Two Of The Most Powerful Words, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO34
Episode Stats
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Summary
On this episode of The MFCEO Project, we talk about how different our childhoods are now compared to when we were growing up. We talk about video games, toys, and other cool things we used to do in the olden days.
Transcript
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Hey guys, this is Vaughn Kohler and you're listening to the MFCEO Project featuring Andy
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Frisella, the man who delivers the truth so heavily that every word he speaks weighs a
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Andy says that two of the most powerful words in the English language are thank and you.
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I'm your host, Andy Frisella, and I'm here with my co-host Vaughn Kohler and Ben Newman.
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It's hard to, here in Missouri, man, right now it's like 70 degrees.
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Those things don't go together for people that live in like traditional climate zones.
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Anyway, so today, today, you know, I was thinking, we were talking before we started about how different
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the childhood experiences now versus like when we grew up, you know, and I know I talk a
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lot about video games and people like, oh, playing video games to waste time and blah,
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Like nowadays, you know, when I was a kid, man, like we'd be out in the yard, like digging
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We'd like, my dad gave us like a box of nails and like a two by four and like we would fucking
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Nowadays, like you show a kid a fucking hammer, he doesn't know what it is.
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But he knows what a fucking thermonuclear weapon is from Call of Duty.
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I mean, I don't have any kids, so I'm asking, you know, you like Ben, you would know,
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I walk in from a trip from speaking or whatever it might be.
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And my son wants that iPad before he wants to give me a hug.
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I mean, I got to straighten that kid out and say, boy, you better come over here and tell
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It's like, yeah, but think about like raising a kid now, you know, you just fucking buy him
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a couple of the, you know, games and fucking let him go.
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And I was wondering, like, do they even sell toy guns anymore?
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I think like laser guns, things that look clearly like.
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Dude, we were baseball players, so we played baseball in the backyard every day.
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We played with a tennis ball and like a stickball bat.
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Actually, here's the question for Andy, and you will lose all credibility if you can't answer
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On the original Tecmo Bowl game, who was the player that was ridiculously better than everybody
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I think it was either Herschel Walker or it was Lawrence Taylor.
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Well, you gave that ball to Bo Jackson and it was game over.
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That, and then when they came out with the next version of it that had Deion Sanders, it
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Like, everybody else was about six times slower than Deion.
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But like, dude, you know when we all played video games when we were kids, we still did
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Now I feel like the kids just fucking play video games.
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And like, what, you know, what is that going to end up being?
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You know, I mean, what is that going to produce?
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I'm picturing Andy's kids opening up their presents on Christmas morning and getting
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They're going to get like a fucking, they're going to get like a tool belt and like a fucking
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Dude, I still walk through Home Depot and buy shit I don't need because it's like cool.
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Dude, if you're a man and you can walk through Home Depot without wanting to buy shit that you
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Vaughn, you probably know from experience I'm right, huh?
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Well, it's taken a while, but I've got it perfected.
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You know, part of what like got me talking about the video games earlier was that we
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have, you know, every year, man, it's, what is it?
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Like it used to be Black Friday was the day Christmas started and Christmas lights went
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Now it's like, you know, October 1st, you're hearing fucking 24 hour day Christmas music
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before it's even Halloween and you're seeing Christmas sales in fucking August.
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I mean, it's just turned into like this huge commercialized, you know, extravaganza to make
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Like I feel like, you know, what I want to talk about today is it goes along with like
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I realize not everybody here is a Christian, but I mean, everybody could get down with like
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being good to one another and having some gratitude for what, you know, you have in life
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and spending time with people that matter and not putting all your focus on material
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I mean, you know, um, and I know the fucking douchebag out there right now.
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So dude, Andy, you drive Lamborghinis to talk about fucking material items.
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I also drove pieces of shit for longer than you've been born.
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The reality of the situation is that, you know, people get lost in the, in the idea of what
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You know, and that's, that's what I wanted to kind of dig into today because I feel like
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as a society, especially when you're a success minded, aggressive, hustle minded person, it's
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easy to let the idea of gratitude slip through your fingers.
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And because you're always focused on what you're going to do next and what you don't
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have and how much progress you need to make that you lose sight of what you have.
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And that's a dangerous place to be because when you get in that place of, of, of losing
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sight of how good you truly do have it, you become pretty miserable because you're in a
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zone of having wanting things that you don't have, whether it be progress, whether it be
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material items or income or whatever, um, and you're not appreciating how good you have
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And it's a, it's a dangerous balance slash slippery slope for, I think a lot of entrepreneurial
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minded people, success minded people where they get in a zone of total frustration because
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they're not where they want to be when in reality, you know, where they are is a thousand
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It doesn't have to do with just gifts or anything.
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I just figured like with Christmas being a couple of days away, it's probably a good
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idea to, you know, bring this topic up because I see it a lot.
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Well, in the spirit of Christmas, you know, you got the Christmas lists.
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I actually just put together a list of all the things that you've said kind of over the
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years about, well, maybe over the year, uh, about thankfulness and gratitude.
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So I'm going to just kind of feed you that list and you, you can, you know, Hey man,
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You know, it's, I just think it's something that people can add fire to the, I mean, you
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Like I, I deal with a lot of guys who come to me completely frustrated and I look at them
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and from an outside point of view and I'm like, bro, you're fucking killing it.
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And they're like completely frustrated because they're unable to be thankful for what they've
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accomplished or what they have or what they're, they've been, you know, blessed with, um, in
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terms of, you know, where they are in life and from where they started, you know what
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You know, some people are like, well, I always want to look far.
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But I found that ultimately that creates a lot of frustration for people.
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I mean, many of you, many of you know, listening that I lost my mom 11 days before my eighth
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She left a journal behind that was where she unleashed her positive mental attitude.
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And she had a part in her journal that said, why did it take me getting sick to appreciate
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all the most important relationships in my life?
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And so it's hard for me to say that, but you know, it's also my mother's transparency.
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That's so powerful to actually write that in the journal, knowing it would come to, you
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Like wherever you are in terms of success for you, you do have to celebrate it.
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Don't spend too much time there because you got to continue to work, but don't forget that
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to count the blessings and to be grateful for the people that are in your life.
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Dude, I had a real, I had an experience a few years ago.
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Um, and it wasn't me getting stabbed, which we've told that story before, but it was,
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uh, I don't know if we've even talked about this before, but I had a, I was getting real
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bad headaches and anxiety and like numbness in my fingertips and just, just weird shit
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Um, with my body, I don't know, it was 2012, right before I got married and, um, I was getting
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And so I went in to the doctor and he didn't know what was going on.
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I went into them, they did a cat scan and they found a mass of my brain that was abnormal.
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They didn't know if it was a tumor, if it was a, uh, assist, what, if it was supposed
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to be there, if it wasn't supposed to be there.
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So for two weeks I had to wait until they could figure out what it was.
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And during those two weeks, I'm thinking like, fuck dude, I got brain cancer.
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And dude, it ended up being a pineal cyst, which apparently you're born with and it's
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just supposed to be there, I guess, on some people.
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Um, and the moral of the story is during those two weeks, dude, I, I remember looking at myself
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in the mirror and thinking, God, dude, you know, look at all, look at all the life experience
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that you've wasted and that you've, that you've not, I don't know, like I just looked around
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at what I, all the shit that everybody else sees that I accomplished.
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I'm like, fuck, that's not even what it's about.
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It was like, it was like almost like, you know, I don't know.
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It was like almost like God's way of putting shit in perspective for me.
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And like saying, Hey dude, you need to like appreciate some of this other shit that you
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And, um, you know, that kind of got me back in line in terms of, of being appreciative
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for, you know, things that other than the bottom line of the company, you know what
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And, um, you know, I'm thankful for that happening because it helped me see that.
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But the truth of the matter is a lot of people never get that wake up.
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A lot of people never get a slap in the face and they have a hard time seeing how good
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Which keeps them in a fucking frustrated, you know, zone where they can't feel good, you
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Last week I went back to Manhattan, Kansas, where I used to live for about nine years
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because one of the guys that had been in my church, he was, dude was like 49 and all
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And, uh, you know, not to continue the, the, uh, the morbid, you know, emphasis on death
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here, but, but I was really inspired cause I went like, I went, I mean, my heart breaks
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for his family and everything, but like this place, the whole church, it was standing room
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I mean, he was an instructor at K state, but really he had lived his life to prioritize
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He had lived his life to, to, to be characterized by the right things, you know, being thankful
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And it, and it's just, I don't know, like I drove home really impacted going, all right,
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Like I want to die having treated people really well.
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I want to have, have committed my life to the right things.
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And, uh, sometimes, I mean, it is morbid, but sometimes like what you say, you had a
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I mean, there's a common thread there and that is, we're not going to be here all, you
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And I think a lot of people lose sight of that.
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And so it's, it's, it's a tough thing to think about sometime, but I, it's, it's important
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Well, the thing, and when we talk about gratitude, like that's what we're talking about,
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Like we're talking about getting in a state or a mind state of gratitude.
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The reality is, you know, this is a success based podcast.
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Um, and having a mindset of gratitude is crucial and important to having success.
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It's not a feel good, fuzzy, you know, uh, butterflies thing.
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Like, you know, I don't, I'm not down with that shit usually, you know?
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And, and the truth of it is, is that if you're not able to, to, to mentally put yourself in
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a state of gratitude on purpose, you're going to have a very frustrating time moving forward,
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which actually contributes to, you know, you either changing your mind or quitting or being
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discouraged or having all the negative emotions that, you know, you have with a struggle because
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So if you can't consciously put yourself into a state of being thankful for where you are,
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the opportunities you have, the successes you've had on demand, which is what we're going
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to talk about here in a little bit, you're going to have a very hard time being successful,
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if not being impossible to be successful, because what's going to happen is you're going
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You're going to, you're going to deal with the struggles.
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You're going to feel like the whole world's against you.
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And you're going to eventually say, fuck this, I'm going to do something else.
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You know, so let's start at the most basic level because I, on the first, the first quote
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It's one I've heard you say again and again, and that is that thank you are the two most
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And I've heard, I've heard you long enough to know that when, when you say powerful,
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you mean they're motivating, they're motivating.
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Like how, how does somebody harness the power of thank you?
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Is that for your own life or is, or I'm sorry, is that just for your own life or is that
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also in the way that you relate to other people and motivate other people and work with them
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It feels good to thank somebody who's doing a good job.
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You know, when you recognize somebody and say, Hey, you know, thank you.
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It helps put you in a place of, of a more steady personality.
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You know, uh, I guess, you know, just, I don't know how, I don't know how to say it,
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Um, but also, you know, if you're in work in a work environment, you know, thank you could
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You know, like when somebody is doing a good job, you know, it's not very practical to
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walk around with fucking $50 bills and say, Hey, here, Hey, here, Hey, here, you know,
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A genuine thank you could be thought of as currency when it comes to like your employees
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or your coworkers or your superiors, because people appreciate being appreciated, you know?
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And a lot of times, you know, especially with like certain employees, you're going to have
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So their idea of success might not be, I'm going to be a millionaire.
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Maybe their idea of success, I'm going to make 50, $60,000 and I'm going to have all
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So whenever you say, thank you, I appreciate you.
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You know, you, you could give a lot of value there without, you know, even more value than
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it would be to say, here's a $10,000 bonus to them.
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Um, but as, as a superior and as, as somebody who is, uh, running a company, you know, learning
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how to say thank you and meaning it, uh, and showing it on a regular basis is a, is extremely
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You know, I think saying it and meaning it is a really, really important.
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Everybody knows when you mean it and when you don't mean it.
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One of the things I try to do is I never, I will never shortchange your shortcut.
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It's like in a text message to people on our team.
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Cause so much business today is done via email or text message.
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I, I am very intentional to never put THX for thanks.
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Like I, I may shortcut some things in terms of shortening them, but I will always spell
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Well, it's, you know, and, and people don't, it's like the phrase, I love you.
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Like people are so used to say it and they don't fucking mean it.
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You know, when you give somebody a firm handshake, you look them in the eye and you say, thank
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I really appreciate the effort that you're putting in.
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Dude, that could be more impactful than a raise.
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It could be more impactful than, you know, recognition amongst the company.
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It just is a, is a genuine thing that makes both parties respect each other more and,
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and feel good and ultimately become more productive together as a team.
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You know, what would you say to the guy who says, Andy, you say, thank you for a gift
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The point is, is that people who do work for you are earning money.
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I mean, if you want to think that way, you're thinking that's the old school way of business.
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The reality of, of the situation nowadays is that there's too many companies that are willing
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to recognize somebody, um, and that understand this level of relation.
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I mean, dude, it used to, you got to think about how business has evolved, man.
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It's evolved from basically, you know, indenture servitude or even slave labor.
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Like, you know, you get paid a penny a week to work for my, and you're fucking lucky to
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Well, it's evolved to where now, you know, if you don't value your employees or you don't
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create a culture of valuing your employees, there's plenty of other options out there.
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There's not everybody here starving, you know, the reality, I mean, fucking government.
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I don't want to get into it, but fucking dude, they pay just as much minimum wage now.
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So if you want to keep your employees in a good place and productive, and I think that's
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Like, you know, people who have that attitude of, oh, well, you're lucky to have a job here
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Well, and if you came to work or if they come to work and you appreciate them and you show
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them value and you show them that they're appreciated, they're going to produce X plus.
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And if you're really good at doing that, they're going to be X plus plus.
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So it's all about what you want to get on your return for investment.
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And to be completely honest, if you're a businessman who thinks like what you just said and you're
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missing out on X plus plus because you're too fucking stubborn to understand the value of
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appreciating people, you're not a good businessman.
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Would you, would you rather put your money in an account that produced 7% interest or
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So I run into a lot of guys who have big giant egos who think that's, you know, dude,
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You're lucky to be in a position to have them work for you.
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So obviously it's entrepreneurial podcast and, and I know that you've had a lot of
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people, and this is to the second point on my list.
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I know you've had a lot of people say, Annie, I'm at my best.
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I'm at my peak when I'm really pissed off, when I'm angry, when I just want to prove people
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And I've heard you say, and this is, you know, the second quote on the list.
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I've heard you say that like anger and getting pissed off, you know, that works a little bit,
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In the longterm, you have to fuel your motivation by gratitude.
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You know, I personally respond good to negative motivation.
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When I'm frustrated, I come up with good ideas.
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That's because I'm good at personally at taking negative emotion and turning it into productive
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So listen to what I just said, taking negative emotion, turning into productive action.
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Huge key for most people that they want to learn how to be successful because things
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And most people take the negative emotion and they go home and they cry and stick their
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So I'm a little different than most people, but, um, you know, as you work on your goals,
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you know, you're always going to be looking forward.
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And you have to think about, are you still going to feel good when all your goals are out of
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This is kind of what I said whenever we were in the, in the beginning of the podcast is like
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successful people are so success minded and so focused on what they don't have yet that
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they ignore everything they do have, which puts you in a state of total frustration of driving
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And if you sit in that space long enough, you're going to quit.
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I know, you know, you're going to have a nervous breakdown.
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You're going to do something, you know, that makes no sense.
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You're not going to be able to keep your strategy together.
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You're not going to be able to keep the respect of your employees.
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Cause like, dude, what happens when you're in that frustrated zone is you come into your
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work and you, you know, you yell at everybody for no fucking reason.
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So it's important to remember on a daily basis, what it is that you have that's, you know,
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Does that whole balance between, you know, the anger and the negative emotion that you
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turn into positive, does, does that on the one hand and then, and then contentment on
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the other hand and, and gratitude on, you know, along with contentment, does that figure
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into your whole concept of aggressive patience?
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If you haven't listened before, it's, it's, it's a concept that, that, that I've come up
00:23:29.700
with is, you know, the idea of time is always going to be a factor in your progress and
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you have to understand that and you have to be patient.
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And during that lag time, when you're waiting for things to actually materialize, you've
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got to be aggressive and do every little thing that you possibly can.
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So that's what aggressive patient means in a nutshell.
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Um, but yes, you know, there's two sides to being grateful.
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There's the side of it keeping you sane because you're so aggressive, you know, and you're,
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you're being frustrated because you're not where you want to be.
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Let's take a step back and be grateful for what we have and what we have accomplished
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and the, and the opportunities we do have in front of us is very, very similar to the
00:24:11.300
Because if you don't, a lot of people will focus on the gratitude so hard that they become
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So instead of being aggressive, they just become, uh, you know, they, I think a lot
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of people tell themselves there, I'm just being patient or I'm just, you know, taking
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it day by day when in reality, you know, they're just happy where they are.
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I think a lot of times that happens when they're about to face adversity or they can see adversity,
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I've just, yeah, I've just, I'll say I'm grateful for being here rather than recognizing
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that through the tough times, when you focus on solutions rather than problems, which is
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really the mindset I've found with the most successful people, when you look back on the
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situations, you may not feel grateful for it then, but some of the nose and rejection
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I mean, I was engaged for 13 hours, 13 freaking hours, right?
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Fucking, I'm sorry, Vaughn, before you, before you catch there, I was engaged for 13 hours.
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That is the greatest no I've ever heard in my life.
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I would not be on this podcast right now if that girl would have said yes past the 13
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I think back to 2010, a period of time in business where when I was in the midst of it, I wanted
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I'm paying thousands upon thousands of dollars.
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I mean, I had this wild success in the insurance and investment business, finally hit some hardship.
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And now when I look back on it, I'm so grateful because it made me human.
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It made me be able to connect with an audience, to connect with people, to go, I know what
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it's like to want to just absolutely quit and be done.
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And then all the people who truly care about you, they're the ones who come out in those
00:25:57.700
They're the ones who pick you up off that mat of life.
00:25:59.840
So I'm grateful I've gone through business adversity.
00:26:02.440
I'm grateful that I heard no after 13 hours from the girl that I was engaged to because
00:26:08.080
Yeah, man, I think that's when you really have gratitude kind of mastered, you know,
00:26:14.280
is whenever you can look at like even the most negative situations that people would
00:26:24.940
Which goes into the same thing we talk about with failure when people fail and then they
00:26:29.220
either shuts them down completely or they're able to recognize the lesson they learn and
00:26:36.200
Gratitude, mastering the idea of gratitude is right along those same tracks.
00:26:42.100
I think, you know, I mean, you have to be able to look to teach yourself to look for
00:26:48.980
the good and you know, I think that's an acquired habit.
00:26:54.320
I don't think it's something people born with, you know, I wasn't always like that, like bad
00:26:58.340
I'd be like, oh my God, you know, this is terrible.
00:27:01.140
I can't believe this happened, you know, and just like everybody else does.
00:27:04.940
And now when bad, when bad things happen, you know, I almost immediately within, you
00:27:09.920
know, an instant, I start thinking, all right, well, what do we learn about this?
00:27:13.580
What do we, you know, what's, what are we going to use to move forward?
00:27:16.280
Another point to clarify, cause I know you're very clear on this when people misunderstand,
00:27:20.140
like for instance, when you get stabbed, you're not going around and saying, oh, I'm so glad
00:27:25.000
So you're not necessarily thankful for what happened.
00:27:27.720
You're thankful for the good that came a result of what happened.
00:27:33.140
I mean, we're not, we're not telling people to go around, you know, I don't know if they
00:27:36.160
lose their job, man, I'm so thankful I left my, lost my job.
00:27:39.160
No, but you can turn it into a productive asset in your personality by figuring out why
00:27:45.800
You know, what can you do to not lose your next job and moving forward with those tools
00:27:56.700
And then you just have faith and belief that it's going to work out and that you're going
00:28:03.140
You're not going to live, you're not going to lose your job and then never get another
00:28:08.340
I mean, for some people they're challenged right now in the workforce, but you just, you
00:28:12.640
You got to find ways to move forward and be positive.
00:28:15.560
I think one of the funnier points that you've made on this Andy is another reason you have
00:28:20.340
to be grateful is that if you're the kind of person that's always aggressive, always
00:28:25.000
pissed off that you're not where you need to be, man, nobody's going to want to be around
00:28:33.640
It's a, when you're an ambitious person and you're hungry for success and that's all you
00:28:44.260
Because a lot of people do not have that drive at that same level and you need other
00:28:51.200
If you're going to run a company, you need a team and everybody on your team runs at a
00:29:02.420
Some people run at fucking 75 degrees and sunny.
00:29:06.640
You have to figure out how to manage all those different, all those different temperatures.
00:29:10.120
And the reality of it is, is those people who run at 75 degrees and sunny, they're good
00:29:16.920
You know, just because they're not going crazy on a daily basis, they're able to look at a
00:29:21.840
situation I found, you know, in a very even keel manner and find solutions sometimes more
00:29:27.600
effectively than what you can, because you're so wound up, you know, and you have to be thankful
00:29:32.040
for all those different kinds of people and what they bring.
00:29:34.200
And, you know, I learned a long time ago, I mean, I made a habit of being thankful.
00:29:40.840
You know, my, my, every night before I go to bed, you know, I thank God for everything
00:29:46.100
And every morning when I wake up, I do the same.
00:29:48.740
When I'm brushing my teeth, I'm, you know, getting out of the shower and brushing my teeth,
00:29:52.100
I start thinking about the things that I'm grateful for.
00:29:55.580
And, and, and that gets you in a mindset, I feel in a, in a productive mindset to where
00:30:00.520
you're able to walk out the front door balanced, you know, and in a, in a situation where you
00:30:07.460
can make clear decisions and where you can, you can, you know, feel good about, you know,
00:30:12.880
taking that small step forward and not be frustrated about not taking a giant step forward.
00:30:17.380
Um, you know, and it's something I've had to learn, you know, if you're out there listening,
00:30:25.100
if you're an ambitious person, you know what I'm talking about when I say running a boiling
00:30:28.680
point, you know, it's frustrating not to have a fucking bank account that doesn't have $10
00:30:34.540
You know, it's frustrating to have, you know, uh, not have the houses or the cars or the
00:30:40.180
fucking company or the respect or whenever you're on your first, you know, five years
00:30:45.020
in business, it's, you know, but you've got to, you've got to remember that every day is
00:30:50.640
Every day, a day that, that, that you're moving forward and moving ahead.
00:30:55.320
And you have to remember that this is a marathon, not a fucking sprint.
00:31:00.760
And also, I think be grateful for the challenges that are on the path.
00:31:05.460
If you want the easy path, you're never going to achieve these things that you see.
00:31:09.220
The funny thing about the easy path is, is that everybody takes it because it's the
00:31:14.640
And the reality of the easy path is there's so many more people on the easy path that
00:31:19.820
So if you take the fucking hard path, you might learn, you might be a little bit harder
00:31:24.760
up front and you might have to learn these lessons in the hard way and get punched in
00:31:28.140
the face a couple of times, but there's far less people on the hard path than there is
00:31:31.260
on the easy path, which makes it less competition.
00:31:35.060
So here's a question I have for both of you guys.
00:31:36.780
We have all seen, we've all experienced the guy who, I don't know, he got into a massive
00:31:45.920
car wreck, you know, and his entire family died and he is scarred, maybe in the face,
00:31:54.520
And as you look at that guy, there is some sort of just, I would say almost supernatural
00:32:01.960
Like he's living his life with ridiculous amounts of positivity.
00:32:06.780
Then you contrast that with somebody else who actually has a pretty easy life, who actually
00:32:11.560
makes a pretty good living, has really everything they need.
00:32:14.780
And yet they are just full of complaining, full of bitching.
00:32:18.880
What literally, what, why is it that one person who experiences so much heartache in life and
00:32:23.980
so much loss can actually respond with gratitude, but the other person who, whose life is full
00:32:29.280
of stuff is like just basically flipping off the world.
00:32:36.780
You know, if you're the person who's lost both your legs and gone through some serious
00:32:41.620
shit in a car accident or lost your whole family or whatever, you understand how tough
00:32:47.740
You know, the person who's never been challenged or never been faced with adversity or never
00:32:51.900
had somebody, you know, or had life just, you know, drop a shit bomb on their head.
00:32:58.240
It's like getting in a fucking, you know, they get in the perfect temperature pool and it's
00:33:03.440
You know, whereas the dude with the, with the legs, you know, the, the lost his legs,
00:33:09.200
He's like, fuck dude, I don't want to get that 30 degree pool.
00:33:14.140
So they have perspective and that's just all it is.
00:33:16.380
You know, I, I know exactly what you're talking about.
00:33:20.900
I know like we all know both those people, you know, and it's, the reality is, is you
00:33:25.840
don't really know how good you have it until life just beats the shit out of you.
00:33:30.900
I mean, I mean, I think that's what it comes down to.
00:33:33.920
Perspective is the exact word I was going to say.
00:33:37.460
It's, you know, my experience with my mother gave me perspective.
00:33:41.120
And there's other things that happened in my childhood.
00:33:43.840
And, you know, some people would look at when they knew my full story and they'd go, oh gosh,
00:33:48.140
I mean, if he was on drugs, drinking, nobody would ever blame me.
00:33:52.500
It was the perspective that I got to continue to fight for my mom.
00:33:56.440
I got to continue to fight for bigger things with the talents that I have been given to
00:34:00.240
go out and make a difference and to stay positive.
00:34:03.320
I think of my, my dear friend, John O'Leary is one of the best speakers in the world today.
00:34:07.480
Guy was burned on 99% of his body when he was nine years old, given a half a percent
00:34:19.220
We've been on the road speaking before we were in Atlanta.
00:34:22.180
We're on a quick layover for heading over to the Carolinas.
00:34:28.520
And he, he pops up, he runs over, gets the sandwich.
00:34:36.500
He lets nothing hold him back, but that's his positive choice to say, I don't care what
00:34:42.660
I'm going to take this perspective and I'm going to make something of my life.
00:34:45.760
I'm not going to walk around having people feel sorry for me.
00:34:49.160
If everybody tries to tell him you have a disability, you have this, there's nothing
00:34:54.540
He's one of the most powerful people I've ever met in my life.
00:34:57.060
I think along with that, one of the things I've noticed about people is that they, they
00:35:00.340
don't in those moments, even if something really, really bad happens to them, there's
00:35:04.400
something about them that they, they don't take themselves too seriously.
00:35:07.800
I think Andy, you've told the story before about, well, the whole story about how you
00:35:11.520
got stabbed, but I would love for you to tell briefly the segment of the story where
00:35:16.040
you walked into the grocery store and you were sort of sensitive about, about your face.
00:35:21.040
And then that lady said something to you that was really funny and it was almost like she
00:35:25.700
Well, everybody laughing, dude, everybody used to come to me that I hadn't seen in a while.
00:35:34.720
My face was swollen the size of a fucking grapefruit.
00:35:38.420
And everybody used to say, they'd either look at the floor or they would look at you with
00:35:42.720
like huge eyes and they say, dude, what happened to your face?
00:35:46.060
So, you know, I worked at a retail counter at our first store.
00:35:52.400
Either people won't look at me, which annoys the fuck out of me.
00:35:57.760
Second of all, you know, then it would be like, dude, what happened to your face?
00:36:03.120
And then I'm like, well, why don't you mind your own fucking business?
00:36:10.420
And, uh, and, and so, you know, it wasn't their fault.
00:36:15.360
You know, people are curious, you know, or people were uncomfortable.
00:36:18.040
That's not my, that's not them being, that's just them.
00:36:21.640
And, you know, I looked at it as like them insulting me.
00:36:25.800
So I'm going down, I'm going down the grocery cart aisle, uh, or the grocery store aisle.
00:36:31.760
And, you know, I was going around the, uh, around the corner of the grocery store and
00:36:38.060
I bumped carts and, you know, like this lady was coming.
00:36:46.640
I looked up and it ended up being a lady, but she goes, dude, what happened to your face?
00:36:52.300
And, and the thing was, is like her face was completely like burned off.
00:36:56.820
Like you could not tell if it was a man or a woman and it ended up being a woman.
00:37:01.640
But the fact of the matter was she knew that I knew that what people fucking did in the
00:37:18.420
I wish I still kept in touch with her, but, um, you know,
00:37:22.300
we talked for five, 10 minutes and it's something I'll never forget, but it taught me instantly
00:37:26.220
like, you know, dude, this is perspective, right?
00:37:31.160
And here's somebody with the, something that, that I, I perceived as worse than what I had
00:37:35.320
that put me right in check where it's like, dude, you're being a pussy, you know?
00:37:39.000
And immediately all the depression, all the frustration, all the judgment of other people
00:37:45.320
And so where people would now say, you know, those same things like, Hey, what happened to
00:37:49.880
When they look at the ground, I would just tell them what happened.
00:37:52.760
I'd be like, Hey dude, you don't look at the ground, man.
00:37:57.280
People were like, Oh man, you know, and they'd be embarrassed, but it was good because it
00:38:00.980
would cleared up right away because people don't know how to act.
00:38:02.960
You know, you see people, you see people look at people who are in a wheelchair or they
00:38:06.420
have some sort of disease and they're on, you know, and they'll like look at them
00:38:12.060
Like, dude, that's not, that doesn't, don't do that.
00:38:14.160
If you, if you fucking do that, don't do that because it makes people feel like shit,
00:38:17.800
you know, acknowledge them as normal humans because they are normal humans.
00:38:21.580
The same, I have to say the same applies when you're driving down the road or you're, you're,
00:38:25.540
you're like maybe somewhere in the city and you encounter a homeless person or somebody
00:38:34.760
People just uncomfortable the situation, but I'm just telling you from the experience I've
00:38:38.880
had in life that it doesn't feel good when you're on the receiving end of that, you
00:38:42.840
know, shake somebody's hand, say, how you doing, treat them like a normal fucking
00:38:47.700
Well, guys, if you want the show notes for this episode, it's the MFCEO.com forward
00:38:53.460
I want to mention just real quickly that we, some of you have noticed we've, we've had
00:38:57.940
a couple of times where we, we don't have episodes.
00:39:03.640
We've got some, some incredible guests lined up.
00:39:07.220
So, you know, stay tuned in and stay listening.
00:39:11.320
We've got a bunch of loyal followers, but I'm just excited about that.
00:39:13.960
And yeah, Andy, as we wrap up, I just wanted to just get your thoughts on two things.
00:39:19.560
One is that you often talk about how gratitude goes hand in hand with another quality that
00:39:24.500
you think is absolutely indispensable to an entrepreneur, and that's humility.
00:39:29.100
And then the second thing is if you could just tell people, share some ways that they
00:39:32.500
can show gratitude to the people that they work with and people that they lead.
00:39:37.180
Before Andy finishes, can I just mention one thing?
00:39:38.820
I just want to say thank you to everybody listening right now.
00:39:42.920
Enjoy the holiday seasons with your family and a big thank you from all of us because
00:39:47.840
of the fire, the conviction, the passion, the interaction you guys show with each other
00:39:52.520
online and that you show to all of us gives us fire and energy to keep going.
00:39:56.700
I don't think anybody realizes how much we draw from you guys listening.
00:40:01.100
I mean, a lot of the things that we come to talk about, a lot of things that we bring
00:40:04.280
up, they come from conversations that we've had on Instagram or on Periscope or on Facebook.
00:40:09.920
And we're very fortunate to have had the success that we've had, but I think you guys listening
00:40:18.080
have to understand that that all comes from you guys, not just because you listen, but
00:40:22.500
because you interact, you offer feedback, you poke us in ways that make us respond certain
00:40:31.000
One of the things that we've said before in this show is your, your peer group determines
00:40:37.160
And I, for one can say that I have upped my game because of the example of the fans and
00:40:45.800
Well, dude, and a lot of times, you know, you guys don't realize like, you know, I have
00:40:49.860
those bad days just like anybody in Vaughn, you have them, Ben, you have them, everybody
00:40:55.800
There's days where I come to office and I'm like, fuck this dude.
00:41:03.120
Most people won't admit that I get, I get frustrated because I'm, I'm a, I'm a product
00:41:09.020
I'm so ambitious and so hungry and so on fire all the time that dude, I get burnt.
00:41:14.160
And you know, a lot of times, man, I come in the office and I feel that way too.
00:41:20.280
It's really actually kind of eerie how it happens.
00:41:22.900
I'll come into office and I'll go and I'll go, me and Chris, now we share an office because
00:41:26.580
our company has grown to a point where I don't have an office anymore.
00:41:30.960
But I go in there and there'll be a fucking like stack of letters from people who listen
00:41:34.900
to the show and I'll open one up and I'll read it and I'm like, fuck dude, this is why
00:41:39.920
And for that, I'm a very, very thankful and appreciative because I, and a lot of you guys
00:41:45.060
don't realize that how much that fuels me to keep going down the path that I'm going,
00:41:53.020
So it's, it's, it's a mutual relationship that we have going on here.
00:41:57.560
So, um, but yeah, you know, closing up on gratitude guys here, here's the reality of the situation.
00:42:04.080
You have to have gratitude succeed because if you don't, you will burn out.
00:42:09.020
And if you don't have gratitude, what will happen?
00:42:13.780
What will happen is you'll start believing your own headlines and we all see this.
00:42:19.320
They become successful and they say shit like, wow, you know, I'm not, I earned this all myself.
00:42:29.340
This, that, the other, and they're always tooting their own horns.
00:42:31.640
Well, what happens is, is they start believing that shit.
00:42:35.460
A lot of people say that shit in the beginning to get them pumped up and give them a sense
00:42:39.180
But what happens when you start believing it is that you lose the ability to look at how
00:42:43.440
great, how grateful you should be for the people that surround you, how great you should
00:42:47.180
be for the interactions you have, the opportunities you have, the success that you had, and you
00:42:52.500
lose the ability to learn because you think it's all you and you don't realize how much
00:42:56.360
these people in these situations and these circumstances has contributed to your success.
00:43:00.700
So being able to put yourself in a state of gratitude on a regular basis is extremely
00:43:08.000
important because if you don't, you're going to lose the ability to stay humble, which
00:43:11.720
means you lose the ability to learn, which means you lose the ability to stay ahead of
00:43:18.580
It's something you have to have to be successful.
00:43:22.040
And, and, and if we talk about practical ways to be how, how to shift your mindset into
00:43:27.060
this gratitude, uh, state of mind, you know, it's different for everybody.
00:43:35.620
I, I, I pray for, you know, not for, uh, things, but to say thank you for what I have.
00:43:43.540
You know, a lot of people, you know, the only time they are in like, dude, you know, if you're
00:43:48.680
not religious or you don't believe in God, this is fine.
00:43:52.680
But the reality is, is I, I pray and I say, Hey, you know, thanks for all these.
00:43:57.220
And I list out all the things I'm thankful for.
00:44:00.920
I just pray for the things that I'm thankful for.
00:44:03.440
And then when I'm done with that, that's when I go into my visualization of how, what
00:44:09.340
my life is going to be like two, three, five years from now.
00:44:12.480
And I visualize myself doing the things that I want to do actually in the moment of my goals.
00:44:17.600
So I, I mixed the gratitude and the ambition together.
00:44:21.220
At night, the other thing I do is I've made a habit.
00:44:23.820
When I brush my, I've, I've associated brushing my teeth with being grateful.
00:44:28.440
So when I start brushing my teeth in the morning and I look myself in the mirror and I'm brushing
00:44:32.300
my teeth, I'm automatically starting to think about, all right, look, dude, you've used,
00:44:37.920
you used to sleep on the floor of a fucking retail store.
00:44:41.020
Now, no matter how frustrated you are with last night's numbers performance or this, it's
00:44:45.620
going on or this or that you're fucking driving to work in a motherfucking Rolls Royce.
00:44:52.820
And I start thinking about, you know, my family and my brother and my dad and my mom and the
00:44:57.280
people, you know, the friends I have here at the office, the family I have, you know,
00:45:01.300
the supports me, I mean, and I start to run through all that, you know, and dude, you
00:45:10.880
And, and, you know, I just thought this would be something good to talk about when Chris was
00:45:14.620
coming up and everybody caught up in the fucking, you know, buy me shit mindset, dude, be thankful
00:45:20.780
Look around, have a fucking beer with your family.
00:45:25.500
I don't give a shit, but dude, appreciate the time that you're having.
00:45:28.740
You know, dude, we're in the greatest time in the history of earth, dude.
00:45:33.060
There's more opportunity than we could ever have.
00:45:35.320
You know, go to your, you know, go to your family functions, appreciate the time and be
00:45:44.920
It's about feeling good about where you are, where you've come from and the opportunities
00:46:02.260
Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work,