Ep 1059 ｜ After Tragedy, I Can’t Feel God. What Do I Do？ ｜ Q&A
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of Relatable, Allie answers some of your questions about politics and why she doesn t see herself ever running for office. She also talks about why she thinks Kamala Harris is going to win the 2020 election.
Transcript
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How do I deal with a friend who is deconstructing their faith?
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How do I get my politically apathetic friends to be engaged in politics?
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What kind of dog breed would my husband and I be?
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We've got so many good questions on today's episode of Relatable.
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It's brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.
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Today I am answering some of your wonderful questions.
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Do you ever see yourself becoming a politician?
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I've been asked this several times and the answer is no.
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I don't see myself becoming a politician, wanting to run for office.
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I really like what I do and I actually think that I have more of an ability to make change
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and to play a role in changing culture and changing minds and to make things happen and
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actually have more influence in what I do and it's a lot more fun and it's a lot more flexible
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and I get to wear whatever I want and live wherever I want.
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So it would have to be like an absolute clear calling and I just don't see that happening.
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I guess you never know, but I don't see it happening.
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Now, press secretary, that's not something that I would probably say no to.
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It depends on who the president was and all of that and what stage of life that I'm in
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and all that good stuff, but that is probably as close as I would get to the political realm.
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Do I actually think that Kamala is attracting the majority of voters?
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Now, I saw someone make the point recently that she could not have lasted in like an
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18-month campaign the way that Biden tried to, the way that Trump has had to, that there's
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just no way that she could have lasted that long because there's so much material against
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And so this was just such an effective strategy for Team Kamala to be able to come in and
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save the day, to take the wind out of the sails after the Trump attempted assassination,
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and to just garner as much energy as possible and hope and pray that that pushes her through
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Remember, when she ran for president back in 2020, I mean, she barely got, what, 1% of
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They have changed that completely over the past few years and especially over the past few
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And it helps us not at all to be in denial about that.
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For some reason, there are people on the Trump side who get mad when I say that.
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I'm trying to take things seriously because I really want to win this election against
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And we will not win if we don't take it seriously.
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And we have to repeat those things over and over again.
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She's the most rabidly pro-abortion politician that we've ever seen.
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Like, there's so much out there policy-wise, personality-wise.
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I mean, he's pushing 100, so I don't think that's going to happen.
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But I would love to have Thomas Sowell on the podcast.
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I've had so many awesome people on that at this point.
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That would be bigger and better than the people that I've had.
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I mean, it'd be fun to have some celebrities, I guess, that are kind of like Christians in
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Now, there are plenty of people I haven't had on that I would love to have on.
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But like a reach guest, I feel like I've had most of the ones that I that I want.
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But we've got a few on our list that we're that we're going for.
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And I know that some of you are going to be like, almond milk.
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And some of you are like, oh, no, you just you'll like raw milk if you don't like regular.
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And, you know, I get the you really have to be careful about the kind of almond milk
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that you get, because a lot of it has like fake ingredients in there.
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You got to get the kind that's just filtered water and almonds.
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And then I also like I'll eat my magic spoon cereal.
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And that's like I like that because that's like low carb and high protein and put some
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And it's like a healthier version of, for example, like what was it, Reese's Puffs?
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Like, I can't believe we ate that stuff growing up.
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I also used to have like the Rice Krispie cereal, but never by itself, like probably a
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And then your last bites of cereal are literally just spoonfuls of sugar.
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That's the kind of cereal that I preferred growing up.
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But now I can have a healthier version when I have like my cocoa flavored magic spoon and
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some almond milk and then some yummy peanut butter in there.
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For those of you who don't know what crunchy is, like more on the natural side, I would
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He is crunchier than me, who is what what is it?
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Like I definitely do things that are more on the that are completely on the natural side.
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And then I still do things that are not considered that.
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He really cares about everything, like the the water that we drink, which I do, too, but
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He really cares about like all the material of all of our clothes and our sheets and all
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Um, yeah, he he really cares, I would say, even more than I do about all of that, about
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health and wellness and stuff, which I appreciate because I get to benefit from that.
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Uh, right now my favorite pair of shoes are some, I guess you would you call them espadrilles
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They're kind of like the same height all throughout and they're actually Velcro on the top.
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They're black and white and I really love them because they are super comfy and they
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kind of make my outfit look fancier while feeling like I'm wearing tennis shoes.
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Um, so I would say those are my favorite shoes right now.
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Um, what advice do I have for getting my mom friends interested in politics slash policy?
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I think that you just have to have conversations with them about it.
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Like if you're together, um, watching a show and, or you're together getting coffee, I think
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you just have to bring it up, especially if you're like in a Bible study situation because
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the Bible and politics intersect so much in this election season.
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I think you just have to start asking them questions or see if they'll read a book that
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you recommend or see if they'll listen to this podcast, maybe start them out with an episode
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Maybe it's an interview that I've done, um, that is especially compelling that can make
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them think about an issue through like an anecdote storytelling kind of way.
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Some, you know, a lot of people obviously like my monologues, but some people are better
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convinced and their attention is better grabbed through those kinds of like interviews and
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I'm also working on some tools for everyone this election season, because I've got my book
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coming out on October 15th and it talks all about these issues.
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And I thought about that woman, that Christian woman who I really want to under, I want her
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And so I wrote it not only for her, partly for her, but also just for you.
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So you can have the equipment to get her involved, to get her understanding, engaged, caring about
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those things without feeling anxious or worked up or like she has to be sucked into the news
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Um, also I actually think that this is probably a good starter to this book, because we do talk
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about politics and culture in it, but again, it's not explicitly political.
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Like it's not saying neither of my books is saying you have to go vote Republican, but
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it does talk about the issues primarily from a theological and philosophical perspective.
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And this, I think that they will, first of all, they'll, they'll be able to read it really
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I've got it in the audio version and it's just really easy to read.
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And I think it talks about the big culture war issues that we have in a way that is, um,
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really just understandable from a Christian perspective.
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Y'all know how much I love Carly Jean Los Angeles right now as I'm recording this ad, I've got
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They, it just, the jeans are just, it's just next level.
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I've had so many CJLA jeans over the years and it's really just spoiled me.
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I can't really wear any other jeans now because they have a lot of give without losing their
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I love Carly Jean Los Angeles, really all of their clothes.
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It's great for every season of life, every, uh, season of the year you can mix and match.
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Of course, I'm not a health, I'm not a health expert.
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Like if I were to choose carnivore or vegan, I would of course choose carnivore.
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And you get a lot of vitamins and minerals and, um, nutrients and good fats and protein
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And I think it's really good for your brain, really good for your muscles, really good for
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Uh, some animals are better than others for meat.
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And there's a lot that goes into that and I won't get into every single detail cause I
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was trying to do carnivore for a little bit, but it was hard to do.
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Um, I do think that I need some like sourdough bread sometimes for that purpose.
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So I haven't done carnivore, uh, while I've been nursing, but I think it works for a lot
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I think it cuts down on inflammation and even helps people immunity wise for other people
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Um, I think there are probably a lot of different kinds of eating plans that work for different
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kinds of people and some are better than others.
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Just objectively, but really it seems like for different individuals, different things
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work, or maybe it's more accurate to say for different groups of people, different things,
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Um, let's see how to deal with a hostile work environment.
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Well, blessed are you when you are persecuted for righteousness's sake.
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I'm not saying that being conservative is the same thing as being Christian, but I'm
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assuming, I'm guessing that it is probably actually your faith and you standing for Christian
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And they are probably considering those just conservative or traditional or bigoted when
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really you're just being a Christian, believing in the definition that God created of marriage,
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of gender, of the definition of life inside the womb.
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We call those things political or conservative in the political sense, but really you're just
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Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm assuming that's, that is what they are ridiculing you for.
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And if so, like, blessed are you when you are persecuted for righteousness's sake.
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If it's something that really is so hostile that it's prohibiting you from doing your job,
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then you need to go to HR and say that you are being discriminated against, uh, because
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And, uh, because of that, it's created a hostile work environment.
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Those buzzwords are probably going to scare them and they're probably going to do something
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I would say that that could be an approach to take, uh, while also just being the light
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of Christ, continuing to be the hardest working, the most honest, um, and the most enthusiastic
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employee there and never returning their gossip and their slander in kind.
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It may not seem like it is, um, like it is worth it to take the high road, but number
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one, God sees you and cares and is well pleased with that.
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Um, and then number two, you never know what seeds your good behavior, your kindness, your
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obedience is planted in the hearts of those people who hate you now and how God will water
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Um, my pastor's wife is now the new pastor of the church after her husband died.
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If you were in ice cream flavor, what would you be and why?
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And I don't know if it has anything to do with my personality.
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Thoughts on separate youth groups, Sunday school classes for kids during church.
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You know, different churches do things different ways.
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I was raised in the Baptist church, still go to a Baptist church now.
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And so we do the like, you know, kids Sunday school and the adult Sunday school too.
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And sometimes kids come into the main service, but most of the time they stay in kids church.
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And I would say typically Presbyterian churches do it a little bit differently.
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They don't have Sunday school class for all ages for both hours every Sunday.
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Like sometimes kids will go to Sunday school class for one hour.
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They'll go to the main service with their parents or some churches will do it to where
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they have like a nursery and kids church until age six.
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And then after that, the kids are expected to go into service with their parents.
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I remember growing up only going to Sunday school for one hour.
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And I, you know, now that I think about it, my church probably does that too.
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After a certain age, I think it's only one hour.
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And then you go into the main service with your kids.
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So I think it's great when people bring their kids into church though.
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Even in those hard ages, two, three, four, those are tough ages to get your kid to sit
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But I also think it's great for kids to be in an environment where they are learning in
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a fun way, in an engaging way, in a way that makes sense to them, the principles and the
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So I really think that there can be benefits to both.
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And I think it's really just a choice of a parent.
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And of course, either way, the parent cannot just delegate their responsibility to be the
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primary faith trainer of their child to Sunday school.
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But Sunday school, I think, can be a good help with that.
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Who would you like to have dinner with on the left?
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This person says aside from AOC, because I always say AOC, because I really think I could
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It would probably be like probably Kamala Harris at this point.
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Like, I really just want to like psychoanalyze these people, dig deep into these people, know
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I know that we've seen that since Willie Brown.
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But like, I'd really just kind of like want to push on that.
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Um, probably anyone on the left who like calls himself a Christian, uh, and still pushes
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progressive policies, I would like to talk to them.
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How to navigate friendships with people in different life stages?
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I was, I believe mom first of my friends and there was definitely a learning curve there.
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And there was definitely like, I would say a difficult year or two.
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It's gotten better as like, I have gotten more in different friends who are even like a little
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ahead of me in life or in the same stage in life.
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Um, but then also as other friends have become moms, that's become easier.
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But I do have friends that are either ahead of me, like they've got more kids than me,
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And then I do have friends who are single, um, and obviously they don't have, they don't
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Um, at least for me, maybe some people, for some people it can, it can be, but life just
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It takes more commitment to say, okay, we're going to get dinner once a month or we're going
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to still text about the things that we do agree on.
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But it's also okay if you shift and if you find some new friends, that doesn't mean you
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should abandon your old friends just because they don't have kids, but it is going to be
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You don't have to pretend to have the same schedule and the same life and wants and all
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of that as when you were single or when you didn't have kids because you do and mom
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And so try to find some friends in your same life stage.
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00:20:03.700
They help support pregnancy centers, but they make supplements that really, really work
00:20:09.860
So I've been, you know, postpartum for almost a year now.
00:20:20.860
And so I really needed supplements that were going to give me the nutrients that I need
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that we're going to make sure that my iron levels are okay.
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And all of that, I didn't want to take supplements that I wasn't absorbing.
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And when I switched to WeHeart Nutrition at the beginning of the year, it made such a difference.
00:20:36.740
I recently got some blood work done by my functional medicine doctor, and she said that my iron
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levels were excellent, which I'm not kidding is like the first time that I've ever heard
00:20:50.600
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00:20:57.740
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00:21:02.660
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00:21:11.960
If you could have anyone for president, who would it be?
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Honestly, honestly, like I really do think Ron DeSantis would be a great president one day.
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Um, I think he was just and is just such a great governor of Florida.
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Um, how do I deal with a friend who is deconstructing?
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Well, um, I think that you have to try to maintain the relationship and you have to try
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to have honest conversations with her where you start from a place of curiosity, where
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you ask her why she believes the things that she does, how she got there.
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Ask her about some of the stuff that she's reading and listening to.
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I think that'll help you understand where she's getting her arguments.
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Maybe you already know something that happened in her life that you can speak into, but I
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would, if you're strong in your faith anyway, I would offer to read and listen to some of
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the things that she's reading and listening to and ask if she'll do the same and just ask
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That's a really good one to have persuasive conversations with someone without feeling
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like you have to win every single conversation and argument.
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You're just pushing the ball down the field just a little bit every time by asking really
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You don't have to share Bible verses with them every day.
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But also, I would also just keep this in mind that as you try to maintain that friendship
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as much as you can, don't compromise your faith.
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Don't be tolerant of the heresies that she might start saying.
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Don't, in the name of like empathy and love, start affirming some of the deconstructing
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narratives she is telling you just because you think that that place of understanding
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If that starts happening where you feel pressured to start saying and affirming and agreeing things
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with things, tolerating things that you know are not true and that are simple, then that
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might not be a good friendship for you right now.
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But like friendship at all costs, I don't think is biblical.
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Like you have to think about your own mind, your own heart, your own faith as well.
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Do what you can to be at peace with her and to love her.
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But if at the end of the day, like she will not allow you to stand strong in your faith
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without you feeling bad or pressured or whatever, then I would take a break from that friendship.
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After multiple tragedies, I found myself, this person says, stepping away from the church
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I still believe in God, but every Christian and pastor I've spoken to has just said,
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I have a hard time believing that in the midst of multiple tragedies.
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You know, there was a time in college where I was dealing with a lot of insecurity and
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I was, I ended up after a while having an eating disorder just because I was really seeking
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a lot of affirmation and attention and approval based on how I looked.
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Just a very, like, I would have said that I was a strong Christian at the time.
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I was reading my Bible, but I still was just seeking a lot of the things of the world.
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And I wanted affirmation beyond what the Bible said that I was valuable.
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Like I could read Psalm 139 and read that I was fearfully and wonderfully made.
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I could read John 3, 16 and read that God loves me.
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But I remember thinking like that wasn't enough for me at the time, which is a really sad place
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But I remember thinking that like I wanted more.
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And by the grace of God, he pulled me out of that season and made me realize just the
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Like I was wrong to think that way, to think that the gospel wasn't enough, that the cross
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wasn't a sufficient signifier of his love for me.
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And so as hard as it might be to hear right now in the midst of tragedy, which is a testing
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I mean, James 1 actually says that we are supposed to be joyful when we go through trials of many
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kinds because the testing of our faith produces perseverance and character.
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And so it's these trials that are meant to press your faith.
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And so the fact that you feel strain on your faith right now, yeah, that comes with tragedy.
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But these people in your life are right to direct you to scripture and your thinking
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I've, I've, I've been there in a different way.
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I'm not saying I've been through all the city, all the same things you have.
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Um, but no matter what you have gone through, that is the right answer to go to the word
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and to pray and to renew yourself in the spirit of your mind with the truth of God's word.
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And do not judge God's power and the power of his word by how you feel in the moment.
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Like this is working out your faith with fear and trembling.
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That is what faith is, that even when it feels hard, even when it doesn't feel good,
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even when you want to turn away, you keep turning to God because despite how you feel,
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And when the next, when you do that, when you say, I'm going to keep going to this Bible
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preaching church, I'm going to keep showing up at Bible study.
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I'm going to keep thanking God every single day.
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I'm going to keep preaching the gospel to myself.
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When you do that, when you use those tools that God has graciously given us, um, to understand
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him and get through hard times, the next time something hard happens, you will have already
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exercised those muscles and they will be ready to be used.
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Um, so it might just be time for humility a little bit to realize like, oh, those people
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I think that they are telling you what is true.
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You should ask yourself, what are you looking to hear?
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Are you just looking for someone to validate your pain?
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Like your pain is probably extremely justified, but are you looking for someone to authenticate
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Are you looking for someone to say, yeah, you should be shaking your fist at God or no,
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You have every right to walk away from God right now.
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Because Christians aren't going to tell you that because it's not true.
00:29:07.800
You can see how God feels about us shaking our fist and questioning him.
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I know a lot of people will tell you to have all of your big feelings and shake your fist
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at God and all of those things, but I don't think that's the way to go.
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So I would say your Christian friends are right to give you the advice that they have.
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There are so many states that I haven't been to.
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I've probably been to more than the average person, but there's a ton of states that I
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And I truly think America is like the most beautiful country in the world.
00:29:54.220
We don't have the same history as some other countries just because we're not as old as
00:29:58.240
Europe, but we have some of the best scenery and the most fun things to do in the world.
00:30:03.400
So I want to go to all 50 states and I also want to go to Greece.
00:30:09.660
I've always wanted to go to Greece for a really long time and to follow the journeys of Paul.
00:30:24.580
There's a lot of places I would like to go, um, in Europe.
00:30:27.760
So I guess my bucket list has to do with traveling.
00:30:31.740
Um, yeah, I, I'm not like a huge travel person.
00:30:35.660
Like I like being home, but yeah, there's a lot of things I would like to see.
00:30:46.380
What non-Christian group do I enjoy engaging with the most?
00:30:52.400
That's tough because they all have their challenges.
00:30:55.480
They all have their challenges, but honestly, probably the, probably the person who believes
00:31:01.720
that they're Christian, but really just holds on to like every secular dogma and every left
00:31:11.060
Cause it's easier to kind of get to a place of commonality and really talk about why we
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00:32:09.980
How do I biblically honor my unbelieving mother who has some narcissistic traits?
00:32:16.900
Uh, well, I think that you can respect her and be kind to her and never returned her narcissism
00:32:24.940
That doesn't mean you have to be best friends with her.
00:32:26.420
It doesn't mean you have to talk to her every day.
00:32:27.820
It doesn't mean that you need to allow her to use these narcissistic traits to influence
00:32:40.200
And so you can honor her without being best friends with her, without talking to her all
00:32:45.460
of the time, but let her know you care for her.
00:32:48.080
You will need to be caring for her more tangibly, um, the older she gets.
00:32:53.200
And I would say everyone has narcissistic traits to a certain degree because everyone
00:32:59.620
But maybe you mean in like very intense ways, you can pray for her and maybe even try to get
00:33:06.280
her to do a Bible study with you because it sounds like just like everyone, she really
00:33:14.440
If you and your husband were dog breeds, what would you be?
00:33:20.460
I would be the kind of dog I would be as a cat.
00:33:28.180
Um, my husband, I think, um, an Australian shepherd.
00:33:33.620
I, I think, I think that's what we decided like friendly, but, and with like a lot of
00:33:44.880
He likes to run and, um, yeah, I forget the other reasons why he said Australian shepherd,
00:33:52.920
but that's what, that's what we're going to be.
00:33:59.000
Um, should husbands be able to dictate what their wife wears for modesty standards?
00:34:12.460
Should your husband dictate what your wife wears?
00:34:15.320
See that to me, the reason I don't like that is because that sounds more of like a father
00:34:20.060
daughter relationship than a husband wife relationship in which the two are one flesh
00:34:25.780
and the husband loves and trusts his wife and the wife loves and submits to her husband
00:34:32.180
and respects her husband because yes, wives are called to submit to their husbands.
00:34:36.420
And I do think if a husband said, uh, that's a little too low or that's a little too short
00:34:43.960
I do think a wife should, she respects her husband.
00:34:47.720
I think she'd say, oh yeah, you're totally right.
00:34:52.580
Uh, I, I, I do think that that's how it should go.
00:34:55.920
Now, should the husband be like, okay, this is your wardrobe.
00:35:01.700
And I get to say what you get to wear on a daily basis.
00:35:09.080
I, I don't think that that would be a sign of a healthy and godly relationship.
00:35:15.640
Um, Christian woman though, you should want to be modest, not just for the sake of honoring
00:35:22.800
your husband, um, but because God calls us to modesty.
00:35:26.760
Now, primarily in the biblical context, that means humility, but that will come with it.
00:35:33.400
Some like tangible standards for what we wear, because if we're talking about humility and
00:35:39.240
how we don ourselves, that means when we get dressed, we are getting dressed, not to draw
00:35:44.960
eyes to ourselves in the form of our body, but to adorn our body in a way that is dignified
00:35:54.060
and that honors God, that is not trying to get people to covet or to lust.
00:36:03.080
Now, I'm not saying that we have control over other people's thoughts and other people's
00:36:07.880
feelings, but I, I think a lot of women like play dumb on this.
00:36:13.980
Like they don't know what constitutes as like modest, dignified dress.
00:36:19.200
Like we all know, we all know what it looks like to be modest and what it doesn't.
00:36:26.620
Um, and so I would say, don yourself in humility and in dignity.
00:36:31.640
And if your husband is to the point to where he, it's like ridiculous standards to where
00:36:41.120
It's not like he's just trying to help a sister out and be like, yeah, your pants are
00:36:45.960
But it's to the point to where it is like this weird micromanaging thing that looks a
00:36:52.680
I would be concerned about spiritually what's going on there.
00:36:56.360
And I would look for, I would look for the help and the wisdom of an older Christian
00:37:01.520
woman and maybe her husband who can speak into this situation.
00:37:06.400
But as far as it depends on you, be at peace with him and submit to him as long as it does
00:37:11.420
not, um, cause you to sin and husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church.
00:37:17.900
That's Ephesians five and gave himself up for her.
00:37:20.840
That is a self-sacrificial love really should never resemble a like father, daughter, weird
00:37:36.200
Uh, we don't know what's going to happen in the future.
00:37:38.120
Hopefully there's not some other kind of pandemic.
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Hopefully the supply chain stays sturdy for us, but you just never, you never know.
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Uh, there's always the risk of something happening where you're not able to get to the medication
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And so you want an emergency stash of medication.
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That's an emergency stash of lifesaving antibiotics.
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You can add on things like ivermectin or Tamiflu or Tamiflu or, uh, an EpiPen just in case
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I mean, wow, that can literally save lives or you can get a Jace daily.
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That's a year long supply of the prescriptions that you and your family rely on.
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If you enter to win at the website, then you can possibly get a Jace case every year for
00:38:32.500
How do we as Christians balance constitutional freedom of religion with wanting our values
00:38:42.100
to be represented and displayed through society and government systems?
00:38:46.940
Well, remember the separation of state and church is not the separation of God and law.
00:38:56.960
Like there is always going to be a belief system that is ingrained in each and every law that
00:39:03.960
Every law is based on what we believe about right and wrong.
00:39:09.900
And so the question is only ever what belief system does this come from?
00:39:15.200
The founders obviously understood that because even as they wrote the first amendment, which
00:39:20.120
does not have separation of church and state in there, but it does have freedom of religion
00:39:24.540
that the state is not going to establish your religion and force you to go to that church.
00:39:28.460
They also wrote the Declaration of Independence that says that we were created with certain
00:39:39.460
That's why they are inalienable and inherent, why they transcend state power, because they were
00:39:45.520
given to us by a transcendent God whose power is bigger than the government's because he
00:39:52.820
And so they recognize that even as the state should not establish a religion, that that
00:40:00.880
does not mean that God is out of the public square or that God is not seen in any of our
00:40:06.400
legal documents or that our laws can be devoid of a belief system.
00:40:13.720
I mean, we see the religion of secular progressivism on display.
00:40:18.420
Um, we see their flags, we see their mantras, we see their philosophies everywhere ingrained
00:40:26.940
into public school curriculum and academia, in our laws and our policies and our regulations
00:40:34.840
We are forced to see it and to tolerate it and even to celebrate it and to affirm their
00:40:41.360
And so what that shows us is that there's always going to be a predominant religion,
00:40:48.900
And if that's the case, it may as well be the belief system that has led to the greatest
00:40:53.100
freedom and human flourishing in all of human existence, which is Christianity.
00:40:56.760
That does not mean that the state is establishing a specific Christian church that people have to
00:41:05.340
It doesn't mean that people have to bow down to God.
00:41:07.400
It does not mean that people have to read the Bible or believe the things that we believe.
00:41:13.720
It's acknowledging that there will always be a dominating belief system and that Christianity
00:41:19.920
has always been the best one, the best foundation, the best spirit behind all of our laws.
00:41:29.580
And look, you Christian, you Christian conservative, you were told that you are the only one that cannot
00:41:37.180
You have to check it at the door before you bake the cake, before you design the website,
00:41:41.500
before you make the floral arrangement, before you vote, before you teach, before you talk.
00:41:47.440
But the secular progressive is never told that.
00:41:49.600
The liberal so-called Christian is never told that.
00:41:53.720
They get to bring the full force of their worldview into every place in the public sphere, even
00:41:59.860
But when the Christian conservative does it, they're a Christian nationalist and a theocrat.
00:42:05.460
Just as they have every right to bring their belief system and their full ideas to the table,
00:42:11.780
And there's a reason why they don't want you to, because Christian, conservative Christianity,
00:42:16.960
which really just Christianity is the biggest obstacle for tyranny
00:42:23.780
and the biggest spoil on the back of dictators and always has been.
00:42:27.820
And that's why they want you to compartmentalize your faith, even as they tell every other belief
00:42:32.980
system to allow their faith to inform how they vote and how they act.