A 3-year-old girl with two gay dads says she wants a mommy, but her dad says she can be a mom too! Why Christians should care about this and speak up about it! This episode is brought to you by GoodRanchers.
00:34:14.540And I hope that she does have a wonderful life.
00:34:18.340And I hope that she is able to find some fulfillment and stability.
00:34:22.960But I promise you, her entire life, she's going to wonder who her mom is and why she didn't get raised by a mom and why she never got to make memories with her mother.
00:34:32.120Why when she's sick or when she has a question about growing up, why she longed to be able to talk to her mom and she didn't get that.
00:34:41.700I promise you that that is going to affect her forever.
00:34:48.820Dr. Al Mohler also commented on this and he says, Mother's Day tends to bring out the very best in our culture and simultaneously to bring out the very worst.
00:34:57.480The big lesson here is that the three and a half year old sees what the others will not see.
00:35:01.800Christians must look at this kind of argument and realize that the fact that the article appeared as the nation turned to observe Mother's Day tells us just about everything we need to know about the Washington Post and the dominant media class in Washington.
00:35:13.820But it's not enough for Christians to refuse the Kool-Aid.
00:35:16.520We must recognize that this level of confusion and contortion underlines the fact that our current cultural warfare is now at the level of an ontological crisis and an outright rebellion against the creation order.
00:35:29.480He is absolutely 100% right about this.
00:35:33.300And that's why Christians have to care about the so-called culture war.
00:35:38.160That's why we have to be willing to be, quote unquote, divisive.
00:35:42.200That is why we have to be willing to be called all kinds of names, to be accused of not having empathy, of not being loving enough, of being too judgmental.
00:35:54.140Because on the other side of those accusations are children.
00:35:59.100They're children, helpless, vulnerable children who don't have political capital.
00:36:13.020That's what Christians have always done.
00:36:14.600If you look back in ancient pagan times when Christians burst on the scene, one of the most transformative changes that Christians made was how society treated children.
00:36:29.500No longer as things to be discarded or pushed to the margins of society or ignored or neglected.
00:36:36.660But people made in the image of God who can be, by grace through faith, saved by Christ.
00:36:44.280People who deserve dignity and respect and need special care.
00:36:49.760The church has always been a refuge for the most vulnerable, namely for children.
00:36:54.720We serve a Jesus who said, let the little children come to me.
00:36:58.600We serve a Jesus who said that we should have faith like a child.
00:37:03.380That is the Christianity that we are supposed to embody.
00:37:09.300And that means speaking up for the motherless, speaking up for the fatherless.
00:37:14.800And Christians who think this is too political, it's too divisive, it's too unloving.
00:37:18.700You have just been effectively brainwashed by the culture into believing that love means the affirmation of sin.
00:37:25.860But the God who is love, 1 John 4, 8, created us male and female and gave us the family in the very first chapter of the first book of the Bible.
00:37:35.780And I don't believe you if you say that you are bold enough to share the gospel, John 14, 6, but not bold enough to stand up for Genesis 1, 27.
00:38:37.360I think more common than we know because these kinds of stories are suppressed because the spirit of the age, the secular moral and sexual revolution narrative says that there's no such thing as gender.
00:38:50.800That the family is completely arbitrary, that marriage doesn't really matter, that male-female doesn't really matter.
00:38:58.360And therefore, if kids are raised by three men or one trans, non-binary, furry, and a mom, that it's all well and good.
00:39:10.960There are a lot of examples of this on Reddit, actually, and it really is super sad.
00:39:16.520And many of you have actually messaged me stories of when you were a nanny or a babysitter for two gay men, for example, that you knew their kids.
00:39:26.640The questions that they would ask trying to call you mother more than a few of you have sent me similar stories.
00:41:22.680They had all kinds of books about different families.
00:41:24.800But as someone else has already said, she was starting to truly understand that her family is different from some of her friends and trying to sort it out.
00:41:31.300So it says her twin brother's biological mom was already semi, was around semi-regularly, but her bio mom had chosen to be uninvolved.
00:41:39.740So she was trying to sort that out, too.
00:42:08.620And when he was three, her son started asking to see his dad.
00:42:12.680Even at age four came the theories that his father used to live with us, but got bored and wandered off or that Jacob did something bad and his dad had to suddenly leave.
00:42:32.820He was donated by a sperm donor or sold by a sperm donor.
00:42:37.580And then, of course, she goes on to blame society.
00:42:41.800Cisgender heterosexual parents are the ubiquitous norm.
00:42:44.560One of the people that she consulted for this article said it comes to be seen as normal, natural and ultimately healthy.
00:42:50.640Well, it is normal and natural and healthy.
00:42:53.340And so, again, rather than this woman understanding where her conviction is coming from and understanding the mistake that she has made, what she has robbed her son, she says that she began something called Project Queer, which aimed to do whatever it took to instill queer pride in her son, Jacob.
00:43:12.840The mother describes how each time she tried to read him LGBTQ books.
00:43:18.580Tons of gay propaganda in these kids' lives.
00:43:21.200And yet these kids are still like, OK, but where's my mom or dad?
00:43:24.880Goes on to say, I didn't believe having a dad was an inborn need, but it was one that had, for whatever reason, either nature or nurture, been instilled in him.
00:43:33.440What if instead of trying to stamp out this need, I simply embraced it?
00:43:38.240And then she said she asked her dad and stepdad if they would agree to step into the father figure role.
00:43:55.840And I understand, like, if you are a gay parent, to reckon with the mistake that you've made, to try to come to terms with the fact that you have robbed an unconsenting, helpless child of the right to a mom or a dad.
00:44:15.540And that, I mean, I'm sure as a parent, you want them to be happy.
00:44:19.680You want them to be whole and realizing that you've taken that opportunity from them in a lot of ways.
00:44:26.100I understand why there's all this mental gymnastics to try to justify what you did, because that is a painful, tragic realization.
00:44:33.440And it would take so much humility and repentance to embrace that and to try to seek some kind of, like, forgiveness for that and try to make that right.
00:44:44.140Because you can't, like, you can't take it back.
00:44:47.940You don't want to say that you regret your child, because I'm sure you can't imagine your life without your child.
00:44:53.020I think that that is true of most gay parents.
00:44:55.860And so to try to come to terms with the fact of this really, like, egregious choice that you've made, this burden that you have forced them to carry, a fatherlessness or motherlessness, I imagine that that's really hard.
00:45:07.140And so you try to, you write all these op-eds and you start all these organizations and you jump through all these hoops to say it's society's fault.
00:45:26.880It's the right-wing political machine.
00:45:29.320Whatever it is that you want to blame when really it's just innate because everyone has a mom and a dad and everyone wants to know where they come from and who they are.
00:45:55.560I remember she went through something.
00:45:57.940She went through, I guess, what you would consider some kind of mental health crisis, and she was going through a custody battle with her seven-year-old daughter.
00:46:06.400And she interviewed on Red Table Talk, and she talked about the custody situation with her seven-year-old daughter, who lives in Ukraine, with her father, who is now her ex-husband.
00:47:07.360You know them before us by now because we talk a lot about Katie Faust, and we've had her on a few times, and she has been a champion of children's rights and the importance of marriage and intact families for a long time.
00:47:23.220She also has an adoptive son, so she understands so many different sides of this, and she really has been on the front lines for such a long time when it comes to this very taboo topic.
00:47:35.140And she's gathered a lot of data on this, and if you go to the Them Before Us website, you can read all of this.
00:47:43.180We don't have time to get into all of it.
00:47:44.860But, for example, a new family structures study researcher Mark Regner has concluded, on 25 out of 40 outcomes evaluated, there were statistically significant differences between children from intact biological families and those of the mothers and lesbian relationships
00:48:00.040in many areas that are unambiguously suboptimal, such as receiving welfare, need for therapy, infidelity, STIs, sexual victimization, educational attainment, safety of the family origin, depression, attachments, and dependencies, marijuana use, frequency of smoking, and criminal behavior.
00:48:18.140We know that fatherlessness can increase the risk of all of these issues.
00:48:24.780Using data from the U.S. National Health Interview Survey, Paul Sillins discovered that when compared with children in dual-gender households, children in same-sex-headed families,
00:48:34.140one, were likely to suffer emotional and behavioral difficulties at a rate of 9.3 percent, more than twice the rate for children in dual-gender families,
00:48:43.200experienced definite or severe emotional problems at a rate of 14.9 percent versus 5.5 percent,
00:48:50.000were diagnosed with ADHD at a rate of 15.5 percent versus 7.1 percent, struggled with learning disabilities at a rate of 14.1 percent versus 8 percent,
00:48:59.900received special education and mental health services at a rate of 17.8 percent versus 10.4 percent.
00:49:07.060Research from Focus on the Family says reams of social science and medical research convincingly show
00:49:12.700that children who are raised by their married biological parents enjoy better physical, cognitive, and emotional outcomes,
00:49:18.800on average, than children raised in other circumstances.
00:49:24.260The Center for Law and Social Policy says that research indicates that, on average,
00:49:28.260children who grow up in families with both their biological parents and a low-conflict marriage
00:49:32.380are better off in a number of ways than children who grow up in single-step or cohabitating parent households.
00:49:39.500Princeton University Research even says,
00:49:42.020if we were asked to design a system for making sure that children's basic needs were met,
00:49:46.340we would probably come up with something quite similar to the two-parent family.
00:49:50.800Ideal, the fact that both adults have a biological connection to the child,
00:49:55.100so that would require a mother and a father,
00:49:57.760would increase the likelihood that the parents would identify with the child
00:50:01.140and be willing to sacrifice for that child,
00:50:03.580and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child,