REAL AF with Andy Frisella - Two Of The Most Powerful Words, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO34

00:00:00.280 Hey guys, this is Vaughn Kohler and you're listening to the MFCEO Project featuring Andy

00:00:05.440 Frisella, the man who delivers the truth so heavily that every word he speaks weighs a

00:00:10.420 thousand pounds.

00:00:11.600 Hey, it's the holidays.

00:00:12.740 Are you grateful?

00:00:13.900 Andy says that two of the most powerful words in the English language are thank and you.

00:00:19.340 That's today's podcast.

00:00:30.000 Hey guys, what's up?

00:00:44.780 You're listening to the MFCEO Project.

00:00:47.000 I'm your host, Andy Frisella, and I'm here with my co-host Vaughn Kohler and Ben Newman.

00:00:51.600 What's up, guys?

00:00:52.400 What's going on?

00:00:53.000 It's the holiday season.

00:00:54.020 It is the holiday season.

00:00:55.440 Yeah.

00:00:55.720 Holidays are here.

00:00:56.340 It's hard to, here in Missouri, man, right now it's like 70 degrees. 0.97

00:01:00.000 I know, it sucks.

00:01:00.760 It's like weird, not holiday feeling. 0.95

00:01:03.480 Yeah.

00:01:04.040 You know?

00:01:04.700 Yeah.

00:01:05.020 I see the Christmas lights up and I feel hot.

00:01:07.740 Those things don't go together for people that live in like traditional climate zones.

00:01:11.560 You know what I mean?

00:01:11.980 Yeah, you look hot.

00:01:12.900 You just, you know.

00:01:13.760 What?

00:01:15.380 Anyway, so today, today, you know, I was thinking, we were talking before we started about how different

00:01:28.900 the childhood experiences now versus like when we grew up, you know, and I know I talk a

00:01:37.060 lot about video games and people like, oh, playing video games to waste time and blah,

00:01:41.120 blah, blah.

00:01:41.540 But like, whose fault is that really?

00:01:43.540 You know what I'm saying?

00:01:44.220 Like nowadays, you know, when I was a kid, man, like we'd be out in the yard, like digging

00:01:49.540 holes.

00:01:50.240 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:01:50.960 Like just doing shit, like dig holes. 1.00

00:01:54.380 You got called in for dinner. 1.00

00:01:55.400 Yeah.

00:01:55.720 Right, man.

00:01:56.280 Like, like the lights came on.

00:01:57.500 It's time to go in to eat.

00:01:58.520 You know what I mean? 0.97

00:01:59.000 We'd like, my dad gave us like a box of nails and like a two by four and like we would fucking 0.97

00:02:02.820 make a go-kart out of it. 0.92

00:02:04.160 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:02:04.520 We would just do shit. 1.00

00:02:05.720 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:06.020 Nowadays, like you show a kid a fucking hammer, he doesn't know what it is. 1.00

00:02:09.460 Yeah. 0.99

00:02:09.840 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:02:10.280 But he knows what a fucking thermonuclear weapon is from Call of Duty. 0.99

00:02:13.640 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:02:14.160 Like what does it deal with?

00:02:16.900 I mean, I don't have any kids, so I'm asking, you know, you like Ben, you would know,

00:02:20.440 like, I mean, what is this?

00:02:22.280 I walk home from a day of work.

00:02:25.960 I walk in from a trip from speaking or whatever it might be.

00:02:29.900 And my son wants that iPad before he wants to give me a hug.

00:02:33.240 Yeah.

00:02:33.480 I mean, I got to straighten that kid out and say, boy, you better come over here and tell

00:02:38.340 your dad hello before you go for that iPad.

00:02:40.260 It's a wild world.

00:02:42.140 I never thought it would be like that. 0.99

00:02:43.420 It's like, yeah, but think about like raising a kid now, you know, you just fucking buy him 0.99

00:02:48.240 a couple of the, you know, games and fucking let him go. 0.98

00:02:51.880 And they go for 12 hours straight. 0.96

00:02:54.020 Did you guys play army when you were little?

00:02:56.000 Yeah, man.

00:02:56.580 Yeah.

00:02:56.860 I don't feel like anybody plays.

00:02:58.260 Oh, we play guns.

00:02:59.420 Yeah.

00:02:59.640 Nobody plays army anymore. 1.00

00:03:01.140 You can't play fucking tag anymore, man. 1.00

00:03:03.140 It's assault. 1.00

00:03:04.140 GI Joe used to be the big thing.

00:03:05.600 You know, you could buy those.

00:03:06.560 Remember those plastic M16s you could buy?

00:03:08.760 That was pretty cool.

00:03:09.680 Dude.

00:03:10.580 Remember laser tag?

00:03:11.820 Oh, yeah.

00:03:12.520 Dude.

00:03:12.780 Laser tag.

00:03:13.800 Yeah, dude.

00:03:14.320 I don't even know.

00:03:15.120 I was wondering this.

00:03:15.920 We live right up the street from Toys R Us.

00:03:18.560 And I was wondering, like, do they even sell toy guns anymore?

00:03:20.900 Like, can you buy toy guns?

00:03:22.420 I think like laser guns, things that look clearly like. 0.98

00:03:26.540 But they're like fucking neon yellow, right? 0.97

00:03:27.900 Yeah. 0.96

00:03:28.100 They're not like.

00:03:28.380 Yeah.

00:03:29.020 No, they're not.

00:03:29.500 They're not authentic or anything.

00:03:30.740 They're not M16s.

00:03:31.880 Yeah.

00:03:32.360 Yeah.

00:03:32.960 Dude.

00:03:33.320 Jailbreak.

00:03:34.120 Jailbreak.

00:03:35.700 Jailbreak.

00:03:36.220 You never played Jailbreak?

00:03:37.080 What is that?

00:03:37.440 One of those?

00:03:37.680 Or Hotbox?

00:03:39.180 Hotbox?

00:03:39.660 That sounds.

00:03:40.680 You guys.

00:03:41.200 Oh, man.

00:03:42.000 Really? 0.88

00:03:42.400 Man, you're one of them weirdos.

00:03:43.540 Hotbox was a baseball game.

00:03:45.100 You ran from one point to one point?

00:03:47.360 Yeah.

00:03:47.780 Yeah.

00:03:48.080 Dude, we were baseball players, so we played baseball in the backyard every day.

00:03:53.020 Yeah.

00:03:53.220 You know what I mean?

00:03:53.700 We played with a tennis ball and like a stickball bat.

00:03:55.800 Yeah.

00:03:56.080 Okay.

00:03:56.320 Okay.

00:03:56.520 Actually, here's the question for Andy, and you will lose all credibility if you can't answer

00:03:59.820 this.

00:04:00.660 On the original Tecmo Bowl game, who was the player that was ridiculously better than everybody

00:04:06.220 else on that game?

00:04:08.480 The original Tecmo Bowl.

00:04:09.920 The original Tecmo Bowl.

00:04:11.040 I think it was either Herschel Walker or it was Lawrence Taylor.

00:04:19.140 What do you think, Ben?

00:04:20.180 Bo Jackson.

00:04:21.100 It was Bo Jackson.

00:04:22.520 Yeah.

00:04:22.820 And there was also one that was-

00:04:23.620 Well, you gave that ball to Bo Jackson and it was game over.

00:04:26.700 Was it?

00:04:27.280 That, and then when they came out with the next version of it that had Deion Sanders, it 0.97

00:04:31.640 was ridiculous.

00:04:32.560 Like, everybody else was about six times slower than Deion.

00:04:35.620 But like, dude, you know when we all played video games when we were kids, we still did 0.99

00:04:38.080 other shit. 0.99

00:04:39.060 Now I feel like the kids just fucking play video games. 1.00

00:04:41.360 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:41.700 Like, they don't do anything else.

00:04:43.640 And like, what, you know, what is that going to end up being?

00:04:47.380 You know, I mean, what is that going to produce?

00:04:51.920 You know?

00:04:52.480 I don't know.

00:04:52.740 I'm picturing Andy's kids opening up their presents on Christmas morning and getting

00:04:57.680 like a hammer. 1.00

00:04:58.700 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:04:59.260 And just different tools. 1.00

00:05:00.200 I will shop at Home Depot, man.

00:05:01.680 That's right. 1.00

00:05:01.800 They're going to get like a fucking, they're going to get like a tool belt and like a fucking 1.00

00:05:04.780 hammer. 1.00

00:05:05.000 Dude, that shit's cool. 1.00

00:05:06.200 Dude, I still walk through Home Depot and buy shit I don't need because it's like cool. 0.99

00:05:09.980 They're going to get pallets of bricks. 0.99

00:05:11.720 Dude, if you're a man and you can walk through Home Depot without wanting to buy shit that you 1.00

00:05:16.180 don't need, you're not a fucking man. 1.00

00:05:17.740 That's true. 1.00

00:05:18.260 Period.

00:05:18.960 That's true. 1.00

00:05:19.500 You start growing your vagina right now. 1.00

00:05:22.700 You know I'm right. 1.00

00:05:24.060 Dude, you know I'm right.

00:05:25.560 That's true.

00:05:25.880 Vaughn, you probably know from experience I'm right, huh? 1.00

00:05:28.320 Growing that vagina for a while. 1.00

00:05:29.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:05:30.720 Well, it's taken a while, but I've got it perfected.

00:05:35.480 So anyway, look, here we are.

00:05:37.520 We're a couple days away from Christmas.

00:05:42.560 You know, part of what like got me talking about the video games earlier was that we

00:05:47.700 have, you know, every year, man, it's, what is it?

00:05:51.480 Like it used to be Black Friday was the day Christmas started and Christmas lights went

00:05:56.980 up. 0.97

00:05:57.160 Now it's like, you know, October 1st, you're hearing fucking 24 hour day Christmas music 0.98

00:06:03.300 before it's even Halloween and you're seeing Christmas sales in fucking August. 0.97

00:06:06.480 I mean, it's just turned into like this huge commercialized, you know, extravaganza to make 0.97

00:06:15.920 a profit, you know, and I don't know, man.

00:06:18.860 Like I feel like, you know, what I want to talk about today is it goes along with like

00:06:24.460 the true meaning of Christmas.

00:06:25.620 I realize not everybody here is a Christian, but I mean, everybody could get down with like 1.00

00:06:30.180 being good to one another and having some gratitude for what, you know, you have in life

00:06:34.320 and spending time with people that matter and not putting all your focus on material

00:06:38.800 items. 0.99

00:06:39.400 I mean, you know, um, and I know the fucking douchebag out there right now. 0.99

00:06:43.800 So dude, Andy, you drive Lamborghinis to talk about fucking material items. 0.99

00:06:46.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:46.980 Motherfucker. 1.00

00:06:47.560 I also drove pieces of shit for longer than you've been born. 1.00

00:06:50.580 All right. 0.99

00:06:51.620 So exactly.

00:06:52.500 The reality of the situation is that, you know, people get lost in the, in the idea of what

00:06:58.500 it means, you know, to have gratitude, right?

00:07:04.200 You know, and that's, that's what I wanted to kind of dig into today because I feel like

00:07:07.680 as a society, especially when you're a success minded, aggressive, hustle minded person, it's

00:07:15.760 easy to let the idea of gratitude slip through your fingers.

00:07:20.020 And because you're always focused on what you're going to do next and what you don't

00:07:24.680 have and how much progress you need to make that you lose sight of what you have.

00:07:29.640 And that's a dangerous place to be because when you get in that place of, of, of losing

00:07:35.520 sight of how good you truly do have it, you become pretty miserable because you're in a

00:07:39.920 zone of having wanting things that you don't have, whether it be progress, whether it be

00:07:44.400 material items or income or whatever, um, and you're not appreciating how good you have

00:07:50.740 it on top of that or how far you've come.

00:07:52.660 And it's a, it's a dangerous balance slash slippery slope for, I think a lot of entrepreneurial

00:07:58.200 minded people, success minded people where they get in a zone of total frustration because

00:08:03.860 they're not where they want to be when in reality, you know, where they are is a thousand

00:08:08.440 times better than where they started.

00:08:09.960 Right.

00:08:10.440 You know what I mean?

00:08:11.020 And I think people lose sight of that.

00:08:12.320 It doesn't have to do with just gifts or anything.

00:08:13.860 I just figured like with Christmas being a couple of days away, it's probably a good

00:08:17.520 idea to, you know, bring this topic up because I see it a lot.

00:08:20.580 Can I, can I make a request?

00:08:21.980 Yeah.

00:08:22.380 Well, in the spirit of Christmas, you know, you got the Christmas lists.

00:08:25.560 I actually just put together a list of all the things that you've said kind of over the

00:08:29.280 years about, well, maybe over the year, uh, about thankfulness and gratitude.

00:08:34.260 So I'm going to just kind of feed you that list and you, you can, you know, Hey man,

00:08:39.480 you can wax eloquent on that.

00:08:40.660 You know, it's, I just think it's something that people can add fire to the, I mean, you

00:08:46.440 know, like you deal with a lot of guys too.

00:08:47.900 Like I, I deal with a lot of guys who come to me completely frustrated and I look at them 0.99

00:08:53.220 and from an outside point of view and I'm like, bro, you're fucking killing it. 0.98

00:08:57.440 Like you're doing a great job. 0.97

00:08:58.940 And they're like completely frustrated because they're unable to be thankful for what they've

00:09:02.700 accomplished or what they have or what they're, they've been, you know, blessed with, um, in

00:09:09.140 terms of, you know, where they are in life and from where they started, you know what

00:09:12.580 I mean?

00:09:12.780 They're unable to recognize that.

00:09:14.620 And there's two ways to look at that.

00:09:15.960 You know, some people are like, well, I always want to look far.

00:09:17.720 I never want to look back.

00:09:18.560 But I found that ultimately that creates a lot of frustration for people.

00:09:24.960 I mean, my, my perspective comes from my mom.

00:09:28.080 I mean, many of you, many of you know, listening that I lost my mom 11 days before my eighth

00:09:32.260 birthday.

00:09:32.580 She left a journal behind that was where she unleashed her positive mental attitude.

00:09:36.540 And she had a part in her journal that said, why did it take me getting sick to appreciate

00:09:41.100 all the most important relationships in my life?

00:09:43.500 And so it's hard for me to say that, but you know, it's also my mother's transparency.

00:09:47.640 That's so powerful to actually write that in the journal, knowing it would come to, you

00:09:51.560 know, to me one day that we can't wait.

00:09:54.940 You can't wait to get sick.

00:09:56.320 Like wherever you are in terms of success for you, you do have to celebrate it.

00:10:00.960 You do have to appreciate it.

00:10:01.980 You have to be grateful for it.

00:10:02.960 Don't spend too much time there because you got to continue to work, but don't forget that

00:10:07.100 to count the blessings and to be grateful for the people that are in your life.

00:10:10.340 Dude, I had a real, I had an experience a few years ago.

00:10:13.500 Um, and it wasn't me getting stabbed, which we've told that story before, but it was,

00:10:18.080 uh, I don't know if we've even talked about this before, but I had a, I was getting real

00:10:22.360 bad headaches and anxiety and like numbness in my fingertips and just, just weird shit 0.82

00:10:28.300 going on.

00:10:28.980 Um, with my body, I don't know, it was 2012, right before I got married and, um, I was getting

00:10:36.120 these super bad headaches.

00:10:37.400 And so I went in to the doctor and he didn't know what was going on.

00:10:40.420 So then he referred me to a neuro specialist.

00:10:42.680 I went into them, they did a cat scan and they found a mass of my brain that was abnormal.

00:10:48.680 Okay.

00:10:49.180 They didn't know what it was.

00:10:50.400 They didn't know if it was a tumor, if it was a, uh, assist, what, if it was supposed

00:10:54.560 to be there, if it wasn't supposed to be there.

00:10:56.360 So for two weeks I had to wait until they could figure out what it was. 0.99

00:11:00.400 And during those two weeks, I'm thinking like, fuck dude, I got brain cancer. 1.00

00:11:03.520 I'm going to fucking die. 1.00

00:11:04.420 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:11:05.200 And dude, it ended up being a pineal cyst, which apparently you're born with and it's

00:11:11.400 just supposed to be there, I guess, on some people.

00:11:14.400 Um, and the moral of the story is during those two weeks, dude, I, I remember looking at myself

00:11:22.240 in the mirror and thinking, God, dude, you know, look at all, look at all the life experience

00:11:26.920 that you've wasted and that you've, that you've not, I don't know, like I just looked around 0.97

00:11:34.540 at what I, all the shit that everybody else sees that I accomplished. 0.99

00:11:37.340 I'm like, fuck, that's not even what it's about. 0.99

00:11:39.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:11:39.640 It was like, it was like almost like, you know, I don't know. 0.98

00:11:42.820 It was like almost like God's way of putting shit in perspective for me. 0.98

00:11:46.020 Absolutely. 0.99

00:11:46.360 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:11:46.880 And like saying, Hey dude, you need to like appreciate some of this other shit that you 0.99

00:11:50.420 have. 0.97

00:11:50.900 And, um, you know, that kind of got me back in line in terms of, of being appreciative

00:11:56.700 for, you know, things that other than the bottom line of the company, you know what

00:12:02.560 I mean?

00:12:03.180 And, um, you know, I'm thankful for that happening because it helped me see that.

00:12:07.760 But the truth of the matter is a lot of people never get that wake up.

00:12:10.760 You know what I mean?

00:12:11.140 A lot of people never get a slap in the face and they have a hard time seeing how good

00:12:16.240 they have it compared to other people.

00:12:18.080 You know what I mean? 0.94

00:12:18.820 Which keeps them in a fucking frustrated, you know, zone where they can't feel good, you 0.97

00:12:26.320 know? 0.96

00:12:26.920 Last week I went back to Manhattan, Kansas, where I used to live for about nine years

00:12:30.900 because one of the guys that had been in my church, he was, dude was like 49 and all

00:12:35.180 of a sudden he died of a heart attack.

00:12:37.800 And, uh, you know, not to continue the, the, uh, the morbid, you know, emphasis on death

00:12:42.720 here, but, but I was really inspired cause I went like, I went, I mean, my heart breaks

00:12:46.800 for his family and everything, but like this place, the whole church, it was standing room

00:12:51.380 only.

00:12:52.120 And he was very successful.

00:12:53.640 I mean, he was an instructor at K state, but really he had lived his life to prioritize

00:12:56.740 people.

00:12:57.400 He had lived his life to, to, to be characterized by the right things, you know, being thankful

00:13:02.240 to people.

00:13:02.740 And it, and it's just, I don't know, like I drove home really impacted going, all right, 0.95

00:13:07.700 I don't want to die a total loser.

00:13:09.840 Like I want to die having treated people really well. 0.89

00:13:12.700 I want to have, have committed my life to the right things.

00:13:15.140 And, uh, sometimes, I mean, it is morbid, but sometimes like what you say, you had a

00:13:19.640 brush with thinking you were going to die.

00:13:21.300 I actually went to a funeral.

00:13:23.180 Ben, you experienced the loss of your mom.

00:13:25.960 I mean, there's a common thread there and that is, we're not going to be here all, you

00:13:29.840 know, we're not going to be here.

00:13:30.860 And I think a lot of people lose sight of that.

00:13:32.360 Yeah.

00:13:32.900 We're yeah.

00:13:33.220 And so it's, it's, it's a tough thing to think about sometime, but I, it's, it's important

00:13:37.100 to, to, to think about that.

00:13:39.200 Well, the thing, and when we talk about gratitude, like that's what we're talking about,

00:13:44.860 right?

00:13:45.120 Like we're talking about getting in a state or a mind state of gratitude.

00:13:48.120 The reality is, you know, this is a success based podcast.

00:13:53.000 Um, and having a mindset of gratitude is crucial and important to having success.

00:13:59.500 It's not a feel good, fuzzy, you know, uh, butterflies thing.

00:14:05.900 You know what I mean? 0.97

00:14:06.480 Like, you know, I don't, I'm not down with that shit usually, you know? 0.99

00:14:09.440 And, and the truth of it is, is that if you're not able to, to, to mentally put yourself in 0.98

00:14:15.260 a state of gratitude on purpose, you're going to have a very frustrating time moving forward,

00:14:20.160 which actually contributes to, you know, you either changing your mind or quitting or being

00:14:24.940 discouraged or having all the negative emotions that, you know, you have with a struggle because

00:14:30.580 success is a struggle for everybody, you know?

00:14:33.200 So if you can't consciously put yourself into a state of being thankful for where you are,

00:14:39.060 the opportunities you have, the successes you've had on demand, which is what we're going

00:14:44.460 to talk about here in a little bit, you're going to have a very hard time being successful,

00:14:48.060 if not being impossible to be successful, because what's going to happen is you're going

00:14:50.920 to get, you're going to go down the path.

00:14:52.480 You're going to, you're going to deal with the struggles.

00:14:54.280 You're going to get frustrated.

00:14:55.720 You're going to feel like the whole world's against you.

00:14:57.560 You're going to feel depressed.

00:14:58.500 You're going to feel angry.

00:14:59.300 You're going to feel, you know, mad. 1.00

00:15:00.940 And you're going to eventually say, fuck this, I'm going to do something else. 1.00

00:15:03.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:04.380 Yeah.

00:15:04.560 You know, so let's start at the most basic level because I, on the first, the first quote

00:15:09.260 from you on my list is, is a good one.

00:15:12.420 It's one I've heard you say again and again, and that is that thank you are the two most

00:15:17.640 powerful words in the English language.

00:15:19.100 And I've heard, I've heard you long enough to know that when, when you say powerful,

00:15:22.680 you mean they're motivating, they're motivating.

00:15:25.460 So what, I mean, what do you mean by that?

00:15:26.680 Like how, how does somebody harness the power of thank you?

00:15:29.360 Is that for your own life or is, or I'm sorry, is that just for your own life or is that

00:15:33.280 also in the way that you relate to other people and motivate other people and work with them

00:15:36.500 and in a business setting?

00:15:38.000 Well, first of all, it's both, right?

00:15:39.700 It feels good to thank somebody who's doing a good job.

00:15:41.980 You know, when you recognize somebody and say, Hey, you know, thank you.

00:15:45.700 You're doing a good job.

00:15:46.360 Thank you.

00:15:46.720 You did this for me.

00:15:47.420 And just giving that gratitude feels good.

00:15:50.040 It helps put you in a place of, of a more steady personality.

00:15:54.820 You know, uh, I guess, you know, just, I don't know how, I don't know how to say it,

00:16:01.120 but just put you in a good place.

00:16:03.040 Um, but also, you know, if you're in work in a work environment, you know, thank you could

00:16:10.680 be looked at as like a currency.

00:16:11.940 And this is how I look at it.

00:16:13.040 You know, like when somebody is doing a good job, you know, it's not very practical to 0.97

00:16:16.880 walk around with fucking $50 bills and say, Hey, here, Hey, here, Hey, here, you know, 0.97

00:16:22.240 you did a good job. 0.99

00:16:22.980 And like, it's thank you.

00:16:25.560 A genuine thank you could be thought of as currency when it comes to like your employees

00:16:29.600 or your coworkers or your superiors, because people appreciate being appreciated, you know?

00:16:35.160 And a lot of times, you know, especially with like certain employees, you're going to have

00:16:40.380 their idea of success.

00:16:41.760 Isn't the same idea of success that you have.

00:16:44.020 So their idea of success might not be, I'm going to be a millionaire.

00:16:47.200 Maybe their idea of success, I'm going to make 50, $60,000 and I'm going to have all

00:16:51.200 this free time to spend with my family.

00:16:52.880 So they're not money orientated.

00:16:54.720 So whenever you say, thank you, I appreciate you.

00:16:57.320 You know, you, you could give a lot of value there without, you know, even more value than

00:17:02.540 it would be to say, here's a $10,000 bonus to them.

00:17:05.020 They don't value thing.

00:17:06.180 It took me a long time to figure that out.

00:17:07.480 Cause like I was always very money motivated.

00:17:09.780 Um, but as, as a superior and as, as somebody who is, uh, running a company, you know, learning

00:17:16.760 how to say thank you and meaning it, uh, and showing it on a regular basis is a, is extremely

00:17:21.860 important skill.

00:17:22.780 You know, I think saying it and meaning it is a really, really important.

00:17:27.140 Yeah, dude.

00:17:27.520 Everybody knows when you mean it and when you don't mean it.

00:17:29.780 One of the things I try to do is I never, I will never shortchange your shortcut.

00:17:34.200 Thank you.

00:17:34.760 It's like in a text message to people on our team.

00:17:37.360 Cause so much business today is done via email or text message.

00:17:40.440 I, I am very intentional to never put THX for thanks.

00:17:44.600 I always put thank you.

00:17:45.900 Like I, I may shortcut some things in terms of shortening them, but I will always spell

00:17:50.960 out.

00:17:51.280 Thank you because those words are so powerful.

00:17:54.740 Well, it's, you know, and, and people don't, it's like the phrase, I love you. 0.64

00:17:59.420 Like people are so used to say it and they don't fucking mean it. 0.93

00:18:01.740 Right. 0.98

00:18:02.140 You know what I mean?

00:18:03.080 And it's the same thing.

00:18:04.840 You know, when you give somebody a firm handshake, you look them in the eye and you say, thank

00:18:08.540 you very much, man.

00:18:09.240 You're doing a great job.

00:18:10.240 I really appreciate the effort that you're putting in.

00:18:12.560 Dude, that could be more impactful than a raise.

00:18:14.620 It could be more impactful than, you know, recognition amongst the company.

00:18:18.120 It just is a, is a genuine thing that makes both parties respect each other more and,

00:18:23.160 and feel good and ultimately become more productive together as a team.

00:18:27.020 You know, what would you say to the guy who says, Andy, you say, thank you for a gift

00:18:30.920 or you say, thank you for a favor.

00:18:32.740 The point is, is that people who do work for you are earning money.

00:18:37.320 They're not.

00:18:37.880 So, so it's, why should I say thank you?

00:18:40.140 I pay them.

00:18:40.960 That should be enough.

00:18:41.580 I mean, if you want to think that way, you're thinking that's the old school way of business.

00:18:44.860 You know what I mean?

00:18:45.500 The reality of, of the situation nowadays is that there's too many companies that are willing

00:18:50.320 to recognize somebody, um, and that understand this level of relation.

00:18:54.860 I mean, dude, it used to, you got to think about how business has evolved, man.

00:18:57.920 It's evolved from basically, you know, indenture servitude or even slave labor. 0.96

00:19:03.900 Like, you know, you get paid a penny a week to work for my, and you're fucking lucky to 0.97

00:19:08.380 have a job. 0.89

00:19:09.360 Well, it's evolved to where now, you know, if you don't value your employees or you don't

00:19:14.560 create a culture of valuing your employees, there's plenty of other options out there.

00:19:18.760 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:19:19.200 There's not everybody here starving, you know, the reality, I mean, fucking government. 0.99

00:19:24.580 I don't want to get into it, but fucking dude, they pay just as much minimum wage now. 0.99

00:19:28.520 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:19:29.400 So if you want to keep your employees in a good place and productive, and I think that's

00:19:35.380 the difference, right?

00:19:36.140 Like, you know, people who have that attitude of, oh, well, you're lucky to have a job here

00:19:41.600 and my reward, your reward is you get paid.

00:19:45.080 They're going to produce X.

00:19:46.480 Well, and if you came to work or if they come to work and you appreciate them and you show

00:19:51.200 them value and you show them that they're appreciated, they're going to produce X plus.

00:19:55.000 And if you're really good at doing that, they're going to be X plus plus.

00:19:57.740 So it's all about what you want to get on your return for investment.

00:20:00.380 And to be completely honest, if you're a businessman who thinks like what you just said and you're 0.94

00:20:05.540 missing out on X plus plus because you're too fucking stubborn to understand the value of 0.98

00:20:10.860 appreciating people, you're not a good businessman. 0.99

00:20:14.680 It's the same as returning.

00:20:16.420 Would you, would you rather put your money in an account that produced 7% interest or

00:20:20.700 one that produced 11% interest?

00:20:23.180 You know what I mean?

00:20:23.960 Right.

00:20:24.380 It's the same thing.

00:20:25.360 Right.

00:20:26.260 So I run into a lot of guys who have big giant egos who think that's, you know, dude, 0.99

00:20:30.720 these guys are lucky to fucking work for me. 1.00

00:20:32.360 No motherfucker. 1.00

00:20:32.980 You're lucky to be in a position to have them work for you. 1.00

00:20:35.940 You know?

00:20:36.980 Yeah.

00:20:37.220 So obviously it's entrepreneurial podcast and, and I know that you've had a lot of

00:20:43.260 people, and this is to the second point on my list.

00:20:45.440 I know you've had a lot of people say, Annie, I'm at my best.

00:20:49.420 I'm at my peak when I'm really pissed off, when I'm angry, when I just want to prove people

00:20:53.120 wrong.

00:20:53.460 And I've heard you say, and this is, you know, the second quote on the list.

00:20:56.360 I've heard you say that like anger and getting pissed off, you know, that works a little bit,

00:21:01.300 but in the longterm, it's not going to work.

00:21:03.140 In the longterm, you have to fuel your motivation by gratitude.

00:21:07.220 Well, or with gratitude, not by gratitude.

00:21:10.760 Everybody's wired different, man.

00:21:12.400 You know, I personally respond good to negative motivation. 0.97

00:21:15.200 Like when I'm upset, I work fucking hard. 0.87

00:21:17.680 I come up with good ideas. 0.93

00:21:18.680 When I'm frustrated, I come up with good ideas.

00:21:20.380 That's because I'm good at personally at taking negative emotion and turning it into productive

00:21:25.560 action.

00:21:26.520 All right.

00:21:26.980 So listen to what I just said, taking negative emotion, turning into productive action.

00:21:31.080 Huge key for most people that they want to learn how to be successful because things 0.99

00:21:34.700 aren't always going to go your fucking way. 0.98

00:21:36.400 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:21:36.880 And most people take the negative emotion and they go home and they cry and stick their 1.00

00:21:40.400 head in their fucking sand, you know? 0.97

00:21:42.120 So I'm a little different than most people, but, um, you know, as you work on your goals, 1.00

00:21:50.160 you know, you're always going to be looking forward.

00:21:52.260 The focus is always going to be what's ahead.

00:21:53.820 And you have to think about, are you still going to feel good when all your goals are out of

00:21:59.880 reach about where you are?

00:22:02.160 This is kind of what I said whenever we were in the, in the beginning of the podcast is like

00:22:05.760 successful people are so success minded and so focused on what they don't have yet that

00:22:14.140 they ignore everything they do have, which puts you in a state of total frustration of driving

00:22:19.600 yourself insane. 0.73

00:22:21.260 And if you sit in that space long enough, you're going to quit.

00:22:25.080 You're going to find something else.

00:22:26.320 You can only take so much of it.

00:22:27.600 Trust me.

00:22:28.000 I know, you know, you're going to have a nervous breakdown.

00:22:30.520 You're going to quit.

00:22:31.440 You're going to do something, you know, that makes no sense.

00:22:34.440 That's a total reactive move.

00:22:36.400 You're not going to be able to keep your strategy together.

00:22:38.240 You're not going to be able to keep the respect of your employees.

00:22:40.960 It's just a bad place to be.

00:22:42.440 You know what I mean?

00:22:43.140 Cause like, dude, what happens when you're in that frustrated zone is you come into your 0.97

00:22:46.060 work and you, you know, you yell at everybody for no fucking reason. 1.00

00:22:49.960 You just become a piece of shit to be around. 1.00

00:22:52.280 Right. 1.00

00:22:52.640 So it's important to remember on a daily basis, what it is that you have that's, you know,

00:23:00.840 that you should be grateful for.

00:23:02.020 Does that whole balance between, you know, the anger and the negative emotion that you

00:23:06.560 turn into positive, does, does that on the one hand and then, and then contentment on

00:23:11.040 the other hand and, and gratitude on, you know, along with contentment, does that figure

00:23:15.640 into your whole concept of aggressive patience?

00:23:19.360 Well, yeah, because here's the thing.

00:23:22.440 First of all, aggressive patience.

00:23:25.120 If you haven't listened before, it's, it's, it's a concept that, that, that I've come up

00:23:29.700 with is, you know, the idea of time is always going to be a factor in your progress and

00:23:34.700 you have to understand that and you have to be patient.

00:23:36.620 And during that lag time, when you're waiting for things to actually materialize, you've

00:23:40.600 got to be aggressive and do every little thing that you possibly can.

00:23:43.180 So that's what aggressive patient means in a nutshell.

00:23:46.260 Um, but yes, you know, there's two sides to being grateful.

00:23:51.280 There's the side of it keeping you sane because you're so aggressive, you know, and you're,

00:23:56.640 you're being frustrated because you're not where you want to be.

00:23:58.840 You're impatient.

00:23:59.640 You want to grow.

00:24:00.440 You want to do this.

00:24:01.620 Let's take a step back and be grateful for what we have and what we have accomplished

00:24:05.560 and the, and the opportunities we do have in front of us is very, very similar to the

00:24:10.020 idea of aggressive patience.

00:24:11.300 Because if you don't, a lot of people will focus on the gratitude so hard that they become

00:24:19.560 content with what they have.

00:24:21.220 You know what I mean?

00:24:22.080 So instead of being aggressive, they just become, uh, you know, they, I think a lot

00:24:29.040 of people tell themselves there, I'm just being patient or I'm just, you know, taking

00:24:32.220 it day by day when in reality, you know, they're just happy where they are.

00:24:36.860 I think a lot of times that happens when they're about to face adversity or they can see adversity,

00:24:41.580 that content behavior comes in.

00:24:43.080 I've just, yeah, I've just, I'll say I'm grateful for being here rather than recognizing

00:24:46.820 that through the tough times, when you focus on solutions rather than problems, which is

00:24:50.780 really the mindset I've found with the most successful people, when you look back on the

00:24:55.740 situations, you may not feel grateful for it then, but some of the nose and rejection

00:25:00.420 I faced in my life, I am so grateful.

00:25:03.560 I mean, I was engaged for 13 hours, 13 freaking hours, right? 0.97

00:25:08.680 Fucking, I'm sorry, Vaughn, before you, before you catch there, I was engaged for 13 hours. 0.98

00:25:12.960 I look back now. 0.99

00:25:14.120 That is the greatest no I've ever heard in my life.

00:25:16.120 I would not be sitting here with all of you.

00:25:18.580 I would not be on this podcast right now if that girl would have said yes past the 13 0.98

00:25:23.820 hours, right?

00:25:24.360 I am so grateful.

00:25:25.640 I think back to 2010, a period of time in business where when I was in the midst of it, I wanted

00:25:30.860 to quit.

00:25:31.500 I felt like I was alone.

00:25:32.760 I'm paying thousands upon thousands of dollars.

00:25:35.300 I mean, I had this wild success in the insurance and investment business, finally hit some hardship.

00:25:40.900 And now when I look back on it, I'm so grateful because it made me human.

00:25:44.540 It made me be able to connect with an audience, to connect with people, to go, I know what

00:25:48.660 it's like to want to just absolutely quit and be done.

00:25:53.420 And then all the people who truly care about you, they're the ones who come out in those

00:25:57.400 moments.

00:25:57.700 They're the ones who pick you up off that mat of life.

00:25:59.840 So I'm grateful I've gone through business adversity.

00:26:02.440 I'm grateful that I heard no after 13 hours from the girl that I was engaged to because

00:26:06.800 it gives you the life that you have.

00:26:08.080 Yeah, man, I think that's when you really have gratitude kind of mastered, you know,

00:26:14.280 is whenever you can look at like even the most negative situations that people would

00:26:18.680 say, oh my God, that's such a huge tragedy.

00:26:21.120 And you could find the good lesson in that.

00:26:24.540 You know what I mean?

00:26:24.940 Which goes into the same thing we talk about with failure when people fail and then they

00:26:29.220 either shuts them down completely or they're able to recognize the lesson they learn and

00:26:34.340 move forward in a productive manner.

00:26:36.200 Gratitude, mastering the idea of gratitude is right along those same tracks.

00:26:42.100 I think, you know, I mean, you have to be able to look to teach yourself to look for

00:26:48.980 the good and you know, I think that's an acquired habit.

00:26:54.320 I don't think it's something people born with, you know, I wasn't always like that, like bad 0.98

00:26:57.620 shit used to happen. 0.96

00:26:58.340 I'd be like, oh my God, you know, this is terrible. 0.97

00:27:01.140 I can't believe this happened, you know, and just like everybody else does.

00:27:04.940 And now when bad, when bad things happen, you know, I almost immediately within, you

00:27:09.920 know, an instant, I start thinking, all right, well, what do we learn about this?

00:27:13.580 What do we, you know, what's, what are we going to use to move forward?

00:27:16.280 Another point to clarify, cause I know you're very clear on this when people misunderstand,

00:27:20.140 like for instance, when you get stabbed, you're not going around and saying, oh, I'm so glad

00:27:24.260 I got stabbed.

00:27:25.000 So you're not necessarily thankful for what happened.

00:27:27.720 You're thankful for the good that came a result of what happened.

00:27:31.080 And so I think that's a, that's a key.

00:27:33.140 I mean, we're not, we're not telling people to go around, you know, I don't know if they

00:27:36.160 lose their job, man, I'm so thankful I left my, lost my job.

00:27:39.160 No, but you can turn it into a productive asset in your personality by figuring out why

00:27:44.260 you lost your job.

00:27:45.800 You know, what can you do to not lose your next job and moving forward with those tools

00:27:51.180 and finding a positive solution, right?

00:27:54.640 That type of mindset Andy's talking about.

00:27:56.700 And then you just have faith and belief that it's going to work out and that you're going

00:28:00.040 to get past the negativity, right?

00:28:03.140 You're not going to live, you're not going to lose your job and then never get another

00:28:07.400 job, right?

00:28:08.340 I mean, for some people they're challenged right now in the workforce, but you just, you

00:28:11.860 can't hold onto it.

00:28:12.640 You got to find ways to move forward and be positive.

00:28:15.240 Right.

00:28:15.560 I think one of the funnier points that you've made on this Andy is another reason you have

00:28:20.340 to be grateful is that if you're the kind of person that's always aggressive, always

00:28:25.000 pissed off that you're not where you need to be, man, nobody's going to want to be around

00:28:29.100 you.

00:28:29.740 Yeah.

00:28:30.160 It's a, I've experienced that personally.

00:28:32.820 Yeah.

00:28:33.100 You know what I mean?

00:28:33.640 It's a, when you're an ambitious person and you're hungry for success and that's all you

00:28:39.020 really are focused on.

00:28:41.280 It can wear people out pretty quick.

00:28:43.680 You know what I mean?

00:28:44.260 Because a lot of people do not have that drive at that same level and you need other

00:28:49.700 people to be successful.

00:28:51.200 If you're going to run a company, you need a team and everybody on your team runs at a

00:28:57.940 different temperature.

00:28:58.740 You know what I mean?

00:28:59.200 Some people run at boiling point like myself. 0.99

00:29:02.420 Some people run at fucking 75 degrees and sunny. 0.98

00:29:05.560 You know what I mean? 0.97

00:29:06.640 You have to figure out how to manage all those different, all those different temperatures.

00:29:10.120 And the reality of it is, is those people who run at 75 degrees and sunny, they're good

00:29:15.760 for you too.

00:29:16.920 You know, just because they're not going crazy on a daily basis, they're able to look at a

00:29:21.840 situation I found, you know, in a very even keel manner and find solutions sometimes more

00:29:27.600 effectively than what you can, because you're so wound up, you know, and you have to be thankful

00:29:32.040 for all those different kinds of people and what they bring.

00:29:34.200 And, you know, I learned a long time ago, I mean, I made a habit of being thankful.

00:29:40.840 You know, my, my, every night before I go to bed, you know, I thank God for everything

00:29:44.220 that I've been blessed with.

00:29:46.100 And every morning when I wake up, I do the same.

00:29:48.260 You know what I mean?

00:29:48.740 When I'm brushing my teeth, I'm, you know, getting out of the shower and brushing my teeth,

00:29:52.100 I start thinking about the things that I'm grateful for.

00:29:55.040 You know what I mean?

00:29:55.580 And, and, and that gets you in a mindset, I feel in a, in a productive mindset to where

00:30:00.520 you're able to walk out the front door balanced, you know, and in a, in a situation where you

00:30:07.460 can make clear decisions and where you can, you can, you know, feel good about, you know,

00:30:12.880 taking that small step forward and not be frustrated about not taking a giant step forward.

00:30:17.380 Um, you know, and it's something I've had to learn, you know, if you're out there listening,

00:30:25.100 if you're an ambitious person, you know what I'm talking about when I say running a boiling 0.98

00:30:28.680 point, you know, it's frustrating not to have a fucking bank account that doesn't have $10 0.98

00:30:33.540 million in it. 0.98

00:30:34.540 You know, it's frustrating to have, you know, uh, not have the houses or the cars or the 0.75

00:30:40.180 fucking company or the respect or whenever you're on your first, you know, five years 0.92

00:30:45.020 in business, it's, you know, but you've got to, you've got to remember that every day is 0.99

00:30:49.960 a step forward.

00:30:50.640 Every day, a day that, that, that you're moving forward and moving ahead. 0.99

00:30:55.320 And you have to remember that this is a marathon, not a fucking sprint. 0.98

00:30:58.600 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:30:59.420 It's just not.

00:31:00.760 And also, I think be grateful for the challenges that are on the path.

00:31:04.380 You don't want the easy path.

00:31:05.460 If you want the easy path, you're never going to achieve these things that you see.

00:31:09.220 The funny thing about the easy path is, is that everybody takes it because it's the

00:31:13.560 quote unquote, the easy path.

00:31:14.640 And the reality of the easy path is there's so many more people on the easy path that

00:31:18.460 it creates more competition. 0.98

00:31:19.820 So if you take the fucking hard path, you might learn, you might be a little bit harder 0.99

00:31:24.760 up front and you might have to learn these lessons in the hard way and get punched in 0.99

00:31:28.140 the face a couple of times, but there's far less people on the hard path than there is

00:31:31.260 on the easy path, which makes it less competition.

00:31:33.900 People forget that.

00:31:35.060 So here's a question I have for both of you guys.

00:31:36.780 We have all seen, we've all experienced the guy who, I don't know, he got into a massive

00:31:45.920 car wreck, you know, and his entire family died and he is scarred, maybe in the face,

00:31:52.020 maybe he lost the use of his limbs.

00:31:54.520 And as you look at that guy, there is some sort of just, I would say almost supernatural

00:32:00.420 gratitude to that guy.

00:32:01.960 Like he's living his life with ridiculous amounts of positivity.

00:32:06.780 Then you contrast that with somebody else who actually has a pretty easy life, who actually

00:32:11.560 makes a pretty good living, has really everything they need.

00:32:14.780 And yet they are just full of complaining, full of bitching. 1.00

00:32:18.880 What literally, what, why is it that one person who experiences so much heartache in life and

00:32:23.980 so much loss can actually respond with gratitude, but the other person who, whose life is full

00:32:29.280 of stuff is like just basically flipping off the world.

00:32:33.220 What, what makes the difference?

00:32:34.820 It's, it's a matter of perspective.

00:32:36.780 You know, if you're the person who's lost both your legs and gone through some serious 0.94

00:32:41.620 shit in a car accident or lost your whole family or whatever, you understand how tough 0.97

00:32:46.760 things really are. 1.00

00:32:47.740 You know, the person who's never been challenged or never been faced with adversity or never 0.99

00:32:51.900 had somebody, you know, or had life just, you know, drop a shit bomb on their head. 0.99

00:32:57.120 They don't know any better. 1.00

00:32:58.240 It's like getting in a fucking, you know, they get in the perfect temperature pool and it's 0.99

00:33:02.180 just perfect their whole life. 0.99

00:33:03.440 You know, whereas the dude with the, with the legs, you know, the, the lost his legs,

00:33:07.380 he's getting in a pool that's 30 degrees. 0.99

00:33:09.200 He's like, fuck dude, I don't want to get that 30 degree pool. 0.99

00:33:11.920 I like that 70 degree pool. 1.00

00:33:13.240 You know what I mean?

00:33:13.820 Yeah.

00:33:14.140 So they have perspective and that's just all it is.

00:33:16.380 You know, I, I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:33:18.260 And I know people on both, both people.

00:33:20.900 I know like we all know both those people, you know, and it's, the reality is, is you

00:33:25.840 don't really know how good you have it until life just beats the shit out of you. 0.72

00:33:29.580 And I think that's what it comes. 0.94

00:33:30.900 I mean, I mean, I think that's what it comes down to.

00:33:33.920 Perspective is the exact word I was going to say.

00:33:35.740 Yeah.

00:33:36.120 It was the exact word I was going to say.

00:33:37.460 It's, you know, my experience with my mother gave me perspective.

00:33:40.720 Right.

00:33:41.120 And there's other things that happened in my childhood.

00:33:43.840 And, you know, some people would look at when they knew my full story and they'd go, oh gosh,

00:33:48.140 I mean, if he was on drugs, drinking, nobody would ever blame me.

00:33:51.940 But you know what?

00:33:52.500 It was the perspective that I got to continue to fight for my mom.

00:33:56.040 Right.

00:33:56.440 I got to continue to fight for bigger things with the talents that I have been given to

00:34:00.240 go out and make a difference and to stay positive.

00:34:02.180 That's a choice.

00:34:03.320 I think of my, my dear friend, John O'Leary is one of the best speakers in the world today.

00:34:07.480 Guy was burned on 99% of his body when he was nine years old, given a half a percent

00:34:12.260 chance of making it through the first night.

00:34:15.420 I mean, the guy has, has no hands yet.

00:34:17.560 You know what?

00:34:18.140 He texts messages.

00:34:19.220 We've been on the road speaking before we were in Atlanta.

00:34:21.540 I'll never forget.

00:34:22.180 We're on a quick layover for heading over to the Carolinas.

00:34:25.640 And he's like, Hey, you hungry?

00:34:27.080 You want a sandwich?

00:34:27.820 And I said, yeah.

00:34:28.520 And he, he pops up, he runs over, gets the sandwich.

00:34:31.180 I mean, the bags are hanging from his own.

00:34:33.380 I mean, but he's like, I'm going to go right.

00:34:35.600 Pays with a credit card.

00:34:36.500 He lets nothing hold him back, but that's his positive choice to say, I don't care what

00:34:41.300 the world threw at me.

00:34:42.660 I'm going to take this perspective and I'm going to make something of my life.

00:34:45.760 I'm not going to walk around having people feel sorry for me.

00:34:48.020 It drives him nuts.

00:34:49.160 If everybody tries to tell him you have a disability, you have this, there's nothing 0.92

00:34:53.280 wrong with that human being.

00:34:54.540 He's one of the most powerful people I've ever met in my life.

00:34:57.060 I think along with that, one of the things I've noticed about people is that they, they

00:35:00.340 don't in those moments, even if something really, really bad happens to them, there's

00:35:04.400 something about them that they, they don't take themselves too seriously.

00:35:07.800 I think Andy, you've told the story before about, well, the whole story about how you

00:35:11.520 got stabbed, but I would love for you to tell briefly the segment of the story where

00:35:16.040 you walked into the grocery store and you were sort of sensitive about, about your face.

00:35:21.040 And then that lady said something to you that was really funny and it was almost like she

00:35:24.740 was poking fun.

00:35:25.700 Well, everybody laughing, dude, everybody used to come to me that I hadn't seen in a while.

00:35:30.440 You know, I had 160 stitches in my face.

00:35:33.500 Okay. 0.99

00:35:34.720 My face was swollen the size of a fucking grapefruit. 0.99

00:35:37.620 All right. 0.99

00:35:38.420 And everybody used to say, they'd either look at the floor or they would look at you with

00:35:42.720 like huge eyes and they say, dude, what happened to your face?

00:35:46.060 So, you know, I worked at a retail counter at our first store.

00:35:50.580 So I'm like dealing with this nonstop.

00:35:52.400 Either people won't look at me, which annoys the fuck out of me. 0.99

00:35:54.920 Like, dude, fucking look at me. 0.99

00:35:56.720 Okay. 1.00

00:35:57.760 Second of all, you know, then it would be like, dude, what happened to your face? 1.00

00:36:03.120 And then I'm like, well, why don't you mind your own fucking business? 0.99

00:36:04.860 So like nobody could do it right for me. 0.99

00:36:07.420 Right.

00:36:07.800 Cause I was pissed off.

00:36:09.000 I was pissed off at the world.

00:36:10.420 And, uh, and, and so, you know, it wasn't their fault.

00:36:14.200 It was the way I was perceiving it.

00:36:15.360 You know, people are curious, you know, or people were uncomfortable.

00:36:18.040 That's not my, that's not them being, that's just them.

00:36:21.640 And, you know, I looked at it as like them insulting me.

00:36:24.160 It's perspective.

00:36:25.020 Right.

00:36:25.560 Right.

00:36:25.800 So I'm going down, I'm going down the grocery cart aisle, uh, or the grocery store aisle.

00:36:31.760 And, you know, I was going around the, uh, around the corner of the grocery store and

00:36:38.060 I bumped carts and, you know, like this lady was coming.

00:36:42.040 Well, I, I didn't know if it was lady or man.

00:36:45.080 We bumped carts.

00:36:46.640 I looked up and it ended up being a lady, but she goes, dude, what happened to your face? 1.00

00:36:52.300 And, and the thing was, is like her face was completely like burned off.

00:36:56.820 Like you could not tell if it was a man or a woman and it ended up being a woman. 0.97

00:37:01.640 But the fact of the matter was she knew that I knew that what people fucking did in the 0.99

00:37:07.660 way they acted. 0.98

00:37:08.340 And she made a joke out of it.

00:37:09.700 You know what I mean?

00:37:10.520 Which shows a great attitude.

00:37:11.560 Oh yeah, dude. 0.99

00:37:12.280 She was cool as fuck. 0.98

00:37:13.300 She survived a plane crash. 0.99

00:37:14.820 She was the only survivor of a plane crash.

00:37:16.620 We taught, I'll never forget talking to her.

00:37:18.420 I wish I still kept in touch with her, but, um, you know,

00:37:22.300 we talked for five, 10 minutes and it's something I'll never forget, but it taught me instantly

00:37:26.220 like, you know, dude, this is perspective, right?

00:37:29.140 It's could be way worse.

00:37:31.160 And here's somebody with the, something that, that I, I perceived as worse than what I had 1.00

00:37:35.320 that put me right in check where it's like, dude, you're being a pussy, you know? 0.99

00:37:39.000 And immediately all the depression, all the frustration, all the judgment of other people 0.99

00:37:43.500 saying what they were saying to me went away.

00:37:45.320 And so where people would now say, you know, those same things like, Hey, what happened to

00:37:49.520 your face?

00:37:49.880 When they look at the ground, I would just tell them what happened.

00:37:52.760 I'd be like, Hey dude, you don't look at the ground, man. 1.00

00:37:54.500 I just got a fucking accident. 0.99

00:37:55.480 It's no big deal. 1.00

00:37:55.960 And I make a joke out of it.

00:37:57.280 People were like, Oh man, you know, and they'd be embarrassed, but it was good because it

00:38:00.980 would cleared up right away because people don't know how to act.

00:38:02.960 You know, you see people, you see people look at people who are in a wheelchair or they

00:38:06.420 have some sort of disease and they're on, you know, and they'll like look at them

00:38:10.800 and they'll look away real quick.

00:38:12.060 Like, dude, that's not, that doesn't, don't do that. 0.99

00:38:14.160 If you, if you fucking do that, don't do that because it makes people feel like shit, 0.98

00:38:17.800 you know, acknowledge them as normal humans because they are normal humans. 0.99

00:38:21.580 The same, I have to say the same applies when you're driving down the road or you're, you're,

00:38:25.540 you're like maybe somewhere in the city and you encounter a homeless person or somebody

00:38:29.260 on the, don't look away.

00:38:30.360 Don't act like they're not there.

00:38:31.440 That to me, that's the same, the same.

00:38:33.060 Look, man, it's natural reaction.

00:38:34.760 People just uncomfortable the situation, but I'm just telling you from the experience I've

00:38:38.880 had in life that it doesn't feel good when you're on the receiving end of that, you 0.98

00:38:42.840 know, shake somebody's hand, say, how you doing, treat them like a normal fucking 0.98

00:38:46.400 person, right? 0.87

00:38:47.700 Well, guys, if you want the show notes for this episode, it's the MFCEO.com forward

00:38:52.000 slash P34.

00:38:53.460 I want to mention just real quickly that we, some of you have noticed we've, we've had

00:38:57.940 a couple of times where we, we don't have episodes.

00:39:00.680 We are gearing up for a really exciting 2016.

00:39:03.640 We've got some, some incredible guests lined up.

00:39:07.220 So, you know, stay tuned in and stay listening.

00:39:10.620 I know you will.

00:39:11.320 We've got a bunch of loyal followers, but I'm just excited about that.

00:39:13.960 And yeah, Andy, as we wrap up, I just wanted to just get your thoughts on two things.

00:39:19.560 One is that you often talk about how gratitude goes hand in hand with another quality that

00:39:24.500 you think is absolutely indispensable to an entrepreneur, and that's humility.

00:39:29.100 And then the second thing is if you could just tell people, share some ways that they

00:39:32.500 can show gratitude to the people that they work with and people that they lead.

00:39:37.180 Before Andy finishes, can I just mention one thing?

00:39:38.820 I just want to say thank you to everybody listening right now.

00:39:42.920 Enjoy the holiday seasons with your family and a big thank you from all of us because

00:39:47.840 of the fire, the conviction, the passion, the interaction you guys show with each other

00:39:52.520 online and that you show to all of us gives us fire and energy to keep going.

00:39:56.600 Yeah.

00:39:56.700 I don't think anybody realizes how much we draw from you guys listening.

00:40:01.100 I mean, a lot of the things that we come to talk about, a lot of things that we bring

00:40:04.280 up, they come from conversations that we've had on Instagram or on Periscope or on Facebook.

00:40:09.920 And we're very fortunate to have had the success that we've had, but I think you guys listening

00:40:18.080 have to understand that that all comes from you guys, not just because you listen, but

00:40:22.500 because you interact, you offer feedback, you poke us in ways that make us respond certain

00:40:27.780 ways.

00:40:28.800 And dude, we're appreciative for that.

00:40:30.680 Absolutely.

00:40:31.000 One of the things that we've said before in this show is your, your peer group determines

00:40:35.400 whether you dominate or do nothing.

00:40:37.160 And I, for one can say that I have upped my game because of the example of the fans and

00:40:42.080 the people that listen to the MFCEO project.

00:40:44.240 You guys have raised the standard.

00:40:45.800 Well, dude, and a lot of times, you know, you guys don't realize like, you know, I have

00:40:49.860 those bad days just like anybody in Vaughn, you have them, Ben, you have them, everybody

00:40:54.640 has them. 0.99

00:40:55.800 There's days where I come to office and I'm like, fuck this dude. 1.00

00:40:58.540 I don't want to do this shit. 1.00

00:40:59.640 I'm fucking tired of it. 1.00

00:41:01.000 You know, for real. 0.98

00:41:02.300 And I'm just being real.

00:41:03.120 Most people won't admit that I get, I get frustrated because I'm, I'm a, I'm a product

00:41:07.460 of what we're talking about in this podcast.

00:41:09.020 I'm so ambitious and so hungry and so on fire all the time that dude, I get burnt.

00:41:14.160 And you know, a lot of times, man, I come in the office and I feel that way too.

00:41:19.000 It never fails.

00:41:20.280 It's really actually kind of eerie how it happens.

00:41:22.900 I'll come into office and I'll go and I'll go, me and Chris, now we share an office because

00:41:26.580 our company has grown to a point where I don't have an office anymore.

00:41:29.580 Believe it or not. 0.94

00:41:30.960 But I go in there and there'll be a fucking like stack of letters from people who listen 0.99

00:41:34.900 to the show and I'll open one up and I'll read it and I'm like, fuck dude, this is why 1.00

00:41:38.360 I do this shit. 1.00

00:41:39.380 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:41:39.920 And for that, I'm a very, very thankful and appreciative because I, and a lot of you guys

00:41:45.060 don't realize that how much that fuels me to keep going down the path that I'm going,

00:41:52.780 you know?

00:41:53.020 So it's, it's, it's a mutual relationship that we have going on here.

00:41:56.540 It's very cool.

00:41:57.560 So, um, but yeah, you know, closing up on gratitude guys here, here's the reality of the situation.

00:42:04.080 You have to have gratitude succeed because if you don't, you will burn out.

00:42:08.480 All right.

00:42:09.020 And if you don't have gratitude, what will happen?

00:42:12.460 Vaughn, you mentioned the humility.

00:42:13.780 What will happen is you'll start believing your own headlines and we all see this.

00:42:17.620 We see entrepreneurs like this all the time. 0.99

00:42:19.320 They become successful and they say shit like, wow, you know, I'm not, I earned this all myself. 0.99

00:42:25.540 I did this all myself. 0.99

00:42:26.680 I'm the, I'm blah, blah, blah.

00:42:28.140 I'm the best at what I do.

00:42:29.340 This, that, the other, and they're always tooting their own horns. 1.00

00:42:31.640 Well, what happens is, is they start believing that shit. 1.00

00:42:35.220 All right. 1.00

00:42:35.460 A lot of people say that shit in the beginning to get them pumped up and give them a sense 1.00

00:42:38.320 of confidence. 0.99

00:42:39.180 But what happens when you start believing it is that you lose the ability to look at how

00:42:43.440 great, how grateful you should be for the people that surround you, how great you should

00:42:47.180 be for the interactions you have, the opportunities you have, the success that you had, and you

00:42:52.500 lose the ability to learn because you think it's all you and you don't realize how much

00:42:56.360 these people in these situations and these circumstances has contributed to your success.

00:43:00.700 So being able to put yourself in a state of gratitude on a regular basis is extremely

00:43:08.000 important because if you don't, you're going to lose the ability to stay humble, which

00:43:11.720 means you lose the ability to learn, which means you lose the ability to stay ahead of

00:43:15.440 your competition.

00:43:16.260 So it's not just a feel good, fluffy thing.

00:43:18.580 It's something you have to have to be successful.

00:43:21.300 Okay.

00:43:22.040 And, and, and if we talk about practical ways to be how, how to shift your mindset into

00:43:27.060 this gratitude, uh, state of mind, you know, it's different for everybody.

00:43:31.620 You know, I, I like to think back at night.

00:43:34.860 I do two things.

00:43:35.620 I, I, I pray for, you know, not for, uh, things, but to say thank you for what I have.

00:43:43.540 You know, a lot of people, you know, the only time they are in like, dude, you know, if you're

00:43:48.680 not religious or you don't believe in God, this is fine.

00:43:51.060 This is my personal thing.

00:43:52.680 But the reality is, is I, I pray and I say, Hey, you know, thanks for all these.

00:43:57.220 And I list out all the things I'm thankful for.

00:43:58.920 And I don't ask for anything.

00:44:00.560 Okay.

00:44:00.920 I just pray for the things that I'm thankful for.

00:44:03.440 And then when I'm done with that, that's when I go into my visualization of how, what

00:44:09.340 my life is going to be like two, three, five years from now.

00:44:12.480 And I visualize myself doing the things that I want to do actually in the moment of my goals.

00:44:17.600 So I, I mixed the gratitude and the ambition together.

00:44:20.820 Okay.

00:44:21.220 At night, the other thing I do is I've made a habit.

00:44:23.820 When I brush my, I've, I've associated brushing my teeth with being grateful.

00:44:27.940 All right.

00:44:28.440 So when I start brushing my teeth in the morning and I look myself in the mirror and I'm brushing

00:44:32.300 my teeth, I'm automatically starting to think about, all right, look, dude, you've used, 0.99

00:44:37.920 you used to sleep on the floor of a fucking retail store. 0.98

00:44:41.020 Now, no matter how frustrated you are with last night's numbers performance or this, it's 1.00

00:44:45.620 going on or this or that you're fucking driving to work in a motherfucking Rolls Royce. 0.99

00:44:50.600 You're doing all right, brother. 1.00

00:44:52.300 You know what I mean?

00:44:52.820 And I start thinking about, you know, my family and my brother and my dad and my mom and the

00:44:57.280 people, you know, the friends I have here at the office, the family I have, you know,

00:45:01.300 the supports me, I mean, and I start to run through all that, you know, and dude, you

00:45:05.780 walk out of the door feeling great.

00:45:07.180 You know what I mean?

00:45:07.860 And it puts you in a state of mind to succeed.

00:45:10.340 All right.

00:45:10.880 And, and, you know, I just thought this would be something good to talk about when Chris was 0.99

00:45:14.620 coming up and everybody caught up in the fucking, you know, buy me shit mindset, dude, be thankful 0.99

00:45:19.960 for what you have. 1.00

00:45:20.780 Look around, have a fucking beer with your family. 1.00

00:45:23.280 If you don't drink beer, have a fucking water. 1.00

00:45:25.500 I don't give a shit, but dude, appreciate the time that you're having. 1.00

00:45:28.740 You know, dude, we're in the greatest time in the history of earth, dude. 0.97

00:45:33.060 There's more opportunity than we could ever have.

00:45:35.320 You know, go to your, you know, go to your family functions, appreciate the time and be

00:45:40.400 grateful.

00:45:41.000 You know, that's what this is about. 1.00

00:45:42.240 It's not about buying shit. 1.00

00:45:43.380 It's not about playing fucking video games. 0.99

00:45:44.920 It's about feeling good about where you are, where you've come from and the opportunities 0.99

00:45:49.140 you have moving forward.

00:45:50.620 And that's that.

00:45:51.140 All I do is work, work, work, work, work.

00:45:52.980 Never run the sidelines.

00:45:54.620 I own too.

00:45:56.160 Never take your day off.

00:45:57.640 I own too.

00:45:58.660 Work, work, work.

00:45:59.460 Work, work.

00:46:00.000 Work, work, work, work.

00:46:00.760 Work, work, work, work.

00:46:01.380 Work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

00:46:02.260 Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work,

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - December 22, 2015

Two Of The Most Powerful Words, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO34

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