Today on Coffee with Scott Adams: Gary the Cat and a new segment called The Simultaneous Pet. Plus, a story about eyelashes and why they don t need to be so short. And a new theory about why you should be eating dirt.
00:01:05.700Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.
00:01:16.500It's called Coffee with Scott Adams, and you've never had a better time.
00:01:21.020But, if you'd like to take a chance on elevating your experience up to levels that nobody can even understand with their tiny, shiny human brains, all you need for that is a copper mug or a glass of tank or chalice or stein, a canteen jug or flask, a vessel of any kind, filled with your favorite liquid.
00:09:16.600Well, I found out that due to the fact that I did not understand the rules of the EU or how my own product works, I just cost us, well, a fine.
00:10:09.780Apparently, there are all these fake college applicants that somehow, if they enroll and they stay in school, they could get some kind of federal assistance.
00:10:22.840But as many as 30% of new students are enrolling in community college classes but doing them remotely.
00:10:32.320But remotely, not really, because they're actually just bots and AI.
00:10:37.560So, AI has now destroyed community college because you try to get a class and all the good classes are already taken by the freaking robots that are scammers.
00:11:04.120Did you even imagine that, I guess at the low end, it would be like 13%, but up to 30% of the people who are allegedly in college and being supported by your taxes are just bots and crooks?
00:11:33.640Could I have guessed that community college is, you know, a giant fraudulent thing, even though they don't intend it to be, of course.
00:11:44.860Well, yeah, because it appears that everything is.
00:11:48.840Well, here's a story that's almost unbelievable.
00:11:55.960PJ Media is reporting on this, Kevin Downey, that apparently New Jersey is floating some, they're considering anyway.
00:12:06.180We don't know if it's going to happen yet, but they're considering a bill that would force homeschoolers to be taught the same kind of stuff that you go to homeschool to avoid exposing your children to.
00:12:22.600So, let me say it again, like one of the main reasons, if not, I guess it would be the main reason that people don't want to send their kid to public schools and the reason that they homeschool is so they're not exposed to all the things that would be forced upon them, even as homeschoolers in New Jersey, if they pass that bill.
00:12:47.940That is so messed up, so messed up, so in other words, it would force them into certain views on DEI and gender and climate studies, to name a few.
00:13:02.980The very things that conservatives are running away from, it's like, you know, don't give that stuff to my kid.
00:13:12.440Well, I did not see this coming, and I'm not sure we know the real story here, but Howard Stern is not retiring and seems to have a deal, and he's just going back to work and acting like it was a big old prank, because they did prank it up a little bit.
00:13:30.800He pranked it toward the end, made it look like he was done, but he really was right there.
00:13:35.480So, my guess, probably the same as yours, that there was maybe a little bit of truth to it, as in they might have said, no way, we're going to renew you at your high prices.
00:13:51.400And then he probably said, I'd still be making a fortune at a fraction of what you used to pay me, so why don't you pay me that, and I'll still be earning a fortune.
00:14:23.420Because he put a post on X today that was one of these mysterious, sort of a Trump-like, keep you curious kind of post, and all he said was, you'll thank me later.
00:14:40.740Now, what do you think that meant, you'll thank me later?
00:14:44.720The beauty of it is that he's on his way, depending on his pay package approval at Tesla, to becoming a trillionaire.
00:14:56.880How many possible things might he be doing that we would thank him later for if he had a trillion dollars to, you know, apply to it, so to speak?
00:15:40.580So I woke up this morning to find out that Elon had reposted a video that somebody had clipped of me doing a whiteboard presentation of how to be less lazy.
00:16:02.820That by buying X, he wasn't just like investing in a company that, you know, he turned around and, you know, made it viable.
00:16:12.920But he found a way that just with one touch, because he's made himself such a character on X, that, you know, he's got the gigantic account, that he can boost anything.
00:16:26.060And the effect is like immediate and, you know, just stunning.
00:17:06.820I do not believe that Mike Johnson knows that Trump was an FBI informant for the Epstein situation.
00:17:16.680And I mocked it by saying, are you telling me that we're just finding this out now, that somehow it could have been casually known by Mike Johnson, who just casually mentions it in the hallway, you know, press, gaggle, or whatever it is, and that we're just finding out about it?
00:17:37.920And, you know, I basically said, just wait, this is confused, it's getting conflated with the other story, that he was helpful to one of the lawyers.
00:17:49.600And now he has clarified that he did not mean that Trump was ever an FBI informant, that he had, in fact, sounds like he had, in fact, conflated it with the real story,
00:18:04.800that Trump was the most useful witness or forthcoming person to talk to one of the lawyers about what really was happening there.
00:18:16.600So, my BS detector worked on that story, if you're keeping score.
00:18:24.240I was laughing quite a bit this morning at the story that, allegedly, the Trump administration might require would-be citizens to complete an essay.
00:18:41.760So, they'd have an essay portion to the U.S. citizenship test.
00:18:46.600Now, is it just me, or does that seem funny, that there would be an essay part of the citizenship test?
00:18:54.240And what would you write on the essay?
00:18:57.020And wouldn't it take about five minutes?
00:18:59.700Because even the citizenship test has a study guide.
00:19:04.040They would obviously have to give you a study guide or some notes about, you know, what they're looking for in the essay.
00:19:12.780But wouldn't it be the same, I don't know, list of maybe ten things?
00:19:17.580It'd be like, all right, make sure you say that you want to be loyal.
00:19:22.120Be sure you say that you respect everybody's different religions.
00:19:28.480You know, it's going to be whatever it is.
00:19:30.460It's going to be a list of things that every single person will mention in the essay.
00:19:35.920Or, or is the real trick here to make sure they can write something in English?
00:19:45.700Because I imagine the essay would have to be in English, right?
00:19:49.780So, is it a clever way to have a language restriction?
00:19:56.260Anyway, so, it does look like it's a way to block certain people that you might want to block, whoever that is.
00:20:05.820So, there's a little bit of subjectivity to it, but I will copy what somebody said about having AI grade things.
00:20:17.900Imagine if AI grades their essays, their citizenship essays.
00:20:24.000Would that be so dismissive if it failed you on your essay?
00:20:32.060It was just AI, and no human being was even involved, and you wouldn't know how to appeal it, because everybody would appeal it if you could.
00:20:40.800So, they probably will have AI grade them, but I can also imagine, how dumb would you have to be, assuming that you could read and write in English, how dumb would you have to be to not be able to pass the citizenship essay?
00:21:01.720I mean, you kind of know what to write, right?
00:21:04.820But, it's not like they're looking for, you know, Mark Twain-level writing.
00:21:11.320They're just looking for, are you going to like the country and, you know, be loyal to it and stuff.
00:21:18.720But, I will say that requiring the essay to get into the U.S. has one advantage that is not obvious to you, but it will be, once I tell you.
00:21:33.220But, it's the first stage of brainwashing, because a healthy country does, in fact, brainwash all of its citizens to be on the same page, and to say things like,
00:21:46.720whoa, I live in the best country, and I would fight, I would give my life for the country.
00:22:06.460So, even though I call it brainwashing, I do not say it's a bad idea.
00:22:11.420It might be the only way you can build a cohesive country that can defend itself, with a whole bunch of, you know, well-intentioned brainwashing, so everybody's on the same page.
00:22:22.220But, one of the best ways to brainwash somebody is to ask them to write an essay.
00:22:29.460This is a real thing that was in the book, Influence, Childini's book.
00:22:41.600That's where I first thought, that if you get somebody to write an essay on one point of view, and these essays on citizenship would have to be, America is great, it's the best country, that's why I want to live here.
00:22:57.340If you're, if you're forced to write it, even if you're just lying to get into the country, the fact that you wrote it down and signed your name to it will, in fact, cause you to start believing those things.
00:23:11.740And that's a, apparently, well-demonstrated psychological effect, that if you're forced to write it, even though you know you're pretending, it will turn you into it, anyway.
00:23:27.660Not every person, not completely, it's one of those statistical things.
00:24:04.840I saw, I saw a, uh, article by John Forte, Blaze Media, the opinion piece, and he's talking about the importance of patriotic assimilation.
00:24:51.840But it's not really that different than brainwashing.
00:24:54.120It's just brainwashing with a good intention, you know, with a, with the intention of benefiting the greater good.
00:25:02.780But if you want to call it assimilation, that's fine.
00:25:05.760Um, so Marjorie Taylor Greene is, uh, sent a, I guess, a formal request to the DOJ and the FBI to investigate the 2020 election in Georgia.
00:25:18.960Uh, Gateway Pundits writing about this, Brian Lupo.
00:25:22.320And do you believe that we would find at this late date some confirmed, you know, rigging of the Georgia state election in 2020?
00:25:36.100How many of you believe that if they spend a little bit of time looking into it, they're going to find it?
00:25:42.140I don't know, because I'm having this groundhog day situation.
00:25:48.660If you're like me, and some of you are, the algorithm has been giving you a steady diet of, well, here's another almost guaranteed proof that that Georgia election was rigged.
00:26:02.980And then you think, well, if that's true, this will be this giant national story.
00:26:09.380And then, you know, the legal system will operate.
00:30:06.780Again, what he was certainly saying was, you know, make sure that there are not any lost votes or sketchy things going.
00:30:15.680And if you do that, it might find that I, you know, actually won.
00:30:21.380So, I'm all for it, the checking of it.
00:30:25.400If you told me, Scott, I'm going to put a gun to your head and you're going to have to bet whether they're going to find that the election was stolen,
00:30:34.460I wouldn't make the bet, but I definitely want to know more about that situation.
00:30:41.100And, you know, I wouldn't rule out that it was rigged.
00:38:17.840And they gave a pardon to the, what he calls the unselect committee, which were really the select committee, is what they called themselves.
00:38:26.800After they realized the whole situation was a hoax, and it was all their fault, including Nancy Pelosi.
00:38:34.640So he throws in all the best of, he throws in Nancy Pelosi, because he knows the crowd will appreciate a good Pelosi hit.
00:38:46.540But there's another, but there's another Pelosi reference coming up that you just have to wait.
00:42:48.720But, just because the image was so popular, it's not, I mean, it's not at the level of, you know, fight, fight, fight after he got shot in the ear.
00:42:58.180Now, that was just perfection in terms of messaging.
00:43:02.720But, the blowing up of the smuggler's boat and the way they made it just right visually is really good work.
00:43:11.580You know, in the propaganda brainwashing world.
00:43:16.740And, again, when I say brainwashing, it doesn't mean it's bad.
00:43:20.760I'm in favor of exactly this kind of winning imagery.
00:49:51.500He's not trying to take their property directly.
00:49:55.440But, as smart people have pointed out, Venezuela has, you know, these enormous oil reserves and, you know, its location in the world next to us.
00:52:37.520And you set up credit card transaction alerts, a secure VPN for a private connection, and continuous monitoring for our personal info on the dark web?
00:52:58.260Scott Bessent is backing up something that I've been saying for a while.
00:53:04.700That I've been wondering if the U.S. could, uh, collapse the Russian economy.
00:53:11.280And now Scott Bessent out of the Treasury says directly that we're going to try with the EU to use sanctions that are strong enough, especially the indirect ones where you sanction the people who are doing business with Russia, not just Russia.
00:53:28.860And he thinks that collectively the EU and the U.S. could collapse the Russian economy.
00:53:56.760Well, you remember Vivek Ramaswamy, he's running for, uh, Ohio governor and, uh, a bunch of good news there is funding is good and people are moving.
00:54:11.780Some Democrats are moving his way and they seem to be responding to his ideas for prosperity and, uh, you know, business, business success and, uh, all that.
00:54:24.980So it made me think that the fact that you, you ran for president without holding an office probably made it, you know, cause Trump is Trump.
00:54:37.740He's a one of a kind, but it probably made it nearly impossible that he would win the presidency.
00:54:43.600However, if you take a good run at the presidency and you miss, even if you're polling is, you know, in single digits, everybody knows you ran for president.
00:54:54.980So by the time you run for governor, people think, well, yeah, I mean, obviously, I mean, if he, if he got a few points for president, obviously he's a great governor.
00:55:07.220So it might've turned out to be the smartest way anybody ever ran for governor.
00:55:13.780You know, I'm sure he wanted to be president, but it had this, uh, this backup benefit that if he didn't make it to president, you're probably not too many steps away from Ohio governor, if that's what you want to do.
00:55:26.320And then he's, then after that, remember, he's really young.
00:55:30.580So after that, who knows, who knows what's left?
00:55:37.860Well, Harris lost her, uh, security detail for the second time.
00:55:42.980The first time, uh, Trump canceled it, um, which really just made it the same as other vice presidents, which is six months of, uh, being protected by the government's paychecks.
00:55:55.900And then, uh, Gavin Newsom wanted to make his play.
00:56:01.180So he put police, I think he was the one who ordered it, um, ordered police in California to just replace the security and protector.
00:56:11.800And then apparently there was a big outcry from the people who thought that the crime was too high and we needed more police and they should not be wasting their time protecting Harris.
00:56:27.660If she's got private security, but I would assume, I would assume she'd get, she'd get private security, but, uh, maybe, maybe it would be better if nobody told stories about this at all.
00:57:06.760Looks like she has private security, but wouldn't it be better?
00:57:10.180Maybe if nobody had ever reported that at all from the beginning.
00:57:15.460Well, Trump, uh, being operating in his persona, as I was saying earlier, where he couldn't get away with anything because it's just part of the show.
00:58:53.300Have you seen the meme of Homer Simpson, whose, whose mouth is contorted as if he's about to say the letter F?
00:59:07.160He's all like, I can't do the impression.
00:59:10.920But you see the picture and it looks obviously like he's about to say something that starts with F.
00:59:15.400And somebody put that around and they said, me about to form the words that I voted for this.
00:59:27.160Oh, I definitely voted for, I definitely voted for Trump forwarding memes about Nancy, Nancy Pelosi's husband being in love with a homeless hammer guy.
00:59:39.700Now, just to be clear, to the best of my knowledge, they are not in any relationship, nor have they been the homeless hammer guy, not Nancy and her husband.
01:01:36.600So, but I think the public is now too worked up and too curious and we've lost too much trust.
01:01:44.820So I think I'd be in favor of releasing everything.
01:01:48.600But if there are people who are absolutely innocent, but their names are in those files, we should do what we can to make sure that people know the difference between those who are accused and people who just knew them.
01:02:05.280Well, Israel's Supreme Court, allegedly, according to the AP News, ruled that they can't starve prisoners.
01:02:18.740But what I didn't see is that they ruled that they are starving prisoners.
01:02:25.080And remember what I tell you about a war zone?
01:02:27.720You can't believe anything coming out of a war zone.
01:02:30.280So you can't believe that people are being starved, but you also can't believe that they're not being starved.
01:02:41.240My guess would be that there are certainly people not getting enough food in pockets.
01:02:47.840And probably that they're trying not to make it a starvation situation because that wouldn't be good for Israel.
01:02:54.540It's not like they would be coming out ahead if people found out they were intentionally starving them.
01:03:00.280So, most likely, they're doing the best they can, but there are some pockets where, for a variety of good reasons, they can't satisfy everybody all the time.
01:03:14.080However, what we don't know, at least I don't know, was there ever any accusation that it was intentional?
01:03:24.700Would it ever be militarily or geopolitically intentional that Israel would try to starve the population?
01:03:36.100Now, obviously, they want them to relocate, but would they do that?