REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Setting the Record Straight on Success, with Andy Frisella

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, what's up? Welcome to the MF CEO Project. I'm Andy and I am the motherfucking

00:00:22.280 CEO. I'm here with my co-host, Mr. Vaughn Kohler, the pastor. What's up, dude?

00:00:27.620 Former pastor, but yeah, thanks. The pastor, Vaughn. Once a pastor, always a pastor. That's

00:00:31.780 right. And my good friend, Ben Newman, speaker extraordinaire. What's up, dude? What's going

00:00:36.560 on, Andy? How are you? Hey, man, I'm fired up, ready to go. Yeah, me too. We have a special

00:00:40.960 guest in the podcast here today, the OG, the original MFCE dad. My dad, Big Jim, what's

00:00:51.140 up? What's up, though? I'm the original sperm donor, I think. There's never been any.

00:00:57.620 DNA stuff. Some days I think he is, and some days I think he's not. I'm not sure. Some

00:01:02.140 days, maybe. We've talked about him a couple times on the podcast. I want to get him on

00:01:06.960 here, and he's going to be chiming in with probably some stupid shit, probably some informative

00:01:16.120 shit. Like father, like son, huh? So you'll see where I get it from. Anyhow, let's start

00:01:22.320 with the question of the day. Vaughn. Yes. Former pastor. Yes. All right. Dude, is the

00:01:29.200 world ending? Are we coming? Is the world coming to an end? Because I just saw this

00:01:34.380 thing. We're having like four blood moons. Yeah. Okay. Friday the 13th is Halloween this

00:01:39.460 year. The last time it was on Friday the 13th was 666 days. Wow. Or 666 years before that.

00:01:48.000 Where'd you hear that? Dude, I read it. It's got to be true. It was online. Clearly. Yeah,

00:01:52.600 clearly. All right. Then we have people fucking shooting each other on the fucking highway this

00:01:58.120 morning, national news. We've got all this racial fucking bullshit going on, you know, between

00:02:04.280 people who are supposed to get along and be normal humans. We have, you know.

00:02:11.080 Caitlyn Jenner. I mean, yeah. We've got Caitlyn Jenner. We've just got all this crazy shit going

00:02:15.820 on. I mean, what I need to know from a religious expert, which is why we have you here, is the

00:02:22.040 world coming to an end? I have no idea, but I will tell you this, whether it is or not,

00:02:27.180 it shouldn't have. I mean, you should live the way that you're supposed to live, whether it's

00:02:31.300 coming to an end or not. You know what I'm saying? I guess. Yeah. Well, I mean, we have a book on the

00:02:37.500 table here that says how to live with a huge penis. The world has got to be coming to an end.

00:02:43.560 How does that tie into a blood moon? I don't know. You know what's interesting about that?

00:02:47.240 But I'm just putting in all these truths, and I'm tying it together, and I think the

00:02:51.180 world's coming to an end. So what I think we need to do is we need to have, like, the

00:02:57.040 coolest podcast ever, and, like, just, like, while the world's ending, we can just report

00:03:01.860 on it. Right. Well, to your point, though, I think people are too obsessed about that kind

00:03:06.760 of stuff instead of just saying, every day, I could die, so how am I living? Rather than

00:03:11.740 the end of the world, just saying, every day, I'm going to die someday, so how am I

00:03:15.840 living? Yeah, there's no question. People lose sight of that. Yeah. Every day. I mean,

00:03:19.560 every day. Every day, people wake up, they go through the motions, they go to work, they

00:03:24.420 come home. They say, oh, you know what? What I really want to be, I'll start that

00:03:30.200 tomorrow. You know, and then on, you know, the day they're ready to start, they get hit

00:03:34.800 by a fucking bus on the way home from work. You know what I mean? Right. It just seems to

00:03:39.340 always happen that way, and people need to start realizing that our time here is definitely

00:03:45.520 not guaranteed, and it is limited, you know, and that's what we try to come with here. We

00:03:51.620 try to get perspective on you guys. We try to bring information that's going to help

00:03:56.940 you get to where you want to be, and yeah, we're going to curse. Yeah, we're going to

00:03:59.680 say offensive things. It is called the motherfucking CEO for a reason, because I am really tired,

00:04:06.260 tired, and a lot of us are tired, clearly, by the amount of downloads, thank you very

00:04:10.380 much, that we are seeing, of the fluffy, butterfly, pixie dust, everybody fucking wins

00:04:16.260 attitude that's been bred into our society for the last 20 years. So if that's your

00:04:21.620 style, if you want to go hear about how things, you know, might be or should be and

00:04:26.340 not how they are, this probably isn't the podcast for you. Right. So anyhow, that's the

00:04:31.880 question of the day. Is the world ending? What do you think, Ben? I really would love

00:04:36.420 to hear a Bible verse from Vaughn, because I've never really bought into any of this stuff.

00:04:40.560 You know, the world is coming to, I mean, really, the world is coming to an end based

00:04:44.160 on what? Dude, I just thought of a new segment we can have. We could have Vaughn

00:04:48.000 rap Bible verses. Oh, shit. Yeah. Tyler is laughing. This would be awesome. All right. So

00:04:55.960 every segment, every day. So Vaughn, you better be ready next time. I'll be ready. Vaughn's

00:05:00.420 going to come in. He's going to rap a verse. All right. I'll be ready. Yeah. There's

00:05:04.740 actually a rapper named Lecrae. Lecrae? Yeah. He's a Christian. He's a Christian. He's a

00:05:10.260 Christian rapper. And he's so good that there are a lot of people who are not

00:05:13.360 Christian that really like him. Wow. What does he rap about? He has like one of the

00:05:16.160 top iTunes downloads. You know, I don't, I don't know the last time I, I can't tell you

00:05:22.820 the last time I listened to him. Do you do your white boy boogie? I do the white man's

00:05:26.700 overbite. No, but, uh, you know, we should have a, we, I don't know. We should

00:05:32.320 every, see that Vaughn's coming out of his shell. He wants to rap. No, I was

00:05:35.480 going to say every episode, new vibe to him over there. I think it may come out

00:05:39.760 every, every episode we should have a segment of just deep thoughts with

00:05:42.680 pastor Vaughn. What do you think? I think it should be, I agree. I'll, we, we

00:05:46.180 will allow that as long as it's a rap format. All right. I'll, I'll plan that ahead

00:05:50.120 of time. I think as much trouble as he gets for coming over to the dark side, I think

00:05:53.200 we need to have some pastor thoughts. That's true. No, he still has it in him.

00:05:57.200 That's true. Cause I've given, I've given my soul over to the life of podcasts and

00:06:02.120 riches on the former pastor. And now he's podcaster, uh, slash riches, bitches.

00:06:10.200 Dude, we get, we get, we get a fucking email sent to us that says, Vaughn, what's it

00:06:13.980 like to turn your back on God and become a podcaster for the life of riches? I mean,

00:06:18.800 dude, there's something fucking wrong with people. I haven't seen it. The world's

00:06:22.020 definitely coming to you. You know, Andy keeps promising it, but I haven't seen it

00:06:25.020 yet. So, and I know he's got this big tub of like, like you said, last episode, you

00:06:28.640 got this big pool of gold bullion. Yeah. Like Scrooge. Yeah. Scrooge, Scrooge

00:06:32.340 McDuck. Yeah, that's right. So, so anyway, all right guys. So like today what we're

00:06:37.580 going to do is we're going to talk about one of the most commonly misunderstood

00:06:40.540 words in the English language. We talked a lot about this privately. Um, I'm

00:06:45.800 interested to hear what my dad has to say about it because I don't think we've

00:06:48.200 ever talked about this before. We talked about a lot of things, but, um, we're

00:06:52.540 going to talk about the true meaning of success. You know, I call the young guys

00:06:55.880 coming up. You guys all know if you follow me, I call them the young bucks.

00:06:58.960 All right. And the young bucks coming up, man, they're always looking at, at the

00:07:04.020 material things, you know? And when I was young, that's what I looked at too. I

00:07:06.860 looked at the cars. I looked at the house. I looked at the lifestyle and I'm like,

00:07:10.640 man, you know, that's going to be awesome. And that's what I strived for. Okay. And,

00:07:14.340 and, and you think, okay, once I get to that, I'll be successful. I'm holding up

00:07:19.200 quote unquote, you know? Um, and today we're going to talk about the real meaning

00:07:23.920 of success and what that means and why it's important for you to understand that

00:07:27.780 now, as opposed for you to spend the next 20 years chasing something, get there and

00:07:32.860 realize that it's not exactly what you want. Okay. So we're going to talk about the

00:07:37.020 meaning of success and, and to start us off, um, I think you wanted me to, what, what

00:07:42.500 do you, yeah, it was, it's funny that we were talking about spiritual things. Cause

00:07:45.460 you kind of had this sort of Moses up on the Mount Sinai moment where you

00:07:50.460 realized something about success. What was it like a year or two? Yeah, man. Uh,

00:07:54.680 so I have this forever growing up and my dad knows this, like when we were little

00:08:00.000 kids, um, he was real good about instilling in us, you know, Hey, if you work

00:08:04.900 hard and you do this, you could have that, you know? And he would point to the

00:08:07.920 things we'd see a cool car or we talk about shit and he'd be like, yeah, but you've

00:08:11.320 got to work to get that. Right. And so I've always grown up in my business wanting to

00:08:18.420 get to a certain point financially thinking like, Oh, that's where I need to be. Okay.

00:08:23.400 And, um, so about a year and a half ago, um, I got pneumonia. All right. And I got sick

00:08:32.720 and I missed over three weeks, three full weeks of work. And what that, when I had

00:08:36.400 pneumonia, I couldn't leave the house. I was in the house every day, sitting on the

00:08:40.760 couch, drinking fucking beers, hanging out, you know, watching Pacific Rim 47

00:08:45.760 fucking times, which surprisingly enough, that movie is still fucking on all the

00:08:50.720 time. It's been on for like two years. Like, do you guys have network? Is it? I

00:08:55.820 got dish network. Oh, what do you guys have? AT&T. What do you have?

00:09:00.860 DirecTV. Well, yeah, I have, I have DirecTV too, but I mean, that's whoever programs the

00:09:07.540 movies on cable and dish and all that. You motherfuckers are lazy. Switch up the fucking

00:09:11.960 movies. Okay. Because I've seen Pacific Rim 317 times and it's still good. All right.

00:09:21.000 There's nothing cooler than big giant robots fighting each other. Right. All right. But

00:09:24.440 the point is this, I sat on the couch. All right. We were doing great business at that

00:09:29.200 time, which we're still, we're doing much better now. I was at a point where I was

00:09:34.120 recently married. You know, I have the nice cars. I have the nice house. I make a

00:09:39.640 great money. I make a better money than I ever had. And I'm sitting on the couch, not

00:09:44.220 lifting a fucking finger. And I thought a lot about where I was. And, you know, you

00:09:49.220 have a lot of time to think when you're, when you can't even leave the house, you

00:09:51.860 know, it's, it's a, it's like being a prisoner of your own brain, especially when

00:09:55.920 you're somebody who thinks about things. And I started thinking, I'm like, man, you

00:10:02.400 know, like, this is like what everybody wants. You know, you can sit on the house,

00:10:06.600 you could do whatever the fuck you want. You've got everything you need. And, you

00:10:10.920 know, here I am making all this money and I'm not doing shit. This is, you know, this

00:10:14.880 is what people want, except for I was miserable. I hated it. I was unfulfilled. I

00:10:20.580 didn't feel good about it. I, I missed my people at work. I missed going to work. I

00:10:26.340 miss being around the people I'm working with. And, um, it gave me some perspective

00:10:31.720 that I think I needed because up until that point, it was just about really just

00:10:35.800 chasing those goals that I had set earlier, you know? And, uh, what I came to

00:10:41.440 realize for myself is that success isn't, and this is going to sound corny and it's

00:10:47.220 going to sound like what fucking everybody says, but success isn't a

00:10:51.720 destination. It's not a point in time that you reach. Okay. It's about

00:10:56.380 fulfilling your ultimate potential. You know, I, and that's how I define it. I

00:11:00.780 define success as fulfilling your potential. Okay. And what that means is

00:11:04.820 that it's not a destination. Okay. And we all see that quote, success is not a

00:11:10.120 destination. It's a journey, but there is truth to that. I never really thought about

00:11:14.400 it as a real thing, but it's the point between where you are and where you can

00:11:22.360 be, not where you want to be because where you think you want to be, you know,

00:11:26.500 at the time I was 34 years old when that happened and I'm pretty much exactly where

00:11:31.320 I wanted to be in all aspects. So what do you do the rest of your life? Do you just

00:11:36.280 sit at home and do nothing, you know? And I think people misunderstand the point of

00:11:42.740 what success is until they get to that point and then they look around. And so

00:11:47.080 what we're trying to get to guys is this, we want to talk about this because we want

00:11:51.600 you to realize, and you always hear these things like you especially hear this from

00:11:56.240 unambitious people or people who aren't, you know, moving forward in their life. And

00:12:01.440 they say shit like this, it's not success isn't about money. You know, success is not

00:12:06.060 about material things. Success is not blah, blah, blah. And that's true. That's a hundred

00:12:11.160 percent true. But there's a difference between understanding that you are on a path to fulfill

00:12:16.600 your potential and using that as a fucking excuse to go sit in the corner and not do the

00:12:21.740 fucking work. Totally two different things, right?

00:12:25.220 Yeah. When you first told me that story, the thing that I found most compelling about it was

00:12:29.300 you kept on saying, you are the measure of your own success. You, you, you. And I know

00:12:34.340 you have, I, you and I have talked about this is that most people don't think about

00:12:38.420 that. They, most people think of it in terms of comparison. Like how do I measure up to

00:12:43.160 Andy or how do I measure up to Ben or how do I measure up to somebody else? And I know

00:12:47.020 you've told me before that that's not only an unwise thing to do. It's, it's really being

00:12:52.760 unfair to yourself. Well, yeah. Cause you don't really start at the same place as

00:12:57.520 everybody else. You know, I've got this guy here who raised me and my brother to be

00:13:03.020 competitive. He raised us to do the right thing. He raised us to, uh, always do the best that

00:13:09.420 we can. And he would happen to be in business. Um, you know, what happening? I was in business

00:13:15.900 by my own choice. I know, but, but, but I couldn't choose being born into somebody who

00:13:20.980 owned their own business. I can remember pulling up to school one day when we were, uh, going

00:13:25.740 to, um, grade school and it was like, you know, eight 30 and I'm like, I, and this is when

00:13:30.560 I first realized that what he did for a living, I said, Hey, isn't your boss going to be going

00:13:36.420 to be mad at you for like being late, you know, dropping us off. And he's like, well,

00:13:39.420 no, cause I am the boss, you know? And I'm like, Oh, well, that's pretty fucking cool.

00:13:44.660 But you know, tell, tell him your story a little bit about how you got, how you just

00:13:48.300 and take your time, tell them how you got in business and what you did.

00:13:51.440 It, the, the, the story starts with my dad and, and, uh, that's all I could say. He

00:13:56.520 was in business. He was an electrical contractor. He had like 15 guys that worked for him. And

00:14:01.820 literally when we were, we had, there was seven boys, uh, five in a row and they, we had 12

00:14:07.740 kids. There was seven boys and five girls. So, but the first five boys were, were about

00:14:14.900 one year apart. So we, we basically lived in like a, a dog zoo, if you want to say that,

00:14:21.080 you know, throw the kids a bone. It was always fist fighting and punching and screaming. But

00:14:25.320 my dad made us work always. He made us go out and earn money. He, he made us clean the trucks. He

00:14:31.120 made us, uh, do all the things. This is when we're five years old, six years old, seven years old.

00:14:38.280 And by the time I was 10, I could wire a house. By the time I was 15, I was a full electrician. I could

00:14:43.760 do anything under the sun. And he, he would. How many houses you burned down? Oh, I don't know.

00:14:50.220 That was before they had the battery powered drills and all the things now. And he, he would

00:14:56.340 put us on a house and we had hand, hand tools, uh, the old tool, the drill that went like this,

00:15:02.560 which you can't see on his podcast, but you did it by hand and he would put us in a house

00:15:07.300 and he'd mark little yellow, red, green, and blue, uh, uh, marks on a two by fours.

00:15:13.600 And we'd drill the holes and we would wire the whole house that way. It would be five little

00:15:18.000 guys. And the owner was never there when we did that. I know that. Of course, free labor.

00:15:23.380 Nowadays you go to jail for this shit. Yeah. But we learned responsibility. We learned how to work.

00:15:29.020 We, we, we dug all the ditches. We climbed in the attics. We climbed in the holes with the snakes

00:15:33.740 underneath the houses. And, uh, that's how we grew up. And, and he literally quite a bit

00:15:41.020 different than, uh, sticking your kids in front of a Nintendo. No, we didn't have a Nintendo.

00:15:45.440 You wonder why, you wonder why there's such a big giant gap in the, but one of the, one of the,

00:15:51.540 one of the things, and there's so many rules and, uh, so many rules that, that he, I would say,

00:15:58.680 I always said beat it in our head, but it was the same thing I did with Andrew and Sal beat it in

00:16:03.180 her head. Everything's a lesson. I was, you know, you want to be the best. You do the best. You go

00:16:08.880 twice as hard. You got superpower. You can do, you want to get beat by that guy. Why would you want to

00:16:13.180 get beat by somebody else? You want to be better than him. And it's up to you. It's not up to somebody

00:16:18.280 else. It's you. And you got it in your power. Not me, not me myself. It's you. It's you. It's you.

00:16:24.100 It's you. And, and, and, uh, uh, we, we were always about athletics and I'm getting kind of

00:16:30.640 off the story here, but it was athletically selling and we're both gifted and both of them,

00:16:37.180 uh, in, in soccer. I mean, this is started in the company here was the, was the kill chant.

00:16:42.920 Yeah. And, and, uh, I tell him, go out in the soccer field. I said, those, they're your enemy.

00:16:48.700 You go out there and you want to kill them. This is like right over five years old. Okay. So

00:16:52.580 you're like, he's like sensei from karate kid. Yeah. Right. The bad guy except for like,

00:17:00.440 dude, it wasn't, you guys don't understand. And, and people don't understand. And when I tell this

00:17:06.360 story, people fucking think that I'm either bullshitting or they think that I'm fucking

00:17:10.420 crazy or they think that you're crazy. But like, we have this chant that we do here at our company

00:17:15.340 called kill, kill, kill. Okay. So after every meeting, everybody puts their hands in and we

00:17:20.500 fucking do the chant. All right. That chance started when I was five or six years old on

00:17:25.580 the way to soccer games. All right. We'd be in the back of the fucking car going to the

00:17:30.240 soccer game and, and most likely Sal and I would be fighting. And, and the deal was, is okay.

00:17:36.820 If you scored a goal or if you hurt another kid, you get to get a pick on a toy. All right.

00:17:42.040 There's always a payoff. Yeah. So, so we went to, uh, and I'm serious, dude, this is dead serious.

00:17:47.700 So we would go to the games and he would go, all right, look, it's time to get serious.

00:17:52.360 Quit fucking around back there. Blah, blah, blah. And he'd give us a speech and say, all

00:17:55.120 right, now what are you going to do when you get there? And we'd be like, kill. And he'd

00:18:00.400 be like, what are you going to do? And we'd be like, kill. And we'd be like, what are you

00:18:04.000 going to do? And we'd be like, kill, kill, kill. We went out there and fucking kill these

00:18:07.180 kids, dude. I mean, it would just be pure brutality. Like you're, you would go to jail today.

00:18:12.900 So to your point, you, you, you benefited from a legacy of hard work.

00:18:17.180 Oh, no question. It was their thought, their, their thought process that I instilled in

00:18:23.260 them was the fact that if you do your best, it wasn't about killing somebody or hurting

00:18:28.400 them. They didn't, they understood that. That wasn't, it wasn't it. The way to score that

00:18:32.600 goal was over that guy, not around him. And if you ran right at him and, and this is the

00:18:38.920 way most people are, unfortunately, they'll get the hell out of the way because they're scared.

00:18:42.740 Right. They, they, they never were taught those rules. Right. You have it in your power.

00:18:47.820 I don't, you know. Well, I was, I was teasing you and calling you sensei, but all kidding

00:18:51.320 aside, I don't even know what it is. Well, he, you don't know the sensei from karate kid.

00:18:56.240 Listen, you're, you guys are young guys. Well, but to your point though, you, you, it, to

00:19:01.900 me, you're, you're teaching your kids something that most people don't teach their kids, which

00:19:05.360 is the value of competition. The value of competition, the value of taking responsibility. If

00:19:10.480 you've heard him say 30 times already, it's about you. It's about what you do. It's not

00:19:15.160 about what the other guy does or what, you know, it's about taking responsibility for

00:19:19.620 what you do in your life. Yeah. This was never about hurting somebody. And that, and that

00:19:25.400 concept gets through with people that don't understand. No, they don't. Andrew Sale and I

00:19:28.780 understand perfectly. And maybe it's about being aggressive. Go out and kill it. I mean,

00:19:32.480 just go do your bet. Go out and absolutely kill it. It was about being aggressive. It

00:19:36.580 was about going out, going in the fucking corner. And he would always say puck. Okay.

00:19:42.100 But it was soccer. Cause our older brother is a, was a hockey player. And so he got in

00:19:46.080 the habit of saying puck. So you'd be like, you go in the corner, you get aggressive, you

00:19:49.360 go in the corner and you come out with the fucking puck. All right. I did curse back then.

00:19:54.520 But it was, he still curses. He's still, before we put him on this podcast 10 minutes

00:19:59.280 ago, he doesn't even know what a fuck a podcast is. We had to explain it to him. Okay. So,

00:20:03.940 and then come to find out he's got a periscope. He said he's going live. I'm going live right

00:20:09.920 now. Four followers. Right. So Ben, you, you've been waiting patiently to say something. I pay

00:20:17.620 attention to the things that people say. And if everybody heard big Jim, he called them

00:20:23.020 rules, not lessons. And there's a big difference between a rule and a lesson. A rule is this

00:20:29.200 is the way that it is. If you want to be successful, this is a rule of life as opposed to here's

00:20:34.300 a lesson. A lesson is I'm going to go to school. I don't like what the teacher says. Maybe I'm

00:20:38.500 going to listen. Maybe I'm not a rule here. He's looking at his boys in the eyes and saying,

00:20:43.080 you want to be successful in life, son? This is the rule. Follow it. You'll be successful

00:20:47.680 and look at the by-product. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Okay. So, so we'll talk more about

00:20:51.940 how you started your company here in a little bit. But the point we're making here is that

00:20:55.500 you can't, you cannot judge yourself against other people because you have no fucking idea

00:21:01.560 where that person came from. See, I, you guys look at me and you say, blah, blah, blah.

00:21:07.280 Look at all this shit. And yes, we have a great story. Yes. We started with very little finances

00:21:12.700 and we've turned them into a lot of finances. Yes. It's taken a long time. And yes, it took

00:21:17.980 a lot of fucking blood, sweat, and tears, but here's the reality. I also had a lot in

00:21:22.600 my brain to start with that I had from being born into, into something, you know, and you

00:21:29.420 can't help that. So, and which is the reason we do this, right? That's the reason we're even

00:21:33.520 doing this podcast. We don't get paid to do this. We do this because we want to bring the

00:21:38.880 old school hardcore lessons to you that I learned that have helped me and that Ben, you know,

00:21:45.360 you guys have learned as well growing up, you know, and that's the point of the whole

00:21:50.580 show. And that's really why I wanted him to come on. He didn't even know he was coming

00:21:53.640 on until an hour ago. I just texted him and said, Hey, come up here. He's like, why?

00:21:57.000 I'm like to be on the podcast. So then I find out he calls Sal, my brother, and he's like,

00:22:01.800 what? Do I got to like dress nice and stuff? Or like, what do I got to do? Like he didn't

00:22:05.220 even, I'm like, no, it's a podcast. He's like, I've got a periscope. Wait, wait, wait,

00:22:08.600 I can't make it up there. I'm redoing my bathroom. I'm filthy dirty. I got a carpenter

00:22:13.480 working. I'm working with him. And I just got all this stuff. So I got to abandon him

00:22:18.100 and tell him I got to leave. And now I got to go back and I probably have the plumbing

00:22:23.320 in the wrong spot and this in the wrong spot, but I can make that do. Yeah. But that's okay.

00:22:27.740 Do I have to like get you cleaned up? Come on, you know, no, man, nobody can see you.

00:22:32.240 It's just audio. You know, the rules, you know, my question, I'm not surprised what these

00:22:39.680 guys do at all. I see it exactly. And I, my question is what's taking you so long?

00:22:43.900 Yeah. No shit. And like, but that's the same thing.

00:22:46.020 I don't, I just, not at all. I know what's in his brain and what's in Sal's brain. I,

00:22:50.220 it, you call it beat it in her brain. Uh, the rules of the rules of being successful

00:22:55.640 and the word success, I can define it 10 different ways. Yeah. And you know, and you,

00:22:59.740 right. Success is defined, uh, within your own, uh, world for different things. You got

00:23:08.460 social success, you got personal success, not, not just financial success. There's so many ways

00:23:14.660 you could just say it. And, and, uh, uh, but that, that, that's a big word and it's defined

00:23:22.360 differently by different people. And, um, it just isn't financial. You got to be whole and complete.

00:23:29.740 Cold and complete is, is, is, is one way of saying it. And lack of fulfillment is, is that's

00:23:36.160 very, very important to, uh, figure that out. You got to figure it out on your own. I can't,

00:23:41.620 I can't teach you that. Well, no, I know, but you got to figure it out all on your own.

00:23:45.780 Listen, man, I've already figured it out. That's what the whole story was about.

00:23:48.980 I do like what you said about, you know, what's taking you so long, because Andy, I know one of the

00:23:52.620 things that you've always talked about too, in, in terms of understanding success and why it's such a bad

00:23:57.220 idea to, uh, to compare yourself to other people is not just about what advantages that they have,

00:24:03.720 but also you don't know how long they've been at it.

00:24:05.960 Dude, I just had this conversation with, uh, with Steve Mayer, agent Steven on Instagram.

00:24:10.440 He's a good buddy of mine. Just talk to him on the phone this morning. We're talking about this.

00:24:14.020 He's 40. I just turned 36. Okay. And he was talking about going to a benefit for Matt Damon's

00:24:21.180 charity where there's, uh, all these dudes that have six, seven, eight, nine cars that

00:24:27.840 are million dollar plus cars. And we're, cause we both are car fanatics. So we're talking cars

00:24:31.780 and I'm like, I'm like, dude, you know, the thing is, is like when I'm around those guys,

00:24:40.000 I always feel like such a fucking loser because like, I'm not there yet. And he, and he, and he's

00:24:44.240 like, he's like, dude, me too. And then we're like, we're both like, yeah, but they're fucking

00:24:49.520 60 and you're 39. I'm 36. And if you had everything you wanted now, what is there to

00:24:56.200 fucking work for? What is there to progress for? What is there to push for? And so, you

00:25:01.000 know, you always have to keep in line, you know, it's some people are very, very bad about

00:25:07.780 placing themselves in a real position of where they are. Um, and that's called self-awareness.

00:25:13.180 You know, you want to develop the skill of being able to place yourself in an honest

00:25:17.820 fashion of where you are. You know, a lot of people are either very arrogant about how

00:25:21.980 much progress they made and they're not humble, or a lot of people feel so bad about the progress

00:25:26.780 that they haven't made that they're never like able to appreciate what they have actually

00:25:31.440 done. Let me, let me, uh, say something. I wasn't criticizing your project, what progress,

00:25:37.700 what I was really saying is, I know what you meant. I know, I know you and I do, but I

00:25:43.160 for other people on the other side of this microphone, you know, who the hell they are.

00:25:48.840 I don't know who they are. There's somebody out there. That's, it's, it's not, I'm not

00:25:53.940 criticizing at all. There's a turtle, turtle, turtle, tortoise and a hare. No, the thing is

00:25:58.280 what you were saying is this, it's you guys like when I say like when people call me successful,

00:26:03.700 like I, you guys heard me say that I get really fucking annoyed by that. You know what I mean?

00:26:08.080 Because I personally feel like we should be so much further along than what we are. And,

00:26:14.020 and that's just the nature of somebody who is driven, who wants to progress and wants to succeed.

00:26:21.220 That's, that's a natural feeling. You know, the people who say, Oh dude, I fucking made it. Those

00:26:26.420 are the people that lose everything they have. You know, they're sitting on the mountain looking down

00:26:30.200 or their little anthill that they think is a mountain looking down saying, Oh, I'm the greatest.

00:26:34.720 And then guess what? We talked about this on a, on two podcasts ago. I'll be humble. You know,

00:26:39.400 they're not humble enough to realize that like, Hey, I've had a little bit of success, which is me.

00:26:43.520 I've had a little bit of success. There's people who are fucking thousand times more in every area

00:26:49.760 than I have ever progressed. So you have to be able to look at that. And like, that's, you know,

00:26:56.240 that's what I was trying to get out with that story about Steve. You know, Steve's a very successful

00:26:59.160 dude. You know, he, he just bought a $2 million fucking car, you know? Um, we're, we're, we're

00:27:06.620 both the same. We're both like, fuck dude. There's, we're like so far behind where we should

00:27:10.440 be. And that's a mentality. And I think that's what, I mean, you have the same mentality.

00:27:15.640 Well, your, your, your little story you told before about looking backwards, present in the

00:27:22.720 future. I mean, there's a, I'll give you a little bit different version. It's the same version,

00:27:27.740 but a little bit different words. Uh, we'll use the word happiness versus success. And those,

00:27:34.420 those are not the same words, but they're close. And it's defined that the journey,

00:27:40.680 the journey is the part, you didn't even know when you're on a journey all the time,

00:27:44.120 you're on a journey or we're on a journey right now, right? You're on a journey right now. And

00:27:47.720 when you, when you look back, your world is defined by successes you had and failures.

00:27:53.880 And if you have more successes and failures, you look back and you say, man, I was freaking

00:27:58.420 good, man. And you, and you get happy about that. Right. And if you stop and you stop there

00:28:05.920 and you just keep looking back, man, you're dead. Right. It's a great point. Yeah. I mean,

00:28:09.940 that's, that's, but I've seen so many people and I'm not going to name names. You and I

00:28:14.740 have seen people that have amassed fucking fortunes. And when I say you and I, I'm pointing

00:28:19.600 at my dad, they have amassed fortunes and fucking lost them because of that exact point.

00:28:25.300 Yeah. And then, you know, looking forward to the future, you, you got to define that

00:28:28.900 future over and over and over again. It's not, it's not. And what you think will make

00:28:33.120 you happy isn't always what it is, but you've got to have goals and, and you got to wake

00:28:37.520 up and say, man, I'm going to go buy that $2 million car. Right. That's, that's what

00:28:41.840 it is. But it's not just that guys. And that's, that's what we're trying to do.

00:28:45.300 No, no, no, it, it, it's, it's not, uh, it's, it's that complete picture, which maybe it took

00:28:52.900 me a long time to figure this out. It was 35 before I kind of got it. And you're at that

00:28:57.520 age where I got, man, I was in business, was making all kinds of money and I was doing

00:29:02.960 this and doing that. And I got to do everything in the world. You name me a place I've been, I've

00:29:06.880 been there. You name me something you've done, I'll top you. People nowadays think I'm full

00:29:10.860 of shit sometimes because they'll tell a story and I'll tell four of them. Do you know

00:29:15.240 what I mean? I've been here. He's been around the world, man. And, and, and, and, uh, that's

00:29:20.900 fine. I can brag about it. I don't even give a shit. I mean, you know, I'm still the same

00:29:25.120 guy I was. I'm not any different. I don't, my ego is I wake up happy every day. I look

00:29:32.300 around, I wait for somebody to fuck it up and I'm going to fuck them up. Kill, kill, kill.

00:29:38.000 No, but you don't, don't disturb me. I'm a rattlesnake, but I'm, I'm happy. You know

00:29:42.380 what I am? I wake up and you mean like, you mean like a fucking grizzly Adams next door

00:29:47.480 to your next door. My dad's arch enemy is grizzly Adams, his next door neighbor. That's

00:29:52.100 what he calls him.

00:29:52.720 What's really impressive about you, big Jim though, is, and I've, I've heard this because

00:29:56.320 Andy has been accused of, Oh, he just rode the coattails of his, of his dad. And yeah,

00:30:01.420 right. And that's, what's really impressive to you is that in spite of all your success,

00:30:05.000 you made your son do it himself. I didn't make him do it. He did it on his own. I, I

00:30:10.540 encouraged him and we, we had a million conversations. I can remember doing shit. I can remember doing

00:30:15.880 shit. Remember when you made me and Rob and Chris build that fucking fence in the backyard,

00:30:20.040 dude, it was 150 fucking degrees outside. I swear it was the hottest. It's the hottest

00:30:26.540 I've ever remembered it. And we had to build this fence around his swimming pool. And that

00:30:32.020 doesn't sound like a lot of work, but dude, we had to dig the post holes. It was rock and

00:30:36.300 it was like fucking pure rock. And so dude, to dig one hole, you know, it sucks. Right?

00:30:40.560 Normally you guys, everybody here has probably dug a post hole. It's dude, those fucking things

00:30:45.040 suck. You know, I'm not talking about with like an auger. I'm talking about with the thing

00:30:48.700 you get at home Depot that you just throw in the ground. Right. All right, dude, 50 million

00:30:54.660 holes. And it's probably 200. No, dude, it took like, it seriously took like four weeks

00:31:01.140 to dig the fucking holes. Okay. But every day we had to go out there and dig the holes

00:31:05.340 and that, and, and it's just shit like that, you know, learning the value of what work is

00:31:10.020 that puts people at an advantage. And today now, you know, parents are afraid to make their

00:31:15.520 kids fucking get off the goddamn fucking video. Instead they make them, you know, they say,

00:31:20.940 Oh, Johnny, you know, I'm going to make you fold your laundry. That's not fucking work.

00:31:25.340 You know, make them fucking work. That's what's wrong with our fucking society right now. You

00:31:29.880 know, people think work is folding their t-shirts at maximum for 10 minute break off of doom or

00:31:35.880 whatever the fuck they're playing now. See, but this is what fired me up when Andy and I first

00:31:40.580 met and the opportunity to be challenged by you, to be inspired by you, to grow together,

00:31:45.300 to talk about doing tours around the world, to do all these things is because of that mindset

00:31:49.880 that came from your rules. And I will never forget the second time we're ever together.

00:31:54.920 We sat in your training room and we were doing stuff on the whiteboard. And I wish you guys

00:31:59.720 could have been there to see this. I would ask Andy questions. He'd talk about, no, it's the next

00:32:04.380 level. It's where we're going with first form. Then he would talk about what he wanted to do as a

00:32:08.360 speaker and, and the opportunity to inspire you and to go and allow you to realize your unrealized

00:32:14.760 potential. That is your success. It's saying it doesn't, the dollars don't matter. What matters

00:32:19.800 is I have more inside of me that I can give to this business. I have more inside of me that I can

00:32:25.800 give to other people and you're doing it and you're not even close to being done because all you want

00:32:30.840 to do every single day, correct me if I'm wrong, is wake up and tap into that unrealized potential

00:32:35.800 because today is the day that you have. You got none other than today and it's an opportunity to work

00:32:40.660 your ass off. And that mindset has been lost in the world today, dude. First of all, yeah, not by

00:32:46.980 everybody. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Too many, by too many, by too many. And that's the point of what

00:32:55.020 we're talking about here. That's the point of this. That's why it's called a project. That's why we call

00:33:00.740 it the MFCEO project. People are like, why do you call it the MFCEO project? Well, first of all, it's the

00:33:06.900 motherfucking CEO. All right. Because everybody in society is so fucking pussy now that they can't

00:33:13.720 handle a fuck. Well, fuck, fuck, fuck. That's what I'm going to say. All right. Second of all,

00:33:19.560 it's a project because that mentality in general for most fucking people has been lost. It's been lost

00:33:27.440 because when we go to school and we grow up, we're taught, we are taught by people

00:33:32.640 who are in situations that they have accepted in life. Okay. So the kids fucking get set in front

00:33:43.500 of doom. They get sent to school who, you know, and dude, I love teachers. Dude, my teachers had

00:33:49.600 tremendous influence on my life. That's why we do things for our high school. It's our biggest charity

00:33:53.880 that we give to you. All right. But they're not, for the most part, kids are not being taught

00:34:00.160 that, you know, Hey, kill, kill, kill, and go, go get it and be aggressive and don't worry about

00:34:07.080 what people say about you and face criticism. Instead, they're being taught, Hey, little Johnny,

00:34:13.080 it's okay. You know, that person just has, you know, they didn't take their fucking riddle in today,

00:34:17.600 you know, instead of being taught like, Hey, toughen the fuck up and go do it anyway.

00:34:22.880 You know, like we talk and that's why it's called a project because we're trying to bring a fucking

00:34:27.040 message that is just not being brought at this point in time. So I, you know, I find that,

00:34:33.780 that highly successful people, the ones that I've met, be it in sports or in boardrooms around the

00:34:38.160 world, it's one of two things. They either have these rules that they've learned growing up or they've

00:34:42.780 faced adversity in their life. Right. You know, my parents were divorced at six months old. I'm

00:34:47.180 seven years old, watching my mother come to the dinner table with an IV stand every single day.

00:34:52.660 My mother's dying in front of my eyes as a seven year old boy, 24 hour nursing care in our home.

00:34:58.420 And my mother is coming to the dinner table to ask me how my day was at school. And I don't talk about

00:35:03.060 this much, but after my mother passed away, my father moved back in, had challenges of his own

00:35:08.140 that resulted in him being passed out on the couch every single night when I got home from school.

00:35:12.560 And I thought daddy was tired. My dad was not tired. My dad had issues that he stared straight

00:35:18.340 in the face. So my whole life, it's been adversity. It's been challenged. It's been getting knocked

00:35:22.440 down. But you know what? I had people that surrounded me mentors and coaches and people

00:35:26.440 who loved on me to help me get up off the mat of life. And just because the world has told you,

00:35:31.160 maybe it isn't your time. You can choose to take a positive path. There are people who are going to

00:35:35.800 give you those rules, those guidelines, those coaches. And what frustrates me is when people say,

00:35:40.560 oh, somebody didn't take their riddle and they didn't do this. But you know what? It's their

00:35:44.200 choice. It's your choice to not respond positively. And there's perspective. And I've been through

00:35:49.660 enough where anytime something tries to shake me, I say, you better come harder because my mother came

00:35:54.620 to the dinner table with an IV stand. So you better come with some serious heat because you will not

00:35:58.560 break me. Right. And people need to have that mindset that you can persevere. You know, I mean,

00:36:04.720 we're talking, we could talk about 50 different points here, but I think to round out, you know,

00:36:09.400 our first point in our first segment here is, is that guys, it's you. Okay. You are the measure

00:36:16.180 of your own success. It doesn't fucking matter how much money you've made, how many businesses

00:36:20.500 you've started, how famous and influential you become. It's if you're not living up to the potential

00:36:25.820 you have, and you have still more in the tank to give and progress, you're going to be a fucking

00:36:31.400 failure. You're going to die with a bunch of regret. You're going to say, Hey, I could have done

00:36:35.300 boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Had I just given a little bit more. All right. That's the first

00:36:40.140 point of what we're talking about when we talk about success. Um, we've, we've got a lot more

00:36:44.760 to come. I'm going to toss it to Vaughn here real quick and let him do the extremely important,

00:36:49.140 um, technical stuff that Vaughn does. So, um, and, and, you know, go ahead and give that

00:36:55.340 information now before we move on to the next, next point. Sure. I'm going to make it quick because

00:36:58.580 we always have a lot of fire in our episodes, but you guys are on fuego right now. I think it's

00:37:04.320 because we care that much. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not kidding. This is, this is amazing,

00:37:08.820 but, uh, guys, if you want the show notes and the links galore to this episode, go to the MFCEO.com

00:37:15.380 forward slash P 14. Uh, we've got a lot of things that we're going to be getting up on the website.

00:37:20.560 We've got so much going on. It's, uh, it's a little overwhelming at times, but it's a great

00:37:25.040 privilege. And so keep, keep your eyes on the website. Uh, there'll be some products coming

00:37:28.920 out. We're just about to start production for a new course that, uh, Andy's going to do on, uh,

00:37:34.540 on risk-taking. So get ready for that in a couple months. And of course, uh, in the near future,

00:37:41.100 we've got the books coming down the pike at some, uh, sometime soon, but we're, we're working hard.

00:37:45.640 But, uh, in addition to that, we're just going to go around and real quick, uh, Ben, you're at

00:37:49.640 Continued Fight. At Continued Fight is Periscope, Instagram, Twitter, and then Ben Newman for

00:37:55.480 everything else. Okay. Uh, Andy Frisella on Instagram, um, and Periscope. Uh, I'm spending

00:38:02.560 a lot of time on Periscope guys. If you haven't, um, downloaded the app, you need to get on.

00:38:08.340 I think by this time, uh, when this show airs, I should be somewhere in the, in the top 40

00:38:13.840 on Periscope in the world. So, um, guys, I'm spending my majority of my time there. Come to

00:38:19.200 Periscope, check it out. It's an awesome app. It's very interactive. We get to speak one-on-one

00:38:23.880 very, very cool app. Uh, join the horses. And if you don't know what that means, hop on, get

00:38:29.340 me at Andy Frisella, join the horses. Giddy up motherfucker. And then we have a, we have my

00:38:35.520 Snapchat, which is MFCO dash one. Um, and I'm, you know, I, that's my behind the scenes stuff.

00:38:41.280 That's like, you know, I put a lot of car picks and stuff like that on there. Yeah. So I'm at

00:38:46.000 Vaughn Kohler, V-A-U-G-H-N-K-O-H-L-E-R. That's Instagram, Twitter, and, uh, MF, V-K-O dash

00:38:53.660 MFCEO on Snapchat. And I'm going to start Periscope next week, probably with a, uh, a

00:38:59.200 feedback for the MFCEO fans. Anybody who wants to share their feedback, I'll be listening

00:39:03.540 and that'll be next week. Well, next week, meaning the same week that this podcast comes

00:39:07.980 out. You finished your script is what you're saying. No, I didn't. I did. You know what I really

00:39:12.580 want to do. I, if I can get Andy to, to give me permission to this, cause this would be

00:39:16.220 a draw for people. I want to announce the, uh, the winners of the review contest on my

00:39:20.660 Periscope. That'd be cool. Can I do that? For sure. All right. Great. Great. Let me know.

00:39:23.940 Let me know when you're going to do it. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that. So that'll be next

00:39:26.740 week. And before we move on, uh, I got to mention our only sponsor and I'm proud to have them as

00:39:32.540 our only sponsor. I will not let people sponsor this show if I do not believe in their products

00:39:37.520 and we're getting approached nonstop, um, because of the rankings that we're getting

00:39:42.260 on iTunes about sponsoring. But this is a company that I believe in. This is a company

00:39:46.780 that I use their products. Um, and I like the guys who run it. They're just good dudes.

00:39:51.680 They're aggressive. They think outside the box and they embody a lot of the things that

00:39:56.300 we talk about here on the podcast. Business wise. Um, the company is called dollar, uh, the

00:40:02.920 dollar beer club. Okay. And you can find them on Instagram at dollar beer club. If you have

00:40:07.400 a beard, they have the best products that I've ever used. Okay. They've got good shampoo.

00:40:12.940 They've got oil, they've got bomb and wax and they send you all kinds of cool stuff. Like

00:40:17.200 I've got this brush here that, uh, I'm probably going to use on my beard and all my dogs. Cause

00:40:21.720 it's like a dual purpose thing. And I don't care about that because I got white hair in my

00:40:25.520 beard anyway. So it's going to mix all in, but here's the deal. If you have a beard, they

00:40:29.900 are the fucking shit dollar beer club, follow them on Instagram, uh, and, and get on their

00:40:34.500 products. If you don't have a beard, you are a gigantic vagina.

00:40:37.740 And grow a fucking beard. All right. So that's my pitch. I must be one, but I can grow a neck

00:40:44.020 beard. I think we talked about that. Yeah. Everybody in here has got at least a partial

00:40:48.220 beard, at least a baby man. I was able to oil up my scruff. I know Ben was busting out

00:40:53.800 the beard oil right before the show. What do you think? That's fantastic. Yeah. It makes

00:40:57.200 your face feel good, man. It feels real good. They should get the yak woman to be a sponsor.

00:41:01.400 I mean, you know, like a, like a spokesmodel guys, I'm serious. Follow them on Instagram.

00:41:05.780 Like for, for no other reason, even if you don't have a beard, yes, follow them on Instagram

00:41:10.260 and watch how they market their product. It's amazing. These guys get it. They're smart.

00:41:14.940 They've got great products. I mean, and I won't, I will not endorse a product that I do not like

00:41:20.180 or use. I just won't do it. A lot of guys will do that. I won't do it. Um, but besides the products,

00:41:25.360 they're worth watching from like a, uh, a case study on entrepreneurs and how to succeed

00:41:30.220 and build a company in today's, uh, social media world. You know, the guys are really

00:41:34.760 cool. Dollar beer club. Check them out. So, uh, anyway, back at it. Yeah. I'm, uh, I'm looking

00:41:42.380 at our outline and it says, say something to transition back into success talk. So I guess

00:41:47.880 that qualifies. Big Jim had, uh, something he wanted to say. You did. No, I got, you didn't

00:41:54.140 ask me about where, where, where I'm from. I'm, I'm usually at home. Oh, you can't get

00:42:01.660 me there. But you're on Periscope now. Yeah. I'm on Periscope now. I got four followers.

00:42:06.380 So I'm, I'm socially media inept. So are you MFDAD? That's what he should be. Yeah.

00:42:12.620 Probably ADD. I'm in love with Tyler here. Like he, we, we have some interesting conversations

00:42:19.860 because, um, what year did you get out of business? It was, uh, 2000 around 2000. Okay. So

00:42:27.320 the internet, like he basically exited his business. Um, he sold his business to his brother

00:42:32.100 around 2000, which was, we started our business in 99. All right. And, and so that timeframe

00:42:38.340 was a transition period and how business was done, you know, like technology for back then

00:42:44.420 was like fax machine. Right. And like everything was mail and it was paper and now it's no

00:42:49.660 paper. Now everything's automated. I can't, I open my laptop maybe once a week just to clear

00:42:54.980 the emails. I do everything off my phone. We have texts, Instagram, Facebook, all this

00:43:00.480 shit. And, and so him and I, you know, we, we've, you know, get together and have beers

00:43:05.740 and we have interesting conversations because it's so different in how we communicate, but

00:43:10.620 the principles are still the same. Well, really social media and, and the social media, you

00:43:16.840 know, he, Andrew, I don't say he says it this way, but he says, I don't freaking understand.

00:43:22.160 I don't understand. I don't, I understand perfectly, but the basics of business haven't

00:43:27.400 changed at all. It's still, okay. You advertise on Facebook. We used to advertise on WIL or

00:43:32.500 KMOX or whatever. You put so many dollars down, you got so many dollars back and only

00:43:37.900 yours is at a faster pace, faster. It's, it's, it's, yeah, it's constant. It's instant. I'm

00:43:42.980 not the concept. It hasn't changed. It's just a hundred thousand times faster.

00:43:47.160 Tell them how you find out about Facebook. No, I don't want to know. I don't have a

00:43:54.140 Facebook account. So I got to tell the story. You got to tell the story now. It's innocent

00:44:00.200 story. Okay. So this is how my dad finds out about Facebook. All right. So we, the reality

00:44:06.380 of it, this is how my dad finds out about Facebook. We go to Nashville, my bachelor party.

00:44:12.640 All right. As a group, as a group. And we, we go, it's, it's guys and girls. It was a

00:44:18.480 joint bachelor party. We went, there was like 50 people that went, I didn't do anything.

00:44:22.600 So, so we go out, you know, for four, three or four days, we go out every night, drink

00:44:28.280 beer, hang out party. It was awesome. Everybody had a good time. Well, Emily has like a shit

00:44:33.740 load of really good looking friends. Right. And they're all with us. And my dad's there

00:44:38.300 and we're all out having a good time innocently. Uh, you know, we're all on dance floor watching

00:44:43.640 the bands. If you haven't been to Nashville and gone on Broadway is awesome. Um, so we're

00:44:48.820 watching the bands and stuff and, and it, you know, everybody's kind of around each other.

00:44:52.720 Well, uh, these, some of these photos from the, the trip get posted, you know, we're all

00:44:58.980 out on the dance floor. Well, he's standing next to like the hottest girl in the group.

00:45:03.580 And it like, it just, the picture just looks like he's like dancing with her, but really

00:45:08.520 it's just like him hanging out with her. And so I get this text when we get back and he's

00:45:13.420 like, he's like, Hey, um, so he goes, what's this fucking Facebook thing? And I'm like, I'm

00:45:20.760 like, what, what, why? I can't really explain it via text. Well, somehow, uh, a photo got

00:45:29.100 posted of me and, uh, you need to make sure it gets off the internet. I'm like, I'm like

00:45:36.080 dad, I can't remove the photo from the internet. And so bullshit. He got it. It was off in about

00:45:42.540 10 minutes. So, so anyway, so come to find out, you know, I think he was getting kicked

00:45:47.720 out of his own house because somebody of some friend of a friend of a friend saw a picture

00:45:52.860 of him and reported it back home to him and his girlfriend he's been with for, I don't

00:45:57.540 know, 15 years, you know? Well, and so I, you know, we go over to his house and it's

00:46:01.640 his house and all his shit's in the fucking bags. It wasn't that bad. Yeah. Right. That

00:46:07.980 person's still around here. And, and, uh, Wendy, my girlfriend, well, that's why

00:46:12.540 they're friends now. They finally, they finally talked last Sunday. She was over

00:46:16.960 Sal's house and they talked, but the point is, is that that's funny. That's how much

00:46:21.160 he didn't know about social media. No, you know, he didn't know the rules on social

00:46:24.960 media. No, I know the rules. Yeah. I wasn't married while I was in business and

00:46:28.540 I know the rules, man. You get caught doing stuff. You got a regular girlfriend, you get

00:46:32.900 killed. Yeah. But here's the thing. You, that's the point about social media. That's

00:46:37.380 a good point. And although we're talking about business, it's a hundred percent

00:46:41.500 transparency. And if you go out and pretend to be something you're not nowadays, you're

00:46:46.040 going to get fucking caught when, whether that be with a girl or another guy, or whether

00:46:50.520 that be in your business or half truce of business, you can't, there's no

00:46:54.620 place for somebody to tell fables about anything anymore because the internet will make you

00:46:59.920 an honest man. And, uh, I just think that was, that's, that's anyway, the moral of the

00:47:04.660 story and that's our good transition. Um, I wouldn't finish. So, but go ahead. Hey,

00:47:09.740 look, we can talk about this all the time, but we got to stay on course here. Move on.

00:47:13.340 Yeah. So guys, we're talking about what the definition of success is. And there's a couple

00:47:18.660 other things, you know, you guys have to understand that you need to look at success in terms of

00:47:23.700 present, not past or future. I think people think that once they get rich or famous or

00:47:28.600 build a business or whatever story they've told themselves about what success is, that

00:47:33.940 they're successful. And that's not the truth. It's they were successful. You, if you're sitting

00:47:39.240 right now in a position that you think, Oh, I'm successful. No, you were successful. You

00:47:44.460 have to understand that time is always moving. Okay. It's a noun. It only has present form.

00:47:49.540 Success is a noun. It only has present tense. It doesn't have future tense. It doesn't have past

00:47:54.960 tense. Okay. Yeah. I think the thing that makes that really encouraging is that you, you could be

00:48:03.300 successful right now. Like today, if today you work to your full potential or not successful or not

00:48:08.320 successful, right. So it's, it's, it's based on constant activity. You can never rest on your

00:48:13.300 laurels. You can never like go into passive mode. You have to constantly be working on it, which

00:48:18.660 is, is both an accountability, but it's also an encouragement. Because like I said, you could

00:48:22.800 have, you know, the last year of your life, you could be living a half, half-assed life. But if,

00:48:27.680 if on Monday you decide, okay, I'm going to kill it, you're successful. Right. And, and it's a process,

00:48:34.340 you know, it's not a one-time accomplishment. It's just ongoing. It never stops. It's not static. It's

00:48:39.920 not, it's not something that you could just point to as a, as a blip, you know, it's dynamic,

00:48:45.120 it's fluid. It's always moving. It's always in forward motion. And the moment you stop and focus

00:48:50.340 backwards and not stop and stop moving to, to fulfill the potential or giving what you have in

00:48:55.320 the tank, you're not successful anymore. And I think people, you know, you may have the prizes

00:49:00.800 around you that the past work or the past success that you've developed, you know, have provided you,

00:49:08.360 but that doesn't mean you're successful. So when I'm sitting on the couch watching, you know,

00:49:13.420 Pacific Rim, you know, drinking my, my beer, hanging out, waiting for me to, you know,

00:49:19.860 get my next paycheck, I'm not successful. I'm enjoying some of the fruits of my past success

00:49:26.180 at that time. And if you sit in that zone long enough, guess what happens to those fruits?

00:49:31.600 They get eaten up and they're not there and you don't get to enjoy them. And a lot of people look

00:49:36.240 at this success and this is why this is dangerous guys. A lot of people look at success as a

00:49:40.960 destination endpoint place. I want to own two Lamborghinis. I want to have $2 million cash.

00:49:47.240 I want to have a big house. I want to have a wife with big boobies and I want to, you know,

00:49:51.840 have an 80 inch TV screen and I'm successful. Okay. And that's what people think. And then when they

00:49:57.920 get there, they don't go through the things that they don't go through the mental process that we're

00:50:01.980 talking about here on this podcast, they, they stop and they say, dude, I made it. I'm here and

00:50:09.780 that's it. And then what happens? What happens? They lose it. Okay. It dwindles down. They stop

00:50:16.580 progressing. The people chasing you, catch you and beat you. And then you're starting over from

00:50:21.420 scratch, you know, and, and it, and it's a lot harder to start the ball rolling than it is to keep

00:50:27.740 rolling. That's the reality. So you have to understand that it's not a place that you just

00:50:33.320 get to. It's, it's a, it's a process. It's a point of reference along your journey that you can

00:50:40.360 reference at certain times, but you should always be looking to how you can improve, how you can give

00:50:45.500 more, how you can make people better. And if you do that, you'll always be successful. It'll always

00:50:51.100 come back to you. And, and people don't think of it like that. It's so annoying to me personally,

00:50:56.260 when people talk about it, like when they say things like this person is successful or this

00:51:01.520 person has made it, what the fuck does made it mean? What does made it mean? Ben, what the fuck

00:51:07.260 does it mean? I've never believed in that concept because you always got to be looking for the next

00:51:11.380 opportunity. It's that growth mindset that we talked about. I mean, the, the moment that people

00:51:16.580 say that they made it, they end up going backwards, which is the, which is the point that you're making.

00:51:20.740 You can only go forward and backwards. You can't stay at the same spot. That's what people don't

00:51:24.680 understand. And when they say you made it, I hate that term so much because I know that if someone

00:51:29.740 truly believes they made it, that it's only a matter of time before the world just shits on

00:51:33.920 it. It's just the way I've seen, how many times you've seen that in your life? You're 70 years old.

00:51:39.180 Many, many times. And I mean, it's okay to take a little vacation.

00:51:42.560 No question. I mean, I don't mean like go to Mexico. I'm saying take off. You, you wear yourself

00:51:48.080 down, you wear yourself out. You might not work as hard as you, as you could for a week or two or a

00:51:52.820 month. If you, if you take the vacation too long, the troops will get restless. So the shit happens,

00:51:59.460 boy, it'll happen everywhere. And then it happens fast. Then sweeping it up, sweeping up the mess is

00:52:04.080 like, Oh yeah. You know, I've been through it. I've been through it too, man. You, you, you, you get,

00:52:10.200 you have a little insurrection with the employees, uh, the women, you know, you don't show up for work.

00:52:16.820 They get mad at you. And no, for real. I mean, it's, and then it takes a long time to fix it.

00:52:22.660 Well, no, I mean, how many times you hear about it, guys, we see it all the time in the news,

00:52:25.880 right? These guys are super wealthy, super successful. A fucking year later, their life

00:52:31.700 is in shambles because just like success is a matter of momentum and moving forward. You create

00:52:38.180 that positive momentum. If you, like you said, the vacation, if you take that fucking vacation too long,

00:52:43.640 Oh man, dude, the momentum changes real quick. And that momentum of going down the wrong side of

00:52:51.160 the mountain, you know, going backwards that goes just as fast as it did, you know, when it was

00:52:57.020 going well, I told Andrew some time ago, and I've told him this a couple of times, some of the things

00:53:02.760 I told him there was, there was one was it's a little, it's a little white lie. Cause once you get

00:53:06.720 on a merry-go-round, you can't get off that son of a bitch, man. And if you do, that's that vacation.

00:53:12.480 If you get off that vacation too long, you know, things will come, you know, it'll be, it'll change.

00:53:18.140 But, but, uh, what, when you're, when you're on a merry-go-round and it's rolling that roller

00:53:22.800 coaster, you just need to figure out how, I don't want to use the word enjoy, but how to make it,

00:53:28.700 uh, not to get to stress. Cause there is stress involved and it's, there is worry. And, and, uh,

00:53:35.440 well, one thing you, I think you realize, like I realized in my little story, I told him I have

00:53:39.380 pneumonia. One thing I realized that was really helpful for me was that I realized like how

00:53:45.820 important the people that I'm surrounded by in my day-to-day life were, I was like lonely,

00:53:52.680 you know, like I, I, I was like, dude, I didn't get to see Jason. I didn't get to see

00:53:58.180 Sal. I didn't see Chris, you know, I didn't care. I didn't see Tyler, you know, but, but,

00:54:04.460 uh, but the point was, is like, you know, I see these guys every day and until you're

00:54:08.580 away from them for a while, you, you forget how important they are and how, how good of

00:54:14.780 friends you are with them on a personal level, because they are your life as an entrepreneur,

00:54:19.280 the people that you're surrounded with. And, you know, that was one thing I took away that

00:54:24.520 really helped put things in perspective. Um, and I'm kind of embarrassed to say like,

00:54:30.480 that's when I, it took me that long to figure it out. But up until that point, you know,

00:54:34.460 it was kind of like, okay, we built this engine. The purpose of the engine is to make money,

00:54:38.080 right? The way we make money is by creating value. I knew all of those things, but what

00:54:42.140 I didn't appreciate was the personal part of success of the friendships that are made.

00:54:48.520 And the, I mean, you've told me this when you sold your company, that's what you miss.

00:54:51.500 We've talked about this a hundred times. When I sold a company, it was, it wasn't about

00:54:54.760 him missing money or the income or anything. It wasn't money. It wasn't, I was, I had 24

00:55:00.560 outside salesmen and 200 employees and, and I went to every football game, baseball game,

00:55:05.500 every freaking, you, you name any restaurant, you know, been there a hundred times or whatever

00:55:10.860 and name any amount of money you spent. Okay. We spent it. It's not, it wasn't about that,

00:55:15.280 but it was when I sold a company is I didn't have a purpose anymore. Right. I wasn't, I wasn't,

00:55:22.100 you know, nobody called, nobody cared because they're on the business. They got their own stuff

00:55:28.280 to take care of. Right. I didn't make them money. I didn't do anything for them or with them. And

00:55:32.040 it was different. It was, took me three years. It was depression really. Yeah. I, I, I get people

00:55:38.120 consult me all the time about, they want to sell their business. They want to do this. They want to do

00:55:42.200 that. And I, I always say, be very, very, very careful about what you really want. I mean,

00:55:47.700 why don't you fade off a little bit at a time, which I'm not saying I would do that. I'm saying

00:55:53.800 that you have to think about it. Well, yeah, but, but you kind of learned that a more difficult way

00:55:58.500 because you guys don't really know the story, but what had happened was he was in a pretty bad car

00:56:03.060 accident and they were in a situation, a stressful situation at work. And he kind of, you kind of made

00:56:08.940 a decision to sell the company. I knee jerked. Yeah. And a knee jerk reaction. And so he didn't

00:56:13.160 think about these things. So when he speaks about what he misses, he's speaking from experience,

00:56:18.340 you know, and, and, and I've been fortunate enough to hear that, but you know, until I went

00:56:22.920 through that myself, um, uh, in a little bitty way, you know, I realized, okay, fuck dude,

00:56:29.140 this is way more about just this being a business. This is, this is a lifestyle. And I mean, it,

00:56:34.720 it, it, in my business and, and I, it's in a business. It's not that it's that culture

00:56:41.240 thing I talk about and, and I just talked about it. It's you, you want to create something

00:56:47.420 that you're proud of that would, and we'll use the word success again, happiness. Every

00:56:51.320 one of your employees should be the best educated. It's a competitive spirit. You want to be the

00:56:55.360 best educated, the best trained. You, you want them to be the best and to be the best. And

00:57:00.180 if you do that, they, they are, they're right with you. They're the Marine going over the

00:57:04.680 wall. They're the football team, the line, the lineman or whatever. They're with you a

00:57:09.180 hundred percent. Yeah. There's all that camaraderie that's built and you build it and it's easy

00:57:13.780 to lose that real quick. Uh, it's, it's, uh, but, but people don't think about those things

00:57:19.720 when they think about like, Oh, when they think about like people that are not in that situation,

00:57:24.340 you know what they think about? I can sell my company and get $300 million and I could, what

00:57:28.440 the fuck are you going to do with $300 million? You're going to sit around and do what?

00:57:33.400 I'm exaggerating, but once you have a nice car, say two nice cars. Okay. And, and this

00:57:38.800 is no reflection on anything here. I just, it's a, it's a way of saying something, not

00:57:42.380 a, you got a nice house, you got a nice condo in Florida, you got a nice this. I mean, that

00:57:48.300 sounds like a lot of stuff, but, but really get past nice house, nice car, nice wife, and

00:57:56.000 then you get nice kids and, and you have maybe some more grandkids too, you know, but, but,

00:58:03.660 uh, uh, no, you enjoy those simple things of life. Getting up, I wake up happy every day.

00:58:09.480 I said this before, I wake up happy every day. And that little joke about you make my day.

00:58:14.280 It's true. And when I was in business, it was, there'd always be some son of a bitch trying

00:58:18.840 to unmake my day, you know, and, and, uh, but enjoying seeing Andrew, seeing Sal, seeing

00:58:25.940 Tyler right here, man. I like seeing that guy come over here.

00:58:28.400 That's because you wear the same color shorts he wears. You guys must have bought your shorts

00:58:32.220 at the same place.

00:58:32.900 There are a lot of girls on Snapchat that like seeing Tyler too.

00:58:35.580 Tyler's trying to hold my hand over here. Keep your hand off my knee.

00:58:39.280 He's sitting right next to me because you can't see this to both of your guys's point. I mean,

00:58:44.520 this is something you've said, uh, just countless, countless times. And, and you'll continue to say

00:58:49.200 because it's true that your success is largely determined by the people that you surround

00:58:53.920 yourself with. And then to your point, big John, excuse me, big Jim, big John, big Jim.

00:59:01.480 To your, to, to your point, big Jim. Uh, and that is that success is more than material. It's,

00:59:10.200 it's people. And, and that does sound cheesy and that does sound like rainbows and unicorns,

00:59:14.080 but it is, it's more than just the material. Okay. And it'll, you'll get it more and more as

00:59:19.640 he gets older because it gets more and more important. You're responsible for every one of

00:59:23.400 those people. And, and I didn't worry about this. I learned, I don't, I don't have any monkeys on my

00:59:29.340 back. I walked out of my place every day cause I didn't do anything that was bad. I mean, you know,

00:59:36.240 I made good decisions, good for me sometimes, but good decisions and good for everybody. And you

00:59:43.000 wait them, you, you put them on a scale and you wait them. What, what, what's good for the company?

00:59:47.960 But I was responsible and it took me almost to 40 years old to figure this out. I'm responsible

00:59:52.940 for what car they drive, what house they drive, every one of my employees, what school or kid

00:59:59.240 goes to, there's a social responsibility that comes along with running a company. And, and

01:00:04.260 when you see like the newscast, you know, all these rich guys, we should tax them to death.

01:00:08.620 We should do this. We should do that. Most of those big businesses that become successful,

01:00:12.920 Microsoft and Apple, those people had that same culture. They, they, they treated those

01:00:17.440 people. Perfect. You know, Walmart, uh, whatever those, those were born on those that do the

01:00:24.120 people criticize people like that camaraderie. They've never fucking done it. Yeah. Period.

01:00:29.140 Okay. You're talking about some asshole who's sitting up on a fucking TV stage talking about

01:00:34.660 how so-and-so and they look at the rich picture. It was rich motherfucker, blah, blah, blah. They

01:00:41.340 don't think about the donations given. They don't think about the jobs created. They don't think

01:00:45.820 about the income created for these families or the food on the table. All they talk about

01:00:51.240 is, Oh, look at that guy and his fucking Rolls Royce. And dude, it's always for someone who's

01:00:55.420 never fucking done it. Period. Guys, this is a great conversation, very far ranging and

01:00:59.980 a lot of great stories. Let's, let's, uh, focus and sort of recap a little bit as you

01:01:05.240 know, I'm want to do. So basically, Andy, you're just saying that success, the bedrock principle

01:01:11.320 that we're talking about here is that you are the measure of your success. Success is not

01:01:15.800 about what you accomplish. It's not, it's not about, uh, how you compare to someone else if

01:01:21.460 you're not realizing your own true, true potential. So that's the bedrock principle.

01:01:25.780 Right. So then beyond that, what you said was that, that success is not something that

01:01:30.060 something that you did in the past or something that you're going to do in the future. It is

01:01:34.080 always about what you're doing now. Right. But then along with that, you said that the really

01:01:38.540 great thing about it is you can benefit from your, your past experiences. You can benefit

01:01:43.040 from this cumulative effort so that you sort of build momentum and, and really can kind

01:01:48.440 of hit your stride. So where I'd like to take it, if you're okay with, with this is,

01:01:52.340 is just to talk about, you know, bringing in something that Ben talks about in the mental

01:01:56.100 toughness playbook is that once again, we've talked about this before, we talk about it

01:01:59.740 again, this whole idea of success to be truly successful. You got to really look yourself

01:02:05.300 in the mirror and be honest. You know, you guys all know I'm fans of Gary Vaynerchuk.

01:02:11.180 I've, I've read, if you haven't read his books, read all of his books. The guy has an

01:02:15.220 awesome podcast. Um, he, he has the ask Gary V show, everything he does is solid

01:02:20.100 fucking gold. Um, but one thing he talks about, which I agree with a million percent

01:02:26.120 is that if he could give the, if he could give away a skill, like you can make a skill

01:02:31.700 into like a pill or a shot and you could just give it to people, you know, he's like, cause

01:02:36.080 he always talks about hustle. He's like, I wouldn't give him hustle. I wouldn't give him

01:02:38.940 drive. I wouldn't give him ambition. I give him self-awareness. Okay. And the reason

01:02:43.500 that you have to have self, and most people hear that and they're like, what the fuck

01:02:47.120 is self-awareness? But this is where it's important. Okay. And I love how he brings

01:02:52.140 that to the forefront as a principle that people need to have, because I have not heard

01:02:56.160 one other person talk about how important it is to have that. And you know, I could be

01:03:01.060 misunderstanding why he says this, but this is why I think it's important. Okay. Because

01:03:05.500 here's what happens. We're talking about fulfilling potential, which is something that

01:03:10.480 you only really know yourself. Right? So it's real easy to say, man, I'm doing my best

01:03:18.060 or man, I'm doing all I can. How many times do you hear that from someone who's maybe struggling

01:03:23.820 with some things and he's like, Hey man, you know, I'm doing everything I can. Or Hey dude,

01:03:28.500 I'm doing my best. 99.99% of the times you hear that shit. It is a fucking excuse. So you

01:03:37.360 have to understand how to be so honest with yourself. Even if you fucking lie to other

01:03:44.000 people about it, you've got to know in your heart, am I giving my best? Am I doing everything

01:03:51.640 I can? Am I moving forward and giving at the rate that I am capable of? And being self-aware

01:03:59.580 means you have to fucking look yourself in the eye and say, no, I am not. And I can do

01:04:06.660 more. Okay. Because here's what happens. People usually compare themselves to their peers. They

01:04:13.020 compare themselves to, which we just talked about not comparing yourself, but we all do

01:04:17.500 it. It's sometimes we have to stop ourselves doing it. But what we do and what most people

01:04:21.740 do is they compare themselves to people they work with. And they say, Oh, look, John over

01:04:27.760 there, you know, I'm doing more than him and Susie over there. I'm doing more than her.

01:04:32.440 So I'm fucking winning. No, you're not winning because what you're comparing yourself to is

01:04:37.560 people who are doing the bare fucking minimum to get by or not get yelled at or not get fired

01:04:43.900 or not get in trouble. So you're going to do an inch more work. So you look like the superstar

01:04:48.100 at your place because you work with a bunch of fucking lazy motherfuckers. That's not fulfilling

01:04:53.860 potential. And, and people, you will go to people like that and you will talk to them

01:04:58.440 and they'll say, dude, I'm doing my best. Look how good I'm doing. I'm doing so much better

01:05:01.300 than these guys. Doesn't matter. What matters is, is are you giving the amount that you have

01:05:08.080 to give? Because here's the reality of life guys. We're in a fucking competition, all of

01:05:12.760 us. And you guys, this is competitive. You guys look around your workplace and you say,

01:05:17.740 dude, I'm the best here. And you think I'm going to be successful because I'm the best

01:05:21.440 here, but you're wrong because other places that you are not, there is people giving their

01:05:26.860 full potential and you're competing against them and you're not seeing effort they're giving.

01:05:31.720 And so when you get past where you are now, all of a sudden you're competing with someone

01:05:36.000 who's trained themselves on it. And when I say this, because this becomes a habit, all

01:05:40.800 right, giving your full potential becomes a habit because they train themselves on a daily

01:05:46.180 basis to do the best that they can. So eventually after many, many, many months and years of giving

01:05:53.400 all you can, you wake up and you do it without thinking about it. Okay. So the only person you

01:05:58.680 cheat by saying, Oh, I'm better than John and Susie over there. And I'm the best in my office

01:06:02.940 and go home and beat your chest. Like you're this fucking anomaly of hard work. The only person

01:06:08.780 you're hurting is you because you're going to run into, you're going to run into this other

01:06:13.820 dude that works at this other company that you don't see because you're going to move

01:06:18.080 up your little company. And then you don't see this guy and he's going to fucking slaughter

01:06:20.980 you. That's the bottom line. So you have to be able to look yourself in the eye and say,

01:06:26.500 dude, am I giving all I can? Because only, you know, if you are. And the question for most

01:06:32.180 people, the answer to that question from 99% of people listening and the people in this room

01:06:38.460 is no, you're not giving all you can.

01:06:40.440 So I got a question for everybody. How bad do you want it? You know, Vaughn likes talking

01:06:45.600 about the mental toughness playbook and you know, everybody can get a free copy of it,

01:06:49.380 right? We're not selling it free playbook.net go download it for free. But here's an action

01:06:53.780 step we wanted to give to each and every single one of you. And the challenge is how bad do

01:06:58.040 you want it? And are you willing to look yourself in the mirror and talk about the truth of where

01:07:02.080 you are? The first mental training tool in that book is called attaining belief in yourself.

01:07:06.540 It doesn't mean we're saying you don't believe in yourself. It's about where you are right

01:07:11.080 now. What is the truth of your situation? And what can you do to get to that next level?

01:07:17.580 That's what it's all about. It's about attaining belief in yourself and connecting to the truth,

01:07:21.900 which is what you're saying. If you're not willing to connect to the truth of where you are,

01:07:25.480 there's no way in hell you're going to get to where you think you can go. You have to have purpose,

01:07:30.320 which big Jim mentioned, there has to be purpose. And the purpose will give you the fuel

01:07:34.440 in order to drive that truth to the vision that you can achieve.

01:07:37.500 And the self-awareness comes in because you have to have a realistic measure of what you're doing.

01:07:42.760 If you're not, I mean, most people fucking lie to themselves. I don't have any other way to say

01:07:47.520 that. Most people lie to themselves. They think they're doing way more than they actually are.

01:07:52.820 They think they're capable of much less than they actually are. And they lie. And in order to be

01:07:58.560 ultimately successful in your life, because at the end of your life, you're going to look back and you're

01:08:03.060 going to say, that's when you will be self-aware by default, because you're going to go back and

01:08:07.760 you're going to give yourself an honest evaluation at that point. Cause you're like, fuck, it's over.

01:08:12.720 And you're going to look back and you'll say, dude, I could have done a lot more.

01:08:15.580 I'm going to fucking, I'm going to fucking die knowing that I could have done a lot more.

01:08:19.920 And, and all, and honestly, I can't think of anything worse than that.

01:08:23.680 This, this is one of the reasons diving into these types of topics to really have people

01:08:28.320 recognize that potential is why I'm so excited to really be able to travel the world,

01:08:32.760 to be able to do this, do it anyway tour, to be able to spend a whole day with all of our listeners.

01:08:37.720 We're going to get as close as we can to all of you in different regions.

01:08:40.940 Not too close. Don't get in my, don't get in my personal space.

01:08:43.960 There's nothing worse than fucking face talkers. Don't face talk me, man.

01:08:47.880 So when we're, when, when we kick this off in St. Louis on November the 6th, don't,

01:08:52.320 don't get too close to Andy.

01:08:53.660 Well, dude, it's weird, man. Like, I feel like they're going to, like,

01:08:55.940 I feel like people that face talk are going to fucking kiss me.

01:08:58.480 It's a fucking weirdest thing. Like if you're a face, we're talking about self-awareness.

01:09:03.240 Be aware of how far away you are from another man's face that isn't into other men.

01:09:08.120 I'm going to start doing that. When I debrief you, I'm just going to sit right next to you.

01:09:11.640 Like God, it's fucking weird. Anyway, don't irritate.

01:09:15.280 No, no. I don't irritate the bear.

01:09:18.020 Everybody, everybody, everybody now knows when we come to visit you,

01:09:20.920 but that's part of what Andy and I, we want to spend a whole day.

01:09:23.500 This is not easy, right? I mean, what you're talking about, this is not easy.

01:09:26.540 It's not a flip of a switch. I mean, you have to choose to work on it.

01:09:29.700 We're summarizing here. That's the point. You've got to work on it.

01:09:31.900 When we do the tour, we're going to get in depth on how you can achieve these things, okay?

01:09:35.740 Because there's making you aware of the concept,

01:09:38.400 and then they're showing you how to execute on the concept.

01:09:41.180 So the tour, and I mean, I guess this is a pitch for the tour,

01:09:44.420 but if you have an opportunity to come to the tour,

01:09:47.480 we're going to cover these concepts,

01:09:48.640 and then we're going to cover the how to execute on these concepts.

01:09:52.940 So come to the fucking tour, right?

01:09:55.460 Yeah, I mean, so there's four dates right now.

01:09:58.380 We're getting ready to announce the rest of the schedule,

01:10:00.560 and the details will be up on the website,

01:10:02.080 but November 6th will be in St. Louis.

01:10:04.240 I think we should call it the MFCEO tour beyond the Thunderdome.

01:10:09.060 It just sounds fucking badass.

01:10:11.340 And we can wear, like, the fucking Thunderdome costumes.

01:10:14.520 Oh, man.

01:10:15.100 Like, dude, I'll be the dude that, like, you could be Tina Turner,

01:10:18.700 and I'll be the dude that has the dude on his shoulder,

01:10:21.200 and Vaughn, you could be the shoulder dude.

01:10:22.400 I can't be Mad Max?

01:10:24.040 No, because Big Jim's got to be Mad Max.

01:10:26.320 Oh, yeah.

01:10:26.920 Okay, okay.

01:10:27.240 You know?

01:10:27.760 I'm in.

01:10:28.320 I'm all in.

01:10:28.940 He's in now.

01:10:29.900 He's in.

01:10:31.080 No, go ahead.

01:10:31.820 And then we'll be in Toronto, Canada, January the 15th,

01:10:35.160 Miami, February the 6th, Orlando, February the 7th,

01:10:39.380 and then we'll be announcing dates in Austin, L.A., Chicago,

01:10:42.360 and then we're going to have a huge event at the end of the year

01:10:44.540 for those that attend the previous event in Las Vegas,

01:10:47.620 kind of like a big reunion kickoff to just really enjoy this time together

01:10:51.160 to continue to grow, because that's what we want.

01:10:53.640 We want to spend time with you so that you can achieve your unrealized potential

01:10:57.920 and to keep growing, not to be content.

01:11:00.880 Forget about the – I hope that's what everybody's pulling from this.

01:11:03.420 When you hear Andy get fired up, he does not want you to be content.

01:11:06.540 Big Jim does not want you to be content.

01:11:08.440 Vaughn, we don't want you to be content.

01:11:10.640 We want you to continue to grow and challenge yourself.

01:11:13.420 Hey, Ben, maybe I'm out of turn here, but as you mentioned those different tour dates,

01:11:18.060 if people want to get involved to help, can they,

01:11:22.040 or is there really nothing to do in terms of help and plan and that sort of thing?

01:11:25.680 You know, I think for Andy and I, we've got a great team.

01:11:28.420 We want people to come and work on themselves.

01:11:30.620 Yeah.

01:11:31.140 I mean, that's the most – the best thing you can do is come and dive in.

01:11:34.680 The logistics are pretty much handled.

01:11:35.160 Yeah, work on yourself.

01:11:36.380 Come and be ready to work on yourself.

01:11:38.920 You know, Andy and I don't have to take the time to travel around.

01:11:41.280 I mean, Andy, what did he just tell you?

01:11:43.040 He could sit in front of his TV and make money, right?

01:11:46.280 So he doesn't have to do this, but that is him recognizing his unrealized potential.

01:11:50.660 He wants to come be with you.

01:11:51.840 No, you have an obligation.

01:11:52.560 If I don't fucking do it, who's going to do it?

01:11:54.820 The whole world is going to turn into a bunch of fucking zombie pussy video gamers.

01:11:58.880 But once again, as we talked about earlier, that's a rule that you learn from Big Jim.

01:12:02.280 Yeah.

01:12:02.820 So you say who's going to – that's your mindset that you've adopted.

01:12:06.160 It is.

01:12:06.680 That's what we want you guys to have.

01:12:08.620 Yeah, man.

01:12:09.100 I mean, here – you know, let's wrap it up.

01:12:11.760 We're getting long-winded, and guys, you know, Ben's right.

01:12:14.820 We do this because we have a passion for it, you know.

01:12:17.960 But what I want you to realize is that if you take anything from this podcast, it's that you are ultimately responsible for your own success.

01:12:28.320 And your chances of success are profoundly affected by your peer group.

01:12:33.020 You know, we've talked about this on previous podcasts.

01:12:35.580 We've talked about this many a times here and there on the internet and on – follow me on Periscope.

01:12:42.080 But if you're not surrounding yourself with the people that push you forward, okay?

01:12:48.060 I just did a scope on this yesterday.

01:12:50.660 I call them propellers and anchors, okay?

01:12:52.980 You're a boat, all right?

01:12:54.540 And you've got two kinds of people in your boat.

01:12:57.000 You've got people who are propellers.

01:12:59.080 Those people push you forward.

01:13:00.920 They demand more of you.

01:13:02.280 They make you – they point out your unrealized potential to you, and it might piss you off.

01:13:08.800 But they force you to fucking look at that space that you're not looking at to where you could fill it and do something, all right?

01:13:15.160 Those people are propellers.

01:13:16.480 They're the people who support you.

01:13:17.720 I'm not talking about the people who make your life easy.

01:13:20.260 I'm not talking about your buddies you drink beer with who tell you how fucking great you are.

01:13:24.380 I'm talking about people that force you to see your unrealized potential and force you to act in that way.

01:13:32.340 So those are your propellers, all right?

01:13:34.440 And who are your anchors?

01:13:35.480 Dad.

01:13:35.780 Those are your motherfucking buddies that you drink beer with that tell you how great you are.

01:13:39.840 That's your girlfriend who nags you about how much you work.

01:13:42.620 That's your people who tell you, you can't fucking do that, all right?

01:13:47.040 That's what I'm talking about.

01:13:48.180 And you have to eliminate the anchors from the boat if you want to get it moving fast, all right?

01:13:52.960 Very simple concept, right?

01:13:54.380 You want the boat to go fast, you want a bunch of fucking propellers, and not many anchors.

01:13:59.040 Very simple, all right?

01:14:00.840 So make sure that you're surrounding yourself with people who are going to push you.

01:14:05.600 And it's going to make you uncomfortable.

01:14:07.480 You know, it's going to make you feel at some times like you're a loser.

01:14:10.680 Like I was talking to Steve this morning, like we talked about a little bit ago.

01:14:13.900 You know, when I go to a party sometimes or go to an event,

01:14:18.100 I'm around people who are so much further down the path that I am that I'm like, fuck.

01:14:22.580 And it puts it in perspective.

01:14:24.640 But you know what?

01:14:25.280 That uncomfortable feeling doesn't get me depressed.

01:14:28.240 It makes me go home and harness that energy into things that are productive, you know?

01:14:33.500 So make sure that you're surrounding yourself with the right people.

01:14:36.620 We get this question a lot.

01:14:38.320 I know, Ben, you do on Periscope, but so do I.

01:14:40.780 What about this person?

01:14:42.200 Or what about that person?

01:14:43.280 Or what about this person?

01:14:44.320 And, guys, there's a lot of, like, unwarranted loyalty towards people.

01:14:49.320 Like, oh, what about my lifelong friends that don't support me?

01:14:52.960 Well, dude, if they don't fucking support you, guess what?

01:14:55.260 They're not your fucking friends.

01:14:57.200 Okay?

01:14:58.160 You need to redefine what you see as a friend as opposed to thinking you have some sort of moral obligation to somebody

01:15:04.100 because you've known them since they were fucking three.

01:15:07.800 Period.

01:15:09.240 Okay?

01:15:09.920 So, guys, we've covered a lot here.

01:15:14.420 This is a very in-depth, lifelong concept to kind of understand and progress on.

01:15:23.080 But the bottom line, guys, is this.

01:15:25.940 You have to define success the right way.

01:15:28.980 Don't look at it like it's a Lamborghini.

01:15:31.000 Don't look at it like it's a bank account.

01:15:32.780 Don't look at it like it's a big house.

01:15:34.320 Because if you do look at it and you get to that point, not only are you not going to be happy,

01:15:39.120 you're going to die with a lot of regret, and you're going to lose what you have

01:15:42.260 because you're not continually moving forward and you don't understand how to improve from that point.

01:15:46.960 Because if you're not moving forward, you're going backwards.

01:15:50.180 And that's the bottom line.

01:15:51.880 This has been a great conversation.

01:15:54.000 I'm going to sign off.

01:15:55.200 Ben, final word?

01:15:57.340 I don't think there's anything else I can say.

01:15:59.620 I have learned a lot being in this room.

01:16:01.900 Big Jim, for me, I would just, the takeaway for me is rules versus lessons, right?

01:16:07.240 And surround yourself with the people who are wanting to bring out the best in you.

01:16:11.860 Absolutely.

01:16:13.020 I'd just like to say to the people, talking to the people out there that we're talking to,

01:16:18.340 talk's cheap.

01:16:20.000 If you don't do it yourself, nobody's going to do it for you.

01:16:22.440 You've got to look in that mirror of self-awareness and say exactly who you are.

01:16:26.600 Because talking about it isn't going to do shit for you.

01:16:29.000 You've got to act on it and act on these principles.

01:16:31.840 And they're principles.

01:16:34.060 And you can't do them in one day.

01:16:35.140 You can't do them overnight.

01:16:36.160 But you've got to live and have a competitive spirit and move on with your life.

01:16:40.800 Don't talk about it.

01:16:41.780 Do it.

01:16:42.840 Boom, motherfucker.

01:16:43.660 That's the show.

01:16:44.320 All I do is work, hustle, kill.

01:16:47.780 All I do is work.

01:16:49.460 All I do is work.

01:16:51.100 All I do is work.

01:16:52.740 All I do is work.

01:16:54.420 All I do is work.

01:16:56.100 All I do is work.

01:16:57.780 All I do is work.

01:16:59.440 Hustle and kill.

01:17:00.840 Kill, kill, kill.

01:17:02.300 Fuck dives.

01:17:03.460 We stack four fives.

01:17:05.380 We lift cities.

01:17:07.000 Run, shit, or die.

01:17:08.000 Microphone jacks.

01:17:09.000 We stack four fives.

01:17:11.800 We lift cities.

01:17:13.700 Run, shit, or die.

01:17:41.800 semana pas.

01:17:43.040 Bye-bye.

01:18:11.800 Thank you.

01:18:41.800 Thank you.

01:19:11.800 Thank you.

01:19:41.800 Thank you.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 08, 2015

Setting the Record Straight on Success, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO14

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