.

01:50:54.500 The people are better because of you.

01:50:56.640 That's means the world.

01:50:57.940 Yeah, there's a lot, like Vaughn and I have been having a lot of discussions about where

01:51:01.220 we want to take the podcast and, you know, we've had all the Instagram entrepreneurs on

01:51:07.020 here and honestly, man, like we're getting away from that.

01:51:10.120 Uh, I don't feel good about that direction.

01:51:13.720 I really want to showcase and feature people that are really doing good things.

01:51:18.880 Um, not necessarily talking about doing good things just to make money, which is what I've

01:51:23.460 realized a lot about the space.

01:51:25.000 Um, the entrepreneur space.

01:51:27.000 We're actually talking about taking the podcast a completely new direction, honestly.

01:51:31.380 Um, which is, which will be fun.

01:51:33.860 Like a, like a fitness modeling type of thing, maybe.

01:51:36.620 No, dude, you're trying to see hot girls. 1.00

01:51:39.460 No, you know, I was talking about me.

01:51:41.280 I was going to do the fitness modeling because I'm getting swole.

01:51:44.160 You are, you actually could, I think.

01:51:45.660 Well, you know, I'm working on it.

01:51:47.040 Dude, you look good, man.

01:51:48.280 Thanks, man.

01:51:48.900 Yeah.

01:51:49.180 You want me to take it off here?

01:51:50.200 Yeah.

01:51:50.580 No, I was off.

01:51:51.780 Hey, you know what?

01:51:53.200 I'm, I'm not, I'm secure, dude.

01:51:54.780 You look good.

01:51:55.560 Like real good.

01:51:56.080 Well, I'm not coming to any pool parties because I don't want to.

01:51:58.800 You look better than anybody else there.

01:52:00.420 I don't want to cause any problems, you know?

01:52:04.680 Like Tyler.

01:52:05.840 Yeah, exactly.

01:52:06.640 You know?

01:52:07.780 Tyler, I think Vaughn looks better than you, bro.

01:52:09.940 Hey, let's take the shirts off. 0.85

01:52:11.360 So I'll tell you what.

01:52:12.560 Tyler's got, I mean, I'll hand it to Tyler.

01:52:14.760 Tyler's got good calves.

01:52:16.260 I got, I'm, I'm still working on it.

01:52:18.480 You're like the whole package though, right?

01:52:19.700 I am the whole package.

01:52:20.800 That's true.

01:52:21.260 But yeah, see, you guys are so funny in your calves.

01:52:23.420 Yeah.

01:52:23.780 Many, many men are very interested in their calves.

01:52:25.920 I don't know if I don't, maybe it's just not me.

01:52:27.840 That's because she's had a brats about it all the time. 1.00

01:52:30.060 I used to have really, I used to have really good legs.

01:52:32.900 I won the leg contest on prom night. 0.99

01:52:35.380 Get the fuck out of here, dude. 1.00

01:52:37.360 I'm like, we just talked about telling lies. 1.00

01:52:39.800 No, no.

01:52:40.200 Now you're telling a lie.

01:52:40.820 Doesn't make them a liar though.

01:52:41.980 They had this thing where they had, they had this big sheet of paper and all the guys walked

01:52:44.560 behind it and they only saw your legs.

01:52:46.860 And I won that.

01:52:47.680 You had pants on.

01:52:48.040 I won that.

01:52:48.620 No, I didn't know.

01:52:49.460 I won that.

01:52:49.900 But now that I'm older, my legs have kind of deteriorated.

01:52:52.000 So you took your pants off at prom with a bunch of other dudes?

01:52:53.780 No, dude, it was in the early 90s.

01:52:56.400 You had really short shorts.

01:52:58.120 At prom.

01:52:58.580 At prom?

01:52:59.460 Yeah.

01:52:59.820 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:53:00.340 It was the after prom party.

01:53:01.700 That's what it was. 0.99

01:53:01.960 See, now you're just making shit up. 0.99

01:53:03.300 No, it's after prom party. 0.99

01:53:04.940 Hutchinson High School.

01:53:05.800 I have an answer for pictures of this.

01:53:06.360 Men in shorts and a prom picture and boot in years.

01:53:10.240 It's like when Vaughn was talking about his karate belt.

01:53:12.560 Yeah, right.

01:53:13.940 Dude, I'm a green belt.

01:53:15.840 Shall I mess you up?

01:53:17.100 Dude, Dave's Asian. 1.00

01:53:19.920 I know. 1.00

01:53:20.460 But if you karate chop your ass in half. 1.00

01:53:22.780 Hey, Dave does not self-identify as Asian. 1.00

01:53:27.100 That's true.

01:53:28.100 That's true.

01:53:28.720 But that doesn't mean he doesn't have the inherent ability of-

01:53:31.120 That's true. 0.99

01:53:31.560 Like, this is some racist shit we're saying right now. 1.00

01:53:35.360 Like, all of you Asian motherfuckers, like, you guys know karate, right? 1.00

01:53:39.540 I'm triggered. 1.00

01:53:40.300 Well, my favorite movie is The Karate Kid.

01:53:45.400 And I've watched that, like-

01:53:46.380 Let me see your crane kit, bro.

01:53:47.360 20,000 times. 0.65

01:53:52.400 Dave is the least Asian dude, Asian dude ever. 1.00

01:53:55.400 He doesn't even like Asian food. 0.96

01:53:56.720 He doesn't even like Asian food.

01:53:58.120 Oh, man.

01:53:58.680 That's great.

01:53:59.200 Well, seriously, though, thank you so much for coming on.

01:54:01.400 Thank you so much for having me.

01:54:02.520 This was truly a pleasure, and I really hope that your audience found someone to benefit

01:54:06.700 from this.

01:54:07.600 For sure.

01:54:08.520 Let them know.

01:54:09.600 Tell them your Instagram handle.

01:54:11.000 Yeah, absolutely.

01:54:11.700 It's the.holistic.psychologist.

01:54:13.640 That's pretty much my main hub.

01:54:14.960 I'm there daily.

01:54:17.020 Living the work, just like everyone else that I'm always talking about doing.

01:54:21.340 But yeah, I have a YouTube channel, The Holistic Psychologist, also a website, yourholisticpsychologist.com.

01:54:26.760 But the Instagram is really the way to go.

01:54:28.140 Everything comes through there.

01:54:29.820 I love it.

01:54:30.120 And we'll shoot some links on our website to your stuff.

01:54:33.180 It's by far my favorite account to follow.

01:54:35.020 By far.

01:54:35.600 Not even close.

01:54:36.500 He's been saying that for a while.

01:54:37.500 Yeah.

01:54:37.800 I was saying that before we ever talked.

01:54:39.140 Yeah.

01:54:39.580 I thought it was me.

01:54:40.360 I thought I was his favorite account.

01:54:42.100 But you know.

01:54:42.300 I'm sorry, then, for the disappointment.

01:54:43.360 You know. 0.95

01:54:43.620 That sucks. 0.98

01:54:44.800 But no, yeah, we'll put links to your website and your social media contacts and all that good 0.97

01:54:49.980 stuff on our andyfricella.com website.

01:54:52.880 Cool.

01:54:53.500 Awesome.

01:54:53.960 Oh, you got an announcement.

01:54:55.160 Oh, thank you.

01:54:56.220 Yes.

01:54:56.760 So, for those of you who have been patiently waiting for the winners of the Delta Blue

01:55:02.380 Gene competition, I have them.

01:55:06.580 One of them, I'm not totally sure how to pronounce his name.

01:55:09.580 You always do that.

01:55:10.640 Just go right into it.

01:55:11.700 Well, you know, I'm really excited.

01:55:13.760 100-0, bro.

01:55:14.720 Just let it rip. 0.67

01:55:15.620 These are two super fans.

01:55:17.200 The first one is Jairo Bernal, who's the MFCO machinist.

01:55:21.760 Yeah, that guy's a stud.

01:55:22.820 He's a stud.

01:55:23.440 He's a super fan, number one.

01:55:24.660 He made our coins.

01:55:25.540 Yes, he made our coins.

01:55:27.160 And I just, like, he has been...

01:55:28.660 I love that guy.

01:55:29.220 He's OG.

01:55:30.140 So, Jairo, and I'm sorry, dude, if I'm misspelling it, but I think you told me that's how you

01:55:34.040 pronounce it, not misspell it, but pronounce it.

01:55:36.700 Jairo Bernal, MFCO machinist.

01:55:39.100 You win Delta Jeans.

01:55:40.960 Second one is also a super fan.

01:55:43.240 She did 75 hard and it's been around for a while.

01:55:46.360 Her name is Tegan Funk.

01:55:48.060 Sweet.

01:55:48.840 Funky Town.

01:55:49.680 Funky Town.

01:55:50.340 Yeah.

01:55:50.860 So, both of those...

01:55:51.760 Those jeans are sick, too.

01:55:52.880 Yeah, they're going to get it.

01:55:53.820 So, we'll set you guys up.

01:55:54.920 We'll reach out to you, get your measurements and everything.

01:55:57.120 I'm not sure how they're...

01:55:57.800 Well, I guess we don't get the measurements, but...

01:55:59.340 Nick and those guys do.

01:56:00.040 Yeah, Nick and those guys do.

01:56:01.040 So, we'll connect you with Blue Delta Jeans and get you suited up. 0.82

01:56:05.880 All right, guys.

01:56:06.700 Thank you so much for listening.

01:56:08.060 Make sure that you guys follow Nicole and read her stuff, man.

01:56:12.040 It is...

01:56:12.880 I don't need to...

01:56:14.360 If you follow her at all, you know it's great, but for you guys that aren't, it is really great.

01:56:19.920 Really, really good stuff you're going to pull a lot from, so make sure you check her out.

01:56:23.600 And, guys, thank you so much for sharing the podcast.

01:56:25.960 Thank you so much for all the positive reviews and rankings.

01:56:29.400 Oh, excuse me.

01:56:30.060 I had the hiccup.

01:56:32.080 And that's the show.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 18, 2019

Peace, Power, and Living Your Ultimate Purpose, ft. Dr. Nicole LePera, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO306

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript