Episode 1987 Scott Adams: Joe Biden's Garage, And The Government Lying To You About Everything
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 14 minutes
Words per Minute
140.46596
Summary
It's Friday the 13th, and it's the best day of the year, and you know what that means? It means you're going to have the most amazing day you've ever had in your whole life, because nothing is what it seems, except for the good news.
Transcript
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It's Friday the 13th, and YouTube, they tried to stop me, the gremlins of bad luck, but here I am.
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Yeah, here I am. And you've managed to make it here for the highlight of civilization,
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the best thing that's ever happened to you in your whole damn life.
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And if you'd like to take it up a notch, and I think we all need that because it's Friday the 13th,
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which I will reframe in a moment, all you need is a cup or a mug or a glass, a tank or a chalice or a stein,
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a canteen jug or a flask, a vessel of any kind, fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee.
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And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine of the day.
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The thing makes everything better, including Friday the 13th. It happens now. Go.
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All right, watch me reframe Friday the 13th from what some of you think would be bad luck
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How many things happened this year that were just the way you expected them?
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We just spent years of investigating Trump for potential corruption with foreign countries.
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We found that Joe Biden was corrupt with foreign countries.
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How many times have we been told one thing is true, only to learn that the opposite is true?
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How about those vaccinations that are totally stopping the spread of the virus?
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Pretty much the opposite of a vaccination, isn't it?
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So why would Friday the 13th be the only thing this year that happened just the way it was presented?
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I have a prediction that some of you are going to have the best day you've ever had in your whole life.
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If there's one thing I can teach you, a reframe doesn't have to make logical sense.
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It just has to, the words just have to make sense in a sentence.
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And that's good enough to reprogram your brain.
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So that's the hypnotist in me teaching you that.
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But I'd like to start with an inspirational quote from Kamala Harris.
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I think of this moment as a moment that is about great moment, um.
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But also inspired by, also, our collective effort to see what can be unburdened by what has been.
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How many of you have heard me bitching about how sports are all broken?
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And they're broken because the sports were invented a hundred years ago.
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Like tennis, for example, was completely destroyed by the quality of the equipment improving.
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So you can hit a tennis ball so quickly that you can guarantee that the other person won't enjoy playing.
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I can make the other person totally not enjoy their day.
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But I can make sure you don't enjoy it just by hitting the hell out of that ball.
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They invented a new sport and they got rid of all the stupid stuff that ruined sports.
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And I was trying to understand why everybody was asking me, like everywhere,
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So you can use, roughly you can use a tennis court.
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And so I, you know, I just hit the ball around on a little bit of pickleball.
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You never need to, you never need to tune up your paddle.
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It's not like tennis where you need to fix your strings.
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Let me, let me, let me tell you something that only, only tennis players know.
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If you're like a serious weekend tennis player, watch the comments and the tennis players will confirm this.
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The number one correlation with whether I won my tennis matches against, you know, people I played with all the time or I lost was, what was the number one correlation?
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How recently I had strung my racket and nothing else was even close.
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There was no other factor that predicted who would win, right?
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Now, just watch the other tennis players, they'll tell you.
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You don't win, because usually you, you generally pick a player who is close to your ability.
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And so the entire difference of who wins that day, you can play for two hours, and I can still tell you who's going to win.
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It's the one who got their strings changed most recently, because it makes that much difference.
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The next thing is you always have, your tennis balls are always too new or too old.
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That's something else you wouldn't know if you didn't play.
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When you take a tennis ball out of the can, it's too new.
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And even an experienced player has trouble handling it for several minutes.
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And then you wear them out a little bit, and then they're good.
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But by the end of the, toward the end, they're all worn out.
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So they play completely different in the beginning than they do at the end.
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It's supposed to be the same sport, but it doesn't even play the same by the end of the match.
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So with pickleball, you're using this little hard plastic wiffle ball that's exactly the same from beginning to end.
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And if you didn't want to, you would never have to buy another one.
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You could have one ball that lasts you the rest of your life if you didn't lose it.
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And then the other thing they did is that because it's a wiffle ball, when it bounces,
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somebody can hit it at you pretty fast, but when it bounces, it slows down immediately
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and just sets up nicely so you can hit it again, exactly where you expect it to be.
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A regular tennis ball doesn't even bounce to the place you expect it.
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is the ball doesn't bounce the way you expect every time. It's different.
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But the pickleball will bounce the same every time.
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The other thing they did is that you don't have to run very much.
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So if you were playing somebody competitively, you'd probably get a good workout
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because, you know, you keep the ball in play for a long time.
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But you could also play doubles with your grandfather,
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and your grandfather could play pickleball just fine
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So if somebody actually invented a game that's perfect for this part of society,
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a 12-year-old could pick it up and play with a 70-year-old,
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What sport has a 15-minute learning curve from never played to,
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Soccer would be great if they shortened the field,
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got rid of out-of-bounds, which you do with indoor soccer,
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shortened the field, fewer people, six-on-six, indoors.
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You might be aware that I've been mocking fired Twitter employees
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Because the funny thing about it is that when Elon Musk was firing people at Twitter,
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But in many cases, they were, let's say, famously not hard workers.
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Now, I don't want to cast aspersions on every employee, obviously.
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Clearly, some were hard workers, and maybe others were less serious.
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But I've been running a series in Dilbert this week
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where a number of the fired employees from Twitter have gotten jobs at Dilbert's company.
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That is a perfect combination of headline with comic.
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So this is the new Dilbert employee from Twitter.
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The ex-Twitter employee now working for Dilbert's company says,
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that's not how we did it when I worked at Twitter.
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Then Dilbert says, maybe that's why Elon Musk fired you.
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And then he says, how long are you going to use that on me?
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And Dilbert says, I'm thinking three to five years.
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Have I ever told you that I planned 60 years in advance?
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including being a famous cartoonist, which is weird.
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But there's one other long-range plan that I've had,
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which I have talked about publicly, but not for a long time.
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I believed I was born at exactly the right time in history,
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where if I could stay healthy into my senior years,
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I actually bet that if I really, really worked on keeping myself healthy
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if I could reach approximately my current age and still be healthy,
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that I could lock it in for the rest of my life.
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Do you think anything like that's going to ever happen,
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So in a Boston lab, I guess there's some, let's see who's working on this,
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reversing aging, but they got a big breakthrough.
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You're all aware that there have been breakthroughs in aging before.
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This is the first one that's ever sounded real.
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And it's because of what they discovered more than how they're doing it, right?
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Because I always thought to myself, can you really reverse aging?
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But apparently, this is what some Boston researchers,
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I think at least one person's associated with Harvard,
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but they found out that it's an information problem, not a damage problem.
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In other words, your body loses the information of what your DNA and your genetic makeup is.
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And once it loses the information, it doesn't know how to make a new copy.
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They figured out, yeah, I don't think it's in the stem cell necessarily.
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But they can actually, they can take a mouse that's old,
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and they can restore its eyesight by making it younger.
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Now, what you're usually thinking in these cases, right,
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and even though mice are 98% similar DNA to humans,
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There's a reason you go from mice to monkeys to humans.
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Because that appears to be the case with the mice.
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because common sense is totally magical thinking
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If the only thing they do is find the backup copy
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I wonder who we might actually be able to change aging.
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Do you know that big problem of the demographic bubble?
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we're not going to have enough money to survive.
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but now we're going to make you feel like you're 25 years old.
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There's literally nothing you can predict anymore.
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that couldn't possibly be cost effective, right?