In this episode, DJ DJ God and I discuss the importance of your past and how it can be used to your advantage in life and business. We also talk about how to leverage your past to propel you forward in your business and career.
00:02:44.180It doesn't tell you what to do or what you're going to be.
00:02:48.440Your past and your past experiences and all the things you've gone through, all the struggles, all the negativities,
00:02:56.500all the lessons that you've learned are there to serve you so that you can move in the direction that you want to go.
00:03:02.980Your past actually has some of maybe the most important purpose out of any of the things that are going on in your life right now.
00:03:15.280Because those are where, you know, all your lessons, all your knowledge, all the things that you would use to get where you want to go come from.
00:03:28.840But the problem is, is that people chain themselves to who they were last year or two years ago or 10 years ago or when they were in high school.
00:03:38.400They identify with that and they feel like, oh, I can't break out of that.
00:03:42.960And because of that, they stay the same.
00:03:47.060And it sounds like you're referring specifically to, like, moral failures and character issues.
00:03:52.900But it's also true, like, in entrepreneurship.
00:03:54.920My brother tried to, you know, years ago, tried to start a franchise with T-Mobile and it failed miserably.
00:04:01.560And, like, he's never forgiven himself for that.
00:04:04.100And so it's not just people being chained to their sort of moral failures, but it's just chained to your past in general, even if it's, like, failures in business.
00:04:14.440Like, dude, if you were made fun of in high school and, like, call fat and loser and this and that, dude, you'll find those people at 35 years old, 40 years old, and they're like, fuck, I'm a fat loser.
00:04:25.240You know, and if you look at them, they are that, but not because other people were right, because they accepted that other people were right.
00:04:35.000So for the average person, looking back at the things that they've done and experienced and their past, what would you say their past is not meant to do?
00:08:21.620What you're talking about, I think, is the difference between regret and restitution, making restitution.
00:08:27.940And there's a whole theory that says that our prison systems are way too crowded because we have the wrong people in prison.
00:08:34.820Instead of just having violent offenders in prison, we have all sorts of people that we're putting in prison hoping that they're going to regret their actions,
00:08:43.680when in reality, we should have a whole system that says, okay, if you go in and you, you know, vandalize some property,
00:08:50.280you should be required to do restitution, meaning you should be required to make up for it somehow,
00:08:56.140or somehow contribute back into society.
00:09:23.520But no, but your point is great, which is that at the end of the day, how you feel, whether you feel like you failed or you screwed up, it doesn't matter.
00:09:30.840You gotta let yourself, yes, and you gotta let yourself off the hook, dude.
00:09:33.700Yeah, let yourself off the hook, and like you said, doing something as restitution helps that.
00:09:37.560Yeah, it does, even if it's not required.
00:09:51.180We all do that, it's part of being human, you know, and these people, you know, they're literally making themselves feel bad, and this is totally human, it's not abnormal,
00:10:36.960And, dude, the reason, you know, the reason I think people get into such a bad spot is because they start saying shit like, I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:45.700And then they start acting like it because that's what they identify with, and guess what?
00:10:49.180Your life's going to go pretty shitty if that's really the way you think.
00:10:55.420The other thing is, you know, not only is it universal, it's just kind of irrational to beat yourself up because it's, like, what's the point?
00:11:04.200I know, we do a lot of irrational shit, though.
00:13:47.580So, like, at 18, you know, you were influenced by these people.
00:13:52.000And, you know, here's what's even worse about that, dude, is that a lot of people's who they decide they are is influenced by people that don't even have their fucking own shit together.
00:14:04.440And the reason it's influenced by those people is because we're related to them and we're taught to respect them.
00:14:10.980And we're taught that they know, right?
00:14:12.980And then you get a couple years later and you realize they don't know shit.
00:14:28.060But, like, so at that time, it's probably time to say, all right, well, all the shit they taught me may or may not be right.
00:14:36.940And to start questioning, right, and to start growing and start realizing that not only were they not right about their own shit, they weren't right about you either.
00:14:47.500And all the bad shit that happened to you, the girls that broke up to you, the business failures, the things you did wrong, all of those things serve you if you let them.
00:14:57.920And I think that's something that most people miss.
00:15:00.680You know, they identify and they feel guilty with who the fuck they are or aren't based off the perception of people that don't even fucking matter in their lives right now.
00:15:15.540So the average person just keeps themselves in the penalty box because they use their past to make themselves feel bad about failures and moral screw-ups.
00:15:25.080So I knew you wanted to get to the point, how should we use our past?
00:15:29.280How do the happiest, most successful people relate to their past?
00:15:34.480Well, first off, they let the past teach them.
00:15:38.520They let the past show them what is right by showing them what is wrong, right?
00:15:44.260You know, you're going to learn more about yourself and the way the world works if you let the lessons come to your brain the way that they should instead of looking at it as emotional shit.
00:16:15.920So just looking at the past, looking at some of the mistakes you made and the errors you committed, not to beat yourself up, but to say, okay, here's how I need to correct myself.
00:16:31.220And the other thing that I would say that I think we all agree on, because I know everybody listening to this podcast is interested in getting better.
00:16:39.060Dude, I look back at my past, and I'm like, fuck, dude, I'm thankful that happened.
00:16:44.820I'm grateful I was that, because it taught me this.
00:16:47.780And now I look back at all the bad things that happened in my life with gratitude, because the lessons that I've learned have helped me become the person that I am today.
00:17:00.900And without all that negative shit, and without all those people that didn't believe in me, and without all those people who did mean things to me,
00:17:07.100and without all the mistakes that I made, I wouldn't know the shit that I know.
00:17:14.080Yeah, dude, I feel like there's just a whole, just massive difference in the way that people look at the past between people who are essentially chronic failures and those who are successful and happy.
00:17:27.460And I was thinking that, like, when people have blessings in their life, and then they lose them, like, faster than they thought they were going to do,
00:17:33.940the average person is like, oh, man, I got gypped.
00:17:38.320I got, I can't believe my, I'm not minimizing this, but I can't believe my dad died when I was just 19.
00:17:44.580But I've met people whose attitude is, man, I was so blessed to have a great dad.
00:17:49.320And it's weird, man, but you and I both are dog lovers.
00:17:53.140Like, I, even something as simple as, like, I had a dog for 13 years that I absolutely love.
00:17:58.320I keep a little picture in my phone, and occasionally I'll just look at it and go, like, he was the best dog to have for 13 years of my life.
00:18:33.000But, I mean, just, I use the example of a dog instead of a person, because I think, I think at the very least, those, those things that people don't think are very significant.
00:18:40.580I'm, I'm thinking about, like, literally, my dog saved my little girl's life.
00:20:00.460And it makes, it does make the, the very important distinction that I think is so important with regard to, and you've said this before in your own life, that you love having nice things, but they don't define you.
00:20:15.720So, if those blessings, if those blessings are all taken out of your life, naked Andy Frisella came in, naked Andy departs, whatever.
00:20:45.640But, you know, I was thinking when you were saying all that stuff, which are all great points, I think most people tend to live in the past.
00:20:54.900And, like, what's funny, and this is a kind of embarrassing story for me to tell.
00:20:59.560But it'll show you the difference between someone who accepts their past and has let them, has taken the lessons and moved on to learn how to be better at what someone does versus someone who lives in the past.
00:21:16.860Dude, I was walking out of one of the restaurants I go to here in St. Louis, and I had a group of friends, or I had a group of people stop me.
00:21:28.380And, like, they grabbed my arm, and I looked at them.
00:21:30.820I didn't fucking recognize any of them.
00:21:32.220It took me, like, literally, like, eight, full ten seconds to realize, like, that this was the group of people that I was hanging out with every weekend in fucking high school.
00:23:50.880I think we covered some pretty good stuff.
00:23:52.440I think if you guys take this and start applying this, you're going to find that it moves you ahead at a very, very fast rate.
00:24:00.180And I can tell you for sure that you will be happier because when you're happy about where you're going, excited about where you're going, it's always better than after you've been there.