Real Coffee with Scott Adams - May 01, 2020


Episode 948 Scott Adams: Join Me For a Quick Laugh About the Funniest Biden Kill Shot Ever


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

149.08525

Word count

1,532

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Toxicity

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This is the funniest thing I've ever heard and it's also the most brilliant thing I ve ever done. President Donald Trump was on a podcast with Dan Bongino talking about the Joe Biden allegations against him, and he said the most ridiculous thing you ve ever heard.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
00:00:00.000 all right i'm not going to take up much of your time this will be this will be kind of short
00:00:12.280 but i was just uh i was just putting on a shirt in my closet which is not important to the story
00:00:20.340 i'm just letting people come in here so i'm going to tell the story like like people are bad at
00:00:25.780 telling stories because i'm stalling until there are more people in here well i was putting on a
00:00:31.660 shirt in my closet you know you know the people who always start with the part that doesn't matter
00:00:36.220 it was a blue shirt couldn't find my good green shirt i was putting on the shirt in the closet
00:00:41.800 all right as soon as there are 3 000 of you here live i've got to share with you just about the
00:00:50.260 funniest thing i've ever seen i've been i've been laughing so hard i've been crying in my closet
00:00:56.080 about this so apparently um well we're close enough so apparently president trump was on dan
00:01:02.960 bongino's uh podcast it must have been last night and mark knoller is dollar dollar knoller is uh
00:01:12.440 tweets this out and so this is a quote uh this is a quote from president trump
00:01:20.240 when asked about the joe biden uh allegations against him president trump said quote i would
00:01:29.040 just say to joe biden just go out and fight it
00:01:32.420 uh says president trump of sexual assault allegations against the democrat
00:01:40.000 interviewed on dan bongino's podcast president said of biden in a way you could say i'm sticking
00:01:46.600 up for him
00:01:47.280 all right if that's not the funniest thing you've ever heard in your whole life
00:01:57.540 now let me explain why this is so funny because
00:02:01.920 if if president trump had said yeah joe biden is guilty that would that would totally open up trump
00:02:13.540 for the same accusations and you know that would just be automatic right so trump didn't really have
00:02:19.780 a play to talk about it at all because the more he talked about it the more people would say well
00:02:25.700 what about you what about you you know president trump so
00:02:30.540 once again this is like the rosie
00:02:33.600 this is very much like the rosie o'donnell play
00:02:37.740 and i swear to god there should be some kind of
00:02:42.300 hall of fame for like best political
00:02:45.640 plays or something so i remember the uh the rosie o'donnell
00:02:49.940 play where you know he was asked a serious question about you know
00:02:53.880 incidents with women and he just moved it over to 0.89
00:02:57.120 something that's so ridiculous and so funny 0.98
00:03:00.340 that you can't take your eyes away from it 0.99
00:03:03.280 because it's so ridiculous he just said 0.97
00:03:05.440 now it's only rosie o'donnell it wasn't true 0.96
00:03:08.320 it was just ridiculous so you couldn't even remember what the original question was after a while 0.94
00:03:14.800 because it wasn't nearly as interesting as that ridiculous thing
00:03:17.920 he just said and and what was this what's similar about it
00:03:22.600 is that you couldn't imagine there was any way houdini could get out of that question
00:03:28.580 before he used the rosie o'donnell escape hatch
00:03:32.440 it just didn't look like it was possible
00:03:34.800 and then you see joe biden being credibly accused
00:03:41.160 and this is the funny part because it's so credible
00:03:43.420 credibly accused of sexual misconduct
00:03:46.600 and the president again he's trapped
00:03:49.060 what are you going to do you can't not talk about it
00:03:52.480 right that's another thing
00:03:55.080 and you can't you can't go hard at it
00:03:57.820 because then they just go hard at you
00:03:59.580 and you can't say
00:04:02.520 you can't say he might be
00:04:05.180 innocent
00:04:06.100 or can you
00:04:08.360 or can you
00:04:10.700 there's nobody else in the world
00:04:12.820 who would have found that path
00:04:14.980 and it's so
00:04:16.460 so perfect
00:04:17.960 all right
00:04:19.020 now i realize i'm in i'm totally into fanboy
00:04:22.120 territory here
00:04:23.760 but i like to i like to keep the fan stuff
00:04:26.600 to the communications part of what he does
00:04:29.300 you can you can make your own decisions about policies
00:04:32.340 you know half the time i don't even have an opinion on a lot of the policies
00:04:36.200 because what do i know
00:04:37.460 about trade deals and whatnot
00:04:39.580 but when you see communication that is
00:04:42.820 or or strategy plus communication
00:04:45.440 in this case and also humor
00:04:47.120 that is this is this well executed
00:04:49.700 this is like once in a lifetime stuff
00:04:52.320 you're seeing you're seeing the best
00:04:54.340 maybe the best you'll ever see
00:04:56.740 all right so let me let me just finish why this is so brilliant
00:04:59.540 so by taking the unexpected path
00:05:03.520 trump does what he always does
00:05:06.060 you can't look away
00:05:07.800 because he refuses to do
00:05:10.560 what you expect him to do
00:05:12.080 and what normal people would do
00:05:13.640 so he decides to defend
00:05:15.600 to defend biden
00:05:17.400 how in the world could this
00:05:20.120 so he can honestly say
00:05:23.960 i'm defending biden
00:05:25.600 what a great guy i am
00:05:26.760 and and he can
00:05:29.160 he has a perfectly philosophically pure argument
00:05:32.420 that it's up to biden to defend himself
00:05:35.280 it's not up to president trump
00:05:37.760 we do acknowledge that there are lots of
00:05:40.280 false rumors in this world
00:05:42.320 russiagate
00:05:44.480 you know just to name a few
00:05:45.880 and so
00:05:48.140 the president is embracing biden
00:05:50.880 in the in the way that biden would least want to ever be embraced
00:05:55.140 which is ironic in and of itself
00:05:57.820 so the president 0.94
00:05:59.020 is using as a kill shot 0.59
00:06:01.500 just just think about the beauty of this 0.99
00:06:03.940 the president is using as a kill shot 0.98
00:06:07.560 that his opponent is just like him
00:06:10.920 do you do you understand
00:06:14.500 how sublime that is
00:06:16.560 because
00:06:18.360 there's only there's only one person in the race
00:06:22.060 who can survive
00:06:23.620 being just like trump
00:06:25.800 and it's not joe biden
00:06:27.740 so the so the more the more trump says
00:06:31.400 yeah we're like brothers
00:06:33.060 we're practically the same guy
00:06:35.660 i lie he lies
00:06:37.900 i've got some allegations
00:06:39.480 he's got some allegations
00:06:40.880 you know when you come to think about it
00:06:42.960 i've got his back
00:06:44.940 we're practically bros
00:06:46.680 now
00:06:49.060 you could
00:06:50.760 this this is like somebody getting out of the escape room
00:06:54.440 when there's actually no escape
00:06:56.000 you know when there actually isn't any way to get out of the escape room
00:06:59.200 and somehow he's out
00:07:00.160 like how the hell did he find this path
00:07:02.720 you
00:07:03.500 in a million years
00:07:05.280 if you said
00:07:07.260 if you
00:07:07.820 if you uh
00:07:08.920 you hired the best consultants in the world
00:07:11.440 think about this
00:07:13.820 the way you know that this came from him
00:07:17.680 and did not come from an advisor or a paid consultant
00:07:21.600 is that no paid consultant could come up with this plan
00:07:25.580 because it's just too good
00:07:27.580 and only only trump could pull it off
00:07:30.540 because i think he's he's self-aware
00:07:33.980 that there can only be one trump
00:07:36.740 it's like highlander 0.95
00:07:38.060 it's like freaking highlander 0.85
00:07:44.440 yeah
00:07:45.120 there can only be one
00:07:46.520 and it's not going to be biden
00:07:49.080 and this comes
00:07:52.460 and this comes on the same day
00:07:56.600 that biden basically confessed that he was guilty of the
00:08:00.020 of the allegations
00:08:01.060 so it's even more absurd
00:08:02.960 yeah
00:08:03.900 in my opinion he confessed
00:08:05.840 because of the way he worded it
00:08:07.260 when he said
00:08:07.820 you know
00:08:08.680 why did
00:08:09.100 why is this coming up
00:08:10.880 this
00:08:11.980 what's this
00:08:13.320 if it didn't happen
00:08:14.080 why are you saying this coming up 27 years later
00:08:16.580 so anyway
00:08:18.100 that's just
00:08:19.080 that was my opinion
00:08:20.040 that he admitted it
00:08:21.640 not his opinion
00:08:22.400 but
00:08:23.380 on a day when it couldn't get any worse
00:08:25.640 for joe
00:08:26.120 and
00:08:26.440 the wheels are completely off
00:08:29.660 he has to have a caretaker
00:08:31.660 sitting next to him
00:08:32.560 to do his
00:08:33.060 his live streams
00:08:35.340 from his
00:08:35.800 his basement
00:08:37.320 where i think
00:08:38.980 i don't know if he's quarantined
00:08:40.280 or they've locked him in there
00:08:41.440 but they should have taken his phone away
00:08:44.120 because i don't think anybody knows
00:08:45.500 that he's still talking to the world
00:08:46.820 but
00:08:47.780 but on the day that
00:08:49.120 on the day that nothing could get worse
00:08:51.340 for joe biden
00:08:52.180 he's being accused of
00:08:53.880 maybe trying to hide the records
00:08:56.260 in delaware
00:08:57.020 i mean really
00:08:57.840 it couldn't be a worse day
00:08:59.920 and what does president trump do
00:09:01.920 it's like
00:09:02.640 in a way i'm kind of defending him
00:09:04.360 oh it is so over
00:09:10.980 it is so over
00:09:12.820 my god
00:09:14.400 oh
00:09:16.260 anyway
00:09:17.540 i don't have any other topic
00:09:19.860 i just had to share with you
00:09:22.600 this
00:09:22.880 this
00:09:23.400 if you're being honest
00:09:26.700 even his critics
00:09:29.100 no matter what they think of him
00:09:31.600 you know
00:09:32.540 no matter what they think of his policies
00:09:34.300 and whatever they think his mental processes are
00:09:37.440 no matter what you think of him
00:09:39.560 this was brilliant
00:09:42.100 i mean this was just brilliant
00:09:45.200 you know
00:09:46.360 and
00:09:46.760 it's one for the ages
00:09:48.700 in my opinion
00:09:49.460 and you know
00:09:50.940 if anybody's new to
00:09:52.520 watching my periscopes
00:09:53.660 i've been pretty brutal
00:09:54.840 i'm brutal about the president
00:09:56.840 on you know
00:09:57.620 some of the task force
00:09:59.120 and coronavirus stuff
00:10:00.240 so it's not like i'm just supporting him
00:10:02.280 you know wildly
00:10:03.060 no matter what
00:10:03.960 but communication wise
00:10:05.700 every now and then
00:10:07.680 he pulls something like this
00:10:09.680 out of the hat
00:10:10.280 that you just can't even imagine
00:10:12.020 anybody else would have done
00:10:13.180 anyway
00:10:13.600 that's enough of that
00:10:14.760 I'll talk to you tonight