Ep 1054 ｜ 'It Ends with Us' Is Emotional Porn for Women
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Summary
The Atlantic did a profile on yours truly comparing me to Phyllis Schlafly, which I think is a very high honor. Also, should Christians be reading Colleen Hoover s books? Should we be seeing the movie It Ends With Us? Also, Samantha Ponder was fired from ESPN for her comments defending women's sports.
Transcript
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It Ends With Us is a very popular Colleen Hoover book turned movie that is raking in the millions.
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But should Christians be reading Colleen Hoover books?
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Also, Samantha Ponder was fired from ESPN after, over the years, she has made comments in defense of women's sports.
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And also, The Atlantic did a profile on yours truly, comparing me to Phyllis Schlafly, which I think is a very high honor.
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So we're going to talk about that and what it means, not for me, but for you, and even for our country.
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On today's episode of Relatable, it's brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.
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Go to GoodRanchers.com. Use code Allie at checkout. That's GoodRanchers.com, code Allie.
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Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far.
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As promised yesterday, we are going to talk about the Atlantic article on yours truly.
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And we are also going to, as you heard in the introduction, get to, as much as we have time anyway,
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And then I also want to talk about It Ends With Us and Colleen Hoover just a little bit,
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because I know so many people and so many women consume her content.
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And it's really important that we know the messages that are being conveyed, especially for women.
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So I woke up on Friday morning to an article about me in The Atlantic.
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Now, The Atlantic is a very left-wing publication.
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I am a very not-left-wing person, one of the most socially conservative commentators, certainly,
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And so you don't really expect a profile in The Atlantic to be glowing, to say the least.
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In fact, you expect it to be extremely negative.
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Of course, I've never had a profile of me, but I have been mentioned in various articles
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And it has rarely, if ever, been positive, because they rarely have anything positive to
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say about conservative Christians and our views on marriage, on gender, on sexuality,
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And this article, for what it's worth, was pretty positive.
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And I'll go through some lessons, I think, that are just important for us to know as
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critical thinkers as we're reading any article, whether it's coming from the right or the
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left, and kind of what she does and what she implies through some clever wording.
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But I just want to talk about the kind of general push of this article and how I actually think
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it is a big compliment, not to me individually, but to conservative Christian women that are
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I certainly have the highest concentration of these evangelical women that both sides
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are talking about and whose vote is being vied for.
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In my audience, my audience is unique in that, in that most of the political commentary space
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is dominated by males, not just male hosts, but also just a male audience.
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The YouTube audience in general is a very male-dominated audience, but not my show.
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You are a sizable portion of my audience, and I appreciate you so much.
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We are mostly Christian conservative women who care about the issues going on in our country.
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We understand why the so-called culture wars matter, and we want to know what God has to
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I don't think that I am the perfect arbiter of God's will in accordance to all of these
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But I also think that the Bible is pretty darn clear about these major issues.
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And in a world where we are fed constant confusion and constant misinformation and disinformation
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about these primarily biblical issues like marriage and sexuality and abortion, I do think
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it's important to be really strong and really clear on them.
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So that's why the show exists, to persuade people who don't agree with me and to encourage
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And I guess this journalist from The Atlantic thought that the show and its impact is significant
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So the title of this article is Conservative Women Have a New Phyllis Schlafly.
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Now, it was this conservative woman is like redefining womanhood or something like that.
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I don't remember what it said, but a lot of times they will change the title after it comes
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And I knew this article was coming because this journalist had been reaching out to me
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And at first, I just kind of rebuffed her through my publicist because, again, this is
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I know how they treat the conservative perspective.
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But I looked more into this journalist and I realized, OK, I don't think that she is she
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She definitely seems pro-choice, anti-Trump, but she doesn't seem quite as radical as some
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And she kind of made clear that she's going to write this story about me whether or not
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And so I realized I would rather her have my own words than just having other people's
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words about me or what she thinks that she's observed about me or what she deduces based
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And so she came to Young Women's Leadership Summit.
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And then I met her shortly after that in a coffee shop and we talked for over two hours.
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Not all of my quotes made it into this article, which is totally fine.
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But I do think that I I mean, I tried my best to give a proper representation, not just
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I don't think that I am your like exclusive representation in the public sphere at all.
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But I do feel a responsibility to defend our perspective and to defend the position of
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And I do think that I have a unique finger on the pulse of what this demographic is thinking.
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That doesn't mean that we agree on everything 100 percent of the time.
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But I think I understand what we care about and why pretty well.
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And so I wanted to make our case to her knowing that whatever made it onto paper could be different
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But since the article was going to be written, I went ahead and went for it.
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So there were a lot of positive aspects to this piece.
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She could have been a lot harsher than she was.
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Delivering hard truths is is Allie Beth Stuckey's job, a job she was called to do by God.
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And after a decade, she's gotten pretty good at it.
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And then she quotes me saying, do I love when people think that I'm a hateful person?
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That's not something I love, but it is a risk that I'm willing to take to stand for what
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She said we had been talking about her opposition to gay marriage, but Stuckey opposes many things
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that most younger Americans probably consider settled issues.
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I said, I've thought really hard about the things I believe in, and I would go up against
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literally anyone, which is true on the things that I believe in, not on any subject, but
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these core issues that we talk about that we've discussed are really Genesis one issues.
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Yes, I would go up against anyone on those things.
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She says, Stuckey is neither a celebrity provocateur in the style of fellow podcast host, Candace Owens,
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nor the soft-spoken trad homemaker who thrives in the Instagram ecosystem of cottage corn and
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Stuckey is a different kind of leader in the new counterculture, one who criticizes the
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prevailing societal mores in a way that she hopes modern American women will find, well,
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And then she talks about kind of the aesthetics of the show.
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I fit comfortably in the same ideological milieu as the Heritage Foundation's Presidential Blueprint
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And of course, that is like, that's a signal to her Atlantic audience for them to understand
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Of course, those of us who actually know what Project 2025 is and says the policies that it
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represents, which is pretty mainstream social conservatism as it has been represented for
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We know that that doesn't mean radicalism or fascism or any kind of dictatorial regime that
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they try to paint it to be, but she understands that most of her Atlantic audience is thinking,
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And then I've been wanting to tell you this because I thought that this was really cool
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So I'm meeting with this journalist that I know probably opposes my position on a lot of
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And she's digging for different beliefs that I have that maybe I haven't articulated in the
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She wants to write about them, which is part of her job.
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And we go to this coffee shop and I've been to this coffee shop a couple of times in my
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It's not close to where I live, but it has really good coffee and it has good treats and
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And so I suggested that we meet at this coffee shop.
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And so we go in and the cashier says, and she writes about this in the article, the cashier,
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after I made my order, he says, it's Allie, right?
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And he actually interrupted her and said, oh, no, I follow her, which was really sweet.
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She was like, oh, celebrity, like said it kind of sarcastically, which is awkward.
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And then we sat down and we started talking and literally three groups of multiple women
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in each group, young women, came up to our table during this two-hour conversation to
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talk to me and to get a picture and to tell me that they loved the podcast.
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It was really meaningful to me because I always love meeting you guys.
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But it was also cool to be able to show this person that is in a lot of ways oppositional
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that, look, these sweet, kind, wonderful young people are listening to the podcast.
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I'm not just talking to people my age and older than me.
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There are a lot of young people that are actually persuaded by conservative and Christian arguments
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But she says, when she's describing this moment, she said, maybe it was this particular
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coffee house with its white clappered Christian influencer aesthetic, or maybe Stucky was even
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But during our two-hour conversation, three separate groups of young women approached Stucky
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And I think she thought for a moment that this was like a setup, that I orchestrated this.
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Of course, it was not, it was orchestrated by God, by the Lord, I think.
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I think it was just like a really sweet, sweet moment.
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And something cool to like demonstrate to her too.
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So there are a couple things that she says, even though I think that like the overwhelming
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She compares me to Phyllis Schlafly, the guy that she talks to, I guess, for insight into
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And I'm sure he doesn't consume my content, compares me to Phyllis Schlafly.
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We'll talk a little bit about who she is in just a second.
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And if you think that that's actually an apt comparison, I think that that's like too
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But we'll get into that in just a second and why I think that she made that comparison.
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I do want to point out a couple things that she did that I thought it was an interesting
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tactic because I knew that it wasn't going to be an exclusively positive piece.
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Again, she has to signal to her liberal readers.
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One, she said that my AOC video that we did, I don't know, 2018, where I did that like fake
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interview style with her based on a PBS interview that she had done.
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I think it was PBS, a PBS interview that she had done, or maybe it was ABC in the same
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way that, you know, Stephen Colbert has done with George Bush and Jay Leno in the past.
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I did that with her and then it ended up going kind of viral.
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She said that it wasn't funny, which, yeah, Elaine, I didn't think it was going to be funny
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But she said that we were just trying to make the libs angry.
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But there are a couple just tactics that she employed that I thought were interesting.
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One, she says some recent episodes of Relatable include, it's interesting that she picked
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She just says these are like two recent episodes.
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And of course, if you go back and listen to that episode, I said, I said, yes, like here
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is the biblical context for the commands about sex and marriage.
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But of course, the implication there without saying what I actually said, without saying
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why I titled the episode that way and why that question was asked and what my answer
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was to that question, it makes it seem like I myself am questioning something like that.
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I just thought it was interesting how she chose those two titles without any context, leaving
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She says, Stucky enjoys reading the latest in fiction, but Colleen Hoover's novels are
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I can't sit there and listen to Billie Eilish without being like, I'm sad for Billie Eilish.
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And then after that, she follows it with the singer recently came out as bisexual.
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See, this is an interesting tactic because she takes a real quote that I say, and then
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she states a fact right after that in parentheses.
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But those two thoughts are not connected to each other.
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I did not say that that's why I feel bad for Billie Eilish.
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I didn't even know Billie Eilish came out as bisexual.
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I was talking about Billie Eilish saying that she had been introduced to sex and pornography
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at a very young age and that her mind has basically just been trapped by these pornographic
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She's talked a lot about a very dark upbringing, dark influences, even abuse that she has endured
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I didn't say anything about the sexuality she identifies with.
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And so it was just, you see that kind of thing a lot because the implication there and
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what her readers are going to draw out of that is that I said that I felt bad for Billie
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Now, maybe that is something that I would say, but that's not what I said in the conversation.
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But she says two things that are true and puts them together in order to get her readers
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to draw a conclusion that wasn't accurate to what I actually said.
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And then she cites some analysis from someone at Johns Hopkins trying to explain why this podcast
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And I don't know who this person is, but she was really sweet.
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I mean, she probably wasn't trying to be sweet.
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And she said, you know, there is a sincerity to relatable and there's just like a genuineness
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And then how biblical truth is kind of woven into it.
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This is why Christian women want to watch this podcast and not other podcasts, which I thought
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was very kind of Elaine to even include that analysis in there.
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But then she goes on to say, she cites someone saying that people just listen to it because
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it's mean and that we don't laugh on this podcast, which is not true.
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I think we laugh the most when we're talking about dinosaurs.
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She says we only laugh when we're making fun of someone on the left.
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First of all, first of all, we do laugh at things that people on the left say because
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they are laughable and we have to like some we just have to laugh sometimes you have to
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And but yeah, when I'm talking about abortion policy or when I'm talking about the barbarism
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of left wing immigration policy, I don't like get a chuckle out of that.
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I do think that this is kind of like a ridiculous statement to make, considering that there are
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entire brands shows publications dedicated to deriding conservatives and deriding Christians
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like we have been bearing the brunt of left wing and secular mockery for decades, like
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the most demeaning and degrading kind of dark humor and mockery.
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Like we are the we are the recipients of that and have been for a very long time.
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But if Brie and I get a chuckle out of what some loony liberal says about something about,
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I don't know, not knowing what a woman is, then apparently that's a meme.
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And she cites someone saying that that is why people are listening for that, that that
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I thought it was interesting when you look up Phyllis Schlafly on YouTube, just like type
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The first video that comes up is by Crooked Media.
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Crooked Media is a left wing media, media publication, a media outlet that really is dedicated
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It is the nastiest, meanest video that I have ever seen made of anyone.
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This lady who is a conservative activist, I mean, so mean, so biting, so rude.
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I mean, this stuff is just par for the course for how leftists especially talk about women
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I don't want to hear anything about like, oh, yeah, Ali, because sometimes she makes fun
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of the ridiculousness of left wing policy and left wing dogma.
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That's the meanness that her audience is attracted to.
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I know that she knows that those sweet young women that she met at the coffee shop, that
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the sweet young women that she met at Young Women's Leadership Summit, that they are not
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mean people, that they're not watching content because it's mean and cathartic for them.
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And I know based on the rest of the article, she knows that is not what attracts people
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to this podcast, not what keeps them coming back.
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But again, that was just an example of just like, let me just put a dig in there just a
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We have so many emotions on the range of human feeling on this show.
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She didn't even include in here all of the interviews.
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And even like, I thought it was interesting how she didn't even mention that like Trump
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I feel that the article kind of failed to actually explain even to people who see themselves as
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our political enemies, like why this podcast matters, why this demographic matters, the
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impact that by the grace of God, like this podcast has had, like there are so many different
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points and examples to use to explain like how this show has grown.
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Thanks to you guys and thanks to the grace of God.
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So many of y'all ask me, what can I do to help the pro-life cause?
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One of the best ways is to partner with pregnancy centers and pre-born is a large network of crisis
00:22:42.220
They offer all kinds of free resources to moms, to families in need.
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And one of the most amazing things that they do is offer a free ultrasound to a pregnant
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When that mom sees the baby on the screen, when she hears that heartbeat, she is so much
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more likely to choose life just by seeing the truth of what a pregnancy is and the little
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And so if you want to cover the cost of a life-saving ultrasound, go to preborn.com slash
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Allie, donate that $28 or donate whatever you can.
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If it's $5, that can go towards that ultrasound or maybe that's a box of wipes that you are
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providing for a mom who is in need, who has chosen life for her baby.
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It all works together to help save as many lives as possible.
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Here's one thing that she says that I think that we should celebrate.
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David French is not celebrating, but we should be happy about this.
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She says the number of Republicans and independents identifying as socially conservative rose during
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the pandemic years, according to a Gallup poll from 2023.
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People can only tolerate so much cultural change in a limited period of time, and we are reaching
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Jonathan Merritt said in times like that, conservatism can feel very comfortable and safe and familiar.
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It's not because it's right, but it's just because people are scared.
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In one telling indication, Republican approval of gay rights has dropped since 2022 from 56%
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And support for same-sex marriage is down from 55% to 46%.
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David French says conservatives are becoming more fundamentalist.
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I don't even, I'm just not sure how much the left even thinks about trying to understand
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conservative positions on any of these issues, whether it's abortion or whether it's marriage
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So this comparison to Phyllis Schlafly, which she says multiple times in the article, that's
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I want to explain who exactly Phyllis Schlafly is and why I think this is such an honor to
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I don't put myself, again, in the same category as her.
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She was a hugely powerful, influential force in conservatism for many decades.
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She just died a few years ago at the age of 92, and she was really influential in the
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And she advocated against the Equal Rights Amendment.
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It is stated as, it's presented as, a proposed amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would,
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if added, explicitly prohibit sex discrimination.
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However, that is not exactly what it would accomplish.
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And that was Phyllis Schlafly's mission, her main mission in the 60s and 70s, to try to
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explain to, especially housewives, how the ERA would affect them and would affect their
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While equality sounds really good, how it would manifest itself is actually stripping the
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comfort and protections and the rights of women by, for example, forcing them into the
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And basically, she stood against the forced gender neutrality movement that she saw taking
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place in the military and in the government and even in the workplace.
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She was a very strong, outspoken, powerful woman who obviously believed in women being
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in the workplace in certain contexts of their life and different seasons of their life.
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She obviously believed in women being involved in politics.
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She understood that politics mattered, but she was against the progressive revolution.
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She was against trying to do away with all acknowledgement of gender differences and gender roles.
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And she stood for social conservatism until the very end.
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And I will say, when she was really at her prime, when she was fighting the hardest and
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most prominent in the conservative scene, she was probably in her 50s, in her 50s and
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And so I really can't be compared to her at all.
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She had, when she became prominent, she had a lot more accomplishments under her belt.
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But I think the comparison that's being made is really our views.
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And it is the advocacy for social conservatism.
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And it is, I think I share with her, like a true love for women.
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Like there's a lot of people on the right who say that they're for traditionalism, who
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say that they're for conservatism, who I think really hate women.
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I think they do believe that women are less than.
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I think that they believe that women's intellectual capacity is a lot smaller than a man's.
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And that's why they need to be relegated to only certain spaces.
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I think women are extremely capable in a lot of ways.
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And therefore, we can't and shouldn't try to do everything that men can.
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And I also am against the rearrangement and the redefinition of the family and marriage.
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And of course, I'm against abortion and a lot of things that Phyllis Schlafly was.
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And she appealed mostly to women and explained in a compelling and a concise way what social
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conservatism was, how to get involved in politics in a way that persuaded them.
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And I hope to be able to do that in a way that is half as effective as her.
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And so, for example, when she was trying to rally women against this Equal Rights Amendment,
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which she just saw as something that would be devastating for women, especially this forced
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She had housewives create these things and she had them take them to state legislators
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with the slogans on them, preserve us from a congressional jam, vote against the ERA sham
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So all of these very traditional symbols she used to try to rally women, to try to explain
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to them, look, the ERA, it says that it's for you.
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And her argument was basically like, look, woman, you got a pretty good gig right now.
00:29:51.820
You get to provide for your kids and you can get an education if you want to.
00:29:57.900
You've got men protecting you, fighting for you here and abroad.
00:30:05.480
And so she was a key figure in the anti-feminist movement.
00:30:10.760
And I'm sure that's where the comparison comes from.
00:30:13.640
And again, I don't think that I am anywhere in the realm of Phyllis Schlafly, but I do
00:30:18.720
hope to take after her in a lot of ways because she was incredibly effective.
00:30:24.900
And I love that Relatable is being recognized, not just for me, but because you all have made
00:30:31.060
it what it is and our voices and our involvement in the culture and in politics, it can make
00:30:41.280
When Christians stand up for biblical values and when we ignore the stupid, stupid criticism
00:30:49.760
from the left that when Christians bring our worldview into the public sphere, it's fascism
00:30:54.500
or Christian nationalism or some kind of theocratic threat.
00:31:00.480
When we actually unapologetically bring our principles and bring our beliefs into the public
00:31:07.480
sphere and make sound arguments and try to get people, our community members, our friends,
00:31:13.980
our fellow parents, our coworkers on our side, we really can change minds and make a big difference.
00:31:20.660
Every single person, whether you're progressive, atheist, secular, Buddhist, everyone brings
00:31:27.060
their beliefs into the voting booth and into the workplace and into the public sphere.
00:31:32.480
Christian conservatives have every right to do that too.
00:31:38.920
But we will not be convinced that we are the only demographic that has to check our beliefs
00:31:43.940
and our worldview at the door before we leave our homes.
00:31:51.480
We are going to unapologetically fight for what is good and right and true.
00:31:55.360
And everyone else has the right, has the responsibility to do the same, but our arguments
00:32:02.240
So, uh, let us continue to speak the truth in love and to however you can, in big and
00:32:08.280
small ways, do the next right thing in faith with excellence and for the glory of God.
00:32:16.460
We're not guaranteed any kind of cultural shift.
00:32:18.660
We're not guaranteed, uh, earthly victory, but we can continue to be obedient and being
00:32:25.200
bold and representing what is good, right, and true.
00:32:27.640
And remember God's eternal plan of redemption is always going off without a hitch, no matter
00:32:32.760
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So Sam Ponder, she was an ESPN host, I think a very beloved ESPN host.
00:33:44.700
This is someone who I think has been very bold in standing up for what is right.
00:33:48.400
Uh, she was recently fired from ESPN just last week, as well as Robert Griffin III.
00:33:55.660
Um, Samantha Ponder has been outspoken in defending women's sports.
00:34:04.980
Uh, she says she's responding to Riley Gaines and she says the change in Title IX would take
00:34:11.540
away so many opportunities for biological women and girls in sports.
00:34:15.200
It is a shame that we are needing to fight for the integrity of Title IX in 2023 and the
00:34:20.180
reason it was needed in the first place, hashtag save women's sports.
00:34:24.300
So as someone who works for ESPN, that was a very courageous thing for her to do because
00:34:36.380
She didn't want to take the vaccine and she pushed against the vaccine, uh, mandates
00:34:43.380
Uh, she also said on May 31st, 2023, Samantha Ponder, biolatry is not bigotry.
00:34:49.320
Loving people does not require the absence of boundaries.
00:34:53.080
This is the difference between love and toxic empathy.
00:34:57.280
She says, I barely said anything publicly about this issue.
00:35:00.540
And I've had so many people message me, stop me in the street and say, thank you.
00:35:04.020
And tell me stories about girls who are afraid to speak up for fear of lost employment slash
00:35:09.580
It is not hateful to demand fairness in sports for girls, uh, Kirk, uh, Kirk Herbstreet.
00:35:23.400
He was responding to someone on X who said, do men belong in women's sports?
00:35:27.780
He responded and said, of course not ridiculous question.
00:35:33.600
And then she also responded to another commenter on X saying X, Y equals male X, X equals female.
00:35:43.020
She didn't have to, she could have remained quiet.
00:35:46.520
She knew that she could possibly be risking her job, risking her prominence, risking her
00:35:51.000
position and also just risking people liking her, which is, uh, that might sound superficial,
00:35:58.140
And she decided that standing up for women and women's sports mattered.
00:36:01.800
Sam Ponder is also an outspoken Christian, which I really appreciate, uh, about her.
00:36:07.260
Um, and yet she was fired not too long ago, presumably for these positions.
00:36:15.560
I guess I don't know everything going on there.
00:36:17.340
It's hard for me to believe that it would be for any other reason.
00:36:20.360
It seemed to me like she was very popular, that she was very good at her job.
00:36:24.900
I mean, she's obviously beautiful and knows a lot about football.
00:36:28.900
Um, and she had a lot of fans, a lot of raving fans, and yet they let her go for stating the
00:36:35.880
obvious that women XX chromosomes should have our own sports.
00:36:40.820
We should have our own spaces because of the biological differences, because men have strength,
00:36:49.980
And so we need to share the arrows with Sam Ponder.
00:36:52.620
Like she'll be totally fine onward and upward for her.
00:37:00.720
But if you want to send her a message of encouragement, if you want to just pray for her, I know for
00:37:05.460
a fact that sharing the arrows with her in that regard will edify her.
00:37:12.840
So if you want to share the arrows with her, then I would do that.
00:37:31.100
You are giving courage to other women who maybe previously have been scared, but they saw
00:37:36.260
you take this risk and they saw you stand strong.
00:37:38.640
So keep standing strong and be even more unabashed and apologetic about it now.
00:37:46.080
The Supreme Court has struck down the Biden-Harris Title IX change.
00:37:52.860
This is according to Fox and also Alliance Defending Freedom.
00:37:56.020
Love our friends at Alliance Defending Freedom.
00:37:58.520
Them, First Liberty, great organizations fighting for the constitutional rights of Americans.
00:38:04.040
So the Supreme Court voted 5-4 on Friday to reject the Biden administration emergency request
00:38:09.340
to enforce portions of a new rule that includes protections from discrimination for so-called
00:38:17.300
The request would have permitted men in women's bathrooms, locker rooms, and dorms in 10 states
00:38:23.080
where there are state-level and local-level rules in place to prevent it.
00:38:27.600
So these people who say that they are so for democracy, they are so for the people,
00:38:33.240
they were going to force through the president without any approval from the states.
00:38:40.420
They were going to force states who have local laws that are protecting women's spaces
00:38:48.540
Like, this is so important for the Harris-Biden administration.
00:38:51.560
This is so important for the Harris-Walls tickets because if you look at the history of the
00:38:58.240
Biden administration, they also, through the USDA, told schools that take SNAP money,
00:39:03.960
so free meals for poor students, if you do not allow boys into girls' restrooms, you will
00:39:12.780
So, like, they are willing to sacrifice absolutely anything on the altar of transitioning children
00:39:28.560
The fact that it was even 5-4 and Gorsuch went with the dissent on this is really troubling.
00:39:50.560
Do you really want someone like Kamala Harris to be picking their successors after someone
00:40:01.860
The Supreme Court's decision upholds two recent federal appeals court rulings that halted
00:40:05.840
the administration's unlawful rules in the states of Tennessee, Indiana, many other
00:40:10.760
In one case, Alliance Defending Freedom Attorneys represent a West Virginia High School female
00:40:16.420
athlete and Christian Educators Association International.
00:40:21.100
And in the other, they represented a Louisiana school board.
00:40:25.660
Um, no formal opinions or concurrences were written.
00:40:31.320
The language is more procedural and then interesting.
00:40:40.280
Like, this still has to be, um, the rule change is still going to be pushed by the Biden
00:40:47.240
It's still going to be pushed by the Harris administration, but for right now, these states
00:40:55.580
And that's so few states, guys, but they can keep these laws in place that actually protect,
00:41:02.060
Of course, the left is really upset about this.
00:41:05.040
Uh, the New York Times says Supreme Court for now blocks expanded protections for transgender
00:41:15.400
What is meant by this is that men get to enter women's spaces, boys get to enter girls'
00:41:20.600
spaces, and that girls don't have privacy for themselves because these gender deceived
00:41:25.520
boys get to go into their locker rooms and see them change.
00:41:29.840
And protections for transgender people means protections for the pike means death for the
00:41:41.800
So protections for these men who say that they're the opposite sex is very destructive
00:42:02.040
We have an emergency food supply from My Patriot Supply.
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You don't have to think about it, but you'll be really glad you have it if you do need
00:43:00.380
One thing I want to end on, one thing I want to make sure that we talk about, speaking of
00:43:06.100
women and the things that influence us, I just want to mention it ends with us because
00:43:12.100
this is a book that has turned into a movie that was a very popular book.
00:43:16.840
I mean, like millions of copies sold by Colleen Hoover.
00:43:27.540
And this new book, or this new movie, it ends with us, is starring Blake Lively, and
00:43:36.360
Um, it's already bringing in over $115 million in its first week, according to the Hollywood
00:43:43.280
That is because women eat up Colleen Hoover books.
00:43:45.920
And before I knew, this was a few years ago, before I knew anything about Colleen Hoover,
00:43:53.840
And I go through these seasons of really wanting to read fiction and really just kind of like
00:44:00.060
And I read it in like a day, super easy to read.
00:44:03.100
It's easy to see why women read it because it is so easy to consume.
00:44:21.000
Can we just realize that just because something is fiction, just because you are reading something
00:44:28.980
Like, if you are struggling as a woman in your thought life with escapism, with fantasy,
00:44:33.780
with lust, you do not need to be reading these books.
00:44:36.460
And even if you're not struggling with those things, even if you're not, don't allow yourself
00:44:43.320
Like, as someone who read the book, I really just kind of wanted to see what people were
00:44:47.740
talking about and realizing, like, I got to skip through these scenes.
00:44:50.960
I'm just going to finish a book because I always try to finish the book.
00:44:53.880
I'm like, oh my gosh, if this is what women are consuming, I understand why women have
00:44:59.240
Not just about, like, sex and promiscuity, but also about this, like, girl boss god of
00:45:10.300
This self-empowerment, this, like, self-savior complex that it seems like a lot of women have.
00:45:16.740
And also just the unhealthy expectations and relationships.
00:45:20.200
This book is about, and this movie is about escaping an abuser and how she is ending this
00:45:27.380
like generational trauma of accepting abuse, Blake Lively's character.
00:45:32.760
And she's getting out of an abusive relationship and she ends up with the guy that has always
00:45:37.940
kind of been steady and there for her and a really good guy and strong in the right way.
00:45:42.480
And in general, I think that that is a good message.
00:45:45.520
Of course, I want women to escape their abuser.
00:45:48.060
Of course, I want women to be with a guy who is strong in the right way, in the protective
00:45:57.660
Of course, I want women to get out of abusive relationships, avoid abusive relationships
00:46:03.520
And so maybe a book like It Ends With Us or a movie like It Ends With Us will help some
00:46:09.180
Maybe it will give them the courage to do that.
00:46:11.540
And I'm not saying that that effect is not good.
00:46:17.740
But I still would never encourage a woman to consume this kind of content.
00:46:23.680
If that were really her only goal, if that were just Colleen Hoover's altruistic motivation,
00:46:30.900
then she could write a book about that that is compelling without all of the blatant sex.
00:46:37.780
Because I think what that does, because as far as I understand, I haven't read all of
00:46:43.060
her books, but most of her books are like that.
00:46:45.640
I still think whether it's intentional or not, when you are writing these hot and heavy
00:46:51.300
romantic scenes with a woman and her abuser, you are almost glorifying the abuse.
00:46:59.040
Because women, unfortunately, still get attached to that abusive character.
00:47:08.800
I actually think that a lot of her books from the excerpts that I've read, even though it
00:47:15.360
is saying that it's condemning abuse and encouraging women to get out of abuse, still how the abuser
00:47:21.800
is described and how the relationship and the sexual interactions between the two are depicted,
00:47:31.580
It almost is glorified in the same way that like a lot of these songs by young women nowadays,
00:47:37.880
they might say that they are bemoaning the abuse or the toxicity and their relationships.
00:47:43.600
But at the same time, it's also depicting like a yearning for this kind of toxicity
00:47:49.740
and these relationships, this kind of weird codependency.
00:47:53.640
So I actually do not think that this kind of entertainment or this kind of content is at all healthy.
00:48:03.480
I even think that in a lot of ways about redeeming love.
00:48:06.780
Now, that's a book that I read a ton when I was in high school and college.
00:48:10.440
Not that it was necessarily glorifying abuse, but I think it was too sexually graphic for
00:48:18.220
the young woman who was trying to abstain from the sexual behavior until she was married.
00:48:25.960
This kind of emotional pornography, in addition to the sexual aspects of it, I think just makes
00:48:34.140
women extremely discontent, extremely discontent with their own life, extremely discontent with
00:48:39.840
their own marriage in a way that is not even like grounded in reality, and also just feeds lust
00:48:47.820
and fantasy that does not feed into a person's contentment and satisfaction, which of course,
00:48:59.420
So Focus on the Family has been talking about this, of course, for a long time, but they
00:49:03.080
have this article from 2014, and it's titled Book Boyfriend's Mommy Porn and the Problem
00:49:11.160
The article says this, just as pornographic images have the potential to ruin a man's ability
00:49:16.400
to love in real life, so too, a written form of pornography has a potential to ruin a woman's
00:49:24.280
And they're also talking about Fifty Shades of Grey, which of course is very explicitly in
00:49:33.420
And one of the people that they consult in the article is named Dana Gresh, and she
00:49:38.260
says, the fantasy of erotica inspires one thing, the longing for more.
00:49:42.400
Instead of satisfying your longings, it will awaken, manipulate, and deepen them.
00:49:46.920
No longer will you be satisfied with an attentive boyfriend or husband who occasionally brings
00:49:53.020
You will want a man who is obsessively, unrealistically in love with you and has the bank account to prove
00:49:58.080
A hardworking man who is faithfully scraping by will never be able to provide for you
00:50:07.140
She also goes on to say, one of the things that's happening is that our society really
00:50:12.220
So we're telling women that we have to be a certain way or act a certain way.
00:50:18.060
The problem with that is that when I look back in the book of Genesis, God loves gender.
00:50:22.580
When he says, I've created you in my image, he lists two things, male and female, that
00:50:29.460
And that really kind of brings it all the way back to Phyllis Schlafly.
00:50:33.100
You have these women girl boss, like self heroes who are simultaneously saving themselves while
00:50:40.560
also having to be satisfied by this unrealistic, almost toxic romance.
00:50:46.580
And yes, I do think it creates a lot of dissatisfaction in women that can also lead to faithlessness
00:50:54.740
And so all that to say, I think that we need to be very careful about consuming, especially
00:51:02.680
I mean, she's really popular for a reason because her books are so easy to read, like
00:51:08.400
you're not going to be challenged intellectually at all.
00:51:10.200
But you're also going to be left like so spiritually hungry and emotionally hungry.
00:51:19.600
And that's not good no matter what stage of life that you're in.
00:51:24.500
Like I've seen Christians post about like going to see the movie.
00:51:30.480
But I definitely think that the books, we think that like a book is a loophole or something
00:51:36.420
and that it's not going to have an effect on our mind, that it doesn't affect our holiness
00:51:42.500
But Satan loves to use these things to trick us into escapism and fantasy and unplug us
00:51:51.720
from the good life and blessings and marriage that God has given us.
00:51:56.160
And if you feel like, okay, you're not in a good marriage, you do want another kind of
00:52:00.340
romance, you're still not going to find it in these fictional books.
00:52:04.320
You still have to reckon with reality and take it to God and allow it to be healed and to
00:52:13.540
You are not going to fix your life by escaping it in your mind, in your imagination.
00:52:21.060
It's actually just going to make things a lot worse.
00:52:37.580
Do not let your teenage daughters read Colleen Hoover.
00:52:44.800
But oh my gosh, like the hold that it had on my mind, the hold that it had on my emotions.
00:52:51.500
Literally, I read New Moon like in a day on a road trip with my parents.
00:52:56.020
And I remember we went to some like family reunion.
00:52:58.840
I literally could not function as like a 16-year-old girl because I was sobbing about Edward and
00:53:07.440
Like that's what it does to the impressionable female mind, especially a teenager who is hormonal
00:53:13.760
and just like brain still developing and who thinks that they want that kind of like
00:53:22.120
I read so many things as a teenager that I shouldn't have read.
00:53:25.400
They weren't to the level of like Fifty Shades of Grey, but they were just ungodly.
00:53:32.180
And I think that my parents were probably just happy that I was reading and like not watching
00:53:37.520
And it was great that I was reading, but I was reading trash and it was really bad for
00:53:41.960
It did set me up in some ways for unrealistic and unhealthy expectations for my relationships
00:53:51.720
And so parents just be really protective of what your kids are reading as much as you
00:53:55.080
are protective of what they're watching and where they're scrolling.