REAL AF with Andy Frisella - June 08, 2017


You Need To Be Direct, with Andy Frisella - MFCEO152


Episode Stats

Length

15 minutes

Words per Minute

184.64809

Word Count

2,780

Sentence Count

179

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

In this episode, we talk about the importance of being a direct communicator and how to get the point across in order to be successful in your career and in your life. You can't waste time trying to fluff around people's feelings, you have to actually get your point across!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 What is up guys? You're listening to the MFCEO Project. I'm Andy. I'm your host and I am
00:00:10.860 the motherfucking CEO. Guys, if this is your first time listening, welcome. This is an
00:00:18.600 entrepreneurial self-development, personal development podcast. A lot of the principles
00:00:24.140 we talk about are going to directly have to do with your career or how you can become
00:00:29.660 better in your life. That doesn't matter if you're an entrepreneur or if you're a guy who
00:00:35.840 works within a company, the structure of a company, if you're somebody who's wanting to
00:00:40.940 start a business, if somebody works at McDonald's and you're thinking about doing your own thing,
00:00:44.580 or if you're somebody that works at fucking McDonald's, you just want to be good at what
00:00:47.820 you do. While this is considered an entrepreneurial podcast, realize that being an entrepreneur
00:00:54.380 is a cultural mindset that helps you improve across all areas of life. And that's the things
00:01:01.980 that we talk about here on the podcast. Guys, today, before I get into what we're going to talk
00:01:09.520 about today, I want to talk to you real quick about what I would like for you guys to do for me.
00:01:15.480 Um, it's very, very important in our podcast rankings that you guys subscribe to the podcast.
00:01:23.000 Okay. So if you guys could go on iTunes and you could actually subscribe to the podcast,
00:01:27.100 it would be very much appreciated. And also leave us a review. We don't get paid for this. We don't
00:01:32.720 ask for this. Um, in fact, I personally spend a lot of money to do this. Uh, you know, Tyler doesn't
00:01:39.660 work for free. Vaughn doesn't work for free. Um, and we give a lot of value. So guys, my,
00:01:46.040 my deal with you is this is if you find value in the podcast, if it helps you, if it helps you
00:01:51.280 improve, it helps you think differently. If it helps you in any way possible, please actually
00:01:56.300 subscribe. And then also please take a minute to leave us a review. It matters a lot for us.
00:02:02.080 So thank you guys for that. Now, what I want to get into today is very, very important because I
00:02:08.220 feel like it is an area of, uh, you know, life career, um, that most people struggle with
00:02:18.380 and it's, it's communication. Okay. Um, a lot of people have trouble communicating because
00:02:26.380 they feel like if they're communicating, they're being confrontational. All right, guys, there
00:02:32.480 is nothing confrontational about being direct. There's nothing confrontational about saying
00:02:37.960 exactly what you think. There's nothing confrontational about communicating some with
00:02:44.200 someone in a direct way. Okay. In fact, if you're in the right organization, that's going to be highly
00:02:51.660 valued. If you're in the wrong organization, it might be looked down upon, but ultimately don't
00:02:58.860 you want to be in the right organization or don't you want to build the right culture in your,
00:03:02.400 in your organization? I know I do. And I know that the way you do that is by communicating
00:03:08.740 directly. And I want to talk to you guys about that for just a second. You know, normally on
00:03:13.460 Thursday thunder, we talk about motivation. We talk about, uh, you know, basically how to get your
00:03:18.300 shit together, how to be more productive, how to think differently. This is more practical,
00:03:22.660 but I think it's important and it doesn't need to, you know, be an hour long podcast. All right,
00:03:27.640 guys, you have, if you're going to be successful in life, you've got to learn to be direct in your
00:03:33.080 communication. You can't waste time trying to fluff around people's feelings. You can't waste time
00:03:39.880 trying to beat around the bush. You can't waste time trying to get the message across without actually
00:03:46.160 saying the message. All right. You've got to be direct. You've got to get the point across and
00:03:51.680 you've got to, if you're somebody who has always had trouble with this, it's going to feel weird at
00:03:55.680 first. You're going to feel awkward and you're going to feel confrontational. It's going to feel
00:04:00.440 like you're confronting people, even though you're not, when you start being direct after spending a
00:04:06.520 lifetime of being a passive communicator. Okay, guys, you need to start practicing this. You need
00:04:15.260 to start practicing this on a daily basis. All right. Um, and a couple of things you can do here
00:04:20.780 to help with this is this one, a realize that when you communicate directly, you're saving yourself
00:04:28.440 time. You're saving the other person time and you're getting the point across right away. And
00:04:32.520 the right kind of people are going to value that. All right. Number two, when you communicate directly,
00:04:39.540 you are stating a clear expectation. And the other person that you are communicating with is going to
00:04:47.880 understand that expectation in a very precise way. That means when you tell someone, Hey, I expect
00:04:54.800 this to be done this way, uh, in this timeframe, uh, and it needs to be done exactly how I tell you this
00:05:03.740 right now, you're going to get exactly what you asked for. And if you don't, you could deal with it
00:05:08.580 because the expectations weren't, were made clear. Now, in most situations, people, you know,
00:05:15.380 they give 70% of the info they want and they don't communicate directly. And then what happens
00:05:20.740 is the person goes off and does the project. It comes back and it's not what you wanted. And then
00:05:25.080 you're upset with the person. Then they're upset because they thought they're giving you what they
00:05:29.840 wanted. And it just creates a total clusterfuck of confusion. Okay. Why are people not direct?
00:05:36.760 Why are people have a trouble being direct? Well, I'll tell you why, because society has become
00:05:42.040 so pussified and so soft and so, uh, you know, accommodating to everyone's point of view and
00:05:52.180 everyone's feelings and everyone's, you know, wishes and wants that when you communicate directly
00:05:58.400 now, you're going to be perceived as an asshole. You're going to be perceived as a dick. You're going
00:06:05.080 to be perceived as someone who's a jerk. You're going to be, you're going to be told that you're not a
00:06:09.640 people person. When in reality, guys, I would argue by communicating directly, you are going to
00:06:16.180 eliminate the time and the progression of someone else's career because you are shortening that
00:06:23.360 time span by being direct, being more efficient, getting things done, which makes you a lot more
00:06:28.360 of a people person because you actually fucking care about the progression of the people in your
00:06:34.700 organization. And that can go for a manager and go for an owner and go for any level of somebody
00:06:39.740 who's a leader in an organization. So guys, when you communicate direct, I would argue that you're
00:06:46.260 more of a people person than somebody who flip flam flip flams around and flounders around with their
00:06:51.140 communication. All right. Think about it guys. What kind of communication do you prefer? Do you want
00:06:58.000 somebody to share their expectations exactly with you? Or would you rather someone give you 70% of the
00:07:03.940 truth and you have to figure out the rest of the 30%. All right. You can't help it. If someone's
00:07:10.040 too big of a pussy to handle direct communication, you can't help it. If someone gets their feelings
00:07:16.140 hurt because you're simply direct and they're that fucking delicate in reality, the best thing that
00:07:21.820 could happen to them is for you to help callous them up because the real world doesn't give a fuck
00:07:26.700 how offensive or how hard or how direct communication is. You just deal with the facts. You deal with
00:07:33.780 reality. You know, the real world isn't going to soften its message for someone just because they
00:07:38.780 were raised in a household and a school program that was never direct with them, never held them
00:07:44.220 accountable and always made them feel like their feelings matter. In the real world, guys, your
00:07:47.920 feelings don't fucking matter. They just don't. Okay. In the real world, you are going to get stomped on.
00:07:53.340 In the real world, you're going to get punched in the face. And by being a direct communicator,
00:07:56.800 you're helping people understand that even though that happens, it's okay. All right. And I can tell
00:08:03.420 you this, you know, I'm a very direct communicator. I communicate very directly and far in a way,
00:08:09.280 the response is much more appreciative and, and respectful and thankful for that kind of
00:08:17.120 communication than it was before I really became a direct communicator. You know, I wasn't always this
00:08:21.580 way. I became this way. I taught myself to be this way. All right. For the first, you know,
00:08:27.440 10, 12 years I was in business, I used to try to manipulate people's feelings to get them to see
00:08:32.860 what it is I wanted them to see and do what I wanted them to do and be, you know, try to like
00:08:37.840 convince them. That's not your job as a leader. Your job as a leader is to make the fucking decision
00:08:42.780 and put the fucking action in play to make that decision materialize. Your decision, you're,
00:08:48.760 you're, you know, this whole thing of like, everybody's got to buy in and everybody's got
00:08:52.900 to do this and everybody's got to do that. Let me tell you something on a great, a great communicator
00:08:58.700 will get buy-in from their employees because they're good communicator. But you know what,
00:09:03.000 when you first start becoming a direct communicator and you first start, especially when your business
00:09:08.380 is not established saying you're going to do this, or you're going to do that, or putting out these
00:09:12.500 big dreams and big goals, your employees are going to look at you like you're fucking crazy.
00:09:16.220 They're not going to believe in you because you're not proven. Okay. And when you communicate in a way
00:09:22.080 where you're trying to convince them, you're delaying the, the, the result that you're after
00:09:27.760 because it's going to be impossible to convince them. So you've got to step up. You've got to be
00:09:32.100 the leader. You've got to say, Hey, this is what we're doing. I know you might not believe in it
00:09:36.760 right now, but you'll believe in it in six months whenever you see this fucking happen.
00:09:40.860 And let me tell you, there's nothing more powerful than that because when you have someone who you
00:09:45.940 both acknowledge doesn't believe in your plan and then it goes out and happens, you know,
00:09:50.980 they will trust you from that point forward usually. So you have a situation where you can
00:09:55.140 earn that trust and that that's, that's very effective in business long-term. Now guys,
00:10:00.520 am I saying go out and be an asshole? No, I'm not saying go out and be an asshole. Am I saying go out
00:10:06.760 and disrespect your people? No, I'm not saying go out and disrespect your people. What I'm saying
00:10:11.960 is communicate directly, tell people exactly what you expect and then put them in play to go
00:10:19.860 accomplish those tasks. You know, there's all kinds of people in the world. And one of my biggest
00:10:25.460 failures as a leader has always been that I was not direct enough, which is why I've become very direct
00:10:32.540 because it works much better. Okay. I used to always spend a lot of time trying to convince
00:10:37.500 people and trying to ask people and trying to, you know, and then finally I embraced my role as a
00:10:42.180 leader and I said, you know what, you're going to fucking go do this. And then you're going to feel
00:10:46.800 good about it because you're going to see that I was right. And I took my role as leadership more
00:10:51.540 serious and I went about it more serious and I went about it more direct. And guess what happened?
00:10:56.480 Our productivity went up, our growth went up, people moved up, we create new careers,
00:11:01.420 everybody's make more money and everybody's fucking happy. All right. So you have, and it
00:11:06.100 all starts with communicating directly, you know, just because the politically correct thing out
00:11:11.040 there right now is to fucking pussyfoot around the issue and not offend anybody and this and that,
00:11:16.460 that has no place in business. That has no place in business. You should think of it as a fucking
00:11:21.600 battle. You know, we're playing, we're playing a game against a hundred other companies, a thousand
00:11:26.060 other companies that we're trying to get a market share against. And we've got to be efficient.
00:11:31.020 We've got to be effective and you've got to step up and be the fucking man that calls the
00:11:36.140 fucking shots. And far too many of you guys, CEOs and managers and leaders are not taking
00:11:42.640 that initiative. And the reason you don't take that initiative is a, you're afraid to communicate
00:11:47.020 directly and B you don't do the shit that you fucking ask your employees to do. You don't lead
00:11:55.400 by example. You don't go out there and try to do everything they do. Instead, you try to
00:12:00.820 utilize them as little worker bees and you sit with your fucking feet on your desk. And
00:12:05.620 you know what? I don't care how direct you are. If you fucking operate like that, you'll
00:12:09.680 never have your people's respect. So guys, you have to communicate direct and you have
00:12:14.740 to be willing to do what you ask your people to do. And you have to be able to do it better.
00:12:19.060 And if you can remember those two things and you consistently put those things in play,
00:12:23.800 your business will grow. Your career will grow. Your, your confidence will grow. Your respect will
00:12:31.080 grow. Everything will grow guys, because everybody appreciates direct communication. Now there's going
00:12:37.700 to be people out there when you start doing this and be like, Oh, what's up your ass? Are you in a
00:12:41.140 bad mood? No, I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just trying to get shit done.
00:12:43.600 You know, it's not, Oh, you know what? Why are you so crabby today? I'm not crabby. Our job here
00:12:50.880 is to do this and I'm trying to get this done. Now let's go get this done. You understand that
00:12:55.840 work is not fucking social hour. It's not donuts around the fucking coffee machine or water cooler.
00:13:02.100 Work is about a mission. It's about accomplishing something. And the way you accomplish shit is by
00:13:06.420 having a clear cut, clear cut plan with direct communication. You sir, go do this. You sir,
00:13:12.840 go do this. You ma'am, go do this. And we'll meet back at the end of the day and see where the fuck
00:13:16.820 we got. It's not up for debate. It's not up for fucking discussion. Are there times that we discuss
00:13:22.580 these things? Absolutely. There are other times that we take everybody's feedback. Absolutely. But
00:13:27.460 your job as a leader, your job as a communicator, your job as the fucking shot caller of your company
00:13:32.480 is to take everybody's views and decide which direction is the best to take. It is not to please
00:13:41.080 everybody in the fucking room. It's to take whatever could be the best decision and make
00:13:46.780 that decision and then delegate the tasks that need to go out and happen for those things to happen
00:13:52.920 for the betterment of your fucking team. And until you can understand the role that direct
00:13:57.920 communication plays in that, you will never, ever, ever be successful. There is not one CEO on earth.
00:14:04.840 There's not one successful business person on earth who has built a business that doesn't
00:14:10.460 communicate directly with the people in their company. It just doesn't exist. It's a key trait.
00:14:17.600 It's a key factor. And if you're going to be successful in life, guys, whether, like I said,
00:14:22.060 you work within the framework of another company, whether you work for yourself and you're the only
00:14:26.040 person or whether you're the CEO or manager or whatever your role is, you have got to learn to be
00:14:32.740 direct and you've got to start now. Okay. So quit fucking beating around the bush. Quit worrying
00:14:39.380 about people's feelings. Quit worrying about what they're going to say about you when they go home.
00:14:43.780 Because at the end of the day, when you do right by people and you're making the right decisions
00:14:48.720 and people go out and they better their career, you better your company, they better their pay,
00:14:53.560 they better their growth, they better their lifestyle. They are going to be fucking thankful
00:14:57.700 for your direct communication. And that's the bottom line.
00:15:01.060 Crapado!