SUNDAY SERMON： Cash Flow, Character, and Creating Amazing Connections, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO284
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 17 minutes
Words per Minute
203.24074
Summary
DJ DJ God joins the CEO and Andy to discuss the life and career of rapper Eazy-E. They also discuss the new movie "Straight Outta Compton" and Eazy's impact on hip-hop culture.
Transcript
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If you want to make your dream become reality, the people that are running after their dream know they're going to have hard times.
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They keep on running because they're saying within themselves, I'm the one, I'm the one.
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No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going to make it.
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What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project.
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I'm Andy, I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO.
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Today is Sunday Sermon. You know what that means.
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We're going to fill your heart. We're going to fill your soul.
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Wait, I'm just kidding. Can't replace Jesus, can you, Vaughn?
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We do have the second best thing, though, and that's DJ DJ God.
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Listen, when they're playing Eazy-E in the warehouse, it's going to be a good day.
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Dude, I went back there, and they did not know who that was.
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And I walked back there. They didn't actually know who was Eazy-E?
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No. I was making them guess, and they were guessing all kinds of stuff.
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We have a moral crisis in our planet, or in our country, when young people don't know who Eazy-E is.
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But I do confess that in spite of your encouragements for me to watch the movie, I have still not watched, not Boys in the Hood, the one about NWA. What was it called? You told me it was a really good movie.
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It's awesome. I can't think of the name of it right now.
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It makes every middle-aged white dude feel like a gangster.
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It was too legit to quit when we were listening to Eazy-E back in the day.
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And you do that side-to-side dance that you used to do.
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You guys can't see me, but I'm making the too legit to quit thing.
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Dude, you know Vaughn's at home practicing his parachute pants.
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Dude, I bet he could teach you some stuff about what not to do with money.
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I mean, it's kind of sad because he was so generous, you know?
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Basically, the story is that everybody and their brother who knew him came out of the woodwork
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And he started supporting them and helping them.
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Did you actually have family members that you literally never talked to that once you
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Every single one of them was the same people that would like say like condescending shit
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Every single one of them was the people, you know, who say the famous line, oh, you still
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Every single one of those people that asked me for money or asked me for help or asked
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me for this or that or a job, every single one was one of those people.
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So, in other news, you are normally a somewhat intense individual who expresses yourself in
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But I have noticed in the last couple of days that there has been maybe an additional
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I didn't know what it was because I came home the other day and Emily was like, what's going
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And I didn't put it all together, but we actually did come out with a new product that I started
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taking that has been really getting me good energy and making me feel good.
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But I didn't put that together as to why I started feeling good.
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The truth is, man, is like, I'm just tired of this fucking space.
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And I know I go through this shit and you guys have been through, you know, hearing
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And I'm not talking about the fitness business.
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I'm talking about the success entrepreneur space.
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You know, I'm so sick of the predatory mentality and, you know, getting people to come to an
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event, pay $5,000 or $1,000 or fucking $15,000 to go to a fucking event only to be fucking sold
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And like, dude, I can't, I can't stand by and say nothing about that.
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If you're too unaware to realize what's happening, I have a moral responsibility to point it
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Like, I don't think it's okay for someone who's in the beginning of their journey looking
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at someone and there's not just one person does this.
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There's lots of people that do this, but looking at people that are successful and saying, I'm
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going to go to this event, I'm going to pay $5,000 to learn from this person or $1,000
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when they don't fucking have it and they're racking it up on their credit card or they're
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asking their parents or they're going into debt to get to these things only to be told,
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well, to really learn this stuff, you got to buy this.
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And then, dude, I don't, I don't agree with that and I'm over it and it's fucking wrong.
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You know, at some point the greed has to be fucking exposed and you know, the good
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thing is, is all I'm doing is making people fucking raise their eyebrows and say, man,
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Pay attention because this is what everybody does.
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Everybody does this shit and that you wonder why I'm not speaking.
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That's why I'm not fucking speaking because there's very few opportunities to speak that
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You know, and I'm tired of people using my name and my pool and my loyal following, you
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guys, to draw you guys in only to sell you guys other shit.
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You know, Ed and I do our own event and that's fine.
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I fucking bring, I'll, I'll put a fucking event on that's, that's only one day long that
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you'll learn fucking 20 fucking 200 X the shit that you're going to learn anywhere else.
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And not only that, you want to buy nothing else.
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You know, and I have real entrepreneurs teaching it and that's social media fucking blue check
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I'm talking about real motherfuckers, people in our syndicate that fucking are actual entrepreneurs.
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Like, dude, that's what needs to, that's what this space needs to be.
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I understand people making money and I understand, I am not against that.
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Like if I, if you come to my event and I teach you enough shit and you go out and make money
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and I made a little bit of money from the event, that's fair because I'm offering you
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But like, if I were just, if you were just to come to an event and me just, you know,
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say, oh, well, to really learn this, you got to do this and give me fucking 20 more grand.
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And, and, uh, and you know, I do believe that the education system is changing.
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Uh, I believe a reckoning is coming for people that fucking operate that way.
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Um, I mean, imagine going to school, dude, and you pay fucking, you know, $15,000, $20,000
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Which is fucking less than some of these events costs, by the way.
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And you go there and in every single class, the teacher says, all right, I'm going to
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And at the end of the hour, I'm going to charge you another 15 grand if you really want to
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And like people don't realize what's happening when they go to these things.
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And dude, that's, that goes against my core value beliefs.
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I believe that moving forward, I believe that events that are going to operate that way
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are going to go fucking by the wayside and people are, people are starting to see through
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And they're starting to make sense of what's actually going on.
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And I believe that, you know, and some of you influencers out there need to fucking listen
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to this because I'm rarely wrong about things like this, but I believe that people are getting
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And I believe people are going to gravitate towards that.
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And I think that, you know, anybody who does what I'm talking about is going to be weeded
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They might make a few bucks tomorrow and they might make a few bucks next year.
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But eventually this, this revolution is going to happen.
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And if you're not providing actual content and if you actually haven't done it, you're
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And if you want to be the person who tries to sell info products or tries to sell courses
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or tries to sell events, number one, you better have done that shit yourself because people
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They're sick of the 19, 20 to 25 year old kid who's never built a fucking company talking
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about how they are going to show you how to do X, Y, Z.
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And whatever fucking money you're making off of that right now, it's going to stop.
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And two, if you are going to offer those kinds of things, you're going to have to deliver
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So you're going to have to be qualified and you're going to have to know what the fuck
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And I think that you're going to see a revolution of that.
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And I can tell you right now, uh, Ed and I, my let, we are committed to making that happen.
00:10:25.140
You know, I spoke at fucking 10 events last year that were fucking total pitch fest, bullshit
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You know, by the end of the year, I had already committed all these things.
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I was so disgusted at the last, the one of the last events I spoke at, dude, I almost
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Cause I felt so guilty about what was going on.
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I had everybody calling me and texting me and saying, dude, let's go hang out.
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I was so sick to my stomach that I called the pilot and I said, I was supposed to leave
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I called my pilot and I said, Hey, I want to leave right now.
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And I'm, I know you did because you came home and talked about it.
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And I'm just not going to, I'm not going to be a part of that.
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And we, we kind of discovered this when, when you started.
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It's a good thing to get mad about, but it, it, something else that we discovered when you
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There's a big difference between hating and telling the truth.
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And a lot of people, you know, who do this shit have reached out to me and be like, why
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I've never fucking, I've never built a dollar off of taking advantage of somebody.
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In fact, dude, I think we're the only company on earth that offers 110% money back guarantee
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Like, dude, if it didn't help you, fuck, I'll give you your money back plus 10%.
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I personally believe that that's how business should be done.
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If you don't offer real value, you should not feel good about taking somebody's money.
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And that seems to be, you know, when you're young and you're hungry and you don't have
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any money, you want the money so bad, you're willing to bend your integrity.
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But the problem with that is, is that long term, people remember that you bet your integrity.
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You know, so you have a hard time coming back from that.
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And dude, and you're also short-sighted from an economical standpoint.
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There's not enough fucking people in this, in this world that you're going to be able
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to get in front of that are going to be able to, you know, you're going to be able to recycle
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And this is a fundamental aspect of your business that you need to think about and your integrity
00:12:55.540
So whereas 20 years ago, these fucking scammers could get a get away with doing seminar after
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seminar, seminar, and that could be their career.
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They could do one every fucking week all across the country.
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Now, if you do that and you're not selling real shit, guess what?
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So some of these guys who are out there doing this shit, it's just a matter of time before
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everybody just starts piling on and saying, dude, that guy's done.
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And the reality is, is that this, this economy, this way of doing business, uh, this culture
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You know, you have to go to an event and walk away and say, holy shit, that was the
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It has to deliver that much value or it's not going to work.
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You know, people can talk about Tony Robbins all they want, but I don't fucking know many
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people that have gone to a Tony Robbins event that don't walk out saying, holy shit, dude,
00:14:01.340
Even though it is kind of cheesy and it is kind of fluffy and it is kind of hokey.
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Like, so the last thing I want to come across is like, I'm knocking what he does.
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It's just a different style and he's very good at it.
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It truly helps people, which is why Tony Robbins does whatever he did, $500 million a
00:14:34.520
Well, we know this because when you started the, here's another aspect of this.
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When you started the Arte Syndicate and we got these, you know, 10,000 applications,
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there were certain people who contacted us who said, you know, I can't afford it, but
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I found out recently that they have something called self-development loans.
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Like there are actually banks or there are actually entities.
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There's actually entities out there now that are saying, we'll give you a loan for self-development
00:15:03.360
Well, but I remember we were talking about this and I remember you basically told certain
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people, listen, if you can't afford this, we don't want you going into debt for this.
00:15:12.360
I had people, I don't remember that self-development loan shit, but I was probably zoned out.
00:15:17.760
There was some lady that told him, I'm going to take a self-development.
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Because we were like, no, you're not going into debt for this.
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I think we told her she needed to go to the accelerator.
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But the point is, is that dude, and you'll talk to very few people in our group that,
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I mean, I don't think we'll talk to anybody that isn't going to say, fuck, it's amazing.
00:15:48.100
Yeah, but dude, we could have signed up all 10,000 and took all their fucking money.
00:16:19.460
That we fucking turned down over what was the right thing to do.
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You know, my fucking integrity and my self-esteem, my confidence, and my conscious is not for
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But I don't want to be the guy who looks at all that shit and feels bad about how I got
00:16:51.500
You know, Gary Vaynerchuk says a very true thing that it's hard to understand that's young.
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And he says, how you make your money is more important than how much you make.
00:17:05.000
You know, I could have started a porno site when I was fucking 19 years old and been rich
00:17:11.500
And I thought about it, to be completely honest.
00:17:13.700
But I was like, but I swear to God, I talked to my dad.
00:17:18.880
And he's like, he's like, look, he's like, I know that you can make a lot of money, but
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And you don't want to be, you don't want to go to business functions and this and that
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But I'm lucky enough to have somebody who was there to guide me.
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Because when you're young, you don't realize, because you're starving, dude.
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It ties into what we talked about the other day, about these younger guys using the tools
00:17:47.820
available to them to actually create income to roll into a real brand versus just like,
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you know, making the money and going out and buying fucking Gucci's and fucking Supreme
00:18:02.300
Your point, to me, it's a lose-lose situation if you do that.
00:18:20.740
No, but if you do the kind of thing that you just said, like you-
00:18:24.380
In all defense, dude, I did give Tyler his Gucci shoes.
00:18:34.660
Dude, I like the Gucci flip-flops just because of that song that Future had.
00:18:45.040
Dude, that line makes me laugh so fucking hard.
00:18:48.200
After I heard that line, I'm like, dude, I'm getting some Gucci flip-flops.
00:18:50.880
So it's a lose-lose situation if you earn your money the wrong way because if you do keep
00:18:56.080
a conscience about it, you're going to be miserable.
00:19:01.960
You can actually sear your conscience where you don't feel it anyway, and what kind of
00:19:09.660
A soulless sociopath who literally exists to sell.
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To sell, to sell, to sell, to make money, and that's why you exist.
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Because everybody would see you and look at you and know that you were a joke, know that
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When you do wake up from that, you're going to look at yourself in the mirror and hate
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I just see a lot of people going about this the wrong way right now because of the tools that
00:19:49.200
And I think a lot of people in 15 years are, A, not going to have an opportunity because
00:19:55.800
they ran their own brand through the mud and nobody's going to trust them.
00:20:00.300
B, if they do make a little bit of money, they're going to feel real shitty about how
00:20:06.780
C, you're going to be jumping, you know, it's just like we talked about the other podcast.
00:20:12.600
You're going to be chasing the cheese, you know, one cheese to another cheese to another
00:20:16.640
And eventually that fucking mousetrap is going to smack down your head and you're going
00:20:21.060
Not only that, but they're missing out on one of the coolest experiences ever in building
00:20:25.460
Dude, which, which did I not say this in our meeting the other day, the one we had over
00:20:31.320
I said, dude, the best part about this company is coming to work every day.
00:20:39.400
Like I would be so unfulfilled if I didn't get to come here.
00:20:43.260
And, and dude, I asked that in our meeting the other day and I didn't make anybody raise
00:20:47.740
Cause I didn't, you know, obviously if I say it, they're going to say, yeah, but like
00:20:53.460
They're like, yeah, dude, this is, this is awesome.
00:20:56.280
And, uh, we were talking, what were we talking about last night in the media room?
00:21:03.780
But when we talked about last night in the media room, yeah, you, we had just made your Lamborghini
00:21:09.900
But, uh, yeah, you, you would just say me, you and Alex were talking, you were just sitting
00:21:14.120
there and he just randomly looks up and he goes, fuck, I love coming to work here.
00:21:18.780
And then Tyler's like, well, I have a fucking job.
00:21:21.660
Well, I have to say at this point in the year, it would be a lot more fulfilling if we
00:21:28.180
Cause being in St. Louis, you were such a whiner.
00:21:33.200
You live fucking 40 miles away from anything cool.
00:21:36.240
Like, why do you, you, you, that'd be like saying Chicago sucks, but living, my mom
00:21:48.980
Dude, you need to be in a good area, like close in, like where we are.
00:21:54.240
I've been told, you told me that I should, I would prefer Kirkwood because I believe
00:21:57.780
the exact words were you could hang out with all the other latte drinking nerds.
00:22:09.060
Dude, listen, somebody's got to lead these nerds.
00:22:18.340
I mean, that's where, that's where Billy G's is.
00:22:21.640
I live one, literally one street over from being in Kirkwood.
00:22:32.340
Well, yeah, but it's also, it has a little bit of money too.
00:22:34.920
So it, it, it still has that, this, a little bit of the success.
00:22:39.520
And then also it has that down to earth feel to it.
00:22:48.640
That's exactly what I'm trying to say for sure.
00:22:51.460
Like you don't, you're, it, it, it, it's just a good area, dude.
00:22:54.980
Like I'm telling you that's where you should be living.
00:23:01.820
And actually that Mexican restaurant down in Kirkwood.
00:23:08.220
The only problem is, is they don't sell our tequila there.
00:23:10.660
Most of these people listening don't even know that we have tequila.
00:23:16.160
The best tequila in the world, not my words, the Tequila Association's words.
00:23:24.880
We're only, we're only sold and we're only distributed in like five states right now.
00:23:28.520
We're going to talk about that next week, by the way, guys.
00:23:34.360
Because like a lot of the people right now listening, they want to know how to build their influence
00:23:39.620
If not just for their own business, but for them, for, uh, to get, you know, get paid to post.
00:23:46.000
And so next week we're going to talk about how step by step, how to be successful in
00:23:51.520
social media, uh, as an influencer, um, from here on out, not from, we're going to cover
00:23:58.740
what worked up until now and what's going to work for the next three or four years.
00:24:01.880
Uh, which I'm excited to do because I feel like a lot of people right now are really
00:24:10.040
So anyway, so I'm going to tell a story to transition us into our actual job.
00:24:16.280
Sorry guys, but you know, your job is to transition and keep me from talking too much.
00:24:24.980
So when I was still in college and I was studying, you know, I thought that I was going to be
00:24:29.600
a pastor and I was getting ready to be a pastor, going to seminary and everything.
00:24:32.540
We had a special speaker come to our church, excuse me, come to our school.
00:24:39.840
And so he came, he preached, he had a, he had a great message.
00:24:43.340
And then afterwards you could go up and you could talk to him.
00:24:46.280
And there was this huge line of students and it was just going so freaking slow.
00:24:53.940
And I kept on thinking, come on, come on, let's go, get on with it, get on with it.
00:24:58.800
Well, when I got up to the line to talk to him, he looked at me, starts talking, I start
00:25:06.180
engaging him and literally it's almost like nobody else is there.
00:25:15.180
Like the way that he asked questions, the way that, the way that he drew out my interests
00:25:22.000
I mean, it was, it was like a sorcerer level, uh, interpersonal skill.
00:25:26.680
And, and that's what I wanted to talk about today, because I think you are really good at
00:25:35.060
You like to go, you know, really lock in, go deep, see, you know, draw the, the,
00:25:39.640
So I thought what we would talk about, this is a Sunday sermon is if you want to make
00:25:43.300
an impact on people, you got to learn how to listen.
00:25:47.780
This kind of goes along what we talked about just five minutes ago or whatever for, look,
00:25:55.420
Like if you're paying to come see me, if you paid to come see me speak and I get paid well
00:26:10.640
So I feel like when we do, and it sucks too, man.
00:26:13.580
And Tyler's been to literally every event that I've ever spoke at, dude, I get mobbed.
00:26:18.420
And, and a lot of times I have to leave without talking to anybody because we're going to
00:26:27.280
This is another reason why I don't like the way traditional events are set up.
00:26:30.880
Um, but I feel like, dude, if these people paid, you know, 500, 5,000, whatever the ticket
00:26:38.340
price is, dude, it's my job to care when they're, when they're telling me something or asking
00:26:46.700
I don't take it as like, Oh, I'm a big shot and let me fucking blow you off.
00:26:52.140
You know, I, I value what they had to say because dude, that's why I'm there.
00:26:58.140
Well, dude, that last summer when you guys had that event in Kansas city where you started
00:27:02.800
leaving and then you came back because you realized that there was a kid waiting for
00:27:11.620
And that, I, I ended up hanging out with that kid later on the day cause he just found
00:27:15.560
out that I was going to be at another restaurant and he was just beaming.
00:27:18.580
He was like, man, I couldn't believe he did that.
00:27:20.460
That's never, you know, but that's the kind of thing that affects people.
00:27:25.100
Well, dude, you don't have to be some sort of multi-millionaire public speaker to be able
00:27:32.780
And, um, if you're asking like how to do that, I guess what are we talking about?
00:27:39.520
Let's, let's, let's talk about like, a lot of people hear the thing of, you know, to be
00:27:44.240
a good listener, you have, you have to ask really good questions.
00:27:49.620
Like they don't even know the art of asking questions, of drawing people out.
00:27:53.120
Um, so what kinds of questions would you say, uh, are good for, for like really starting
00:28:00.560
to draw people out, starting to establish that rapport to where when you're done with
00:28:05.620
that conversation, they're going to walk away and just be like, you know, Tommy boy, I've
00:28:09.240
experienced a lot of things in my life, but that was awesome.
00:28:12.940
You know, I think that you have to understand something up front is that people like to
00:28:17.660
Like they don't, you have to know your role, right?
00:28:20.880
Like if you've just got done putting on a, and this is not for just speaking, this is
00:28:28.900
If you're on a date, the other person wants to talk.
00:28:32.800
Um, so the one thing I try to do and I've always tried to teach our team is, is to ask
00:28:36.860
open-ended questions, you know, not like, do you like French fries, but more like what
00:28:43.180
kind of food do you like the most and let them talk.
00:28:46.200
And then, you know, that kind of tells you what they value, what they like.
00:28:54.280
Oh, well, you know, what I really like is, is Belgian waffles on a Sunday morning with
00:29:07.820
You know, like that kind of shit and reinforce what their beliefs are.
00:29:11.260
Not disingenuous, but like, you know, if I really do like blueberry, I'll say I like
00:29:16.620
blueberry, but if I don't and I prefer maple, I'd be like, yeah, dude, I, I used to like
00:29:24.740
And it's amazing how quickly you could transition from that.
00:29:29.840
You start with the concrete, sort of the everyday things.
00:29:32.320
And I know you've said you don't like, uh, you know, like small talk, but a little bit
00:29:36.820
of small talk is obviously important because if you don't have small talk, if you don't
00:29:45.600
And if you're actually trying to create an experience for someone, you have to care.
00:29:50.220
So like, while it might say, well, the example I just gave might sound like I'm just going
00:29:54.720
through some bullshit when you're actually engaged with someone, you know, I'm looking
00:29:59.800
in the eye, I'm, I'm, I'm actually asking them what the fuck they think, why they think
00:30:07.560
And I'm giving them my feedback on what I think.
00:30:09.980
And my feedback might not agree with what they think, but I still respect what they
00:30:15.560
So like people, people don't understand that to create real rapport, you don't have to
00:30:21.820
You've just got to hear it and then let them hear you.
00:30:27.360
So I think one of the worst things you can ask somebody that we ask everybody on a day
00:30:45.960
But the reason people are okay with asking how was your day is because they don't give
00:30:52.260
If they really cared, they'd say, Hey, dude, tell me about the best part of your day.
00:30:58.320
And then if the person said something like, Oh man, it was cool.
00:31:01.040
I got to go to the dinner with my mom and I hung out and we went shopping and we had
00:31:05.560
You already know that that person values family above everything else because of the way they
00:31:12.520
So you could tell so much more about people when you actually asked real questions versus
00:31:18.980
cause like, dude, when you say, how was your day?
00:31:22.160
You just missed out on a huge opportunity to learn.
00:31:25.720
Because you're selfish and you want to move through the conversation.
00:31:34.260
You know what that person's priorities are automatically.
00:31:38.560
You've also opened up a whole opportunity to talk about any number of things related to
00:31:44.600
You know, they've given you clues on how to bond with them.
00:31:47.920
And people get so in a hurry to get to the sale or whatever the ask is right at the end
00:31:54.040
of the conversation that they just ripped through this shit quick and they miss these
00:32:02.100
And then when you get, when you get the sale at the end, the person might buy, but they're
00:32:07.880
not buying again and they're not saying, man, I just had the most amazing experience with
00:32:13.720
I waited in line for two hours to talk to him and he took 20 minutes to talk to me and he
00:32:20.460
He was really, dude, he was way fucking cooler than I thought he was going to be.
00:32:23.900
And you're passing up that opportunity because you're so quick to just move through people.
00:32:28.440
You know, and this goes with any conversation, dude.
00:32:31.400
We have this event here, summer smash for first form.
00:32:34.100
I literally have to stand in the same fucking spot for nine or 10 hours at a time.
00:32:50.760
It is fucking hard and it is tiring and it is exhausting.
00:32:56.080
I respect the fact that those people spent their time and their money to travel here and to
00:33:05.300
When I get tired, when I get frustrated, when I get thirsty, when I get sweaty, I don't get
00:33:12.900
Like, I still give everybody the opportunity to connect because they deserve it.
00:33:18.580
They just spent fucking two grand and their summer days off and some of their family vacation
00:33:22.900
to come visit me and see me and see our company and see the team.
00:33:32.620
So it's really come, dude, the baseline is, is that you have to care first before people
00:33:38.840
are going to give a fuck about what it is you're trying to sell them.
00:33:42.920
And when, and the cool thing is, is like when you really connect with people, I mean, how
00:33:48.140
many people do we see Tyler that say, that say this shit, dude, I love first form.
00:33:53.740
The only way I fucking tried first form was because I loved your podcast.
00:33:58.460
I mean, it's literally nowadays, it's probably closer to 50%.
00:34:02.700
It's, it's, it's a huge driver for business, but not because I get on here and I say, how
00:34:07.880
many times have I said in the last four years about products that we have or this or that
00:34:12.720
Like I might mention, like today I mentioned the one product, but I didn't say what his
00:34:17.500
I didn't tell people to go buy it because I don't have to.
00:34:21.920
Because I care about these people and you know what?
00:34:25.580
And when you care and they care back, you have a mutually beneficial relationship.
00:34:32.780
And most people are so hungry to get to the sale.
00:34:37.740
That they skip the important part, which is the person.
00:34:40.240
And I'm glad you said sale because people might be thinking, well, wait a minute, wait
00:34:45.920
You're always selling because the heart of life is influencing others.
00:34:53.380
You might not be quote unquote selling in the terms of traditional sense of selling, but
00:35:00.140
you are, every conversation that you have is a sale of yourself.
00:35:04.940
And if people buy you, they're going to buy your fucking product.
00:35:08.640
And that's something that everybody, not everybody, but most of the people listening right now
00:35:19.680
Dude, like for example, like let's just say you're a social media influencer and let's
00:35:25.320
say that, you know, you post something and somebody writes you a question and says, hey,
00:35:35.020
And the person says, well, first of all, how much are you working out?
00:35:46.720
And they ask you all these questions and they have a conversation with you that will go.
00:35:50.340
Now you're like, fuck, this person could have easily just told me where the protein was
00:35:55.220
You might even be kind of annoyed because you're like, fuck, all I want to know is where the
00:35:59.560
But at the end of that conversation, you're like, fuck, this person cares.
00:36:05.340
And that's important because it's not about the first sale.
00:36:09.040
Dude, if you want to do the first sale and that's all you're worried about, go out and
00:36:12.600
buy any of these sales motherfuckers courses and they'll show you how to get one sale.
00:36:16.520
But what I'm showing you how to get and what we're talking about right now is how to create
00:36:21.060
a lifetime of not just sales, but friends and advocates that will automatically put you
00:36:28.240
in front of their friends just because you fucking care.
00:36:32.580
You know, in one of the calls, Ed was talking about, he has this camera guy that struggles
00:36:39.040
with certain things, but the guy was recording Ed doing a presentation and Ed actually referred
00:36:45.440
to the guy and referred to something good that the guy was good at.
00:36:48.580
And he said that my cameraman actually got emotional.
00:36:52.160
And he said, and the point that Ed was making to the RTA Accelerator people was the reason
00:36:56.460
that the guy got emotional was that the things that I was saying about him was true.
00:37:00.500
And I only knew it was true because I knew him really well.
00:37:04.220
And so in this process of asking questions about people, when you gain all this information
00:37:09.280
about them, it makes you that much more equipped to say things that are meaningful to them.
00:37:15.420
Dude, and honestly, if we're talking about Ed, Ed is the master of that.
00:37:23.020
I'm still trying to learn from you guys how to be better at this.
00:37:32.800
But I mean, I think just that other-centered approach, you know, like when you say every-
00:37:42.420
By the way, when Ed does that, he's being genuine.
00:37:51.600
And like, I've never met someone at such a high level of success that he is that still
00:37:56.780
truly cares as much as he does about every single person he meets.
00:38:03.220
I say, of anybody I've ever met associated with you, he is hands down the most impressive,
00:38:12.260
But so let me back up just for a second, because I know when you were asking, you know,
00:38:17.000
what's the best part of your day or asking questions that reveal value, I got to say
00:38:21.480
that just as a small little tip, I think one of the best sort of two-part series to ask
00:38:27.360
people about themselves, the first part is basically a one-word answer, but the second
00:38:36.420
And then you say, what's your favorite thing about where you're from?
00:38:39.820
Because that will reveal so much about that person.
00:38:43.620
Because for one thing, most people, unless they had a really, really weird experience growing
00:38:54.520
And they'll say something like, oh, man, I love it that I grew up in Kansas, and we have
00:39:00.840
Or somebody might say, I grew up in St. Louis, and St. Louis is known for the Cardinals or
00:39:06.840
But it just, it shows, it gives people, once again, it gives you an opportunity to hear what's
00:39:14.260
And people have such a tight connection between where they grew up and who they are, that you
00:39:19.840
really value people when you ask them about that.
00:39:22.980
And whenever you ask them about that, you find out about so many things that you probably
00:39:38.660
So that's a great way to skip all the bullshit and get to talking.
00:39:42.620
And what I like about that, about that idea and saying, you know, those questions is that
00:39:52.680
Like they'll fucking, you know, you get into like a basketball conversation or hockey or
00:39:56.580
baseball or football, and they talk a little shit and do, there's no quicker way to get
00:40:01.100
rapport with someone than to bust their balls a little bit about what it is they really like.
00:40:06.740
That, you know, what's funny is I, I, I, I'm just now, as we're talking about it, I
00:40:12.500
do that every, almost every time I meet someone.
00:40:15.180
Like the way I connect with them right away is I'll fucking make fun of them a little
00:40:20.800
You know, that's fucking, and like, dude, it's automatically, they're like, this guy's,
00:40:30.580
Sometimes people try a swing on that and they're not real good.
00:40:33.280
So like, if you're from this area, you know, and then you meet somebody who finds out you're
00:40:36.920
from St. Louis and I don't know how many times I've gotten like, oh, Ferguson, huh?
00:40:45.780
So be careful in how you clown on people because it can really backfire, but you're good at
00:40:51.460
Just, it shows, it shows that, that, uh, you're able to poke fun and have, you know, have fun
00:41:03.180
That's why making fun of me on the internet doesn't fucking work.
00:41:08.300
And then, of course, then you, and then you shoot back at them and then they go cower.
00:41:16.240
I don't know where people, why people have, have, uh, I don't know why people have not
00:41:24.160
I'm the Floyd fucking Mayweather of the internet.
00:41:30.840
There's a million other motherfuckers on the internet that talk shit and you'll probably
00:41:41.900
You said, ask questions that reveal what they value.
00:41:45.000
And use, and kind of use the knowledge that you gained from that to then lead the, lead
00:41:48.980
the conversation deeper into, uh, more rapport, more connection, more communication.
00:41:53.720
And then what, what's, I don't know, what's something else?
00:41:56.640
Like how do you, how to artfully and strategically use questions?
00:42:07.900
I would say, honestly, Vaughn, I'm naturally so used to doing this.
00:42:12.940
Like, you know, when I was young and people would approach me, like if I was, when I
00:42:18.300
was working retail, I would think of it as like a script.
00:42:25.700
And I, I would think of it as like this orderly script.
00:42:28.920
And every single time that I thought of it like that, it was awkward.
00:42:42.960
Um, when I abandoned that and I just said, you know what, I'm going to actually try to
00:42:52.840
And that's where this, where my skills come from.
00:42:55.640
So like, I haven't really ever analytically broke down how and why I do things.
00:43:01.420
It's just something I picked up along the way on the, in the retail business.
00:43:05.620
And that's why I like retail so much for young people right now.
00:43:09.180
Like if you're a young man or young woman and you have a business that you're trying
00:43:13.300
to start, you should go get a retail job to compliment that business so that you can
00:43:19.920
learn the skills of interpersonal connection, because you're going to deal with all different
00:43:23.460
kinds of people, all different races, all different, uh, you know, backgrounds, socioeconomic,
00:43:29.260
all different moods, which is a huge thing, right?
00:43:37.140
You get people who are rude, but that teaches you how to react in those situations.
00:43:41.280
And I think everybody who's starting in business should have to work retail for at least a couple
00:43:46.600
of years because dude, it teaches you so much shit.
00:43:54.540
We've talked a lot about this and I hope you do at some point that you're going to do a
00:43:57.580
full scale course on social skills, um, and interpersonal communication.
00:44:06.580
Dude, what I really want to do is a full scale course on how to pick up chicks for these young
00:44:13.700
I see some of these dudes and I'm just like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:44:16.760
Not that I'm like, you know, the Jesus of chick picking up him, but I'm just saying like
00:44:23.800
Well, so two things I would say, one is that one thing that I think drives your ability
00:44:29.980
to connect with people is that some people just listen for the sake of listening.
00:44:35.100
And I think you really do listen because you want to understand.
00:44:38.400
And it's a perfect case in point is that how many times is somebody in a conversation
00:44:44.900
where somebody that something that they're saying, you know, you're nodding, you're saying,
00:44:52.380
But you have no idea what the other person is saying, but just to be polite, you just
00:44:59.900
But when I've noticed when I talked to you, you're not like that.
00:45:02.680
You're like, I have no idea what you just said.
00:45:08.040
So, so that's the thing is when I catch myself zoning out, I don't just go along with
00:45:17.640
We all have shit going on in the back of our head and it's easy to zone out, especially
00:45:23.420
And so when people do that to me, man, you know, this goes back to, you want to know
00:45:31.000
This goes back to when I was in fucking grade school.
00:45:33.880
And, and, uh, my mom, they owned a VCR, my, my mom and stepdad owned a VCR repair shop.
00:45:41.280
And one day I was sick from school and I went to, I had to go to the repair shop because,
00:45:46.960
and I'm talking a little rinky dink store the size of this room.
00:45:51.620
It was like very, very, very lower, you know, it wasn't a successful business.
00:46:01.480
Um, and they had an employee and I can't remember the employee's name, but I was probably like
00:46:07.620
in seven, sixth grade or fifth grade or something.
00:46:10.980
And I went to the store and, and I used to like, you know how like, uh, MacGyver was
00:46:17.400
And like, so dude, nothing's more, nothing's more MacGyver ish.
00:46:20.860
So for all young people, MacGyver was this dude who would like create shit out of nothing.
00:46:25.980
But when you're a kid, there's nothing more MacGyver than the inside of a VCR.
00:46:30.920
All right, dude, you're pulling this shit apart and you're like trying to make, cause
00:46:34.680
there's all these cool parts in there, like pulleys and like weird shit and you're pulling
00:46:38.960
Just to clarify for a little bit more information for kids who don't know, literally this is
00:46:43.880
like a secret agent who'd be in a room with like, uh, a piece of bread, a dumbbell and
00:46:49.300
a clock and make a thermonuclear bomb out of it.
00:46:53.120
So like, I used to like, like, I used to like playing with the, with the broken VCRs
00:46:58.180
and thinking I was going to build some sort of fucking robot out of the shit, you know?
00:47:03.060
And you know, I never built anything cool, but I, you know, it was just something I liked
00:47:10.260
And, uh, the, the employee that was there, he's like, well, aren't you supposed to be in
00:47:15.400
And, and, uh, this guy probably got paid minimum wage, you know?
00:47:18.560
And I said, yeah, I said, but I don't like going to school.
00:47:23.120
And there was this kid who was like two years older than us who was, who had flunked like
00:47:28.020
two times and he was big and he always picked on me.
00:47:31.120
And I said, uh, and I still remember the kid's name.
00:47:33.800
I'm not going to say it, but I remember telling him like, yeah, but there's this kid, he's
00:47:38.240
flunked two times cause he's too fucking stupid.
00:47:46.300
And he goes, he goes, yeah, but what if he's at school today and he learned something
00:47:50.300
that actually makes him not stupid and you don't learn it because you're not at school?
00:47:54.680
And I, dude, I remember him saying that, like, he didn't say it like to, to make me feel
00:47:59.120
He was just kind of making a point and dude, that's stuck with me.
00:48:02.540
So like, so my whole life when I do that, when I zone out, when people are talking to
00:48:07.860
me, I always remember him telling me that from when I was in sixth grade, because I'm
00:48:12.260
like, well, what if they just said something that would actually change the way that I think
00:48:16.760
or the way that I operate or could fundamentally change who I was?
00:48:21.480
So that's why whenever like you say something to me, um, and I'm zoned out, I'll just call
00:48:27.020
myself out and be like, look, I don't, I didn't hear a word you were saying cause I was thinking
00:48:34.200
Or, or frankly, I didn't do a good job of explaining it.
00:48:37.220
So you just have to say, I'm sorry, I'm not following you.
00:48:39.660
And I think people really, really appreciate honesty.
00:48:48.540
Can you please, I really want to hear what you're having to say.
00:48:53.440
I mean, it's amazing how people are not willing to do that out of politeness, but in reality
00:48:57.120
they're being rude because they're saying, I don't care what they're saying.
00:49:00.220
People that have ADD, they use it as an excuse.
00:49:09.520
Um, anybody who's in entrepreneurship is going to develop some sort of fucking ADD.
00:49:18.860
Another, another area that I struggled with too, for a long time was remembering people's
00:49:22.980
So like, you know how, like when you shake someone's hand and they're like, Hey, I'm Steve.
00:49:27.720
And then by the time you're done meeting them, you forgot their fucking names.
00:49:31.020
So like one thing I do, one thing I do too, that I think will really help you guys with
00:49:35.500
this is, uh, when I shake someone's hand, if I'm meeting them in a group, I'll, I'll be
00:49:47.780
And, and, and, and then I'll go, Billy, Todd, Steve.
00:49:52.500
But really what I'm doing is just making sure I remember their fucking names.
00:50:02.580
But, uh, so there's this ancient, uh, method of remembering names.
00:50:10.680
And one of the things that they say is that you can remember things better if you, if you
00:50:22.800
Like this is literally like the, every dude, what you're saying is every dude that you meet,
00:50:34.560
I remember because I think about having sex with that man.
00:50:37.460
But the reality is they say that if you can associate something that has like that, that
00:50:44.480
And usually that means pain or pleasure, right?
00:50:47.240
They say you're more likely to remember that person.
00:50:49.820
So what you're saying is, is when you meet dudes, you imagine.
00:51:05.520
I remember you because I had a Brian choke me out once.
00:51:07.980
Let's say a real confession unless you really confess.
00:51:11.540
I am saying, though, that if you want to remember-
00:51:15.660
You know, they make this butt cream called Numbit.
00:51:20.000
Don't ask me how I fucking know that, by the way.
00:51:21.440
See, I have completely, completely derailed myself here.
00:51:24.800
No, but the point is that you're supposed to pick a feature about that person.
00:51:36.820
But no, you're supposed to, like, if they have red hair, you're supposed to associate that
00:51:43.020
So now you want to have sex with Ronald McDonald?
00:51:47.160
I'm doing a catastrophically bad job explaining this.
00:51:57.380
No, I know, but I'm trying to, and this is just the academic.
00:52:00.120
I'm providing information from ancient Greek wisdom.
00:52:06.220
It's basically saying if you can associate something with either pain or pleasure and have
00:52:11.260
some image that you link with that person, you will be more likely to remember their name.
00:52:22.500
I can't without, like, okay, so, no, I can't possibly.
00:52:36.520
But remembering people's names is very important.
00:52:38.940
And to your point, if you take a moment to remind yourself when you're saying their name,
00:52:46.540
Now, the other thing that's very powerful is eye contact, right?
00:52:51.980
So there's no, when you're listening to somebody, but you're looking off into the netherworld,
00:52:57.740
you're not going to exercise as much influence on people as if you're-
00:53:01.340
I feel like you got so weird that it just derailed the whole show.
00:53:04.180
Like, because now I'm thinking of you looking at Ronald McDonald in his eyes while you impact him.
00:53:17.820
Well, I guarantee if you do that, you're not going to forget the dude's name is Ronald.
00:53:31.820
You're going to get a bunch of Ronald McDonald memes thrown away, bro.
00:53:36.040
Everybody go put french fries in this comment section.
00:53:47.720
Oh, that may go down as the most derailed five minutes of our podcast.
00:53:53.080
Hey, does anybody know what the fuck Grimace is?
00:54:02.760
Dude, I think he's like a gumdrop or something.
00:54:17.940
Hey, Google what is Grimace on your phone there, Tyler.
00:54:20.300
I think we need to supply people with the actual answers.
00:54:24.820
I went my whole childhood wondering what the fuck that was.
00:54:37.580
No, it looks like you might have caught something.
00:54:52.360
I feel like people are misunderstanding the eggplant emoji.
00:54:57.220
No, because some people think that the green part on the eggplant emoji is the tip, right?
00:55:03.100
And other people think that the purple part is the tip.
00:55:06.280
But I'm here to set the record straight that the purple part is the tip.
00:55:19.200
Is the green part the tip on the eggplant emoji or the purple part?
00:55:29.780
I'm pretty sure I've never used the eggplant emoji in my entire life.
00:55:34.300
I don't know because, dude, when it's hard, it points up.
00:55:44.060
What's sad about all this is that I started all of this.
00:55:50.140
If you really want to connect with people, you look them in the eye when you're impacted
00:55:58.360
So Grimace, according to Wikipedia, he is a member of the wumpus species.
00:56:02.980
He's a wumpus with short arms and legs, which begs the question, what is a wumpus?
00:56:27.320
And don't just try to act like you understand what somebody's trying to say.
00:56:36.800
And then they want to get to the next question without even going into what they just asked about.
00:56:41.100
I've listened to some shitty-ass podcasts like that.
00:56:43.640
Like podcasts where you can tell they're interviewing people off a list of questions.
00:56:54.540
Don't act like you know what you're talking about when you don't.
00:56:58.320
What if you always know what you're talking about?
00:57:00.880
You know what's funny about that, too, is I feel like the more successful someone is,
00:57:04.980
the more they're willing to say, I don't really know that.
00:57:20.200
But I mean, just the bottom line is that showing a real genuine interest in people and not faking it.
00:57:28.460
You could do all this stuff we're talking about, and if you don't have that, it won't work.
00:57:36.140
And that's where people, they've been told that, though, right?
00:57:40.540
Like, if you go to any fucking sales course or summit or you're trained in most sales, you get some fucking script.
00:57:50.320
And I understand that scripts are sometimes needed for people to comprehend the way a conversation should go.
00:57:59.160
The goal is to understand the outline of the way it should go and then use your own tools to make that happen.
00:58:08.480
I think that that's a, you know, if you really want to become great at making people feel amazing, a.k.a. creating a great experience, a.k.a. selling shit, if you don't care about them up front, you can go through all the techniques.
00:58:25.360
You can make good physical contact and do slap on the back or kinetic reinforcement or remember their names or all this other shit, and it won't matter.
00:58:39.160
And people are smarter now than they were 30 years ago.
00:58:44.600
We have access to so much more transparency and so much more information that if you just try to do the way, like, some of these older books and these older things tell you to do it, you're going to look real silly because you're going to be this robotic thing.
00:59:01.320
And let me tell you something, too, when you're starting out, it's going to feel robotic.
00:59:06.060
Like, let's say a couple of these people listening will take my advice and go get a retail job, which most of them won't because they think that they're too good for it.
00:59:14.260
But the people that do, because they're committed to getting better, the people that do, first of all, you should.
00:59:22.720
Third of all, when you first do it, it's going to feel weird, man.
00:59:29.460
Like, I didn't step on a sales floor and be, like, the ultimate sales guy.
00:59:32.680
I was fucking terrible for a number of reasons.
00:59:38.700
All I cared about was selling shit because I didn't have any money.
00:59:41.560
And because I didn't have any money, money was important.
00:59:44.020
And because money was important, I cared about the money instead of the person.
00:59:49.020
So, when I dumped that thinking, because I got to a point where we were so far in business that I wasn't making any money.
00:59:59.140
And I started to realize that when I dumped that shit, I'm like, fuck it.
01:00:06.480
And when I went to that mentality, you have to be interested in people to help them.
01:00:14.720
It wasn't from some course or somebody telling me this.
01:00:17.280
It was literally from going, if I had figured this out on day one of business versus year 10 in business,
01:00:24.540
which is, you know, if you go back and listen to other podcasts, that's what I tell you.
01:00:28.080
The first 10 years of my business, I fucking was terrible.
01:00:31.220
I was the epitome of someone who didn't care about people.
01:00:37.440
And I remember, dude, I would make little games.
01:01:00.700
I used to play games with myself and be like, dude, I bet I can get this person to do this, this, and this.
01:01:13.600
I'm telling you guys that because I fucked it up.
01:01:16.380
And it wasn't until I fucked it up so bad and we weren't making any money to where I was a point where it was like,
01:01:22.180
I either have to move on to something better that's going to make me money or I'm going to have to reside myself to being broke.
01:01:32.500
And what I thought about was the two or three or ten success stories that I really loved.
01:01:38.500
Like, I thought about like, all right, I could go work construction.
01:01:44.180
I could go clean carpets and I will make more money.
01:01:47.940
But I remember like the five or the ten people that I had really helped.
01:01:56.180
That really, really, I saved their life like helping them get back to shit.
01:02:04.500
And that's what made me say, you know what, because I always wanted to be rich, man.
01:02:10.360
And it made me say to myself, you know what, maybe I wasn't, and this is before I knew,
01:02:16.580
before I believed that I was in control of my outcomes and things like that.
01:02:21.080
I actually thought, I'm like, all right, well, I guess I wasn't meant to be one of these wealthy people.
01:02:27.220
But I got a pretty cool job where I get to help people do these amazing things.
01:02:31.660
And so, I said, and I remember talking to Chris about this.
01:02:35.980
I said, dude, you know what, I think we should just do this even if we don't make that much money.
01:02:41.100
We'll be able to make enough money to live and it'll be fun and it'll be cool and we'll be able to make a difference.
01:02:46.300
And dude, when I dump that, when I dump that into our company, holy shit, dude.
01:02:51.620
We grew 100% five years in a row in literally the worst economy that has ever existed in the United States.
01:03:04.900
Off of changing the fucking, the mentality of going from worrying about selling a bunch of shit
01:03:11.440
to actually helping people get some sort of result.
01:03:14.340
And making sure that I did so in such a way that they couldn't help but tell other people about it.
01:03:20.240
And the reason that they couldn't help and tell other people about it is because it was so fucking real and genuine that they had to tell people.
01:03:30.460
And that's what I learned that, you know, we talk about this, I think, the morality of money.
01:03:37.360
I think we did a podcast on it or something like that.
01:03:41.160
But we talked about it, you know, that's where I realized that all the shit that I had been taught, you know,
01:03:46.620
about money being evil, if you make a lot of money, you're evil, you know, all that shit's bullshit.
01:03:52.600
Dude, in this day and age and in this fucking economy and the way information is shared and the connection
01:03:57.400
and the instant rapport, the instant ability to connect with other people and for them to tell them about you
01:04:05.120
and your business and their results and their experience with you, if you're making a lot of money right now
01:04:09.540
and there's a 98% chance that you're either A, completely fucking screwing people, which means you're not going to make a lot of money long term
01:04:20.100
or B, you are doing an amazing service for people that's actually changing them, actually benefiting, actually improving their existence
01:04:33.460
And if that's you, you are going to continue to grow and flourish and you don't have to worry about competition.
01:04:45.100
Dude, there's a lot of ways to fucking do that right now.
01:04:50.140
And they, they sell them, they sell them the, you know, the quick fix, whatever the quick fix is, because people want that.
01:04:59.100
And, uh, and then they deliver some bullshit and then people never buy from you again.
01:05:06.800
Some big fucking names are doing it, but those people are not going to fucking sustain.
01:05:12.800
They're going to, they're going to make their money.
01:05:16.360
Uh, they're going to have backlash and they're going to be done.
01:05:24.220
I can name a dozen people that I've seen that were on top of the world that aren't shit anymore because of that mentality.
01:05:29.320
So I've, I'm, and I'm seeing people who are even small that are making a great impact because they actually care.
01:05:40.080
They won't have to work for 19, 20 years to, or 15 years like I did to make a successful business because they have these tools now that could greatly accelerate their business.
01:05:51.880
But what you have to understand is those same tools can kill you just as fast, you know?
01:05:58.720
And so it's always important to do what's right by people.
01:06:01.260
And when you don't do what's right by people, you either got to fix it right away or you're going to suffer the consequences.
01:06:12.480
That means your intention should always be on point.
01:06:15.520
If your intention is, I'm going to fucking sell people this and then I'm going to sell them that and then I'm going to sell them this and then I'm going to sell them that.
01:06:22.680
Dude, your, your life cycle in business is going to be short.
01:06:31.980
You might even do it for a couple of years, but eventually word's going to get out and you're going to be done.
01:06:37.020
But if you do it right, if you do it with integrity, if you're doing it the right way, the exact opposite will happen to you.
01:06:47.980
People will bring you other people and your business will grow just as fast.
01:06:52.540
So, you know, if you're young right now and you're looking at like Andy Frisella and you say, fuck, dude, I want to be where he is or I want to be where Ed Milet is.
01:07:00.680
But Ed Milet's 48 years old and Andy's, you know, 39 or 38.
01:07:05.600
You know, these, these things when you're 20 years old, you're not going to have to put in the fucking 20 years because we didn't have these tools.
01:07:18.680
So it's going to accelerate the amount of time.
01:07:20.720
So like you can't let the time really scare you from doing it because your time frame is going to be so much shorter than mine or so much shorter than Ed's.
01:07:35.300
Five years sounds like a long time, but I'm going to tell you right now, five years goes by so fast.
01:07:43.680
And, um, and when you're 20, dude, five years sounds like a fucking lifetime.
01:07:50.780
I feel like the last three years have just blown by just to do it.
01:07:56.020
Um, I'll tell you of all the great things that you said, one thing that really struck out in my mind, uh, from you talking is the fact that once you decided to make it about helping people, once you decided to make it about doing the right thing, it was almost like you were infused with this near and vulnerable sense.
01:08:13.620
And what I want to say is, is that, you know, in this, in this environment, everybody Vaughn knows what's right and what's wrong.
01:08:24.640
They, they can, they can deny it, but they know it.
01:08:27.360
But I think in this environment, first form and, and, you know, you're a very strong personality.
01:08:31.900
I, you know, I'm not what I would call, you know, one of the alpha people around here.
01:08:35.380
But one of the things that I've always told people is I said, you know what, I'm not afraid to talk to anybody.
01:08:39.680
I could talk to the president of the United States.
01:08:41.440
I could talk to the waiter at, at the local bar.
01:08:43.900
And sometimes you'll, you'll talk, be talking to people about that and they'll say, man, how do you get that self-confidence?
01:08:49.580
And I think it's going exactly to what you're saying, which is really, you know what, the key to self-confidence is not focusing on yourself.
01:08:58.940
The key to self-confidence in many cases is just putting the focus on other people and helping them and having nothing to hide, having no hidden agenda.
01:09:09.560
And so by asking questions, by asking these, these open-ended questions, these questions that reveal value, these questions that, that help you understand where people are coming from and what they're all about, you're putting all the emphasis on that person.
01:09:26.380
You're not going to be worried about, oh, what do they think about me?
01:09:28.980
And that gives you just this supreme confidence that makes you extremely attractive to people and extremely impactful.
01:09:35.780
But the pre, the reason people, the reason that you're able to connect with people that way is the intent is always morally in a good spot.
01:09:47.200
So, so when your intent, all right, for example, like this is, and I'm just going to use this because I think a lot of the men in this listening to the podcast will, I will get this.
01:10:01.940
If you see an attractive female in the grocery store, why are you afraid to talk to her?
01:10:08.700
The reason you're afraid to talk to her is because you fucking want something from her.
01:10:14.000
If you eliminated the idea that you, that you want something from her and you just said, dude, I have a genuine compliment to give, or I have a conversation to have, or you're just looking at that person as another human, that pressure is gone.
01:10:29.340
And the reason that you're nervous, the reason that you're scared, the reason that you have trouble making a sales call or talking to a good looking female or a good looking male for you girls, which is okay to go up to a guy as well.
01:10:41.040
The reason that you're nervous is because your intent is in a place that you don't want them to see.
01:10:47.700
And when you don't want them to see your intent, now it's not genuine.
01:10:54.480
But if you know your intent's right, the conversation is easy.
01:11:01.540
Best way to increase your confidence is to adjust your agenda.
01:11:07.960
Stop needing to have, you know, what it is you think you want from that person.
01:11:15.220
And I know a lot of you guys are thinking like, oh, dude, but that girl just puts me in the friend zone.
01:11:19.660
Look, motherfucker, you're talking to the wrong chicks then.
01:11:23.800
The reason you get in the friend zone is because you fucking go from being a normal person.
01:11:30.540
You're treating them like you're putting them on some fucking pedestal.
01:11:52.640
It's like, stop trying, stop expecting this shit from everybody.
01:11:56.720
Like, the reason that you're afraid to come talk to me in public is because you probably want something from me.
01:12:02.620
You probably want some sort of information from me.
01:12:07.400
Dude, if you just want to meet somebody and talk to them, it's not that fucking hard.
01:12:11.700
And the reason it's hard is because your intent is not aligned with how it should be.
01:12:17.600
And dude, you want to accelerate that even more?
01:12:20.280
You want to accelerate the dilution of your fear of talking to people?
01:12:24.640
Make your intent of bringing value to that person.
01:12:30.300
You have, you have, now you don't even, you have nothing to be afraid of.
01:12:34.340
And not only do you have nothing to be afraid of, you have everything to gain because you know that your intent is to improve that person's life.
01:12:42.220
So now you have an obligation to talk to that person.
01:12:47.020
People can tell when you want something from them.
01:12:48.720
Dude, and honestly, people could tell when you're just there to help.
01:12:54.560
And along the lines of that relationship, just provide value without an agenda.
01:12:58.680
And a lot of people think providing value is like, oh, well, I got to like tag them in my Instagram post.
01:13:08.580
It could be making someone feel good by telling them that they're, you know, I really like your shoes or I really like your outfit or you look really nice.
01:13:16.680
Hey, dude, you want to learn how to communicate with people?
01:13:21.120
You want to practice on how to get better at this?
01:13:25.520
Every motherfucker that you see, find something that you think is positive about it.
01:13:32.280
Pay them a genuine compliment and walk the fuck away.
01:13:38.480
Like the old grandma with her, you know, hey, I really like your coat.
01:13:49.440
And if you deliver it in a way that's not creepy and not weird, just kind of off the cuff, authentic, people will value it.
01:13:56.900
If your intent is right, you will not ever be creepy.
01:14:02.880
People will be like, damn, that's a really nice guy.
01:14:06.180
And you're going to stand out so much right now because people are stuck to their phones and this social media society and all this shit that they don't have those connections.
01:14:19.840
So now you're in a situation where there's a huge advantage because you can stand out more.
01:14:35.340
I was thinking you were going to say an hour and 15.
01:14:49.620
We talked about Vaughn having sex with Ronald McDonald and making sure that when you have sex that it's painful and you look him in the eyes.
01:15:02.400
That was the key point of this whole conversation.
01:15:04.360
Look up memory palace and then you'll give me a little bit more credit.
01:15:11.540
So just in terms of macro stuff, you know, align your intent, provide value.
01:15:18.020
That'll give you great confidence, great moral clarity.
01:15:21.420
And then specifically, you just want to, you know, you want to ask open-ended questions.
01:15:25.040
You want to ask questions that demonstrate value so that you can learn what matters to that person so that you can treat them like they matter to you.
01:15:32.060
And then asking follow-up questions that are for the purpose of clarifying so that you can comprehend, so that you can connect.
01:15:40.000
And if you do that, you're really going to make an impact on people's lives.
01:15:44.840
But you're also going to exercise tremendous influence, which will make you wildly successful.
01:15:50.320
I think there's so many points in this podcast.
01:15:52.520
You should probably, like, and I'm not just saying, I don't say this about every podcast, but this is one that you need to go back and take notes through.
01:15:59.380
So, guys, from the Ronald McDonald fucker and myself, happy Sunday sermon.
01:16:09.880
Thank you so much for making this podcast what it is.
01:16:14.100
You know, we're one of the few podcasts that doesn't run ads and we don't market.
01:16:17.320
And our success in this message has everything to do with you guys sharing it.
01:16:26.520
I appreciate that because it makes me extremely proud.
01:16:30.060
It makes me know that, A, you guys are on the same page as us.
01:16:34.300
B, you're paying the fee that we ask, which is if you have value in an episode, please share it.
01:16:40.380
But most of all, I think there's a lot of pride because it's like, dude, we're beating the shit out of people who spend millions of dollars a year in advertising based off of what you guys are doing for us.
01:16:52.040
And I just can't tell you what that means for us.