SUNDAY SERMON： Desire, Dissatisfaction, and Wrestling with Restlessness, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO258
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of the MFCEO Project, the boys talk about their favorite movies and what they watch after watching them. They also talk about the upcoming St. Louis Blues game and much, much more. Also, the winner of the iTunes Review Contest has been chosen and the winner will be flown to St Louis to be treated like kings and queens, have strategy with Andy and have a dinner with me.
Transcript
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If you want to make your dream become reality, the people that are running after that dream know they're going to have hard times.
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They keep on running because they're saying within themselves, I'm the one, I'm the one.
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No matter how bad it is or how bad it gets, I'm going to make it.
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What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host.
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I can't say, I feel bad saying the mother effing CEO on Sunday, but then later in the podcast, I'm going to drop F-bombs.
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But it does provide a little bit of a distinction.
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And before we get to business, just to remind you guys, we have an iTunes review contest going on
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where the winners will be flown to St. Louis, be treated like kings and queens,
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get to sit down, have strategy, have coaching with me.
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And then we're going to take you out to a nice kings and queens dinner.
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Vaughn's going to feed you grapes and fan you with, and Tyler's going to fan you with big leaves.
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And Vaughn apparently is going to rub oil all over you.
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So if you're interested in that sort of a trip, go to iTunes, leave us a review, screenshot it,
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email the screenshot to contact at andyfricella.com with the subject line review contest.
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Well, dude, I got a lot of feedback about how much people loved us just sort of talking about movies and stuff.
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We talked about Carrie and the scary movies and stuff like that.
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And we don't have to get into it right now, but I do think people are interested in knowing,
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you know, occasionally you talk about favorite movies and stuff like that.
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Is there a movie that you watch that you want to just run through a brick wall after you watch it?
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No, I don't know what a brick wall is, so I don't know that I would like to.
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Well, I haven't seen it yet, but you told me about the part where the guy gets.
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All these young bucks listening have no idea what The Program is.
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And that movie came out when I was playing high school football.
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So I think that was the first movie to come out that actually showed the behind the scenes
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I know, but all I know is the Andy Fursella review, which is, it's so bad, it's awesome.
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Dude, it's one of those movies that if it's on, you just fucking turn it on.
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That's because you can be entertained by not actually even paying attention.
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Like, I like certain parts of it, but that's not a movie that I watch when it's on.
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Like, what, is that one that you watch when they're on?
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Yeah, dude, Glory is one of my favorite fucking movies.
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You need to literally tell young people to go watch that movie.
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Because most people don't know about that movie.
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If you're not moved and inspired by that movie, something's wrong with you.
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And, like, dude, even thinking about that movie gives me chills.
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I haven't seen all of his movies, but I've never seen a Denzel movie watched.
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Dude, Man on Fire, it's like one of my favorite movies.
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Oh, dude, that's a movie I'll watch when it's on.
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But Pacific Rim's definitely one of those movies that I will watch.
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I mean, are you really surprised he hasn't seen it?
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He just now started following First Form today, ten minutes ago.
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Dude, we've been talking about Pacific Rim for three years.
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I like the early rock, the rundown, Standing Tall.
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It's not Standing Tall, it's Walking Tall, by the way.
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Dude, but there's some movies he did like in that middle section that are bad.
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I'm talking about the middle, when he was trying to be Hollywood, but he-
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He did go into like the Disney theme for a little.
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Where like, he did all these family movies and shit for a while.
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Like he was like, oh, okay, I got a couple movies.
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And dude, he tried to be like a Hollywood actor, and it didn't work.
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He got cast in all these weird movies, like those family movies.
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Then dude, he went, he's like, fuck it, I'm going to be The Rock.
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And he went back, and he made that movie with Mark Wahlberg.
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And like, with the attitude, and dude, that's when his shit came back.
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Then he did like, you know, the Fast Five and all that shit.
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And dude, that's whenever he became the fucking Hollywood stud.
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But dude, the lesson there is, dude, being yourself is the best fucking way to go.
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Yeah, there's definitely movies in the middle that are, that are pretty, pretty hard to
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So, it might provide a good segue into our topic today.
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But, you know, you and I were talking about how we were so excited about last night, like,
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You want to give people like a, like, like a small little preview of-
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Well, guys, you guys know we have the Arte Syndicate going on, and yesterday Andy and
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Ed gave just an unbelievable conference call, and it just got all of us so excited about
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it, and it's a movement, like, that's literally going to change the world.
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But there was a question that was presented to Andy, and then as he was talking about it,
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he was thinking, yeah, we should talk about that a little bit more in length in the Sunday
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I thought it was a great, a great way to, to really bring up a topic that I think a lot
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And these guys, by the way, that we talked to, they're very successful.
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These are, these are people who are earning, you know, seven figures a year, a high six figures,
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And, um, this question that we got was, um, a guy who, who was obviously he's successful.
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He wouldn't be in the group because we, we filter everybody out.
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Um, and he said, he's like, look, man, I'm struggling.
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Um, figuring out what my purpose is other than, you know, selling shit and taking care
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And I feel empty inside and I'm not happy with what, what I have going on.
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And I think, um, you know, that is a common issue with people, right?
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They always feel empty no matter how much they succeed.
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And this is why you have people who make millions and millions of dollars and then fucking kill
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And people are like, ah, how come, how come he killed himself because he's rich?
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You're going to feel empty if your only goal in life is money.
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And, and, um, one of the things that, that I think people have to understand is that, you
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know, if you're not contributing to something good, if you're not feeling good about what
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it is that you're doing, if you don't see, uh, if you're not able to help other people
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or pick other people up or do service to other people, you're going to feel empty service to
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And I don't mean like going down to the, uh, you know, I don't just mean going down to
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the, you know, the food pantry on Christmas and serving meals.
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Like a lot of people think that's service and it is service, but once a year really
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It's not something you should be bragging about.
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We're talking about consistently building your life around contributing to other people.
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And, um, one of the things that you need to be aware of when we talk about, you know,
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cause we just talked about fulfilling purpose a couple of podcasts ago.
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Um, and a lot of people have issues with figuring out what their purpose is, obviously.
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But this podcast is more so, I want it to like hit on a different note where it's for
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the people who may have think that they have, they've had their purpose for the last 20 years,
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And one of the things I want you guys to be aware of is that struggling with your purpose.
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A lot of times it can feel like, I don't know what my purpose is.
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You're solving problems that frustrate you, which are all things we talked about on the
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last podcast, but you feel like it's not your purpose.
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Well, clearly you were gifted with certain skills that allow you to be good at what it is you're
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So if you feel empty, if that's you and you feel empty right now, I want you to understand
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that the reason that you could feel empty and unfulfilled has not, it could have nothing
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It could have everything to do with how you feel about yourself.
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A lot of people mistake being off track or not fulfilling their reason for being here and
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not pursuing their purpose as the problem when, and actually the problem is, and in reality,
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what the problem is, is that they don't feel good about who the fuck they are as a person.
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And that's something that a lot of people struggle with.
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They've been in business, like, like, you know, they've been in business for 20 years.
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They're doing all the things they're supposed to do, but they still feel empty.
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The reason you could still feel empty might be because you're doing things that are out
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of alignment with what you know to be right in your heart as a person.
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Now, are there people absolutely that are, have gone 20 years not fulfilling their purpose?
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And the way to know that is you probably hate your fucking job.
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Even I have, dude, three out of the fucking five days that I'm here in the office during
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the week are fucking stressful and frustrating and this, but the overall of what I do, I
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And I think that's where a lot of people get off because they don't, they don't internally
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But dude, but like, dude, I live like people don't believe it when I say this, like I live
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to come in here and give motherfuckers raises for real.
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I think about all the time, like in the shower every morning, I'm like, man, what about this
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And I'm constantly thinking about who I can bring up and who deserves and has put in the
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But that's also a measuring stick for, you know, the job that you're doing as well too.
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If you're willing to give somebody a raise, that means you've done your job as a leader
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I want to develop these motherfuckers so that they can go out and conquer the earth.
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I know not everybody's going to leave or not everybody's going to stay here and some people
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But my goal is to make sure that they're equipped to fucking succeed.
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And nothing is more rewarding than to see someone succeed in a model that you've designed.
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And a lot of, you know, people who are in business just don't think that way.
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They think of service as what I talked about, going to the food shelter or the homeless shelter
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Instead of like being in service to your employees every single day, meaning I'm contributing
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I'm helping them get to a position where they can provide for their families in a better
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way or they can fulfill their dreams in a better way.
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But the problem is, is a lot of fucking people who own business look at their fucking employees
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as fucking cogs in the machine that are easily replaced and they don't care about them.
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They don't want them to progress because it costs them money, which that's not even true
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because if your employees progress, you're going to make more money.
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But the truth of it is, they just don't fucking care about people.
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And dude, I know a lot of successful motherfuckers that make a lot of money, but they don't give
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And in turn, they feel like shit because they know it's fucking wrong.
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So I think the specific words that you use when you answer that guy's question was that,
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dude, you're thinking that your dissatisfaction is coming from what you do instead of who
00:15:16.720
So the point I was going to make is that you're talking about serving people.
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You're talking about like completely overhaul how you do things as a person or who you
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But what would you say are some practical steps to begin to...
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So I feel like the whole space that we're in, you know, where it's called self-development,
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I feel like to some extent that that's a really bad way of describing it because I think that
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the kind of thing that you're talking about isn't just like, oh, I'm going to improve myself.
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I'm going to become a little bit more honest and a little bit more...
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Like when I think about what happened to you when you were stabbed and the changes that
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happened there, that wasn't you becoming self-improved.
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That was a massive transformation in your life.
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So when you talk about people changing who they are, we're not just talking about, oh,
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I want to like become a little bit better person and do some good needs.
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We're talking about massive transformation so that you just become the kind of person that's
00:16:17.040
So in practical terms, how do you think people go about doing that?
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It's uncomfortable to do what you know is right all the time.
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It's easy to go with the flow, but you know in your heart what is right and what is wrong.
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You know what you should be doing and what you shouldn't.
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You know when you're fucking cutting a corner on being, on doing the right thing, like where
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you're like, oh, I'm doing 70% of the right thing.
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No, it needs to be 100% drawn in the fucking stone, the right thing all the time.
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You know one simple question I started to ask myself like a year ago?
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But your perception of a CEO is probably a lot different than what most people's perception
00:17:08.800
So basically, whatever you know is the right thing to do.
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But you would look at it like, who would you admire?
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I look at Chris Cavallini, people who have like great discipline and it's like, fuck.
00:17:20.600
You know, when you talk about picking up a piece of paper, you know, like it'll trigger
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It's like, do I want to wait till tomorrow to fucking do this or should I just get it out
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Because otherwise that shit's going to start building up and building up, not just the
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laundry, but the whole list of shit that I got to get done throughout the day.
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Dude, that's, people don't realize how insignificant or how significant little things like doing
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So what I'm hearing you say is don't worry about focusing on becoming Mother Teresa or Martin
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Whatever you know you need to do that's right, do that.
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When we talk about, like we've talked about before, dude, when you practice guitar, guess
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When you practice doing the right thing, guess what also happens?
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And that's why what he said a minute ago is so important where he talks about doing the
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Well, yeah, it would be easy to know that you need to do laundry and say, fuck it.
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It doesn't mean anything and throw the shit off till tomorrow.
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But the truth is, you're eroding the habit of discipline instead of adding to it.
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See, every action that you take is going to add to one of your habits or take away from
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And when you aren't conscious of that, it's really easy to erode good habits that you've
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And it goes from, you know, I was once, dude, look, I'm a perfect example of that.
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I'm a guy who for most of his life was in pretty fucking good shape.
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I was in, I was in good enough shape to where most people would say, damn, dude, I wish
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I went home because I was stressed and I ate a fucking pizza one night.
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You're stressed about the pizzas and you ate a fucking other one?
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And then fucking a year later, I'm a hundred pounds overweight.
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One thing that a lot of people do not understand is that everybody's heard the saying, fake
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So the, the reference to the laundry, like that's me faking being a CEO and having that mindset
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Like a lot of people, like they feel guilty when they start to try to do, do something
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significant because they feel like they're faking it.
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But if you're ever going to fucking do it, you're going to have to go through that phase
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of where you're the only one that believes in the actions you're taking.
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And everybody else thinks you're fake and you're going to have to roll through that.
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I love that you use the example of, of, of the way you ate, because it's funny, you have
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so many people that say, Oh, I don't like a certain kinds of food, but there's all sorts
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of studies that say that you can actually retrain your taste buds to like certain kinds
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If you, if you kind of go incrementally over time.
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And I think there are a lot of people that it's so foreign to them to do the right thing
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But if they do a little bit at a time over time, you start to get a taste for it.
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And you're like, man, this feels good to do the right thing.
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I think, Vaughn, a big, big, uh, a big reason people start to feel good about it is they're
00:20:50.640
So for example, like you've been working out for a while now and it's showing by the
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I mean, dude, even the other guys have said something to me about it.
00:21:00.780
Like said that they could tell you've been getting, getting in.
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But, but most people, when they go to the gym, they're like, fuck, that sucked.
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But like, they're not aware of the implications of their actions and what it's going to create.
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So they miss out on the feeling of like, cause they never had it.
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Like, dude, you know, if you take someone who's never been in a gym, they've never worked out,
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they've never, they've never experienced what it can do or never been immersed in the,
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like you have where you're here every day around people who are all into that stuff.
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They've never been immersed in how it can change you and what the effects happen and like
00:21:42.340
Like they don't even, it's so foreign to them that they go to the gym and they're like,
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You know, like, and, and, uh, and the thing is, is like, it's hard to get, it's really,
00:21:57.160
really hard to get those people to follow through on things because they have no experience.
00:22:01.480
And that could apply, dude, that could apply to people right now who are listening, who,
00:22:05.780
who don't have a lot of money and they don't know any wealthy people.
00:22:09.140
And they've never been around someone who's created a successful business and they've
00:22:14.060
You know, the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my life was that my dad was a business
00:22:18.580
owner and I was able to meet other business owners.
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And all I fucking saw was motherfuckers out there building businesses and, and succeeding.
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Like when people, like, like when I say, and you know, this, when I say I'm going to do
00:22:39.380
Like if I say, dude, we're going to be a billion dollar company, we're going to be a
00:22:43.480
I'm just saying billion cause I don't want to freak everybody out with my goals.
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My real goal that I don't tell anybody is like 10 billion.
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But the point is, is the point I'm saying is, is that I was immersed in that experience.
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And so, um, when you're, when you're not around that, you've never seen it.
00:23:04.940
It's just like taking someone to the gym that has never been.
00:23:08.740
And they're like, fuck dude, this is impossible.
00:23:12.380
And you're, you're, what you're describing is the benefits of something else you've
00:23:15.260
talked about a lot in the podcast, although not for a while.
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So I'm not, I'm not where I'm not at this place yet, but I'm pretty close to getting to
00:23:25.000
the place where, where a lot of all of you guys are, where you've worked out so much
00:23:35.960
Like how bad do you feel when you miss a day working out?
00:23:43.940
Well, especially because we represent, you become almost, sorry, Tyler, go ahead.
00:23:48.480
No, I was just going to say, especially because from, you know, what we do for a living,
00:23:52.120
we were, we represent a company that stands for these types of things.
00:23:56.120
So when you miss a day, you feel like you're cheating your customers as well.
00:23:59.160
By the way, just so you know, if you're not familiar with first forms culture, we don't
00:24:05.520
We, we stand for having the courage to get up and do the fucking work no matter what you
00:24:11.140
We stand for working your ass off to earn that beer.
00:24:16.220
So yeah, no, but I mean, it's just, it's, it's a great experience and it's a great to, to
00:24:20.780
build that momentum and get to the point where you almost, you're not worried about
00:24:27.660
You're actually worried about your own internal peer pressure and you're, you letting down
00:24:36.520
I'm definitely not at that point yet, but I'm getting there because of, because of the
00:24:41.040
But because of the consistency and it's like you say, the little by little, just doing it
00:24:45.560
every day and how you can completely transform.
00:24:47.600
It's what we talk about, like the work comes before the belief you're, you're going through
00:24:52.560
So like, well, people don't know what that means.
00:24:54.980
Like they think that, and if you listen to all the people on the internet and all the,
00:24:59.180
you know, the do-gooder fucking woo-woo people, they're going to tell you, they're going to
00:25:07.400
Well, the problem with that is, is that you've never experienced any results in that area of
00:25:14.180
So like, of course you're not going to believe it.
00:25:15.860
But the point is, is you have to, and we're going to talk about faith, which is a huge
00:25:20.080
part of something else that we talk about, but you have to have faith, not in the sense
00:25:27.540
You've got to know that and believe upfront before you, you go out and do it, that if
00:25:38.680
And, and do, we have so many things in society that convince people otherwise, because everybody
00:25:44.920
tries to capitalize on people's misunderstanding of the process.
00:25:51.640
They try to sell them, you know, a system, this, that, the other, that all promise they
00:25:56.940
Well, the fucking figuring it out is right in front of your face.
00:26:04.100
Name me one thing in life where if you go do this shit, it's as simple as digging a hole.
00:26:09.960
If you stick the fucking shovel in the hole and you pull some dirt out and you throw the
00:26:19.840
You stick the shovel again and you throw it out.
00:26:26.020
It's just that nobody wants to believe it because they got to do the work.
00:26:31.000
Speaking of movies, I don't know if you've ever seen the Shawshank Redemption.
00:26:34.540
It's like Andy using the rock hammer and over time digging that entire tunnel out of the
00:26:41.060
And if you would have said, if he would have told someone, hey, I'm going to dig this giant
00:26:45.840
tunnel with this rock hammer, they would have been like, dude, that's fucking impossible.
00:26:50.700
And guys, if you have not seen that movie, you are insane.
00:26:53.320
That's another movie that fits into that character.
00:26:57.220
Not only because of the analogy of the rock hammer, but the fact that he crawls through
00:27:05.620
And then you come out, it's absolutely beautiful.
00:27:12.820
That one scene is the fucking metaphor for entrepreneurship.
00:27:18.480
You got to dig a fucking mile-long tunnel over the course of years.
00:27:22.120
Then you got to crawl through a whole bunch of shit.
00:27:29.880
It washes all the shit off, and you're fucking free.
00:27:36.900
It is going to take you a long time of working with little result.
00:27:40.940
You're going to have to go through a ton of shit, and you're going to come out, and
00:27:44.260
you're going to be like, holy fuck, this is the best thing I ever did.
00:27:51.980
We are, but we're, you know, we opened with this emphasis on-
00:27:56.820
One thing I want to commend you on is actually getting a trainer, because a lot of people
00:28:00.200
need that person to be accountable when they first start off on something.
00:28:03.300
Like, dude, it translates to having a business partner, too.
00:28:06.160
Like, how many times, even though you didn't need to be dragged through the process-
00:28:09.880
Dude, Tyler, I'm going to tell you, people don't know this, and the first four or five
00:28:14.480
years we were in business, Chris did all the work, and I was lazy as fuck.
00:28:19.720
I laid on the couch in the back of the store, and I'm like, fuck this.
00:28:23.000
Like, dude, there was a point in time where I didn't do anything.
00:28:30.900
But thank you for that, but for me, it was zero options mentality.
00:28:34.460
Like, in my opinion, I came to the realization that I'm not going to do this by myself.
00:28:45.680
But I also had to be- I had to be in a place where I just trusted somebody to tell me what
00:28:51.280
Well, bro, it's intimidating to do anything new, right?
00:28:53.820
Like, it's intimidating to go to a fucking gym.
00:28:56.240
It's intimidating to say, to tell all your friends and family, guess what?
00:29:10.640
No, I'm super- so, yeah, so Stu Beeth at Output Performing.
00:29:33.380
You've already bought more mirrors for the house, haven't you?
00:29:39.000
But I do have to give a shout-out to my trainer, Stu, at Output Performance.
00:29:43.100
He's a good guy, and it's just been really helpful.
00:29:46.160
Dude, I've heard really good things about Output.
00:29:53.020
So we were talking about dealing with that restlessness and that sense of dissatisfaction by focusing on maybe it's not what you're doing and maybe it's who you are.
00:30:01.640
But I want to add another layer to the conversation, and that is that sometimes people are really restless.
00:30:07.520
Sometimes they're dissatisfied, but that's a good thing, you know?
00:30:15.240
Well, dude, I just think that's something that it goes along with being a high-achiever mentality or what Tim Grover would call a cleaner.
00:30:23.880
Like, you can have everything going for you the right way in the world, and if you're still restless, guess what?
00:30:29.120
Because, dude, you're the kind of person who has to just – you're just addicted to accomplishing shit, and there's nothing wrong with that.
00:30:37.320
Like, I have to text him once probably every six months and be like, dude, am I fucking crazy?
00:30:41.180
And he'll always be like, no, dude, they're crazy.
00:30:45.000
But, like, you know, I think it just says, you know, like, dude, I want more.
00:30:57.580
Dude, I think the worst thing that you could be is content.
00:31:01.640
The worst thing you could be in life is to look around and say, man, I've done it.
00:31:07.840
That's the pinnacle of your life at that point.
00:31:10.040
That's the end of you experiencing greater things, which is sad.
00:31:18.140
You were just mentioning Tim Grover, and you said, am I crazy?
00:31:23.260
What if, in fact, what if the people like you, the people who are obsessive about, you
00:31:30.400
know, personal potential and success, what if that is what human beings were meant to
00:31:37.400
be like, and everybody else is the insane person?
00:31:41.020
Like, maybe you're sane, and everybody else is insane.
00:31:45.120
I'm not saying everybody has to be a type A personality.
00:31:48.880
I personally believe that all people are born that way.
00:31:58.340
I think all people are born the way that we're talking about now.
00:32:06.780
They get a teacher, they get a coach, they get a parent, they get an uncle, they get
00:32:10.720
an aunt, who sells them on the idea that they're not supposed to do that.
00:32:15.300
Or they get an experience, they get fucking, you know, something bad happens to them mentally.
00:32:20.240
Somebody that they trust and love puts the idea in their head that they're not worthy
00:32:29.780
And I think that ruins literally 97% of people's lives.
00:32:39.200
I think it's not a coincidence that one of the most impressive guys who has been on our
00:32:44.340
podcast in terms of just the way he thinks, the way he sort of creates the life he wants,
00:32:49.880
I think it's not coincidence that he's kind of like a big kid.
00:32:53.460
You know, like he thinks he's very almost childlike.
00:32:56.260
Like he doesn't even think about, I'm not going to do this.
00:33:00.280
No, it's when the other people come in our lives and they say, dude, what are you doing?
00:33:06.400
And they're like, well, you are, you know, the Santa's not real.
00:33:08.820
And then all of a sudden your fucking bubble bursts and you're like, fuck, I'm not special.
00:33:13.820
I'm not like any, and dude, they, people buy into that shit and then they go that other
00:33:18.760
They go that path of just, you know, I'm going to get to this.
00:33:22.140
And dude, that's also why you see so many lives fall apart, right?
00:33:25.340
People that aren't dissatisfied, they get content and what, what happens, man, they lose their
00:33:36.140
They, their shit falls apart because they're not sharp anymore.
00:33:42.720
And the world catches you and takes a big bite out of your ass.
00:33:51.280
Oh, like, dude, I see this fucking word all over the internet right now.
00:33:59.120
You know what bliss for me coming into this fucking building every day and seeing these
00:34:03.440
fucking young guys kick ass, helping people change their fucking lives.
00:34:10.780
And I have some things that I don't like about it, but you know what?
00:34:16.300
Bliss is not sitting with a fucking lemonade on the beach with sand on your fucking feet.
00:34:23.960
And you've said it before, but successful people don't deal in the ideal.
00:34:26.900
They, they deal in the real and there's, there's something better than bliss.
00:34:29.860
And that is that looking at reality with two eyes wide open and choosing to have a positive
00:34:36.760
So, um, so something I want to bring up also in regard to this whole restlessness thing
00:34:41.220
is that as active as you are in business and social media, those of us who have been around
00:34:46.500
you for a long time, uh, there are times that you completely go off the grid and I've,
00:34:52.380
I've come to realize that these are calculated things.
00:34:54.720
And I want to talk about that because I think so many people are so immersed in our culture,
00:34:59.780
which is like totally mediated, totally full of distraction.
00:35:03.920
That one of the things that's probably true is maybe there is something going on inside
00:35:09.120
them that is a legitimately bad reason why they're, why they're restless, but they keep
00:35:16.860
They don't even take the time to like look inward and think about, Oh, okay.
00:35:22.980
Cause I know sometimes you just, you just unplug, you just go off the grid.
00:35:26.420
Yeah, I start, I start moving away from where I want to be as a person.
00:35:36.240
Um, and the truth, when that goes on long enough, I pull away and I get fucking corrected.
00:35:44.120
Um, I audit myself, my actions, my words, what I say, how, how, how, how hard I work, how
00:35:50.180
creative I am, um, how helpful I am, how contributing I am.
00:35:53.700
And when I start to get away from that, dude, I pull back and I get refocused and that's
00:35:58.060
And it's, I always like to say to somebody, if somebody in Andy's situation can do that,
00:36:03.940
You know, there's a, there's a, there's a world's not going to fall apart for you taking
00:36:06.500
a minute to figure out what, what it is you want.
00:36:08.420
No, there's a great, uh, there's a great saying, uh, it was coined.
00:36:11.480
It was, it's a phrase that was coined by the Harvard sociologist, Joseph Nye, and it's
00:36:16.960
And basically he was saying that in this, in this culture, we're so bombarded with media.
00:36:21.380
That's the plenty that, um, that we actually stop paying attention, not just to, not just
00:36:28.580
to what's going on outside of us, but what's going on inside of us.
00:36:31.680
So it's like how important it is just to pull away and just, however you do it, take a look
00:36:46.160
And nine times out of 10, if you take the time just to, just to stop and ask that question,
00:36:52.040
And usually, usually what I find, it's something that I'm doing, right?
00:36:55.620
It's something that I'm doing that you can correct.
00:36:58.920
And by the way, when I come back from those, um, from those, uh, times away, I always take
00:37:08.980
I don't drink alcohol for, you know, time, a long time after that.
00:37:12.520
I usually go like, you know, 60 to 90 days with no alcohol so I can get that habit reset.
00:37:20.120
So, so I guess final thing that I would, I, you know, we, we kind of touched on it before,
00:37:24.540
but I think it'd be a good thing to wrap up with.
00:37:26.940
And that is that so many people out there have restlessness and dissatisfaction because frankly,
00:37:32.600
they have really warped expectations toward life just in general.
00:37:36.940
Like what to expect, what's going to make you happy.
00:37:41.180
Well, I think a huge thing is, you know, um, that it's patience, man.
00:37:49.820
It's understanding of what, how long time takes, you know, to, to make things materialize
00:37:56.180
And, you know, I see it, I see it in my own companies, dude.
00:37:59.880
I have people who come in and a year later, if they're not making six figures, you know,
00:38:03.760
they're fucking pissed off or two years later, if they're not making six figures.
00:38:08.560
And it's like, okay, well, I'm glad you're pissed, but what are you going to do to fucking
00:38:12.140
get to the point where you want to be, you know?
00:38:17.080
And, um, unfortunately, you know, I think people, because of the way Instagram is and
00:38:25.620
the way social media is and what we're, uh, you know, bombarded by all this fucking flash
00:38:30.980
shit, people have this expectation that they're just, it's just going to happen.
00:38:39.820
Um, I think it's a big culture issue in society to where we've lost the idea, um, to put in
00:38:49.760
10 years into something or put in 15 years into something hard.
00:38:54.980
And, uh, you know, we have these people telling all these people online to quit their jobs and
00:39:00.320
fucking, if they're not happy, if they don't like quit their shit and like, you know, dude,
00:39:05.540
I'm going to tell you right now, there's fucking lots of days where I fucking hate what I do,
00:39:13.020
And, you know, um, and like, dude, there's, you gotta be aware, right?
00:39:23.200
You know, or if you're working at McDonald's and the best you're ever going to be is a fucking
00:39:27.040
That's something maybe you want to go find another job, but, um, there's just, you know,
00:39:33.200
there's just unrealistic living examples of life and culture all around us, 24 hours a
00:39:40.280
day, of course that's going to affect people's perception of what their life should be like.
00:39:45.760
You know, you don't see fucking a million people.
00:39:47.420
You don't see a million people following a dude on Instagram who makes fucking, you know,
00:39:51.580
three grand a month and lives in a fucking $400 a month apartment.
00:39:55.740
Like that motherfucker don't have a million followers on Instagram.
00:39:59.440
But the, but most of the million followers following that motherfucker, that's how they live,
00:40:07.680
Well, dude, what did that guy get to get there?
00:40:10.620
You know, and they're like, Oh, well he gave, he worked for 20 years.
00:40:14.360
I want to work for three years because 20 years sounds so hard.
00:40:17.420
And dude, this goes back to what we talked about in the beginning.
00:40:19.540
You know, people, they don't have faith in the work, man.
00:40:23.140
Like I think, I think on top of, you know, the outside, let's say I said 97% of people
00:40:31.080
are crushed by their peers or people they love and care about told to be normal and they
00:40:37.200
I think the other fucking, you know, let's say the 2%, you know, or the other contributing
00:40:43.140
factor to those 97% is that they look at, they, they look at how far they got to go.
00:40:49.340
And they say this to themselves, what if I do all this work and it doesn't work out?
00:40:53.480
What if I fucking work as hard as I can do everything I can do, do everything I can to
00:41:00.120
get ahead, build my skillset, put in the work, put in the time and it doesn't work.
00:41:04.860
And then they go talk to their friend and their friend says, well, yeah, fuck that.
00:41:09.320
And then they go fucking drink beer and they quit.
00:41:13.800
Dude, you and I know this, you know how much money, time, energy that we've wasted on previous
00:41:18.300
businesses that didn't, you know, end up working out.
00:41:24.440
Well, nobody sees that, but like the shit that you learn through those processes, like
00:41:31.460
But like I said, if you, if somebody has not been immersed in it and they haven't seen
00:41:36.080
it, they don't have any representation of it in their own life.
00:41:44.020
And like, dude, it's, it's no different than looking at the top of Mount Everest and saying,
00:41:48.440
fuck, I could never fucking get to the top of Mount Everest.
00:41:52.940
You're going to put one foot down and then you're going to put the other foot down.
00:41:59.080
Dude, the funny thing is a lot of the people that say they don't want to work for fucking
00:42:01.760
20 years, if hypothetical situation, if you asked a lot of those people to work just for
00:42:12.980
No, but I, I think, uh, I think a huge fundamental problem, and we've talked about this actually
00:42:18.400
a while ago on the podcast, but is this idea that just to, uh,
00:42:22.920
a misunderstanding of the nature of the universe.
00:42:25.000
And as you've put it before, people who think that, that life on earth or life in this universe,
00:42:30.240
it's a playground and it's not, it's a battleground and realizing that, that things don't, aren't
00:42:35.040
going to come easy in life and, and happiness isn't going to come easy and happiness is not
00:42:40.480
It's going to come and go and there's going to be struggle.
00:42:42.320
And it's amazing to me how many people don't get that.
00:42:45.640
They think, they think life on planet earth is really just a, it's a playground and things
00:42:50.340
should come easy and they're entitled to things.
00:42:51.940
And I don't know, I, I, you know, obviously I believe in God, so I believe the universe
00:42:56.240
is good, but that doesn't mean the universe is safe.
00:43:01.780
There's all sorts of things that are going to challenge your, your happiness and you got
00:43:06.160
But once, but once you get, so you said something in there that I really like, happiness is going
00:43:12.940
So what happens the first time happiness comes and goes when most people in most people's
00:43:24.320
They, and then they spend the rest of their life bitching about how they used to have fucking
00:43:31.660
But the truth is, you know how successful people look at happiness when it goes away?
00:43:45.720
Eventually they learn how to keep it because they got it and lost it and got it and lost
00:43:51.500
And then they just get it and it's there because they're smart.
00:43:55.080
You know, but that's the difference in people, man.
00:43:56.960
They, and, and, and the truth is happiness being in your life at one point in time should
00:44:02.460
be enough evidence that it's you that creates it.
00:44:09.060
And it, it, it just, it's, it's, but go to any local bar, dude.
00:44:12.400
And you're going to hear a fucking sob stories at every fucking barstool about how they once
00:44:21.200
As if it's just this passive experience that we have no control over.
00:44:24.320
Well, dude, I think in no offense to the religious community, but I think that's a big problem
00:44:29.340
with organized religion, which is why I'm not organized in my spirituality.
00:44:32.660
They make people think that everything is God's will and that everything is in the control of
00:44:38.280
fucking, you know, this mystical force they call God and it makes people fucking just accept
00:44:45.940
I would, I would argue that that's a misinterpretation of the way they're wrong in the way that they
00:44:51.160
Like as if God just wants us to roll over and passively accept anything that happens to
00:44:55.460
That's how most people, that's how they justify it.
00:44:57.660
That that is how, I don't believe that that's how we're supposed to understand it, but I think
00:45:05.420
If, if God's supposed to be the creator and the father, which is most people will say,
00:45:13.300
Well then why the, naming one father doesn't want their son to fucking do the best they
00:45:21.100
So there's a good verse in Philippians that says, continue to work out your salvation with
00:45:24.740
fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his
00:45:29.400
And that's a perfect example of we're called to struggle.
00:45:32.940
We're, we're called to work, we're called to work out, you know, our place in life.
00:45:37.900
But really at the end of the day, we do do that realizing that it's God's power that's
00:45:42.060
given us strength and it's God's power that's given us the ability.
00:45:44.400
So I think there's a paradox there that not everybody sees.
00:45:47.300
You know, but that's because most people are fucking sheep.
00:45:50.460
So most people will fucking hear, oh, it's God's will.
00:45:53.660
And then they hear, oh, well, I'm a fucking piece of shit.
00:46:02.220
Same reason why I don't fucking talk about luck.
00:46:06.620
Because if I say, oh, dude, we had this one situation where we got really lucky.
00:46:11.180
Everybody points the finger and says, see, see, he got fucking lucky.
00:46:20.120
No, I, the overall emphasis is on fighting for happiness, struggling for it, being active,
00:46:27.000
you know, and not just, not just rolling over and playing dead and saying, oh, I'm just
00:46:36.280
It's about taking fucking responsibility for the decisions that you make.
00:46:41.800
Like if you fucking pour a cup of water on the fucking fire, guess what happens?
00:46:46.140
There's not one time in the history of earth where you fucking had a little campfire and
00:46:50.560
you put enough water on it that the motherfucker didn't go out.
00:46:57.780
What you have right now is, is a result of whatever decisions you made previous to that.
00:47:08.140
I made a decision to fucking walk up to that guy's car window when I got fucking stabbed.
00:47:17.760
I don't blame, I don't blame anybody but myself.
00:47:23.480
I think people who chronically live unsuccessful lives are always looking to place blame.
00:47:29.260
And instead people who are successful, like who, who cares who's to blame?
00:47:32.680
I'm going to take responsibility and choose to act.
00:47:36.120
And the truth of it is, is that, you know, we, we are, I just firmly believe what I'm
00:47:42.820
saying and people, and people get mad when I say that shit.
00:47:48.820
Well, the questions you should ask is like, well, how did I get in this position in the
00:47:55.860
Most of the bad shit that has happened to you in your life.
00:48:02.340
Most of it being in the wrong place, doing the wrong shit, doing shit.
00:48:08.760
Now are there accidents that can't be controlled?
00:48:11.760
Somebody drops a beam on your fucking head from the skyscraper and you get crushed.
00:48:17.960
You decided to walk on the fucking street while they were new construction.
00:48:24.340
Like, I think it's, you know, like, um, Jocko fucking extreme ownership.
00:48:28.180
I, it's like every fucking, once you, once you accept that everything is a result of your
00:48:40.520
Like when you, and like, there are other exceptions.
00:48:46.240
There's things that are going to happen to you, but what can you do to make those things
00:48:59.140
My favorite example is when, you know, people blame their spouse for cheating on them.
00:49:09.980
Second of all, what'd you do to fucking create that situation where that was even a fucking
00:49:17.080
And like, I'm not condoning that, but I'm just saying like, there's, there are things
00:49:22.300
that you did that contribute to every fucking thing that happens in your life.
00:49:27.800
It doesn't make what they did right, but it does.
00:49:31.000
Like, like, let's say, like, let's use an example.
00:49:37.540
Well, maybe that's not a result of your actions, but now you've got to own the actions.
00:49:43.740
And you've got to decide how we're going to make this into a good situation.
00:49:52.520
It's the worst thing ever, but you still have to figure out what you learned from that
00:50:00.020
situation and how you can use it to be ultimately happier.
00:50:05.920
And dude, you know, people are like, well, how the fuck do you figure that out when something
00:50:09.740
Well, first of all, you could use it to audit your own mortality and your actions and your
00:50:17.500
There's all kinds of things that could happen that actually result in things progressing
00:50:22.020
So here's the distinction that I think is important to make, because I think when we talk about
00:50:25.820
taking personal responsibility and ownership, I think there are people out there who think
00:50:36.180
So I think most people, even people who aren't familiar with the Bible, know that Judas is the
00:50:42.180
So after he did that, he felt horrible and he went out and hung himself.
00:50:50.760
Well, in the same book of the Bible, Peter actually denied that he knew Jesus, later on
00:50:56.780
felt horrible about it, but then went and basically reconciled with Jesus and said, he went back
00:51:02.160
to him and said, hey, I really, I still want to serve you.
00:51:05.200
You know, give me the commission and I'll go out and tell everybody about you.
00:51:08.100
And I think that's a huge distinction to make, because when you talk about ownership, you're
00:51:13.740
not saying, oh, it's my fault and I'm going to beat myself up and I'm just going to feel
00:51:19.040
guilty and just wallow in self-pity for the rest of my life.
00:51:21.580
No, you're saying, okay, my actions had consequences.
00:51:26.940
But instead of beating myself up and just going and hanging myself, I'm going to do what
00:51:35.600
Going back to the happiness, like how often you're happy versus how often like you're
00:51:41.520
One of my favorite analogies is baseball, like going to bat 10 out of 10 times.
00:51:47.500
If you get three hits, you can make a fucking career off that.
00:51:50.160
And do you think that they're not, do you think that they're pissed off the fucking six, you
00:51:59.120
Like you strike out six or seven times in a row and you'll be pissed.
00:52:04.860
There's, you can be dissatisfied and restless under the umbrella of still being happy.
00:52:18.980
And underneath that giant umbrella, there could be a little sections of restlessness and frustration.
00:52:26.160
And I think that is what people mistake a lot of times.
00:52:29.300
You know, they have one situation or they have a situation that is ongoing.
00:52:33.380
Like, you know, they have this person at work that they've got to deal with and it's frustrating
00:52:38.860
And every day they go to work, they got to blah, blah, blah.
00:52:44.760
You hate this one aspect of your job and you're not doing anything to correct it.
00:52:51.600
And you have to fucking, you have to realize that just because you have one situation in
00:52:58.380
Just because you have 10 situations doesn't mean you're unhappy.
00:53:17.140
If you look over the course of the history, the things that philosophers and all the smart
00:53:22.020
people in the world say that human beings hunger for, it's truth, goodness, and beauty.
00:53:25.940
And in popular terms, that means you want to be your truth.
00:53:35.760
You want to be doing good in the world, doing the right thing.
00:53:38.180
And beauty, you want to be considered an attractive person.
00:53:40.500
And that's not necessarily physically attractive.
00:53:43.420
It just means somebody that people like and admire.
00:53:47.300
I think those are ultimately the things that we should be seeking for.
00:53:51.020
Because as you've said, as much as you like the Lamborghinis and the nice stuff, what Ed
00:53:59.940
There's nothing that is as cool as you thought it was going to be.
00:54:03.060
So focusing on those core fundamental things that every human being struggles to hunger
00:54:09.320
for, truth, goodness, and beauty, being your authentic self, being a good person,
00:54:13.940
and really seeking to be somebody who's truly admirable for the right reasons, I think
00:54:21.300
And if you do that, if you do, and by the way, that's, I love that.
00:54:25.020
If you do that, what you're saying, you're going to feel, you're not going to confuse
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frustration with other areas of your life as I'm not fulfilling my purpose.
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Most people that say, I don't know what my purpose is.
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The reason they don't know what their purpose is, is because A, they haven't developed any
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B, they're doing something that doesn't involve their real skills, their gifts.
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Or C, they're living an immoral life that's not aligned with their moral code, and they're
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mistaking it as being unfulfilled from the other areas of their life.
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So if you want to have, if you want to feel like you have purpose, you've got to A, do
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something that you're good at, B, do something that you believe in, and C, live in alignment