Episode 2351 CWSA 01⧸12⧸24
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 20 minutes
Words per Minute
140.68002
Summary
Scott Adams talks about AI and the future of the world, and Jerry Nadler wants to eat all of your vegetables. Scott Adams is a stand-up comedian and host of the podcast, Coffee with Scott Adams. He's also a regular contributor to NPR and the New York Times, and he's a good friend of mine.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Welcome to the highlight of human civilization.
00:00:03.480
It's called Coffee with Scott Adams, and I don't think there's been a better time in your entire life.
00:00:08.680
If you'd like this experience to go up to levels that, well, you can't even believe.
00:00:21.580
A cup or mug or a glass of tanker shells or stye in a canteen jug or flask, a vessel of any kind.
00:00:27.080
Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee.
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And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine the other day that makes everything better, it's called.
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It's called the simultaneous sip. It happens now. Go.
00:00:53.620
So, according to the news, Sam Altman just got married, and imagine his year.
00:01:05.900
So, Sam Altman launches the greatest new technology in our lifetime, which is OpenAI and ChatGPT.
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Then he gets fired, or whatever it was, and then it's a big drama, and he comes back.
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And the thing that we didn't know, during all of that drama, he was planning a wedding.
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This is like the year that nobody could even understand.
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How in the world do you do all those things in one year?
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There's an app that I thought was very cool I'm going to tell you about.
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But all you do is you point your phone to any object you own, and it will tell you how much you can sell it for.
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I feel like that's what I've been waiting for my whole life.
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I just want to point my phone at, like, you know, my coffee cup and have it come up with a price.
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I don't think it quite connects you, you know, the buyer and the seller.
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So, there's another step there that could be cool.
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Just point it out as something that tells you what it's worth.
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Well, here's some really good news from Germany.
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So, Germany has managed to reduce their emissions.
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And you're probably wondering, how did they do it?
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Well, checking the fine print, Germany lowered their emissions by substantially lowering their quality of life.
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Congratulations on reducing your quality of life to the level that Klaus Schwab requires.
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Jerry Nadler was quoted as saying that one of the reasons, well, two of the reasons, really, that we need immigration.
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So, at least he's being very honest about this and transparent.
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And Nadler says, our vegetables would rot in the ground if they weren't being picked by many immigrants, many illegal immigrants.
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So, when it comes to national security, Jerry Nadler is most interested in, checking notes again, his food.
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Jerry wants to make sure we got lots of illegal immigrants because he's a hungry motherfucker and he needs lots of vegetables.
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So, he needs more illegal immigrants to get his calorie count up.
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Now, the one thing I should warn the immigrants about is if we run out of vegetables.
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You know, if it's up to Jerry Nadler, first, he would eat the vegetables, the first choice.
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But if there are no vegetables, Jerry still needs to eat.
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He's going to be eating the illegal immigrants.
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Well, you'll be delighted to know that there's been a big breakthrough in AI writing jokes.
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You know, I told you that AI would never be able to be good at humor.
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Well, I guess I'm eating my words more than Jerry Nadler is eating illegal immigrants.
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Because somebody made a George Carlin that doesn't sound at all like George Carlin and tells jokes that don't sound anything like George Carlin would tell.
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Something about a fart that was trying to escape an asshole.
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Now, in my experience, AI thinks that all humor is wordplay.
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And the reason I know that is I've asked AI to tell me jokes.
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And I can say specifically, tell me a joke, but don't use wordplay.
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It can be no puns, no clever wording, nothing with wordplay, just a joke.
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And it will give you another joke with wordplay.
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Now, this is probably a quiz that you can all do well on.
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In the comments, tell me, are fart jokes funny?
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To a segment of the population, 100% of fart jokes are funny.
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So here's what I need to tell you as a professional humorist.
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What is the lowest, considered the least capable, easiest, lowest form of humor?
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Other people would say bathroom humor and farts.
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But AI apparently has risen all the way to the level of the lowest fucking humor you could ever write.
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And somebody was bragging about how AI had finally broken through into the humor domain.
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If your best joke is a fucking fart joke with a wordplay, you have not entered the world of humor.
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You're knocking on the door, but you're not inside.
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Now, can you imagine that AI would ever be good enough to do a Dave Chappelle-like humor
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where he's weaving together a whole tapestry and you don't know where it's heading
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until the surprise ending that ties it all together and makes you question your convictions
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and makes you see things from the other side for the first time?
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I don't think that the large language models will ever produce humor that would be Chappelle-quality humor
00:09:10.800
And the reason is that AI is designed to stay safe.
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And more importantly, AI has to be boring and inoffensive.
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And the other thing is that a human is sort of surfing the zeitgeist.
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You know, so Chappelle knows what you're feeling and thinking, and then he crafts his work around it.
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And it would change in a month from now if you're feeling and thinking differently.
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Microsoft has overtaken Apple as the world's largest or most valuable company.
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I told you a while ago that I was selling all my Apple stock.
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But I did sell my Apple stock because I was worried about the risk of AI because they seemed behind.
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And I did buy a bunch of Microsoft stock before I had its run.
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Man, you know, the most important part of investing is pure luck.
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But as soon as they, if Apple introduces their own AI and it's great, then I really fucked up.
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If AI and Apple work well together, and it probably will, probably will, then holding Apple would be the best bet.
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Dementia Hitler is coming out with some new lies.
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He said, today's data shows that we ended 2023 with inflation down by nearly two-thirds from its peak, and core inflation at its lowest level, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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When was the last time Joe Biden tweeted something that was true?
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Now, I think in this case, he's just playing the game of, you know, what base do you start measuring?
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You know, if you start at this base, inflation is up.
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If you start at this base, it looks like it's down.
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So he's obviously just playing, you know, numbers games here, which I would consider a lie.
00:12:02.640
See, a typical Trump tweet would be a joke, which is not a lie.
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And that wouldn't be a lie because he'd just be telling you what the statistic is.
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And then he gives you opinions, which are not lies.
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You might not like them, but an opinion is not a lie.
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And then there are insults about his enemies, which might be hyperbole.
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But you would recognize it, obviously, as hyperbole, and you would judge this out.
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I would say, I don't know if this is purely me being a team player.
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This is a category where I can't judge my own performance.
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Am I being just biased and blind when I say, in my opinion, the social media posting of Biden
00:13:07.320
And I'm not saying that Trump passes the fact-checking.
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I'm just saying he doesn't post a bunch of lies.
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I'm just saying that he's more likely to go with hyperbole and opinion and what's important in America first.
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But I feel like when Biden says anything, it's just a flat lie.
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I'm open to the fact that that's a false pattern.
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But I can tell you that this tweet proves that Dementia Hitler doesn't know the difference between up and down when it comes to inflation anyway.
00:13:57.520
My minor theme for today's show is everything you suspected is true.
00:14:04.700
Now, that's sort of a continuing theme, in a sense, because we've all been saying that.
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It seems like all the conspiracy theories are coming true.
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Apparently, the passports, the U.S. passports, have been redesigned.
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And the Biden administration has removed the eagle and the flag.
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In other words, the American imagery has been removed from the passport, and now it's just a document.
00:14:49.300
And what it looks like is something that I kind of resisted.
00:14:53.100
You know, probably, I don't know, how many years ago did the crazy people on the right start saying, I think the Democrats and the Marxists, especially the Marxists, are trying to destroy the imagery and sort of the culture of America so that they can slot in their belief systems better.
00:15:13.160
And I remember thinking to myself, well, that's really giving them a lot of credit for long-term planning that feels like too much credit.
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So I was kind of on the side of, well, I see what you're saying, but I feel like it's just a bunch of things that are coincidentally heading in that direction.
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And I honestly can't think of any reason you would remove American imagery from a passport.
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Is it an international standard, and we're just trying to be more international?
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Do other countries not put national imagery on their passport?
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Whatever the reason, it probably wasn't good enough.
00:16:01.340
So everything from, right, the standard, the family, to what is a man, what is a woman,
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and all the CI and diversity and all that, it all seems like, it does feel like it's designed to destroy the core of America values that made America what it is or was.
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It actually looks, you know, maybe not in the sense that they held a meeting and talked about it,
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but there does seem to be some general sense on the Democrat side to destroy all that binds us together as Americans.
00:16:48.140
You know, I'm not so big on, you know, just images and stuff, but it does seem comprehensive.
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It would be hard to imagine that it's all coincidence at this point, but you can't rule out a coincidence.
00:17:01.520
All right, so Texas is at war with the federal government.
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The End Wokeness, one of my favorite accounts, reports this,
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that the Texas National Guard just seized control of Shelby Park and Eagle Pass.
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That's the place the illegals were coming through the fence.
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And they banned federal agencies from access in the area.
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The military of the state is militarily acting against the federal government
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because the federal government is putting them at too much risk.
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If the state uses military arms to take control back from the federal government, what is that?
00:18:13.700
But if the state is militarily moving against the feds, it doesn't matter that the feds back down.
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Maybe it'll just be some more rumblings like this.
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I don't think this is going to blow into, you know, civil war too.
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If your state is moving militarily against the federal government, what else is that?
00:19:21.780
That the Houthis, the name of the people firing the missiles at the ships in the Red Sea,
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So if you were an AI, you could come up with that joke.
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But if you're going to do wordplay, you have to take it another level.
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Now, if I could maybe tie this in with a fart joke.
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Did you know that Joe Biden in 2020 railed against Trump for starting a military action
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He's attacking a foreign country without congressional approval.
00:21:00.180
And Thomas Massey is quickly getting into the, hey, you can't do that game.
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And Ro Khanna, Democrat, is joining him, where they're joining each other in opposing the military
00:21:16.320
I saw Nancy Mace weighing in the same, so we do have a little bit of bipartisanship in
00:21:28.680
My understanding, and I guess I don't have an understanding, of how the Congress interacts
00:21:42.400
Is it true that the president can instigate military action without asking Congress, but
00:21:58.360
Oh, 90 days to get their approval or cut it out, right?
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But he has to inform the government within 48 hours, which I believe has happened.
00:22:09.380
So does that mean he's got 90 days and he's totally within his legal balance, right?
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You keep yelling, War Powers Act, like that's telling me something.
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I'm asking you what's in it, not the name of it.
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Here's what, I don't know what the law does say, but here's what it should say.
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It should say that the president can do things without getting approval in the short run.
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You know, you don't want your secretary of defense to be unconscious.
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You want to be able to act fast because these are existential risks.
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So I don't know that anybody has yet violated any laws.
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I don't think Biden's violated the War Powers Act, has he?
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I mean, he could if he doesn't get their approval and he keeps going.
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So I don't have a complaint with how Biden is handling Yemen in terms of his dealing with Congress.
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But if we stay there, you know, if it's not just a punch and go, then, yeah, Congress has to get on board with that.
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And we will all be reminded today that Trump designated the Houthis in Yemen as a terrorist organization.
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And then one day after taking office, Joe Biden rescinded it and said, you're not terrorists.
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So I don't know how many more times people can say this, but if the Democratic Party's policy is to do whatever Trump didn't do, that's not even governing.
00:24:31.620
That was more incompetent than doing the opposite of what the other guy did.
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You could not even come up with any idea worse than that.
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So, yeah, Benny Johnson reported that Trump said, let's be clear.
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Donald Trump does not have the authority to take us into war.
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Well, Mike Cernovich weighed in with some classic satire.
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He says, America can't win the war against Hooties without diversifying and inclusion.
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Institute the draft for underrepresented groups immediately.
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This is a matter of both national security and social justice.
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So, jokingly, Mike is saying that if diversity and inclusion are so important, we'd better build the military around those principles so we have a strong enough military.
00:25:33.400
Because you don't want a bunch of weak white people running your military with all their white supremacy.
00:25:44.440
I say white males should avoid every organization that is DEI-centric.
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In other words, if any organization, whether it's the military, any other part of the government, private corporation, if they tell you, and they're not hiding it, we have a DEI program here, stay away.
00:26:15.380
If you have a son or daughter, poor daughter, although I don't know how it works for daughters.
00:26:21.300
Maybe they have some advantages in the military these days.
00:26:25.960
But if you have a son, a white son, you should steer him away from every DEI organization, especially the military.
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Now, I would not fight for a country that has a DEI program.
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I would not join the military and fight and die for a country that treated me that way.
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I'm willing to live here because I was born here and I think we can improve.
00:27:12.380
Find something you can do where you're not being discriminated against.
00:27:16.200
And by the way, I would give the opposite advice to any person of color or woman.
00:27:23.080
I would say you should go toward DEI because that would be your best strategy.
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I'm saying if you're a white man, it's terrible.
00:27:38.520
If you're a person of color or a woman or LGBTQ, go toward it.
00:27:47.280
But yeah, white men, you should get the fuck out of the military because the military doesn't want you.
00:28:00.460
That would be how many more than during Trump's administration?
00:28:13.760
We're not, maybe not firing shots, but we're supporting it.
00:28:18.980
You've got, what about all those Iran proxies in Iraq and Syria?
00:28:25.620
And now, in my opinion, the flow of illegal immigration is an invasion.
00:28:36.500
I've resisted calling illegal immigration invasion because it was still at a low enough number that we could absorb it okay.
00:28:44.820
And it was coming from countries that I felt more comfortable with, Central America, Mexico.
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You know, I have a feeling of comfort with that community.
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But we're at a level now, and they're coming from places that we, you know, we have a little less comfort with culturally.
00:29:08.240
Not as easy fit as the Central and South Americans are.
00:29:25.440
And then I would say that American citizens have an extra war.
00:29:30.960
So if you're an American citizen, you're supporting a government that's in five different wars.
00:29:36.780
But you have an extra war if you're a citizen beyond the one that you're supporting your government for, which is the war against the government itself.
00:29:48.140
Because the government has created a web of censorship entities that are funded through, you know, various Democrats and non-governmental forces.
00:30:02.200
They have the effect of taking your freedom away and turning the country into no free speech.
00:30:10.800
Eventually, you'll take your guns away, et cetera.
00:30:13.740
And I would say that citizens are literally fighting a war against their own government.
00:30:20.960
Don't you feel like the citizens are at war with their government?
00:30:27.040
But the government is jailing dissidents for pretty much bullshit.
00:30:31.660
They're trying to put Trump in jail to make sure that they have a totalitarian situation.
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There's nobody running against them that could beat them.
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If you're taking away my free speech and putting people like me in jail, I'm at war.
00:31:18.800
It looks bad now because, you know, the election is coming.
00:31:21.920
But I don't see any possibility of a Republican losing the next election.
00:31:32.080
But even if she wins, she's a little bit warlike.
00:31:39.840
So how in the world does the Republican candidate, whoever it might be, lose against a candidate who has created five wars the government is fighting and a sixth war against the citizens themselves, which he's fairly overt about because he does talk about MAGA being, you know, the biggest problem.
00:32:00.240
And then you look at the WEF, the World Economic Forum.
00:32:05.640
Did you see what they listed as their biggest risks in the next few years to the world, to the whole world?
00:32:19.500
And they said that the biggest risk is disinformation and misinformation.
00:32:23.900
What kind of a entity says that's the biggest risk?
00:32:37.080
Here's what they had, number two, extreme weather.
00:33:01.720
AI, can you please make a joke that involves what do climate change and misinformation have in common?
00:33:32.120
Extreme weather is like a fart from Mother Nature.
00:34:13.320
You know, I guess it kind of happens on its own, doesn't it?
00:34:19.080
and there was some societal polarization that came through,
00:34:47.140
who do you think was the author of this report,
00:35:14.380
But turn to the closest man and ask him if it's true.
00:35:18.140
You get dressed up and go to a nice restaurant with your man.
00:35:41.880
We've got 15 men who look like they could be dangerous.
00:35:56.080
I'm going to have to throw something at him and just run,
00:36:16.640
You're at war when you're talking to your best friend.
00:37:25.760
That might be the most sexist thing I've ever said,
00:37:39.200
I think you need the people who live war all the time
00:38:12.520
he's doing the best job of creating positive news
00:38:35.280
Now, Steve King was famously driven out of office,
00:38:46.860
with somebody accused of being a white supremacist
00:38:54.880
He says that he's with these two other controversial people.
00:39:00.980
Will they call it the brown face of white supremacy?