REAL AF with Andy Frisella - January 22, 2019


Struggle Is Your Privilege, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO280


Episode Stats


Length

19 minutes

Words per minute

158.93808

Word count

3,175

Sentence count

243

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Hate speech

3

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of the MFCEO Project, I talk about the benefits of putting on a tuxedo or a fancy dress, and how it can make you feel like you re a better person when you put it on.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.340 I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.
00:00:04.800 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.
00:00:12.300 What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO.
00:00:21.000 Today, I just got done having our 20th anniversary banquet and awards ceremony.
00:00:29.640 We call it the S2 in first form, which S2 stands for Supplement Superstores, awards dinner.
00:00:39.200 What do we call it? We call it the Leadership and Core Values Banquet.
00:00:43.540 It was really cool. Had a bunch of people in town.
00:00:48.440 We got both of our public companies together, all of our employees, all of our team members from inside St. Louis
00:00:58.320 to get together to celebrate the things that we value here in our companies.
00:01:05.500 And what we value more than anything is our core values.
00:01:09.280 We value the character traits that we instill in our team over the course of time,
00:01:16.360 and we reward them based upon that.
00:01:18.740 Now, a lot of companies will reward people for, you know, all kinds of numbers-oriented metrics.
00:01:33.300 But the truth of it is, is that if your core values are solid, the sales are going to be there.
00:01:40.120 Because you're going to have productive people. You're going to have happy people.
00:01:44.040 But let me tell you, because that could be a totally different podcast.
00:01:47.960 I want to talk to you about something a little more simple than that,
00:01:52.200 and a little bit easier to implement than that, that you can start right now,
00:01:59.300 and will actually help you over the course of time, starting immediately.
00:02:04.920 All right?
00:02:05.740 And what gave me the idea to talk to you guys about this is that I have a lot of young employees,
00:02:10.440 and I have a lot of employees on our team that, quite honestly, come from meager backgrounds.
00:02:17.400 They come from lower middle class or even poor backgrounds.
00:02:22.260 And this event is a black tie event, which means you wear a tuxedo.
00:02:27.580 All right? It's not a suit. It's a tuxedo.
00:02:30.700 And I just got to tell you guys, man, we gave out some amazing awards.
00:02:34.720 We had a great time.
00:02:35.820 But the thing that stuck with me the most about this event was seeing our young men and women
00:02:41.900 who had, some of them never put on a tuxedo in their entire lives.
00:02:47.660 All right?
00:02:48.360 And I'm not Mr. Tuxedo by any means.
00:02:51.260 But to see the look and the confidence and feel the energy that these young people had
00:02:58.940 by putting on the tux, it struck me, man, because I take that shit for granted.
00:03:03.780 You know, I've been to a lot of events where you wear suits and tuxedos and things like that.
00:03:09.740 And is there a better feeling on earth than when you put on a suit or a tux or a dress
00:03:16.360 and you're just looking good and you're feeling good and you are ready to go out and let everybody see you?
00:03:23.760 It ups your confidence. It ups your feeling.
00:03:26.000 It almost makes you transform into a different person.
00:03:30.660 Kind of like, you know, when Superman puts on his tighty-whities, you know, his fucking blue tights
00:03:37.500 and Batman puts on his uniform and, you know, all the superheroes, they all have an alter ego
00:03:44.680 and that uniform, they put it on and it somehow gives them superpowers.
00:03:49.240 That was what it was like to see all these young people wearing that.
00:03:53.420 And that just stuck with me all weekend.
00:03:55.820 I spent a lot of time reflecting on how, you know, much different these guys and girls looked.
00:04:03.360 Not physically looked, but the energy that they were putting off looked.
00:04:08.440 And so this morning when I saw all of our team again,
00:04:12.320 I said, how many of you guys felt amazing when you put on that tux or that dress or got dressed up?
00:04:19.860 And literally every single one raised their hand.
00:04:22.880 And I asked him, I said, do you feel like that every day?
00:04:25.400 If you feel like that every day, raise your hand.
00:04:28.840 One person rose their hand.
00:04:31.700 And that guy I know feels like that every day because he has a contagious energy.
00:04:35.960 He has a contagious confidence.
00:04:37.920 You could tell he's very comfortable in his own skin.
00:04:40.200 And it was interesting to me.
00:04:44.260 So what I want to share with you guys is the idea of that feeling.
00:04:52.220 And I want you to think about what you feel when you get dressed up
00:04:55.340 or you put on a tux or you put on a nice suit and you go to an event.
00:05:00.160 And I want you to think about how that feels.
00:05:02.280 I want you to think about how powerful you feel, how successful you feel, even if you're not.
00:05:06.980 You know, even when I was broke and I put on a suit, I felt like a fucking baller.
00:05:10.200 And I want you to think about that feeling.
00:05:12.960 And I want you to think, what if you woke up every single day with that feeling?
00:05:18.060 What if you woke up every single day with that confidence?
00:05:21.440 What if you woke up every single day feeling like the baddest motherfucker in the room
00:05:26.420 and you walked around with that everywhere you went?
00:05:30.120 How different would your life be?
00:05:32.560 How different would your relationships be?
00:05:35.380 How different would your career be?
00:05:38.840 How much better would you advance in your career?
00:05:41.500 Because let me tell you something.
00:05:43.660 When you can embody those feelings in your day-to-day life,
00:05:49.500 you've figured out something extremely special.
00:05:52.020 And that something extremely special is special because most people can never figure it out.
00:05:57.800 And let me tell you why you feel special when you put on that suit or that tux or that dress.
00:06:06.080 It's because you're paying attention to the details.
00:06:09.620 All right?
00:06:10.580 Your every single detail of your physical appearance is at its maximum.
00:06:16.480 And that makes you feel good.
00:06:17.740 But how do we translate that into day-to-day life?
00:06:22.300 Because even people who wear suits know that if you wear a suit every day, it loses its luster.
00:06:28.940 If you wear a tux every day, they call you a waiter.
00:06:33.740 Okay?
00:06:34.500 It's not the tuxedo.
00:06:36.020 It's not the dress.
00:06:37.120 It's not the suit that makes you feel that way.
00:06:40.160 It's the pride in your attention to detail.
00:06:44.300 All right?
00:06:44.720 And this is how successful people cultivate this feeling over the course of their everyday life.
00:06:54.940 Okay?
00:06:55.420 You ever know someone who's successful that radiates that energy?
00:06:58.940 Who radiates that energy whether they're wearing a tuxedo or whether they're wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt like I'm wearing right now?
00:07:06.760 I'm going to tell you how.
00:07:08.420 And this is one of the most powerful things that you'll ever cultivate in your life.
00:07:12.640 You have to understand that you feeling that way is a direct reflection of how you're living up to the standards that you know in your heart you hold for yourself.
00:07:28.100 If you miss a workout, if you miss meals, if you do a half-ass job at your work, if you do a half-ass job at home, guess what?
00:07:36.960 You are not going to have that crazy feeling of superpower.
00:07:42.680 All right?
00:07:43.300 But here's the good news.
00:07:45.740 It's very easy to cultivate this.
00:07:48.920 It starts when you get up in the morning.
00:07:51.260 It starts with taking pride in your appearance.
00:07:53.520 It starts with taking pride in your job.
00:07:57.180 It starts with taking pride in your discipline that you know you need to have to become the person that you want to become.
00:08:08.680 You might want to listen to what I just said.
00:08:11.320 Taking pride in the discipline.
00:08:14.440 All right?
00:08:15.300 What do I mean by that?
00:08:17.180 Well, what I mean by that is this.
00:08:19.160 When shit gets hard, I talked to a guy today in the gym who was asking me some pretty serious questions.
00:08:27.740 He just started a business 18 months ago.
00:08:32.100 Or not, I'm sorry, not 8 months ago.
00:08:34.020 An excavating business with Skid Steer slash Bobcat.
00:08:38.140 All right?
00:08:39.180 His name was CJ.
00:08:40.600 And he was asking me some stuff about, you know, he's going through a rough time.
00:08:45.360 I think he's getting a little bit depression, which really, after we talked about it, was typical frustration that entrepreneurs feel when things aren't going well.
00:08:56.020 So we had a little talk while we were doing our cardio at the gym.
00:08:59.060 Really cool guy.
00:09:00.060 Really nice guy.
00:09:00.900 Head on straight, seemed like.
00:09:04.640 And what I told him was this.
00:09:07.460 I'm like, look, man.
00:09:08.220 He's like, dude, do you ever just want to quit?
00:09:11.140 And I'm like, well, yeah, of course.
00:09:13.100 He's like, no, man.
00:09:14.000 Like, do you just want to end it all?
00:09:15.360 Ever.
00:09:16.000 And I'm like, well, look, man.
00:09:17.640 That's a really serious question.
00:09:20.140 And I had a serious talk with him.
00:09:21.540 But one thing I share with him that I think I need to share with everybody here is this.
00:09:26.900 You should take pride in the feeling of wanting to quit and not quitting.
00:09:32.220 Okay?
00:09:32.580 You have to know.
00:09:33.660 And this is how I think about it.
00:09:35.140 When things get really hard for me, when things have been really hard for me, the hardest in my life, whether it be in my fitness, whether it be in my business,
00:09:45.180 whether it be in any area of life, the one thing that I've always taken pride in is this.
00:09:52.060 When things get hard, I don't look at it like, oh, dude, things are so fucking hard.
00:09:56.280 That's not how I think about it.
00:09:57.420 I reframe my thoughts to think about it like this.
00:10:01.480 Hey, shit's really hard right now, dude.
00:10:04.940 You're really struggling right now.
00:10:06.680 But here's the thing.
00:10:08.380 Right now is when everybody else quits.
00:10:10.760 Right now is when everybody else is going to fall behind.
00:10:13.680 Right now is when everybody else decides to do something that's easier or faster or not as hard.
00:10:19.780 And that's what gets you ahead.
00:10:24.100 That's what gets you to have pride.
00:10:26.040 Because those struggles, those feelings, those things that are difficult, they are there to test you.
00:10:34.000 And if you want to hear more about testing, you can go listen to Test Day's podcast.
00:10:38.960 I don't know what fucking number it is.
00:10:40.640 Go look it up.
00:10:41.600 But here's the thing.
00:10:42.500 Those things are there to test us.
00:10:46.620 And when we test ourselves on a consistent basis and we pass those tests, you have to think of it that other competitors.
00:10:55.180 I actually visualize people that compete with me or try to be like me or try to take money off of my table or business away from me.
00:11:04.460 And I think about them and I said, dude, would they quit now?
00:11:07.240 And the answer is usually yes.
00:11:09.260 And when I think of all those people quitting, I get energy to push through my struggle.
00:11:15.600 I get happy about my struggle.
00:11:17.680 I get ready to take more struggle in and chew that shit up and spit it right back out.
00:11:26.000 You have to understand that struggle is a privilege.
00:11:31.680 Hardship is a privilege.
00:11:34.280 There's a lot of talk about privilege right now.
00:11:37.360 Okay?
00:11:37.700 And you can hear it from all different sides of the socioeconomic, you know, political talk, white privilege, socioeconomic privilege, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:11:50.760 Take that shit and stick it up your ass. 0.99
00:11:53.620 Because the real privilege is the one that you have.
00:11:56.200 The real privilege is your hardship.
00:11:58.280 The real privilege is your struggle.
00:12:00.220 The real privilege is how long it's taking you and the lessons that you learn.
00:12:06.080 Because those struggles, those hardships, those things that people face will usually cause them to quit.
00:12:14.300 And it brings you up.
00:12:15.800 So if you want to create the type of energy that is magnetic.
00:12:20.340 If you want to create the kind of energy that attracts other people.
00:12:24.540 If you want to create super high confidence, super high self-esteem, super high momentum, okay, for lack of better words, for yourself.
00:12:36.100 That feeling, I'm super powerful.
00:12:38.080 I'm invincible.
00:12:39.120 I'm the fucking man.
00:12:40.540 Or I'm the fucking woman. 0.52
00:12:42.180 I'm a boss lady.
00:12:43.280 Whatever the hell you want to call it.
00:12:44.740 You have to take pride in not quitting when other people are going to quit.
00:12:51.340 You have to take pride in executing your job to the very best of your ability.
00:12:57.640 Now you might be horrible at your job.
00:13:00.040 You might be terrible.
00:13:01.840 But taking pride in improving.
00:13:05.720 Taking pride in giving it your best.
00:13:08.600 All of those things are what truly create what we're talking about here.
00:13:13.400 That beaming energy and confidence that other people can just feel.
00:13:17.360 That presence that they can feel when you walk in the room.
00:13:20.920 That comes down to taking pride in your discipline.
00:13:27.700 Okay?
00:13:28.240 And most people never figure that out.
00:13:30.520 Most people can't figure out why they don't feel good.
00:13:34.640 Most people can never figure out why they only feel good when they dress up once in a while.
00:13:39.220 They never figure out how to create that day in and day out for themselves.
00:13:42.760 And that's why they lose.
00:13:44.460 That's why they create situations of frustration that just hang on and stick with them for their entire lives.
00:13:53.340 Because it's the day-to-day disciplines.
00:13:56.260 It's the eating the meals.
00:13:58.780 Doing the workouts.
00:14:00.520 Doing the best you can in your career.
00:14:03.240 Those things.
00:14:04.220 Doing the best you can for your family.
00:14:06.420 Those are the things that create the energy that I'm talking about.
00:14:11.140 Those are the things that are going to create your superpower so that you can go through life being a badass motherfucker.
00:14:20.560 And who doesn't want to be that?
00:14:23.080 You can sit there and say, oh, well, you know, I'm a little reserved.
00:14:26.740 I don't know if that's for me.
00:14:27.900 Motherfucker, don't bullshit me.
00:14:30.040 The only reason you say that shit is because you think you're incapable of being that.
00:14:34.220 And you're not.
00:14:35.480 The only reason you're not that right now is because you let all the shit slide that you shouldn't.
00:14:40.120 You let your physical appearance slide.
00:14:42.840 You let your job slide.
00:14:44.640 You let your friendship slide.
00:14:46.500 You let your relationship slide.
00:14:48.580 And when you do that, guess what else happens?
00:14:51.840 Your confidence slides.
00:14:53.460 Your self-belief slides.
00:14:55.520 Your momentum slides.
00:14:56.840 And what do you become?
00:15:00.080 You become like everyone else.
00:15:02.040 Every other blind, lost, confused, frustrated human being in this country is that way because they are not taking pride in their opportunities to be disciplined. 0.80
00:15:20.020 They are not taking pride in the opportunities to be better.
00:15:25.660 They are not looking at frustration and struggle as something to be proud of versus something to despise and be more frustrated about.
00:15:36.620 Because here's the reality.
00:15:38.880 Negative emotion, negative frustration is compounding.
00:15:43.680 If you can't figure out how to create a good situation out of a situation where you're having difficulty,
00:15:50.720 you are in for a long, long, long ass-kicking. 0.96
00:15:57.240 Your whole life is going to be a fucking train wreck.
00:16:00.580 Take pride in what you do.
00:16:02.640 Take pride in how you do it.
00:16:04.480 And most of all, learn to look at your hardships as a privilege.
00:16:10.040 Learn to look at your struggle as a privilege.
00:16:12.820 Learn to look at every single thing that you have that's negative in your life as a privilege because it's going to teach you what you need to do.
00:16:25.460 See, part of knowing what you need to know is knowing what not to do.
00:16:31.780 It's knowing how not to do things.
00:16:34.500 It's knowing how not to behave.
00:16:37.560 Or how not to execute.
00:16:41.120 Nobody knows when they start.
00:16:43.000 The only reason that people know is because they've been through it without quitting.
00:16:49.920 And you guys are out there searching for the miracle fucking thing.
00:16:54.620 You think it's going to come to you in somebody's fucking meme.
00:16:58.900 You know, all the spiritual gurus out there right now posting their stupid fucking memes that don't mean shit in real life.
00:17:05.580 That's what you think is going to make you feel good?
00:17:08.520 No, motherfucker.
00:17:09.820 Doing the work is going to make you feel good.
00:17:11.520 Taking pride in that shit.
00:17:13.060 Okay?
00:17:14.120 Doing the things that you know you're supposed to do and taking pride in it.
00:17:16.960 And taking pride in the fact that when things are tough and you don't quit, you know that other motherfuckers are quitting.
00:17:24.020 Which means your competition is getting less and less.
00:17:26.560 I talk about this a lot if you listen to the podcast.
00:17:29.940 We talk about how the competition is the greatest at the bottom of the pyramid.
00:17:33.400 The reason the competition is the greatest at the bottom of the pyramid is because it's easy.
00:17:38.520 And everybody's doing it.
00:17:40.120 But as shit gets progressively harder, when you have to go one, two, three years without a paycheck like I did.
00:17:47.240 And then seven more making $695 fucking dollars a month.
00:17:51.080 Working other jobs to keep your fucking place open.
00:17:54.040 Guess what?
00:17:55.120 Everybody else quits during that time.
00:17:57.220 So, by default, 10, 12, 13 years in, I'm standing higher than everybody just because I didn't quit.
00:18:05.280 And you guys fail to grasp that concept.
00:18:08.580 It's learning how to endure.
00:18:11.960 It's learning how to reframe struggle and seeing it as a privilege.
00:18:16.440 It's learning how to reframe frustration and seeing it as a driver for your success.
00:18:23.600 You can read all the feel-good fucking memes you want.
00:18:26.200 Be my guest.
00:18:26.960 But not one of those motherfuckers, not one, will be as powerful as you, not just enduring your struggles and enduring your frustration,
00:18:38.260 but turning them into a privilege, knowing that they're teaching you a lesson,
00:18:44.240 knowing that other people who aren't as gritty and tough as you are quitting while you're sitting there suffering.
00:18:52.180 Suffering is a fucking privilege.
00:18:54.860 And a lot of you guys will argue with that.
00:18:56.940 A lot of you guys will cry at that.
00:18:58.880 A lot of you guys will whine about that.
00:19:00.840 A lot of you motherfuckers say, oh, what do you know about struggle?
00:19:03.840 You're fucking rich.
00:19:04.580 Motherfucker, I've struggled more than you will ever possibly know.
00:19:10.040 And that's a fucking fact.
00:19:12.140 You guys have to learn that if you're going to be confident, if you're going to be success,
00:19:17.940 if you're going to have swag, if you're going to have that energy that attracts people,
00:19:22.740 not just mates, but friends, positive relationships, great culture, great employees,
00:19:28.440 you are going to have to understand how to see every single thing that every other person on the earth sees as negative,
00:19:37.860 as a positive.
00:19:39.620 And when you do that, when you figure that out, and when you execute it,
00:19:44.680 you are going to see your confidence go up.
00:19:47.060 You are going to see your self-esteem go up.
00:19:49.760 You are going to see your performance go up.
00:19:52.440 You are going to see your level of relationships go up.
00:19:55.280 And most of all, you're going to see your fucking income go up.