Episode 1666 Scott Adams: The Only Original Thoughts About Ukraine, Goes Well With a Beverage
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
139.45145
Summary
In this episode, I give you the most unusual take on Ukraine and Russia that you ve ever seen, and why it s probably not even worth it. You ve come to the best place in the world at the best time, and you ve come here to learn something about Ukraine that you never really understood before.
Transcript
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Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between, and in addition.
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This is really the culmination of an entire lifetime for you, but more importantly, this
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is the culmination of over 15 billion years of the universe's evolution.
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So, here's what you missed, YouTube, when my microphone was not plugged in.
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What you missed was, you've come to the best place in the world at the best time, and congratulations.
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And would you like to learn something about Ukraine that you never really understood
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And all you need is a cup or mug or a glass, a tank or a chalice, a canteen, a jug or a
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Now, as promised, I'm going to give you the most unusual take on Ukraine and Russia that
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Because everybody else is going to be talking about the same topic today.
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Well, we're in the Ukraine fog of war stage, and that means that 100% of the things you
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Do you remember yesterday when I saw some people on social media picking up on the fact
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that apparently the Ukrainians were putting up stiff resistance?
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How many of you believe that the Ukrainians killed 2,800 Russian troops in one day?
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That was a claim by one of the pro-Ukrainian people.
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So, that was something I was hearing, I think, yesterday.
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At the same time when actual military people were talking, I forget which ones it was, but some
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people who actually knew what they were talking about said, let's get this straight.
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There's no comparison between the Russian army and the Ukrainian army.
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If the Russians have not gotten what they want yet, it's just because they're staging.
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So, there's probably nothing that can be deduced by any one-day report on whether the Ukrainian
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I would say that we probably can say with some confidence that the Ukrainians are insanely
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I don't even know if that's a compliment, honestly, because there's bravery and then
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But if Russia thought that the Ukrainians were just going to bend over, it doesn't look like
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I'll tell you one thing that Ukraine got out of this so far, and maybe it won't be enough
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Like, there's nobody watching Ukraine saying, oh, we don't think you guys are good or smart
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Pretty much everybody's looking at Ukraine and saying, now that's a country.
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At the same time, I don't want to see them fight for nothing.
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Do you want to see them fight and die for, you know, what might be a foregone conclusion?
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So New York Times was reporting that the U.S. had been meeting with China for a long time,
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I guess months, and trying to get China to help talk Putin out of invading.
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And China's response was to share the American intel with Russia.
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But if you just read the headline, what kind of intel do you think we shared with China
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You know, anything that they didn't already know we could see?
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I mean, it was probably nothing but satellite imagery, right?
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What the hell else were we going to show China?
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Do you think we went over and said to China, look, we don't usually share our sources and
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So just this one time, we're going to show you how our entire intelligence agency works.
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And then China sold us out and gave all our sources and methods to Russia?
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This looks like a complete fake story, doesn't it?
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Fake, not in the details, but how the details are told.
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Because can you imagine that we actually, literally, gave China some intel that would have surprised
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You know, did Russia see this from China and say, whoa, we did not know the Americans could
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Now, obviously, we also had things like, you know, captured signal intelligence and stuff,
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But do you think we shared all that with China?
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If we had satellite pictures of massive military might heading toward Ukraine, don't you think
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There's a story that the Ukrainian government asked the citizens to change the street signs.
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I guess there's going to be one theme for the show today.
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Just assume that everything I tell you might not be true.
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Because it's something I heard from sources that are in the fog of war, and they're all
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So allegedly, I saw this in a tweet by Christo Grazev, that Ukraine's interior ministry asked
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residents to take down street signs in order to confuse oncoming Russian troops.
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But then the state road signs agency went one step further, and apparently all the directions
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on the street signs are going to be changed to go fuck yourself, presumably in Russia.
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Because first of all, if you were legitimately trying to confuse the enemy, you would change
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the signs to something that looked believable but wrong.
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Because if you really were doing this for military reasons, and this story were, you know, with
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any shred of truth to it, you would, yeah, you would move the signs, exactly.
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You wouldn't even destroy the signs, you would just put them in different places.
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Now, I'm sure that Russians also have GPS, so what's the difference?
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As you're saying in the comments, if you have GPS, what the hell do the road signs have to
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One of the things that Russia has going for it is that because it's the energy source to
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Europe, Europe can't go that hard on Russia because it doesn't want to lose its energy.
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So, even the talking about taking away the SWIFT access, you know, the access to international
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banking through this electronic system that moves money around the major banks.
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If Russia has taken out of the electronic distribution part of the banking system called the SWIFT, it turns
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out that that's not going to make that much difference because even what we're contemplating is carving
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So, energy would not be included in the sanctions.
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So, Russia could still use the SWIFT system, you know, to sell their energy.
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So, the whole SWIFT thing might not make that much difference.
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I saw an article on GZero that's quoted somebody suggesting there might be a 5% dip in Russia's
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And I'm not even sure anybody could estimate it.
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If Russia is kind of held, is holding Europe captive because it controls energy, how can
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Because basically, they're not going to get as much help as they need.
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It looks like Europe's strategy might be to be a little bit too slow.
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And then, I saw Andres Beacow say this on Twitter, that maybe Germany's strategy is to say,
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yeah, we'll help, yeah, we're going to help, let's help, oh, it's too late, oh, darn.
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Well, there's nothing you can do now because Russia already owns Ukraine.
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So, it might actually be an intentional European strategy to pretend to be helpful, to literally
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Yeah, to slow walk it, exactly, the corporate word for it, to slow walk it.
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Now, if you were Ukraine, now you do want the goodwill of the world, and they seem to
00:12:06.840
But on the other hand, you don't think you would make, you would take that card off the
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Because if somebody, whoever, blew up the key pipelines so that Europe didn't have energy
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anyway, would Europe then be free to act because they would have nothing to gain?
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And could anybody get to the pipelines, or are they so well protected?
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And if they're so well protected, why don't you make the whole country out of that?
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That's the old joke about the black box on the airplane.
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Airplane crashes, but the black box seems to always survive.
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And then all the jokesters say, well, why don't you make the whole plane out of that black
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If the Ukrainians can't get to the pipelines that are crisscrossing the country because
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they're so well fortified, you should make the whole country out of that stuff, whatever
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It just seems to me there would have to be some kind of access.
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It doesn't look like anybody's going to blow up any pipelines.
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Here's one way to look at Putin, and then we'll go to the whiteboard, and I'll explain
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Have we not been confused about what the hell is Putin's objective?
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Because I would say that our media is so unreliable and scattered that they never really told us
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Why do you think that our media did such a bad job?
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Do you think it's incompetence or something else?
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The first something else could be any category.
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Why did we not know what the hell Putin was up to and why?
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I'm seeing your answers are all over the place.
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I think there's at least a little bit of something else and a little bit of incompetence.
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So, you know, it's easy to say any large organization or any group of people is going to have plenty
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And do you know what that something else might be?
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Somebody says money, Burisma, something about Ukraine and the Bidens, people are saying.
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Putin and the Soviet Union and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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Putin's version of events is that the United States has been the aggressor and has been
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getting closer and closer to encircling Russia with NATO and has been a bully since the Soviet
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And that Russia has been belittled, embarrassed, and pushed by the United States for decades.
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And when they reached a certain line, they had pushed too far.
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Can somebody, because I don't have good history, so I'm seeing some yeses there and then some
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I guess I'm seeing maybe there was some discussion about it, it looks like.
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It looks like there was some discussion about it as opposed to any formal process.
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And then Ukraine, the conversation comes up about NATO, and now we've seen that he moved.
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So, first of all, from Putin's telling, he tells it like a victim.
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Now, nothing I say should suggest I'm agreeing with Putin, okay?
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I'm just saying his telling is that he's a victim, and that he's been literally bullied.
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Now, I saw an article from 2014 that was in Atlantic Magazine by Joseph Burgo.
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And he had a theory back then, hypothesis, that Putin is a narcissist, and his, you know, one
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can assume that his own sense of ego is tied up with Russia in general, and Russia's history,
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Now, what would cause somebody to become a narcissist, according to many experts?
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Do you know what turned somebody into a narcissist?
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Yeah, and there are reports of it, but who knows.
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And that apparently he reacted very aggressively against bullies as a kid.
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Now, again, nobody can confirm that any of this is true.
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I'm not even sure we know anything about his childhood, really.
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If he were bullied, that would turn him into a narcissist, allegedly.
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A narcissist would be overly sensitive to how people view them.
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When somebody is a narcissist, they have a certain set of behaviors that are so baked in,
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If you've ever known more than one alcoholic, did you ever say to yourself,
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There's like these set of behaviors that are only alcoholic behaviors,
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but two complete strangers, and you add the alcohol, and they act the same.
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Like, you could take one from two sides of the world,
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and you could tell what they're going to do before they do it.
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Now, I've actually said that it didn't exist, and people were just making it up.
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And everybody was just like, yeah, you know, people think the same.
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So, you know, obviously, I think you might be thinking a little bit the same as me.
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But there's a special kind of projection that only applies to narcissists,
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If somebody said, let's say you blamed a narcissist of running over your dog,
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and you say, you ran over my dog, what would the narcissist say first?
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I've got video from five angles and, you know, ten witnesses that you ran over a dog.
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What does a narcissist say when given absolute proof?
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And the narcissist would say that, even knowing that you don't own a car, and the narcissist never owned a dog.
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And you'd say to yourself, I don't know what's happening here.
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How could you be blaming me of the exact thing I'm blaming you of when you don't even own a dog and never have?
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And you'll say to yourself, I don't even know what's going on here.
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I think maybe you should seek professional help because you're starting to lose it.
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So as soon as it's obvious that the narcissist is completely denying obvious reality, they'll tell you that you've lost your mind.
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And you can't see what's right in front of you.
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Now, yeah, gaslighting you, that would be called.
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So look at what Putin's done and how this has all developed.
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Now, I'm not great with geography, so just roughly speaking, there's this big mass called Russia.
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And the first offense to Putin's, let's say, his ego was when Georgia sort of hangs down here.
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So Georgia started talking about maybe being part of NATO, so Russia, you know, jumped right in and controlled it.
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Ukraine, which I think you can see what's developing here.
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If you're Putin, Ukraine and Georgia form the genitalia of Russia.
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So it's literally the cock and balls of Russia.
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And so if Russia were to lose some of the little dingleberry countries that were just not that important, he can live with that.
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But NATO said, hey, Putin, since we picked off some of these little unaligned countries and we put them to NATO,
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NATO, how about our next step, logically, would be to cut off your fucking balls and cock in front of the world.
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Let's just cut off your entire cock and balls while everybody's watching and see if that gets a reaction from you.
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So isn't it smart to do the most humiliating thing you can do to him in front of the world because he only appreciates toughness?
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Now, because his system is not a democratic system where he doesn't have to worry about losing power, this is personal.
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And, you know, even though it's a weird coincidence that these two countries form the cock and balls of Russia,
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When you say to yourself, why is Putin acting irrationally, it's because we made him act irrationally.
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Now, ladies, I'm going to ask the men to explain this to you.
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One of the things that makes men act irrationally and sometimes angry is any threat whatsoever to our cock or our balls.
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We might do some stuff to you if you threaten any of that area, that situation.
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And so, without all the details of history of all the slights and abuses we have dealt to Putin,
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let's go all the way back to 2008 when Putin asked if he could join NATO.
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Now, we've talked about that before, but why did this only recently come up?
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I would guess it's the same reason that our media has not informed us well about Putin's motives.
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I believe that our CIA and our intelligence agencies are heavily staffed with Russia experts,
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and that all the Russia experts needed something to do.
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And they'd all come to the belief that the only way that Putin would respond is if you could, you know,
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Does that sound like the guy who couldn't get along if you wanted him to?
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I mean, is Russia getting along with China, or are they hacking each other all the time?
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But I feel like Russia gets along with other countries.
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I feel as though the CIA fucked up so badly in reading the room, if you will,
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and tried to overthrow, literally tried to overthrow Putin,
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literally tried to pick him apart one part at a time to destroy Russia.
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And is everything that we see just Putin reacting exactly the way you would expect somebody in his situation?
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I mean, it looks exactly like how you would expect somebody to react in that situation.
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Now, on top of that, here's my big breaking news.
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But one of the weird things about narcissists is that they will accuse you of, as I said,
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Did you see that Putin just accused the Ukrainian government of being a bunch of drug addicts?
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Did that catch your attention as an unusual accusation?
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I don't know if I've ever heard that before, have you?
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Has anybody ever called an entire government a bunch of drug addicts
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and then used that as a pretense for attacking?
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That Putin himself is a drug addict and is telling you.
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Telling you in the most direct way a narcissist can.
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The way a narcissist tells you what they're up to is they blame you for doing it.
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And my background in hypnosis would tell me the same thing.
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Because it's a weird thing to even be on your mind, right?
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You know that Macron said that he seemed like a different person.
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I would say that Putin has revealed, because this is sort of a hypnotist trick, is how to know that, how to know what people are thinking.
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The hypnotist knows that people reveal in their choice of words their inner thoughts.
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But the words that come most easily to them are the ones that are in the zone of the thing they're trying to keep from you, if you know what I mean.
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So just if you look at their choice of words, you know, okay, those words come from this zone of thinking.
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So if you look at Putin looks different to me, he looks less healthy, there is some talk that he's, quote, losing it, but I think that probably comes from our own intelligence agencies, you know, so who knows if that's true, right?
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So I wouldn't take it as true any story of any adversary's mental health.
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But you can observe yourself, and I tweeted this morning Putin's explanation of the great humiliations that have been heaped upon him.
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See in Putin's words if that looks like the old Putin.
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And I would say there's a probability, this is my speculation, that two things have come together in a tragic way.
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Number one, he got pushed too far at the same time he was taking some kind of medication that made him not want to be pushed, like extra, extra not want to be pushed, like if I'm going to snap, it's going to happen now kind of drug.
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Now, I'm not going to speculate what it would be.
00:30:46.200
You know, I often think, you know, you think of steroids and prednisone, but it could be anything.
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They're probably a constellation, I would guess.
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There's probably a whole constellation of drugs that are, you know, prescribed for ordinary medical problems,
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of which you would imagine he would be, at this point, having some.
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And so, and so I submit to you, the two forces have come together.
00:31:20.920
The humiliation of Russia over time, that has been relentless, with him getting on some kind of change of, it could be a mental health change, that's possible.
00:31:32.240
But I think more likely, since there's a suddenness to it, well, I guess I could go either way.
00:31:39.540
But I'm going to go, I'm going to go with a, someday we will know that he's drugged up like Hitler was.
00:31:57.040
Because amphetamines are what make you this way, right?
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Would you agree that the amphetamines, the meth, are most likely what's going to make you overreach and, you know, act out of ego?
00:32:19.340
I mean, it's pretty obvious he's not on mushrooms.
00:32:38.080
You know, I don't know if people act that way, do they?
00:32:41.140
If you only have a few months to live, do you try to get that thing done, or do you just say, you know, I just got other things to worry about now?
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I don't think you'd want to work that hard if you only had a few months to live, but maybe that's just me.
00:32:54.500
CNN refers to the action in Ukraine as an unprovoked invasion.
00:33:05.540
In your opinion, with what we know so far, is the invasion of Ukraine unprovoked?
00:33:18.820
And doesn't it depend, you know, I see yeses and no's.
00:33:24.460
But it depends on your definition of provoked, doesn't it?
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If you knew that Ukraine was on your doorstep and your mortal enemy was going to use it to put weapons, wouldn't you feel provoked?
00:33:44.420
If somebody were, let's say, how about the Cuban Missile Crisis?
00:33:53.640
Was Kennedy provoked by Russia, Soviet Union, I guess, the Soviet Union, with the Cuban Missile Crisis?
00:34:03.680
Yes, we would call that provoked, even though nobody fired anybody or evaded anybody, right?
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We've been taught in school that that was a provocation and that the response to it was perfectly legitimate.
00:34:23.180
We just did exactly the same thing to Russia that the Soviet Union was trying to do to us.
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Now, I don't approve of what Russia is doing in Ukraine, just to be clear.
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But it does help to understand that we provoked the shit out of them and should have seen it coming from a mile away, which we did.
00:34:51.180
And it looks like what is happening now is on top of the tragedy in Ukraine itself, which is tragedy number one.
00:35:02.340
But, well, I guess there's tragedies all around here.
00:35:06.440
I think that we're going to be gaslit in the United States to be taught that this is purely a Russian aggression situation.
00:35:26.180
Putin's definitely, it looks like something's different.
00:35:31.560
You know, maybe he just reached the last straw and maybe that's all it is, but it's different.
00:35:34.980
And then other people talk about, you know, just power will keep going until you stop it.
00:35:43.060
So all Putin's doing is taking advantage of situations.
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But it seems to me like the situations he's taking advantage of all do seem to have a strategic point to them.
00:36:00.080
Compare how we've been treating Russia with how Trump treated Russia.
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If you imagine that, of course, Russia wants lots of things, you know, wants a strong defense and a good economy and all that stuff.
00:36:14.280
But if you imagine the important thing here, if you imagine the important thing is how, you know, how Putin feels about his place in history and whether he's bullied and whether Russia has been bullied and all that.
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Trump handled Putin and, by extension, Russia with complete respect.
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So Trump knew how to handle this exact situation.
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If my hypothesis is right, Trump knew how to handle it.
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Just tell him he's a genius and Russia is awesome.
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The one who says, hey, you know, you're kind of smart and you're awesome and let's work together.
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Or the one who says, we're going to have to put NATO on your doorstep and put a bunch of weapons in Ukraine.
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And by the way, it used to be your cock and balls, but we took it from you.
00:37:22.840
Like, which one is handling that the right way?
00:37:25.000
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't World War II happen because of the way we handled World War I?
00:37:40.060
That World War II happened because of how poorly we handled World War I?
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And now we're watching what happened about how we handled the decline of the Soviet Union.
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So Putin's point of view is that we should have been just as helpful and we would have had a good friend in Russia.
00:38:04.240
I'll bet if we had been gracious and helpful when the Iron Curtain fell, that we would actually have an ally.
00:38:17.180
I mean, maybe smarter people have a better idea about that.
00:38:21.260
But every country that we act graceful to in victory, Germany, Japan,
00:38:30.960
am I wrong that they're now our strongest allies and that that's how you make an ally, right?
00:38:41.140
And apparently we've been a dick to Russia for years.
00:38:45.180
You know, every time we talk about Russia, we say, you know, their economy is like Texas.
00:38:57.060
Do you think he has any reason to want to, like, move that in the other direction?
00:39:02.460
Because here's another theory about countries and businesses and people, I guess.
00:39:22.040
So it looks like Putin decided to stop descending.
00:39:26.880
And he said, all right, well, I'm just going to do whatever it takes to ascend.
00:39:30.400
Because you're either ascending or descending, and my job is to ascend.
00:39:39.380
What about the Switzerland option that I think is being floated at the moment, and was floated and rejected?
00:39:51.440
And I feel like the way that we're talking about this whole thing and framing it is a problem.
00:39:59.780
If, instead of saying that Ukraine is either going to be owned by Russia or dominated by NATO,
00:40:08.620
two choices that can't ever work because the other side won't let it,
00:40:14.660
why didn't we start out with saying that there's something called a Switzerland option,
00:40:20.100
and if the United Nations gives somebody a, let's say, a Switzerland designation,
00:40:36.700
But if anybody attacks one of these Switzerland neutral countries that we've designated as neutral,
00:40:45.340
Maybe the very best thing is to have a neutral country between two countries that aren't so neutral toward each other.
00:40:56.880
I don't know if that's ever an option, but it's too late at this point,
00:41:00.460
because Russia can basically do what it wants with Ukraine in the long run, it looks like.
00:41:09.680
Now, so of course, now Finland and Sweden are saying that they're thinking about joining NATO because they feel a little exposed,
00:41:16.040
and Russia is, of course, saying they could have dire consequences.
00:41:21.020
Now, again, have Finland and Sweden suffered by not being in NATO?
00:41:34.820
Do you think Sweden has ever said, darn, I wish we were in NATO?
00:41:39.400
Because it would have cost them money, and I don't think it would have bought them anything yet.
00:41:43.520
So I feel as if we're just creating a bunch of made-up problems,
00:41:48.080
because we're bullying each other, and neither side wants to put up with bullies.
00:41:54.220
It just feels like bullying and bullying and posturing and psychological stuff.
00:42:07.940
The only other story is about Biden's nominee for the Supreme Court,
00:42:18.660
If we know in advance that the Liberal-appointed judge is always going to go with the Liberals,
00:42:26.820
if you know how somebody's going to vote before you nominate them, and we really do, am I right?
00:42:34.120
You know, the days where you didn't know how somebody was going to vote are kind of over.
00:42:38.340
I think we always know how anybody's going to vote on anything important.
00:42:44.660
All right, so here's something I'm seeing here.
00:42:48.660
So Maya Gameworks over on YouTube is yelling at me,
00:42:52.720
Scott, I'm in Kiev, and the Russians have lost.
00:42:55.540
I've seen some messages go by suggesting that you've already kicked out the Russian army.
00:43:08.160
I would have to see some pictures, and I would have to have lots of confirmation of that.
00:43:15.100
I mean, to me, that just sounds like propaganda.
00:43:16.600
Now, I don't know who you are, and, you know, if you're being honest, that's great.
00:43:23.200
But even if you're in Kiev, I don't think you'd know.
00:43:25.980
You would just know what's happening on your street.
00:43:27.820
You wouldn't know what's happening anywhere else.
00:43:37.060
I think the Republicans should just make their little speeches,
00:43:41.920
ask their tough questions because it gets them some TV time.
00:43:47.040
because there's no mystery about any of these judges anymore.
00:43:53.420
You know what they're going to vote before they get in there.
00:43:55.760
So either they have the power to put her in or not.
00:44:04.040
Air superiority makes Ukraine the automatic loser.
00:44:11.420
Because does air superiority help you clear a metro center?
00:44:16.780
And ultimately, they're going to have to clear street by street.
00:44:19.920
Does air power help you that much in urban fighting?
00:44:34.000
I wouldn't want to go door-to-door with the Ukrainians right now.
00:44:40.920
If the Russian army came down a street with armed people
00:44:51.540
couldn't the residents just open the windows at the same time
00:44:55.260
and rain hell down on the Russian army in the street?
00:44:58.920
I guess I don't know enough about urban warfare
00:45:06.940
Not easily, but maybe effectively would be the better way to say it.
00:45:22.120
I believe this is the only place you're ever going to hear
00:45:25.080
the cock-and-balls hypothesis of Ukraine and Georgia,