Episode 2435 CWSA 04⧸05⧸24
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 11 minutes
Words per Minute
144.75154
Summary
Coffee with Scott Adams is the best thing you ve ever seen, and it s all thanks to the dopamine hit of the day, the thing that makes everything better. Today's episode features a story about giant bones, and a conspiracy theory about UFOs.
Transcript
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Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.
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Pretty sure it's the best thing you've ever seen in your whole life.
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And today will be maybe the best show you've ever seen.
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Possibly the best experience of your entire life.
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But if you'd like to take it up to a level that nobody can even understand with their
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small, tiny human brain, all you need is a cup or a mug or a glass or a tank or a chalice
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or a stein, a canteen jug or flask, a vessel of any kind.
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And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine hit of the day, the thing
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It's called the Simultaneous Sip, and it's going to happen right now.
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Well, if you were a subscriber to Dilbert Reborn on Extra Locals, you would know that the
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boss went blind from looking at the eclipse, but he got his eyesight back with a Neuralink
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If you scan the headlines, you probably saw things like, oh, I don't know, probable nuclear
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There was a study in which they cured 100% of the cancers they treated.
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Now, I don't know too much about it or what, but it's the Moffat Cancer Research says they've
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got a groundbreaking study that achieved 100% cancer remission rate in all patients through
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Now, what I didn't see is what kind of cancers, because, you know, cancer is not one thing.
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We might be talking at the time that cancer is cured.
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Now, I don't want to get ahead of it, because how many times have you heard cancer is cured?
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I'll bet I've heard a thousand times that cancer has been cured.
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But what I've never heard, I've never heard of a study that cured 100% of cancers.
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Somebody says it's only good for one specific kind of cancer.
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I just saw this headline just before I went live, so I didn't get to look into it too much.
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Well, it's a specific kind of cancer, but still, I'll bet you they could tweak this to get other ones.
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Did you hear that there's a story of giant bones found in Nevada that suggests that there were real-life giants, 10 feet tall, walking around in the old days, and they even had red hair.
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And the Native Americans had stories about them.
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And you know what would really convince you that giants existed?
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I mean, they found the skeleton of the giant, and they measured it.
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So, I mean, they could just show you the skeleton.
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Just because they didn't keep their giant bones doesn't mean they're not real people.
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And there are stories of giants from all other civilizations.
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And, you know, with that many stories of giants, clearly there are giants.
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So, just because this one place didn't happen to keep the bones, that doesn't mean the other places didn't keep the bones.
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And all the many other places they found giant bones.
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Okay, every single place they found giant bones, the bones went missing.
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Well, I have an exclusive update on the giant bones.
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So, all the giant bones have been collected from everywhere in the world, and they're all in Area 54.
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Where the only way you can find out about them is a whistleblower.
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But talk to somebody who confirms that they have seen them.
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Well, speaking of things that are totally real, the job numbers are out.
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Yeah, so, I'm just joking with you about giants and UFOs.
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Let's talk about something that's totally real.
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It's so ridiculous to report job numbers when you know they're all fake.
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Let's talk about a guy you know as P. Diddy, but I think the news has decided to call him
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Well, his former bodyguard, the Diddler's former bodyguard, Gene Deal.
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Some people say he's bad, but no, he's a good deal.
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And he suggests that the Diddler has videos of politicians and princes and even preachers.
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He's having all kinds of illicit sex and drugs at his place.
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I know this is going to come as a shock to many of you.
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and have done things that are not entirely legitimate and legal and moral.
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Now, I know a lot of you didn't know that, so it's coming as a shock.
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Do we think that the Diddler was working with any government entities to gather blackmail?
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Or do you think the Diddler was doing it all on his own?
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And he just had this idea he was going to be this videotaping blackmailer guy?
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Well, I guess it's possible it was just his own thing.
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But, eh, something tells me he might have a little help from somebody.
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I'll tell you, the signal that he was working for intelligence people
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So look for that to tell you whether he's working with anybody important or not.
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it's not good enough that some forms of cancer may be cured.
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Number one, it does not create materials you can use to make bombs.
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That's a big problem with, well, it's one big problem,
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with big nuclear plants with the traditional technology,
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they could use that to make some bombs with some material
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But this new technology doesn't produce that kind of bomb-making material.
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And I think it doesn't have much chance of melting down either.
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So there's some new technology that's on the table
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So nuclear power appears to be full steam ahead from everybody.
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And it looks like it's getting the attention and the funding
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So I think nuclear is going to be one of those things
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has learned that NGOs are working as front groups
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to spread disinformation and to interfere illegally
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the same people who are manipulating the United States
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but it's usually some kind of Soros-funded thing.