Real Coffee with Scott Adams - Episode 789 Scott Adams： #Shampeachment Theater, Liz and Bernie, Lev Parnas, China Deal

00:00:00.000 Hey everybody, I hope you can hear me when I plug in my microphone after I've already started.

00:00:19.620 Sorry, I'm a little late. I'm late because there's so much news. There's news all over

00:00:26.000 the place and it's good and it's fun and it's the good kind. It's the funny kind. It's the best

00:00:31.400 kind. And all you need to enjoy the news today is a cup or a mug or a glass, a tank or chalice

00:00:39.660 or stein, a canteen jug or flask, a vessel of any kind. Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like

00:00:45.860 coffee. Join me now for the unparalleled pleasure, the dopamine of the day, the thing that makes

00:00:51.400 everything better, the simultaneous sip. Go.

00:00:56.000 I know, I'm three minutes late. Why? Good reasons. Good reasons. When you see the quality

00:01:06.320 of today's Periscope, you're going to say to yourself, I'm glad I waited the extra three

00:01:12.820 minutes. Wow. It's blowing me away. It's so good. First of all, I'd like to start with

00:01:22.120 a tip. If you saw today's Dilbert comic, you know, it's about the topic of people who repeat

00:01:28.720 themselves. Have you ever been in a debate with somebody who keeps repeating the same

00:01:34.460 point? And you say to yourself, you say to them, no, I understand your point, but here's

00:01:41.000 what I'm saying. And then they'll just say that same point again, as if you had not addressed

00:01:46.500 it, here's what you do. After about the third or fourth time that the person you're talking

00:01:52.740 with says exactly the same point, say, hold on a second. Let me write this down. You

00:01:59.600 take a little note and a paper and you say, all right, I will stipulate. And you write

00:02:04.760 down the sentence. Bob says that it involved birds or whatever it is. Doesn't matter. You

00:02:12.420 put it on a little piece of paper and you put it on the table between the two of you face

00:02:16.800 up so it can be read. And then you start your conversation again. And at that point, when

00:02:27.640 the person starts repeating themselves, this is what you do. You just reach over to the

00:02:32.180 piece of paper and you just slowly move it a few inches in their direction. And it's going

00:02:37.920 to make them mad. Then wait until they repeat it again, because they will. And then again,

00:02:45.840 reach over and take the little note that says exactly what they just said and just move it

00:02:50.940 a little bit closer to them. Eventually, the person will get really angry at you and storm

00:02:56.540 out of the room. Victory. All right. Let's talk about the Democrats or let's say the left

00:03:04.160 is in complete self-immolation mode. They've turned on each other. It's a wonderful sight to

00:03:11.280 see. And you're seeing it all over. Did you see the story about Wendy Williams mocking Joaquin

00:03:18.540 Phoenix for a, let's say, I don't even want to say. I'm not even going to say. But let's say it's

00:03:26.280 something physical. It was one of the worst things I've ever seen on television. When I saw it,

00:03:32.100 I thought, seriously, that's what you're mocking? You're mocking this guy for that in public?

00:03:41.380 Well, she had to apologize. And it's not up to anybody except Joaquin Phoenix to accept it or not.

00:03:47.440 But the trouble that she got into is one more example of the left eating itself.

00:03:55.400 But my favorite is Michael Moore, who is quite distressed that Warren and Bernie Sanders are at

00:04:07.380 each other. And he says, they both appeared in my films. I love them both. Why Elizabeth chose to

00:04:13.960 stick a knife in Bernie's back is beyond me. Well, it's not really beyond me. So let me explain this to

00:04:23.760 Michael Moore. There's this thing called the presidential election that's coming up. And

00:04:30.280 there's this thing called the primary. There are people in the primaries who want to win.

00:04:36.840 And then they do things like that, because that's how you win. Did it work? Totally.

00:04:43.680 Now, a lot of you said, Oh, Elizabeth Warren, it sounds like you're, you're causing trouble. You said you

00:04:50.780 wouldn't, you're stabbing Bernie, that seems bad. You know, sort of a bad look, and all that.

00:04:57.900 But a day later, totally worked. I would say that Operation Stab Bernie in the back was a complete

00:05:06.440 success. If you saw the panel that, well, actually, most of the pundits said, well, the big moment from

00:05:14.100 the debate was when Elizabeth Warren said that the only people on the stage who had ever won any

00:05:20.580 elections were the women. Actually, the others had won elections. But they had also lost, I think, 0.95

00:05:28.040 10 elections. But the women had won every election. Tremendously good political point. So from a point of 1.00

00:05:40.320 controlling the conversation, moving people's attention where you wanted to move it, I'm going

00:05:46.900 to say Elizabeth Warren, A+++. She totally changed the conversation, made it about the, sort of

00:05:56.740 highlighted the fact that it's a bunch of, you know, white people on the stage, which is bad enough. 0.63

00:06:02.860 But at least there are some women, right? Because the day before that, we were all talking about, ha ha ha, 1.00

00:06:10.820 Democrats are the party of inclusivity, and they just got rid of all of their people of color on the 1.00

00:06:16.320 stage. Wasn't that the story two days ago? Two days ago, that was the story. Not anymore. What's the story

00:06:24.400 today? Thanks to Elizabeth Warren, the story today is, hey, there's still two women on the stage, and 0.91

00:06:32.800 are we ignoring the fact that they've won all of their elections, and that the men on the stage have

00:06:39.160 10 lost elections collectively? It's a really good point, just in terms of politics. I'm not saying

00:06:47.740 it's a good point in, you know, the world, or that it's a good point logically or rationally or anything

00:06:53.740 else. But politically, wow. So I'm going to say Warren has the play of the week, political play of

00:07:02.840 the week, very successful. I think she actually changed how people are thinking about this.

00:07:08.920 Good job. Now, the real question is, who's lying? Is Bernie lying when he says, I never said a woman

00:07:18.000 can't win, or is Elizabeth Warren lying when she says that he did say that? I have the answer to

00:07:26.100 that, in my opinion, all right? So I can't read minds, but if you, of course, you've all seen it

00:07:32.860 by now, the clip of Elizabeth Warren not shaking hands with Bernie, and CNN magically found a separate

00:07:41.920 audio file that they matched up with the video so you could hear what she was saying. And Elizabeth

00:07:47.140 Warren walks directly over to Bernie and says, you accused me of lying on television. I think,

00:07:54.140 did you say on television or in public? Now, what have I taught you about detecting liars?

00:08:02.980 Liars say things such as, what evidence do you have? Or, you know, why would you make that

00:08:11.600 accusation? Based on what? You know, that's what a liar says. Here's what an honest person says.

00:08:18.760 They get right in your face, and they say, you're a liar. Now, keep in mind that it's not clear that

00:08:27.060 Warren knew that this would be picked up on audio. Some are suggesting she's smart enough to know that

00:08:33.700 there probably was an audio. Some have suggested she was colluding with CNN and that, you know,

00:08:39.460 she knew there would be an audio. I'm not going to say it was that clever. It looked like an honest

00:08:45.640 moment to me. So my impression is that she actually believed Bernie lied. I believe that Elizabeth

00:08:56.720 Warren believes her own story. I also believe, because of everything that Bernie has said and done

00:09:04.640 and his entire career, he's so credible to me and to many of you. But to me, he's completely credible.

00:09:12.620 So you have two versions that both believe their stories, I believe. So my opinion is that they both

00:09:20.960 absolutely do believe their versions of the story. How unusual is that? Not. It's two movies on one screen.

00:09:29.960 Two people were in a room, and when they left the room, they had two different impressions of what

00:09:35.400 happened in the room. How unusual is that? Zero unusuality of it. See, I made up a word. Unusuality.

00:09:44.960 You can use it. Yeah. One of the things about being a professional writer is that if I start using a word,

00:09:52.340 it could enter a common usage. So the unusuality, or maybe it's already a word, but I doubt it.

00:10:00.880 So let me give you another example of exactly this situation, which is also in the news.

00:10:07.040 So there's a story about, let's see, a gentleman, Peter Lucido, who's a Michigan state senator.

00:10:17.120 Now, he's apologized after a female reporter, so a young 20-something reporter, was spending some time

00:10:27.700 with this Michigan state senator, and I guess he said that he was going to be meeting with some high

00:10:33.340 school boys later, and said that she should hang around because it'd be a lot of fun, according to

00:10:40.080 him. So his version is, hey, you should hang around. It's going to be a lot of fun hanging out with

00:10:45.360 these guys from this high school. Hang around a little bit. She says that some version of it was

00:10:53.880 that you'll have a lot of fun with those boys, and they'll have a lot of fun with you, if you know

00:10:58.740 what I mean, or some version of that. So her version of a private conversation between two people,

00:11:05.420 she left the room, and I think she actually believes that he said something with an inappropriate

00:11:11.920 sexual tone to it. If you watched his response, he looks really credible when he says, that didn't

00:11:19.740 happen. I just said it would be fun. It has nothing to do with any kind of sexual anything. Now, it's

00:11:26.520 possible that one of them is just lying, right? But I don't think so. I think they're both telling the

00:11:34.660 truth. Because exactly like Warren and Bernie, I think two people had the same experience,

00:11:43.020 but watched two different movies. And when they left, they both believed their movie.

00:11:48.500 How many times do you need to see people experiencing two different movies in the same place

00:11:55.360 before you understand it's the most normal thing in our experience? It's not the exception.

00:12:03.940 Because if you imagine it's the exception, you say, okay, one of them's lying. It's not one of those

00:12:09.680 weird cases where somebody saw two different movies in the same place. That would be weird. It's not.

00:12:15.980 That's the operating system of human beings. We're subjectively creating our own little

00:12:21.560 environments and worlds all the time. It's the basic way we operate. Once you understand that,

00:12:28.140 everything starts making a little more sense. So that's my preliminary. Maybe it's my final

00:12:34.660 conclusion. Warren telling the truth as she saw it. Bernie telling the truth as he saw it. Two people

00:12:42.660 who are being honest, although Warren may be a little opportunistic by bringing that up at exactly

00:12:49.540 the right time. Seriously, that was just a great, great political play. Ethical? Not so much.

00:12:58.420 But still within the realm of what we expect in our political process. So it's not that far out.

00:13:08.500 We're going to talk about impeachment in a moment. Here's an example of why it's better to be a

00:13:14.840 boomer than a doomer than a doomer. Now, boomers, people like me, my age, we have a lot of experience.

00:13:22.860 We've seen a bunch of things. Does it help? Well, let me give you an example. Today, I saw a message

00:13:30.320 came into me from a social media platform. And it was a writer asking me if I would be interviewed

00:13:37.220 for an article he wants to write on the topic of love and persuasion. And because I talk about

00:13:45.120 persuasion, he thought, oh, I'll ask this cartoonist guy if he will give me some quotes for my article

00:13:52.520 on love and persuasion. What did I say? Because I'm a boomer, and it's not my first day on earth,

00:14:02.160 I said, nope. Nope. Not get anywhere near it. Because can you imagine how many ways that would

00:14:11.860 go wrong? As soon as you throw persuasion and love in the same conversation, nothing can go right from

00:14:19.680 that point on. Whatever I would be quoted as saying would look terrible out of context. Because it would

00:14:26.700 be his context, whatever his article was going to be. It wouldn't be my context. I might be able

00:14:32.060 to do it, but probably not. I mean, I don't even think I could do it if I did everything I could

00:14:37.400 to put it in the right context. It would just seem creepy. All right. So that's one of the advantages

00:14:43.200 of just being around a while. If I were 25, and I got that same request, do you know what I would

00:14:49.020 have said? Ah, free attention. I'm all over it.

00:14:52.920 So, and by the way, OK, doomer, with a D as in dog, as a response to OK, boomer, works really well.

00:15:06.760 Because it does seem that the younger people feel like everything is doomed. Do you know why young

00:15:14.720 people think everything is doomed? Climate science is going to kill us. President Trump's going to blow

00:15:19.700 up the world. Do you know why? Because young people still believe that the news is legitimate.

00:15:27.980 Imagine, a lot of you are, let's say probably half of you are over 40, I'm guessing, roughly. I saw my

00:15:36.360 statistics recently. That's about right. So about half of you are over 40.

00:15:39.940 Have you seen the doom and then, oh, just kidding, process just repeat itself? We're all doomed.

00:15:51.540 Oh, no, I guess it's OK. Oh, no, we're going to die. I guess not. Oh, we're all, we're running out of

00:15:57.580 oil. Not so much. Yeah, it's going to be a nuclear war. Well, it didn't happen. If you see it enough,

00:16:04.920 you become skeptical of everything else. So the doomers, which is a perfect name for them,

00:16:10.960 because they've been sold this story of doom, are walking around in this weird doom bubble that I do

00:16:17.820 not envy. Now, when I was a child, I grew up in the era in which we thought Russia was going to nuke

00:16:29.200 us at any moment. We actually had a nuclear bomb shelter in my house. Now, it wasn't very effective

00:16:36.160 because it was just a basement. But my father wasn't exactly a radiation expert, let's say.

00:16:43.960 So he built a little bomb shelter in the basement. And I actually didn't think I would grow up to

00:16:49.940 adulthood. I actually believed the odds were very good that I would be killed in a nuclear war.

00:16:56.940 And that was my childhood. A childhood where you actually expected that there was a high likelihood

00:17:02.980 you'd die in a nuclear fireball. All right, let's talk about impeachment. Because I know you want

00:17:16.160 to do that. So I've been calling this an emotional impeachment. And I don't think I've ever branded

00:17:25.460 anything better. Because once you consider that even the Democrats think there's no real chance

00:17:32.140 that the president will be removed from his office, then what was the point? Isn't the point of

00:17:38.400 impeachment you're trying to remove him? But if you know that's not going to work, why are you doing

00:17:43.660 it? Well, of course, there's the political part. And Pelosi said it directly. She said that the

00:17:51.080 president would always have this stain of impeachment would be dogging him forever. She used her own 0.98

00:17:57.420 words. But she basically put it in terms of, ha ha, I gotcha. That's it. Ha ha, I stained you.

00:18:07.680 That's why they did it. Because it feels just personal and emotional and completely irrational.

00:18:14.640 Now, I get that they think it's going to work maybe for elections. But that would be dumb. Because

00:18:21.180 I think they should have been able to predict that it would help his fundraising, it would galvanize

00:18:26.280 his base. Exactly what happened. It's the same thing that happened to Bernie Sanders. His fundraising

00:18:32.020 went through the roof when Sanders, when Warren attacked him. So was Pelosi not wise enough to know

00:18:39.600 that this would work in the president's favor, when there's a pretty good track record to suggest,

00:18:45.400 especially with Bill Clinton, to suggest it probably would. So if it wasn't to remove him from office,

00:18:53.000 and it wasn't even to hurt him in the election, really, unless you make the case that it's all about

00:18:59.800 getting Democratic senators elected the next time they have a chance to do that,

00:19:05.580 it just looks like it was emotional. It looked like it was an emotional impeachment.

00:19:13.800 So I've joked that so far the impeachment trial looks like a combination of three movies.

00:19:19.280 Did you see the little impeachment parade? Okay, I watched the impeachment parade live because I

00:19:25.440 thought it would be hilarious. It was a little funnier than I had hoped. Because they were all trying to

00:19:31.920 take serious and somber after they'd all been yucking it up with Nancy handing out the 20 ceremonial pens.

00:19:40.980 They're trying not to look like they're happy about the day. So they're doing the somber march.

00:19:47.740 We are sombering. It is a solemn day. Let us solemnly march with our little black suits.

00:19:55.160 And Nancy's pink, but we're wearing our little black suits.

00:19:58.340 And it looked like there were three movies that had been put together as a trilogy.

00:20:04.080 The first movie, if you've ever seen March of the Penguins,

00:20:07.000 it looked like a bunch of penguins.

00:20:10.960 You know, you had Nadler there, the monarch penguin.

00:20:14.760 But they all sort of had these black suits, and they all were like,

00:20:18.160 walking down, not talking.

00:20:20.580 So you've got March of the Penguins.

00:20:22.780 Then, of course, the trial is just going to be Dumb and Dumber.

00:20:26.560 I don't know how it could go any other way.

00:20:29.100 It's going to be Dumb and Dumber.

00:20:31.880 You know, you don't have to wait for the details.

00:20:34.280 That's what it's going to be.

00:20:35.640 And in the end, we know how it ends.

00:20:38.220 Titanic.

00:20:39.400 It's a three-movie trilogy.

00:20:41.120 March of the Penguins, Dumb and Dumber, and Titanic.

00:20:43.500 That's the whole impeachment trial.

00:20:45.460 Boom.

00:20:45.700 Do you want to know how the impeachment should go?

00:20:54.140 Well, let me tell you.

00:20:57.240 I tweeted this out.

00:21:00.760 And, you know, people keep accusing me, of course,

00:21:06.380 of always supporting the president and his team and everything.

00:21:09.640 But I've said over and over that I think the Republicans have totally botched

00:21:14.040 their defense of the president in terms of this whole Ukraine thing

00:21:19.600 and the quid pro quo and all that.

00:21:21.760 Here's why it's botched.

00:21:23.860 And the Senate has a chance to make good of this.

00:21:27.580 So here's what I tweeted in terms of how the Senate should handle the impeachment trial.

00:21:36.300 Two steps.

00:21:37.300 Step number one, ask both the Democrats, their top lawyer, which lawyer was it?

00:21:46.040 Feldman.

00:21:47.380 One of the Democrats' lawyers admitted in the last round of impeachment hearings,

00:21:54.080 he admitted that there was a legitimate reason to look into Burisma and the Bidens.

00:21:59.200 So question number one, you ask a Democrat lawyer and then you ask a Republican lawyer.

00:22:06.040 It doesn't matter who.

00:22:07.140 Turley could be, you know, Dershowitz.

00:22:11.400 And you say, based on what we know, was there a legitimate U.S. national interest

00:22:18.280 in understanding what was going on with Burisma and the Bidens?

00:22:22.020 Now, the answer is going to be yes, because both the Democrats and the Republicans are going

00:22:28.620 to say, yeah, kind of had to look into that.

00:22:32.620 Step two, vote.

00:22:36.900 Just vote, because that's the only thing that matters.

00:22:41.500 The Democrats have correctly, completely bamboozled and owned the Republicans by making them talk

00:22:48.880 about the topic of whether it was for the president's own self-interest.

00:22:54.560 It's not relevant.

00:22:57.380 It's not.

00:22:58.800 And every moment that the Republicans argued that it, you know, argued the case of was it a quid pro quo,

00:23:06.920 any of those details about who said what, who wrote what, who was in the meeting,

00:23:11.620 as soon as the Republicans engage in any of that, they've lost.

00:23:16.380 Because most of the trick from the Democrats is to get them to engage in all the details.

00:23:23.020 Because the more you're thinking about the details, the more you're thinking about impeachment,

00:23:27.500 and the more it's bad for the president.

00:23:29.480 It just gets you in that, my God, there's all this stuff.

00:23:32.940 Why are we talking about it?

00:23:34.000 It must be important because we're talking about it.

00:23:36.380 Complete mistake.

00:23:38.060 Total mistake.

00:23:39.860 Even the House should have done the same thing.

00:23:42.240 We've got one question.

00:23:43.360 Was it legitimate for the United States to look into this Burisma-Biden situation?

00:23:50.460 The answer is yes.

00:23:52.320 Democrats will say yes.

00:23:54.120 Republicans will say yes.

00:23:56.380 That's the end.

00:23:58.380 It doesn't matter if it's also good for the president's re-election.

00:24:03.340 It doesn't matter.

00:24:05.000 Completely irrelevant.

00:24:06.180 The Senate should say, this is a big, complicated thing, but it comes down to one question.

00:24:12.840 Was there a U.S. legitimate interest?

00:24:15.520 Yes, say Democrats.

00:24:17.440 Yes, say Republicans.

00:24:19.720 Bipartisan.

00:24:21.340 Let's vote.

00:24:22.700 If they have witnesses,

00:24:24.120 well, the only reason to have witnesses is if they already know what Bolton and anybody else is going to say,

00:24:32.680 and that it doesn't add anything to it,

00:24:34.660 and what they'd really love is to bring Hunter Biden in.

00:24:37.860 Now, the Democrats are arguing that bringing Hunter Biden in doesn't make sense

00:24:41.580 because he's not a fact witness,

00:24:44.940 meaning he's not a direct witness to any of the conversations between Ukraine and the president

00:24:50.920 and the president and his staff.

00:24:53.080 He's outside of that circle,

00:24:54.860 so therefore he's irrelevant.

00:24:56.980 Wrong.

00:24:58.560 Completely wrong.

00:25:00.140 Why?

00:25:01.000 Because there's only one question.

00:25:03.440 The one question that matters,

00:25:05.860 did the United States have a legitimate reason to look into Burisma and the Bidens?

00:25:10.200 How do you know the answer to that question without talking to Hunter Biden and saying,

00:25:15.780 we've got a few questions for you?

00:25:17.680 You know, it might not answer all of our questions,

00:25:19.680 but we'll at least find out if there's something that was sketchy enough

00:25:25.040 that the president had a legitimate reason to look into it.

00:25:28.920 Could be there's nothing there.

00:25:30.520 I mean, nothing beyond the obvious swampiness that we see.

00:25:36.700 So that's the way it should go.

00:25:38.120 Anyway, there's this other sub-story about Giuliani telling Lev Parnas,

00:25:45.600 who was, I guess, some loose associate who was helping over in Ukraine,

00:25:51.640 and apparently there's a distinction that the Democrats are trying to make

00:25:58.260 between Giuliani working for the government,

00:26:01.520 you know, doing what's good for the United States,

00:26:04.040 versus what's doing, what's good only for Trump's re-election.

00:26:08.360 In other words, only something that's personally good for him.

00:26:11.520 And Giuliani apparently was telling people, including Lev Parnas,

00:26:16.440 that he wanted to be very clear that he represents the president, not the government.

00:26:23.000 So he's the president's personal attorney, not the government.

00:26:27.620 How should you interpret that?

00:26:29.960 Well, one way to interpret is, oh, that's proof.

00:26:33.120 It's proof it wasn't for the country.

00:26:35.660 It's proof it was just for Trump's own good re-election.

00:26:39.400 No.

00:26:40.560 That's only one way to interpret it.

00:26:42.880 Here's the other way to interpret it.

00:26:45.480 Giuliani did not have official government, let's say, portfolio.

00:26:50.420 He was not appointed.

00:26:52.940 He was not elected.

00:26:54.380 He had not registered as some kind of a lobbyist, I'm sure.

00:26:58.660 From a legal perspective, if you're a lawyer,

00:27:02.140 wouldn't you like to make it clear to everybody

00:27:04.320 that you're not officially working for the U.S. government?

00:27:09.180 Probably.

00:27:10.120 It probably has some specific legal importance

00:27:12.980 that he needed to say,

00:27:14.900 no, I'm not an official emissary from the government,

00:27:17.460 because I would imagine that would put him

00:27:20.100 under some different legal constraints.

00:27:23.800 But here's the thing.

00:27:25.260 If Giuliani says, I represent Trump,

00:27:28.580 can you separate that from Trump's job?

00:27:33.980 The answer is you can't.

00:27:36.280 I've had lawyers, lots of lawyers.

00:27:39.060 In fact, I fired one of my lawyers last week.

00:27:41.120 I got lots of lawyers for different phases of my business.

00:27:44.520 There's the contract lawyers,

00:27:45.960 there's other kinds of lawyers.

00:27:50.920 And here's the thing.

00:27:54.520 Do my lawyers, no matter what field they're working in,

00:27:58.880 do my lawyers make a distinction

00:28:00.620 between me personally

00:28:02.560 and me, the creator of Dilber,

00:28:05.360 who has a job and a public figure?

00:28:07.260 The answer is no.

00:28:08.800 No, they don't.

00:28:09.740 Because if they did,

00:28:10.660 I'd fire him.

00:28:13.940 Because I am a complete person

00:28:15.980 who is me personally

00:28:18.140 and me, my profession.

00:28:19.560 You can't separate that.

00:28:21.760 So what does it mean to say

00:28:22.940 that Giuliani is the president's personal lawyer?

00:28:27.220 It doesn't mean

00:28:28.320 he's not concerned with the job

00:28:30.860 of being president.

00:28:32.320 Of course he is.

00:28:34.140 Because otherwise you couldn't serve the client,

00:28:36.540 which is the person.

00:28:38.380 So,

00:28:38.840 I don't know that that means anything,

00:28:42.380 that Giuliani said he's personally representing the president,

00:28:45.300 because you can't really separate out the profession from that.

00:28:47.700 It's not a thing.

00:28:48.300 Now,

00:28:52.140 here's the funniest part.

00:28:54.460 So yesterday,

00:28:55.260 I heard this story

00:28:57.000 that I didn't even understand

00:28:58.720 and it didn't make any sense.

00:29:01.380 I'm noticing my numbers are way down today.

00:29:03.560 It must be because the impeachment's on.

00:29:05.280 Are people watching the impeachment live right now?

00:29:09.600 So this guy,

00:29:10.540 Lev Parnes,

00:29:13.860 well,

00:29:14.880 we got from the documents that were produced

00:29:17.180 that this guy Robert Hyde,

00:29:19.700 who is a prominent Trump donor,

00:29:21.620 so some rich Trump donor,

00:29:24.820 was making in some messages

00:29:27.720 that Lev Parnes

00:29:28.600 was suggesting that he had

00:29:30.460 the Ukraine ambassador,

00:29:32.960 Yovanovitch,

00:29:34.160 under some kind of surveillance.

00:29:36.920 And I saw those messages

00:29:38.200 and I thought,

00:29:39.860 what?

00:29:41.900 Because when I read it,

00:29:43.460 did I have something on my lip?

00:29:45.840 When I read it,

00:29:47.180 I did not get that out of it.

00:29:51.920 So a lot of people

00:29:52.780 were reading those messages

00:29:53.860 and they seemed to be getting

00:29:55.160 some kind of a point out of it

00:29:57.860 that I wasn't getting when I read it.

00:30:00.120 And it took me a day

00:30:01.020 to figure out what they were seeing.

00:30:03.400 And what they were seeing

00:30:04.480 is that it seemed to indicate

00:30:06.180 that this rich Trump donor,

00:30:09.240 Robert Hyde,

00:30:10.040 somehow was involved

00:30:12.160 in direct

00:30:13.820 monitoring or investigating

00:30:18.520 or like stalking

00:30:20.020 this ambassador in Ukraine.

00:30:23.760 When I read it,

00:30:25.060 I just thought,

00:30:25.840 well, that just sounds like crazy talk.

00:30:28.300 So my impression was,

00:30:30.100 it looks like crazy talk.

00:30:31.560 I didn't think anything of it.

00:30:32.780 And I didn't even know

00:30:33.860 what other people were seeing.

00:30:36.000 So he was asked by,

00:30:38.100 and this is just,

00:30:38.800 this is just so funny.

00:30:41.420 This was my favorite part of the day.

00:30:43.260 So he gets interviewed

00:30:44.020 by Rachel Maddow.

00:30:45.640 And he says,

00:30:49.700 no, that text message you saw

00:30:51.240 was just this Robert,

00:30:52.880 this Hyde guy.

00:30:54.280 He was just drunk.

00:30:56.620 Now Maddow,

00:30:58.420 cleverly,

00:30:59.220 because she's very smart,

00:31:00.780 whether you like Rachel Maddow or not,

00:31:03.560 we'd all agree she's super smart.

00:31:05.880 So she sees the flaw in this

00:31:07.560 and she says

00:31:08.620 that Hyde's texts,

00:31:11.140 which were sort of

00:31:12.140 on the same similar topic,

00:31:13.680 went on for several days.

00:31:16.700 So the explanation

00:31:18.000 that he was drunk

00:31:19.100 doesn't really fit the evidence.

00:31:22.500 And here's just the best thing.

00:31:26.260 Parnasse quickly noted,

00:31:30.520 he's drunk the whole time,

00:31:32.080 Parnasse responded.

00:31:33.460 He wakes up and he's drunk.

00:31:35.360 He starts at six.

00:31:37.060 I'd never seen him not drunk.

00:31:38.780 That's the star witness.

00:31:45.560 The best evidence they've ever had

00:31:47.680 against this president

00:31:48.720 is somebody who starts drinking

00:31:50.760 at six in the morning.

00:31:52.840 Oh, can it be better than that?

00:31:55.440 It can't be better than that.

00:31:58.060 I mean, it really can't be better than that.

00:31:59.840 So not only is Rachel Maddow

00:32:03.380 interviewing the person,

00:32:06.860 this Lev Parnasse,

00:32:08.060 who, based on just the little bit

00:32:10.520 I've heard,

00:32:11.940 I thought was the least credible person

00:32:15.280 on the planet Earth.

00:32:16.780 And I thought to myself,

00:32:18.020 you know,

00:32:19.340 your whole case is built around

00:32:20.840 this Lev Parnasse guy.

00:32:22.380 And from what I can tell,

00:32:23.960 I mean, I don't know him personally,

00:32:26.220 but it feels like he might be

00:32:27.680 the least credible person

00:32:29.200 I've ever heard in my life.

00:32:32.040 But he's not.

00:32:33.820 The least credible person

00:32:35.520 you've ever heard of in your life

00:32:37.500 is the guy who was texting him

00:32:39.060 drunk at six in the morning.

00:32:42.720 That guy was a little less credible.

00:32:46.100 So if you look back at the messages

00:32:47.920 and you say to yourself,

00:32:49.200 okay, now let's put the drunk filter on it.

00:32:52.000 Do those look like drunk messages?

00:32:54.900 Yeah.

00:32:56.180 Yeah, they do.

00:32:57.680 They look pretty drunk to me.

00:33:00.740 So there's that.

00:33:04.120 Devin Nunes getting a little heat

00:33:06.380 because I guess he had said

00:33:08.100 that he didn't know

00:33:09.140 who Lev Parnasse was.

00:33:11.660 But we have now learned

00:33:14.140 that there was, I think,

00:33:15.640 one phone call

00:33:16.520 that Nunes took,

00:33:19.540 which he says he did not remember.

00:33:21.960 Now, if you're Democrats,

00:33:23.340 how do you react to that?

00:33:25.380 Liar! 0.96

00:33:26.820 Liar! 0.96

00:33:28.060 He's a liar!

00:33:29.560 Because he said he didn't know

00:33:30.660 who this Lev Parnasse guy was,

00:33:35.100 but now we have proof

00:33:36.060 that he had a phone call with him.

00:33:38.520 Liar! 0.96

00:33:39.880 Well, that's what inexperienced people say.

00:33:42.760 Here's what experienced people say.

00:33:47.280 They say exactly what

00:33:49.000 Devin Nunes said.

00:33:53.480 He said,

00:33:54.140 I'm in Congress.

00:33:56.820 I'm paraphrasing.

00:33:58.500 Do you know how many people

00:33:59.520 we meet and talk to

00:34:00.960 in an average day?

00:34:02.000 A lot!

00:34:05.060 How many of them

00:34:06.380 would he remember their names

00:34:08.840 and have some lasting memory of?

00:34:13.600 10%?

00:34:14.700 20%?

00:34:15.780 Of all the people he meets,

00:34:17.380 how many does he actually

00:34:18.260 remember their names

00:34:19.160 a year later?

00:34:20.980 No more than 10%.

00:34:22.600 So, if you're an inexperienced person

00:34:25.740 or, let's say,

00:34:27.260 an artist,

00:34:28.940 you might say to yourself,

00:34:30.580 well, if he talked to the guy,

00:34:32.440 he obviously knows him.

00:34:34.420 If you've done anything

00:34:35.760 in your life

00:34:36.460 that involves

00:34:37.240 meeting lots of people,

00:34:39.860 and this is my life as well,

00:34:41.840 do you know how many people

00:34:42.800 I meet?

00:34:44.060 Do you know how many people

00:34:45.100 send me a message

00:34:46.080 and I communicate with them?

00:34:48.380 Today,

00:34:49.060 before I got on here,

00:34:50.420 I communicated with

00:34:51.640 maybe

00:34:53.160 12 people

00:34:56.300 whose names

00:34:57.220 I'd never seen before

00:34:58.220 that I actually

00:34:59.060 directly had a

00:35:00.140 communication with.

00:35:01.440 Now, most of them

00:35:02.140 were on LinkedIn.

00:35:03.800 People were messaging me

00:35:04.860 and I was just saying,

00:35:05.680 hey,

00:35:06.220 responding to

00:35:07.120 queries and questions

00:35:08.580 and stuff.

00:35:09.740 So, now there are

00:35:10.600 12 people

00:35:11.300 just this morning,

00:35:12.920 just today,

00:35:14.320 in my life,

00:35:15.020 I'm just a cartoonist,

00:35:16.440 but in my life,

00:35:18.040 12 new people

00:35:19.180 entered my life,

00:35:20.760 every one of them

00:35:21.660 will remember

00:35:22.440 that they communicated

00:35:23.920 with me,

00:35:24.820 because I'm the Dilbert guy.

00:35:26.420 How many of them

00:35:27.420 will I remember

00:35:28.760 their name

00:35:29.580 if I saw it again

00:35:30.520 and they say,

00:35:31.040 hey, do you remember

00:35:31.600 we talked?

00:35:33.400 None.

00:35:34.960 Probably none.

00:35:36.080 I might remember

00:35:37.160 the topic,

00:35:38.280 but I'm not going to remember

00:35:39.380 even one of their names.

00:35:41.160 So,

00:35:41.900 what are the odds

00:35:43.180 that Devin Nunes

00:35:44.200 is telling the truth

00:35:45.560 that it was just

00:35:47.380 one of many phone calls

00:35:48.600 and he doesn't remember it?

00:35:49.620 I'd say

00:35:50.080 close to 100%.

00:35:52.060 Right?

00:35:53.520 You can't read minds,

00:35:54.780 you never know,

00:35:55.560 you could be wrong,

00:35:56.760 but that's completely

00:35:58.720 credible.

00:36:00.500 Completely credible.

00:36:01.460 so the people

00:36:02.880 who say

00:36:03.280 that he should have

00:36:03.840 remembered

00:36:04.220 are just inexperienced.

00:36:05.700 They're not

00:36:06.400 just wrong,

00:36:08.660 they're probably

00:36:09.320 just inexperienced.

00:36:10.280 All right,

00:36:13.780 so,

00:36:14.840 let's see

00:36:16.060 what else we got here.

00:36:18.080 Hilariously,

00:36:19.660 on Jeopardy,

00:36:20.740 I think it was

00:36:21.580 yesterday,

00:36:23.120 one of the questions

00:36:24.200 was about Adam Schiff.

00:36:26.440 So Adam Schiff

00:36:27.320 was the answer

00:36:28.220 to a Jeopardy question

00:36:29.440 and none of the contestants

00:36:31.280 knew who he was.

00:36:34.980 So,

00:36:35.980 if you ever wondered,

00:36:38.100 hey,

00:36:38.400 is the rest of the country

00:36:39.760 paying attention

00:36:40.580 like we are?

00:36:42.120 Because most of you

00:36:42.900 are probably

00:36:43.440 political junkies

00:36:44.540 if you're watching

00:36:45.540 this periscope.

00:36:47.100 And it's easy to forget

00:36:48.520 the rest of the country

00:36:49.360 isn't paying attention

00:36:50.260 to any of this.

00:36:52.100 None of it.

00:36:53.260 Three very smart people

00:36:55.040 on Jeopardy

00:36:55.620 didn't even know

00:36:56.180 who this guy was

00:36:57.060 when they saw

00:36:57.720 a picture of him.

00:36:59.480 Now,

00:37:00.200 it's extra funny to me

00:37:01.980 because I've been

00:37:03.860 a Jeopardy answer

00:37:05.020 maybe three or four times.

00:37:07.340 and they always

00:37:08.980 get it right.

00:37:11.060 So,

00:37:11.740 when the Jeopardy

00:37:13.080 question slash

00:37:14.460 answer is about

00:37:15.360 me personally,

00:37:16.980 I think at least

00:37:17.780 one of the contestants

00:37:18.640 has gotten it right

00:37:19.520 every time.

00:37:20.860 Sometimes it's about

00:37:21.800 the Dilbert comic,

00:37:22.740 sometimes it's about me.

00:37:25.000 So,

00:37:25.640 I think I'm

00:37:26.180 three to one

00:37:26.920 advantage

00:37:27.760 over Adam Schiff

00:37:29.100 on the

00:37:29.620 all-important

00:37:30.780 Jeopardy

00:37:31.820 scale.

00:37:34.000 so there was

00:37:35.740 gigantic news

00:37:37.200 yesterday,

00:37:38.320 I mean,

00:37:38.600 really big news

00:37:39.640 about Trump

00:37:41.900 signing phase one

00:37:43.180 of the China

00:37:44.080 trade deal.

00:37:45.020 I mean,

00:37:45.340 that's big,

00:37:46.380 big news.

00:37:47.640 So,

00:37:47.980 I went to read

00:37:48.600 about it

00:37:49.100 on the CNN

00:37:51.200 website,

00:37:51.980 but

00:37:54.400 it didn't have

00:37:56.960 anything.

00:37:58.400 It's the biggest

00:37:59.300 news.

00:38:00.200 And I looked at

00:38:00.660 the CNN

00:38:01.120 website,

00:38:02.260 and I'm like,

00:38:02.580 all right,

00:38:03.240 let's see what

00:38:03.780 CNN says about

00:38:04.760 the China

00:38:05.300 trade deal.

00:38:07.220 Crickets.

00:38:07.700 there was one

00:38:09.360 tiny little

00:38:09.940 article over

00:38:11.240 on the

00:38:11.740 non-emphasized

00:38:13.060 part of the

00:38:13.500 page about

00:38:14.880 something bizarre

00:38:15.900 that happened

00:38:16.560 during the

00:38:17.280 signing.

00:38:18.140 There was

00:38:18.300 something weird

00:38:18.840 that happened.

00:38:19.480 I think it was

00:38:19.920 just because

00:38:20.520 Trump talked

00:38:22.460 about impeachment

00:38:23.440 or something,

00:38:23.960 whatever it was.

00:38:25.520 That's it?

00:38:27.860 That's like

00:38:28.520 one of the

00:38:28.900 biggest stories

00:38:29.580 of all time.

00:38:31.600 And it didn't

00:38:32.060 even make the

00:38:32.560 front page of

00:38:33.200 CNN.

00:38:33.500 Gordon

00:38:38.140 Chang,

00:38:39.100 who I

00:38:39.620 quote lots

00:38:40.780 of times,

00:38:41.480 so he's an

00:38:41.900 expert on

00:38:42.520 all things

00:38:43.240 in terms of

00:38:45.760 China and

00:38:46.440 North Korea

00:38:46.920 and other

00:38:47.920 stuff.

00:38:49.580 And basically,

00:38:52.000 oh,

00:38:52.300 this was

00:38:52.780 CNN's

00:38:53.340 headline,

00:38:53.960 the little

00:38:54.820 squib they

00:38:55.480 had,

00:38:56.060 Trump's

00:38:56.540 China trade

00:38:57.640 deal signing

00:38:58.440 takes a

00:38:59.060 surreal turn.

00:39:00.940 That's it.

00:39:01.640 There was

00:39:01.900 something surreal

00:39:02.600 about the

00:39:03.120 signing itself.

00:39:04.980 All right,

00:39:05.180 so Gordon

00:39:05.500 Chang basically 1.00

00:39:06.500 said the

00:39:07.080 deal is

00:39:08.340 inadequate.

00:39:09.480 It's a fake

00:39:10.160 deal because

00:39:10.860 China is not 0.99

00:39:11.800 going to do

00:39:12.400 anything they

00:39:12.920 say.

00:39:13.960 And that the

00:39:14.500 part about

00:39:15.040 protecting

00:39:15.560 intellectual

00:39:16.200 property is

00:39:17.740 totally fake

00:39:18.940 because they

00:39:20.120 still have the

00:39:21.000 ability to

00:39:21.840 monitor and

00:39:22.960 steal anything

00:39:23.620 in the

00:39:23.920 country.

00:39:24.340 So anything

00:39:24.900 that has an

00:39:25.600 electronic

00:39:26.160 communication to

00:39:28.580 it, they're

00:39:28.960 going to pick

00:39:29.340 up in the

00:39:29.740 country.

00:39:30.720 So it's easy

00:39:31.240 for China to

00:39:31.920 say, oh,

00:39:32.320 yeah, we

00:39:32.760 won't force

00:39:33.440 you to turn

00:39:34.600 over your

00:39:35.000 technology to

00:39:35.840 us.

00:39:36.300 They don't

00:39:36.580 need to.

00:39:37.160 They'll just

00:39:37.520 steal it.

00:39:38.380 So they can

00:39:39.060 actually agree

00:39:39.620 to it because

00:39:40.080 they're not

00:39:40.360 giving anything

00:39:40.880 up.

00:39:41.180 Well, we'll

00:39:41.680 just steal

00:39:42.480 it anyway.

00:39:44.260 So Gordon

00:39:44.820 Chang says 0.86

00:39:45.420 it's a fake

00:39:45.920 deal, basically.

00:39:47.300 I shouldn't

00:39:48.580 put words in

00:39:49.140 his mouth, but

00:39:49.840 certainly that

00:39:51.120 it's a deal

00:39:51.580 with some

00:39:52.020 substantial holes

00:39:53.080 in it.

00:39:54.020 Do I think

00:39:54.560 that's true?

00:39:56.220 Yes.

00:39:56.660 Yes, I do.

00:39:58.760 Do you

00:39:59.880 know what's

00:40:00.140 missing and

00:40:00.820 they haven't

00:40:01.160 talked about?

00:40:02.500 Fentanyl.

00:40:04.540 Fentanyl is

00:40:05.240 missing.

00:40:05.940 So I'm not a

00:40:06.780 fan of the

00:40:07.440 China deal

00:40:08.000 because if

00:40:09.720 fentanyl is

00:40:10.440 not the first

00:40:11.140 thing that you

00:40:11.860 deal, you're

00:40:13.160 not dealing

00:40:13.660 with a country

00:40:14.220 you should be

00:40:14.920 doing any

00:40:15.480 business with

00:40:16.060 at all.

00:40:17.220 So we just

00:40:18.860 made a business

00:40:20.160 deal with a

00:40:20.820 country that's

00:40:22.080 knowingly killing

00:40:23.140 tens of thousands

00:40:24.000 of Americans

00:40:24.680 every year.

00:40:26.420 I would call

00:40:27.180 that a

00:40:27.960 gigantic

00:40:29.300 failure.

00:40:31.360 So I'll put

00:40:32.040 that in my

00:40:33.340 portfolio of

00:40:35.500 criticisms of

00:40:37.080 Trump.

00:40:38.040 So when

00:40:38.320 everybody says,

00:40:38.960 hey, you

00:40:39.300 keep agreeing

00:40:39.800 with him all

00:40:40.240 the time, put

00:40:41.160 that in there

00:40:41.660 too.

00:40:42.440 Phase one

00:40:43.100 trade deal I

00:40:43.800 would call a

00:40:44.380 gigantic failure

00:40:45.420 because they

00:40:48.300 shouldn't even

00:40:48.960 be able to

00:40:49.820 negotiate until

00:40:50.880 they shut down

00:40:51.660 the fentanyl

00:40:52.260 dealers.

00:40:52.620 That should

00:40:53.960 be a ticket

00:40:55.620 to the

00:40:56.360 negotiations.

00:40:58.060 If that's

00:40:58.640 in phase

00:40:59.140 two, really

00:41:00.960 phase two,

00:41:02.340 you're going

00:41:02.760 to wait for

00:41:03.180 that or it's

00:41:04.240 not even part

00:41:04.860 of the deal?

00:41:07.900 Somebody said

00:41:08.800 Trump did.

00:41:10.260 Trump talked

00:41:10.940 about it.

00:41:13.120 He mentioned

00:41:14.040 arrests.

00:41:15.460 Well, until

00:41:16.040 the major,

00:41:17.680 I'll wait to

00:41:18.500 see an article

00:41:19.020 on that.

00:41:20.440 So I'm being

00:41:21.000 corrected in the

00:41:21.940 comments.

00:41:22.620 that he did

00:41:23.620 mention it,

00:41:25.120 but I don't

00:41:25.860 see it in the

00:41:26.420 news anywhere,

00:41:27.140 so I'll have

00:41:27.980 to dig a little

00:41:28.580 deeper.

00:41:29.040 It's not in the

00:41:29.440 headlines.

00:41:30.980 He mentioned

00:41:31.480 it at the

00:41:31.860 ceremony,

00:41:33.380 but it doesn't

00:41:34.680 mean that they've

00:41:35.320 actually done

00:41:35.960 it.

00:41:36.680 So here's the

00:41:37.220 thing, and I'll

00:41:38.040 say this a

00:41:38.600 million times

00:41:39.320 until this

00:41:40.000 message is all

00:41:41.020 you can think

00:41:41.540 about on

00:41:42.020 fentanyl.

00:41:42.800 There's one

00:41:43.580 guy in China

00:41:45.540 who's the

00:41:46.500 guy.

00:41:47.400 He's the

00:41:48.020 main fentanyl

00:41:49.040 dealer.

00:41:49.420 There's probably

00:41:49.740 lesser ones,

00:41:50.580 but there's

00:41:51.400 one who

00:41:51.940 our government,

00:41:54.560 we have his

00:41:55.400 picture, we

00:41:56.000 have his

00:41:56.320 name, and

00:41:57.260 60 minutes

00:41:58.020 actually found

00:41:58.900 him and

00:41:59.260 talked to

00:41:59.640 him.

00:42:00.040 He's not

00:42:00.400 even hard to

00:42:00.960 find.

00:42:01.780 He's a public

00:42:02.540 figure.

00:42:03.580 We know his

00:42:04.160 name, we

00:42:05.560 know his

00:42:05.880 picture, and

00:42:06.880 we told China,

00:42:08.200 this is the

00:42:08.960 guy.

00:42:09.580 If you don't

00:42:10.300 hear that guy's

00:42:11.340 in jail or

00:42:12.280 executed, they're

00:42:13.520 not trying.

00:42:14.900 So anything

00:42:15.340 else they do

00:42:15.960 was just

00:42:16.260 BS.

00:42:18.360 All right.

00:42:21.700 So call

00:42:22.760 me a

00:42:23.320 giant skeptic

00:42:24.440 on the

00:42:24.980 China deal.

00:42:27.760 I say

00:42:28.540 decouple.

00:42:30.380 Let's

00:42:30.860 decouple.

00:42:32.340 All right.

00:42:33.940 Let's see

00:42:34.480 what else we

00:42:34.920 got going

00:42:35.300 on here.

00:42:41.020 Yeah, so

00:42:41.740 somebody's

00:42:42.160 saying in

00:42:42.500 the comments,

00:42:43.560 the number

00:42:43.960 one guy

00:42:44.460 needs to

00:42:44.880 be dealt

00:42:45.880 with.

00:42:47.320 I had one

00:42:48.260 critic today

00:42:49.160 on Twitter,

00:42:50.440 which is

00:42:50.940 strange.

00:42:51.620 Usually there

00:42:52.160 are more.

00:42:53.420 And he

00:42:54.200 tweeted back

00:42:54.860 to me that

00:42:56.980 I'm a

00:42:57.400 dishonest

00:42:58.040 clown.

00:42:59.260 I'm a

00:42:59.860 dishonest

00:43:00.380 clown.

00:43:02.140 So I

00:43:02.900 tweeted back

00:43:03.500 to him,

00:43:04.360 how long

00:43:05.100 have you

00:43:05.380 been involved

00:43:05.980 in the

00:43:06.380 arts?

00:43:07.820 If you're

00:43:08.520 new to

00:43:08.780 this, you

00:43:09.280 know that

00:43:09.620 I mock

00:43:10.520 people for

00:43:11.880 being artists

00:43:12.840 because artists

00:43:14.260 do not

00:43:14.880 have a

00:43:15.180 good view

00:43:15.600 of the

00:43:15.860 world.

00:43:17.260 Had he

00:43:17.880 been an

00:43:18.620 economist,

00:43:19.520 probably would

00:43:20.680 have given

00:43:20.980 me some

00:43:21.360 reasons for

00:43:21.940 disagreeing.

00:43:23.180 So I

00:43:23.480 said to

00:43:23.800 him,

00:43:24.900 Michael

00:43:25.700 Grant,

00:43:26.340 who called

00:43:26.940 me a

00:43:27.220 dishonest

00:43:27.680 clown,

00:43:28.100 I said,

00:43:28.680 how long

00:43:29.340 have you

00:43:29.580 been involved

00:43:30.140 in the

00:43:30.460 arts?

00:43:31.860 And he

00:43:32.180 responded

00:43:32.620 back,

00:43:33.780 he's written

00:43:34.260 150 books

00:43:35.600 over 40

00:43:36.340 years.

00:43:37.800 And so I

00:43:38.580 said,

00:43:39.220 good for

00:43:39.740 you.

00:43:40.620 Very

00:43:40.920 productive.

00:43:42.600 I no

00:43:43.380 longer want

00:43:44.160 to get

00:43:44.480 into debates

00:43:45.160 with artists.

00:43:48.200 I'm just

00:43:48.880 going to

00:43:49.280 note their

00:43:49.780 artists and

00:43:50.420 then move

00:43:50.800 on.

00:43:51.600 If you

00:43:52.080 haven't tried

00:43:52.740 this, you

00:43:53.240 really need

00:43:53.780 to.

00:43:55.220 Because

00:43:55.700 somebody says

00:43:56.900 you're an

00:43:57.260 artist.

00:43:57.700 Let me

00:43:57.900 give some

00:43:58.220 context.

00:44:00.620 Thank you

00:44:01.220 for asking.

00:44:03.420 First of

00:44:04.060 all, I'm

00:44:04.460 not much

00:44:04.820 of an

00:44:05.060 artist, but

00:44:05.640 it is true

00:44:06.120 that I

00:44:06.480 write and

00:44:07.100 I draw

00:44:07.520 for a

00:44:08.000 living.

00:44:08.160 In my

00:44:09.560 book,

00:44:09.880 Loser

00:44:10.140 Think,

00:44:10.760 which I'm

00:44:11.260 sure all

00:44:11.820 of you

00:44:12.100 have ordered

00:44:12.680 by now,

00:44:13.420 if you

00:44:13.700 haven't already

00:44:14.240 read it,

00:44:15.140 I talk about

00:44:15.800 how having

00:44:17.020 exposure to

00:44:17.760 multiple fields

00:44:18.540 gives you

00:44:18.980 more windows

00:44:19.620 into every

00:44:20.340 topic.

00:44:21.340 So I'm

00:44:21.840 an artist,

00:44:22.360 but I'm

00:44:22.560 also, I've

00:44:24.020 got a degree

00:44:24.460 in economics,

00:44:25.460 I've got an

00:44:25.980 MBA in

00:44:26.520 business, and

00:44:27.720 I've worked

00:44:28.240 in corporate

00:44:28.920 areas and

00:44:29.740 everything from

00:44:30.340 marketing to

00:44:31.120 strategy to

00:44:32.040 you name it.

00:44:33.700 So in my

00:44:34.460 particular case,

00:44:35.880 art is my

00:44:36.660 job, but

00:44:37.380 my

00:44:37.740 actual

00:44:38.500 experience is

00:44:39.740 much broader

00:44:40.720 than that.

00:44:43.640 Yes, that is

00:44:44.400 what I wrote

00:44:44.840 in my book.

00:44:47.560 It's called

00:44:48.280 Loser Think.

00:44:50.300 I'll put it

00:44:50.760 back here so

00:44:51.280 you can't help

00:44:52.380 but look at

00:44:52.800 it.

00:44:54.260 All right,

00:44:55.480 what else

00:44:57.440 we got here?

00:44:58.220 We got,

00:45:01.520 so,

00:45:01.820 do you know

00:45:03.180 the musical,

00:45:05.360 what do you

00:45:06.260 call him,

00:45:06.520 musical artist

00:45:07.260 Akon,

00:45:08.100 A-K-O-N, 1.00

00:45:09.840 those of you

00:45:10.400 who are not

00:45:10.860 up on your

00:45:11.480 music?

00:45:12.680 He's one of the

00:45:13.300 most successful

00:45:14.000 artists in the

00:45:15.640 world, and I

00:45:18.200 think he came

00:45:18.740 from Senegal,

00:45:19.780 or that's where

00:45:21.380 his family roots

00:45:22.120 are, I can't

00:45:22.720 remember, in

00:45:23.360 Africa, but he's

00:45:24.700 building his own

00:45:25.380 city there.

00:45:26.940 So Akon 0.70

00:45:27.620 decided to

00:45:28.320 build his own

00:45:28.960 city in Senegal,

00:45:30.500 and they're

00:45:31.240 going to have

00:45:31.540 their own

00:45:31.940 cryptocurrency,

00:45:33.980 and I love

00:45:35.740 this.

00:45:37.500 I absolutely

00:45:38.720 love this.

00:45:39.940 Now, I'm not

00:45:41.020 going to say

00:45:41.360 that Akon is 0.77

00:45:42.260 going to build

00:45:42.820 the best city.

00:45:44.500 What I love

00:45:45.200 is that he's

00:45:45.600 trying, and he

00:45:47.360 even says the

00:45:47.980 same thing,

00:45:48.420 what's the point

00:45:48.900 of having a

00:45:49.420 billion dollars

00:45:50.040 if you're not

00:45:50.640 going to go

00:45:50.960 fix stuff?

00:45:52.900 I'm a big

00:45:53.660 fan, right?

00:45:55.240 I mean, I

00:45:56.140 was a fan of

00:45:56.720 his music, but

00:45:58.360 when you see

00:45:59.080 an artist of

00:46:00.120 this stature

00:46:00.740 say, what's

00:46:02.180 the point of

00:46:02.600 having a

00:46:02.980 billion dollars

00:46:03.600 if you're not

00:46:04.200 trying to fix

00:46:05.360 the world, and

00:46:06.360 then he goes

00:46:06.820 out and he

00:46:07.160 tries to build

00:46:07.740 a city in

00:46:08.480 Senegal, I

00:46:09.700 don't even

00:46:10.120 care if it

00:46:10.640 works.

00:46:12.040 I love what

00:46:13.460 this guy's

00:46:14.000 doing for the

00:46:15.480 world, for the

00:46:16.320 way we think,

00:46:17.800 you know, the

00:46:18.060 way we, I

00:46:20.020 just love that

00:46:20.540 he's A-B

00:46:20.980 testing.

00:46:21.840 I'm sure he

00:46:22.460 wants this to

00:46:23.040 be the thing

00:46:23.520 that works, but

00:46:24.860 whether it

00:46:25.280 works or

00:46:25.640 not, we're

00:46:26.000 going to

00:46:26.160 learn something,

00:46:27.120 and maybe

00:46:27.460 the city

00:46:28.180 after that

00:46:28.860 or the city

00:46:29.380 after that

00:46:29.880 is a good

00:46:30.480 one, but

00:46:31.500 good going,

00:46:32.640 Akon.

00:46:33.280 I like to

00:46:33.860 think that

00:46:34.420 in some

00:46:35.500 ways I

00:46:36.600 would be

00:46:36.880 surprised if

00:46:38.940 Kanye is

00:46:39.940 not somehow

00:46:40.760 an influence

00:46:41.520 on this,

00:46:42.420 directly or

00:46:43.140 indirectly,

00:46:43.680 because, you

00:46:43.920 know, Kanye

00:46:44.340 is trying also

00:46:45.940 separately to

00:46:46.720 design and

00:46:47.380 build lower

00:46:48.880 cost structures

00:46:51.220 for people

00:46:51.840 to live

00:46:52.140 in, which

00:46:54.240 is good

00:46:54.560 stuff.

00:46:56.040 All right.

00:47:00.120 I told

00:47:01.180 you one of

00:47:02.620 the tricks

00:47:03.060 that CNN

00:47:03.740 uses with

00:47:04.540 its opinion

00:47:05.040 pieces is

00:47:06.320 that they

00:47:06.800 will make a

00:47:08.620 claim about

00:47:09.340 usually Trump,

00:47:10.320 how bad he

00:47:10.840 is, and

00:47:11.760 then you'll

00:47:12.660 have to read

00:47:13.240 way, way,

00:47:13.860 way down the

00:47:14.340 article to

00:47:15.540 see why they

00:47:16.200 say it.

00:47:17.660 So why are

00:47:18.840 you saying

00:47:19.120 that?

00:47:19.340 And there's

00:47:20.120 just this

00:47:20.520 best example,

00:47:22.600 one of their

00:47:23.420 usual pundits

00:47:25.260 who just

00:47:25.640 writes an

00:47:26.040 anti-Trump

00:47:26.580 piece every

00:47:27.060 day for

00:47:27.400 their website.

00:47:30.940 This is how

00:47:32.080 he starts

00:47:32.620 it.

00:47:33.300 Sorry, this

00:47:33.800 is on

00:47:34.080 CNN.com.

00:47:35.420 President

00:47:35.740 Trump is

00:47:36.760 not waiting

00:47:37.300 to be

00:47:37.660 acquitted

00:47:38.160 of impeachable

00:47:39.500 crimes.

00:47:40.920 So first

00:47:41.440 of all, he

00:47:41.920 says that

00:47:43.480 the crimes

00:47:44.000 are impeachable.

00:47:45.760 That's not

00:47:46.500 true.

00:47:47.400 So the

00:47:47.720 very first

00:47:48.380 sentence,

00:47:49.340 tries to

00:47:50.140 get you

00:47:50.500 to

00:47:50.740 uncritically

00:47:51.500 accept

00:47:52.040 that these

00:47:53.420 are

00:47:53.580 impeachable

00:47:54.060 crimes.

00:47:56.160 Well, he

00:47:57.120 was impeached,

00:47:57.920 but they're

00:47:58.440 not really

00:47:59.000 impeachable

00:47:59.500 crimes,

00:48:00.180 because we're

00:48:00.600 going to

00:48:00.780 find out

00:48:01.260 that the

00:48:01.780 Senate is

00:48:02.280 going to

00:48:02.480 throw it

00:48:02.800 out.

00:48:03.760 So I

00:48:04.900 suppose maybe

00:48:05.580 technically it's

00:48:06.640 true, but

00:48:07.540 they're not

00:48:07.900 crimes.

00:48:09.280 There's no

00:48:09.980 crimes involved,

00:48:10.960 or even

00:48:11.340 alleged.

00:48:12.780 So a

00:48:13.880 CNN,

00:48:14.760 a news

00:48:15.320 site,

00:48:16.280 very first

00:48:16.960 sentence,

00:48:17.380 accuses

00:48:18.920 Donald

00:48:19.220 Trump of

00:48:19.720 having

00:48:20.020 impeachable

00:48:20.680 crimes,

00:48:21.800 and yet

00:48:22.340 their own

00:48:23.180 reporting

00:48:23.700 has never

00:48:24.860 suggested a

00:48:25.620 crime,

00:48:26.420 at least in

00:48:27.520 terms of

00:48:27.900 what's

00:48:28.180 impeachable

00:48:28.820 and what's

00:48:29.340 on the

00:48:30.120 impeachable

00:48:31.320 list.

00:48:33.260 And then

00:48:33.920 it goes on,

00:48:34.460 to show

00:48:34.760 that no one

00:48:35.340 can stop

00:48:35.920 him doing

00:48:36.920 what he

00:48:37.260 wants to

00:48:37.700 do.

00:48:39.260 What?

00:48:40.280 That's what

00:48:40.960 Trump is

00:48:41.340 doing?

00:48:41.680 He's trying

00:48:42.060 to show

00:48:42.780 the world

00:48:44.320 that no

00:48:45.060 one can

00:48:45.460 stop him?

00:48:47.340 Is that

00:48:48.920 mind reading?

00:48:50.120 Where do

00:48:50.500 you get

00:48:50.720 that?

00:48:51.540 What factual

00:48:52.320 basis do

00:48:52.980 you have

00:48:53.380 that Trump

00:48:54.780 is,

00:48:55.400 quote,

00:48:56.200 trying to

00:48:56.800 show that

00:48:57.380 no one

00:48:57.680 can stop

00:48:58.180 him doing

00:48:58.540 what he

00:48:58.880 wants to

00:48:59.320 do?

00:49:00.200 That's not

00:49:00.680 an evidence.

00:49:01.760 There's no

00:49:02.260 evidence of

00:49:02.800 that at

00:49:03.820 all.

00:49:04.500 And he

00:49:04.920 doesn't even

00:49:05.320 offer an

00:49:05.720 argument.

00:49:06.200 He just

00:49:06.520 says it

00:49:07.080 like it's

00:49:07.400 a fact.

00:49:11.000 Then he

00:49:11.600 says no

00:49:13.400 constitution,

00:49:14.360 democratic

00:49:14.800 house,

00:49:15.760 code of

00:49:16.220 accepted

00:49:16.680 presidential

00:49:17.320 behavior,

00:49:17.980 foreign

00:49:18.140 Islamic

00:49:18.600 is going

00:49:22.700 to rein

00:49:23.180 him in.

00:49:23.780 So basically

00:49:24.240 he's saying

00:49:24.620 nothing's

00:49:25.440 going to

00:49:25.640 rein him

00:49:25.960 in.

00:49:26.200 So the

00:49:26.700 tenor of

00:49:27.300 this is

00:49:27.720 that he's

00:49:28.060 going to

00:49:28.260 become a

00:49:28.680 dictator

00:49:29.080 because he's

00:49:31.200 going to

00:49:31.400 get away

00:49:31.740 with this

00:49:32.240 impeachable

00:49:33.120 stuff that

00:49:34.220 doesn't

00:49:34.540 exist.

00:49:35.960 And then

00:49:36.340 way down

00:49:36.820 the article

00:49:37.360 I'm waiting

00:49:38.340 for the

00:49:38.780 actual reasons

00:49:39.500 because so

00:49:39.940 far it's

00:49:40.400 just a

00:49:40.700 bunch of

00:49:41.060 insults,

00:49:41.600 and

00:49:41.780 accusations

00:49:42.360 that don't

00:49:43.340 match the

00:49:43.820 facts.

00:49:44.800 But way

00:49:45.320 down I'm

00:49:46.760 waiting for

00:49:47.360 well there

00:49:48.240 must be

00:49:48.560 some reasons.

00:49:50.740 So let's

00:49:51.180 get to the

00:49:51.600 reasons.

00:49:52.640 So after

00:49:53.000 an entire

00:49:53.500 page of

00:49:54.120 insults and

00:49:56.000 libelous

00:49:57.780 claims such

00:49:59.620 as crimes

00:50:00.380 here's his

00:50:03.040 reason.

00:50:03.500 A week

00:50:03.800 after a

00:50:04.300 showdown

00:50:04.700 with Iran

00:50:05.280 nearly erupted

00:50:06.000 into a new

00:50:06.600 war the

00:50:08.060 administration

00:50:08.600 is still

00:50:09.260 defying

00:50:09.820 congressional

00:50:10.420 demands for

00:50:11.180 more information

00:50:11.960 about the

00:50:12.500 rationale for

00:50:14.020 killing

00:50:14.540 Tehran's

00:50:16.500 top general.

00:50:18.400 Now this

00:50:20.020 entire story

00:50:21.120 is based on

00:50:22.660 CNN and

00:50:23.380 other people

00:50:24.020 misquoting the

00:50:26.360 president.

00:50:28.180 So when you

00:50:29.300 finally get to

00:50:29.920 a reason it's

00:50:31.040 not even a

00:50:31.600 real one.

00:50:32.120 It's based on

00:50:32.760 a misquote

00:50:33.300 because what

00:50:33.800 the president

00:50:34.280 said was

00:50:35.400 that he

00:50:35.780 believes four

00:50:37.860 embassies would

00:50:39.120 have been

00:50:39.360 targeted.

00:50:41.280 They changed

00:50:41.880 that into

00:50:42.460 he claimed

00:50:45.060 he saw

00:50:45.580 intel that

00:50:48.080 four specific

00:50:48.980 embassies were

00:50:49.720 being targeted.

00:50:50.840 He never

00:50:51.120 said that.

00:50:52.200 He stated

00:50:52.760 his belief

00:50:53.440 that four

00:50:54.500 embassies would

00:50:55.160 be targeted.

00:50:56.840 He's right,

00:50:57.540 he's wrong,

00:50:58.120 it doesn't

00:50:58.400 matter, it

00:50:58.860 was a

00:50:59.120 belief.

00:51:00.980 CNN turned

00:51:01.760 it into a

00:51:02.300 statement of

00:51:02.780 fact,

00:51:03.160 fact-checked

00:51:04.000 it, turned

00:51:04.560 it into a

00:51:05.760 statement that

00:51:06.400 he was lying,

00:51:07.200 and then

00:51:07.840 turned it

00:51:08.240 into more

00:51:09.940 of an

00:51:10.200 argument that

00:51:11.560 nothing will

00:51:12.120 stop him and

00:51:12.820 he's going to

00:51:13.200 only do

00:51:13.700 undemocratic

00:51:14.540 things before

00:51:15.840 he becomes a

00:51:16.580 second-term

00:51:17.080 dictator.

00:51:18.780 This is so

00:51:19.880 far from

00:51:22.540 reasonable

00:51:24.960 discourse.

00:51:27.520 Rolling

00:51:28.120 Stone had

00:51:31.040 an article

00:51:31.440 by Matt

00:51:31.980 Taibbi,

00:51:33.280 who, what

00:51:33.740 did he

00:51:34.040 call, I

00:51:35.840 want to say

00:51:36.140 exactly what

00:51:36.820 he called

00:51:37.420 CNN, I

00:51:42.560 forgot to

00:51:42.960 write down

00:51:43.260 his quote,

00:51:43.960 but the, so

00:51:45.800 Matt Taibbi

00:51:46.400 just went

00:51:47.000 after CNN,

00:51:47.780 especially for

00:51:48.440 that part

00:51:48.920 where Abby

00:51:50.220 Phillip treated

00:51:52.280 the difference,

00:51:53.440 the disagreement

00:51:54.760 between Warren

00:51:55.760 and Bernie as

00:51:58.480 being Warren,

00:52:00.100 Warren is

00:52:00.760 true, because

00:52:02.400 it must be

00:52:03.660 true what

00:52:04.200 Warren is

00:52:04.700 saying,

00:52:04.980 because CNN

00:52:06.860 has reported

00:52:07.680 it as

00:52:08.140 fact.

00:52:09.500 Now, as

00:52:10.160 smart people

00:52:10.780 have pointed

00:52:11.280 out, a

00:52:12.060 number of

00:52:12.460 them, you've

00:52:13.160 seen a bunch

00:52:13.580 of people say

00:52:14.080 this, the

00:52:15.100 reason that

00:52:15.760 CNN reported

00:52:16.700 it as a

00:52:17.280 fact, well,

00:52:19.100 it had to

00:52:19.540 be one of

00:52:21.200 two people

00:52:21.720 told them,

00:52:22.240 because there

00:52:22.540 were only two

00:52:23.060 people in the

00:52:23.640 room, Bernie

00:52:24.900 or Elizabeth

00:52:26.220 Warren, and

00:52:29.080 then she

00:52:29.380 said, and

00:52:30.400 then, and

00:52:32.060 then I

00:52:32.400 think it was

00:52:32.720 Abby Phillips

00:52:33.200 said that

00:52:33.820 Elizabeth Warren

00:52:34.860 confirmed what

00:52:36.800 CNN reported.

00:52:38.940 No, obviously

00:52:41.640 Elizabeth Warren

00:52:42.740 or her people

00:52:43.740 are the people

00:52:44.800 who told CNN

00:52:45.660 in the first

00:52:46.320 place.

00:52:47.580 If Warren

00:52:48.860 confirmed it,

00:52:50.260 there's no

00:52:51.000 confirmation, it's

00:52:51.940 still the same

00:52:52.540 source.

00:52:52.980 it's one

00:52:53.980 source said

00:52:55.760 something that

00:52:56.380 the other

00:52:56.720 source says

00:52:57.860 didn't happen.

00:52:58.520 That's it.

00:53:00.060 So for CNN

00:53:01.220 to treat it

00:53:01.860 like it's a

00:53:02.620 fact because

00:53:03.980 they got it

00:53:04.780 from Warren

00:53:05.340 and then

00:53:06.300 Warren said

00:53:06.780 it was true 0.69

00:53:07.360 so it was

00:53:07.900 confirmed,

00:53:08.920 they turned

00:53:09.380 one fact

00:53:10.020 into two

00:53:10.540 facts right

00:53:12.380 in front of

00:53:12.800 you.

00:53:13.920 They're not

00:53:14.620 even trying

00:53:15.060 to hide it.

00:53:17.420 So as

00:53:18.660 Tucker Carlson

00:53:19.640 pointed out

00:53:20.360 and Matt

00:53:21.100 Taibbi

00:53:21.480 pointed out

00:53:22.040 in Rolling

00:53:22.440 Stones,

00:53:22.980 Stone,

00:53:25.740 CNN has

00:53:26.720 just stopped

00:53:27.600 any pretense

00:53:30.000 of not being

00:53:30.900 a political

00:53:31.540 player.

00:53:33.320 Any thought

00:53:33.980 of being a

00:53:34.740 news organization

00:53:35.580 is sort

00:53:36.340 of out

00:53:36.820 the door.

00:53:38.660 And it's

00:53:40.540 amazing to

00:53:41.160 watch because

00:53:41.800 as I said

00:53:42.300 before,

00:53:43.440 the doomers

00:53:44.160 still think

00:53:45.180 it's news.

00:53:46.420 The doomers

00:53:47.400 watch MSNBC

00:53:48.560 and they

00:53:49.120 watch CNN

00:53:50.240 and they

00:53:50.760 actually think

00:53:51.460 they're watching

00:53:51.920 the news.

00:53:52.980 They're not.

00:53:54.240 It's not

00:53:54.820 the news

00:53:55.180 anymore.

00:53:56.200 That's

00:53:56.560 what it

00:53:57.700 used to

00:53:58.020 be.

00:54:01.640 I would

00:54:02.280 like to

00:54:02.660 close by

00:54:03.720 saying,

00:54:04.700 have you

00:54:05.120 ever tried

00:54:05.520 to mail

00:54:05.980 a letter

00:54:06.460 recently?

00:54:07.120 so yesterday

00:54:10.380 I had these

00:54:11.900 W-2s 0.72

00:54:12.740 that come to

00:54:13.200 me.

00:54:13.480 They come

00:54:13.780 in these

00:54:14.080 envelopes

00:54:14.800 this size

00:54:15.240 and I

00:54:16.600 needed to

00:54:17.040 mail them

00:54:17.460 out to

00:54:17.960 my couple

00:54:19.700 assistants.

00:54:21.160 And I

00:54:23.060 thought to

00:54:23.380 myself,

00:54:24.200 how do you

00:54:25.140 mail things?

00:54:26.420 It's been so

00:54:27.120 long since I

00:54:27.980 put a stamp

00:54:29.160 on an envelope

00:54:30.420 and mailed it

00:54:31.340 that I was

00:54:32.300 having a little

00:54:32.780 trouble remembering

00:54:33.620 how to do it.

00:54:34.360 So the

00:54:35.200 first thing I

00:54:35.760 needed to do

00:54:36.380 is get these

00:54:37.160 things called

00:54:37.820 stamps.

00:54:39.520 And I

00:54:40.360 thought I had

00:54:41.040 some in a

00:54:41.760 drawer.

00:54:42.820 You know,

00:54:43.020 there's a little

00:54:43.540 junk drawer in

00:54:44.660 my kitchen.

00:54:46.940 And I was

00:54:47.380 sure I saw some

00:54:48.200 stamps in there

00:54:48.900 some time ago.

00:54:50.400 So I looked

00:54:51.340 through the

00:54:51.660 drawer and I

00:54:52.500 looked again

00:54:53.060 because I knew

00:54:53.580 there were stamps

00:54:54.160 and I couldn't

00:54:54.640 find them.

00:54:55.600 So I looked

00:54:55.980 again and then

00:54:56.960 I really looked.

00:54:58.160 I took each

00:54:58.840 item out and

00:54:59.680 really looked and

00:55:01.100 the stamps were

00:55:01.740 not in the

00:55:02.160 drawer.

00:55:03.160 Now all of the

00:55:03.960 men watching this

00:55:04.840 know what

00:55:05.260 happened next.

00:55:06.620 I don't even

00:55:07.100 have to say the

00:55:07.680 next part, do I?

00:55:09.040 So finally, after

00:55:10.200 several times of

00:55:11.420 looking through this

00:55:12.040 one drawer, I

00:55:12.720 didn't look

00:55:13.020 anywhere else

00:55:13.980 because I knew

00:55:14.480 it was in the

00:55:14.980 drawer.

00:55:15.900 Looked and

00:55:16.400 looked, couldn't

00:55:16.880 find it.

00:55:17.740 I went to

00:55:18.300 Christina and

00:55:19.080 I said,

00:55:19.700 can you help

00:55:20.900 me find the

00:55:21.420 stamps?

00:55:23.040 I think they're

00:55:23.720 in this drawer

00:55:24.280 but I can't

00:55:25.620 find them.

00:55:26.860 So she said

00:55:27.640 sure, but I

00:55:29.520 think we said

00:55:30.040 it when I was

00:55:30.700 in the car and

00:55:31.700 we didn't write

00:55:32.220 it down to

00:55:32.880 remind ourselves

00:55:33.620 and forgot.

00:55:35.100 And I thought

00:55:35.660 about it again

00:55:36.300 but she was 0.91

00:55:36.840 busy.

00:55:37.400 I thought about

00:55:37.900 it again but

00:55:38.480 she was out of

00:55:38.960 the house.

00:55:39.440 I thought about

00:55:39.940 it again but

00:55:40.620 I was busy.

00:55:41.900 It took me

00:55:42.680 one week to

00:55:46.120 find a time

00:55:46.880 when Christina

00:55:48.160 and I were

00:55:48.680 both available

00:55:49.380 at the same

00:55:49.860 time and

00:55:50.600 in my

00:55:51.000 kitchen so

00:55:52.360 that she

00:55:52.640 could open

00:55:53.060 the drawer

00:55:53.540 and do

00:55:55.340 this.

00:55:56.700 Here you

00:55:57.280 go.

00:55:58.500 Here are

00:55:59.000 your stamps

00:55:59.500 that are

00:56:00.640 right here.

00:56:02.320 Here you

00:56:02.680 go.

00:56:04.180 Now you

00:56:04.760 already knew

00:56:05.180 that's what

00:56:05.580 was going to

00:56:05.940 happen, right?

00:56:06.480 It's a basic

00:56:07.340 male-female

00:56:08.020 difference.

00:56:08.900 When I look

00:56:09.400 in the drawer

00:56:09.880 I just see

00:56:10.560 noise and

00:56:12.780 it's really

00:56:13.180 hard for me

00:56:13.700 to pick out

00:56:14.160 an item.

00:56:14.520 when she

00:56:15.900 looks in

00:56:16.260 the drawer

00:56:16.600 she sees

00:56:17.080 all the

00:56:17.400 items.

00:56:18.920 I don't

00:56:19.520 know how.

00:56:20.140 It's just

00:56:20.400 some kind

00:56:20.680 of male-female

00:56:21.240 difference I

00:56:21.880 guess.

00:56:22.600 She sees

00:56:23.140 them all.

00:56:23.860 So she

00:56:24.140 says,

00:56:24.460 here's your

00:56:25.140 stamps.

00:56:26.680 I spent

00:56:27.480 probably 30

00:56:28.400 minutes total

00:56:29.160 on different

00:56:30.540 occasions looking

00:56:31.340 through that

00:56:31.760 drawer without

00:56:32.380 finding those

00:56:32.940 stamps.

00:56:33.580 So now I've

00:56:34.040 got my

00:56:34.360 stamps and I

00:56:35.460 thought to

00:56:35.720 myself,

00:56:36.520 how do you

00:56:37.140 know how

00:56:37.560 many stamps

00:56:38.520 to put on a

00:56:39.200 letter?

00:56:40.120 Because it's

00:56:40.740 not a regular

00:56:41.780 sized letter.

00:56:43.720 So I've

00:56:44.880 got to go to

00:56:45.240 the website

00:56:45.860 for the

00:56:46.500 USPS.com

00:56:48.060 and I'm

00:56:49.380 looking for

00:56:49.780 the information

00:56:50.400 on how

00:56:51.700 much postage

00:56:52.640 to put on

00:56:53.160 it.

00:56:54.620 And luckily

00:56:55.080 I've got a

00:56:55.980 postal scale

00:56:56.800 behind me.

00:56:58.020 So I take

00:56:58.460 out my

00:56:58.780 postal scale,

00:56:59.920 I go to

00:57:00.280 the website

00:57:00.660 and there's

00:57:01.500 no example

00:57:02.080 of this

00:57:02.780 envelope.

00:57:04.360 You know,

00:57:04.880 you had to

00:57:05.480 sort of guess,

00:57:06.960 well,

00:57:07.660 it might be

00:57:08.080 sort of this

00:57:08.900 thing or

00:57:09.440 that thing

00:57:10.040 but not

00:57:10.820 really a

00:57:11.260 direct answer.

00:57:12.300 So I'm

00:57:12.560 sort of

00:57:12.840 guessing.

00:57:14.340 So then I

00:57:15.020 use my

00:57:15.400 scale and

00:57:16.940 the battery's

00:57:17.520 dead.

00:57:18.260 So now I've

00:57:18.840 got to go

00:57:19.140 find a

00:57:19.540 battery to

00:57:20.900 put in my

00:57:21.360 scale so

00:57:22.920 I can weigh

00:57:23.380 my envelope,

00:57:24.860 so I can

00:57:25.260 look on the

00:57:25.680 website,

00:57:26.900 figure out

00:57:27.300 what the

00:57:27.580 postage is,

00:57:29.000 get my

00:57:29.440 stamps,

00:57:30.220 put it on

00:57:30.600 the letter.

00:57:32.560 Now,

00:57:34.420 I finally

00:57:35.180 figure out

00:57:35.760 roughly what

00:57:36.760 the postage

00:57:37.300 would be but

00:57:37.920 I figure I'll

00:57:38.460 double it

00:57:38.920 because I

00:57:39.220 don't want

00:57:39.520 to go

00:57:39.800 light.

00:57:40.640 So I

00:57:40.920 take my

00:57:41.300 stamps and

00:57:42.440 they're

00:57:42.600 these

00:57:42.860 forever

00:57:43.220 stamps and

00:57:44.740 I look at

00:57:45.200 them and

00:57:45.420 I go,

00:57:46.640 uh,

00:57:47.560 what's a

00:57:49.000 forever

00:57:49.400 stamp?

00:57:50.580 I mean,

00:57:50.860 I think I

00:57:51.700 know,

00:57:52.440 but I'm

00:57:52.920 not positive

00:57:53.960 I know.

00:57:55.360 Does a

00:57:55.760 forever

00:57:56.040 stamp work

00:57:56.860 for any

00:57:58.200 kind of

00:57:58.540 envelope?

00:57:59.600 Is it a

00:58:00.480 specific value

00:58:01.420 or does it

00:58:02.160 say that

00:58:03.420 anything that's

00:58:04.160 this kind of

00:58:04.680 envelope will

00:58:05.560 always be

00:58:06.200 this?

00:58:06.940 So I

00:58:07.300 have to

00:58:07.540 Google

00:58:07.940 what's a

00:58:09.500 forever

00:58:09.800 stamp?

00:58:11.320 But I

00:58:11.820 don't have

00:58:12.100 enough

00:58:12.340 forever

00:58:12.640 stamps.

00:58:13.140 I've got

00:58:13.400 some other

00:58:13.780 stamps with

00:58:14.320 a value

00:58:14.720 on them.

00:58:15.520 So I'm

00:58:15.780 looking at

00:58:16.160 these and

00:58:16.520 like,

00:58:17.280 uh,

00:58:18.500 uh,

00:58:19.280 I just

00:58:20.000 put too

00:58:20.660 much on

00:58:21.020 it.

00:58:21.500 So I

00:58:21.780 just over

00:58:22.360 postaged

00:58:22.900 it.

00:58:23.860 And now

00:58:24.380 I've got to

00:58:24.740 take them

00:58:25.260 somewhere.

00:58:26.380 And I'm

00:58:26.840 like,

00:58:27.120 well,

00:58:27.400 I could put

00:58:27.800 them in the

00:58:28.100 mailbox and

00:58:28.840 put the

00:58:29.140 thing up,

00:58:30.020 but sometimes

00:58:30.860 they don't

00:58:31.220 take it.

00:58:32.580 So I

00:58:33.120 ended up

00:58:33.420 driving to

00:58:33.920 the UPS

00:58:34.420 store because

00:58:35.420 I had

00:58:35.700 another package

00:58:36.540 I had to

00:58:36.860 drop off

00:58:37.240 anyway.

00:58:38.580 And I

00:58:39.960 think altogether

00:58:40.600 I spent

00:58:41.120 half a

00:58:41.660 day trying

00:58:44.240 to put

00:58:44.560 stamps on

00:58:45.100 an envelope

00:58:45.500 and mail

00:58:46.000 it.

00:58:46.520 And I

00:58:46.700 thought to

00:58:46.980 myself,

00:58:47.760 no,

00:58:48.200 I did not

00:58:48.560 lick the

00:58:48.940 stamps.

00:58:49.440 They were

00:58:49.620 self-licking

00:58:51.240 stamps.

00:58:53.660 Man,

00:58:54.700 we've got to

00:58:55.920 get rid of

00:58:56.300 the post

00:58:56.660 office.

00:58:57.760 Let me

00:58:58.040 ask you

00:58:58.360 this.

00:58:59.720 If

00:59:00.000 Amazon.com

00:59:04.700 offered to

00:59:06.340 buy the

00:59:07.160 post office

00:59:07.820 and privatize

00:59:08.780 it,

00:59:09.460 would you

00:59:09.840 be okay

00:59:10.280 with that?

00:59:11.380 I would

00:59:11.980 because that

00:59:13.340 post office

00:59:14.000 should be

00:59:14.480 taking the

00:59:15.080 mail that

00:59:15.500 I get,

00:59:16.500 scanning it,

00:59:17.360 and emailing

00:59:17.960 it to me,

00:59:18.460 period.

00:59:19.460 I should

00:59:20.040 never get

00:59:20.700 a piece of

00:59:21.380 mail.

00:59:21.740 Let me

00:59:21.960 tell you

00:59:22.200 my other

00:59:22.560 mail problem.

00:59:24.400 So several

00:59:25.040 years ago,

00:59:25.680 I created

00:59:26.360 a rule

00:59:26.940 where no

00:59:27.800 U.S.

00:59:28.380 mail can

00:59:28.880 enter my

00:59:29.400 house.

00:59:30.300 It can

00:59:30.700 only enter

00:59:31.100 the garage

00:59:31.800 because the

00:59:32.660 garbage is

00:59:33.140 out there.

00:59:34.120 So I

00:59:34.620 always sort

00:59:35.160 my mail

00:59:35.680 in the

00:59:36.540 garage

00:59:37.000 because if

00:59:37.380 it gets

00:59:37.620 in the

00:59:37.840 house,

00:59:38.240 it becomes

00:59:38.600 a big

00:59:38.900 pile of

00:59:39.580 garbage

00:59:39.960 in your

00:59:40.280 house.

00:59:41.360 And

00:59:41.520 almost all

00:59:42.280 of the

00:59:42.540 U.S.

00:59:42.860 mail is

00:59:43.180 garbage.

00:59:43.840 Almost

00:59:44.080 all of

00:59:44.460 it.

00:59:45.280 So I

00:59:45.920 sort it

00:59:46.300 in my

00:59:46.600 garage so

00:59:47.600 that it

00:59:47.860 can't get

00:59:48.240 in my

00:59:48.440 house.

00:59:49.400 But my

00:59:50.100 mailman

00:59:50.700 keeps

00:59:51.340 thwarting

00:59:51.900 me because

00:59:53.220 if he has

00:59:54.540 a package,

00:59:55.140 he'll bring

00:59:55.440 it to my

00:59:55.820 door,

00:59:56.680 and then to

00:59:57.160 do me a

00:59:57.560 favor,

00:59:58.280 he brings

00:59:58.760 the mail

00:59:59.400 also to

01:00:00.280 the door.

01:00:01.380 And I'm

01:00:01.520 like,

01:00:02.020 mailman.

01:00:04.000 I love

01:00:04.460 my mailman.

01:00:05.360 He's a

01:00:05.620 great guy.

01:00:07.320 But I

01:00:07.860 don't like

01:00:08.140 mail in

01:00:08.500 my house.

01:00:09.820 Can you

01:00:10.140 bring it

01:00:10.420 to my

01:00:10.680 garage?

01:00:11.500 There should

01:00:11.900 never be

01:00:12.300 mail in

01:00:12.680 my house.

01:00:14.060 All right,

01:00:14.440 that's enough

01:00:14.840 on that.

01:00:15.160 I will

01:00:17.180 talk to you

01:00:17.640 all later.

01:00:18.900 here.

Real Coffee with Scott Adams - January 16, 2020

Episode 789 Scott Adams： #Shampeachment Theater, Liz and Bernie, Lev Parnas, China Deal

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Transcript