REAL AF with Andy Frisella - March 01, 2018


Tell The F＊cking Truth, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO218


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

172.66429

Word Count

2,559

Sentence Count

197

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

1


Summary

In this episode, I talk about how important it is to be a good leader and a good manager, and how you need to learn how to tell the truth about what you're doing and why it's important to be able to tell people the truth.


Transcript

00:00:00.400 I can stack them hunts to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.
00:00:04.880 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.
00:00:12.660 What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host, and I am the motherfucking CEO.
00:00:19.580 Today is Thursday Thunder. I'm excited. I have something that I want to get off my chest, and I'm going to hit you right in the face with it.
00:00:28.420 But here's the deal, guys. I talked about in a previous podcast that you need basically two skills to move forward if you want to become an integral part of a company or if you want to become the master of a company, the CEO, an executive, a high-paid part of an organization, or if you want to build your own company and run an effective team.
00:00:54.540 There's two things that you have to become a master of. Two. One is you have to become a great leader, and you have to become a great manager of people.
00:01:05.840 Those are skills that you have to learn. They are not gifts. A lot of people think leadership and management is a gift. They see people who make it look easy, but let me assure you that learning the skill of management and learning the skill of being a great leader is one of the most difficult tasks that you will ever embark on.
00:01:30.980 And to become a master, it's going to take a lifetime. The other skill is you have to learn how to sell, okay?
00:01:38.520 Today, I want to talk about one component of the first part of it, being a manager and being a leader.
00:01:44.780 Because if you can't develop those skills, there is no chance that you will earn a great living. There is no chance that you will kick ass at your job, in your company, okay?
00:01:58.760 Maybe you're a surgeon. Maybe you're a successful lawyer. Let me tell you something.
00:02:04.920 There's still business sides to those professions that are going to need management and leadership skills.
00:02:12.460 So, a lot of you guys message me, and a lot of you guys tell me, and to be really frank, you talk a lot of shit.
00:02:24.680 You say things to me like, dude, one day I'm going to be up on that stage with you, or one day I'm going to drive a Lamborghini, or one day I'm going to blah, blah, blah.
00:02:32.960 And you know what? I hope you do. That's why I do all this stuff. That's why I put out this podcast.
00:02:38.500 That's why I, you know, give my time to this mission. And that's why I look at this as a mission.
00:02:44.100 Because I do care about you, and I want you to succeed. And that's also why I'm about to tell you the truth.
00:02:50.020 And the truth is, what's going to hold you back is your inability and your lack of capacity to tell people the truth.
00:03:02.380 Constantly, day in and day out, you have opportunities to tell people the truth, and you don't.
00:03:13.620 You brush it aside. You don't say what you mean. You buffer it because you're afraid of offending someone, or you're afraid of hurting their feelings, or you're afraid of some other thing.
00:03:26.300 You have some other hang-up that you just can't get over. Okay? And until you understand that part of being a great leader, and part of being a great manager,
00:03:38.240 is telling people the unbiased truth about the job that they're doing, you will never be a quote-unquote successful financial person.
00:03:49.760 It will never fucking happen. Okay? You get many opportunities throughout the day to practice this.
00:03:56.840 When your girlfriend or wife says, what do you think of this? And you say, oh, it's okay.
00:04:01.420 When you mean it looks like shit, that's an opportunity wasted to practice this skill.
00:04:08.000 And I get it, right? It's uncomfortable to tell the truth sometimes.
00:04:11.700 Because some people are incapable of seeing the truth about themselves.
00:04:15.020 So, when they ask you for an opinion, and the answer should be obvious to you, it's not always obvious.
00:04:21.440 A lot of people lack self-awareness.
00:04:23.860 Meaning, they can't see themselves the way the world sees them.
00:04:29.840 So, when they ask for feedback, and you're thinking in your head, well, no shit that looks terrible.
00:04:38.000 Well, they don't understand that.
00:04:40.200 Because they lack the perspective to observe themselves.
00:04:42.720 They might truly think that it looks good.
00:04:46.940 They might truly think that it's something they should do.
00:04:49.560 When someone asks you for advice, or asks you how their meal tastes, or asks you this or that.
00:04:54.280 How many times a day do you fucking lie to save somebody's feelings?
00:05:00.640 Being direct and learning how to tell someone the truth is not only the right thing to do.
00:05:07.140 It's an essential skill that you have to master.
00:05:09.560 And it's something that's uncomfortable.
00:05:13.240 You have to be able to look at someone and coach them.
00:05:17.400 And a good coach, let's take Bill Belichick, for example.
00:05:21.060 Do you think when someone comes off the field and they did a shitty job that he says,
00:05:25.360 Hey man, you know, you could have done a little better there.
00:05:29.120 Because, you know, you cut that route at 8 yards instead of 10 yards.
00:05:36.500 And, you know, next time try to do a little better.
00:05:38.460 No.
00:05:39.440 He says, what the fuck are you doing running an 8-yard route when we've practiced 10-yard routes all fucking year?
00:05:47.740 Okay?
00:05:48.620 How that person reacts, that's on them.
00:05:51.400 That's their character.
00:05:53.140 Okay?
00:05:53.480 They might get their feelings hurt.
00:05:55.540 They might get upset.
00:05:57.040 But here's the truth.
00:05:58.560 Did you tell them the facts?
00:06:01.200 Did you give them some feedback that they could possibly use to improve?
00:06:07.400 Yes.
00:06:08.540 And your lack of capacity and ability to do that
00:06:12.200 is what's going to keep you in the mediocre zone of life.
00:06:16.760 You have to understand that you are the coach of your team.
00:06:22.900 And right now, you may not have a team.
00:06:25.100 But you can practice being a leader by being the coach of the people around you.
00:06:30.360 Stop lying.
00:06:32.140 Stop softening it.
00:06:33.600 You don't have to be rude.
00:06:35.200 You just be direct.
00:06:36.560 And when someone says to you,
00:06:38.060 Well, you're being mean to me or you're attacking me or you're being negative.
00:06:41.660 Simply explain to them.
00:06:43.560 I'm not being negative.
00:06:45.000 I'm not being mean.
00:06:46.060 If you take it that way,
00:06:47.740 I understand that's not my problem.
00:06:50.880 I want you to know the truth because I fucking care about you.
00:06:54.140 And I want you to do better.
00:06:56.480 And you can do better.
00:06:58.920 Okay?
00:06:59.480 People respect that.
00:07:01.200 A lot of you guys think you have to go around and hurt people's feelings and be a jerk.
00:07:04.860 That's not what I'm saying.
00:07:06.780 What I'm saying is that when people do a good job,
00:07:09.580 you tell them they did a good job.
00:07:11.040 When people do a bad job,
00:07:12.320 you tell them they did a bad job.
00:07:13.680 You know,
00:07:14.580 a lot of people fail in life because nobody around them will tell them that they can improve this way or that they did this that way.
00:07:23.580 Okay?
00:07:25.260 That's why you see people who surround themselves with yes men fail in life.
00:07:30.440 I purposely surround myself with people that will tell me the truth.
00:07:36.260 My right-hand guy in these companies, Jason Kane, he tells me the truth.
00:07:41.080 My business partner, Chris Klein, he tells me the truth.
00:07:44.840 My brother, Sal, who runs First Form day-to-day, he tells me the truth.
00:07:49.980 We're not mean to each other.
00:07:51.660 We respect each other.
00:07:53.180 And if you're trying to make an impact and you're trying to learn how to make more money and you're trying to be more valuable,
00:08:01.960 if you can't tell someone the truth,
00:08:05.580 you will never make it in business.
00:08:09.080 All these people, look around you.
00:08:13.080 Look how much they lie.
00:08:14.660 Look how much they fucking lie to people about stupid shit.
00:08:19.360 Okay?
00:08:19.900 And you're probably thinking, well, nobody will like me if I tell them the truth.
00:08:22.860 If I tell people what I'm really thinking.
00:08:25.200 No, that's actually the opposite.
00:08:27.720 Because I tell everybody the truth and I happen to have a pretty good fucking culture in my company.
00:08:34.480 If you're doing bad, I'm going to tell you.
00:08:36.040 If you're doing good, I'm going to tell you that too.
00:08:39.380 But my guys count on me to tell the truth and that's my job.
00:08:43.780 And you guys have to understand that this doesn't start at the top.
00:08:50.020 You can't get to the top without that skill.
00:08:53.700 And yes, people are going to be upset.
00:08:56.160 Yes, people are going to get their feelings hurt.
00:08:58.540 Yes, people are going to get angry with you sometimes.
00:09:00.960 But give them some time to think about what you said.
00:09:04.060 Give them some time to absorb the feedback you gave.
00:09:06.640 And make sure that they understand that you care about them when you're telling them the truth.
00:09:12.700 Because that's what's going to help them get better.
00:09:14.900 And if your team can't get better because you're constantly buffering shit.
00:09:18.420 You're constantly sweeping under the rug things that should be said.
00:09:22.620 Then you're not just hurting yourself.
00:09:24.480 You're hurting them too.
00:09:25.540 And that's morally wrong.
00:09:26.780 Being nice is not telling people, oh, you're so good at this and you're so great and I love you so much and blah, blah, blah.
00:09:35.600 And you're, you know, when they're out there doing half-ass work and they're doing half-ass effort and half-ass execution.
00:09:42.840 And they're doing things that are hurting themselves and their families.
00:09:46.720 That's not nice.
00:09:48.380 That's not nice is saying, hey man, I fucking care about you enough about your family to tell you the truth and why you're struggling at this task.
00:09:58.280 And you know where this stems from?
00:10:00.200 You know why you have a problem telling the truth?
00:10:03.840 Two reasons.
00:10:04.900 One, it's not socially acceptable because people consider it rude.
00:10:08.080 And two, you're not doing the shit yourself.
00:10:12.800 You're not holding yourself to a high standard.
00:10:15.540 You're not doing the things that you see the other person doing and know it's wrong so you feel uncomfortable confronting them on that.
00:10:24.100 If you're the leader of a team and let's say you've got four or five guys and you're not doing the shit that they're supposed to be doing,
00:10:31.000 who are you to go tell them that they're fucking up?
00:10:34.680 You've got to hold yourself to the truth as well.
00:10:38.740 And holding yourself to the truth takes integrity, it takes discipline, and most importantly, it takes self-awareness.
00:10:46.100 You have to be able to observe yourself from the outside perspective and see yourself as the world sees you.
00:10:53.800 And hold yourself to the standard that you expect other people to be at.
00:10:58.140 Telling the truth is not as easy as just saying, tell the truth.
00:11:03.680 Because all of you guys are thinking, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:06.380 But you're also the motherfuckers that won't do any of the shit that I'm telling you.
00:11:09.520 You have to practice telling the truth.
00:11:13.740 You have to be honest and you have to be direct.
00:11:17.400 And being a person who is suggestive or who is, you know, passive.
00:11:23.320 You know, if you're in a group of peers and you've got four or five of them complaining about something and you know in your heart that what they're saying is wrong and you don't stand up and say, hey, I think you guys are wrong.
00:11:38.380 And then lay out the points of why you're wrong, you're just as part, you're just as guilty as they are.
00:11:43.940 You're as big of a part of the problem as they are.
00:11:46.700 You know, here in my company, I have a no cancer policy.
00:11:50.340 No cancer.
00:11:51.740 And what's that mean?
00:11:53.080 That means if I got a fucking cancer, I cut it out.
00:11:56.140 And what's a cancer?
00:11:57.340 A cancer is someone who goes around and fucking bitches and moans and complains to everybody else around and they spoil the culture.
00:12:05.380 And that's why I call it a cancer because it spreads, it spreads, it spreads.
00:12:09.160 Now, a lot of people say, well, you don't like feedback.
00:12:12.160 No, that's not true.
00:12:13.060 I love feedback.
00:12:13.960 I love feedback that's appropriate.
00:12:15.860 If someone comes to me and has a conversation and we're able to speak face to face or directly, respect.
00:12:22.740 That takes balls.
00:12:24.560 That takes courage.
00:12:26.940 I understand that.
00:12:29.660 Every leader understands that.
00:12:31.600 There's going to be issues.
00:12:33.040 There's going to be things that need to be talked about.
00:12:35.820 But if you're the kind of person that goes and gossips around and talks to all the other people and starts like creating a bunch of shit, you're the cancer and you're getting fucking cut out.
00:12:44.940 And that's the way it goes.
00:12:46.620 That's how it goes here and that's how it goes at all great companies that have good culture.
00:12:50.100 And if you want to have good culture, I suggest you learn how to identify and remove cancer as well.
00:12:54.920 Now, the way I do that is I let everybody know, like if you have a direct issue, if you have a complaint, I don't care what it is, you come to the appropriate channel and we'll handle it.
00:13:06.100 But if I catch you gossiping, if I catch you, you know, speaking negatively, if I catch you doing all these things and spreading cancer, you don't belong here.
00:13:14.620 That's not part of our core.
00:13:15.680 OK, so you have to be aware of this and you have to tell those people the truth.
00:13:21.100 All right.
00:13:22.940 If you're not standing up when you're in that and we all know people like this, like at your work right now, wherever you work, you have people who complain and bitch that you don't agree with.
00:13:32.960 Maybe you're even the one that's complaining and bitching.
00:13:35.060 And if you are, I hope you'll think about this.
00:13:38.620 But let's say you're not.
00:13:39.740 Let's say there's three or four or 10 other people that are bitching and moaning and complaining.
00:13:43.860 And you're standing there thinking like, man, I don't agree with these motherfuckers.
00:13:48.600 I don't agree with what they're saying.
00:13:49.720 I don't agree.
00:13:50.580 I don't I don't think it's right.
00:13:52.020 And you don't set them straight and you don't stand up for yourself and you don't do that.
00:13:56.320 You're part of the problem.
00:13:58.720 Because you're passive about it.
00:14:00.920 That's a great opportunity for you to become a leader.
00:14:03.740 That's a great opportunity for you to earn respect.
00:14:07.080 And at first, people will, you know, shit on you for it.
00:14:10.220 They'll they'll look at you and they'll say, oh, you're blah, blah, blah.
00:14:13.280 But the truth is, is that they respect you for it and they know they can't bullshit you.
00:14:17.240 That's a great spot to start being a leader.
00:14:21.920 OK, leadership is a lifetime commitment.
00:14:25.300 Most people that I know that run businesses are terrible leaders, terrible, terrible leaders because they can't tell the truth.
00:14:33.040 Learn to be direct, learn to tell the truth, learn to make people understand that you're telling them the truth because you care about them and learn to stand up for what's right.
00:14:43.040 And you're going to have a much more lucrative business career.
00:14:48.220 I promise you that.