EZRA LEVANT | Donald Trump’s 'threat' to annex Canada just won’t go away
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
126.240425
Summary
Donald Trump's idea about making Canada the 51st state is a long-running joke, but what if it's not a joke? What if Trump is actually serious about implementing Manifest Destiny 2.0? Or maybe this hostile takeover concept is just a negotiating tactic plucked right out of the art of the deal?
Transcript
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Donald Trump's idea about annexing Canada just won't go away.
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Who could have imagined that this off-the-cuff remark about making Canada the 51st state would turn into such a long-running joke?
00:00:46.900
What if Trump is actually serious about implementing Manifest Destiny 2.0?
00:00:54.260
Or maybe this hostile takeover concept is just a negotiating tactic plucked right out of the art of the deal.
00:01:03.160
Maybe this is a hollow threat that will actually generate tangible results.
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Hey, Donald Trump isn't even in the White House yet, and already some provinces are getting more serious about border security.
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Regardless, I'm going to use this space to make a plea to the president-elect, which is to say,
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Mr. Trump, if you are indeed serious about absorbing Canada into the Union, please, please reconsider.
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Look, I'm a proud Canadian and all that jazz, but as the Carnies say down on the Midway,
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Which is to say, when Canada is compared to the USA, well, we kind of suck, don't we?
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Now, without further ado, here are the reasons why, I think, from an American perspective at least,
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Canadian TV programs, especially sitcoms and game shows, are appalling.
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Mr. Trump, do you have any idea what you will inherit, CanCon-wise, should Canada become the 51st state?
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Well, here's a taste, and really, all you need to know about the cosmic awfulness of this Canuck sitcom
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How does slamming a door on someone cause a package to get crushed?
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Is the trouble with Tracy simply bad, or is it so bad that it's actually good?
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One thing that is definitely not up for debate, the trouble with Tracy, is definitely not funny.
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And that's kind of problematic, wouldn't you say, given that the trouble with Tracy is presented as comedy.
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Hey, we don't even need to hire scriptwriters for that show.
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As for game shows, the U.S. has given us Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Deal or No Deal, what have we produced?
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How about game shows that are not merely cheesy, but downright creepy?
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Case in point, Just Like Mom, hosted by Fergie Oliver, let's put it this way.
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I get the feeling that Just Like Mom was must-watch TV on Epstein Island.
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Oh, Leanne, I was almost going to call you Laurie.
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Do you talk about getting married and having a family and things like that?
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When you're 11 years old for a date, where do you go?
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You just walk home from school with each other.
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You look like a young lady who likes to give lots of hugs and kisses out, do you?
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Even if I say and whisper in your ear that, Allison, you're gonna win the show?
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Well, I guess you can't win the show then, if I don't get a hug and a kiss.
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By the way, that female co-host nervously giggling at the end of the clip.
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Adding a whole new dimension of creepiness to this former sportscaster best known for his catchphrase,
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Um, hey, Fergie, how about those Criminal Code of Canada provisions?
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Also, Mr. Trump, Canadian game shows are Bush League.
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Mr. Trump, as the former owner of the New Jersey Generals of the now-defunct United States Football League,
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Do you know that in the Canadian Football League, teams only get three downs, not four?
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And because we have this thing for rewarding failure in Canada,
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which kind of explains why we continue to fund the CBC to the tune of some $1.4 billion in taxpayer dollars every year,
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a CFL team can be awarded a single point for a missed field goal.
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I think this has something to do with make-work schemes.
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We're really good at make-work projects here in Canada.
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There's a lot of other oddball stuff you won't like in our little league of our own.
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Like, for the longest time, there were actually two teams in the CFL called the Rough Riders, I swear.
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Just imagine 23% of the teams in a nine-team league sported the same nickname.
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Oh, speaking of nicknames, one of the most iconic CFL teams of all time, the Edmonton Eskimos,
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Wokeism in Canada is alive and well, and this team is now called the Elks,
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sporting a logo that looks like it was drawn by a toddler using an Etch-a-Sketch.
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And speaking of sports, Mr. Trump, come on, let's be fair here.
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America has already assumed ownership of the best game you can name.
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The last time a Canadian NHL team won Lord Stanley's shaving mug was when Kim Campbell was the prime minister.
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Meanwhile, earlier this month, Team USA won the World Junior Hockey Championship again.
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Number three, there are so many bat-shite crazy laws in Canada.
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Do you know, Mr. Trump, it's illegal to paint a ladder in Alberta?
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In Toronto, it's illegal for homeowners to have more than two garage sales per year.
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And in Pinocchio, Alberta, it is illegal to build a mud hut with a straw roof.
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Yeah, you know, just in case Tarzan ever considers moving to Pinocchio.
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Mr. Trump, do you really want to spend your second mandate unraveling such nonsense?
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Mr. President, I have a hunch when you cast a glance over the border,
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you just can't believe how low the price at the pump is.
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I mean, the current average price for gas in America is north of three bucks, and that's in U.S. currency.
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Today in the GTA, gas is just a buck fifty five.
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Ah, but as the astute businessman you are, Mr. Trump, you know how the old saying goes.
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Always read the fine print, that's because we sell gas by the liter, not by the gallon.
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So you're actually paying more for your petrol here, way, way more.
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Oh, and by the way, it's illegal in Canada for a gas station to sell gas by the gallon.
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Back in the early 80s, Justin Trudeau's alleged father, Pierre,
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actually ordered the pumps of a Toronto gas station to be sealed due to this affront to the globalist measurement system.
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When the weather forecaster says it's 25 degrees, that means getting out the sunscreen, not donning a parka.
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Then there's this business of centimeters and kilograms and so on.
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Do you really want to burn out the battery on your calculator doing all the conversion math?
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Oh, and get this, we don't measure tire pressure in pounds per square inch here.
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You know what else you're not going to like about Canada, Mr. Trump?
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I've long railed against the practice of milk being sold in plastic bags.
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The formless, soft plastic bag stands taller than the rigid, hard plastic jug housing the plastic bag.
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You know, it's said that one should not cry over spilt milk, but believe me, inside, I'm weeping.
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What you call whole milk in the U.S., we call homo milk here.
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Number six, the sheer size of the Great White North.
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Perhaps there's no such thing as owning too much real estate.
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But, Mr. Trump, really, how can the proposed 51st state be bigger than all the existing 50 states combined?
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Well, in fact, it reminds me of this SCTV sketch.
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Yesterday, the last country we put in place was Angola.
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And look, with these other countries, not even half-filling Mother Russia because of its enormous size.
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So today, let's put the so-called giant country of Argentina into place.
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It looks like tiny sausage against the vast, colossal size of Mother Russia.
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do you know that the biggest provincial territory in your proposed 51st state
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is a massive chunk of distinct society called Quebec?
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Now, when it comes to Quebec, let me present the issue in a way that will make sense to Americans,
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which is to say my absolute favorite casino in Nevada is the Paris Las Vegas.
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Hey, at the Paris Las Vegas, we're talking Parisian architecture, Parisian food, Parisian fashion.
00:14:06.480
Translation, when you take ownership of Canada, that package includes Quebec.
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Mr. President, you want to take over a country, no muss, no fuss?
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This tropical paradise does not have an army, nor an air force, nor a navy.
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Much like Jason Voorhees, the Goldie Mask-clad knifeman of Friday the 13th fame,
00:15:04.500
just when you think you've heard the last of Cary Lemieux,
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well, he comes bouncing back into the news cycle.
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Now, Lemieux emerged as the most infamous shop teacher in the world back in September 2022
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when he showed up to class in such an outlandish get-up,
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His costume included a long blonde wig, skin-tight bicycle shorts,
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a clinging white top, and, gee, I'm forgetting something.
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Incredibly, Lemieux was also tolerated and practically celebrated as an example of diversity
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by the woke-joke educrats who comprise the Halton District School Board.
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As far as the so-called conservative education minister of the day, Stephen Lecce,
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well, the cowardly Lecce proved to be about as useful as tits on a bull, as the saying goes.
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Alas, the beginning of the end regarding Lemieux's cosplay saga
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had very much to do with Rebel News exposing his fraudulent behavior.
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You see, one of the few on-the-record interviews Lemieux ever offered
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Lemieux claimed that those Z-cup memory glands weren't props,
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but rather the result of a very rare medical condition.
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And he was completely powerless to do anything about this alleged disability.
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No, seriously, Frankenboob was playing the handicap card.
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Well, that worked just fine and dandy, at least with the dunces running the education system
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in Ontario, until we bumped into Lemieux at a Burlington shopping mall in April 2023.
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Why are you dressing inappropriately in front of children?
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Now, after this expose, Lemieux's House of Cards came tumbling down.
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Eventually, he parted ways with the Halton District School Board.
00:17:35.280
Even though the HDSB has a media relations department,
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Even though this school board is a taxpayer-funded entity
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Likewise, we've sent numerous emails to Lemieux to get his side of the story,
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and Lemieux suddenly re-emerges at a new school
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namely the Hamilton-Wentworth District School Board.
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Gone were the fake breasts and the stripper attire.
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disposing of those Zed Cups and donning male haberdashery.
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As you can see, it's the female version of Lemieux.
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And I thought that it was like a parody account,
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the more I realized that it was the real person, right?
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with Lemieux that were, like, sent to the media.
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Of course, we can't ignore those elephants in the room,
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was Lemieux wearing those enormous prosthetic breasts,
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if he was legitimately trying to become female?
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friends who are transgender over the years, right?
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what was going on with the huge prosthetic breasts
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about how trans rights have gone too far, right?
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Lemieux was claiming that the breasts were real