Two Things You Can Do Right Now To Be Happier and More Successful, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO267
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, I talk about one of the biggest things I have struggled with over the course of my life and how it has helped me grow and become the person I am today. I think we all have a voice inside of us that tells us we need to be better than we are. It can be a powerful thing, but it can also be a hindrance.
Transcript
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I can stack them hundreds to the roof. I ain't stopping till they stack to the moon.
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Without me, my family wouldn't have food. Anybody go against me gotta lose.
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What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am the
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motherfucking CEO. Guys, today is Thursday Thunder and I'm happy to be back from Russia.
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From those of you that were following me on Instagram stories and thought I was in Russia
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because I told you I was in Russia. But the truth is I was actually in Denver. And you're
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probably wondering why the fuck I said I was in Russia. Well, I just like to fuck with people
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sometimes. And I took off and I posted when I was taking off on my story. And then I posted
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like two hours later landing at Denver where there was snow. And I got like 30 DMs from
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people saying, dude, where is that? Russia? And I'm like, what the fuck? How the fuck do
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you get in Russia for two fucking hours on the plane? So I decided that this would be a good
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time to just fuck with everybody. So I pretended for a couple of days that I was in Russia, which
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I wasn't. But I will say this. I did enjoy my time in Denver. What a beautiful city that
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is. 300 plus days of sunshine a year. I had a great time. I did some business, got to see
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a little bit of the city, see a little bit of the mountains. But it was awesome, man.
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You guys in Denver, you guys are truly, truly blessed to live in a city like that.
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Now, with that being said, something happened when I was in Denver that really, it happens
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a lot, but this really stuck with me. I was having a conversation at the hotel I was at
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with one of the guys who was a bellhop at the door. Really cool dude. He was there every
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day I was there and we had a little conversation. And we finally, on the last day that I was there,
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he's like, well, what do you do? And I told him what I did. And he told me about a little
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bit about what he did. And then he told me he had a podcast and was, you know, doing all
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these things. I'm like, oh, dude, I have a podcast too. And he's like, oh, really? Which
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is it? And I told him about it and he looked it up and he was like, holy shit, man. You're
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like the number one business podcast, which by the way, thank you guys for making us the number
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one business podcast. That was pretty cool. But he was blown away. And he, we started
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talking and he started telling me how, you know, man, I wish I could get my podcast up
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there. You know, you must be just really good and really talented at speaking. I struggle
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with this and I struggle. And we had this conversation and it was short, but it got me thinking. And
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what I started thinking about was this, you know, one of the biggest things that I've struggled
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with over the course of my life. And it's, it doesn't matter where I was. Um, and I want
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to say this because I want you guys to understand that this isn't just you, it's all of us. But
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one of the biggest things that I've struggled with, no matter if I was in the beginning of
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business, if I was, you know, playing sports in high school, if I was, uh, you know, where
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I'm at now, it doesn't matter. I've still always felt this way and it can serve you, but
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it can also hurt you. Um, and I'll explain that here in a second, but here's the thing,
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all of us, no matter who you are, we all on the inside have that little voice that tells
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us that everyone else is more talented, that everyone else is more gifted, that everyone
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else is smarter and more capable than we are. And we're, we're very good at justifying
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that as truth because we look at people who have massive success, whether that be, you
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know, monetary success or, you know, they've got a top podcast or whatever they've, whatever
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they are good at. We just look at these people and we think, man, they've got some shit that
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I don't have. And I do that too. I do that. I still do it. I still do it. And that I think
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it serves me. I know it serves me at this point in my life because I have gotten pretty
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good. So I still assume I'm not very good, which keeps me hungry. But in the beginning,
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when you're not successful, having that voice and not understanding that it's normal to have
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that voice is very detrimental to success. And it's something that I think a lot of you
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guys really struggle with. You struggle with your own dialogue internally with how you relate
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to other people, because we're constantly measuring ourselves against other people, whether it's
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right or wrong. I happen to think it's very right, but you know, all the, you know, it's
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popular now to say that that's not okay. Don't compare yourself to anyone but yourself. Come
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on, dude. That's like, fuck. That might be true once you get to a certain level, but in
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the beginning, guess what? A very good indicator of how you're doing at life is to look around
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and fucking see what everybody else is doing. That's just the truth. Okay. This shit is competition.
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All right. And eventually when you develop some skills and you get better and you get stronger
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and you get smarter and you get more skills, yes, you can start to evaluate yourself, um,
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more mostly against yourself. And that's, that's true. I mean, that's where I'm at in life right
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now. Like I don't really look at other people and think like, Oh, you know, I'm going to compete
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against that person as much as I did when I was younger. Now I just think like, dude, am I getting
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better or am I staying the same and getting worse? Uh, and by the way, staying the same and getting
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worse are the same thing because we're on a moving scale. And if you're not getting better,
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you are getting worse. All right. So I always, you know, try to maintain, um, a very honest
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look at myself and I know when I'm not moving forward and I know when I am moving forward,
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but the thing that, you know, in the beginning, the truth is, is like, dude, you, it's, it's
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a very honest, true measuring stick to compare yourself against your peers. And, you know, for
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people to say that, you know, you shouldn't do that. I just don't buy into that stuff. Um, I
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think a lot of people, and I know you guys know this too. A lot of the things that are
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said out there right now are said to make you feel good. And the truth is you shouldn't
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feel good until you earn feeling good. Um, but that's neither here nor there really.
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The truth of this is this, you have to quit selling yourself short and you have to quit
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looking at everybody else and saying, man, that guy's got more skills than me, more talent
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than me, more opportunity than me, because we can do that our whole lives. Cause there's no
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actual way to measure that shit. Right? So, you know, unless we're doing a physical sport
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where like this dude can run a 40 and four, three, and you know, you're never going to
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break five seconds. That's just a fucking fact. Uh, that guy's got more talent than you,
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but the, but the truth is he probably worked a lot harder to get that too. In most cases.
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Um, but we as a society, cause I was talking to this dude and he was smart, like real smart.
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I could tell he was smart and he had good charisma, good energy. Like one of those people
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that you instantly liked. And, um, I could tell he had it, but he didn't believe he had
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it because he's looking at other people who have done what he's trying to do and he's
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discounting his own abilities. And guys, that is such a dangerous trap to fall into. You
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know, humility is a great thing, but not when it's like to the point where you're telling
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yourself, you don't have what it takes. The rest of the world is going to tell you, you
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don't have what it takes. You don't have to tell yourself that too. And quite honestly,
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it's just not true. You guys don't truly understand how close many, many, many times
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I was to just being a regular dude out there working construction. And by the way, if that's
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you total respect, dude, because that's, that's real shit. I appreciate people that work, uh,
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for a living like that, but I'm using it as a contrast to where I'm at now. And guys,
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there were so many times where things, you know, I could have made a decision to go this
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way and I could have made a decision to do, to not do these things or to just quit. And
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I would have been that. And you guys would never fucking hear from me. Right. And that's,
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that's the difference. You know, a lot of people look at like an average person and they
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look at people who have massive success and they think there's these huge oceans of disparity
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when it comes to skills and talents and smarts. And there's not, it's a few decisions that you're
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going to make. It comes down to a very few decisions, decisions when you're, you're in the decision
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usually is you telling yourself, you know what? I don't think I have what it takes to be a public
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speaker. And, you know, and then your other, you agrees with it and you could have ended up being
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the greatest public speaker that ever lived. Okay. I don't know what it, I don't think I have what it
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takes to build a multimillion dollar business. And then you agree with it. And then you decide to
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just, you know, go work at McDonald's and guys, that's the difference. It's these little bitty,
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tiny decisions that come down to an argument with our internal self that ultimately decide what
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path we're going to be on. And the thing you guys have to understand is that the best people in
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the world, the best people in the world still have this. They still look around, they still look at
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other people and they think, man, that guy really has a gift, you know? And I think it's, I think
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it's interesting because the truly, truly high level successful people all do this shit and the
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pretenders, the pretend successful people think they're the fucking best. Okay. And that's why
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they never get any better. All right. So guys, when you think about yourself and you, and you look at
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other people, you cannot look at them and say, he's more talented. He's more gifted. He's smarter.
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He's more capable. You have to look at them and understand that maybe that guy is just making better
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decisions with himself. Maybe that person is just not listening to that inner voice. Maybe that person
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is just not letting that inner voice take them down a notch, so to speak, and put them where everybody
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else is. Okay. And this goes hand in hand with another thing that has affected me my whole life
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and I've struggled with is this guys, a huge mistake that you're going to make is assuming that everyone
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else thinks like you think. I see this all the time, especially with leaders, leaders when they're
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running a company, oftentimes lead by what they think, not by how their individual employees
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think. And I'm going to tell you right now, if you want to be successful at a much, much, much faster
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rate, you need to realize right now that there are people that think really an innumerable amount of
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different ways than you. And most of your employees, I bet you probably have one employee, maybe that kind of
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things like you, but you've been running your company. You've been conducting yourself as a
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manager. You've been conducting yourself as a leader, as if all of them understand the same shit
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that you see. And we all see the world from a different worldview. We all grew up in different
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circumstances. We all had different experiences happen. We all respond to different kinds of
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conversation or stimulus. Okay. And to be successful in business, you don't have to be an expert at
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communicating in all these different ways. You can get miles and miles and miles and miles ahead
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of your competition by just understanding this. Not everybody thinks the way you think and understanding
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it about your customers and also understanding it about your employees. Okay. So you need to really,
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I mean, dude, I'm telling you, you are miles ahead of everybody else by just accepting that one point.
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I think I just figured that out maybe like two, three years ago. Okay. So I'm still trying to figure
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out as a leader, how to communicate as a marketer, how to communicate to my customers in ways that matter
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to them in ways that they respond to. And this goes for your employees and your customers. And guys,
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I'm going to tell you right now, the biggest mistake that's going to hold you back in business
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is going to be to assume that everybody thinks just like you. This is why when you go to the
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fucking mall or you go to the grocery store and you see some dumb ass going down the wrong way,
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you know, like, dude, when you go down the fucking grocery aisle, I'm sorry. To me,
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it's just like traffic. If you're going, if you're going the right, you stay to the right.
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All right. And maybe if you're on one of the other countries where they drive on the left,
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you drive down the fucking aisle on the left. And then I always go to the grocery store and I see
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someone coming down the aisle the wrong way. And I'm looking at him like, dude, you must be the
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dumbest motherfucker on the face of the earth. That's what I think. And then I stopped myself
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and I'm like, maybe this dude's from Europe. I don't fucking know. But the point is, is that
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your life will not, you will not only become a better leader, you will become a happier person by
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just understanding and accepting that people don't think like you. And if you're in marketing,
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this is a must understand if you want to break into the eight, nine figure range. I mean, dude,
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you can do seven figures marketing to people that think just like you. Okay. But if you want to
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build a big brand, you want to build a big company, which I hope you do, you're going to have to
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understand and attract people from all different kinds of communications. So here's the thing, guys,
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I'm just offering you these two bits here on Thursday. And it's not, it wasn't even really
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thunder. This is like more like Thursday thoughts. We'll just call it that. But here's the deal.
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One, stop selling yourself short on everybody, you know, having things in more abundance than you.
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It's just not true. It's a cop out. You know, it's a cop out and you need to catch yourself when
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you're telling yourself that. Two, and by the way, here's a, here's a pro tip on that. When you do
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that, when you look at someone and you say, fuck dude, I really appreciate this about them and they're
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so good and I don't have this. What do you think you should do? I would automatically go do something
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that would improve that skill at that moment. Like maybe you meet somebody who knows a lot
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about, you know, something you're interested in. You're like, Oh, that guy's so smart about
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that. Well, or maybe the motherfucker just read a little bit about it. So what did you do?
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Go into Google and start reading about that and up your game in that level. Okay. And you can do
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this with anything. Um, but for the first thing is quit thinking that everybody, uh, you know,
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has more than you cause they fucking don't. Every single person out there that is massively
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successful still doubts their skillset at some point. And honestly, as you become successful,
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it starts to serve you. But when you're younger and you're in the entrepreneurship journey,
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it's going to hurt you. Okay. So you need to understand that your skills are, um, assets
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that you can develop just like other people have developed them. All right. Just got to put in
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the work. You can't tell yourself, Oh, I don't have that. And then just fucking quit. That's how
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everybody ends up in a place they don't want to be. All right. And two, the other thing is,
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is quit assuming that everybody thinks like you quit assuming that everybody sees things the way you
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see them. And you know what, when people, you know, say things online or say things to you that
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you don't agree with, you don't have to fucking argue with them. That's a good opportunity for you
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to train yourself and say, Hey, you know what? That person clearly grew up in a different way,
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had developed a different worldview than I do. And maybe try to understand it a little bit,
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because when you start to understand where other people are coming from, it makes it a lot easier to
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manage, be, be happy and see sell shit to them. Okay. So that's that. All right. One,
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you have enough shit. You have enough skills. You have enough ability. You have enough
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of everything you need. You just got to develop those things. And to learn to be patient and listen
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and understand different worldviews. It's going to make your life better. It's going to make you
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happier. It's going to make you stronger and it's going to make you more money.