Episode 3009 CWSA 11⧸05⧸25
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
140.23024
Summary
Dilbert's new calendar is out now, and it's twice as good as it was before. And it's made in the USA, which is a big deal because it's the first time it's been printed entirely in the US, and unlike all the years except last year, it's on the front and the back of every page.
Transcript
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Come on in. We got a show to do. You might like it. You might. It's entirely possible.
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Come on in here and grab a seat. Get a beverage. I'm trying to figure out how to get to my
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book. All right. It's over there somewhere. Come to me. Come to me. There we go. There
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we go. Everybody feeling good today? It's a special day. I'll tell you why in a minute.
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Very special day. You'll never guess why. Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the
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highlight of human civilization. It's called Coffee with Scott Adams, and you've never had
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a better time. But if you'd like to take a chance on elevating your experience today up
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two levels that nobody can even understand with their tiny, shiny human brains, all you
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need for that is a cup or mug or a glass, a canteen jug or flask. No, no. No, that's not
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right. You need a cup or mug or a glass, and then you need a tank or chalice or stein. But
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then you need a canteen jug or flask, a vessel of any kind. Fill it with your favorite liquid.
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I like coffee. Oh, it's a two-hander situation. Join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of
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the dopamine the other day. The thing that makes everything better. It's called the
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Let's do it with some good coffee. Excellent. Excellent. Well, I wonder what's happening
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today. Anything happening that would be, like, amazing? Anything at all? Oh, yeah. The new
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Dilbert 2026 calendar is launching today. If you go to amazon.com and look for my name and
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the 2026 calendar, but you make sure you get this one, not the one that's a counterfeit,
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not the other counterfeit, and not the other pirated one, and not the counterfeit, the counterfeit,
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or the counterfeit, get the real one, and skip the pirated, pirated, counterfeit, counterfeit,
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counterfeit, which, by the way, Amazon is helping us get rid of, but there are a lot of them.
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Now, what you don't know, it's printed entirely in the USA, and unlike all the years except last
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year, it's the first year we did it this way, we've got a little stand, and look how this little
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stand has a little flag on it because it's printed in the USA. That's right. It is. Made in America.
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And do you know what else is special about it? Let me tell you. Once I got canceled,
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I could do it any way I wanted, and so for the first time ever, it's got comics on the front and
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the back of every page. It's literally twice as good as before I got canceled. But twice as good?
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No, it's better than twice as good because the new comics on the back are the spicy ones,
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which we call Dilbert Reborn because there's nobody who's my editor who tells me I can't do this.
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What do you mean I can't do this? I can do anything I want. It's a free country.
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So this is freedom, people. You've got stuff on the front that might have passed the corporate
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filter back when it was originally created. By the way, these are all comics that have run
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in some place, usually just online. But you've got comics from the past combined with comics from the
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past year. So there's some that are much older, and then there are some that are from this past year.
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The past year are the spicy ones. And if you go to Amazon, it's the only place you can buy it
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because of the free shipping. It was just easier to do it in one place. So I would hope,
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oh, by the way, I'm going to say something that sounds like pure marketing, but you know I'm not
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going to lie about this, right? So this is not a lie. This is completely true. We probably printed
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fewer than we people will want to buy. So because I have to pay for these up front, I have to estimate
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how many we're going to sell. And so I went low because I didn't want to do all this work and then
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end up spending more than I made, which is very possible. So there is a relatively small number
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of printed ones, tens of thousands, but it would be a fraction of what we would normally make.
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So if you want to make sure you get one, and I swear this is real. I'm not only saying it for
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marketing, but it's also marketing, obviously. I would get it right away because there's a pretty
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good chance that these will be sold out by December. And again, obviously that just sounds
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like marketing and sales and sounds like BS, but we actually, you know, created the situation
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intentionally because we didn't want to print too many. So definitely not BS. Now, as a tradition
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requires, oh, this is the stand by the way, cool little stand. I'm going to give you a reframe
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of the day from my book, which has been out for a while, reframe your brain. Look at all
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these people who've already ordered it. You're awesome. I love you guys. You're the best.
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Let me make sure that I can see your comments really clearly. Put them on two different machines.
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That'll get it done. All right. So this would be in the mental health reframes port of my
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reframe your brain book. Here it is. Well, there's a few that I want to skip.
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Here's what I told you about this one before, but this is more like a magic trick.
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But if you try it and it works, it'll be your magic trick. So I'd say this is not on the level
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of some of the other ones where it definitely will make your life better if you listen to the
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reframe. This one just might be really, really convenient for some small number of people.
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And it goes like this. The usual frame is that if you're cold, that coldness is a form of pain
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and could also be a signal that you're in danger. That's what pain's for, right? Coldness is just a
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form of pain. But I once saw somebody reframe coldness and stand outside in freezing temperatures
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just because they'd reframed it in their mind and stayed out there for probably two hours
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assembling a piece of outdoor furniture. I couldn't believe it when I saw it.
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But the reframe is that coldness makes you healthier and stronger.
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Now, I don't know if it does. That's not really relevant. But if you feel like the coldness
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is contributing to your good health, it actually feels different. So this is a little heaven and
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just trick. If you're standing outside and saying, my God, it's cold. It's injuring me.
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You'll feel like you're being injured and you won't be able to take it. If you say the colder I am,
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it's like a cold plunge. People literally pay. They pay to be made really cold. So it can't be
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terrible to be half as cold as people pay for. So you just imagine that the cold is making you
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healthier. You'll be amazed that for some of you, and again, this won't work for most people,
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but for some of you, you're going to be amazed. You're like, could I have done this the whole time?
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I tried this and it worked. I just made cold go away for at least some set of temperatures.
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Well, Eric Dolan is writing in a side post that Wikipedia's news sources show a moderate liberal
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leaning. How many of you could have guessed that if they did a study of the Wikipedia sources that
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you would find that they lean left? I'll bet you every one of you knew that. Maybe the surprise is
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that it's moderate, but it sort of depends what you call moderate, doesn't it?
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All right. So next time they don't have to do that study, you could just ask Scott. Scott,
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do you think Wikipedia leans left? Yes. We're going to do a study to find out. Yes. You don't
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have to. Cancel that study. All right. Here's one. You tell me if this is backward science.
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Backward science, where they get the cause and effect backwards. You decide. The BMJ group is
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writing about this. They say that voting behavior in elections is linked to future risk of death.
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So if you think you're going to live a long time, you're more likely to vote.
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Is it the voting that makes you live longer? Or is it more likely that the being in good shape,
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which makes you live longer, makes you more likely to do everything that is physical?
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Is there anything in the world that you don't do more of when you're feeling good? I don't think
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so. I think it's backward science. Yeah. Backwards to science. All right. I like to teach you to spot
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backward science because it's just everywhere. And by the way, the write-up did acknowledge that
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that the causation could be either direction. So I will give them credit for being transparent about
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that. Apparently, the White House posted a TikTok video featuring the president dancing to a Nicki Minaj song
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because Nicki Minaj and the president are on the same page about alleged Christian massacres in Nigeria.
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I'm going to say alleged because I haven't looked into it. There are a lot of smart, well-informed people
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who say it's happening. So I'm not doubting it. I just don't know. I haven't looked into it.
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But there is some pushback. So the only thing I know is that some people are saying there's not
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that much Christian massacring going on in Nigeria, to which I say, how much would be the right amount?
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What exactly is the right amount of Christian massacring that you say? Well, that's about right.
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Yeah. I thought it was going to be high, but that's about right. That's about right. Anyway, so I don't know
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the number, but the post-millennials all over this, Roberto Wacquerel Cruz is writing about it.
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And Nicki Minaj, I think, thanked President Trump for speaking out about it. So that's one of her causes.
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She said the president and his team, thank the president's team for taking this seriously.
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God bless every persecuted Christian. Let's remember to lift them up in prayer.
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So once again, President Trump finds a popular thing. This has got to be 90-10. I don't know.
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Is there somebody who's in favor of the massacre of the Christian churches?
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Well, a few people, but fortunately not too many.
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All right. What else? There was an election yesterday, but it was so boring.
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German heating costs are up 82% this year, or since the Nord Stream blast, actually.
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Up 82%, according to the European Conservative.
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Do you know how mad we would be if our energy costs were up 82%
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They know who did it, and they know exactly what the impact on them is.
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So I don't know what they're going to do to fix that.
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Anyway, according to an account called Kim Monsimis, or you could call this person chubby
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because that's what they call themselves, researchers have come up with a gel
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that can fix your teeth, at least the surface of your teeth.
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It's like a coating that you can put on your teeth, and it will get rid of your cavities
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So we might be on the cusp of the half of whatever we call dentistry just going away,
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It'll just because they have some gel that they can put on your teeth,
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Yeah, so I'm seeing in the comments that you found some of the pirates.
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The pirate copies are a different color, first of all.
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So you want to look for the one that's sort of the burnt, what is it, the orangish.
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You don't want the blue ones or the other colors.
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And you don't want the one that spells Dilbert with a space after the eye.
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So if they misspelled Dilbert on the Dilbert calendar,
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that would be like a signal that that's not a legal one.
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This guy, Jeff Yass, some billionaire trader guy, Jeff Yass,
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he donated $100 million to the University of Austin,
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which if you've not heard about it, it's just recently set up,
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I think, in the last year or so, maybe a year ago.
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And it's a fledgling program set up by some venture capitalists
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So they're trying to make a college that's a little bit more resistant
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And now you've got $100 million coming in from one billionaire.
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That's probably the difference between this working out
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And they're blue states where you'd expect them to win.
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So you've got Mom Donnie, who's your communist, says Trump,
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And what I saw from a post by Rachel Janfaza is that young women are the story
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Because 81% of young women voted for Mom Donnie.
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And 78% voted for Spanberger, per NBC's exit polls.
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That would tell you, sort of nobody else mattered.
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Women just decided, well, we're just going to take over this election.
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Like, what would be the reason that the young women would be so completely different
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By the way, if you missed the news yesterday, I'm basically Dr. Manhattan today.
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Because I had some nuclear medicine treatment yesterday.
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Because I'll turn them into nuclear holocausts.
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So I'm going to be drinking a lot more water in front of you.
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You know, whenever you get a new medication, they tell you you're going to be tired.
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You know, I always tell you that I, for years, I've been telling you that I sleep about four
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And I'm completely aware that nobody believes that's true.
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And without me even asking, it just tracks how much I sleep.
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I was actually wondering if it was really four hours.
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Anyway, the other theory for why the young women would like the socialists is that they're
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They didn't evolve for self-defense the same way men do.
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And the way men evolved would be less about let's share everything and more about can't
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Can't I just, maybe I could just kill this animal.
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Maybe our family could just enjoy all this meat that I just got.
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So there's definitely a male-female evolutionary difference.
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And unfortunately, if women become big enough numbers to control the electorate, which in these cases, apparently
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they have, that would guarantee a destruction of those places.
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Because they don't have the same sense of self, let's say, self-protection.
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If we're nice to everybody, things will just sort of work out.
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I've decided to like Bill Ackman, even no matter how much I might dislike or disagree with him on politics.
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So I don't want him to have necessarily more power or anything like that.
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I believe he probably has a normal amount of fear that normal people have.
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But he still acts like he'll still do something, even when his risk, his personal risk, is just through the roof.
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So he's taking a lot of risks with his investments.
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So, you know, he'd been anti-Mamdami, which feels useful to me, right?
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And then Bill Ackman says on X, congrats on the win.
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If I can help New York City, just let me know what I can do.
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They didn't like that he immediately became available as a helper to the person.
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And maybe we don't want to be helped that much.
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So, but I love the, I personally like the fact that he offered.
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I don't think anybody's going to take him up on the offer.
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It doesn't bother me when I see people say, you should stay, you know, just stay on your side.
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And, you know, let's make sure that the other side doesn't do well.
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Is if we make sure they don't do well and then the voters notice and get rid of them.
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However, I'm going to choose that I like brave people who are trying to be useful.
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If you're brave and you're trying to be useful, it's hard to beat that combo.
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This is the same reason, I've never said this before, but have I?
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Bill Maher, his entire career, I think, is probably based more than anything else on the fact that he's not afraid of anything.
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Like, he'll do stand-up comedy even if he might bomb.
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How many of you could do stand-up comedy before you're good at it?
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So when I see Bill Maher, even if I'm disagreeing with him on, you know, huge issues and stuff, which I often do, fewer lately, but historically I've disagreed with him on some big stuff.
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I still think, wow, that was brave of you to say that in public.
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So I like the brave ones who are trying to help, even if I disagree with all their policy preferences.
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Well, according to Polymarket, Florida and Texas real estate prices are going to go up because of all the escaping millionaires.
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How many of you think the whole, the millionaires are going to pack up the buggy and move out of New York?
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Well, apparently there has been a loss of millionaires, but I don't believe our data is good enough to really know if we're losing, you know, 1% of our millionaires.
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I mean, I wouldn't have any big debate about it.
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But it does seem to me that maybe we're worried a little bit too much about the millionaires leaving.
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You know, remember what I told you not too long ago, that apparently the commercial real estate in New York City actually is recovered.
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Now, how many of you thought that would happen?
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That commercial real estate would already, like right now, is already recovering.
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So we could be equally blind to just millionaires like, ah, damn it.
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I'm going to complain as loudly as I can, but everything I care about is here.
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Mom Donnie gave a speech and nobody cares what he said.
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We're all trying to find meaning in this election.
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I mean, they just said three candidates, they were better than the other candidates, you know, according to their own side.
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Anyway, Mom Donnie says, New York will remain a city of immigrants.
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Now, let me say that like it's an actual English word.
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Also here in California, Proposition 50, as we called it, passed.
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And apparently that would allow California to change their districting lines in the state,
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which could change the number of people that they send to Washington to represent them,
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which could give them more Democrats and fewer Republicans, like none.
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They like having a nonpartisan commission that decides what the lines are.
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Now, we know that, not from the election, that that's not what the election was.
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That 9 out of 10 California voters said they'd like to see a nonpartisan commission decide what the district thing is.
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Current situation is exactly what 9 out of 10 voters wanted.
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So 9 out of 10 wanted a nonpartisan commission.
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They voted to get rid of the nonpartisan commission.
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Do you think they knew what they were voting for?
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So there was an election just for the purpose of getting people to vote for the opposite of what they thought they wanted,
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without knowing that that's what they just did.
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Now, to be fair, if you'd asked the question this way and said,
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how would you like us to cleverly, cleverly redistrict so that there were more Democrats in Congress and fewer Republicans?
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Well, then they would get, you know, 9 out of 10 people would say yes to that.
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Well, now we're going to have this stupid argument all day long and probably for weeks or months about now that Mamdami got elected,
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is he the leader of the party or is he the leader of the party or is it AOC?
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And the Republicans are going to try to get advantage by pushing that whoever they think is least capable is the leader of the party.
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It was funny watching the Republicans trying to push Jasmine Crockett and Bernie Sanders and AOC as the heads of the party.
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Because, you know, Republicans know that they're not going to be the most popular ones among the normies.
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Because if he's the head of the party, then the Democratic Party is really socialist.
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You know, it's going to be, you're going to be so tired of that argument.
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Remember, MSNBC, apparently at least two times, people are watching them carefully,
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brought up the idea that Trump tearing down the ballroom and building a new ballroom
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might be the reason that Republicans didn't do well in the election.
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How many of you think that isn't bat-shit crazy?
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Isn't it a little bat-shit crazy to think that the election results in these three states
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had anything to do with building a ballroom for the White House?
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Now, it's possible because just the way the news handled it, like this,
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Nobody would build a ballroom like this except Hitler.
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Hitler is the only one who would build a ballroom.
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He only had one ball, but he needed room for it.
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I think Lawrence O'Donnell actually suggested that maybe thousands of people voted who would
00:29:13.160
not have voted otherwise, but they were motivated by the ballroom.
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How dumb are there viewers that they'd be watching this and like, yeah, yeah, probably motivated
00:29:27.900
I mean, seriously, how dumb would you have to be to think that that was a motivating factor
00:29:37.980
I was just desperately looking for anybody who had a different take.
00:29:41.240
You know, anything interesting to say about the election that wasn't what everybody else
00:29:48.960
The closest we got was Palantir's CEO, Alex Karp, talking about Zoran Mamdani in New York
00:29:57.920
He said, quote, we're about to probably have a complete disaster.
00:30:07.880
He said, if you asked, do these things actually work?
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Now, these things, he's referring to the socialist policies for bringing down expenses, you know,
00:30:18.240
like your free transportation and your subsidized housing and your free food.
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So Alex Karp is asking, do these things actually work?
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And everyone's like, of course, I'm not going to vote for that because these things obviously
00:30:40.640
So of course, you're not going to vote for that because it doesn't work.
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And he says that instead of asking, does it work?
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I think you've heard on the five, you've heard Greg Goffel talk about the imaginary problems
00:31:05.720
The Republicans have real policies, mostly not for health care, but for other things,
00:31:14.960
And the Democrats have literally imaginary solutions to imaginary problems.
00:31:21.800
And they're actually competing against people with real solutions to real problems.
00:31:29.660
But what Alex Karp says, CEO of Palantir, he said, instead they ask, meaning the Democrats,
00:31:40.840
Yeah, that kind of is what's happening, isn't it?
00:31:43.080
That the Democrats are asking, does it work in theory?
00:31:52.340
It's just, it's wild that imaginary problems are just thrown in the mix with the real ones.
00:31:58.860
And then we just treat them like it's like, well, some imaginary, some real, but we'll treat
00:32:03.580
And then we'll get real ridiculous by trying to draw some conclusion that this election
00:32:13.100
yesterday tells us something about the midterm results that will happen in 2026.
00:32:19.440
Do you think that this election tells you anything about the midterm?
00:32:25.120
It might have told you that if Trump's not on the ballot, you don't do so well if you're
00:32:39.120
I mean, to me, it seemed like the election was sort of generic and it was entirely about
00:32:51.480
The Wall Street Journal says that if Democrats can convince voters that they're a better
00:33:01.440
To which I say, what kind of an opinion is that?
00:33:10.060
Which one of you could not have written that opinion?
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If we do a really good job and make people richer, hold on, hold on, I'm piecing this
00:33:24.760
If we make them richer, they would like us less.
00:33:32.880
And if they liked us more, trying to think how that would turn out for us if we ran for
00:33:37.900
an election, if they like us more, they're far less likely to vote.
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If they like us more and we make money and they make money for us, we'll like them more.
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These are literally just common sense wrapped up like somebody came up with the idea.
00:33:58.420
The first time anybody came up with the idea that giving people money would make them want
00:34:12.440
I heard some rumors yesterday, but no confirmation, that the dirty Democrats were planning to open
00:34:19.080
up the government once the election was over because they wanted to use it as an issue,
00:34:37.520
I do think it is possible that the Democrats will say, you know, it's about time we opened
00:34:48.540
Trump is still threatening that he might want to nuke the filibuster rule.
00:34:55.280
So, that they can get things done with 50, well, a bare majority instead of the 60 votes
00:35:08.100
You know, I told you I was, I'm not really a big fan of breaking the filibuster, except
00:35:13.560
in this exact situation where the other team is just not even pretending to be helpful.
00:35:22.200
If you're not even pretending, you know, to be part of a government that's trying to work
00:35:27.100
for the people, then yeah, just nuke the whole thing, you know.
00:35:34.780
But will they be worse than not having a government, which is what our current situation is, or
00:35:43.520
I mean, it all sounds bad, but could it be worse?
00:35:52.020
Apparently, according to News Nation, the U.S. submitted some plans to the U.N. about an
00:35:58.720
idea for a security council for Gaza, security council.
00:36:03.080
So, basically, that would be boots on the ground, ideally not American boots.
00:36:08.360
That would be the peace plan guarantors for Gaza.
00:36:14.960
And do you think everybody loved it, and then we're all set?
00:36:21.700
So, we don't know where that's going, but there's going to be a whole bunch of, how about
00:36:28.040
I would say that so far, the Gaza ceasefire, as Trump says, I think I would call it holding.
00:36:36.560
You know, even though every day there's some report of somebody who broke the ceasefire,
00:36:41.500
that's so normal with one, you know, situation like this, that that's a lot closer to not
00:36:47.560
breaking the ceasefire, even though technically it's being broken.
00:36:51.520
It just isn't big enough that it would derail anything.
00:36:56.780
Speaking of Venezuela, which we weren't, oh, by the way, we got these seven bodies of the dead
00:37:10.980
So, there's still some dead bodies of hostages from other countries that have yet to be returned.
00:37:23.040
Apparently, we're, the U.S. is putting a whole bunch of firepower around Venezuela.
00:37:30.060
So, we're sending our, what is it, our biggest, biggest warships.
00:37:35.480
So, the U.S. S. Gerald Ford is, they say, steaming toward the region.
00:37:58.660
And I guess we've got some other big warships over there, making it look like we're,
00:38:03.600
it's starting to look like we're converting from a defensive kind of catch-a-few-cartel people
00:38:09.940
to something that looks more like a total offensive force, is what it looks like.
00:38:16.020
So, that would suggest that we're getting ready for some kind of on-the-ground action,
00:38:21.940
or at least shooting some artillery, or sending some drones.
00:38:25.760
But it looks like we're getting real serious about Venezuela.
00:38:30.240
Or, is this part of Trump's usual strategy, where he makes them think,
00:38:35.780
oh, I'm definitely going to attack your country?
00:38:38.600
Unless, you know, unless we can work out a deal.
00:38:41.380
Well, I mean, I'm not 100% committed to it, but I wouldn't say I'm not.
00:38:57.720
And the asset is, do you really want all of our warships surrounding your country,
00:39:02.000
and you don't know if we're going to unleash them at any minute?
00:39:14.600
Anyway, I guess we took out some more drug boats.
00:39:24.420
No American has yet been injured or killed in these attacks,
00:39:29.440
But my take on this is, it's a good thing we started now,
00:39:39.660
Because, you know, that was always a possibility.
00:39:43.100
If the cartels had concentrated on developing, let's say,
00:39:47.320
whatever drone facilities they need to do what they're doing,
00:39:50.520
they might have also developed some defensive weapons that were drones.
00:39:56.300
So you don't want to get to a point where the bad guys have so much time
00:40:05.840
The cartels were developing their own air force, mostly drones.
00:40:12.660
But at some point, the U.S. had to send in the military
00:40:18.500
because the cartels were just becoming their own military.
00:40:26.300
So, of course, we're going to get tough with Mexico.
00:40:37.700
and he refused to rule out his father running for a third term.
00:40:50.440
I'm sure Eric and Don Jr. and the whole family,
00:40:54.520
they certainly know that if they leave that option,
00:41:00.120
even though Trump himself has said there's no path for that.
00:41:03.920
But if they leave it open, they know it's a news cycle,
00:41:25.320
that they're going to build data centers in space.
00:41:43.380
So it would be way cheaper if they can pull it off
00:42:26.140
and all of it's because we're trying to get to Mars.
00:43:21.100
because he thought he was a good pick to run it.
00:43:23.880
In the short term, Sean Duffy's been running it,
00:43:46.260
with whatever else was happening behind the scenes
00:43:55.560
in that job that originally they wanted him to be in.
00:44:07.260
decided, you know, in this particular situation,
00:44:24.960
and work with Trump on all these things I agree with.
00:44:31.800
Maybe it was just getting some extra comfort with him.
00:45:00.020
that's more determinant of success than non-action.
00:45:27.920
which is the administration maybe acted too fast
00:46:22.220
And since there's no Bureau of Labor Statistics
00:46:35.780
But it does not look like AI is causing layoffs.
00:46:54.600
Is that the first time we've ever heard of that,
00:47:03.820
You know, you get fired if you're not DEI enough.
00:47:21.280
Amazon has now sent a legal threat to perplexity.
00:47:54.320
which is what perplexity started as just an app,
00:48:23.900
He was one of those judges that was law-faring Trump,
00:48:32.300
is going to formally introduce articles of impeachment