REAL AF with Andy Frisella - SUNDAY SERMON： Desire, Dissatisfaction, and Wrestling with Restlessness, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO258

00:00:00.300 If you want to make your dream become reality, the people that are running after that dream know they're going to have hard times.

00:00:06.840 They keep on running because they're saying within themselves, I'm the one, I'm the one.

00:00:12.080 No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going to make it.

00:00:20.680 What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host.

00:00:26.460 And I am here to give you the Sunday sermon.

00:00:28.800 I can't say, I feel bad saying the mother effing CEO on Sunday, but then later in the podcast, I'm going to drop F-bombs.

00:00:38.940 So it's like, I don't know.

00:00:39.840 But it does provide a little bit of a distinction.

00:00:42.020 I'm making an effort. I'm making an effort.

00:00:43.880 Yeah, that's good.

00:00:45.080 So here we are.

00:00:46.420 And before we get to business, just to remind you guys, we have an iTunes review contest going on

00:00:51.720 where the winners will be flown to St. Louis, be treated like kings and queens,

00:00:56.180 get to sit down, have strategy, have coaching with me.

00:01:00.400 And then we're going to take you out to a nice kings and queens dinner.

00:01:05.760 Vaughn's going to feed you grapes and fan you with, and Tyler's going to fan you with big leaves.

00:01:11.960 And dude, they're going to rub.

00:01:12.960 This will definitely influence who is chosen.

00:01:14.880 Yes. And that's who they're, what's that mean?

00:01:17.360 Oh, I don't know.

00:01:18.080 You just made it real awkward, dude.

00:01:20.500 I know.

00:01:20.980 I'm just saying.

00:01:21.980 Very awkward.

00:01:22.700 And Vaughn apparently is going to rub oil all over you.

00:01:25.700 So if you're interested in that sort of a trip, go to iTunes, leave us a review, screenshot it,

00:01:32.240 email the screenshot to contact at andyfricella.com with the subject line review contest.

00:01:40.540 All right.

00:01:41.000 So that's that.

00:01:42.140 So what's up, dude?

00:01:42.960 Well, dude, I got a lot of feedback about how much people loved us just sort of talking about movies and stuff.

00:01:50.340 What movies?

00:01:51.180 Do we talk about movies?

00:01:52.340 Carrie.

00:01:52.680 We talked about Carrie and the scary movies and stuff like that.

00:01:56.080 Yeah.

00:01:56.420 And we don't have to get into it right now, but I do think people are interested in knowing,

00:02:00.900 you know, occasionally you talk about favorite movies and stuff like that.

00:02:04.540 Is there a movie that you watch that you want to just run through a brick wall after you watch it?

00:02:10.500 A brick wall?

00:02:10.980 No, I don't know what a brick wall is, so I don't know that I would like to.

00:02:15.580 Excuse me, let me enunciate.

00:02:16.440 Yeah.

00:02:16.700 A brick wall.

00:02:17.880 Tyler, do you know what a brick wall is?

00:02:20.120 I don't know.

00:02:20.820 No, not really.

00:02:22.860 Yeah, dude, there is actually.

00:02:24.200 It's called The Program.

00:02:25.540 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:02:26.420 Do you remember that movie?

00:02:27.240 Yeah.

00:02:27.540 Well, I haven't seen it yet, but you told me about the part where the guy gets.

00:02:29.840 All these young bucks listening have no idea what The Program is.

00:02:33.740 Okay?

00:02:34.180 And that movie came out when I was playing high school football.

00:02:36.960 Is that Place on the Table?

00:02:38.240 Yeah.

00:02:38.640 Okay.

00:02:38.880 Starting Defense.

00:02:39.980 Place on the Table.

00:02:41.180 Okay.

00:02:42.060 What's that dude's name?

00:02:43.460 Latimer.

00:02:44.160 Yeah.

00:02:44.660 So I think that was the first movie to come out that actually showed the behind the scenes

00:02:49.880 of a lot of things that go on.

00:02:51.380 They tried to, yeah.

00:02:52.480 I mean, it was a, you know, it's a.

00:02:54.680 Who's the star of that movie? 1.00

00:02:56.780 Fuck, I don't know that guy's name. 1.00

00:02:59.300 The quarterback guy, though. 1.00

00:03:01.780 Yeah, I have no idea.

00:03:03.020 Yeah.

00:03:03.180 I have to watch it.

00:03:04.080 I really do.

00:03:04.560 I need to watch that in Pacific Rim.

00:03:06.480 You've seen Pacific Rim.

00:03:07.960 No, you've talked about Pacific Rim a lot.

00:03:10.000 You're lying, dude.

00:03:11.180 No, dude.

00:03:11.460 You never saw the original?

00:03:12.640 I never saw the original. 1.00

00:03:13.360 You're full of shit, dude. 1.00

00:03:14.300 I know you're lying. 1.00

00:03:14.960 All I know is.

00:03:15.460 We've been talking about that for three years.

00:03:17.460 I know, but all I know is the Andy Fursella review, which is, it's so bad, it's awesome.

00:03:22.440 You've seen it. 0.98

00:03:23.500 Yo, a hundred fucking times. 0.99

00:03:25.360 Is it not one of those movies that you watch? 0.99

00:03:27.100 It's like Resident Evil.

00:03:28.200 Dude, exactly.

00:03:30.060 I watch those just like that, too. 0.99

00:03:32.120 Dude, it's one of those movies that if it's on, you just fucking turn it on. 0.98

00:03:36.260 Like, you watch it. 0.99

00:03:36.960 Yeah.

00:03:37.200 That's because you can be entertained by not actually even paying attention.

00:03:40.080 Like Rocky IV.

00:03:40.680 No, I don't watch that movie, man.

00:03:42.040 Like, I like certain parts of it, but that's not a movie that I watch when it's on.

00:03:46.300 Like, what, is that one that you watch when they're on?

00:03:48.560 Like, if it's on, you watch it?

00:03:49.460 No, that's my era.

00:03:50.200 So, mine is like Saving Private Ryan.

00:03:51.820 Yeah, okay.

00:03:52.420 If that's on, I'll watch it.

00:03:53.540 Yeah.

00:03:53.840 Okay?

00:03:54.400 If Gladiator.

00:03:55.980 Gladiator's on, I'll watch it.

00:03:56.960 If Braveheart's on, I'll watch it.

00:03:59.320 Glory.

00:03:59.900 Pacific Rim. 0.99

00:04:00.600 Yeah, dude, Glory is one of my favorite fucking movies. 0.99

00:04:03.280 You need to literally tell young people to go watch that movie. 0.99

00:04:06.820 Dude.

00:04:06.940 Because most people don't know about that movie.

00:04:08.480 Glory is one of the best movies ever made.

00:04:10.620 Yeah.

00:04:10.900 Period.

00:04:11.260 If you're not moved and inspired by that movie, something's wrong with you.

00:04:13.360 Dude, it'll probably make you cry, honestly.

00:04:14.820 Yeah, it will. 0.99

00:04:15.800 Give them hell, 54th. 0.98

00:04:16.820 Yeah, dude, that's a. 0.99

00:04:17.760 Yeah, dude. 1.00

00:04:18.580 That's a fucking. 1.00

00:04:19.200 And, like, dude, even thinking about that movie gives me chills. 1.00

00:04:21.820 Yeah.

00:04:22.000 No, it's a great movie.

00:04:23.740 That was young Denzel.

00:04:25.040 Yeah, it was.

00:04:25.920 Young Denzel.

00:04:26.240 I've never seen a movie.

00:04:27.280 I haven't seen all of his movies, but I've never seen a Denzel movie watched.

00:04:30.440 Or Denzel.

00:04:31.120 Boy, I'm really off today.

00:04:32.720 A Denzel Washington movie that I didn't like.

00:04:34.980 Dude, Man on Fire, it's like one of my favorite movies.

00:04:37.220 Oh, dude, that's a movie I'll watch when it's on.

00:04:38.420 Deja Vu.

00:04:39.160 Never seen Man on Fire.

00:04:40.040 Man on Fire's been on a hundred times lately.

00:04:41.800 Never seen Man on Fire, dude.

00:04:42.220 Yeah.

00:04:43.320 Yeah.

00:04:43.740 I like Man on Fire.

00:04:45.200 But Pacific Rim's definitely one of those movies that I will watch.

00:04:47.840 I mean, are you really surprised he hasn't seen it?

00:04:49.360 He just now started following First Form today, ten minutes ago.

00:04:52.540 I thought I followed First Form.

00:04:53.680 Dude, we've been talking about Pacific Rim for three years.

00:04:56.540 Yeah, I know.

00:04:56.860 And you've never watched it.

00:04:57.820 I gotta watch it.

00:04:58.400 And there's even a sequel, isn't there?

00:05:00.540 Yeah, dude.

00:05:01.000 It's pretty good.

00:05:01.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:02.680 It's like so bad, it's good.

00:05:04.040 So you're going to explain to people-

00:05:06.840 Like every rock movie?

00:05:08.020 Huh?

00:05:08.480 Like every rock movie?

00:05:09.640 No, there's certain rock movies I won't watch.

00:05:11.420 Yeah.

00:05:11.620 Dude.

00:05:11.820 Like that, what's that one where he's like-

00:05:13.940 Standing Tall?

00:05:14.680 No, I like that.

00:05:15.560 Standing Tall's good.

00:05:16.180 Yeah.

00:05:16.540 I like the early rock, the rundown, Standing Tall.

00:05:18.880 Like San Andreas is horrible.

00:05:19.460 It's not Standing Tall, it's Walking Tall, by the way.

00:05:21.360 Walking Tall.

00:05:23.080 Dude, but there's some movies he did like in that middle section that are bad.

00:05:27.200 Yeah.

00:05:27.480 Like-

00:05:28.620 San Andreas.

00:05:30.080 No, I thought San Andreas was okay.

00:05:31.320 I thought it was.

00:05:31.500 I'm talking about the middle, when he was trying to be Hollywood, but he-

00:05:34.560 The Pacifier, is that one?

00:05:35.640 Look, dude, no.

00:05:35.920 Yeah.

00:05:36.200 He did go into like the Disney theme for a little.

00:05:38.200 He went like the Ice Cube route.

00:05:39.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:05:39.880 Where like, he did all these family movies and shit for a while. 0.58

00:05:43.300 And like, see dude, I know what he did. 0.90

00:05:45.280 Like he was like, oh, okay, I got a couple movies.

00:05:48.320 I'm going to try to be Mr. Hollywood.

00:05:50.460 Actually, this is a great- 0.99

00:05:51.660 This is a great fucking lesson in this. 0.99

00:05:54.540 He's like, all right, I'm going to- 0.99

00:05:55.680 And he went from like 260 down to 220.

00:05:58.820 He got real skinny.

00:06:00.940 And dude, he tried to be like a Hollywood actor, and it didn't work.

00:06:05.440 He got cast in all these weird movies, like those family movies.

00:06:10.620 He said it, the Pacifier.

00:06:11.640 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:11.680 The fucking weirdo ones. 1.00

00:06:12.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:13.140 Then dude, he went, he's like, fuck it, I'm going to be The Rock. 0.98

00:06:16.520 And he went back, and he made that movie with Mark Wahlberg. 0.99

00:06:22.140 Pain and Gain.

00:06:22.700 Pain and Gain. 1.00

00:06:23.500 And he came back fucking jacked and huge. 1.00

00:06:26.240 And like, with the attitude, and dude, that's when his shit came back. 1.00

00:06:29.900 Then he did like, you know, the Fast Five and all that shit. 0.99

00:06:33.060 And he did all the Fast and Furiouses. 0.99

00:06:35.320 And dude, that's whenever he became the fucking Hollywood stud. 0.99

00:06:37.980 Yeah. 0.99

00:06:38.340 No, you're right. 0.97

00:06:38.480 But dude, the lesson there is, dude, being yourself is the best fucking way to go. 0.95

00:06:42.620 You know what I mean? 0.92

00:06:43.840 That's why it's so authentic.

00:06:44.980 That's why he's such a likable guy.

00:06:46.900 Like, everybody likes The Rock.

00:06:48.160 Oh, yeah.

00:06:48.920 He's pretty impressive.

00:06:50.240 Yeah, there's definitely movies in the middle that are, that are pretty, pretty hard to

00:06:53.700 watch.

00:06:54.240 Yeah.

00:06:54.620 Just being real.

00:06:55.640 So, it might provide a good segue into our topic today.

00:06:58.280 But, you know, you and I were talking about how we were so excited about last night, like,

00:07:03.320 what happened, that we couldn't sleep.

00:07:05.020 Yeah.

00:07:06.660 You want to give people like a, like, like a small little preview of-

00:07:09.640 No, you can.

00:07:10.440 Okay.

00:07:10.700 Well, guys, you guys know we have the Arte Syndicate going on, and yesterday Andy and

00:07:15.720 Ed gave just an unbelievable conference call, and it just got all of us so excited about

00:07:22.580 it, and it's a movement, like, that's literally going to change the world.

00:07:26.760 Yeah, there's no question.

00:07:27.800 Especially after what happened last night.

00:07:31.800 Yeah.

00:07:32.100 Yeah.

00:07:32.580 Yeah.

00:07:32.880 But there was a question that was presented to Andy, and then as he was talking about it,

00:07:39.600 he was thinking, yeah, we should talk about that a little bit more in length in the Sunday

00:07:43.300 sermon.

00:07:43.760 Yeah.

00:07:43.960 I thought it was a great, a great way to, to really bring up a topic that I think a lot

00:07:49.840 of people struggle with.

00:07:51.040 And these guys, by the way, that we talked to, they're very successful.

00:07:54.480 These are, these are people who are earning, you know, seven figures a year, a high six figures,

00:08:00.020 seven figures a year.

00:08:01.480 They're successful financially people.

00:08:03.420 And, um, this question that we got was, um, a guy who, who was obviously he's successful.

00:08:12.900 He wouldn't be in the group because we, we filter everybody out.

00:08:15.920 Um, and he said, he's like, look, man, I'm struggling.

00:08:20.160 I'm 42 years old.

00:08:21.140 I'm struggling.

00:08:21.720 I'm having a really hard time. 0.98

00:08:23.340 Um, figuring out what my purpose is other than, you know, selling shit and taking care 0.99

00:08:30.880 of my family. 0.95

00:08:31.480 And I feel empty inside and I'm not happy with what, what I have going on.

00:08:36.040 And I want more restlessness, a lot of rest.

00:08:39.360 Yes, for sure.

00:08:40.400 For sure.

00:08:41.480 And I think, um, you know, that is a common issue with people, right?

00:08:47.380 They always feel empty no matter how much they succeed. 0.99

00:08:50.480 And this is why you have people who make millions and millions of dollars and then fucking kill 1.00

00:08:55.240 themselves. 0.99

00:08:55.720 And people are like, ah, how come, how come he killed himself because he's rich?

00:08:59.660 He had it all.

00:09:00.440 No, that has nothing to do with it.

00:09:03.200 You're going to feel empty if your only goal in life is money.

00:09:08.860 And we talk about this all the time.

00:09:10.900 And, and, um, one of the things that, that I think people have to understand is that, you

00:09:18.240 know, if you're not contributing to something good, if you're not feeling good about what

00:09:22.800 it is that you're doing, if you don't see, uh, if you're not able to help other people

00:09:27.940 or pick other people up or do service to other people, you're going to feel empty service to

00:09:34.360 other people is the ultimate fulfillment.

00:09:36.400 All right.

00:09:36.980 And I don't mean like going down to the, uh, you know, I don't just mean going down to

00:09:42.040 the, you know, the food pantry on Christmas and serving meals.

00:09:45.500 Like a lot of people think that's service and it is service, but once a year really 0.97

00:09:49.860 isn't that fucking great. 0.89

00:09:51.140 It's not something you should be bragging about. 0.98

00:09:52.780 You know what I mean?

00:09:53.360 Right.

00:09:53.660 We're talking about consistently building your life around contributing to other people.

00:09:59.660 And, um, one of the things that you need to be aware of when we talk about, you know,

00:10:05.840 cause we just talked about fulfilling purpose a couple of podcasts ago.

00:10:09.380 Um, and a lot of people have issues with figuring out what their purpose is, obviously.

00:10:14.140 And that's what that podcast is about.

00:10:15.600 But this podcast is more so, I want it to like hit on a different note where it's for

00:10:21.100 the people who may have think that they have, they've had their purpose for the last 20 years,

00:10:26.880 but they feel empty.

00:10:27.720 You know what I mean?

00:10:29.780 And one of the things I want you guys to be aware of is that struggling with your purpose.

00:10:38.180 A lot of times it can feel like, I don't know what my purpose is.

00:10:43.000 Like, what is it you're doing?

00:10:45.100 Okay.

00:10:45.660 You're doing something that you like doing.

00:10:47.680 You're doing something that you're good at.

00:10:49.280 You're solving problems that frustrate you, which are all things we talked about on the

00:10:52.740 last podcast, but you feel like it's not your purpose.

00:10:56.140 Well, clearly you were gifted with certain skills that allow you to be good at what it is you're

00:11:02.440 succeeding at right now.

00:11:03.720 So if you feel empty, if that's you and you feel empty right now, I want you to understand

00:11:09.780 that the reason that you could feel empty and unfulfilled has not, it could have nothing

00:11:14.840 to do with what it is your purpose.

00:11:17.920 Okay.

00:11:18.440 It could have everything to do with how you feel about yourself.

00:11:21.720 All right.

00:11:22.340 A lot of people mistake being off track or not fulfilling their reason for being here and

00:11:28.940 not pursuing their purpose as the problem when, and actually the problem is, and in reality, 0.99

00:11:35.200 what the problem is, is that they don't feel good about who the fuck they are as a person. 0.99

00:11:40.620 Okay. 0.98

00:11:41.060 And that's something that a lot of people struggle with.

00:11:44.460 You know, like they built a good business.

00:11:46.840 They've been in business, like, like, you know, they've been in business for 20 years.

00:11:50.360 They're making good income.

00:11:51.340 They're taking care of their family.

00:11:52.740 They're doing all the things they're supposed to do, but they still feel empty.

00:11:56.720 Well, let me tell you something.

00:11:58.280 The reason you could still feel empty might be because you're doing things that are out

00:12:04.100 of alignment with what you know to be right in your heart as a person.

00:12:09.280 Okay.

00:12:09.920 And that's, that's a big problem.

00:12:11.960 Now, are there people absolutely that are, have gone 20 years not fulfilling their purpose?

00:12:17.840 Yes. 1.00

00:12:18.560 And the way to know that is you probably hate your fucking job. 1.00

00:12:22.300 You probably hate your fucking career. 1.00

00:12:24.080 And I'm not talking about having a bad day. 1.00

00:12:26.660 Okay. 0.94

00:12:27.160 Even I have, dude, three out of the fucking five days that I'm here in the office during 0.91

00:12:32.720 the week are fucking stressful and frustrating and this, but the overall of what I do, I 0.94

00:12:38.500 love. 0.95

00:12:39.180 Okay.

00:12:39.680 That's because you take pride in it.

00:12:41.000 And I think that's where a lot of people get off because they don't, they don't internally

00:12:44.560 take pride in what they do. 0.99

00:12:46.180 I fucking live for it. 0.99

00:12:47.160 Dude. 0.99

00:12:47.460 Yeah, exactly.

00:12:47.920 But dude, but like, dude, I live like people don't believe it when I say this, like I live 0.99

00:12:53.540 to come in here and give motherfuckers raises for real. 1.00

00:12:57.800 I think about all the time, like in the shower every morning, I'm like, man, what about this 0.99

00:13:03.080 guy?

00:13:03.380 And what about that guy?

00:13:04.280 And what about this guy?

00:13:05.160 And I'm constantly thinking about who I can bring up and who deserves and has put in the

00:13:10.600 work to move forward.

00:13:11.960 But that's also a measuring stick for, you know, the job that you're doing as well too.

00:13:16.340 Is it not?

00:13:16.760 What do you mean?

00:13:17.880 If you're willing to give somebody a raise, that means you've done your job as a leader

00:13:21.860 to create other leaders.

00:13:22.880 Yeah, that's my point.

00:13:23.320 Exactly. 1.00

00:13:23.460 I want to develop these motherfuckers so that they can go out and conquer the earth. 1.00

00:13:26.740 Right. 1.00

00:13:27.000 That's my goal.

00:13:28.140 You know what I mean?

00:13:28.760 I know not everybody's going to leave or not everybody's going to stay here and some people

00:13:33.180 are going to leave. 0.91

00:13:33.800 But my goal is to make sure that they're equipped to fucking succeed. 0.88

00:13:36.900 And nothing is more rewarding than to see someone succeed in a model that you've designed. 0.97

00:13:41.760 That's fucking cool. 0.96

00:13:43.020 Okay. 0.98

00:13:43.300 And a lot of, you know, people who are in business just don't think that way.

00:13:48.260 They don't look at like service.

00:13:50.940 They think of service as what I talked about, going to the food shelter or the homeless shelter

00:13:56.260 and serving meals on Christmas.

00:13:57.440 Instead of like being in service to your employees every single day, meaning I'm contributing

00:14:03.360 to their growth.

00:14:04.280 I'm teaching them things.

00:14:05.660 I'm helping them improve.

00:14:07.080 I'm helping them grow.

00:14:08.400 I'm helping them get to a position where they can provide for their families in a better

00:14:13.440 way or they can fulfill their dreams in a better way. 0.99

00:14:16.280 Like that's fucking service too. 1.00

00:14:18.780 But the problem is, is a lot of fucking people who own business look at their fucking employees 1.00

00:14:23.140 as fucking cogs in the machine that are easily replaced and they don't care about them. 1.00

00:14:28.100 They don't care about developing them. 0.99

00:14:29.540 They don't want to pay them more. 0.67

00:14:30.940 They don't want them to progress because it costs them money, which that's not even true

00:14:35.500 because if your employees progress, you're going to make more money. 0.96

00:14:38.040 But the truth of it is, they just don't fucking care about people. 0.99

00:14:41.420 And dude, I know a lot of successful motherfuckers that make a lot of money, but they don't give 1.00

00:14:46.500 a shit about their employees. 1.00

00:14:47.820 And in turn, they feel like shit because they know it's fucking wrong. 1.00

00:14:51.720 So I think the specific words that you use when you answer that guy's question was that, 0.99

00:14:56.640 dude, you're thinking that your dissatisfaction is coming from what you do instead of who

00:15:02.520 you are.

00:15:03.360 And so I guess my question is like...

00:15:05.480 Dude, I think that's a huge fallacy, bro.

00:15:07.680 Yeah. 0.88

00:15:07.920 I think people are ignorant to it, though. 0.67

00:15:09.700 People are. 0.68

00:15:10.800 They misunderstand it.

00:15:12.240 You know what I'm saying?

00:15:13.140 Yeah.

00:15:13.600 Yeah, yeah.

00:15:14.940 Go ahead with your question.

00:15:15.900 No, I was just...

00:15:16.720 So the point I was going to make is that you're talking about serving people.

00:15:20.240 You're talking about like completely overhaul how you do things as a person or who you

00:15:24.560 are as a person.

00:15:25.360 But what would you say are some practical steps to begin to...

00:15:29.420 Well, let me back up just for a second.

00:15:30.960 So I feel like the whole space that we're in, you know, where it's called self-development,

00:15:36.460 I feel like to some extent that that's a really bad way of describing it because I think that

00:15:41.080 the kind of thing that you're talking about isn't just like, oh, I'm going to improve myself.

00:15:45.420 I'm going to become a little bit more honest and a little bit more...

00:15:48.360 No.

00:15:48.560 Like when I think about what happened to you when you were stabbed and the changes that

00:15:54.480 happened there, that wasn't you becoming self-improved.

00:15:59.380 That was a massive transformation in your life.

00:16:02.580 So when you talk about people changing who they are, we're not just talking about, oh,

00:16:08.300 I want to like become a little bit better person and do some good needs.

00:16:11.580 We're talking about massive transformation so that you just become the kind of person that's

00:16:15.740 more satisfied with who you are.

00:16:17.040 So in practical terms, how do you think people go about doing that? 0.99

00:16:20.400 You fucking do what you know is right. 0.99

00:16:22.260 Okay. 1.00

00:16:22.600 Okay.

00:16:23.220 It's uncomfortable to do what you know is right all the time.

00:16:27.300 It's easy to go with the flow, but you know in your heart what is right and what is wrong.

00:16:33.300 You know what you should be doing and what you shouldn't. 0.78

00:16:35.920 You know when you're fucking cutting a corner on being, on doing the right thing, like where 0.90

00:16:41.460 you're like, oh, I'm doing 70% of the right thing. 0.96

00:16:43.880 So that's good enough.

00:16:45.320 Right? 0.99

00:16:45.540 No, it needs to be 100% drawn in the fucking stone, the right thing all the time. 0.98

00:16:52.140 You know one simple question I started to ask myself like a year ago? 0.99

00:16:55.380 Would a CEO do this or that?

00:16:57.300 That's a great way to look at it. 1.00

00:16:58.720 It pops in my head every fucking time. 0.98

00:17:00.740 But your perception of a CEO is probably a lot different than what most people's perception 0.99

00:17:06.320 is of a CEO.

00:17:07.200 Probably.

00:17:07.880 Yeah.

00:17:08.560 Right.

00:17:08.800 So basically, whatever you know is the right thing to do.

00:17:11.880 But you would look at it like, who would you admire?

00:17:14.440 Yeah.

00:17:14.680 Like, you know, I look at you. 1.00

00:17:16.060 I look at Chris Cavallini, people who have like great discipline and it's like, fuck. 0.99

00:17:20.600 You know, when you talk about picking up a piece of paper, you know, like it'll trigger 0.99

00:17:24.340 my head when I'm doing my laundry. 0.78

00:17:25.860 It's like, do I want to wait till tomorrow to fucking do this or should I just get it out 0.98

00:17:28.940 of the way now? 0.98

00:17:29.620 Right. 0.99

00:17:29.780 Because otherwise that shit's going to start building up and building up, not just the 0.99

00:17:33.380 laundry, but the whole list of shit that I got to get done throughout the day. 0.99

00:17:37.000 Dude, that's, people don't realize how insignificant or how significant little things like doing 0.98

00:17:43.580 the laundry when you're supposed to do it are.

00:17:46.040 Right.

00:17:46.440 You know?

00:17:46.820 So what I'm hearing you say is don't worry about focusing on becoming Mother Teresa or Martin

00:17:51.380 Luther King overnight.

00:17:52.420 Whatever you know you need to do that's right, do that.

00:17:55.440 Yes.

00:17:55.640 Start with that.

00:17:56.240 Yes.

00:17:56.460 And that'll build.

00:17:57.360 Yes.

00:17:57.960 That'll...

00:17:58.320 It's just like anything.

00:17:58.880 When we talk about, like we've talked about before, dude, when you practice guitar, guess

00:18:03.440 what happens?

00:18:04.380 You get better at guitar.

00:18:05.740 When you practice hockey, guess what happens?

00:18:08.600 You're going to improve at hockey.

00:18:10.160 When you practice doing the right thing, guess what also happens?

00:18:13.900 You get better at doing the right thing.

00:18:15.740 Right.

00:18:15.820 Okay.

00:18:16.000 And this goes for all characters.

00:18:17.020 It becomes a habit.

00:18:17.760 Yes, exactly.

00:18:18.620 And that's why what he said a minute ago is so important where he talks about doing the

00:18:22.360 laundry. 1.00

00:18:23.300 Well, yeah, it would be easy to know that you need to do laundry and say, fuck it. 1.00

00:18:27.500 It doesn't mean anything and throw the shit off till tomorrow. 1.00

00:18:29.640 But the truth is, you're eroding the habit of discipline instead of adding to it. 0.98

00:18:34.420 See, every action that you take is going to add to one of your habits or take away from

00:18:40.040 one of your habits.

00:18:41.220 And when you aren't conscious of that, it's really easy to erode good habits that you've

00:18:47.480 built over time.

00:18:49.320 And it goes from, you know, I was once, dude, look, I'm a perfect example of that. 0.93

00:18:54.780 I'm a guy who for most of his life was in pretty fucking good shape. 0.98

00:18:58.860 I was in, I was in good enough shape to where most people would say, damn, dude, I wish 0.99

00:19:03.020 I was in that good of shape.

00:19:04.300 And what happened? 0.99

00:19:05.340 I went home because I was stressed and I ate a fucking pizza one night. 0.99

00:19:09.800 Okay. 0.99

00:19:10.280 Then the next night, what'd I do?

00:19:12.260 Another one. 0.99

00:19:12.780 You're stressed about the pizzas and you ate a fucking other one? 1.00

00:19:14.800 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:15.240 I'm like, fuck it. 1.00

00:19:16.080 You know what? 1.00

00:19:16.740 I'm in pretty good shape.

00:19:18.380 I'm going to eat another pizza.

00:19:19.500 It ain't going to hurt me.

00:19:20.540 Right.

00:19:20.820 Then the next night it was Chinese. 0.99

00:19:23.280 Okay.

00:19:23.760 And that's how it starts. 0.99

00:19:24.900 And then fucking a year later, I'm a hundred pounds overweight. 0.99

00:19:28.100 That's how it starts. 0.99

00:19:29.480 Dude.

00:19:29.860 One thing that a lot of people do not understand is that everybody's heard the saying, fake

00:19:35.140 it till you make it, but they don't actually.

00:19:36.580 So the, the reference to the laundry, like that's me faking being a CEO and having that mindset

00:19:42.500 until I am actually.

00:19:44.260 Hey man.

00:19:44.800 You know what?

00:19:45.600 Sometimes you got to fake.

00:19:47.300 It's not even fake.

00:19:48.600 It's, it's what it is.

00:19:50.140 It is like, Oh, I'm wearing a suit.

00:19:51.460 Dude.

00:19:51.740 Like a lot of people, like they feel guilty when they start to try to do, do something

00:19:57.480 significant because they feel like they're faking it. 0.91

00:19:59.520 But if you're ever going to fucking do it, you're going to have to go through that phase 0.82

00:20:03.440 of where you're the only one that believes in the actions you're taking. 0.97

00:20:08.060 Right.

00:20:08.740 And everybody else thinks you're fake and you're going to have to roll through that.

00:20:12.200 I love that you use the example of, of, of the way you ate, because it's funny, you have

00:20:17.340 so many people that say, Oh, I don't like a certain kinds of food, but there's all sorts

00:20:21.160 of studies that say that you can actually retrain your taste buds to like certain kinds

00:20:25.640 of food.

00:20:26.000 If you, if you kind of go incrementally over time.

00:20:28.760 And I think there are a lot of people that it's so foreign to them to do the right thing

00:20:33.860 that it doesn't feel good.

00:20:34.960 It doesn't taste good.

00:20:36.060 But if they do a little bit at a time over time, you start to get a taste for it.

00:20:40.360 And you're like, man, this feels good to do the right thing.

00:20:42.500 And then you get more of an appetite for it.

00:20:44.460 I think, Vaughn, a big, big, uh, a big reason people start to feel good about it is they're

00:20:49.840 aware of it.

00:20:50.640 So for example, like you've been working out for a while now and it's showing by the

00:20:54.080 way.

00:20:54.340 Thanks man.

00:20:54.760 I appreciate it. 0.91

00:20:56.360 But, and which is fucking awesome, dude.

00:20:58.360 I mean, dude, even the other guys have said something to me about it. 0.78

00:21:00.780 Like said that they could tell you've been getting, getting in.

00:21:03.120 Well, it feels good to be consistent.

00:21:04.280 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:04.580 But, but most people, when they go to the gym, they're like, fuck, that sucked. 0.99

00:21:08.500 Like when they're just starting out. 0.99

00:21:09.780 Right.

00:21:10.440 But like, they're not aware of the implications of their actions and what it's going to create.

00:21:17.380 So they miss out on the feeling of like, cause they never had it.

00:21:21.220 It's so foreign. 1.00

00:21:22.200 Yeah.

00:21:22.500 Like, dude, you know, if you take someone who's never been in a gym, they've never worked out,

00:21:27.280 they've never, they've never experienced what it can do or never been immersed in the,

00:21:32.460 like you have where you're here every day around people who are all into that stuff.

00:21:35.980 Right.

00:21:36.460 They've never been immersed in how it can change you and what the effects happen and like

00:21:40.300 how you feel and how you act and how you look.

00:21:42.340 Like they don't even, it's so foreign to them that they go to the gym and they're like, 0.99

00:21:46.680 dude, why the fuck do people do this? 0.99

00:21:49.440 Like, this is horrible. 0.99

00:21:50.760 Right.

00:21:51.100 You know, like, and, and, uh, and the thing is, is like, it's hard to get, it's really,

00:21:57.160 really hard to get those people to follow through on things because they have no experience.

00:22:01.480 And that could apply, dude, that could apply to people right now who are listening, who,

00:22:05.780 who don't have a lot of money and they don't know any wealthy people.

00:22:09.140 And they've never been around someone who's created a successful business and they've

00:22:12.860 never seen it.

00:22:14.060 You know, the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life was that my dad was a business

00:22:18.580 owner and I was able to meet other business owners. 0.99

00:22:21.560 And all I fucking saw was motherfuckers out there building businesses and, and succeeding. 1.00

00:22:27.000 So how would I ever have any doubts of that? 1.00

00:22:30.780 Yeah.

00:22:31.060 Like, I don't doubt it.

00:22:32.000 Like when people, like, like when I say, and you know, this, when I say I'm going to do 0.97

00:22:37.040 something in business, it fucking gets done. 0.98

00:22:38.900 Absolutely. 0.97

00:22:39.380 Like if I say, dude, we're going to be a billion dollar company, we're going to be a 0.99

00:22:41.880 fucking $10 billion company. 0.99

00:22:43.300 Yeah. 0.99

00:22:43.480 I'm just saying billion cause I don't want to freak everybody out with my goals.

00:22:46.180 You know what I mean?

00:22:47.020 Right.

00:22:47.380 My real goal that I don't tell anybody is like 10 billion.

00:22:50.320 But the point is, is the point I'm saying is, is that I was immersed in that experience.

00:22:55.320 So I understand what's possible.

00:22:56.960 And so, um, when you're, when you're not around that, you've never seen it.

00:23:04.940 It's just like taking someone to the gym that has never been. 0.99

00:23:08.740 And they're like, fuck dude, this is impossible. 1.00

00:23:11.360 Right. 1.00

00:23:11.820 You know what I mean?

00:23:12.380 And you're, you're, what you're describing is the benefits of something else you've

00:23:15.260 talked about a lot in the podcast, although not for a while.

00:23:18.020 It's the benefits of momentum.

00:23:19.820 So I'm not, I'm not where I'm not at this place yet, but I'm pretty close to getting to

00:23:25.000 the place where, where a lot of all of you guys are, where you've worked out so much

00:23:30.060 that you're almost like addicted to it.

00:23:31.840 Like you love it.

00:23:32.500 Like you want, you want to do it.

00:23:34.360 I can speak for both of us.

00:23:35.560 Yeah.

00:23:35.960 Like how bad do you feel when you miss a day working out? 1.00

00:23:40.020 Mentally, I, I feel like an asshole. 0.99

00:23:41.960 Yeah, I do too. 0.99

00:23:42.500 You know, like I feel super guilty.

00:23:43.940 Well, especially because we represent, you become almost, sorry, Tyler, go ahead.

00:23:48.480 No, I was just going to say, especially because from, you know, what we do for a living,

00:23:52.120 we were, we represent a company that stands for these types of things.

00:23:56.120 So when you miss a day, you feel like you're cheating your customers as well.

00:23:59.160 By the way, just so you know, if you're not familiar with first forms culture, we don't 0.99

00:24:03.020 stand for perfect chiseled fucking bodies. 1.00

00:24:05.520 We, we stand for having the courage to get up and do the fucking work no matter what you 1.00

00:24:10.240 look like. 0.99

00:24:10.740 Absolutely.

00:24:11.140 We stand for working your ass off to earn that beer.

00:24:14.620 Yeah, exactly.

00:24:15.860 Right.

00:24:16.220 So yeah, no, but I mean, it's just, it's, it's a great experience and it's a great to, to

00:24:20.780 build that momentum and get to the point where you almost, you're not worried about

00:24:25.260 like peer pressure from outside.

00:24:27.660 You're actually worried about your own internal peer pressure and you're, you letting down

00:24:31.800 yourself and going, no, don't do this.

00:24:33.560 Don't do this.

00:24:34.120 But it's a really positive thing.

00:24:35.500 It's just hard to explain.

00:24:36.520 I'm definitely not at that point yet, but I'm getting there because of, because of the

00:24:39.700 quick, well, I appreciate that.

00:24:41.040 But because of the consistency and it's like you say, the little by little, just doing it

00:24:45.560 every day and how you can completely transform.

00:24:47.600 It's what we talk about, like the work comes before the belief you're, you're going through

00:24:51.600 that right now.

00:24:52.120 Yeah.

00:24:52.560 So like, well, people don't know what that means.

00:24:54.980 Like they think that, and if you listen to all the people on the internet and all the, 0.83

00:24:59.180 you know, the do-gooder fucking woo-woo people, they're going to tell you, they're going to 0.85

00:25:03.140 tell you, you got to believe in yourself. 0.98

00:25:05.860 You could do it.

00:25:06.620 This, that, the other.

00:25:07.400 Well, the problem with that is, is that you've never experienced any results in that area of

00:25:11.080 your life that are significant. 0.99

00:25:12.800 So you're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:25:14.180 So like, of course you're not going to believe it. 0.99

00:25:15.860 But the point is, is you have to, and we're going to talk about faith, which is a huge

00:25:20.080 part of something else that we talk about, but you have to have faith, not in the sense

00:25:24.880 of spirituality, but in the sense of the work.

00:25:27.540 You've got to know that and believe upfront before you, you go out and do it, that if

00:25:35.080 you do the work, the result will be there.

00:25:37.760 Okay.

00:25:38.680 And, and do, we have so many things in society that convince people otherwise, because everybody

00:25:44.920 tries to capitalize on people's misunderstanding of the process.

00:25:49.980 They try to sell them a program.

00:25:51.640 They try to sell them, you know, a system, this, that, the other, that all promise they

00:25:56.020 haven't figured out. 0.99

00:25:56.940 Well, the fucking figuring it out is right in front of your face. 1.00

00:25:59.880 You're just not willing to accept it. 1.00

00:26:01.780 Right.

00:26:02.340 You have to do the work. 1.00

00:26:04.100 Name me one thing in life where if you go do this shit, it's as simple as digging a hole. 1.00

00:26:09.960 If you stick the fucking shovel in the hole and you pull some dirt out and you throw the 1.00

00:26:14.640 dirt over there, what do you got? 1.00

00:26:16.500 Deeper hole. 1.00

00:26:17.060 You've got a fucking hole. 1.00

00:26:18.300 You want to dig a bigger hole? 1.00

00:26:19.840 You stick the shovel again and you throw it out.

00:26:22.520 Success is that simple. 0.99

00:26:24.240 It is that fucking simple. 0.93

00:26:26.020 It's just that nobody wants to believe it because they got to do the work. 0.98

00:26:29.880 Dude, it's like that movie.

00:26:31.000 Speaking of movies, I don't know if you've ever seen the Shawshank Redemption.

00:26:33.840 I love that movie.

00:26:34.540 It's like Andy using the rock hammer and over time digging that entire tunnel out of the

00:26:40.940 penitentiary.

00:26:41.060 And if you would have said, if he would have told someone, hey, I'm going to dig this giant 0.98

00:26:45.840 tunnel with this rock hammer, they would have been like, dude, that's fucking impossible. 0.97

00:26:49.300 Yeah. 0.97

00:26:49.860 You know what I mean?

00:26:50.520 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:50.700 And guys, if you have not seen that movie, you are insane.

00:26:53.320 That's another movie that fits into that character.

00:26:56.040 I'd watch that when it's on, too.

00:26:57.220 Not only because of the analogy of the rock hammer, but the fact that he crawls through

00:27:02.020 all of that. 1.00

00:27:03.060 Shit. 1.00

00:27:03.440 Yeah, basically all of it. 1.00

00:27:04.100 It's a perfect metaphor for entrepreneurship.

00:27:05.620 And then you come out, it's absolutely beautiful.

00:27:07.320 Dude, the Count of Monte Cristo, too.

00:27:09.500 Yeah, good call.

00:27:10.420 I've never seen that.

00:27:11.540 That's a classic.

00:27:12.340 It's good. 0.99

00:27:12.820 That one scene is the fucking metaphor for entrepreneurship. 0.99

00:27:15.840 Yeah. 0.99

00:27:16.200 All right?

00:27:16.540 You got this little bitty rock. 0.99

00:27:18.480 You got to dig a fucking mile-long tunnel over the course of years. 1.00

00:27:22.120 Then you got to crawl through a whole bunch of shit. 1.00

00:27:25.340 And then when you come out of the shit- 1.00

00:27:27.780 Freedom. 0.99

00:27:28.160 It's raining on you. 1.00

00:27:29.880 It washes all the shit off, and you're fucking free. 1.00

00:27:32.060 Right. 1.00

00:27:32.280 That is entrepreneurship, dude.

00:27:33.860 Yeah.

00:27:34.160 That is building a business.

00:27:35.780 Yeah.

00:27:36.040 1,000%.

00:27:36.900 It is going to take you a long time of working with little result. 0.99

00:27:40.940 You're going to have to go through a ton of shit, and you're going to come out, and 0.99

00:27:44.260 you're going to be like, holy fuck, this is the best thing I ever did. 1.00

00:27:46.420 Right. 0.99

00:27:46.660 So, we're talking about restlessness.

00:27:49.260 We're talking about people struggling. 1.00

00:27:50.900 We're talking about all kinds of shit. 0.99

00:27:51.980 We are, but we're, you know, we opened with this emphasis on- 0.99

00:27:56.320 Hold up, Vaughn.

00:27:56.820 One thing I want to commend you on is actually getting a trainer, because a lot of people

00:28:00.200 need that person to be accountable when they first start off on something.

00:28:03.300 Like, dude, it translates to having a business partner, too.

00:28:06.160 Like, how many times, even though you didn't need to be dragged through the process-

00:28:09.880 Dude, Tyler, I'm going to tell you, people don't know this, and the first four or five 0.99

00:28:14.480 years we were in business, Chris did all the work, and I was lazy as fuck. 0.99

00:28:18.480 I didn't do shit. 1.00

00:28:19.720 I laid on the couch in the back of the store, and I'm like, fuck this. 0.99

00:28:23.000 Like, dude, there was a point in time where I didn't do anything. 0.99

00:28:28.380 He did everything.

00:28:29.360 You get what I'm saying?

00:28:30.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:28:30.900 But thank you for that, but for me, it was zero options mentality.

00:28:34.460 Like, in my opinion, I came to the realization that I'm not going to do this by myself.

00:28:39.000 I don't have the strength.

00:28:40.060 I don't have the willpower.

00:28:41.200 I don't have the ability.

00:28:42.100 You were struggling with it mentally.

00:28:44.640 Yeah, I think so, too.

00:28:45.680 But I also had to be- I had to be in a place where I just trusted somebody to tell me what

00:28:50.160 to do, and I was going to do it.

00:28:51.280 Well, bro, it's intimidating to do anything new, right?

00:28:53.680 It is. 0.99

00:28:53.820 Like, it's intimidating to go to a fucking gym. 0.99

00:28:56.240 It's intimidating to say, to tell all your friends and family, guess what? 1.00

00:29:00.740 I'm starting my fucking business. 0.99

00:29:02.380 Because you know what they're going to say. 1.00

00:29:04.160 They're going to say, dude, you're an idiot. 1.00

00:29:05.760 You should just fucking get a real job. 1.00

00:29:08.040 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:08.360 You know, because that's what they did.

00:29:10.640 No, I'm super- so, yeah, so Stu Beeth at Output Performing.

00:29:12.800 You get some guns on you, dude.

00:29:14.020 Oh, thanks, man.

00:29:14.780 Yeah.

00:29:15.180 What are you going to do with those things?

00:29:18.220 One day you'll learn how to flex. 0.99

00:29:20.540 What the fuck was this? 0.98

00:29:22.240 Well, I wasn't really flexing. 0.99

00:29:23.880 I was just kind of stretching.

00:29:25.880 I can see him walking through the house.

00:29:27.340 I'll do the Cobra.

00:29:28.500 Yeah, he's walking through the house.

00:29:30.460 I got to practice the Cobra.

00:29:32.420 The beach is this way.

00:29:33.380 You've already bought more mirrors for the house, haven't you?

00:29:35.480 What's that?

00:29:35.960 I said, you've already bought more mirrors.

00:29:37.380 I have not, no.

00:29:37.680 Every reflective service you watch by.

00:29:39.000 But I do have to give a shout-out to my trainer, Stu, at Output Performance.

00:29:43.100 He's a good guy, and it's just been really helpful.

00:29:46.160 Dude, I've heard really good things about Output.

00:29:47.800 Yeah, it is really good.

00:29:49.640 So what would I say?

00:29:52.640 Oh, no.

00:29:53.020 So we were talking about dealing with that restlessness and that sense of dissatisfaction by focusing on maybe it's not what you're doing and maybe it's who you are.

00:30:01.640 But I want to add another layer to the conversation, and that is that sometimes people are really restless.

00:30:07.520 Sometimes they're dissatisfied, but that's a good thing, you know?

00:30:11.900 Yeah, dude. 0.99

00:30:12.280 It means you have fucking standards. 1.00

00:30:13.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:13.980 So talk about that, man.

00:30:15.240 Well, dude, I just think that's something that it goes along with being a high-achiever mentality or what Tim Grover would call a cleaner.

00:30:23.880 Like, you can have everything going for you the right way in the world, and if you're still restless, guess what?

00:30:27.920 You're a cleaner.

00:30:29.000 Right. 0.99

00:30:29.120 Because, dude, you're the kind of person who has to just – you're just addicted to accomplishing shit, and there's nothing wrong with that. 1.00

00:30:34.580 It makes you feel crazy. 0.99

00:30:35.900 Right.

00:30:36.160 You feel crazy. 0.97

00:30:37.320 Like, I have to text him once probably every six months and be like, dude, am I fucking crazy? 0.99

00:30:41.180 And he'll always be like, no, dude, they're crazy. 0.99

00:30:43.860 Yeah, right.

00:30:45.000 But, like, you know, I think it just says, you know, like, dude, I want more.

00:30:50.420 I want to create more.

00:30:51.220 I want to contribute more.

00:30:52.680 I want to do more.

00:30:53.780 And I think that's a good thing.

00:30:55.260 Yeah.

00:30:55.500 I don't think that's a bad thing.

00:30:56.860 Well, here's the thought.

00:30:57.580 Dude, I think the worst thing that you could be is content.

00:31:01.300 Right.

00:31:01.640 The worst thing you could be in life is to look around and say, man, I've done it.

00:31:06.520 Yeah.

00:31:06.860 Because you know what?

00:31:07.840 That's the pinnacle of your life at that point.

00:31:10.040 That's the end of you experiencing greater things, which is sad.

00:31:15.580 Yeah.

00:31:15.760 That's a bad place to be.

00:31:17.820 Yeah.

00:31:18.140 You were just mentioning Tim Grover, and you said, am I crazy? 0.90

00:31:21.080 No, they're crazy.

00:31:21.680 You know, here's a radical thought. 0.75

00:31:23.260 What if, in fact, what if the people like you, the people who are obsessive about, you

00:31:30.400 know, personal potential and success, what if that is what human beings were meant to

00:31:37.400 be like, and everybody else is the insane person?

00:31:41.020 Like, maybe you're sane, and everybody else is insane. 0.89

00:31:43.640 You know what I'm saying?

00:31:45.120 I'm not saying everybody has to be a type A personality.

00:31:47.440 I'm not saying that at all.

00:31:48.880 I personally believe that all people are born that way.

00:31:58.340 I think all people are born the way that we're talking about now.

00:32:02.280 Yeah.

00:32:02.840 They're achievers.

00:32:05.180 Something happens to them along the way.

00:32:06.780 They get a teacher, they get a coach, they get a parent, they get an uncle, they get

00:32:10.720 an aunt, who sells them on the idea that they're not supposed to do that. 0.99

00:32:15.300 Or they get an experience, they get fucking, you know, something bad happens to them mentally. 0.94

00:32:20.240 Somebody that they trust and love puts the idea in their head that they're not worthy 0.97

00:32:25.480 or good enough to do something great.

00:32:29.400 Right.

00:32:29.780 And I think that ruins literally 97% of people's lives.

00:32:35.020 Right.

00:32:35.300 And that's a statistical fact. 0.99

00:32:36.780 I did a fucking study on it. 0.99

00:32:38.440 Just kidding. 0.99

00:32:39.200 I think it's not a coincidence that one of the most impressive guys who has been on our

00:32:44.340 podcast in terms of just the way he thinks, the way he sort of creates the life he wants,

00:32:48.800 Charlie Jabbily.

00:32:49.580 Yeah.

00:32:49.880 I think it's not coincidence that he's kind of like a big kid.

00:32:53.220 Yeah.

00:32:53.460 You know, like he thinks he's very almost childlike.

00:32:55.920 Yeah.

00:32:56.260 Like he doesn't even think about, I'm not going to do this.

00:32:59.120 Yeah.

00:32:59.300 He's like the kid.

00:33:00.280 No, it's when the other people come in our lives and they say, dude, what are you doing?

00:33:03.840 Yeah.

00:33:04.060 Why are you doing that?

00:33:04.980 Yeah.

00:33:05.360 And then you're like, what do you mean?

00:33:06.400 And they're like, well, you are, you know, the Santa's not real. 1.00

00:33:08.820 And then all of a sudden your fucking bubble bursts and you're like, fuck, I'm not special. 1.00

00:33:13.820 I'm not like any, and dude, they, people buy into that shit and then they go that other 1.00

00:33:18.080 path, man. 0.99

00:33:18.760 They go that path of just, you know, I'm going to get to this.

00:33:22.140 And dude, that's also why you see so many lives fall apart, right?

00:33:25.340 People that aren't dissatisfied, they get content and what, what happens, man, they lose their 0.99

00:33:32.140 fucking house. 1.00

00:33:32.720 They lose their family. 1.00

00:33:33.620 They lose, you know, their job. 1.00

00:33:36.140 They, their shit falls apart because they're not sharp anymore. 1.00

00:33:39.420 They're not, you know, getting better. 1.00

00:33:41.760 They're not improving. 1.00

00:33:42.720 And the world catches you and takes a big bite out of your ass. 1.00

00:33:45.700 I think everybody's that way. 1.00

00:33:48.040 The idea of like perfect bliss. 0.99

00:33:51.280 Oh, like, dude, I see this fucking word all over the internet right now. 0.98

00:33:54.980 Oh, it should be living in bliss. 0.99

00:33:56.860 Blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:33:57.660 Dude, fuck you. 1.00

00:33:59.120 You know what bliss for me coming into this fucking building every day and seeing these 1.00

00:34:03.440 fucking young guys kick ass, helping people change their fucking lives. 1.00

00:34:08.300 And you know what? 1.00

00:34:09.080 I got some fucking stress from it. 0.98

00:34:10.780 And I have some things that I don't like about it, but you know what? 0.99

00:34:13.980 I, that's fucking bliss, right? 1.00

00:34:16.300 Bliss is not sitting with a fucking lemonade on the beach with sand on your fucking feet. 1.00

00:34:21.260 Get the fuck out of here with that. 1.00

00:34:22.940 A hundred percent. 0.99

00:34:23.420 You know what I'm saying?

00:34:23.960 And you've said it before, but successful people don't deal in the ideal.

00:34:26.900 They, they deal in the real and there's, there's something better than bliss.

00:34:29.860 And that is that looking at reality with two eyes wide open and choosing to have a positive

00:34:34.300 attitude in response to it.

00:34:36.040 Yeah, absolutely.

00:34:36.760 So, um, so something I want to bring up also in regard to this whole restlessness thing

00:34:41.220 is that as active as you are in business and social media, those of us who have been around

00:34:46.500 you for a long time, uh, there are times that you completely go off the grid and I've,

00:34:52.380 I've come to realize that these are calculated things.

00:34:54.720 And I want to talk about that because I think so many people are so immersed in our culture,

00:34:59.780 which is like totally mediated, totally full of distraction.

00:35:03.920 That one of the things that's probably true is maybe there is something going on inside

00:35:09.120 them that is a legitimately bad reason why they're, why they're restless, but they keep

00:35:15.460 themselves so busy.

00:35:16.860 They don't even take the time to like look inward and think about, Oh, okay.

00:35:20.420 That's what's bothering.

00:35:21.120 So talk a little bit about like the process.

00:35:22.980 Cause I know sometimes you just, you just unplug, you just go off the grid.

00:35:26.420 Yeah, I start, I start moving away from where I want to be as a person. 0.86

00:35:36.240 Um, and the truth, when that goes on long enough, I pull away and I get fucking corrected. 0.71

00:35:41.780 Yeah. 0.85

00:35:42.040 You know what I mean?

00:35:42.480 It's, it's as simple as that.

00:35:43.900 Yeah.

00:35:44.120 Um, I audit myself, my actions, my words, what I say, how, how, how, how hard I work, how

00:35:50.180 creative I am, um, how helpful I am, how contributing I am.

00:35:53.700 And when I start to get away from that, dude, I pull back and I get refocused and that's

00:35:57.500 it.

00:35:58.060 And it's, I always like to say to somebody, if somebody in Andy's situation can do that,

00:36:02.780 you can too.

00:36:03.500 Oh yeah.

00:36:03.940 You know, there's a, there's a, there's a world's not going to fall apart for you taking

00:36:06.500 a minute to figure out what, what it is you want.

00:36:08.420 No, there's a great, uh, there's a great saying, uh, it was coined.

00:36:11.480 It was, it's a phrase that was coined by the Harvard sociologist, Joseph Nye, and it's

00:36:15.620 called the paradox of plenty.

00:36:16.960 And basically he was saying that in this, in this culture, we're so bombarded with media.

00:36:21.380 That's the plenty that, um, that we actually stop paying attention, not just to, not just

00:36:28.580 to what's going on outside of us, but what's going on inside of us.

00:36:31.680 So it's like how important it is just to pull away and just, however you do it, take a look

00:36:37.100 inwardly and go, okay, I'm kind of miserable.

00:36:40.140 I'm kind of, I'm kind of dissatisfied.

00:36:42.580 I'm kind of restless.

00:36:43.240 Is there something bothering me?

00:36:46.160 And nine times out of 10, if you take the time just to, just to stop and ask that question,

00:36:50.140 you're like, Oh, that's, what's bothering me.

00:36:51.700 Right.

00:36:52.040 And usually, usually what I find, it's something that I'm doing, right?

00:36:55.620 It's something that I'm doing that you can correct.

00:36:57.500 Yes.

00:36:57.920 Yeah.

00:36:58.160 Very easily.

00:36:58.920 And by the way, when I come back from those, um, from those, uh, times away, I always take

00:37:05.140 a time away from like being social.

00:37:07.480 Like I don't go out to dinners.

00:37:08.980 I don't drink alcohol for, you know, time, a long time after that.

00:37:12.520 I usually go like, you know, 60 to 90 days with no alcohol so I can get that habit reset.

00:37:18.040 You know what I'm saying?

00:37:18.840 Right.

00:37:19.080 Yeah.

00:37:19.840 Yeah.

00:37:20.120 So, so I guess final thing that I would, I, you know, we, we kind of touched on it before,

00:37:24.540 but I think it'd be a good thing to wrap up with.

00:37:26.940 And that is that so many people out there have restlessness and dissatisfaction because frankly,

00:37:32.600 they have really warped expectations toward life just in general.

00:37:36.940 Like what to expect, what's going to make you happy.

00:37:39.480 So I just speak to that.

00:37:41.180 Well, I think a huge thing is, you know, um, that it's patience, man.

00:37:49.820 It's understanding of what, how long time takes, you know, to, to make things materialize

00:37:54.100 and they just don't understand it.

00:37:56.180 And, you know, I see it, I see it in my own companies, dude.

00:37:59.880 I have people who come in and a year later, if they're not making six figures, you know, 0.78

00:38:03.760 they're fucking pissed off or two years later, if they're not making six figures. 0.96

00:38:06.940 They're pissed off, you know? 0.99

00:38:08.560 And it's like, okay, well, I'm glad you're pissed, but what are you going to do to fucking 0.95

00:38:12.140 get to the point where you want to be, you know? 0.94

00:38:14.660 And what happens? 0.97

00:38:15.320 They fucking leave, you know? 0.97

00:38:17.080 And, um, unfortunately, you know, I think people, because of the way Instagram is and 0.99

00:38:25.620 the way social media is and what we're, uh, you know, bombarded by all this fucking flash 0.99

00:38:30.980 shit, people have this expectation that they're just, it's just going to happen. 0.99

00:38:36.520 And that's just not how it happens. 0.99

00:38:38.780 You know what I mean?

00:38:39.820 Um, I think it's a big culture issue in society to where we've lost the idea, um, to put in

00:38:49.760 10 years into something or put in 15 years into something hard.

00:38:53.140 Yeah, man.

00:38:53.620 And to slog through it.

00:38:54.600 Yeah.

00:38:54.980 And, uh, you know, we have these people telling all these people online to quit their jobs and 0.99

00:39:00.320 fucking, if they're not happy, if they don't like quit their shit and like, you know, dude, 0.99

00:39:05.540 I'm going to tell you right now, there's fucking lots of days where I fucking hate what I do, 1.00

00:39:09.380 but I ain't fucking quitting. 0.98

00:39:10.460 Right. 0.96

00:39:10.820 You know what I mean?

00:39:11.340 That's why I am where I am.

00:39:12.540 Right.

00:39:13.020 And, you know, um, and like, dude, there's, you gotta be aware, right?

00:39:19.040 Is there upside in your position?

00:39:20.720 Like, are you able to grow a career? 0.99

00:39:23.200 You know, or if you're working at McDonald's and the best you're ever going to be is a fucking 0.99

00:39:26.120 fry cook. 0.99

00:39:26.740 Yeah.

00:39:27.040 That's something maybe you want to go find another job, but, um, there's just, you know,

00:39:33.200 there's just unrealistic living examples of life and culture all around us, 24 hours a

00:39:40.280 day, of course that's going to affect people's perception of what their life should be like.

00:39:44.700 Well, you've said this before. 0.97

00:39:45.760 You know, you don't see fucking a million people. 0.99

00:39:47.420 You don't see a million people following a dude on Instagram who makes fucking, you know, 1.00

00:39:51.580 three grand a month and lives in a fucking $400 a month apartment. 1.00

00:39:55.740 Like that motherfucker don't have a million followers on Instagram. 1.00

00:39:58.560 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:39:59.440 But the, but most of the million followers following that motherfucker, that's how they live, 1.00

00:40:03.300 you know? 1.00

00:40:04.200 And they're, they're freaking the fuck out.

00:40:06.220 Cause they're not like that dude.

00:40:07.680 Well, dude, what did that guy get to get there?

00:40:09.240 What did he give?

00:40:10.620 You know, and they're like, Oh, well he gave, he worked for 20 years.

00:40:13.300 Well, I don't want to work for 20 years.

00:40:14.360 I want to work for three years because 20 years sounds so hard.

00:40:17.420 And dude, this goes back to what we talked about in the beginning.

00:40:19.540 You know, people, they don't have faith in the work, man.

00:40:23.140 Like I think, I think on top of, you know, the outside, let's say I said 97% of people

00:40:31.080 are crushed by their peers or people they love and care about told to be normal and they

00:40:36.500 couldn't be great. 0.98

00:40:37.200 I think the other fucking, you know, let's say the 2%, you know, or the other contributing 0.99

00:40:43.140 factor to those 97% is that they look at, they, they look at how far they got to go. 0.98

00:40:49.340 And they say this to themselves, what if I do all this work and it doesn't work out?

00:40:53.480 What if I fucking work as hard as I can do everything I can do, do everything I can to 0.85

00:41:00.120 get ahead, build my skillset, put in the work, put in the time and it doesn't work. 1.00

00:41:04.860 And then they go talk to their friend and their friend says, well, yeah, fuck that. 0.99

00:41:08.360 I ain't going to work. 1.00

00:41:09.320 And then they go fucking drink beer and they quit. 0.99

00:41:12.260 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:41:12.980 Like that's it.

00:41:13.800 Dude, you and I know this, you know how much money, time, energy that we've wasted on previous

00:41:18.300 businesses that didn't, you know, end up working out.

00:41:22.060 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:22.500 But holy fuck. 1.00

00:41:23.700 But nobody sees that. 1.00

00:41:24.440 Well, nobody sees that, but like the shit that you learn through those processes, like 0.99

00:41:29.060 it's worth 10 times the money that you spent. 0.99

00:41:31.080 I know dude.

00:41:31.460 But like I said, if you, if somebody has not been immersed in it and they haven't seen

00:41:36.080 it, they don't have any representation of it in their own life.

00:41:39.880 They don't believe it.

00:41:41.360 It's just hard to get them to believe it. 1.00

00:41:42.760 They think it sounds like bullshit. 0.99

00:41:44.020 And like, dude, it's, it's no different than looking at the top of Mount Everest and saying, 1.00

00:41:48.440 fuck, I could never fucking get to the top of Mount Everest. 0.99

00:41:51.260 Well, sure you can. 1.00

00:41:51.920 It's very fucking simple. 0.98

00:41:52.940 You're going to put one foot down and then you're going to put the other foot down. 0.99

00:41:56.160 Right.

00:41:56.560 And not give up.

00:41:57.260 And that's it.

00:41:57.980 And you just keep moving. 0.98

00:41:59.080 Dude, the funny thing is a lot of the people that say they don't want to work for fucking

00:42:01.760 20 years, if hypothetical situation, if you asked a lot of those people to work just for 0.83

00:42:07.720 30 days to get everything of their dreams.

00:42:10.400 No, they wouldn't do it.

00:42:10.980 They, they couldn't.

00:42:11.820 Right.

00:42:12.980 No, but I, I think, uh, I think a huge fundamental problem, and we've talked about this actually

00:42:18.400 a while ago on the podcast, but is this idea that just to, uh,

00:42:22.920 a misunderstanding of the nature of the universe.

00:42:25.000 And as you've put it before, people who think that, that life on earth or life in this universe,

00:42:30.240 it's a playground and it's not, it's a battleground and realizing that, that things don't, aren't

00:42:35.040 going to come easy in life and, and happiness isn't going to come easy and happiness is not

00:42:39.200 going to come and stay.

00:42:40.480 It's going to come and go and there's going to be struggle.

00:42:42.320 And it's amazing to me how many people don't get that.

00:42:45.640 They think, they think life on planet earth is really just a, it's a playground and things

00:42:50.340 should come easy and they're entitled to things.

00:42:51.940 And I don't know, I, I, you know, obviously I believe in God, so I believe the universe

00:42:56.240 is good, but that doesn't mean the universe is safe.

00:42:58.120 Like there's, there's suffering in the world.

00:43:00.180 There's bad people in the world.

00:43:01.780 There's all sorts of things that are going to challenge your, your happiness and you got

00:43:05.360 to fight for it.

00:43:06.160 But once, but once you get, so you said something in there that I really like, happiness is going

00:43:11.400 to come and go.

00:43:12.320 All right.

00:43:12.940 So what happens the first time happiness comes and goes when most people in most people's

00:43:18.020 lives?

00:43:19.540 Well, they quit on whatever it is. 1.00

00:43:21.100 They fucking fold. 1.00

00:43:21.400 Yeah, they fold. 1.00

00:43:22.020 They fucking fold, dude. 1.00

00:43:23.400 They go, they quit. 1.00

00:43:24.320 They, and then they spend the rest of their life bitching about how they used to have fucking 1.00

00:43:29.380 happiness and how they got fucked out of it. 0.99

00:43:31.660 But the truth is, you know how successful people look at happiness when it goes away? 0.96

00:43:36.540 They look at it like this. 1.00

00:43:38.840 Fuck. 0.99

00:43:39.360 I was able to create that at one time. 1.00

00:43:41.100 So guess what?

00:43:42.180 I'd create it again.

00:43:43.300 Yeah.

00:43:43.580 And again and again and again.

00:43:44.640 And guess what?

00:43:45.720 Eventually they learn how to keep it because they got it and lost it and got it and lost

00:43:51.160 it.

00:43:51.500 And then they just get it and it's there because they're smart.

00:43:54.540 Yeah.

00:43:55.080 You know, but that's the difference in people, man.

00:43:56.960 They, and, and, and the truth is happiness being in your life at one point in time should

00:44:02.460 be enough evidence that it's you that creates it.

00:44:05.780 Yeah, exactly.

00:44:07.900 No, I, I, I hear you.

00:44:09.060 And it, it, it just, it's, it's, but go to any local bar, dude. 0.98

00:44:12.400 And you're going to hear a fucking sob stories at every fucking barstool about how they once 0.99

00:44:18.420 had it all and they fucking lost it. 1.00

00:44:21.040 Right. 0.99

00:44:21.200 As if it's just this passive experience that we have no control over.

00:44:24.320 Well, dude, I think in no offense to the religious community, but I think that's a big problem 0.99

00:44:29.340 with organized religion, which is why I'm not organized in my spirituality.

00:44:32.660 They make people think that everything is God's will and that everything is in the control of 0.99

00:44:38.280 fucking, you know, this mystical force they call God and it makes people fucking just accept 1.00

00:44:43.480 the shit that comes their way. 1.00

00:44:45.680 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:45.940 I would, I would argue that that's a misinterpretation of the way they're wrong in the way that they

00:44:50.320 interpret God's will.

00:44:51.160 Like as if God just wants us to roll over and passively accept anything that happens to

00:44:55.220 us.

00:44:55.460 That's how most people, that's how they justify it.

00:44:57.340 I agree.

00:44:57.660 That that is how, I don't believe that that's how we're supposed to understand it, but I think

00:45:01.660 that that's how most people understand it.

00:45:03.680 And who are religious.

00:45:04.300 You know how I look at it?

00:45:05.220 Yeah.

00:45:05.420 If, if God's supposed to be the creator and the father, which is most people will say,

00:45:11.460 well, yeah, he is.

00:45:12.120 He's supposed to be.

00:45:12.980 Right. 0.98

00:45:13.300 Well then why the, naming one father doesn't want their son to fucking do the best they 0.99

00:45:17.020 can. 0.99

00:45:18.520 Yeah.

00:45:18.880 There's a good, can I quote a Bible verse?

00:45:20.640 Yeah.

00:45:21.100 So there's a good verse in Philippians that says, continue to work out your salvation with

00:45:24.740 fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his

00:45:28.660 good purpose.

00:45:29.400 And that's a perfect example of we're called to struggle.

00:45:32.940 We're, we're called to work, we're called to work out, you know, our place in life.

00:45:37.900 But really at the end of the day, we do do that realizing that it's God's power that's

00:45:42.060 given us strength and it's God's power that's given us the ability.

00:45:44.400 So I think there's a paradox there that not everybody sees.

00:45:46.880 Yeah, I get it. 0.99

00:45:47.300 You know, but that's because most people are fucking sheep. 1.00

00:45:49.160 Right. 1.00

00:45:49.880 Okay. 0.99

00:45:50.460 So most people will fucking hear, oh, it's God's will. 1.00

00:45:53.660 And then they hear, oh, well, I'm a fucking piece of shit. 1.00

00:45:56.440 That's God's will. 1.00

00:45:57.140 He made a piece of shit. 1.00

00:45:58.200 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:59.040 That's what he's going to think.

00:46:00.140 No, no, no, no, no.

00:46:00.320 I agree.

00:46:00.700 No, I agree.

00:46:01.180 It's very, very passive. 0.98

00:46:02.220 Same reason why I don't fucking talk about luck. 0.94

00:46:04.680 Why I never talk about luck on this podcast. 0.94

00:46:06.620 Because if I say, oh, dude, we had this one situation where we got really lucky. 0.96

00:46:11.180 Everybody points the finger and says, see, see, he got fucking lucky. 0.92

00:46:15.180 And they quit. 0.99

00:46:16.140 Right.

00:46:17.400 Yeah.

00:46:17.640 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:18.240 I know.

00:46:18.480 I hear you. 1.00

00:46:18.920 It's bullshit. 1.00

00:46:19.680 I'm with you. 0.99

00:46:20.120 No, I, the overall emphasis is on fighting for happiness, struggling for it, being active,

00:46:27.000 you know, and not just, not just rolling over and playing dead and saying, oh, I'm just

00:46:31.260 not happy. 0.98

00:46:31.960 It's ridiculous. 0.75

00:46:32.900 It's about accountability. 0.91

00:46:33.960 Yeah.

00:46:34.300 It is about personal accountability.

00:46:36.060 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:36.280 It's about taking fucking responsibility for the decisions that you make. 0.99

00:46:40.380 Dude, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:46:41.600 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:41.800 Like if you fucking pour a cup of water on the fucking fire, guess what happens? 1.00

00:46:44.820 Fire fucking goes out. 1.00

00:46:45.920 Right. 0.99

00:46:46.140 There's not one time in the history of earth where you fucking had a little campfire and 1.00

00:46:50.560 you put enough water on it that the motherfucker didn't go out. 1.00

00:46:52.940 That's the same. 0.99

00:46:54.200 This is cause and effect.

00:46:55.880 Your life is cause and effect.

00:46:57.780 What you have right now is, is a result of whatever decisions you made previous to that.

00:47:04.580 That's it.

00:47:05.480 It cannot be argued.

00:47:07.020 Cannot be argued. 0.99

00:47:08.140 I made a decision to fucking walk up to that guy's car window when I got fucking stabbed. 1.00

00:47:12.780 I made a decision to do all that shit. 1.00

00:47:16.140 I didn't blame him. 1.00

00:47:17.760 I don't blame, I don't blame anybody but myself.

00:47:20.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:47:21.420 Right.

00:47:21.660 Well, you, you just used the optimal word.

00:47:23.480 I think people who chronically live unsuccessful lives are always looking to place blame.

00:47:29.260 And instead people who are successful, like who, who cares who's to blame?

00:47:32.680 I'm going to take responsibility and choose to act.

00:47:35.260 Yes.

00:47:35.700 Yeah.

00:47:36.120 And the truth of it is, is that, you know, we, we are, I just firmly believe what I'm 1.00

00:47:42.820 saying and people, and people get mad when I say that shit. 0.99

00:47:45.300 Cause they're like, what about this? 0.99

00:47:46.360 And what about that?

00:47:47.060 And what about this?

00:47:47.740 And what about that?

00:47:48.820 Well, the questions you should ask is like, well, how did I get in this position in the

00:47:51.820 first place?

00:47:52.360 Cause I will bet you anything. 1.00

00:47:55.860 Most of the bad shit that has happened to you in your life. 1.00

00:47:58.920 It was a result of you making poor decisions. 1.00

00:48:02.340 Most of it being in the wrong place, doing the wrong shit, doing shit. 1.00

00:48:06.940 You probably didn't know it was not right. 0.99

00:48:08.760 Now are there accidents that can't be controlled? 1.00

00:48:11.760 Somebody drops a beam on your fucking head from the skyscraper and you get crushed. 1.00

00:48:16.140 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:16.860 But the truth is you do. 1.00

00:48:17.960 You decided to walk on the fucking street while they were new construction. 1.00

00:48:20.980 Right. 1.00

00:48:21.440 You know what I'm saying?

00:48:21.960 Like, I just don't, I don't know. 0.96

00:48:24.340 Like, I think it's, you know, like, um, Jocko fucking extreme ownership. 0.92

00:48:28.180 I, it's like every fucking, once you, once you accept that everything is a result of your 0.97

00:48:37.020 decisions, you become in control. 0.99

00:48:39.660 You know what I'm saying?

00:48:40.520 Like when you, and like, there are other exceptions.

00:48:43.600 Sure.

00:48:44.300 All right. 0.99

00:48:44.980 There's fucking exceptions. 0.98

00:48:46.240 There's things that are going to happen to you, but what can you do to make those things 0.98

00:48:51.120 work for you?

00:48:52.260 Right.

00:48:52.720 It's like a game, dude.

00:48:54.180 It's like a game.

00:48:55.320 This happened to me.

00:48:56.720 How could I use it?

00:48:58.560 Right.

00:48:58.940 Dude.

00:48:59.140 My favorite example is when, you know, people blame their spouse for cheating on them. 0.99

00:49:03.420 It's like, let's, let's fucking audit. 0.90

00:49:05.760 Like what you, what kind of partner you did? 0.98

00:49:07.920 First of all, you picked her or him. 0.99

00:49:09.980 Second of all, what'd you do to fucking create that situation where that was even a fucking 0.99

00:49:14.560 issue? 0.98

00:49:15.040 There's always, there's always two sides.

00:49:16.360 Yes.

00:49:17.080 And like, I'm not condoning that, but I'm just saying like, there's, there are things 0.98

00:49:22.300 that you did that contribute to every fucking thing that happens in your life. 0.95

00:49:25.920 Which people need to understand. 0.99

00:49:27.280 Doesn't, yeah.

00:49:27.800 It doesn't make what they did right, but it does.

00:49:29.700 Dude, there's situations, right?

00:49:31.000 Like, like, let's say, like, let's use an example.

00:49:33.400 All right.

00:49:34.120 Your, your daughter or son gets cancer.

00:49:36.580 All right.

00:49:37.540 Well, maybe that's not a result of your actions, but now you've got to own the actions.

00:49:42.940 Right.

00:49:43.520 Right.

00:49:43.740 And you've got to decide how we're going to make this into a good situation.

00:49:46.700 And let's say the person dies.

00:49:48.580 All right.

00:49:49.900 That's terrible. 0.99

00:49:50.940 It's fucking horrible. 0.99

00:49:52.520 It's the worst thing ever, but you still have to figure out what you learned from that 0.99

00:50:00.020 situation and how you can use it to be ultimately happier.

00:50:04.060 Okay.

00:50:05.920 And dude, you know, people are like, well, how the fuck do you figure that out when something 0.58

00:50:09.060 like that happens?

00:50:09.740 Well, first of all, you could use it to audit your own mortality and your actions and your

00:50:13.860 life and how you're living.

00:50:15.800 And that could ultimately improve you.

00:50:17.500 There's all kinds of things that could happen that actually result in things progressing

00:50:20.900 in a better way.

00:50:22.020 So here's the distinction that I think is important to make, because I think when we talk about

00:50:25.820 taking personal responsibility and ownership, I think there are people out there who think

00:50:30.180 it means beating yourself up.

00:50:32.140 And it doesn't mean that.

00:50:33.660 To me, here's an example from the Bible.

00:50:36.180 So I think most people, even people who aren't familiar with the Bible, know that Judas is the

00:50:41.160 person who betrayed Jesus.

00:50:42.180 So after he did that, he felt horrible and he went out and hung himself.

00:50:47.800 Okay.

00:50:48.980 Well, that's beating yourself up.

00:50:50.760 Well, in the same book of the Bible, Peter actually denied that he knew Jesus, later on

00:50:56.780 felt horrible about it, but then went and basically reconciled with Jesus and said, he went back

00:51:02.160 to him and said, hey, I really, I still want to serve you.

00:51:05.200 You know, give me the commission and I'll go out and tell everybody about you.

00:51:08.100 And I think that's a huge distinction to make, because when you talk about ownership, you're

00:51:13.740 not saying, oh, it's my fault and I'm going to beat myself up and I'm just going to feel

00:51:19.040 guilty and just wallow in self-pity for the rest of my life.

00:51:21.580 No, you're saying, okay, my actions had consequences.

00:51:25.520 I'm responsible for them.

00:51:26.940 But instead of beating myself up and just going and hanging myself, I'm going to do what

00:51:31.180 needs to be done to make it right.

00:51:33.220 That's right.

00:51:33.680 Is that a good analogy?

00:51:34.360 Absolutely.

00:51:34.840 I love it.

00:51:35.340 All right.

00:51:35.600 Going back to the happiness, like how often you're happy versus how often like you're

00:51:39.940 pissed off or stressed out.

00:51:41.520 One of my favorite analogies is baseball, like going to bat 10 out of 10 times. 0.99

00:51:47.500 If you get three hits, you can make a fucking career off that. 0.99

00:51:49.700 Yeah. 0.99

00:51:50.160 And do you think that they're not, do you think that they're pissed off the fucking six, you 0.97

00:51:55.760 know, six, seven times that they strike out? 0.97

00:51:57.540 Oh, that's a good point.

00:51:59.120 Like you strike out six or seven times in a row and you'll be pissed.

00:52:02.300 Yeah.

00:52:02.580 But yeah.

00:52:03.080 Bat 300. 0.98

00:52:03.620 Yeah.

00:52:04.100 That's still considered good.

00:52:04.860 There's, you can be dissatisfied and restless under the umbrella of still being happy.

00:52:10.780 That's the point people miss.

00:52:12.480 Okay.

00:52:13.020 Your overall life.

00:52:16.100 Okay.

00:52:17.240 Can be happy.

00:52:18.980 And underneath that giant umbrella, there could be a little sections of restlessness and frustration.

00:52:24.380 That doesn't mean you're unhappy.

00:52:26.160 And I think that is what people mistake a lot of times.

00:52:29.300 You know, they have one situation or they have a situation that is ongoing.

00:52:33.380 Like, you know, they have this person at work that they've got to deal with and it's frustrating

00:52:37.740 them and it's making them angry.

00:52:38.860 And every day they go to work, they got to blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:52:40.520 And they're like, fuck, I hate my fucking job. 1.00

00:52:42.500 It's not that you hate your job. 1.00

00:52:44.760 You hate this one aspect of your job and you're not doing anything to correct it.

00:52:49.500 Right.

00:52:50.060 You see what I'm saying?

00:52:50.940 Absolutely. 0.99

00:52:51.600 And you have to fucking, you have to realize that just because you have one situation in 0.99

00:52:56.700 your life, that doesn't mean you're unhappy. 0.99

00:52:58.380 Just because you have 10 situations doesn't mean you're unhappy.

00:53:01.480 You know what I mean?

00:53:01.980 Right.

00:53:02.900 Right.

00:53:04.080 Definitely.

00:53:04.680 Well, that's good stuff, man.

00:53:05.760 I think we covered a lot of stuff.

00:53:08.760 I just would close.

00:53:10.740 Here's my final word.

00:53:12.760 So people are restless.

00:53:14.400 They're dissatisfied.

00:53:17.140 If you look over the course of the history, the things that philosophers and all the smart

00:53:22.020 people in the world say that human beings hunger for, it's truth, goodness, and beauty.

00:53:25.940 And in popular terms, that means you want to be your truth.

00:53:31.300 You want to be your authentic self.

00:53:32.680 You want to be honest with yourself.

00:53:33.960 Goodness, you want to be a good person.

00:53:35.760 You want to be doing good in the world, doing the right thing.

00:53:38.180 And beauty, you want to be considered an attractive person.

00:53:40.500 And that's not necessarily physically attractive.

00:53:43.420 It just means somebody that people like and admire.

00:53:47.300 I think those are ultimately the things that we should be seeking for.

00:53:51.020 Because as you've said, as much as you like the Lamborghinis and the nice stuff, what Ed

00:53:58.640 said is true.

00:53:59.940 There's nothing that is as cool as you thought it was going to be.

00:54:02.680 That's right.

00:54:03.060 So focusing on those core fundamental things that every human being struggles to hunger

00:54:09.320 for, truth, goodness, and beauty, being your authentic self, being a good person,

00:54:13.940 and really seeking to be somebody who's truly admirable for the right reasons, I think

00:54:18.960 that should be our ultimate goal in life.

00:54:21.020 Yeah.

00:54:21.300 And if you do that, if you do, and by the way, that's, I love that.

00:54:25.020 If you do that, what you're saying, you're going to feel, you're not going to confuse

00:54:30.340 frustration with other areas of your life as I'm not fulfilling my purpose.

00:54:37.160 Right.

00:54:37.460 You see what I'm saying?

00:54:38.360 Most people that say, I don't know what my purpose is.

00:54:40.860 The reason they don't know what their purpose is, is because A, they haven't developed any

00:54:45.340 real skills yet.

00:54:46.560 B, they're doing something that doesn't involve their real skills, their gifts.

00:54:51.880 Okay.

00:54:52.140 Or C, they're living an immoral life that's not aligned with their moral code, and they're

00:54:59.840 mistaking it as being unfulfilled from the other areas of their life.

00:55:05.160 Okay.

00:55:05.440 So if you want to have, if you want to feel like you have purpose, you've got to A, do

00:55:10.720 something that you're good at, B, do something that you believe in, and C, live in alignment

00:55:16.640 with your own personal moral code.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - August 26, 2018

SUNDAY SERMON： Desire, Dissatisfaction, and Wrestling with Restlessness, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO258

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