Real Coffee with Scott Adams - November 03, 2025


Episode 3007 CWSA 11⧸03⧸25


Episode Stats

Length

59 minutes

Words per Minute

144.70166

Word Count

8,551

Sentence Count

814

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary

I m dying of metastatic prostate cancer, and I can t seem to get a phone number from the White House, so I ll tell you a story about how I managed to get in touch with the President and get him to do something about it.


Transcript

00:00:00.920 Let's see what happens today.
00:00:03.620 I can't even imagine.
00:00:06.820 Almost anything could happen today.
00:00:13.240 Let's get your comments working.
00:00:15.480 Your comments will be the star of the show today.
00:00:30.000 Doesn't work without notes.
00:00:34.720 Hey, shut up, Scott.
00:00:36.760 That's another recording of me.
00:00:39.260 Don't do that.
00:00:41.760 That's enough of me.
00:00:43.840 We might take a few questions today and talk about what's going on.
00:00:47.180 You may have heard.
00:00:49.060 Anyway, welcome to the highlight of human civilization.
00:00:54.240 It's called Coffee with Scott Adams.
00:00:55.540 You've never had a better time.
00:00:57.040 But if you'd like to, take a chance.
00:00:59.340 on elevating this experience up to levels that nobody can understand
00:01:03.900 with their tiny, shiny human brains.
00:01:07.120 All you need for that is a cup or a mug or a glass,
00:01:11.640 a tankard shell, a canteen jug or a flask,
00:01:14.420 a vessel of any kind.
00:01:16.060 Fill it with your favorite liquid.
00:01:18.000 I like coffee.
00:01:19.560 And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure.
00:01:22.160 Dopamine.
00:01:24.900 Oh, you're so right.
00:01:26.640 The dopamine I.
00:01:27.580 No, the dopamine blast of the day.
00:01:33.600 I'm super high right now.
00:01:35.380 Sorry about that.
00:01:41.920 Medicinally, though, doctor's orders.
00:01:45.360 Got some painkillers in me.
00:01:46.660 You may have heard I'm dying of metastatic prostate cancer.
00:01:52.120 But unless you slept all of yesterday,
00:01:57.120 did any of you sleep all of yesterday
00:01:59.560 and miss the trouble I caused?
00:02:04.440 I caused so much trouble yesterday.
00:02:06.660 But it worked out, maybe.
00:02:10.580 I'll give you an update.
00:02:13.680 So some of you know the story that over the summer
00:02:16.540 when the news came out that I was declining,
00:02:20.080 President Trump called me home and blew my mind.
00:02:24.300 But one of the things he offered was he said that
00:02:26.540 if you need anything, let me know.
00:02:30.180 But, of course, you have to be careful about,
00:02:35.020 does he really mean that?
00:02:37.140 Does he really mean if you need anything, let me know?
00:02:41.520 He's running the whole country
00:02:43.320 and some would say part of the world.
00:02:46.540 That doesn't seem like something a president could possibly do.
00:02:49.440 But, you know, when things aren't working out
00:02:53.740 and you've got to try all the doors,
00:02:57.300 I sort of reached the end of one rope,
00:03:02.120 which was I wasn't sure I was getting any health care at all.
00:03:05.920 I might have been.
00:03:06.980 I still don't know.
00:03:08.320 But what I don't know is if they'd even started the process
00:03:11.140 to get me that potentially life-saving drug
00:03:13.920 that I've been trying to get.
00:03:15.440 And so I wrote a message saying that on Sunday,
00:03:21.540 I wrote that I would be asking the president on Monday.
00:03:26.320 Now, that would be today.
00:03:28.140 But, as you know,
00:03:30.700 President Trump likes to do things ahead of schedule
00:03:33.920 and better than you expected and ahead of schedule.
00:03:38.240 What is it?
00:03:39.000 Below budget ahead of schedule.
00:03:42.000 And I don't know who he talked to first.
00:03:45.440 But I feel like a lot of things went in motion at the same time.
00:03:55.260 So I was contacted by Don Jr., who is literally in Africa.
00:04:00.540 He's in Africa on a Sunday.
00:04:03.360 And Don Jr. is calling me and saying,
00:04:04.960 Leah, I'm on this.
00:04:06.740 You know, my father wants me to, you know, get this done.
00:04:10.540 Then Bobby Kennedy calls me.
00:04:12.560 Bobby Kennedy calls me.
00:04:13.840 You're like, what can I do?
00:04:15.120 What's the situation?
00:04:16.740 Dr. Oz calls me.
00:04:19.040 Dr. Oz.
00:04:20.720 What's the situation?
00:04:21.980 How can I help?
00:04:24.220 Oh, my God.
00:04:25.120 And then you may have seen that President Trump, best president ever.
00:04:31.980 He posted my message to him that was on X yesterday.
00:04:36.800 It was a public message.
00:04:38.780 And he just said, on it.
00:04:40.940 On it.
00:04:41.820 He was so on it.
00:04:43.320 Oh, my God, was he on it.
00:04:44.340 Anyway, it turns out that nobody in senior management at Kaiser, my health care, my health care company had a good weekend.
00:04:59.340 And they probably thought, oh, it's nice to have a Sunday off for a change.
00:05:07.080 You know, they probably work pretty hard.
00:05:08.820 I imagine they work pretty hard.
00:05:10.780 And suddenly their entire Sunday is absorbed by this.
00:05:14.560 Oh, I feel bad about it, but good about it, because it might have saved my life.
00:05:21.280 I mean, there's a very good chance.
00:05:24.520 Seriously?
00:05:26.820 Must be the...
00:05:28.620 That would be the Kremlin.
00:05:29.480 Oh, I have a phone.
00:05:42.460 I can't reach.
00:05:48.120 Well, if I can reach that phone, that'd be great.
00:05:51.920 I can throw a look at it.
00:05:54.340 No, I guess it's done.
00:05:59.480 Same phone number for 10 years.
00:06:03.580 Nobody's ever called that during the show.
00:06:06.780 Anyway, nobody would know that phone number.
00:06:12.200 Nobody's calling my...
00:06:13.180 They would have called my cell if it was anything.
00:06:15.060 Anyway, so here's the update.
00:06:18.840 The update is...
00:06:20.740 I don't want to give you too much detail on my...
00:06:27.000 actual medical treatment.
00:06:29.480 ...yet.
00:06:32.600 But I will.
00:06:33.900 So let me tell you what I'm going to do.
00:06:35.580 I'll give you lots of information about the medical path eventually.
00:06:41.600 I'll just tell you that it's under control now.
00:06:44.020 So all wheels are moving in the positive direction.
00:06:49.520 I have extra help beyond Kaiser.
00:06:52.960 I have extra help.
00:06:54.680 And I'll tell you a lot more about that.
00:06:56.460 If it works, because it will be more than Pluvictin, I just want to give permission before I talk about it.
00:07:04.240 I don't have permission to talk about it.
00:07:06.160 So if I did, I would.
00:07:09.560 So I'll be doing probably the very best thing that anybody could ever try.
00:07:15.160 A combination of things.
00:07:16.140 So that's the good news.
00:07:20.100 But it'll probably take a few weeks.
00:07:22.000 Maybe a week or two.
00:07:23.440 I don't know.
00:07:24.420 Before the first thing happens.
00:07:27.660 And then we'll see what happens.
00:07:29.580 So I thought I'd come on here because I...
00:07:31.600 I definitely...
00:07:34.140 I very much didn't think I was going to do a live stream today because I didn't think I could physically do it.
00:07:40.640 I'm in a lot of...
00:07:41.260 Still a lot of pain.
00:07:42.580 And I've been taking painkillers since I woke up at midnight.
00:07:47.520 I've already done one long live stream today, drawing.
00:07:51.900 I did a drawing live stream from locals people.
00:07:55.280 So they're the only ones who can see that one.
00:07:57.080 So if you're on locals and you didn't know, there's another lengthy drawing where I try to fight off my cats and draw Dilbert at the same time.
00:08:08.320 So, oh, there's a reason that the Plu Vecto can't be administered the day you ask for it.
00:08:16.260 It turns out that not only does it have to be administered in a special nuclear medicine environment, so you can't just do it in a doctor's office,
00:08:25.960 but it also has to be tuned to your situation.
00:08:31.680 So not everybody gets a different dose or a different formulation.
00:08:36.120 Not a different dose.
00:08:37.740 They get a different formulation within the same range.
00:08:41.980 So it would have to be tuned for me specifically.
00:08:47.460 And that takes two weeks, but they're going to try to speed it up.
00:08:51.960 So maybe one.
00:08:53.740 We'll see.
00:08:54.240 Yeah, it's nuclear medicine.
00:08:58.320 Took the nuclear option.
00:08:59.840 You're right.
00:09:02.500 You're right.
00:09:04.080 So here was my one complaint.
00:09:09.660 And it could be that it's only a communication thing.
00:09:12.300 And it could be only because my doctor was gone for two weeks.
00:09:16.060 My oncologist was gone for two weeks.
00:09:18.660 Now, I do believe everybody gets to have a vacation.
00:09:21.000 So I'm very torn about this.
00:09:24.460 You know, if you need a doctor, you want your doctor to never go on vacation.
00:09:28.540 On the other hand, human beings have to go on vacation.
00:09:33.080 You know, I can't complain about it.
00:09:36.220 I cannot like it.
00:09:37.880 But it's hard to complain about somebody taking a vacation when everybody in the world takes
00:09:42.620 a vacation.
00:09:43.920 So it may be that I just didn't know they were working on it.
00:09:48.820 But I believe that they had to interview me first.
00:09:52.100 So this morning, as soon as I'm done with this, I've got an appointment to talk to their
00:09:59.580 expert.
00:10:00.140 And I think that's how this, I think that's how it starts.
00:10:04.000 So my issue was, didn't know if the process had started.
00:10:07.760 It wasn't that it wasn't done.
00:10:10.060 I couldn't confirm it had started, which is way more distressing.
00:10:15.320 If you don't know where to get to, and you're not sure it even started.
00:10:18.500 So, but I think, and I still don't know if this is true or not, I think that today it
00:10:25.700 starts, I think.
00:10:28.940 So I'm not, I'm still not even 100% sure if it's going to start, if you can imagine that.
00:10:35.320 I'm pretty sure it will today because of all the, all the noise I made, but it should.
00:10:40.860 Anyway, I will be everybody's practice, practice animal.
00:10:53.520 They can see how well it works on me.
00:10:55.080 And if it works on me, well, we'll see.
00:10:58.060 And like I said, it's, yeah, there will be more to it than flu victim.
00:11:02.860 I just need permission to talk about that.
00:11:04.880 And then I'll yak about it so much you'll be sick of it.
00:11:10.860 What would that be?
00:11:16.260 I don't know.
00:11:19.000 Huh.
00:11:19.500 Looks like my appointment at Kaiser just changed.
00:11:23.160 Or are there two appointments?
00:11:27.420 Don't know.
00:11:28.600 I guess I'll find out.
00:11:30.280 But since you're here, I thought I would read you some reframes at least.
00:11:39.400 No?
00:11:40.860 You know what's the reframes?
00:11:42.760 From my book.
00:11:44.760 Reframe your brain.
00:11:47.040 Man, do I need that.
00:11:51.140 Boo, boo, boo.
00:11:52.360 Yeah, right.
00:11:53.620 Trump was not on vacation.
00:11:55.420 Damn right.
00:11:57.080 Damn right.
00:11:57.740 He wasn't on vacation.
00:11:59.260 And Don Jr., I don't know if he was on vacation or if he was just in Africa for business or what.
00:12:05.400 But he got back to me from Africa.
00:12:10.040 From Africa.
00:12:12.180 Okay.
00:12:15.340 Let's see what else we got there.
00:12:17.060 Oh, here's one of the most important ones in the entire world.
00:12:23.200 So the usual frame, if you're, let's say, analyzing somebody's performance, let's say you're the boss or you're in some position, maybe you're a spouse.
00:12:35.220 But you're in some position to have an opinion on somebody else's performance in any domain, whatever the performance is.
00:12:42.700 The normal way that people approach that is to tell you what you did wrong.
00:12:47.360 Am I right?
00:12:48.120 Hey, you know, if you'd done this differently, it looks like you did that wrong.
00:12:54.100 Here's the right way to do that.
00:12:55.580 What will that do to people?
00:12:57.180 Well, it will actually make them better in some cases because they'll stop doing the thing that's wrong.
00:13:02.520 And there's nothing wrong with that, stopping doing the things that are wrong.
00:13:07.320 But the reframe, which is even more powerful, is you tell people what they did right.
00:13:15.240 And the rest takes care of itself.
00:13:18.080 And this is sort of a magic trick.
00:13:20.040 You would not believe that if you simply make somebody feel good about what they're doing and you say, wow, that was great.
00:13:26.940 That part of what you did is really amazing, et cetera.
00:13:30.300 They will end up fixing the thing you didn't even mention because they'll be so inspired and enjoy it so much.
00:13:37.480 They'll be like, ooh, every time I do something a little better, I get a little praise.
00:13:42.880 So you would, wife trick.
00:13:44.660 So telling people what they did right is like a nuclear weapon.
00:13:51.100 Telling them what they did wrong might be like artillery.
00:13:56.640 Really strong.
00:13:58.120 And you could probably win a war with artillery.
00:14:00.100 But it's not nuclear.
00:14:02.220 It's not nuclear.
00:14:03.960 So yeah, tell people what they did right.
00:14:06.120 That is your lesson for the day.
00:14:08.460 But you know what?
00:14:10.160 You've been so nice to me.
00:14:11.480 How many people are actually watching this?
00:14:15.860 A thousand on Rumble?
00:14:19.000 34,000 are watching this?
00:14:21.860 It's pretty big.
00:14:23.080 Well, then you deserve another reframe.
00:14:24.700 Oh, oh, this one's good.
00:14:29.320 Okay, you're lucky.
00:14:31.240 We got to the good stuff.
00:14:33.780 This one could change your whole life.
00:14:36.100 By the way, if you're not familiar with the reframe concept, I'm a trained hypnotist.
00:14:42.040 So when I write a reframe, I'm doing it from a position of some skill.
00:14:50.000 And the beauty of a reframe is that you don't have to keep a diary or go to a therapy or talk it through.
00:14:59.720 You don't have to do exercises.
00:15:02.800 You don't have to eat different.
00:15:03.900 You literally just have to hear it once.
00:15:07.880 So my claim is that a reframe will change your life if, and this if is the important part, it's the one you needed.
00:15:17.100 If it's one you didn't need, it probably won't even, you won't even remember it.
00:15:22.200 But if it's one that you're like, oh, that's the one I needed, it will change your whole life.
00:15:28.680 It will rewire your brain, and it will do it instantly and with no effort on your part whatsoever.
00:15:35.840 That's my claim.
00:15:37.740 Now, until it happens to you, and it probably will if you stick with me and I keep reading these,
00:15:43.820 until it happens to you, you won't believe that's necessarily possible.
00:15:48.640 But once it happens, you're going to be so sold on reframes that you'll be talking about it.
00:15:55.820 Tell your friends until they're sick of it.
00:15:57.140 All right, so have I built that up?
00:16:00.100 This might be the strongest reframe you'll ever hear.
00:16:03.620 The usual frame, the old way of thinking, is that if things are going wrong, the universe is acting against you.
00:16:12.960 Have you ever thought that?
00:16:14.760 Have you ever thought, my God, the universe, the whole universe is acting against me.
00:16:19.520 Nobody can have this much bad luck one thing after another, right?
00:16:24.340 Ever have that?
00:16:25.320 Very, very suboptimal way of seeing your world.
00:16:31.780 Now I'm going to reframe it.
00:16:36.140 The universe owes me.
00:16:39.280 Kaiser is just lighting up my phone today.
00:16:42.220 They're just setting up.
00:16:43.100 I think they're setting up appointments.
00:16:45.180 That's what all that beeping is.
00:16:46.280 So, again, since I got interrupted by Kaiser, the universe is acting against me will make you feel like you're a loser, you know, make you feel like quitting.
00:16:59.660 But if you think that the universe owes you, which is exactly what I think, if you had a bad childhood, the universe owes you.
00:17:10.720 If you had a bad divorce, the universe owes you.
00:17:16.760 It's your turn.
00:17:17.440 It is almost impossible for anybody to have bad luck all the time.
00:17:22.760 So, if you have a string of bad luck, it is the surest sign that some good luck is on the way.
00:17:30.680 Does that make sense?
00:17:31.500 Because luck always gets to the average.
00:17:35.480 People have average luck over time.
00:17:37.920 In any small period of time, they might have extraordinary luck or bad luck.
00:17:41.840 But over time, it's definitely going to go back to something like average.
00:17:46.320 So, if you're in one of those, man, I can't believe how bad this is.
00:17:49.600 This week, this week, this week.
00:17:50.900 This week, it's the surest sign that the universe owes you, and it's going to pay you off.
00:17:56.880 It's the law of odds.
00:17:58.600 The universe couldn't change itself if it wanted to.
00:18:02.000 It is absolutely bound by the odds, and it owes you.
00:18:06.480 All right.
00:18:07.200 Now, let me check in with you.
00:18:09.560 How many of you were feeling that the universe was just kicking your ass,
00:18:14.620 and when I told you that the universe owes you, you could feel it?
00:18:19.500 Actually, feel it.
00:18:21.180 Like some kind of a physical sensation.
00:18:24.300 I don't know how you would describe it.
00:18:26.460 Maybe tingles, maybe something in your chest.
00:18:29.500 You could feel this one, can't you?
00:18:32.160 You see what I'm doing?
00:18:34.980 I'm just taking the persuasion.
00:18:36.760 I'm just pushing it a little extra because it's good for you.
00:18:40.280 You'll like it.
00:18:41.920 There you go.
00:18:43.420 There you go.
00:18:46.580 Oh, here's a good one.
00:18:48.800 Damn, these are good.
00:18:50.900 So the usual frame, this is one you've heard before, but no matter how many times you hear it, it's not enough.
00:18:57.360 And no matter how many times you hear it, it's not enough.
00:19:03.080 The old way of thinking about luck is that it's random and can't be managed.
00:19:12.520 How many of you think that luck, by definition, which would be a reasonable thing to this, you know,
00:19:19.000 it would be reasonable that you thought that luck is completely random and therefore it can't be managed.
00:19:25.300 So you're just, you know, you're a victim of chance.
00:19:28.580 Well, that's the old way of thinking.
00:19:31.120 Here's a reframe.
00:19:33.340 You can go where there's more luck.
00:19:36.420 You can go where there's more luck.
00:19:39.460 If you wanted to be an entrepreneur and you made the mistake of moving to the desert
00:19:45.920 and you didn't even have neighbors and there was no jobs there, how much luck would you have?
00:19:52.340 It wouldn't work out.
00:19:53.520 But if you wanted to be an entrepreneur and you moved to the Bay Area and, you know, you did all the things that network and meet people
00:20:01.840 and take the right jobs and, you know, go work for the right company and learn the right skills,
00:20:07.800 yeah, you can totally manage your luck.
00:20:09.760 Are you kidding me?
00:20:11.260 Luck might be the easiest thing you could ever manage.
00:20:14.200 You just do all the things.
00:20:15.820 You just do all the things that bring luck, like be around successful people, build your talent stack, have a system instead of a goal.
00:20:27.080 Absolutely, you can control luck.
00:20:29.460 Absolutely.
00:20:31.480 All right.
00:20:34.720 All right, here's one that's more about just not, this one's very relevant to me.
00:20:39.700 So the usual old frame is that if you're having some bad luck, you think that you're unusually unlucky because it happened to you.
00:20:49.820 You think of all the things that could happen to anybody, and then you think, oh, man, why are all these things happening to me?
00:20:57.540 Why me?
00:20:58.980 Why do I have all these problems?
00:21:01.080 That's the old way of thinking.
00:21:02.940 Here's the reframe.
00:21:04.920 The reframe is everyone has problems.
00:21:07.480 Everyone has problems.
00:21:10.880 Just the fact that you don't know somebody else's problem, that's pretty gutsy of you to think that your problem is bigger than theirs.
00:21:18.060 You don't know their problems.
00:21:20.320 You don't know anything about people's problems.
00:21:23.180 The really big ones, they keep to themselves.
00:21:25.980 You know, sometimes you can see it if it's a physical thing, like in my case.
00:21:29.620 But generally speaking, you know, people's battle is inside their head.
00:21:34.940 And that could be quite a fierce battle.
00:21:37.840 You don't know what's going on in there.
00:21:39.820 So the moment you think, why me?
00:21:42.360 Why me?
00:21:43.740 The reframe is everybody's got problems.
00:21:47.060 You don't have the special problems.
00:21:49.380 What makes your problems so special?
00:21:51.340 And weirdly, it makes you feel better because you don't feel targeted.
00:21:54.980 You still have the same number of problems, but you don't feel targeted by the universe, which is worth something.
00:22:01.940 Because if you don't feel targeted by the universe, then it's going to be much easier to use the earlier reframe where you say, I'm just going to make something happen.
00:22:15.340 All right.
00:22:16.680 Is anybody enjoying this yet?
00:22:18.060 I want to see if I should do more of these or we should pivot.
00:22:24.700 Today's experimental.
00:22:26.820 And if I'm being perfectly transparent, there are, I guess, three reasons I'm doing this today, despite being near death and not feeling good at all.
00:22:40.780 Don't feel good at all in a lot of pain.
00:22:42.400 It's a really good distraction for me.
00:22:46.360 So when I'm distracted, I'm not in pain.
00:22:49.480 And my favorite distraction, the best distraction you could ever have, is that you're doing something that's useful for somebody else.
00:22:56.900 Right?
00:22:57.800 So I'm trying to do something that's useful for you guys because that will make me distracted and feel good.
00:23:04.640 So it's selfish, but it's symbiotic, a little symbiosis going on here.
00:23:11.620 All right.
00:23:11.880 The other reason is that I'm like a tuna.
00:23:14.540 I am so trained to work at this time of day that I was downstairs 15 minutes before going live saying to myself, I guess I'll just skip today.
00:23:24.020 And then something happened, like some kind of tuna instinct.
00:23:28.860 And the next thing I know, I'm pushing my little walker.
00:23:31.820 Yeah, I sit in it and push it backwards toward the elevator.
00:23:35.220 Next thing I know, I got a cup of coffee.
00:23:38.980 And next thing I know, I'm live.
00:23:41.600 It's like there's some kind of instinct or habit that's been so deeply, you know, ingrained in me, I couldn't help it.
00:23:49.060 So there's that.
00:23:50.100 And the third reason, do you know what the third reason is?
00:23:52.740 One is it's a distraction.
00:23:56.760 Two is that it's habit.
00:23:59.580 And three is I love you madly.
00:24:02.400 That's it.
00:24:03.420 I just love you badly.
00:24:04.860 So spending time with all of you is just great every single time.
00:24:10.540 All right.
00:24:11.100 Let's do another one.
00:24:14.560 Oh, here's one from my mom.
00:24:17.980 So if my siblings are watching, you'll recognize this one.
00:24:22.740 Do you know how everybody in the world says things should be fair?
00:24:26.760 Everything should be fair.
00:24:28.760 Oh, that's not fair.
00:24:30.560 It's not fair.
00:24:32.240 Politicians say it.
00:24:33.200 Children say it.
00:24:33.900 I jokingly sometimes say that fairness was invented so that idiots and children could have something to talk about.
00:24:41.380 Have you ever heard me say that?
00:24:45.000 Fairness was invented so idiots and children would have something to talk about.
00:24:51.000 That's not fair.
00:24:52.560 Right.
00:24:52.700 But so everybody thinks that fairness is a desirable trait.
00:24:57.300 Correct?
00:24:58.680 Probably every one of you would agree with the statement.
00:25:01.520 It's better to be fair than to be unfair.
00:25:04.640 I think every one of you would agree.
00:25:07.020 Except my mother.
00:25:09.060 My dearly departed mother.
00:25:10.980 What she taught me was that fairness is sort of the enemy of success.
00:25:21.540 And that you should strive to get more.
00:25:23.980 Get more than other people.
00:25:27.680 And if you're shooting for fairness, you're a sucker.
00:25:30.620 No, she didn't use those words.
00:25:32.100 I'm making up all those words.
00:25:33.380 But in essence, in essence, old Virginia Adams, she wanted you to try as hard as you could and do your best possible work so you could have the best possible benefit from your work.
00:25:50.840 Why would she want me to play for a tie?
00:25:54.300 Why would your mother want you to play for a tie?
00:26:00.600 No.
00:26:01.360 No, she wanted me to win.
00:26:02.500 And she didn't want me to play for a tie.
00:26:06.360 Fairness is the enemy of success.
00:26:08.740 Anyway, she never used those words.
00:26:10.180 I sort of put those in her mouth.
00:26:13.760 But she certainly was on the concept.
00:26:19.080 Here's another one.
00:26:20.640 More relative to the artists.
00:26:22.900 How many of you are artists?
00:26:25.400 Either for a hobby or for your job.
00:26:29.720 Show me the artists.
00:26:31.380 We often have a lot of artists.
00:26:34.660 The people who most follow me are lawyers, medical people, engineers, and artists.
00:26:46.020 More than anybody else.
00:26:48.180 Look at all the artists.
00:26:50.120 Damn, look at all you.
00:26:52.300 That's a lot of artists.
00:26:53.800 There are more on locals than there are on YouTube.
00:26:56.680 A lot of them on locals.
00:26:59.400 Look at all that.
00:27:01.500 Wow.
00:27:02.220 A lot of artists.
00:27:04.640 It's good to see you, artists.
00:27:06.560 All right.
00:27:06.860 Here's your reframe for the artists.
00:27:09.980 Generally speaking, you would...
00:27:12.020 Let's say if you're not a good artist, this would be your frame.
00:27:14.360 For those who are good artists, you have probably already discovered what I'm about to reframe.
00:27:20.700 So this might be for the people who are not as accomplished as all of you are.
00:27:27.340 You would think that...
00:27:28.560 Here's the old frame.
00:27:29.320 The old frame would be you want to avoid mistakes.
00:27:32.920 Right?
00:27:34.120 It doesn't matter what you're doing.
00:27:35.580 It doesn't matter if you're doing art or music or what.
00:27:38.020 You want to avoid mistakes.
00:27:39.680 Duh.
00:27:40.560 Everybody wants to avoid mistakes.
00:27:43.380 But that's the old way of thinking.
00:27:46.260 Here's the reframe.
00:27:48.540 Invite mistakes into your art and keep the good ones.
00:27:52.660 Invite mistakes into your art and then keep the good ones.
00:27:56.900 And the reason that you do it that way is that you can't always anticipate what the art will feel like until you do it.
00:28:05.500 You have to do it and then feel it.
00:28:08.700 And then if you feel it and it feels right, but it looks wrong, you keep it.
00:28:16.020 Did you hear that?
00:28:17.080 It looks wrong, but it feels right.
00:28:19.200 It looks wrong, but it feels right.
00:28:22.640 So you keep it.
00:28:24.000 That's art.
00:28:26.900 All right.
00:28:31.540 These are all gems.
00:28:32.820 I don't know why this is a more popular book.
00:28:37.500 I'm completely aware of the fact that this is having a big impact on the lives of the people who happen to be here today.
00:28:43.520 You kind of got lucky.
00:28:45.780 And I say that with all due humility.
00:28:49.100 The reframes are doing the work, not me.
00:28:50.800 I'm just reading.
00:28:52.860 But they are powerful.
00:28:53.900 And if you endure, you know, a couple dozen of these, the odds of it changing your life are really good.
00:29:00.960 Really good.
00:29:03.520 All right.
00:29:03.980 Here's the next one.
00:29:05.860 Have you ever been tasked with coming up with a good idea?
00:29:09.800 You know, you knew you needed a good idea.
00:29:11.640 Maybe it was your job to come up with a good idea, but you didn't have one.
00:29:16.460 So the old frame is that you need to come up with a good idea.
00:29:22.560 So it's the come up with that's the active part.
00:29:26.020 You're coming up with it.
00:29:27.360 You're inventing it out of nothing.
00:29:29.620 But that's an old reframe, an old frame.
00:29:33.180 Here's the better one.
00:29:34.920 I need to release all my bad ideas as quickly as possible.
00:29:38.740 Sounds like the opposite, doesn't it?
00:29:40.560 So instead of coming up with a good idea, you focus on releasing the bad ideas.
00:29:47.160 Meaning that if you keep thinking of a bad idea and it's stuck in your head, it's more important to get rid of that bad idea.
00:29:53.180 Because a new idea will come in automatically.
00:29:57.220 Ideas come in, well, if you're a creative person at all, creative ideas will come in automatically.
00:30:02.980 As long as there's a landing space.
00:30:05.800 So you have to like clear the landing space.
00:30:08.580 It's less important that you're producing ideas, producing, producing, producing.
00:30:13.000 It's more important that you're getting rid of them because you're producing somebody.
00:30:18.000 And if the old ones are getting in the way, they'll really slow you down.
00:30:21.600 So, get rid of the old ones.
00:30:28.760 Excuse me.
00:30:32.960 All right, here's one.
00:30:36.920 Do you ever have that, what's it called when you feel like an imposter at your job?
00:30:42.460 That would be imposter syndrome.
00:30:47.580 I always confuse that with Dunning-Kruger.
00:30:49.580 But Dunning-Kruger is different.
00:30:51.600 It's just imposter syndrome, right?
00:30:53.760 So, if you have imposter syndrome where you think, I'm just faking it.
00:30:57.900 Everybody else seems like they know what they're doing.
00:31:00.100 But I hope they don't find out, I'm just faking it.
00:31:03.980 So, almost everybody will have the imposter feeling at one time or another.
00:31:08.460 So, the old reframe is, I feel like an imposter at my job.
00:31:13.880 Here's a reframe for feeling like an imposter.
00:31:16.880 You ready for this?
00:31:18.340 This will completely wipe that away.
00:31:21.280 If you've ever had imposter syndrome, I'm going to remove it forever now with one sentence.
00:31:28.400 Do you think I can do it?
00:31:29.580 With one sentence, I will cure forever if you have the feeling that you're ever an imposter.
00:31:37.460 Here it comes.
00:31:39.540 Everyone is an imposter.
00:31:42.600 And we're done.
00:31:44.740 Everyone's an imposter.
00:31:46.700 There's no such thing as the non-imposter.
00:31:49.640 Everybody is pretending to be a little bit better than they are.
00:31:53.160 Some are pretending to be a lot better.
00:31:55.960 Some are pretending to be a little bit better.
00:31:58.620 But everyone's an imposter.
00:32:01.280 And they also, if they're smart at all, they know they're an imposter.
00:32:06.600 They know you're an imposter.
00:32:08.080 But here's the important part.
00:32:10.300 They know you know they're an imposter.
00:32:13.780 As soon as you think there's such a thing as imposters and non-imposters, well, then you're in trouble.
00:32:20.600 Because you won't have anybody to certify that you're not the imposter.
00:32:23.680 Because we all feel like imposters.
00:32:25.560 But as soon as you realize that everyone's an imposter, it's not like, well, let's divide them up.
00:32:32.000 We've got a bunch of imposters over here.
00:32:34.140 And a bunch of real ones over here.
00:32:35.740 No, they're all imposters.
00:32:37.760 Just different degrees.
00:32:40.700 Yeah.
00:32:41.840 That will change some lives.
00:32:46.180 All right.
00:32:49.360 Well, here's a useful one.
00:32:50.880 So this one would be almost the basis of maybe, I don't know, half of all mental health technique.
00:33:00.340 So this one will look familiar.
00:33:03.360 But the more you remind yourself of it, the more useful it is.
00:33:05.960 So the old frame would be that the way your mood is determined is by your internal thoughts.
00:33:13.240 If you're in a bad mood, probably your internal thoughts are bad.
00:33:17.960 If you're depressed or anxious or whatever, it's because your thoughts, your internal thoughts are bad or suboptimal.
00:33:29.180 But here's the reframe.
00:33:31.180 You can improve your mood by completing meaningful tasks.
00:33:34.920 You can improve your mood by completing meaningful tasks.
00:33:41.380 That's it.
00:33:42.620 Just get some work done.
00:33:44.200 Get something done.
00:33:45.620 Everybody feels better when they get some of that.
00:33:49.040 Maybe just cleaning the house.
00:33:51.220 But if you do something meaningful, especially if it's meaningful toward your future, such as signing up for college classes or increasing your talent stack or something like that, it's all going to be good.
00:34:08.160 All right.
00:34:10.920 All right.
00:34:12.100 So you can improve your mood by completing, but more generally, you can improve your internal feeling by changing what your body is doing.
00:34:21.920 Because I always tell you, your body is your brain.
00:34:25.080 This is that.
00:34:26.320 Your body is your brain.
00:34:27.300 If you take your body and go for a run, your brain will feel better.
00:34:32.440 If you, well, you know, if you do anything that's good for your body, your body will reward you and your brain will like it.
00:34:41.840 All right.
00:34:44.220 Here's one that maybe this one won't.
00:34:47.720 This won't help you too much, but it made me feel good.
00:34:52.240 The old frame is that some kind of art is good.
00:34:55.920 And some kind of art is bad.
00:34:59.740 Would you agree that that's basic?
00:35:02.580 Some art is good.
00:35:03.700 Some art is bad.
00:35:04.520 Everybody would agree with that?
00:35:06.240 Nope.
00:35:08.600 That's an old frame.
00:35:10.240 Sorry, my.
00:35:12.860 For some reason, my nose is wrong.
00:35:15.760 So the old frame is that some art is good and some is bad.
00:35:19.760 Here's my reframe.
00:35:21.000 And again, this is purely, this is self-serving as hell.
00:35:25.920 If there's a market for the art, it's good art.
00:35:28.980 That's my reframe.
00:35:30.580 My reframe is, is somebody going to buy it?
00:35:34.660 If somebody's going to buy it, it's good art.
00:35:38.380 If they would only be willing to look at it if you bought it, I'm not so sure that's good art.
00:35:48.460 So the reason I think that this is funny is that my art would often be considered substandard, but it is highly purchased.
00:35:59.840 You know what I mean?
00:36:02.660 So Dilbert is not considered a, you know, a Mona Lisa kind of work of art.
00:36:12.200 But people buy it.
00:36:14.260 So you tell me.
00:36:16.220 If people are going to put their money on it, isn't that a better sign that there's some art going on?
00:36:23.960 All right, that one's just for me.
00:36:29.580 Here's what I've taught you before.
00:36:31.660 But again, every time you hear this, it's more powerful.
00:36:34.880 The old way of thinking of things is that if you create something, let's say you make a TV show or a song or something, and somebody praises it, it could be a product.
00:36:46.640 But somebody praises it, you've got something good.
00:36:50.300 Would you agree?
00:36:51.660 If you make a thing, whatever the thing is, and people say good things about it, you've got a hit.
00:36:59.780 Right?
00:37:01.180 Nope.
00:37:02.800 Nope.
00:37:03.260 What people say about your creation is almost unrelated to its potential success.
00:37:10.300 Instead, the reframe is only action predicts a hit, not words.
00:37:19.060 So you want to watch for people to extend or modify your creation.
00:37:23.940 Does that make sense?
00:37:25.400 I'll give you an example.
00:37:27.120 When Dilbert first launched, a lot of people said, oh, I like that.
00:37:32.600 And some people said, I don't like that.
00:37:34.680 But the words were not really predictive.
00:37:37.760 Some liked it.
00:37:38.500 Some didn't.
00:37:39.140 Probably more didn't than did.
00:37:41.360 But at the same time that people were talking about it, the part that's not predictive, there were other people who were making their own Dilbert books by taking my comics and cutting them out, organizing them by theme, and then putting them in a binder.
00:37:56.560 And effectively making their own book.
00:37:58.560 And effectively making their own book.
00:38:00.120 Now, the first time I heard somebody do that, I go, really?
00:38:03.680 You literally have been cutting them all out, organizing them, and making your own book?
00:38:09.540 Yes.
00:38:11.240 And then I heard somebody else do it.
00:38:12.980 It's completely unrelated.
00:38:14.740 Somebody who had nothing to do with the first person.
00:38:17.220 And I thought, really?
00:38:18.920 There are two people in the world who would make their own book out of the scraps of comics I'm making?
00:38:25.120 And then it turned into, you know, three people, four people, five people.
00:38:29.080 If you have multiple people who are taking your product and turning it into some form of a related product, like the book, that is 100% predictable that you have a hit.
00:38:42.920 What people do is really predictive.
00:38:46.200 What people say, well, we say a lot of stuff, but we don't spend our time on anything that we think is not worth the time.
00:38:56.240 But we'll talk about things that aren't too important.
00:38:59.540 We'll lie.
00:39:01.240 But nobody lies by making a Dilbert book, right?
00:39:06.360 There's nobody who ever woke up and said, I'm going to fool people by making a Dilbert book when there's not a Dilbert book.
00:39:13.400 This was before there was any, there was no Dilbert book.
00:39:17.220 So, yeah.
00:39:17.960 So watch what they do, not what they say.
00:39:22.180 Here's one for writers.
00:39:24.180 Anybody have writer's block?
00:39:26.700 If you have writer's block, next two reframes are for you, okay?
00:39:32.980 If you have writer's block, you often say to yourself while you're sitting there, I have writer's block.
00:39:37.800 The worst thing you could do is sit there with writer's block and say, I have writer's block.
00:39:44.420 So I deny that it exists.
00:39:46.780 That's part of my technique.
00:39:48.720 That's not the reframe, I'm just telling you.
00:39:50.780 I deny that it exists.
00:39:53.220 I have been personally asked, do I get any kind of writer's block?
00:40:00.660 It's probably the single most frequent question I've ever been asked.
00:40:06.220 Do you ever get any writer's block?
00:40:07.800 Do you know what I always say?
00:40:09.680 Nope, never.
00:40:11.340 Not once.
00:40:12.760 It's not even a thing.
00:40:15.720 As soon as you allow that it's a thing, it kind of becomes a thing.
00:40:20.300 But let me tell you the reframe so it'll never be a thing.
00:40:23.380 You ready?
00:40:23.740 I will solve writer's block for you right now.
00:40:29.000 So instead of saying I have writer's block, the first thing, this is just one of two reframes.
00:40:35.100 Instead of saying you have writer's block, say I'm trying to write at the wrong time of day.
00:40:38.760 It's the wrong time of day.
00:40:41.660 Because I can tell you that I can write at early in the morning.
00:40:46.940 I have no writer's block ever.
00:40:51.040 But by mid-afternoon, I might be tired.
00:40:54.800 So I might be trying to write at the wrong time of day.
00:40:58.140 It's not really the writer's block.
00:40:59.880 That would be a time of day problem.
00:41:02.300 So you solve the time of day problem, not the writer's block problem.
00:41:06.020 The other reframe is I might be in the wrong environment for writing.
00:41:11.420 I've told you too many times that when I go to Starbucks, as soon as I sit down in Starbucks,
00:41:18.180 all writer's block goes away.
00:41:20.240 Now, I can't say that works for everybody.
00:41:22.920 Because it's sort of magical the way it works even for me.
00:41:26.600 But there's something about the time and place and the environment and the noise and the sound and the smell,
00:41:32.680 the familiarity.
00:41:34.260 I don't know what it's all about.
00:41:36.440 But sometimes it's the time of day.
00:41:39.560 Sometimes it's where you are.
00:41:42.340 Likewise, when I go to Hawaii, which I probably won't do again,
00:41:46.500 but when I went to Hawaii, I would get so much good work done.
00:41:50.240 Because if you sit on a balcony looking at the beach in Hawaii,
00:41:54.000 you don't ever want to leave.
00:41:55.820 But you don't have anything to do except work.
00:41:58.860 So it turns out that the work becomes so fun that you just don't have any writer's block at all.
00:42:04.060 All right, here's the payoff.
00:42:07.700 So the first few were good writer's block reframes,
00:42:13.680 but they don't get you there.
00:42:14.920 This is the one that's going to bring you across the finish line.
00:42:19.040 You ready?
00:42:21.640 Instead of thinking, I can't think of anything good to write,
00:42:24.180 think I can write something bad and fix it.
00:42:29.960 The reason that you don't write something on the page
00:42:32.420 is not exactly because you can't think of anything.
00:42:36.740 Everybody can think of something.
00:42:38.580 It's just that you don't think it would be worth writing down.
00:42:42.880 So instead of judging it before you write it down,
00:42:46.640 you write it down first.
00:42:48.860 You look at it.
00:42:50.000 If you don't like it, you delete it.
00:42:52.020 Or you edit it or you change a word.
00:42:53.960 But it's way easier to tweak something that's already on the page
00:42:58.500 than it is to put something on the page.
00:43:01.340 And the moment you realize that you can write something bad,
00:43:05.500 that's totally allowed.
00:43:07.820 It's completely allowed to write something that you won't ultimately use.
00:43:12.480 You can write anything.
00:43:14.100 Nobody's watching.
00:43:14.800 And if you write something bad,
00:43:17.080 it's more likely to suggest something to you that's not bad.
00:43:22.800 You just have to do something.
00:43:25.080 So the do something is the key part of not having writer's block.
00:43:30.480 So if you were to watch me writing like over my shoulder
00:43:35.360 and I didn't know you were there,
00:43:36.920 you would see me write a sentence, delete it,
00:43:39.160 write a sentence, delete it, write a sentence, delete it.
00:43:42.640 And I'm a professional writer.
00:43:44.880 You would imagine that I could write the sentences I want and then move on.
00:43:49.240 It doesn't really work that way.
00:43:51.200 It's way easier to tweak than it is to just know the right thing.
00:43:58.020 All right.
00:44:01.540 How are we doing?
00:44:04.460 7.43.
00:44:06.200 Is everybody still having fun while I'm changing lives?
00:44:10.000 Do we really have 84,000 people watching this live?
00:44:14.340 That's not even counting X.
00:44:16.220 X is usually 30,000.
00:44:17.900 So that would be about 100,000 people watching it live.
00:44:20.440 I guess I should have done this before.
00:44:22.660 If you're just joining,
00:44:24.460 I did give a health update in the beginning of the stream.
00:44:28.900 If you want to go back and catch up on that.
00:44:32.260 But since I'm not prepared and not feeling good today,
00:44:34.720 I'm reading it in my book,
00:44:37.240 reframe your brain.
00:44:39.960 And I decided I would change some lives while I'm here.
00:44:43.540 And don't have much of a plan except that I'm going to do that.
00:44:47.700 All right.
00:44:48.380 We'll do it live.
00:44:50.620 All right.
00:44:51.120 These are the mental health reframes.
00:44:54.640 Now we're into some good stuff.
00:44:57.100 Did you ever have,
00:44:58.460 well,
00:44:58.740 I've done this one before in a number of ways,
00:45:01.180 but the more ways I do it,
00:45:02.740 the better it is.
00:45:05.460 Did you ever think that you are your inner thoughts?
00:45:08.560 Sometimes I say that.
00:45:10.660 I think my Akira the Don song says something like that,
00:45:14.520 that you are your inner thoughts.
00:45:16.840 How many of you think that who you really are,
00:45:20.200 the real you,
00:45:22.040 is what you're secretly thinking that maybe not everybody knows?
00:45:26.160 Is that who you are?
00:45:26.940 Are you your secret thoughts?
00:45:29.980 It feels like it,
00:45:31.140 doesn't it?
00:45:32.380 Well,
00:45:32.860 that would be the normal way of thinking of things,
00:45:34.800 but I'm going to give you the Dr.
00:45:37.220 Laura reframe that blew my mind when I heard it years ago.
00:45:41.040 Instead of you are what you think,
00:45:42.840 you are what you do.
00:45:45.060 You are what you do.
00:45:46.700 Now this might confuse you because the Akira the Don song that
00:45:50.740 features my podcasting voice put to music,
00:45:54.220 which recently released,
00:45:55.560 I say,
00:45:57.820 what do I say?
00:45:58.760 That you are what you think about the most.
00:46:02.420 Now that would be confusing,
00:46:03.860 wouldn't it?
00:46:04.300 I said you are what you do,
00:46:05.780 not your inner thoughts,
00:46:07.360 but I also said,
00:46:09.320 you are what you think about the most.
00:46:11.540 The way to reconcile that is that the,
00:46:14.160 you are what you think about the most is in the context of,
00:46:17.760 you can change what you do,
00:46:19.420 which is what you think about.
00:46:22.620 So thinking is doing.
00:46:24.580 So if you consciously change the amount of time you're thinking negative
00:46:28.740 thoughts and you consciously make sure,
00:46:31.480 no,
00:46:31.720 that was a negative thought.
00:46:32.680 Let me,
00:46:33.060 let me throw in some positive thoughts.
00:46:34.560 Well,
00:46:36.240 then you can actually change who you are to a happier person,
00:46:39.260 for example,
00:46:40.300 less neurotic.
00:46:41.880 But generally speaking,
00:46:43.160 you are what you do.
00:46:44.720 So if you have some bad thoughts about people that you never mentioned,
00:46:48.760 but you save babies from a burning building,
00:46:52.960 you're still the person who saved the baby from the burning building.
00:46:56.580 That's way more who you are than the secret thoughts that you didn't tell anybody.
00:47:02.220 So you are what you do.
00:47:03.960 If you want to be a better person,
00:47:06.200 do better things.
00:47:08.300 Do something nice for somebody.
00:47:10.600 If you want to be popular,
00:47:13.820 do something nice for somebody.
00:47:17.460 Right.
00:47:19.760 Here's one.
00:47:21.300 How many of you have ever thought or maybe gagged when you heard somebody else say it,
00:47:25.780 that they were trying to find themselves?
00:47:28.160 I need to find myself.
00:47:30.660 I need to,
00:47:31.200 I need to figure out who I am.
00:47:35.680 Bad idea.
00:47:36.980 Here's the reframe.
00:47:38.400 Instead of being a explorer and trying to figure out who you are,
00:47:43.640 how about authoring yourself to be what you want to be?
00:47:46.740 You can author your situation.
00:47:49.660 You don't have to discover who you are.
00:47:52.740 You can make yourself who you want to be.
00:47:55.540 That's one of the great things about human life is that you don't have to be.
00:48:01.320 You don't have to be anything.
00:48:03.580 You can author yourself into almost any kind of situation.
00:48:09.400 You know,
00:48:09.760 obviously you can't author yourself a billion dollars just because you want to.
00:48:13.140 Maybe some people can.
00:48:16.000 But I love these words.
00:48:17.860 Instead of finding yourself,
00:48:19.240 author yourself.
00:48:20.800 That's very,
00:48:21.280 that's very powerful.
00:48:22.180 If you,
00:48:23.420 you know,
00:48:24.000 if you take that to heart,
00:48:25.480 author yourself,
00:48:26.160 because sometimes we forget that we have that power that we can turn
00:48:31.100 ourselves into whatever we need to turn ourselves into.
00:48:35.720 All right.
00:48:38.960 Oh,
00:48:39.520 here's a good one.
00:48:40.720 So if you tend to be judgmental,
00:48:44.780 does anybody have that problem?
00:48:46.180 Is there anybody here who tends to be too judgmental and you know,
00:48:51.220 it's hurting you because people don't like it and maybe you don't like it
00:48:54.860 either,
00:48:55.260 but you're just too judgmental.
00:48:57.800 All right.
00:48:59.520 Yes.
00:49:01.220 All right.
00:49:01.760 If you're judgmental,
00:49:02.640 here's a reframe for you.
00:49:04.880 Instead of the usual frame for judging people,
00:49:07.480 which is that some people are good and some are not,
00:49:11.600 it would make more sense to say we're all flawed.
00:49:14.320 And we're all good at different things.
00:49:18.880 We're all flawed.
00:49:20.960 And we're all good at different things.
00:49:23.440 Isn't that fair?
00:49:25.100 It's not like you're the good one.
00:49:27.300 And the person you're judging is the bad one.
00:49:29.980 You know,
00:49:30.360 you don't think you've got some flaws.
00:49:36.540 What is that?
00:49:37.540 I'm getting many phone calls from people.
00:49:45.560 I don't know.
00:49:48.220 All right.
00:49:49.520 So let me finish that one up.
00:49:51.180 Yeah.
00:49:51.320 People are flawed,
00:49:52.260 but in general,
00:49:54.240 almost everybody that you're judging is going to be better than you at least
00:49:58.000 one thing.
00:49:58.580 Almost inevitably,
00:50:02.060 no matter how much you judge somebody,
00:50:04.360 there's probably at least one thing that they're just better than you.
00:50:08.860 So don't be so judgy.
00:50:14.480 Here's one.
00:50:15.420 Your critics are evil monsters.
00:50:18.020 You ever think that about your critics?
00:50:19.700 The people don't like you.
00:50:20.900 They're evil monsters.
00:50:21.820 Well,
00:50:23.680 I like to reframe my critics as my mascots.
00:50:27.060 You've heard me do that.
00:50:28.560 If somebody is enough of a critic that they can't leave you alone and they just
00:50:32.340 make it their,
00:50:33.020 their life's work to criticize you specifically,
00:50:36.060 just stop calling them a critic and stop calling them anything else.
00:50:42.460 Really?
00:50:47.440 It's funny.
00:50:48.360 Phone's not even ringing.
00:50:49.540 I was doing that.
00:50:51.820 I better see if any of these look like.
00:50:56.800 All right.
00:51:00.500 Okay.
00:51:01.080 Don't know most of those people.
00:51:04.940 Something's going on.
00:51:08.000 All right.
00:51:08.720 How about this?
00:51:12.440 Oh,
00:51:12.920 here's one on criticism.
00:51:14.600 If you hate criticism,
00:51:16.620 does anybody hate being criticized?
00:51:19.900 If I get criticized,
00:51:21.060 it's just a,
00:51:21.980 you know,
00:51:22.500 a Monday doesn't mean anything because I do this for a living.
00:51:26.220 But if you get criticized,
00:51:27.660 it probably stings.
00:51:29.860 I'll betcha.
00:51:31.360 Nobody likes being criticized.
00:51:32.560 But the old way of thinking of criticism is it feels like a dagger to your heart.
00:51:39.200 Like,
00:51:39.600 Oh,
00:51:40.700 I hate that criticism.
00:51:42.520 It's like a dagger to my heart.
00:51:44.920 Here's a reframe.
00:51:46.600 Criticism is a chemical reaction in the skull of someone who isn't in the room.
00:51:50.260 Criticism is based on a chemical reaction in the skull of someone who isn't even in the room with you now.
00:52:01.560 It could not be less important.
00:52:04.280 If it were in the room with you,
00:52:06.780 maybe.
00:52:08.160 But if they're not in the room with you,
00:52:10.460 all that's happening is there's like this little,
00:52:12.480 you know,
00:52:14.120 this,
00:52:14.360 this little,
00:52:15.120 I don't know,
00:52:16.100 recipe that's boiling in their head.
00:52:18.440 It's suddenly happening in their head.
00:52:21.620 It's no more meaningful than if you walked by the,
00:52:24.280 the,
00:52:24.820 the stove and some water was boiling.
00:52:28.620 And you'd be like,
00:52:29.660 Hey,
00:52:29.860 there's some water in that,
00:52:30.900 in that bucket.
00:52:32.260 It's boiling.
00:52:34.040 Well,
00:52:34.520 that's all that's happening with your credit,
00:52:36.540 except that inside of the bucket,
00:52:38.200 it's a skull.
00:52:39.340 And instead of boiling water,
00:52:40.940 it's just their,
00:52:41.700 their brain chemistry is doing whatever.
00:52:44.120 It has nothing to do with you.
00:52:46.300 It just doesn't have anything to do with you.
00:52:48.660 It's just some chemicals boiling around inside a skull.
00:52:51.860 That's not in the room.
00:52:53.360 That's it.
00:52:55.000 Right.
00:52:58.180 Here's one.
00:53:03.040 I've been hearing other people talk about this more as well,
00:53:06.120 because once you hear it,
00:53:07.300 it's so useful.
00:53:08.120 You'll,
00:53:08.400 you'll end up saying the same thing.
00:53:10.240 Here's the one that is most likely that you will use and tell to somebody
00:53:15.960 else.
00:53:16.960 I think the most likely.
00:53:19.420 So the usual frame,
00:53:22.080 and we all fall into this,
00:53:24.240 is that everybody's thinking about us.
00:53:26.080 Um,
00:53:28.880 you ever think that you think,
00:53:30.560 Oh my God,
00:53:31.180 they're judging me.
00:53:32.520 They're thinking about that mistake.
00:53:34.100 I made,
00:53:34.680 they're watching me.
00:53:36.160 Nobody's watching you.
00:53:37.880 Nobody cares.
00:53:39.180 You know,
00:53:39.460 maybe if you're,
00:53:40.220 I don't know,
00:53:41.700 in seventh grade or something,
00:53:43.000 but if you're an adult,
00:53:45.420 people aren't really paying too much attention to you.
00:53:47.920 So as soon as you imagine that other people care,
00:53:51.520 probably not about whatever it is you're worrying about.
00:53:54.700 I mean,
00:53:54.940 they might care in various ways,
00:53:56.760 but not about whatever you're fretting about.
00:53:59.920 They're not thinking about you at all.
00:54:01.320 Once you realize that people don't really think about you,
00:54:05.720 it really makes everything easier.
00:54:07.880 You won't get embarrassed.
00:54:09.720 You know,
00:54:09.860 even if you did get embarrassed,
00:54:11.260 you'd be like,
00:54:12.140 okay,
00:54:12.420 they will care about that for 10,
00:54:14.940 nine,
00:54:15.340 eight,
00:54:15.600 done.
00:54:17.120 You might care about it for longer,
00:54:19.280 but you don't need to because they don't care.
00:54:21.520 If they don't care,
00:54:22.520 why would you care?
00:54:23.700 You know,
00:54:24.220 even after they've said it.
00:54:26.200 So nobody cares.
00:54:27.520 It's easier.
00:54:28.640 Your critics,
00:54:30.120 obviously your loved ones care about you,
00:54:32.420 but your critics,
00:54:34.060 they're not really thinking about you too much.
00:54:38.360 All right.
00:54:43.520 Here's a good one.
00:54:47.140 Is there anybody here who's a germaphobe?
00:54:50.640 I actually have a reframe that can cure a germaphobe.
00:54:53.760 You know,
00:54:55.280 again,
00:54:55.660 not every person,
00:54:56.740 every time,
00:54:58.000 but for some people,
00:55:00.060 some of the time it will cure a germaphobe.
00:55:03.220 And this is one that cured me.
00:55:05.640 Instead of thinking that germs will harm me,
00:55:08.240 because of course,
00:55:09.380 germs will have the potential to harm you.
00:55:11.420 Now,
00:55:11.640 when I say germs,
00:55:13.020 I'm talking about really anything that you don't want to get on you,
00:55:16.140 but I'm just using a generic germs.
00:55:18.560 Instead of saying that germs will harm you,
00:55:21.060 I actually say this.
00:55:22.380 This is like a real thing.
00:55:23.420 I say germs will make me stronger.
00:55:26.700 And you've probably seen some science that if you were a kid and you grew up in a sterile environment,
00:55:32.480 you would not be ready for the real world,
00:55:34.620 because you hadn't been exposed to enough germs and cooties.
00:55:37.640 So germs is how you tune your body.
00:55:42.160 And I literally tell myself,
00:55:44.540 oh,
00:55:44.920 there's no problem getting some extra germs,
00:55:47.420 because I'll just be tuning my defenses.
00:55:50.260 And it went from,
00:55:52.660 oh,
00:55:52.960 my God,
00:55:53.540 I don't want a germ,
00:55:54.520 germs,
00:55:56.100 to,
00:55:56.540 all right,
00:55:57.020 load it up,
00:55:57.940 load it up,
00:55:58.760 stronger today than I was yesterday.
00:56:00.140 And it's remarkable how easy it is to go from these germs are going to be the end of me to these germs are tuning me up and making me stronger.
00:56:09.980 You just sort of have to repeat it and it just becomes true.
00:56:14.620 So that's what's happening.
00:56:18.440 All right,
00:56:18.800 ladies and gentlemen,
00:56:19.800 you have been so nice to stick with me through this.
00:56:25.620 We're approaching the top of the hour.
00:56:28.680 I know some of you have something to do.
00:56:30.200 I've got,
00:56:30.660 I've got to get ready for my long day of medical everything.
00:56:34.580 I've got problems.
00:56:38.180 It was wonderful to spend time with you,
00:56:40.180 because as I told you,
00:56:41.000 it takes my mind off of my physical pain,
00:56:44.020 which is kind of bad.
00:56:46.520 And I get to spend the best time of my day,
00:56:50.920 which is with all of you awesome people.
00:56:55.100 And I also know that even though,
00:56:58.840 you know,
00:56:59.320 I haven't met most of you in person,
00:57:01.500 that it actually means something to you when I tell you that you're my beloved.
00:57:04.580 And how much I enjoy spending time with you.
00:57:07.400 It's all true.
00:57:08.200 It's all true.
00:57:08.780 I wouldn't say it.
00:57:10.360 And I know that that gives you a little boost.
00:57:13.120 So that's how you can start your day.
00:57:15.240 And you certainly give me a boost.
00:57:17.580 My God,
00:57:18.460 you give me a boost.
00:57:19.740 I could not be more appreciative of not only my audience here,
00:57:23.900 but if you,
00:57:25.040 if you,
00:57:25.600 if you came in later,
00:57:27.020 I could not be more appreciative of president Trump,
00:57:31.980 Don Jr.,
00:57:33.580 Bobby,
00:57:34.580 Kennedy,
00:57:35.920 Dr. Oz.
00:57:38.120 And I'll have some more people to name later,
00:57:40.580 but I want to make sure I have permission.
00:57:43.060 And,
00:57:43.480 and they've been amazing.
00:57:47.180 Dr. Drew,
00:57:47.980 of course,
00:57:48.400 always,
00:57:48.900 always my friend.
00:57:49.880 and a number of other people.
00:57:52.940 If I,
00:57:53.300 if I didn't mention somebody,
00:57:54.500 it doesn't mean that.
00:57:55.880 It doesn't mean anything.
00:57:56.840 I got contacted by so many people yesterday.
00:57:59.260 And it's all very meaningful to me in ways that you can't even imagine.
00:58:05.660 So,
00:58:07.940 ladies and gentlemen,
00:58:08.880 this is the,
00:58:09.620 this is what we have today.
00:58:12.260 I don't know if I'll be back tomorrow.
00:58:13.740 Honestly,
00:58:14.080 I don't know how long I can do this,
00:58:15.960 but for today,
00:58:17.200 that was your show.
00:58:19.300 And we'll get back to,
00:58:20.540 we'll get back to the news,
00:58:22.260 maybe sometime soon.
00:58:24.720 All right.
00:58:26.040 Closing down.
00:58:26.800 All right.
00:58:27.000 All right.
00:58:27.440 All right.
00:58:28.040 All right.
00:58:28.720 All right.
00:58:29.400 All right.
00:58:35.660 All right.