REAL AF with Andy Frisella - The Top 5 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety in Sales, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO225

00:00:00.380 I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.

00:00:04.880 Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.

00:00:12.700 What is up, guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host,

00:00:17.280 and I am the motherfucking CEO. Today, we're going to talk about sales, which is something

00:00:22.880 that you have to learn. It's one of the key skills that we talk about as having to learn

00:00:29.200 to break into and beyond six-figure income, all right? And the other two are leadership

00:00:35.100 and management. We talk about this in past podcasts. Vaughn could throw the notes up in

00:00:40.340 the description. But we're going to cover five practical steps that I think hold people back

00:00:49.580 from becoming great salespeople that all have to do with social anxiety. Most people cannot

00:00:55.380 get through the first call, the first five calls that they're going to make, and they decide that

00:01:02.960 sales isn't for them. And the thing that you have to understand is that if everybody quit the first

00:01:07.760 five calls, there will be no great salespeople, okay? Now, with that being said, you're going to

00:01:13.060 hear people say things like, oh, you got to do hard clothes, and you got to do this, and you got,

00:01:17.520 there's a lot of old school bullshit, not applicable strategies when it comes to sales. You know,

00:01:25.960 you're going to hear people say you got to call people until they give in. You got to this, that,

00:01:29.640 the other. I disagree 100%. The key to sales is making sure that you build so much value with what

00:01:39.460 you're delivering that it's not even sales, it's a recommendation. And when you can make it a

00:01:44.360 recommendation, they are going to buy. You don't have to close them. They're going to close you,

00:01:49.060 and that's the way it goes. We're going to get more in-depth with that as we go, but that's the

00:01:52.620 gist of what we're going to talk about. Five ways to overcome social anxiety in sales and in life,

00:01:58.520 because, dude, the reality is, is when you get good at sales, other areas of your life improve as well.

00:02:03.940 As always, I'm joined by my co-host, Vaughn the Impaler, the pastor of Disaster. What's up, dude?

00:02:10.360 I'm doing good, man. I'm hoping before you hit those five key ways to overcome social anxiety in

00:02:18.180 sales, I'm hoping kind of in the process of that, you're going to actually share

00:02:21.280 your own personal development from the time you started. Because I know you've told people a lot

00:02:27.340 of times that one of the main misunderstandings that people have about you is thinking that you're

00:02:32.500 this super outgoing people person by nature. Yeah. I'm not. People don't realize that I'm

00:02:40.800 an introvert by nature. I really don't like being around people. I really don't like interacting with

00:02:44.560 people. But the good thing about that is that it's a learned skill. People will hear me speak. They

00:02:50.920 see me in action. They see what I do, and they think, oh, man, he's got this natural ability,

00:02:54.740 and I don't. That's stuff that I've had to learn. The first time I had to go around and try to sell

00:03:01.060 things, when I was a little kid, I was scared shitless. But the reality of it was is that

00:03:06.320 I wanted the reward more than I was scared shitless of what I had to do to get it.

00:03:11.300 And I've always been that way. So, you know, it comes down to what do you want more? Do you want

00:03:15.500 to be scared? Is that more important to you to not embarrass yourself? Because you're going to.

00:03:19.520 You're going to embarrass yourself. You're going to do things that are, you know, goofy and weird,

00:03:26.120 and you're going to put your foot in your mouth, and you're going to fuck up. 0.97

00:03:28.960 Or do you want the reward? And I was just always willing to go, you know, through whatever I had

00:03:34.680 to do to get the reward. That seems to be a definite similarity in every successful person

00:03:41.260 is that they're willing to do something badly until they master it. Yeah. And, you know, the point,

00:03:47.020 you know, to me now, I enjoy being bad at things now because it allows me to go through the process

00:03:56.380 of learning. And I think the process of learning is contagious. I think if you could teach yourself

00:04:01.660 to be a good student, to be a good learner, it becomes something that you crave in all areas.

00:04:07.200 So like being bad at something. Yeah. When I was young and immature, it was something that I was

00:04:12.480 afraid of, but now it's something I enjoy because I'm, I like learning new things. I see it as a

00:04:16.900 challenge. And when it's something's a challenge for me, it actually is a mental break from the day to

00:04:21.860 day to day things that I have to do to run my company. So, um, you know, I like, I like being

00:04:28.840 challenged in that way now, but you know, some people never get to that point.

00:04:33.020 So in terms of social anxiety, um, in your experience, what are, what are some main reasons

00:04:39.520 that people are nervous, not at ease, uh, that maybe don't have anything to do with them per se,

00:04:48.200 but maybe, well, let me start over. What are some just basic reasons that people might be anxious

00:04:53.720 that should not be true of them? Like, well, go ahead.

00:04:59.360 Well, dude, the number one thing, the number one thing that holds salespeople back that keeps them

00:05:03.880 from being effective is that they're not selling a product or service that they truly believe in

00:05:08.440 from a moral standpoint. Okay. They feel slimy. They feel snaky. They feel like, um, you know,

00:05:15.080 that they're some sort of like slick back, you know, sales guy trying to like trick somebody into

00:05:21.520 buying something. But the truth of it is, is that, you know, even though for the last hundred years,

00:05:27.880 um, up until about 10 years ago, that's what sales was, right? There was no repercussions,

00:05:35.080 uh, from social media or review sites or the general population, they had no repercussions. So

00:05:41.900 there was a lot of people out there that had slick sales techniques that were selling shit that

00:05:46.720 wasn't any good. And there's a lot of people who haven't started to understand that that shit

00:05:51.520 doesn't work now. Okay. Um, so if you're feeling bad about what you're selling and if you're scared

00:05:58.220 about what you're selling, if you're having anxiety about what you're selling, there's a good

00:06:02.380 likelihood that you truly don't believe in your heart that it's benefiting the people that you're

00:06:06.120 selling, which is twofold bad. One, you're not gonna be able to sell it. You're going to feel

00:06:10.080 nervous every time you talk to somebody about it. Cause you know, it's not the right thing. And

00:06:13.020 two, if it doesn't deliver what you say it's going to deliver, and it's not the quality you say it is,

00:06:18.760 you're going to ruin your reputation by, by even selling that stuff. So if you're feeling nervous

00:06:24.360 about selling and it's because you know that the product isn't doing what it's supposed to do,

00:06:30.460 or it doesn't serve the purpose that it's supposed to serve, you shouldn't be selling it.

00:06:33.720 Cause not only will it ruin, uh, not only will it be totally, uh, torturous to go through,

00:06:40.500 but, um, you're going to ruin your own reputation by being associated with that product anyway.

00:06:47.160 Yeah. I mean, what would you tell somebody who was, who was like, Andy, I totally get it, but

00:06:51.540 I need a job. So I took this job. I think the product's crap, but I need to, you know,

00:06:58.380 I need to pay the bills. Look, man, there's plenty of jobs out there. That's the truth.

00:07:02.380 And if you look, you know, if you look in the area of stuff that you believe in,

00:07:06.020 the things that you believe in at your core, you're going to find opportunities there.

00:07:09.280 Yeah. You know, that's just the truth. And you know, people will argue with that. Oh,

00:07:12.680 there's not opportunities. There's not this, there's not that bullshit. There is,

00:07:15.940 there's a lot of them. You're just not, you're taking the first thing that you can,

00:07:19.660 you know, gets offered to you and you're not working to put value into something that, uh,

00:07:25.080 that you want to be doing that you believe in. And that's, that's the essential,

00:07:28.100 you know, core problem. You know, you have a lot of people out there and this is really the

00:07:32.360 second reason why people have problems selling a product services because they're not actual

00:07:36.400 customers of what they're selling. You know, for you to truly believe in something, you have to be

00:07:42.100 represent, you have to be representative of what that product is about. You know, there's that old

00:07:47.980 saying like for the hair club for men or something where the guy's like, I'm not only, uh, the president,

00:07:53.100 I'm also a client. And as funny as that is, and we all hear that the truth of it is, is that's,

00:07:57.960 that's how it should be. It's actually brilliant. Yes. Like you should be using your company's

00:08:02.400 products in some way or form because you love them, not because you're told that you have to

00:08:07.660 use them. Okay. So what I would recommend for the person you said who needs to get a job is

00:08:12.660 look at what you love, look at what you have passion for, look at what you're into from a

00:08:17.440 product standpoint, figure out how you can get yourself in a position to be selling that

00:08:21.660 because you're by default going to be much more effective and much more enthusiastic and much

00:08:26.920 more successful dollars and cents wise than you would be selling something that you don't use or

00:08:31.960 don't believe in. It's just, it's just reality. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I was, I was working

00:08:37.000 in here in the conference room and Jarrett was on a phone call with a potential, I guess, independent

00:08:41.400 rapper or whatever. Yeah. And, uh, the conversation got a little awkward at one point in which he said,

00:08:46.860 uh, you know, well, what, what's your favorite, uh, what's your favorite first form product? And

00:08:51.140 the guy's like, well, I know they're, I know they're quality products. Yeah. You're not getting

00:08:54.880 hired, bro. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, well, no, but do you use them? And he explained that that's,

00:08:59.880 that's what we're about. We're not just about the objective quality. We, we want everybody involved

00:09:04.160 in us to love the product. Right. Use it. Yep. And that's a big thing for our company. We don't bring

00:09:08.780 in people that don't actually use our products. Well, how can you be enthusiastic about

00:09:12.580 something that you're not, you can fake it, but eventually you can,

00:09:16.780 some people can fake it to a point, but the truth of it is, is that once they go up with

00:09:20.840 someone with true conviction and true belief, they get stopped. You know what I mean? So it's

00:09:24.460 very, very important to be genuine. And that comes to my, you know, my, these three points

00:09:29.100 kind of all go together is, you know, one, you're not selling a product or service that

00:09:34.740 you truly believe in to, you're not selling a product or service that you use yourself. And

00:09:38.620 three, you're not selling from a place of integrity. Okay. If you know that the product

00:09:45.080 or service is the best product or service in that space, you believe in it, you use

00:09:51.500 it. You are going to have zero anxiety talking to other people about it. Okay. That's where

00:09:57.960 people mess up. They're foundationally fucked when it comes to what they pick and choose to

00:10:03.060 actually sell. If you work for a company and you don't believe in the company, you should

00:10:07.940 not be working there. You're going to automatically struggle at sales because we as humans want to

00:10:14.700 do the right thing. We have an essential need to do the right thing. And yes, there's people out

00:10:20.020 there that are snakes and slime and this, and they become good talkers of sales. But those people are

00:10:26.280 only good when there's somebody that's not around that actually believes in the product they're

00:10:32.080 selling, right? When you stand them alone, they sound real good. Put them next to somebody who has

00:10:36.460 real passion and is selling from a place of integrity. And the person with the passion and

00:10:41.380 integrity is going to take them to school. It's just the way it goes.

00:10:46.000 Let me throw in a little question because I know people are going to ask this. What about the guy,

00:10:50.300 and it sounds like I'm trying to be funny. I'm really not. But what about the guy who says,

00:10:54.220 Andy, I totally get what you're saying, but here's the deal. I am in the mortuary business

00:10:59.900 and I sell tombstones for a living. Like literally, I sell tombstones. Like I don't have any personal

00:11:04.700 experience. I can't benefit personally from tombstones. So how would you translate that into an

00:11:10.560 industry where it's not like something you can personally sample, you know?

00:11:14.880 What are you talking about?

00:11:16.240 Okay. So you were saying like in your industry, you say, if you don't use the product yourself,

00:11:22.300 you have to look to find the benefit then.

00:11:24.580 That's what I'm talking about.

00:11:25.100 So then you're going to have to dig and find what the benefit is where, you know,

00:11:29.860 you look at the product and you say, all right, this is a quality product. These people are doing

00:11:35.600 great work. They're doing a great service for people. They're making people feel good in the best

00:11:40.220 possible situation and they're doing it the right way. So then you can honestly look at it. And

00:11:44.900 even though you might not have used the product yourself, you're coming from a place of true

00:11:48.840 belief and true integrity.

00:11:50.000 Personal connection.

00:11:50.460 Yes.

00:11:50.820 Gotcha. Gotcha. Makes sense.

00:11:53.540 Yeah. I don't know what the fuck you're even asking, dude. I guess that's a good question. I don't

00:11:57.760 know. But, you know, I think the biggest thing, man, is that people got to understand one,

00:12:04.280 you have to be coming from the right place, no matter what you got to believe you've got to be

00:12:08.580 using the product. Okay. For the most part, 99.9% of that's going to cure most of the anxiety that

00:12:16.700 you're going to have with sales. But I think that even deeper than that, I think the biggest problem

00:12:22.260 that we have as people who are trying to learn sales is that we look at other people and think

00:12:27.400 that they have a natural ability to be extroverted and charismatic about sales. And let me tell you

00:12:34.960 something. I'm not a natural extrovert. Okay. So like success for me has very little to do with being

00:12:41.860 naturally outgoing. I get social anxiety. I don't like being around crowds. I hate taking pictures. I don't

00:12:47.580 like all that shit. Like that shit fucking drives me crazy. I know that it's necessary. So I do it right.

00:12:55.700 And I do it happily because I'm trying to make people happy. But dude, it doesn't mean I like it or it's

00:12:59.840 natural for me. It's a skill that I've had to learn. And I think there's so many people, and I made a post

00:13:04.920 about this the other day regarding people who are out there slash gurus who are trying to make

00:13:11.660 themselves look as if they're so much naturally more skilled than anybody else out there. You know,

00:13:18.740 I've got this special hustle. I've got this special gift. I've got this special charisma. I've got this

00:13:23.920 special skill of sales, this, that, the other, because their own ego is so fucking fragile that 0.81

00:13:30.960 they need to make other people indirectly feel like shit to make them feel like they're better.

00:13:36.220 And dude, that's fucked up because I could tell you, dude, everybody out there struggles with this

00:13:41.540 shit at some point. Are there some people who pick it up better than others? Absolutely. But there's

00:13:46.360 nobody out there that has such a great gift to become a really good salesperson that didn't practice

00:13:52.620 their fucking ass off, that didn't make the calls, that didn't take the reps. And that issue with 0.89

00:13:58.900 people trying to pretend like they just came out of the womb that way is making other entrepreneurs,

00:14:05.020 especially people who are new to the game, feel like they're not in the right spot. And that bothers

00:14:09.360 me on a moral level. I don't think that's right. You know what I'm saying? 100%. I saw the other day

00:14:14.540 one of these gurus had posted something about nothing ever gets me down. And like literally I'm reading

00:14:19.320 this going seriously. Okay. You're either one, you're lying. He is lying. Or two, I don't even

00:14:23.740 know who you're talking about, but they're lying. Well, okay. But just playing devil's advocate or

00:14:26.840 two, let's say by some freak of nature, like he's too dumb to, let's say just, he just doesn't have

00:14:32.320 the intelligence to even be down. My thing is, what does it possibly benefit other people to tell

00:14:37.860 them that? Doesn't, it hurts them. Right. Right. So like, but that's, that's what social media is.

00:14:43.720 Social media is fucking smoke and mirrors to make certain people look like they have more skills than

00:14:47.600 certain other people so that you can somehow get, so people can herd the sheep together and get them

00:14:53.500 to buy their shit. And dude, that's what it's about. You know what I'm saying? It's fucked up.

00:14:57.900 And uh, so, so you were saying that you're not a natural extrovert, but what if somebody says,

00:15:01.780 yeah, but Andy, you are a ninja with words and, and you're like, yeah, but how many fucking 0.93

00:15:07.400 dude, I used to give sales talks to six people whenever we had our, you know, our, we first started

00:15:13.140 doing meetings. I'd get deathly nervous to talk to six people. I'd be holding my notes and I'd be,

00:15:19.260 they'd be shaking in my hand and I'd be terrified. Okay, dude, now I'm going out in front of 15,000

00:15:27.200 people and fucking, I don't even need notes and I don't have any one bit of nervousness. It's just,

00:15:33.040 it's practice, man. It's, it's, it's understanding the product, understanding what you're selling,

00:15:40.880 knowing the product, believing in the product and having repetitions, whatever you're trying to do.

00:15:46.380 And you're eventually that anxiety and all that's going to fade away. It's just going to be something

00:15:50.000 that you're talking about. So there's no need to be born with some natural eloquence.

00:15:53.640 There's no such thing. There's no such thing, man. And like other things too, is people think that,

00:15:58.080 you know, to be, to be great at sales, they have to be super well polished. I see, go to lunch,

00:16:03.580 go to any big city around lunchtime and you see all these dudes in suits and shit,

00:16:08.060 you know, and they speak a certain way and talk a certain way and this, that, the other.

00:16:12.140 The funny thing is, is that those people aren't as well received as somebody who's super authentic,

00:16:19.060 right? Somebody who is just who they are. They're telling the truth. You could tell they're telling

00:16:22.400 the truth and they don't have to be polished. They don't have to wear a suit. They don't have to

00:16:26.580 say things the most politically correct way. They just, you just know they're telling the truth

00:16:32.060 because the authenticity is oozing out of them. You know what I mean? And that's the most important

00:16:36.340 sales skill because for people to want to buy from you, they've got to trust you and authenticity

00:16:41.200 creates trust automatically. So you have to understand that, you know, when you try to

00:16:46.420 polish up who you are and make it more polished than what you really are, you're really going to,

00:16:51.360 you're really taking back the authenticity of what somebody is going to pick up on and you're

00:16:56.080 removing and slowing down the sales process because without trust, there is no sale.

00:17:01.720 So if it takes somebody longer to trust you because you're polishing yourself up,

00:17:06.680 you're actually doing yourself a disservice. You understand?

00:17:10.540 Makes sense.

00:17:11.140 But the problem, the problem with that is, is that people are going to hear that and they're

00:17:14.160 going to think that you need to go like drop the F bomb and this and that. That's not it,

00:17:18.220 dude. You just have to be who you are. You know what I mean? Being authentic is not saying the word

00:17:22.140 fuck. That's what people think it is. You know, they hear, they hear people talk about authenticity,

00:17:26.800 including me. And they think, Oh, well then I got a curse and I got, no, it has nothing to do with

00:17:31.580 that. That's just exactly how I am. It's about finding who you are and being that and presenting

00:17:37.560 things in a real world way. You know? Absolutely. It's, it's whatever thought is in your brain,

00:17:44.400 express it like it's in your brain. Don't express it like people, like you think people want to hear

00:17:49.620 it. Right. And that's where people screw up and then they cut all their words come out jumbled and

00:17:55.040 weird. You know, what gets me is like, you go to like, you go to a sales conference and they break

00:17:59.760 down the sales, like the, the opening, the pitch, the, the clothes, this, that, the other dude, look,

00:18:05.560 man, you don't need that shit anymore. All you got to do is be real and have a real product and talk

00:18:11.960 to people about it. You know? So basically the myths are one that you have to be an extrovert.

00:18:18.300 You got to be like naturally energized by people to, I think you said a myth is that you have to be super

00:18:24.380 well polished and eloquent. And yeah. And the other thing is, dude, the other thing is, is that

00:18:28.360 dude, people think that, that if you're a great salesman, that you're some kind of greedy, money,

00:18:33.460 hungry motherfucker. And that's not true, dude. I did not make any money the first 10 years in

00:18:38.860 business. You know why? Because I was worried about how much I was selling. I was worried about

00:18:44.700 selling as much possible product as I could. And I was constantly sell, sell, sell, sell, sell.

00:18:50.800 And when I decided, I went through this weird phase where we weren't making any money. And I was like

00:18:59.080 10 years into our, our company and we weren't making any money. It was kind of like a soul

00:19:04.580 searching make or break situation where I, I needed to know, like, am I going to keep doing this or am I

00:19:12.360 going to move on to do something else? And, you know, I always wanted to make a lot of money growing

00:19:17.620 up. I've talked about that a lot here on the podcast, but I wasn't making it. And, uh, I got

00:19:22.460 to a point where I was like, you know, I've got to figure out either something to do cause I'm never

00:19:29.700 going to get where I want to go. Or I've just got to, I've got to, you know, just think about what I

00:19:34.420 like about this job. And I've looked at all these other things possibly to do. And I couldn't, I didn't

00:19:38.480 like them. And the reason I didn't like them was because there was literally no chance for me to truly

00:19:43.280 change someone's life. Like, like when somebody would come in to my retail store and buy some

00:19:49.520 vitamins and supplements and I got them on a program and then I would see them three, four,

00:19:53.080 five, six months later, and they would have tears in their eyes explaining how much it meant to them.

00:20:00.360 Like they've lost a hundred pounds or they've lost 50 pounds or they've lost 150 pounds or they've,

00:20:06.120 they've gotten healthier or some, or there, or something changed dramatically in their life.

00:20:10.100 And then they talk about the confidence that was built and the self-esteem that was built and how

00:20:14.440 their life has changed. I couldn't think of anything other than what we do that, that does that. And, um,

00:20:21.940 I decided that I was going to stick with it and I just kind of gave up on money. I kind of like said,

00:20:27.340 you know, I really like cool shit, but you know what? I don't want to, I don't want to lose this

00:20:35.180 aspect of my business. Cause I loved it, you know? And, uh, and so I decided that like,

00:20:41.700 I didn't care if I made money. I decided like, you know what? I don't care if I make any money.

00:20:45.460 What I'm going to do is I'm going to just help as many people as I possibly can. And, uh,

00:20:50.780 I focused on helping people get on the right nutrition program, uh, take the right products

00:20:57.720 and get the best results possible. And I gave all my focus to that, all of it.

00:21:01.240 And a funny thing happened. Um, I started making money. Uh, and for the next five years,

00:21:08.700 I doubled my business every single year in the worst economy, United States history.

00:21:13.360 Okay. All because I flipped the switch in my brain from trying to sell to trying to help

00:21:18.440 and wherever you are in the sales process or whatever it is that you're doing or whatever

00:21:24.580 it is that you're selling. Chances are it provides a real solution. Okay. And that real solution,

00:21:32.080 you probably haven't even really thought about it because you're so focused on selling.

00:21:36.220 And some people are like, well, what is selling someone? Um, you know, what's the,

00:21:41.320 what's the solution of selling someone a new pair of Jordans? Like they don't even play basketball.

00:21:45.920 Well, there is a solution there. They feel fucking cool whenever they, whenever they wear them.

00:21:49.480 Okay. You, the solution does not need to be overthought. You need to think what the solution

00:21:55.180 is and you need to start gearing yourself towards providing that solution, whatever it may be.

00:22:00.040 And if you look hard enough and long enough and start communicating after you found that solution,

00:22:05.560 you're going to find that people are super happy. And what are they going to do when they're super

00:22:10.600 happy? One, they're not going to shop anywhere else. And two, they're going to refer their friends

00:22:13.940 and family to you, which is going to grow your business, which is exactly how we operate. Um,

00:22:19.160 so, you know, I, I believe, and always have believed over the, you know, ever since we started

00:22:26.220 this podcast for sure. But, but long before that, that like that money, you know, while money used to

00:22:32.120 be a, a sign of people who are greedy and, and, um, morally misaligned, it's now become a sign of

00:22:39.980 people who serve and people who help and people who solve the most problems. Because the truth of

00:22:44.700 it is, is if you're greedy and morally misaligned, people are going to find out immediately that we

00:22:48.780 can, we have too much interconnectivity, too much network, too much ability to share information,

00:22:53.820 to be able to pull one over on people, so to speak. So, you know, going about it the wrong way

00:23:02.560 is really just going to shoot your holes in the bottom of your boat quicker. So the real own way to

00:23:07.900 make an empire now is to create situations where people are thrilled, they're satisfied,

00:23:12.480 they're happy with the service, and they're excited about it to spread it to other people.

00:23:16.860 Quoting, or, you know, AKA doing the right thing, you know? And a lot of people can't tie that

00:23:22.040 together when I talk about it because they think I'm like talking some hippie shit, but I'm not,

00:23:26.800 you know? It's really indicative of doing the right thing, how much money you're making.

00:23:30.620 Money is the evidence and byproduct that you're bringing value to the world.

00:23:33.780 Absolutely. No question. And what you do with it is up to you.

00:23:36.760 Whatever. Give it away if you don't like it. I don't care. But how much money you make right now

00:23:41.760 is in direct proportion to how much value, how much problems you're solving, and how much value

00:23:49.580 you're providing. It just is. All right. So let's get down to the nuts and bolts,

00:23:54.680 the tips and tactics. What do we got to do to overcome anxiety? Well, look, I think it's important

00:24:00.220 to note, like again, I said this earlier, but I think it's important for people to understand that

00:24:04.520 feeling anxiety when you first start anything is fucking normal, right? That doesn't mean you

00:24:10.860 weren't born for it. Like anytime you do anything new, you're going to feel anxious. You're going

00:24:16.140 to feel frustrated. You're going to feel scared and you're probably going to suck at it. And for that

00:24:22.680 reason, especially when it comes to sales, because we have so many dumb asses out there trying to portray 1.00

00:24:28.200 themselves as superior skilled people, that it makes people shy away from the skill of sales.

00:24:34.980 When in reality, if they would just work through the first couple of things, they would figure it

00:24:39.900 out and do really well. And it can make a huge impact on your life because when you're confident

00:24:44.080 in how you could sell things, you're also very confident in talking to people. You're confident

00:24:49.140 in social situations, even if you don't like them. So it's an important skill to develop. But I think,

00:24:54.040 you know, the biggest thing that people need to do is they need to stop thinking and start moving.

00:24:59.820 Okay. And this, this principle applies across the board in any human interaction. The more you think

00:25:06.200 about it, uh, you know, approaching someone or calling someone or sending that email, the more

00:25:12.060 you're going to get in your own head and imagine what the worst possible outcome could be. You know,

00:25:17.360 dude, the key of it is just like dial your phone and, or send the fucking email and get it over with. 0.92

00:25:22.400 All right. And people, they, they build up this whole like worst case doomsday scenario in their

00:25:28.040 head that they can never even make that first call or send that first email or reach out that

00:25:32.720 first time and shake someone's hand. The truth of it is, is like, you know, those people, if you're

00:25:39.200 selling the right thing, like what we talked about, you're doing the right thing. Those people probably

00:25:43.380 need your solution. And you have to start understanding that you're not the first person in the world to

00:25:48.860 ever sell something. You're not the first person in the world to ever call on

00:25:52.280 somebody whenever you have something to sell, you know? And I think people think that they're

00:25:56.860 like, fuck dude, I'm going to call this dude and he's going to motherfuck me up and down and this 0.99

00:26:01.360 is that. You know what? He might, and he might blow you off and you're going to get motherfucked and

00:26:06.100 you're going to get blown off and you're going to get fucking tension from selling. But the truth

00:26:10.660 is, is that you need to look at it as dude, you're getting better every single at bat. You know what I

00:26:14.560 mean? Right. Well, it's a longterm play. It's like the guy in the bar who sits in the corner and

00:26:19.480 looks at the hot chick. Oh yeah. And just like, dude, dude, what's my first line? What's my first

00:26:23.620 line? That's one of the most valuable things for people and is, is, is, is dating. Because if you

00:26:28.140 learn how to sell, you're going to learn how to date properly. Yeah. Right. And that goes for girls 1.00

00:26:31.460 and guys. Like if you learn how to interact and you learn how to sell, you learn how to present

00:26:35.300 value and what it is you have to offer both personally or in your product, you're going to

00:26:39.620 have a lot better time dating and meeting people, which means you're going to meet more quality

00:26:43.400 people, which means your life is going to inherently be better over the course of it.

00:26:48.360 Right. You know, so sales is a huge skill that the key, the key to that situation is to get the

00:26:53.040 fuck up off your bar stool and walk over and say, Hey, how are you doing? I'm Andy. Right. And then

00:26:57.580 you know what? Whatever the fuck happens from there happens. You'll figure it the fuck out. You know

00:27:01.520 what I mean? You don't have to have some cheesy line because dude, here's where people fuck up. They sit

00:27:06.420 there and they're like, Oh, well, should I say this? If I say this, well, she says this. And they try to plan

00:27:11.360 out this fucking thing in their head. How about this, man? How about go over, reach your fucking 0.77

00:27:15.880 hand out and say, Hey, I'm Vaughn. I just wanted to meet you and let it go. Right. You know what?

00:27:21.340 And she might be fucking rude and it might, it might be weird, but the truth is everybody's weird 0.88

00:27:27.620 and everybody's awkward and everybody's uncomfortable. So just getting up and doing it says

00:27:31.860 something about who you are. The athletic analogy is good too. I mean, when's, when are teams the most

00:27:36.820 nervous? Right before the game. Right. Yeah. Once the bell rings or whatever.

00:27:41.360 Action cures anxiety. Yeah. All right. Like when you move and you start moving towards where you

00:27:46.380 want to go, it's just like whenever you have a messy office or something. Right. And you walk by it

00:27:51.540 like three or four times. You're like, fuck dude, it's making me like, it's annoying me. What happens

00:27:56.340 when you start to go clean it? It goes away. All right. Same thing when you're on the barstool and

00:28:00.860 there's a girl and you're looking at her and you're like, gosh, she's hot. And you're starting to,

00:28:04.840 dude, you got to get up and go right then. You have to get up and go and say hi. Otherwise you're

00:28:08.680 gonna talk yourself out of it. And at least if you go up there, you could walk out and

00:28:12.520 be like, dude, I was, at least I was a grown man and I went and did that. You know what

00:28:15.700 I mean? And action just cures it. You know, like in football, if you ever played football,

00:28:20.580 dude, after the first hit, the anxiety's gone. You know, it's just, it just does. It's the

00:28:26.140 way it goes.

00:28:26.700 The reason I think that's so helpful is because I do think the vast majority of people on this

00:28:32.040 planet, they are kind of insecure. They are kind of self-conscious.

00:28:36.280 No, everybody is. Yeah. And if you're the person that just makes the first move,

00:28:39.860 you're going to appreciate that. And if you're the person who makes the first move in,

00:28:44.700 in the face of your own anxiety, in your own insecurities, people respect that. They don't

00:28:51.660 look at it as like, oh, you're some cocky dude. They do. If you go up with some bullshit

00:28:55.780 line, but like, dude, you know, people respect that. Even, even the opposite sex when you're 0.96

00:29:00.860 trying to date, like disrespect it.

00:29:02.640 Dude, talk about this. Cause I know you'd have a lot to say about this. I don't think

00:29:06.220 most people understand that customers are very often self-conscious. You know?

00:29:11.860 Absolutely.

00:29:12.420 Yeah. Like, I don't think people think that when you're a sales, you don't think like,

00:29:15.340 well, my customer's kind of self-conscious dude. When I go into like, I'm not a handy

00:29:20.260 guy. So when I go into home improvement or what is it? Home Depot.

00:29:23.560 You're intimidated.

00:29:24.200 I'm like, crap, what am I doing here?

00:29:25.780 And then you go up and you try to ask the question and the sale and you're afraid to ask

00:29:30.360 because you're afraid to look stupid. 0.61

00:29:31.980 Right.

00:29:32.160 You know, and we all have been there, whether it be, you know, my business is really like,

00:29:36.720 like really like that because people come in, they're not happy with their body. They're not

00:29:41.240 happy with their shape. They're not happy. And they don't know anything about what we're doing.

00:29:45.060 So they come in and they're super nervous and super intimidating, which makes it really important

00:29:49.360 for us to like really make them feel at home. So you have to be aware of that. Like, you know,

00:29:54.980 and that could go in a social situation. It could go when you're selling something,

00:29:58.320 it could go in a ton of situations, but just make getting on somebody's side and making them

00:30:03.040 feel comfortable is, is a huge deal. Yeah. Cause it cures anxiety for both parties. You see what

00:30:09.240 I'm saying? It's kind of funny. Cause I think of what they always say about animals, you know,

00:30:12.440 they're more afraid of you than you are of them, you know? And just, well, how do they know that?

00:30:16.920 That's a good question. I think when they say that about snakes, it's not really true.

00:30:20.400 No, I agree. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with that. But I mean like, dude, what do they do? Like

00:30:23.680 they have a fucking Caesar Milan at the dog just said, Hey, I'm really afraid of you. 0.96

00:30:27.480 Yeah. I don't know, dude. I don't know how they come up with that, but yeah, man, you know,

00:30:32.500 I think just jumping in, uh, and to, and doing making the calls, making the emails going right

00:30:39.420 at it, attacking the anxiety is what's going to help the biggest and the fastest in the sales

00:30:45.060 process. You know, the next thing, uh, the second step of this is like, dude, you got to ask a lot

00:30:49.360 of questions. You know, if you're afraid of talking, ask questions, get the other person to open up

00:30:54.340 because if there's one thing that people love is to talk about themselves and their problems.

00:31:00.800 All right. And whatever you're selling is probably going to solve a problem. And since they're in the

00:31:05.660 context of talking to you right here on the spot in this store, on this website or whatever,

00:31:11.340 and you represent a solution, a potential solution, whether it be like health related or feeling cool

00:31:17.040 or transportation or whatever, whatever we, whatever we find the solution to be, they're

00:31:22.140 likely to talk about those problems. And that's going to give you ammunition to help address their

00:31:26.500 needs. So you don't have to have the spiel. You just got to almost be a great interviewer.

00:31:33.180 You know what I mean? You've got to be someone who can ask questions to figure out, you know,

00:31:37.320 where are these people, where their heads at, where they're coming from. And the truth is,

00:31:41.020 is if you're like we said, if you're one of the people who uses the product,

00:31:44.040 who believes in the product to this, that you're going to relate to those people because they're

00:31:47.660 going to ask shit. They're going to answer your questions in a way that reminds you of some of

00:31:53.360 the problems that you used to have before you discover this amazing product. And you're going

00:31:57.360 to be able to be like this. Oh, dude, I totally get that. I was just like that when I started.

00:32:03.040 You know what? I, I totally relate to that. That was me. I was like that, but you know what?

00:32:07.660 I discovered this and let me show you a little bit about that. Right. And you start talking about

00:32:12.160 what you're doing. And then, you know it develops into a conversation versus, versus you selling.

00:32:18.320 And a lot of people don't want to sell and they don't, they don't do good at sales because they

00:32:23.040 think that they have to have the quote unquote pitch because that's what all the fucking sales 0.89

00:32:26.880 gurus say. Well, dude, that's not true. People buy from their friends and they want to have a

00:32:31.440 conversation from a friend standpoint about the product. So the quicker that you can relate to them

00:32:38.220 and which should be easy if you believe in the product and use the product, the quicker they're

00:32:43.280 going to trust you and the quicker you can have a real conversation without feeling like you've got

00:32:46.640 to pressure them into the sale, which by the way, that shit is old as fuck. It doesn't work anymore.

00:32:53.040 There's too many other options. What I love about the question thing is you're, you're asking people

00:32:58.340 to open up, they're sharing information and then you can take that information. And to me,

00:33:01.960 the analogy I always use is, is, is like a rally and a tennis match. It's, you know, request some

00:33:07.020 information, reveal some information back and forth and that establishes rapport. That's it.

00:33:11.640 You know, dude, it's that easy. It is that, and there's no pressure to it as long. It's natural.

00:33:16.220 That's the other thing about having people's good intentions in mind and having integrity

00:33:20.840 is that whenever you do the right thing and you know, you're coming from the right place,

00:33:25.220 there is no pressure to sell anything there. It doesn't matter. Right. You see what I'm saying?

00:33:29.480 Cause you know that you're genuinely helping them. So, um, it's important to come from that

00:33:35.360 place of integrity and you're right. It is like a tennis match. It's just nice and easy back and

00:33:40.520 forth and you're exchanging information to find a solution that works for everybody. And that's it.

00:33:45.640 It's nothing more than that. Um, you know, I think the third thing that people do that is do,

00:33:51.880 they tend to, they, this is, this happens to everybody who's in sales. Okay. They're,

00:33:56.240 they have one or two or three or four or 10 interactions that are great. They go out there,

00:34:01.500 they do exactly what we're saying. And they, and they, and then they run into somebody who's

00:34:05.720 like having a bad day or who's just a dick. And there is, there's not that many people out there

00:34:11.220 who are going to be just a dick to you for no reason. And they run into that person and the

00:34:15.960 person kind of bites their head off. Right. Or the person's not nice to them or the person

00:34:20.420 embarrasses them or, you know, challenges them or does something that doesn't feel good to them.

00:34:26.500 And then what they do is they adjust their perception of every single customer to be

00:34:31.440 that guy, right? This guy, if I say this wrong thing, he's going to bite my fucking head off.

00:34:36.180 So they, they, uh, they start to put this story in their head that, that most people are like mean

00:34:41.780 and angry and pieces of shit, which keeps people from actually approaching other people. So now

00:34:49.080 because you had one interaction out of 10, one bad interaction on 10, you're going to

00:34:55.340 totally base your whole life based on that. It makes no sense, but that's what people do, man.

00:35:00.900 And they start to assume that, uh, everybody's like that when in reality, they're not like that.

00:35:06.800 If you put off a trustworthy, authentic vibe from a place of integrity, people are going to pick up

00:35:12.980 on it. And just because this dude's dog may have died earlier in the day, or his wife may have left

00:35:19.340 him earlier today and he treats you like shit does not mean that the other nine people that you're 0.78

00:35:24.420 going to see next are going to be good. Dude, I have the experience that about one out of every 10

00:35:29.060 people are going to be fucking dicks for one reason or another. And they're not necessarily dicks.

00:35:34.600 They might just be having a bad day. I cannot tell you how many times I've been in a sales

00:35:38.840 situation where someone's like been rude or bit my head off or been angry. And, and I've just

00:35:45.140 apologized and said, Hey man, you know, look, I, I didn't, obviously I crossed a line and this brings

00:35:51.520 up a good point. If you ever get to that, the best way to handle it is to not argue with them as just

00:35:58.280 to recognize that they're having a bad day. And just to say something like this, Hey man,

00:36:03.700 I didn't, however you took that, I didn't mean it like that. I'm, I was just trying to, you know,

00:36:09.420 help you out and get you to where we needed to go. And if I offended you, I didn't, it wasn't

00:36:13.680 intentional and I'm sorry. And just own it. And dude, you know what those people are going to say

00:36:17.520 that one out of 10 person who's mean, you know what they're going to say? Nine times out of 10,

00:36:22.080 they're going to say, dude, look, I'm having a bad day, man. I, you know, I just had a bad day.

00:36:26.980 They're going to tell you what happened and they're going to apologize back.

00:36:30.100 Right. You know? Right. And then you're going to have one person that's going to be like, well,

00:36:33.180 dude, you're being fucking this or that. And you know what? Maybe you were, and you should just 0.84

00:36:36.980 listen to their advice. You know what I mean? But you can't take shit personal and that's harder.

00:36:42.580 That's hard to do. Um, it's easy to say, but the truth of it is, is the more you practice,

00:36:47.820 the more it bats, which is the next point of becoming, uh, that I'm going to cover of becoming

00:36:54.200 someone who doesn't have anxiety with sales is fucking practice, practice. Think through 0.89

00:37:00.480 your, so I just had this talk with my company last night. Um, after every transaction that you have,

00:37:07.660 you should be breaking it down in your head. Like even if you win, like even if you sell the product,

00:37:13.280 that doesn't necessarily mean that you did the best job in the interaction. You know what I'm saying?

00:37:18.040 I call it, uh, uh, feedback mirage. All right. Feedback mirage is this. You go to sell a product

00:37:24.300 and the customer's excited and they leave happy, but there was five other things that you could have

00:37:30.040 done better, but because the customer left happy and was excited, you start to look at the end result

00:37:41.300 as a judgment of your technique. And that can really screw you over because dude, if you only look at the

00:37:47.240 end result and you don't look at what got you there, now you're not getting any better. And now

00:37:52.940 you're making adjustments that don't produce an accurate result. So you could be making mistakes,

00:37:58.140 little mistakes, little mistakes, little mistakes, step by step by step, and still getting a sale in

00:38:02.020 the beginning. But as you move down the road, eventually your technique is going to get so far

00:38:09.860 off that you're not producing the result of a sale. And then you're going to look and be like, dude,

00:38:13.880 I'm doing the same thing I was doing. No, that's not true. That's not true. You were judging your

00:38:19.080 performance based on the actual results of the sale and how happy the customer were or was

00:38:23.840 instead of basing your performance on your actual technique. And that's the difference between great

00:38:30.140 salespeople and bad salespeople. Bad salespeople will go up and down. They will start out humble.

00:38:37.720 They will get taught a specific way to sell. They will have success with a specific way to sell.

00:38:44.580 They will start being excited about it and believe in it and they will continue to do better. And

00:38:48.880 eventually they will get really good at selling. And when they get really good at selling, they'll

00:38:53.140 start looking at the win as opposed to self-evaluation on the technique. All right. And whenever they look at

00:38:59.580 the win and they're getting it with different technique, they don't notice. So they start to come back

00:39:04.120 down. Their skill quality goes down. All right. They're not, then they're still getting results

00:39:08.620 because they're still pretty good, but they're believing it's them, not the, not the, uh, the

00:39:13.980 technique that they were taught. All right. So now they're looking at the technique and they're saying,

00:39:18.920 well, I can do this one and not this part and this part and not this part. Cause I could still get

00:39:22.500 results with that. Well, then what happens? Their sales numbers come down and they stop having success.

00:39:27.160 They move down, they move back down the hill where they get frustrated. All right. This is the

00:39:32.220 equivalent when I talk about like the ax having to be sharp. Yeah. It's the equivalent of you hitting

00:39:37.380 the ax on the tree for the first hour and it's really sharp and you're chopping down a lot of

00:39:42.420 trees. But for the second hour, because you've hit so much in the same spot, you're actually doing the

00:39:49.020 same thing. You're hitting in the same spot. You're swinging with the same effort, but you're actually

00:39:53.480 getting zero results and you can't figure out why you're not getting the results. All right. And

00:40:00.240 you're not getting the results and you'll blame the ax. You'll say, oh, this ax sucks. I need a new

00:40:04.060 ax. And that's where people go, oh, this job sucks. I need a new job. And instead, what they really need

00:40:10.060 to do is step back, fucking put a new edge on the blade, which is self-evaluation. Say, okay, my

00:40:16.920 technique is I'm off here. I'm off here. I'm off here. Right. Then when they step back up to the tree

00:40:22.160 and start swinging, guess what happens? Results come back. So you have to go through the preparation

00:40:28.180 and the practice and the practice can only really come in the actual sales interactions. So you've

00:40:35.000 got to make the calls. You've got to send the emails. You've got to shake the hands. You've got

00:40:38.380 to make the appointments and you've got to do it a lot. And what you're going to find out, if you're

00:40:43.200 aware, is you're going to find out a way to win. And let me share a little secret with you about this.

00:40:48.060 I get asked this all the time. They're like, how do you keep your ax sharp all the time? How do you avoid

00:40:53.200 it ever getting dull? There's two ways. All right. One, you've got to set massive goals for yourself

00:40:59.700 because no matter how good you're doing, if you start to do good, you're still going to be a million

00:41:03.860 miles away from your real goals, which means you're going to self-evaluate everything that you do

00:41:08.880 by default. Okay. And two, you have to go out and lose. What does that mean? You've got to go out and

00:41:16.400 experience the pain of losing. If you don't know the pain of losing, you're never going to appreciate the

00:41:20.680 winning, which means you're not going to be willing to sharpen the ax. Follow what I'm saying?

00:41:24.300 Absolutely. So, you know, preparation and practice is the fourth thing that you've got to have and

00:41:30.300 you've got to do consistently to avoid social anxiety when it comes to selling. Because after

00:41:35.820 you practice enough and you've got your blade sharpened enough, you're not going to be intimidated

00:41:39.580 to go into any situation. It's just, it's just not. So bear with me because it's, you know,

00:41:44.640 it's March madness. So my mind's on basketball and sports in general, but I mean, is what you're saying

00:41:50.160 is there's some connection to the fact that you see these hall of fame coaches and, you know,

00:41:56.640 there's two minutes left in the game and their team is winning by 30. Yeah. But they're intense.

00:42:01.900 They're intense, but they're also calling timeouts and they're still teaching. Yes. So is that kind

00:42:06.540 of what you're talking about? That filters into what you're talking about? That's exactly what I'm

00:42:10.340 talking about. That's a habit, dude. Yeah. They could easily let that timeout go. Those guys are

00:42:14.920 strategically calling timeouts because they're afraid they're going to lose. That's just a fucking

00:42:18.720 habit. Right. Like that's like, this is what we do here. We're not judging on the win. We're

00:42:23.080 judging on the technique. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It makes total sense. And it

00:42:27.040 also, dude, people who judge on the win, when they win enough, they get complacent. People who

00:42:32.220 judge on the technique always win. Yeah. Follow what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I do. I, so, I mean,

00:42:39.880 to your point too, that it's also possible that that team was winning, not because they were doing

00:42:45.420 something right, but because the other team just sucks. Exactly. Exactly. That's what I'm saying.

00:42:48.940 Yeah. So like you might be able to come in and close a sale and sell something because the person

00:42:54.920 was desperate for what you need and they leave excited, not because of anything you did, just

00:42:58.800 because they wanted it. Right. You know, and it's the same thing with a team sport. You know,

00:43:03.500 you could go out on a football field and score a hundred points on someone. That doesn't mean you

00:43:07.700 execute it properly. It just mean, it could mean they suck. Your level of talent. Yeah. And if you just

00:43:12.120 look at the scoreboard and say, oh, dude, we killed everyone. So we're going to, we're going to

00:43:16.340 fucking crush everyone. You're going to go out and play somebody who's good and they're going to beat

00:43:20.060 the shit out of you. Yeah. So you should, that's why like, dude, when you, a good, good football team,

00:43:24.660 they don't just throw film out the window when they win. They fucking look at film harder. How could

00:43:30.060 we have scored more points? How could we have gotten better? How could we have done more? And that's

00:43:33.900 what champions do. They do it on every opportunity at every transaction that they, that they have,

00:43:38.360 you know, my baseball coaches used to make us run polls on games that we would fucking, 1.00

00:43:43.640 you know, murder the other team, but he would point out those things. Yeah. You guys got 15

00:43:48.340 polls. Yeah. Yeah. Cause you're not doing it. You're not doing technique. Right. All great coaches

00:43:52.820 coach on technique, not on the result. So let me ask you this. Some of the greatest players. I remember

00:43:58.560 I've heard, uh, Jerry Rice that even in practice, he was, he was finishing his routes like all the way.

00:44:05.820 You know, he wasn't just running into the end zone. Yeah. He ran into the end zone. So obviously

00:44:10.560 players are also coached that even if they blow the whistle, you finish your shot. Right. Yeah.

00:44:15.680 So what's the equivalent of that in a sales process? Well, I would say that, you know,

00:44:22.260 I would say that even if a customer tells, you know, halfway through and kicks you out of their

00:44:28.260 fucking office, that you follow it up with an email and say, Hey, I'm sorry that I, that this went this 0.78

00:44:33.940 way. Um, this was the rest of what I was going to show you. Uh, you know, again, I apologize for

00:44:40.560 whatever I did that, that rubbed, or if you're having, you know, however, whatever it is you dig

00:44:44.880 and I would always take responsibility. I would always say, dude, whatever I did to upset you,

00:44:50.160 you know, I didn't mean to. And, and I would finish the pitch, you know, or the story or whatever

00:44:54.280 it is you're selling. I really believe this product could help you. Um, you know, if you want to

00:45:00.380 continue the conversation, this is where to find me. I don't expect it, but you know, again,

00:45:04.560 I do believe I can help you and I'm sorry for how it went today. Yeah. You know, like worst case

00:45:08.940 scenario. The way that I interpret that is you're saying, even if you don't get the sales, stay

00:45:12.600 classy. Absolutely. It's, it's, it's not just about class two. It's about like self-belief. Like

00:45:18.100 it's about letting, it's about putting yourself in a situation where nothing can fucking hurt you. 0.58

00:45:22.260 You know what I'm saying? It's about taking those, the hardest possible rejections and conditioning

00:45:26.660 yourself to be able to take them without it ruining your whole fucking confidence. You know

00:45:31.600 what I mean? Yeah. Sometimes you got to laugh, laugh shit off, dude. Yeah. You know, sometimes

00:45:35.240 you got to be tough about it. Sometimes you got to laugh about it, whatever it is you got to do. But

00:45:39.040 the, the, the reality is, is that most of the time, if that shit happens, it's, it's, it's, uh,

00:45:45.440 it's probably not your fault. It's probably cause the person's upset about something else.

00:45:49.840 And if you just acknowledge that usually they'll come out and say so. Now, sometimes it is going to be

00:45:54.280 your fault. Cause some of you people don't really have much sensory acuity and you'll say shit and

00:45:58.580 do shit that isn't in tune with the signals that you're receiving back and you're going to look 0.80

00:46:03.480 stupid, but that's what happens in sales. Yeah. That's part of sales is learning how to read people

00:46:08.700 and respond in a way that's effective to produce a result, you know? But if we're talking simplistic

00:46:15.640 terms, just keep their interests in mind. You know what I mean? And keep their best interests in mind,

00:46:21.140 keep their, what's in it for them in mind. And if you do that, the, the vibes that you send are

00:46:26.180 going to be well-received from the people that you're talking to. Follow what I'm saying? Great.

00:46:30.540 Yeah. And I think, um, you know, the other thing that, that, that is a huge deal too, man, is that,

00:46:36.440 you know, a lot of people will talk about anxiety and stress and this and that, but dude, doesn't

00:46:43.100 it feel the same as excitement? Like, doesn't excitement and anxiety feel almost the same thing?

00:46:47.940 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So like, why can't you just tell yourself, um, you know,

00:46:53.840 that this is exciting. I'm, I've got a great opportunity. I'm excited to do this. I'm excited.

00:46:58.420 You know, a soldier, when they go into battle, they're fucking nervous as shit, man. They're

00:47:02.660 about to throw up their list or that. But the truth is, is that most of these guys, and I know

00:47:06.840 from fucking experience and ask them is that they figure out how to trick themselves into being 0.96

00:47:11.400 fucking pup to go in there and kick some ass. Yeah. And that's what you got to do in sales, 0.93

00:47:15.240 man. You've got to be able to transition what you think is anxiety and stress into an exciting

00:47:20.760 opportunity for you to do great. And that's it. You know, control yourself talk. Yeah,

00:47:26.100 for sure. And most people just, you know, they, they overthink it. They don't act. Okay. Um,

00:47:33.520 they don't ask questions. They feel like they have to go in with a pitch. They think the worst of

00:47:38.120 people. All right. They don't practice. They don't prepare. And they think they're going to freak the

00:47:43.620 fuck out if they go in there. And dude, if that's you, you're going to suck at sales. You're going

00:47:47.980 to be terrible. So you have to understand, move and go do it. All right. Ask a lot of questions.

00:47:56.600 Let them talk. Not only is it good for your anxiety, quote unquote, but it takes the pressure

00:48:02.140 off of you to have all the words and people love to talk about themselves and they're going to give

00:48:06.320 you an opportunity to teach them about your product or service. Okay. Think the best of people,

00:48:11.900 not the worst. Remember the nine great transactions you had versus the fucking one shit bag one. And

00:48:17.880 then when you have the one shit bag one, give them the benefit of the doubt. You know what I mean?

00:48:22.560 Prepare and practice, do your homework, break down your transactions, break down what you say after

00:48:28.480 every single opportunity and be your own coach. Self-awareness, man. Sharpen the fucking ax.

00:48:34.540 If you don't keep the ax sharp, you're not going to cut down any fucking trees. Okay. And the thing

00:48:40.100 about keeping your ax sharp is this, if you have huge goals, okay, and you've actually lost before

00:48:46.400 and you've figured out how to win a little bit, it's easier to keep your ax sharp because you know

00:48:50.820 you have a long way to go. If you don't have goals, you're going to be the top. You're going to be the

00:48:55.060 guy who understands, gets a little bit of success. He gets pretty good. Then he starts to like deviate

00:49:00.940 from the plan because he believes that he has a natural ability, which you don't. And he's going to go

00:49:05.720 back to the bottom and that cycle is going to repeat itself over and over and over again throughout

00:49:08.840 their lives. And instead of, you know, looking at it and saying, Oh, it's me. They're going to look

00:49:13.140 at it and say, Oh, it's this job. I mean, cause what's more frustrating than swinging a fucking

00:49:17.220 dull ax against the tree over and over and over again, putting in all that work, all that effort,

00:49:21.680 all that consistency, only to know that you're not making any progress because you haven't taken

00:49:26.060 the time to sharpen the ax, but you're not aware of that. Right? Dude, that's frustrating.

00:49:30.740 That'll break people. So you got to take time and you've got to learn how to be your own coach.

00:49:36.200 Dude, I'm looking at these, uh, these notes. I'm looking at your talking points and these are the,

00:49:39.980 you know, five, five ways to overcome social anxiety and sales. But I'm looking at these and

00:49:44.800 this is the formula for success in life. Yeah, for sure. Sales is life basically. I think so. I mean,

00:49:50.980 in, in, you know, from a particular point of view, people's fear of sales, I think people's fear

00:49:55.860 of sales and their ability and want to learn how to sell comes from all these old school sales gurus

00:50:03.760 who make it sound like it's some fucking manipulation. Nobody wants to manipulate anybody.

00:50:09.940 Nobody wants to lie to people. Nobody wants to trick people. Nobody wants to get money for things

00:50:14.900 that they didn't provide value for. You might think you do, but you don't because the minute you do it,

00:50:20.100 you're going to feel like shit. Okay, dude, being great at sales is really fucking simple.

00:50:25.860 It's really simple. It comes down to coming from a place of integrity, doing the right thing,

00:50:31.200 being a customer of the product and being someone who's, who's happy to recommend the product.

00:50:36.340 That's the basis. And after that, it's just simple as, you know, what we're talking about

00:50:41.060 with these five things. We're talking about very, very basic principles. We're talking about,

00:50:45.920 you know, getting started. We're talking about asking questions. We're talking about thinking

00:50:52.120 good things of people. We're talking about practice. And then we're talking about, you know,

00:50:56.660 taking your anxiety and thinking as an opportunity versus something that you're going to get your head

00:51:01.300 crushed in on. And if you can do that from a place of integrity, dude, there's no limit to how well

00:51:06.180 you're going to sell anything. People who are having, if you're having trouble with sales right now,

00:51:11.420 it's because you don't believe in the product. You aren't a customer of the product.

00:51:15.460 You are trying to manipulate people out of the money instead of trying to provide a solution.

00:51:21.080 Okay. And that's what it comes down to. Those three things that we talked about in the beginning

00:51:27.100 of the podcast will cure 90% of the anxiety. The rest of the top five ways that we talked about

00:51:31.800 overcoming anxiety, that's just fucking practicing sales. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's good

00:51:36.820 stuff, man. Super practical. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, I guess like the thing that I want people to

00:51:43.360 understand is that, you know, and we said this already, but I want to hit on it again.

00:51:49.480 You could be the most introverted person in the world. You can be the person who hates being around

00:51:53.680 people, who's nervous around people, who, who thinks about throwing up at the sight of being in

00:51:58.460 a crowd. Um, and you could still become great salesperson, right? It's just, it's part of what

00:52:05.440 you have to learn. Okay. And you don't have to be like one of these old slick sales guys where

00:52:10.480 you've got a prospect and you've got to do this and you've got to close and you've got to blah,

00:52:15.780 blah, blah. Dude, I don't know any of that fucking shit. You know, I read all those books and I forgot

00:52:19.680 them all because it's not real in the real world, not in this day and age. The real world in this

00:52:24.400 day and age is doing the right thing, coming from a place of good intentions, having integrity and

00:52:29.180 providing something that provides a real solution. If you have that, you're not going to have any

00:52:32.340 problems with sales. And if you don't have that, you're not going to have any success selling

00:52:35.880 whatever it is you're selling. So if that's you and you don't believe in the product,

00:52:39.120 guess what? Fucking quit and go find something that you can. That's the truth.

00:52:43.480 I think of my buddy, uh, Jimmy, who is, uh, he's an introvert. He's a man of few words. He's quiet,

00:52:49.800 but man, you get him started on Kansas state football and he will not stop. And he's super

00:52:54.580 articulate. He's super cause he knows the product. He he's, he's passionate about it. And so things just

00:52:59.840 flow out of that. And to me, that's what, that's what it comes down to is it doesn't matter if you're an

00:53:03.820 introvert, if you love the product, if you, if you have personally benefited from it, you're just going to

00:53:08.620 become the most eloquent, natural, endearing. Yeah. And let's talk about that too, man. Like

00:53:14.140 a lot of people are like, well, I don't want to learn how to sell because I'm an introvert

00:53:18.080 motherfucker. If you don't learn how to sell and you don't learn how to lead and manage people,

00:53:22.060 you are going to be fucking struggling financially. And I said that in our other podcast, we talked

00:53:26.940 about leading management and leadership. If you don't learn those skills, you will never make any

00:53:32.260 money period. Absolutely. End of story. It's not a choice. It's something you have to learn no matter

00:53:39.620 if you're a fucking graphic designer, no matter what the, what the fuck it is you do at some level, 0.72

00:53:45.020 you're going to have to be comfortable, comfortable selling, and you're going to have to be comfortable

00:53:48.760 leading. It's just something you have to do. So suck it up, dedicate yourself to figuring this shit

00:53:55.160 out and fucking practice it. And I promise you that you're going to find it's not that big of a

00:54:01.040 deal. 100%. I agree. I don't know. Way to make it awkward, dude. I don't have any other.

00:54:09.420 All right. With that being said, guys, um, look, uh, I would appreciate if you click subscribe on

00:54:16.800 the podcast, leave us a review, um, and make sure that you tell a friend, like we talk about, Hey,

00:54:22.480 tell a friend. And I know a lot of people, you know, you've listened to the 200 and however many

00:54:27.020 episodes we have. What do we have here now? What's this 200? This should be 225, I believe.

00:54:32.160 225 episodes that you listen to for free, by the way. And you know, you've referred one or two

00:54:39.360 friends. Look, when I, let me clarify something. When I say, Hey, bring me a friend. I mean,

00:54:44.360 bring me a friend per episode. I only bring me a one friend for 200 fucking 25 episodes. That's not

00:54:51.520 fair. That's not right. I'm giving you real skills that can help you develop as a human and make you

00:54:57.060 money. So guys, and that also means don't just tag them on my post. If you tag them on my post

00:55:04.000 to listen to this or subscribe, tell them why they are, why you're tagging them. Hey man,

00:55:09.540 I think you should really check out this guy's podcast. Hey man, I'm learning a lot from this

00:55:13.520 dude here. This, this, when people, when, when people, when you just tag people, that's like the

00:55:17.460 lazy way of doing it. Okay. So I'm looking for a genuine recommendation. If you get value from this

00:55:23.380 podcast, which I know a lot of you do bring me one person per episode, that's not making a post

00:55:30.120 either. That's like, you might make a post, but that's like getting involved in the conversation,

00:55:34.320 genuine recommendation. And you might not do it online. It might be, it might be, uh, in person.

00:55:39.740 It might be some friend that you talk to at work. I don't know, but just help us spread the word and

00:55:44.100 do it, do it the right way. It's on the honor system because I know that you guys are fucking of

00:55:49.260 moral high moral standard and you're going to obey it. But like, guys, we rely on this to grow the

00:55:54.880 podcast, to grow the movement. So, um, you know, when you're not doing that part of it, uh, you know,

00:56:03.300 it's really hurting us and our ability to grow. So if you believe in the message and you get value

00:56:06.980 with what we're doing, give me one friend per episode. I think that's fair. So we're not asked

00:56:12.200 for any money anyway. Um, that's the show for today. We'll have another show on Thursday, Thursday

00:56:16.600 thunder, maybe Friday fire. I don't know yet. See how the week goes until then crush the week.

00:56:22.260 Take the notes on this podcast. Make sure that you understand what we're talking about because

00:56:28.740 overcoming the anxiety of sales is the key to becoming successful. Most people will never

00:56:35.260 overcome sales, which is why there's a huge opportunity to become great at it. All right,

00:56:39.700 guys. See you later.

00:56:46.600 Bye.

00:56:47.600 Bye.

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - March 27, 2018

The Top 5 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety in Sales, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO225

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