Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - November 25, 2024


Ep 1106 ｜ 'I Was Living a Double Life：' Breaking Free from LGBTQ Sin ｜ Guest： Richard Matthews


Episode Stats

Length

50 minutes

Words per Minute

182.88142

Word Count

9,283

Sentence Count

720

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

19


Summary

Richard Matthews has gone viral on Tik Tok for his videos explaining his testimony, going from an openly gay man to a repentant Christian. He is here today to share his testimony in person! This episode is brought to you by our friends at GoodRanchers.


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Richard Matthews has gone viral on TikTok for his videos explaining his testimony, going
00:00:07.460 from an actively, openly gay man to a repentant Christian.
00:00:12.740 He is here today to share his testimony in person.
00:00:16.080 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.
00:00:18.580 Go to GoodRanchers.com, code Allie.
00:00:20.640 That's GoodRanchers.com, code Allie.
00:00:30.000 Okay, before we get into our conversation, I just want to make a little announcement.
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00:01:03.700 All right, without further ado, here is our new friend, Richard.
00:01:11.700 Richard, thanks so much for taking the time to join us.
00:01:14.580 I'm so glad you're here.
00:01:15.980 Yes.
00:01:16.320 We just want to hear your testimony.
00:01:18.960 I've seen your videos.
00:01:20.240 I think I've reacted to your videos.
00:01:22.720 Yes, I think that you shared on TikTok.
00:01:24.840 Yeah.
00:01:25.060 Is that what it was?
00:01:26.280 Yeah.
00:01:26.420 That was one of the videos where I was just walking in the city.
00:01:28.860 Yes.
00:01:29.020 And you reacted to it.
00:01:30.900 And I was like, oh, there's Allie.
00:01:32.300 Yeah.
00:01:32.740 I love that.
00:01:33.760 Okay.
00:01:34.060 Let's start from the beginning.
00:01:35.880 Tell us who you are and how you got here.
00:01:38.080 Yeah, absolutely.
00:01:39.100 So I'm originally from Georgia.
00:01:40.840 I grew up there in Lithonia.
00:01:42.220 But all growing up, my family was divorced, separated and things of that nature.
00:01:49.040 My father, he comes from a background of about three marriages and three divorces with a few children as well.
00:01:56.720 A lot of infidelity and lust and addiction as well.
00:02:01.740 And I like to mention this because bloodline is so important in families.
00:02:04.780 But I was raised just with my mom and me and my brother were 15 years apart with two different dads as well.
00:02:12.120 And then he went off into the Navy.
00:02:14.580 So I kind of just been raised with her, you know, and I just grew up in church and I grew up with a nice big mega church down in the south.
00:02:22.920 My mom sung in choir.
00:02:24.780 So I guess I was a church kid.
00:02:27.920 That's kind of where I felt like really the inspiration to be creative and to dance.
00:02:32.240 I would be in some of the plays at church.
00:02:35.100 But then also my mom would just put me in, you know, sports and things.
00:02:38.320 So I played sports.
00:02:39.520 Then I was singing.
00:02:40.840 I was dancing.
00:02:41.960 And then I had to make a choice at one point.
00:02:43.800 So I was just like, Mom, I'll just dance.
00:02:46.200 And then I got into a performing arts high school.
00:02:49.020 But all throughout that time, I got through a lot of bullying, you know, while I was growing up, not having a dad.
00:02:55.840 People would pick up me about that and then just make fun of me, my voice, the way I stand, you know, the way I would act.
00:03:02.740 And then they would use that one word called gay.
00:03:05.360 And I was so confused about like where this was coming from.
00:03:08.840 So even as a as a little kid, you had it was just peers telling you this or any adults in your life?
00:03:15.460 Um, it's a it wasn't I was a peers, children, kids, school environment and even in church environments, too.
00:03:23.600 There's this weird sort of like picking and nitpicking that would happen.
00:03:27.340 My mom has she remembers that like sometimes she would get calls from school because I would like run away and just kind of hide and try to be away from people.
00:03:35.600 I even wrote in a journal about like why, you know, I didn't have my father.
00:03:39.740 And so like there were moments, you know, like that.
00:03:42.840 And my mom just, you know, I guess like in the best way that she could, we kept active because she was a single mom working really hard.
00:03:51.500 And so me having activities was one of the ways where I could like, you know, express myself, but also just kind of like be busy without really thinking about all of those things.
00:04:00.260 But I kept thinking about the word gay, like where is this word coming from?
00:04:03.820 Yeah.
00:04:03.960 And I looked it up on my own.
00:04:05.940 And then somehow one way the Internet was opening and I got into pornography.
00:04:10.620 I was around 10 or 11 by that time.
00:04:12.920 And I was having a hard time really even figuring out what this means with the Lord and at church, because when the word gay would be brought up, it would be this weird taboo word.
00:04:21.900 Like people didn't want to talk about it or people would somehow like, you know, kind of gossip about some people with this word.
00:04:29.620 And then eventually what ended up kind of happening was that I looked in the Bible, what gay means, what homosexual means and what the Lord had to say about it.
00:04:38.180 And I saw Leviticus 18, 22, where it says, you know, homosexual is a abomination, but I internalized it to me being an abomination.
00:04:46.420 And that was very hard.
00:04:47.580 And how old were, so just to clarify the timeline a little bit.
00:04:51.720 So when you were about 10 or 11, you were getting bullied and called feminine and gay because of how you talk.
00:04:57.740 You decided to look it up on the Internet to be like, well, why are people calling me this?
00:05:01.620 What does this mean?
00:05:02.740 And then sadly that led you to being exposed to gay pornography.
00:05:07.900 You became addicted to pornography, would you say, around 10 or 11?
00:05:11.840 And did anyone know this?
00:05:13.520 No, I kept it hidden.
00:05:14.700 I kept it secret.
00:05:15.360 Did you have your own, like, I don't know how old you are, but like, are you, this is like family computer or did you have your own device?
00:05:24.140 Like, how are you able to hide this at such a young age?
00:05:26.520 That time, like, I can't remember.
00:05:29.620 I think I did have my own computer at the time.
00:05:33.520 And I think I also was like, had my own cell phone.
00:05:36.820 And I think the Internet was just coming out.
00:05:41.440 So people were still filling out what to do, what's really safe and what's not.
00:05:44.860 I will say everything was very slow when I was on it.
00:05:49.160 But as I continued through high school, so I'm 30 now.
00:05:53.960 High school, like 2012 and a little bit earlier, like everything started to get faster.
00:06:00.200 Yeah, that's how old I am.
00:06:02.720 So it's not the Internet wasn't new, but like certainly our personal devices and things like that were new.
00:06:08.080 And a lot of parents, you know, obviously you had a single mom who was busy anyway, but a lot of parents just didn't know how to navigate supervision of those devices at the time.
00:06:19.680 I mean, people were afraid to use credit cards, too, at the time.
00:06:22.100 So like people were like still trying to navigate, like, what is this Internet type of situation?
00:06:27.240 But that happened with me.
00:06:29.040 And I also want to say, like, I didn't really have a strong biblical foundation.
00:06:33.280 I didn't really have the church to lean on to really talk about this.
00:06:37.420 And then what ended up happening was my pastor fell and our whole church collapsed.
00:06:42.800 And what do you mean by fell?
00:06:43.800 By fell, he actually had cheating and a lot of sexual allegations against young men in the church.
00:06:50.760 Oh, gosh.
00:06:51.340 So the very person that I was supposed to look up to to be this leader who was preaching the word of God and, you know, speaking about going to heaven and not going to hell and not sinning is the very thing that happened with him.
00:07:03.900 And so I just felt very discouraged along with being alienated.
00:07:07.860 And it really skewed my relationship with the Lord to where I just really thought I couldn't please him and that I had this shame and condemnation and that he hated me.
00:07:16.400 So, you know, that happened around my high school when the whole church fell.
00:07:22.000 My mom stopped going to church.
00:07:23.140 We stopped going to church.
00:07:24.100 It was like a big rift in everything in our community as well.
00:07:28.000 But I just focused on school.
00:07:30.400 So I went to college and I then declared that I was going to be a dance major.
00:07:35.220 My background is in the arts and as a performer.
00:07:37.620 And I've always loved it, like I said, from being young.
00:07:40.800 But also those environments, they're not the best and they're not biblical and unholy in a way.
00:07:47.660 They're very, you know, loosey-goosey, flowy, do whatever you want to do.
00:07:50.900 And we start learning these philosophies now in these, you know, liberal art classes where we're talking about, you know, God's not dead.
00:07:58.400 We're introducing what homosexuality means and like it can be a part of your creativity.
00:08:02.920 So all of that is being fueled.
00:08:05.500 I did have just I feel like the grace of the Holy Spirit where I didn't really dive into anything else.
00:08:10.820 Like I wasn't really a partier or drinker or whatever.
00:08:14.040 But I felt like I already had blood on my ledger because this porn thing I continue to do.
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00:09:15.580 And were you openly identifying as gay at this point?
00:09:23.100 I wasn't.
00:09:23.880 So I still held on to questioning whether I would come out or not because I just felt like it would just be really hard on my mom and my family.
00:09:31.980 And I also was wrestling with what the Lord says about it.
00:09:36.380 But I think when you're in those environments, things start to—you continue to question and then get ingrained into them.
00:09:43.840 Like my sin, like going into pornography, looking back into it, I wouldn't say I had the desire to be in pornography.
00:09:50.780 I didn't necessarily have a desire to be in homosexual, same-sex relationships.
00:09:55.460 But as I continued to become in agreement with the enemy with that sin, the Bible said sin becomes iniquity and then transgressions.
00:10:03.640 Inequity is repeated sin that becomes your identity.
00:10:06.180 So it literally becomes my identity.
00:10:08.000 So, of course, when people are saying being born this way, a part of it is like, yeah, I kind of believe you because sin is passed down and we live in a fallen nature.
00:10:14.680 And the more you keep doing it, the more it's ingrained with you.
00:10:17.640 So porn and, you know, all of that, lust, temptation, whatever it is, it became a part of like everything that I did.
00:10:26.300 I did it when I was sad.
00:10:27.600 I did it when I was mad, when I was angry.
00:10:30.280 So the same way—
00:10:30.800 It was like your escape.
00:10:31.580 Yeah, it was my escape to numb everything.
00:10:35.820 But I still thought about the Lord and everything that I did.
00:10:38.860 A lot of the dances that I would create, a lot of the art that I would create would still just acknowledge the Lord in some way.
00:10:43.900 So the Holy Spirit was definitely still moving and working.
00:10:47.580 But I never—when people would ask me, I would say, I don't think I'm gay.
00:10:51.520 I don't know.
00:10:52.680 But, you know, I just went through college and then graduated and became a performer.
00:10:58.300 My performing was not fulfilling in the way that I thought it was.
00:11:02.400 Sometimes we like to put our identity in different things, and it never satisfies you if it's not from the Lord.
00:11:08.700 So I had about a five-year career just performing and dancing, ballet, jazz, modern, tap, all the things.
00:11:14.960 I worked on a cruise ship.
00:11:15.760 I lived in Hawaii.
00:11:16.540 I lived in Virginia.
00:11:17.420 I lived everywhere.
00:11:18.220 Wow.
00:11:18.440 But in 2020, when the pandemic happened, no one was dancing.
00:11:22.920 And I felt like a big shift and a reset to where, like, I don't really even want to, like, dance anymore right now.
00:11:28.200 I want to kind of take a break.
00:11:29.980 And during 2020 and 2021, I started to learn more about, like, self-help.
00:11:36.340 I started to go into therapy.
00:11:38.720 My therapist actually was a pastor and a preacher, so that was great.
00:11:44.520 And where were you living at that time?
00:11:46.200 I moved to New York in 2020.
00:11:48.480 And you found a Christian pastor therapist in New York.
00:11:51.240 Yes, I did.
00:11:51.700 Wow.
00:11:52.120 Yeah.
00:11:52.540 It was through a lovely connection with some good friends of mine.
00:11:56.000 And I just started to work in corporate.
00:11:58.040 I was thinking about being more creative and entrepreneurial and all these things, but none of it was still satisfying.
00:12:04.460 And so I told my therapist about my porn and all the things, and he's like, we got to get you into recovery.
00:12:10.180 And I just had this revelation that my life was out of control.
00:12:14.620 I was watching porn even at work, and I was like, this is not good.
00:12:18.020 Yeah.
00:12:18.160 So I felt a shift in two ways, Allie.
00:12:20.600 I would say, one, I was like, I need Jesus, so let me go find church.
00:12:26.300 And then the other thing was, I feel really sad and alone, so I feel like I need to be in a relationship and I need to come out.
00:12:31.420 So there was this weird double life happening now around 2022, where I was going to church at my home church now at V1 Church.
00:12:41.220 Shout out to Pastor Mike and Julie Signorelli.
00:12:44.220 And I started to go on dates, and I started to explore what this would look like since I had been holding on to this and not coming out for about, what is this, 20 plus years.
00:12:55.040 Had you had relationships?
00:12:56.720 Um, I hadn't had any, like, real relationship, really any real, like, homosexual relationships.
00:13:04.360 I had crushes on people in high school and in college.
00:13:08.040 Um, I had some, you know, gatherings together, maybe with a few people, um, with the crush that I had.
00:13:15.720 But it was never really actually, like, a relationship together.
00:13:19.720 Um, 2022, I did get into a relationship, though.
00:13:22.900 So I went on some dates, I did get into a relationship with a guy for about maybe two months, and then we just ended up not working out.
00:13:29.640 But I felt like the pull was, like, I need Jesus to really come out of this pornography.
00:13:34.740 So I had this, like, real, like, critical, like, crucial, like, reality of, like, my life is not good.
00:13:42.800 And in the queer community, and I've been around, you know, some of events that they would have, and it's like, everything's great, and we're just drinking it away, we're sexing it away.
00:13:53.100 And I'm like, why is my worth attached to how much partying or how much sex that I can do?
00:14:00.120 Now, you know, obviously, I was, you know, I grew up a little bit in church, so I feel like that played a part into it.
00:14:04.940 But I just felt, like, still alienated even in the community.
00:14:08.780 Like, they kind of, like, are cliquish in a way.
00:14:11.520 Like, you're too feminine, you're too masculine, you're too tall, you're too fat, you're too this.
00:14:15.820 So this, like, loving community wasn't really loving.
00:14:18.720 And so I decided to go to my church in V1, and I went into the recovery group.
00:14:23.220 That was my first small group that I was in.
00:14:25.700 And there I learned that the Lord loved me.
00:14:28.240 Because all this time, I thought the Lord hated me, and that I thought I couldn't, like, amount to what He was asking me to do.
00:14:35.460 And I realized, and for anyone listening, the Lord is not asking you to do anything.
00:14:40.280 He just wants you to receive.
00:14:42.240 Identity is a gift for you to receive.
00:14:44.860 It's not something that you have to define or earn.
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00:15:50.440 So 2022, I'm going through recovery, 12 steps, going through all of this.
00:15:55.240 I'm still kind of battling with this idea of maybe potentially being a gay Christian because nothing was working where my porn wasn't resolved and I still had these desires and attractions.
00:16:05.040 So I made a prayer or I said a prayer in 2023 of January where I said, Lord, I feel like I can't change and I feel like I can't really fully come to you and devote myself to you.
00:16:16.600 I said, if being gay and being Christian is not true, let me know and I'll accept it.
00:16:21.520 But if it's true, that's great.
00:16:22.840 I'll accept it.
00:16:23.600 But I said, at this point, I just want you.
00:16:26.420 My prayer was not for me to be straight.
00:16:28.160 My prayer is that I wanted Jesus.
00:16:30.260 And when I said that to the Lord, sorry.
00:16:32.940 That's okay.
00:16:33.740 When I said that to the Lord, I heard him tell me to come to him.
00:16:38.140 And that's what it says in Matthew.
00:16:39.820 Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
00:16:43.400 And I'm so thankful that I heard him and he was able to really give me a new heart and transform me.
00:16:51.400 And all of those desires and everything started to go away around March.
00:16:56.420 I woke up one day like I haven't watched porn in like two weeks.
00:16:59.980 And so it was an act and a mercy and a grace and a miracle of God that he literally transformed my life and started to really transform my desires.
00:17:10.760 But ultimately, that prayer was really what changed everything.
00:17:15.900 A few months later, I got through deliverance because often people don't really know that there is a spirit behind homosexuality.
00:17:25.000 The agenda that is happening in our country and against our kids, it's not a new thing.
00:17:29.480 It's an old thing that has been talked about in the Bible.
00:17:32.260 And so we have to overcome these principalities with the power of the Lord.
00:17:35.940 And so I went through deliverance, but it was so sweet how the Lord did it.
00:17:41.460 I got deliverance in my bedroom and with the dream that I had.
00:17:46.240 And it was like I was asleep, but I was awake.
00:17:48.460 It was really beautiful.
00:17:50.000 And the very room where I would watch pornography, the very room that was death and destruction and torment.
00:17:56.640 Like I was depressed.
00:17:57.980 I was anxious.
00:17:59.020 I had like insomnia moments where I couldn't go to sleep.
00:18:01.300 I would have nightmares.
00:18:02.720 Like I would have like I wouldn't want to be able to go to work.
00:18:05.580 I wouldn't want to be able to get out of bed.
00:18:07.160 Like I was that stressed and anxiety induced to the point where I like was I wanted to disconnect from everything, even having just unalive thoughts and things of that nature and being so severely depressed where the Lord transformed all of that in one night in my bedroom.
00:18:24.440 And I had so much peace the next day.
00:18:28.000 And then a couple months later.
00:18:29.740 And what did that look like?
00:18:31.980 Because I come from a Reformed background.
00:18:34.500 So we really don't use language like deliverance or like a particular spirit behind a sin.
00:18:41.880 I would say that it's all of the flesh.
00:18:45.040 It's all demonic.
00:18:45.980 It's all satanic.
00:18:46.440 Anything that draws us away from God.
00:18:50.000 And so that's not that's not, you know, theological language I would use.
00:18:54.040 So can you describe what you mean by that?
00:18:56.800 Yeah.
00:18:57.200 Um, so this is what I will say.
00:19:07.060 I know people have different backgrounds and they can agree or disagree.
00:19:12.420 But in 2023, what happened for me was I was unemployed.
00:19:18.020 I was furloughed and I spent all my time reading the Bible.
00:19:21.780 And when I read the Bible, we see there are miracles and signs and wonders in the Old and New Testament.
00:19:28.020 But what Jesus does in the New Testament is he calls and speaks to people and speaks behind the spirits for them to be, you know, casted out of them.
00:19:36.640 And so this might be new and new language for some people, but the agenda, the sin, everything is there's a spirit behind it.
00:19:47.320 And so I guess I really don't know another way to say this, but I will say all of the thoughts that you have, they come from the flesh, but they also come from the enemy, Satan.
00:20:00.200 And he has things orchestrating where his goal is to destroy families and destroy men, destroy women.
00:20:08.380 And he does that.
00:20:09.520 I mean, he's not omniscient.
00:20:10.640 He's not omnipresence.
00:20:11.480 He's not everywhere all at once, but he sends his enemies out to be able to torment you.
00:20:17.580 And it happens when we come into agreement.
00:20:20.360 Like the Lord is life.
00:20:22.380 Like pornography is not life.
00:20:24.580 It is death.
00:20:25.200 Everything that we do that is outside of the will of God is, you know, sin is separation from God and it's death.
00:20:30.920 And in order to be resurrected and redeemed from death, we need the power of God.
00:20:35.860 And so in order to do that, deliverance is a way to do that.
00:20:39.020 So you just, once you profess Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you confess him in your heart, just like it says in Romans and believe, you know, you have authority now that God gave Adam and Eve, which says in Genesis that the devil took back.
00:20:51.800 But now you have authority.
00:20:52.840 So you just declare his name and anything that is not of God, anything that is not bringing life, it has to go.
00:21:02.000 You know, the Bible says that we are a holy temple unto the Lord.
00:21:05.480 So our bodies, our reflection are even like the tabernacle in the wilderness.
00:21:10.140 You know, we have the outer courts.
00:21:12.460 We have the holy place.
00:21:14.460 And then we have the most holy of holy place.
00:21:16.680 That is an analogy of also your body.
00:21:19.160 So you are being a holy temple that is holding the presence of God.
00:21:25.080 And so we want to be able to purify and consecrate that as much as possible.
00:21:30.260 But, you know, people can agree or maybe they have questions about that.
00:21:34.960 I encourage people to dive in and read as much as they can.
00:21:38.100 But this is my story and my testimony.
00:21:39.940 And I know a lot of people need to know the love of the Lord and they need freedom.
00:21:45.020 Deliverance is just the love of the Lord.
00:21:47.260 That's all it is.
00:21:48.660 You know what I'm saying?
00:21:50.240 So that's what I would say for that.
00:21:52.280 Yeah.
00:21:52.840 We might use different language, but we both mean similar things when we talk about sanctification.
00:22:00.320 When the Lord starts working on your heart, C.S. Lewis has this amazing quote, and I'll butcher it if I try to paraphrase it.
00:22:06.580 But basically, he doesn't want part of you.
00:22:08.720 He wants all of you.
00:22:09.920 When he walks into your heart, he's not just taking up one room.
00:22:13.040 He says, no, this is all mine.
00:22:15.740 And I am going to make it my own.
00:22:17.280 If this is going to be, you know, where I sit on my throne like this, I'm going to make this my own.
00:22:23.200 And that working out our salvation with fear and trembling, the sanctification that is required, the continual self-sacrifice that is required does mean God ridding us of sin.
00:22:36.140 And that doesn't mean that we won't struggle.
00:22:39.080 That doesn't mean that we won't have temptation.
00:22:41.240 That doesn't mean that we'll never feel anxious or fearful.
00:22:44.740 As long as we are on this side of eternity, we still have to bear some consequences of the reality of the fall and sin.
00:22:53.920 But Jesus, in our salvation and the grace that he gives us, you're right.
00:22:59.400 It's not only salvation.
00:23:01.240 It also can be deliverance from sin.
00:23:04.120 And he can change our desires.
00:23:05.980 That's something that a lot of people don't believe.
00:23:08.360 Or he can rid us of some struggles.
00:23:11.240 So I think what you're saying there, that God can take away desires.
00:23:16.160 He can change desires.
00:23:17.600 I think that's important to acknowledge.
00:23:18.980 Listen, I was literally one way before, and now I'm not.
00:23:22.540 It's only through the power of the Lord, you know?
00:23:24.720 And even you can look back in Exodus with Egypt.
00:23:28.240 That was a deliverance.
00:23:29.180 The Lord was delivering his people from slavery and bondage out.
00:23:33.020 Same thing is happening with his people.
00:23:35.280 This is what we're talking about here.
00:23:36.740 Yes, there has been attack, but the Lord is coming in and he's bringing back his children and he's saving lives and he is indeed sanctifying them, you know?
00:23:47.680 And so a few months after, you know, my deliverance and me going through a process with my church being sanctified, the Lord told me to start to share my testimony, which was around, I would say, May of 2023.
00:23:59.280 I opened up a TikTok.
00:24:02.060 I never had a TikTok before.
00:24:03.600 I was, like, done with social media.
00:24:06.420 And the Lord was like, no, you need to open it.
00:24:08.320 And I was so frustrated, but I did.
00:24:10.560 And then a video went viral from a short, like, clip of my testimony.
00:24:14.680 And then I just kept posting and sharing on TikTok all throughout 2023.
00:24:19.560 2024 comes around.
00:24:21.440 And thankfully, I'm working in corporate again.
00:24:24.700 I'm still making content and videos.
00:24:26.640 But then, unfortunately, around June of 2024 this year, they saw some of my content.
00:24:32.460 And listen, I, you know, I was recording in some conference room, but a lot of my content is, yes, talking about the Lord, but also just being silly with the Lord because the joy of the Lord is our strength.
00:24:42.200 You know what I'm saying?
00:24:43.460 And so I was having, you know, videos that went across that also went viral.
00:24:48.780 Me just walking in the street talking about the Lord.
00:24:50.740 I believe David Harris, he reposted one of my videos, which was cool.
00:24:54.380 And I think that's also the video you posted.
00:24:57.100 And then they called me in one day out of nowhere.
00:25:00.960 I was praying with the Lord, and the Lord was like, prepare my heart.
00:25:03.700 And I was like, what's going to happen today?
00:25:05.160 But he was like, I need you to pray.
00:25:06.640 I need you to fast.
00:25:07.220 I was like, okay.
00:25:08.180 And then a couple hours later in the afternoon, they let me go.
00:25:12.460 And so I was just, and I wasn't surprised.
00:25:15.180 Like the Bible talks about in 1 Peter, he was like, don't be surprised or shocked for any persecution.
00:25:19.280 And just as we suffer for Christ, we're going to suffer in his glory.
00:25:22.540 So blessed are the ones who are persecuted.
00:25:24.260 So, you know, I let the Lord handle all the things that he handles on the back end.
00:25:28.900 Vengeance is his.
00:25:30.200 But my story has catapulted since then through the grace and the favor of the Lord and what
00:25:35.840 the enemy meant for my harm.
00:25:37.360 You know, the Lord has brought it for good.
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00:26:49.940 Tell me about that time that you joined this small group for recovery.
00:26:55.360 And then before you actually were saved and the Lord helped rid you of your addiction
00:27:02.660 to pornography and healed you, was the church that you were a part of, were there people
00:27:09.820 telling you directly, no, you cannot be actively gay and be a Christian?
00:27:15.680 Because today, it can be really hard to find Christians or a church who will tell you that.
00:27:21.340 They'll say, it's fine.
00:27:23.180 You can do both at the same time.
00:27:26.140 So was there anyone in your life who was telling you the truth?
00:27:29.580 Yeah.
00:27:30.740 I wouldn't necessarily say in my small group.
00:27:33.300 I would say in the actual sermons of my pastor, you know.
00:27:37.340 But also, like I said, the Lord was doing a work in my heart where I, like, felt like
00:27:41.820 I needed the Lord and I'm going to stay even if it feels uncomfortable.
00:27:44.940 I would do that.
00:27:46.060 They would preach and speak about the truth of what the Lord says about sexuality, what
00:27:49.740 He says about marriage, what He says about, you know, your identity.
00:27:54.500 And I would stay, you know.
00:27:56.060 Sometimes people would leave, but I just felt this such conviction to stay and know truth.
00:28:01.200 I think when you're hungry for truth, you're going to find it.
00:28:04.620 But also, like I said, it was the understanding that I think sometimes we think Christianity
00:28:10.120 is, oh, what not to do.
00:28:12.780 And it's like, yeah, for sure.
00:28:15.080 But it's also, I love the Lord so much because He is good and I obey Him because He's good
00:28:20.500 and because He loves me and I'm undeserving and worthy for it.
00:28:24.060 So I think sometimes people kind of get caught in that trap and it becomes very religious.
00:28:28.760 It becomes very condemning in that way to think almost that you're trying to, like, work
00:28:36.980 your salvation through works, which is not even the gospel.
00:28:41.020 So in that small group is where I learned that Jeremiah 29, 11, know I have good plans
00:28:46.460 for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you.
00:28:49.400 My life verse that saved my life was Matthew 3, 17.
00:28:51.960 I learned that with my friends Aaron and Frank and Chris about this is my beloved son.
00:28:58.760 And whom I love and I'm well pleased with him.
00:29:02.700 This is what God says to Jesus when He's baptized.
00:29:05.600 Before Jesus did anything, before Richard did anything, before Allie did anything, you
00:29:11.380 are loved by God.
00:29:13.260 And that is so freeing.
00:29:15.420 So to answer your question, yes, I always was hearing truth, but it was the combination
00:29:21.140 of the truth along with the mercy and the grace and the love and kindness of the Lord that
00:29:27.440 transformed me to now that I know that I know I'm a royal priesthood, period.
00:29:33.800 I'm His son.
00:29:35.580 I'm a son of the great high King.
00:29:38.060 And if you're not going to die for me, you have nothing to say to me.
00:29:40.920 So I will gladly crucify my flesh because He crucified His flesh on the cross.
00:29:46.780 Yeah.
00:29:47.280 You know?
00:29:47.780 Yeah.
00:29:48.140 What would you say to someone?
00:29:49.920 Because a lot of people say this, well, you didn't have to give up being gay.
00:29:54.400 You could have stayed in that relationship and you can be both at the same time.
00:29:58.580 There are plenty of people watching this and listening to this that think that.
00:30:02.020 What is your response to them?
00:30:04.240 God is a God of covenant.
00:30:07.140 In the Bible, He's often described as the bridegroom and we are the bride, the body of
00:30:12.400 Christ.
00:30:13.040 We are in a marriage and a covenant with Him.
00:30:14.960 The Lord doesn't do open relationships.
00:30:17.760 Just like a regular marriage doesn't do open relationships.
00:30:21.220 He is looking for us to be in a complete covenant and total surrender with Him because
00:30:27.240 He is a God that doesn't change and doesn't lie and keeps His promises to us.
00:30:31.440 In Exodus, it says to have no other God before me.
00:30:35.620 So when you are wanting to compromise your sexuality with your faith in a way, you are
00:30:41.800 holding your sexuality above the Lord.
00:30:45.000 That's idolatry.
00:30:46.740 It even talks about this in Malachi.
00:30:49.120 Malachi 1 and 2, I was reading about the offerings that the Jews were giving unto the
00:30:53.580 Lord.
00:30:54.200 And the Jews were thinking, everything's fine, Lord.
00:30:57.460 Like, I'm giving you offerings.
00:30:58.760 Like, I'm giving you a sacrifice.
00:31:00.020 And the Lord's like, no, like the sacrifices and offerings that you're giving are compromised.
00:31:06.460 They were supposed to give their first, their best, the lambs, the goats.
00:31:10.980 And they're giving things that are defective, that are compromised.
00:31:15.440 And then the Lord continues to talk about, I'm not even worried about the sacrifices at
00:31:19.840 this point.
00:31:20.480 I'm worried about your heart and the intention behind it.
00:31:23.020 Your own heart is even compromised.
00:31:24.680 So the word of the Lord has been true from the beginning of days to now, and it's continued
00:31:29.980 to be consistent.
00:31:31.140 You cannot serve two masters.
00:31:33.400 So, you know, when I talk about this for people, I tell them that you have to love the
00:31:38.540 Lord completely.
00:31:39.800 Jesus Christ died for you completely.
00:31:41.520 He didn't die for you halfly.
00:31:43.180 So we must do that as well.
00:31:44.980 Yeah.
00:31:45.120 And I'm sure you get plenty of criticism and pushback from people online.
00:31:50.960 What are some of the things that you hear?
00:31:54.580 One of the, like the, the two craziest things is that one, I'm still gay.
00:32:01.100 That's what people say.
00:32:02.620 And then the other thing is I was never gay.
00:32:06.260 Okay.
00:32:06.860 So it's like this weird, like do-si-do.
00:32:11.080 Why do people, why do people say those things?
00:32:13.560 What's their reasoning?
00:32:14.660 You know, people like, like people are going through their own healing and sanctification.
00:32:18.720 And so like a lot of them, they're be influenced by those spirits to where they're just like
00:32:23.060 acting out, you know?
00:32:25.440 And people are saying these things because they don't really believe that God is good.
00:32:30.300 And like, I get it.
00:32:32.060 I think sometimes we don't take our faith seriously and we are not like the Bible.
00:32:36.860 It says, Paul talks about this in Corinthians.
00:32:38.420 I just read this.
00:32:39.500 He said, Christianity, the way following Jesus is not about talk.
00:32:44.000 It's about the power of God.
00:32:46.080 And so when we look at all these other religions, we've kind of been kind of lukewarm and unfaithful,
00:32:51.460 kind of sitting around on the benches.
00:32:53.120 But when we are serious about our faith, you say like, no, like this is what truth is.
00:32:57.520 And this is what good is.
00:32:59.620 And this is what life is because that's what God is.
00:33:02.340 That's a part of his character and his nature.
00:33:04.300 He says, I'm here to give you life and life more abundantly.
00:33:06.360 And that he's good.
00:33:07.240 But you will never know unless you read this.
00:33:09.800 You will never know unless you see the consistency of the Lord.
00:33:13.160 When I started reading this and I read this thing for myself, I care less what you have
00:33:17.640 to say.
00:33:18.020 I've read this.
00:33:19.120 The words that the Lord has spoken about me has just been so beautiful.
00:33:22.800 Like I came from a spirit of being an orphan, being abandoned and rejected.
00:33:26.800 And a lot of those people who, you know, maybe they're out in their sexuality.
00:33:31.140 That's, that's really what the root is.
00:33:32.940 The sexuality is a leaf on the tree.
00:33:34.900 Them wanting to be transgender, them wanting to do all those things, it's a leaf on the
00:33:38.420 tree.
00:33:38.940 The root is there's a disconnect of the unbelief in the goodness of God.
00:33:43.380 That's really what sin is.
00:33:44.860 So we need a revelation of that.
00:33:46.660 And so we want to share that as much as we can.
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00:34:13.520 But I love them most of all because they are the only pro-life diaper company.
00:34:18.320 You would think that every diaper company would be pro-life.
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00:34:51.480 You know, you mentioned when you were young, which I just find so heartbreaking, that anyone
00:34:55.320 would say this to a child, that people would criticize you for your mannerisms or how you
00:35:00.780 talk or maybe that you were in dance and they said, that's feminine, that's gay.
00:35:04.480 Yeah.
00:35:04.840 And still today, when I see some of the comments that people leave, they say, oh, well, you still
00:35:09.740 seem this way.
00:35:10.960 Yeah.
00:35:11.600 I mean, how does that make you feel and how do you respond to something like that?
00:35:17.480 I like to quote my pastor about this, like about just having an unoffendable heart.
00:35:23.080 And so if I'm saying that I'm crucified and I've died with Christ, I'm truly dead.
00:35:27.600 So you can keep kicking, but I'm a corpse and I'm going to be resurrected to new life as
00:35:33.060 a new creation.
00:35:34.080 So they can keep saying those things, but they're talking about a corpse and everything else has
00:35:40.280 just been me being a new creation with the Lord.
00:35:42.240 Um, I don't, I don't really have anything to say, you know, if the, you know, if the Lord
00:35:48.820 is leading me to, to evangelize and share the gospel to people in some way, if he's giving
00:35:53.060 me room to connect with them in that way, I will.
00:35:56.040 But I'm not on a mission to try to make people understand me if they've already committed
00:36:03.620 to misunderstanding me.
00:36:05.220 Yeah.
00:36:05.880 I think that's probably good advice for all of us.
00:36:09.540 That's true.
00:36:10.560 Yeah.
00:36:10.800 Um, what do you have to say about this kind of dichotomy that we see playing out or this
00:36:16.480 competition between just affirming people, just being nice to people, never telling anyone
00:36:21.520 hard truth and then speaking the truth in love.
00:36:24.340 Yeah.
00:36:28.700 Paul says this, he says, I came to you in weakness and timid and trembling.
00:36:34.820 And my message and my preaching to you were very plain rather than using clever speeches
00:36:41.640 or persuasive words.
00:36:43.540 I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit.
00:36:46.880 I did this so that you could trust not in human wisdom, but in the power of God.
00:36:55.140 There is a fear of not telling truth because you want to be kind or affirming because you
00:37:02.780 have pride in your image, which is idolatry.
00:37:05.900 You're fearing what other people think about you.
00:37:08.780 And then there's also the other end of being obsessed with hard truths and weaponizing it
00:37:14.060 to where there's an abuse there, which is also pride.
00:37:18.920 And neither of those is how we share truth and love.
00:37:21.560 The way to do that, as Paul talks about, is through the power of the Holy Spirit.
00:37:25.340 And the Holy Spirit is not a gimmick.
00:37:27.500 It's not a genie.
00:37:28.340 It's not like a quick thing.
00:37:32.180 It is a part of the Godhead of the triune God.
00:37:35.000 He's important.
00:37:35.680 He allows people to move to speak to what they need to hear.
00:37:40.820 Not everyone is going to need all of the scriptures.
00:37:43.240 The Holy Spirit will tell you, be quiet and just listen to their story.
00:37:46.880 The Holy Spirit will tell you, hey, I'm going to give you a word of knowledge and I'm going
00:37:51.000 to tell you some facts about them to bring up so that we can talk about a conversation.
00:37:55.160 The Holy Spirit is going to tell you what to do because we are not the Savior and we
00:38:00.620 do not convict.
00:38:02.160 Only the Holy Spirit, only Jesus Christ is able to do that.
00:38:05.620 And I say this to say, and I'm so passionate about it, because when we read scripture and when
00:38:11.560 we look at our lives, we have to remember that we were once an enemy of the Lord.
00:38:16.020 So whether you feel like, oh, I don't want to speak to offend or whether you feel like
00:38:20.540 I need to get this out and you're trying to hammer stuff, it's because you have forgotten
00:38:24.660 that you were once an enemy of the Lord.
00:38:26.820 What the Lord gives me to speak or not to say, I do it through his love and his obedience
00:38:32.220 and knowing that, wow, like I'm only here because of you.
00:38:36.880 So we have to do away with pride and do away with idolatry.
00:38:41.020 In the Bible, it says Mary Magdalene, the woman with, you know, the seven demons in her.
00:38:46.720 It doesn't say the woman with the seven demons, it says Mary Magdalene.
00:38:50.120 We have to get off our couches and go up to people and talk about and ask them their name.
00:38:55.680 They have a name because yes, they were born in sin and they were born in this fallen world,
00:39:00.420 but they are made in the image of God.
00:39:03.500 Jesus loves Mary.
00:39:05.860 She was there at the resurrection.
00:39:08.240 He knows her name.
00:39:10.100 The Lord does not get pleasure in being quiet or wanting to offend people in that way or hammer
00:39:16.820 things down in that way.
00:39:18.440 He doesn't get pleasure out of that.
00:39:20.680 It says in scripture that it's the kindness of the Lord that leads one to repentance.
00:39:25.660 So the only thing that we have to do is allow the Holy Spirit to move and tell us what to say
00:39:30.280 and we say it and then that's it.
00:39:32.160 Whether the person receives it or not, it doesn't matter.
00:39:34.840 But I've been putting myself in more positions to just hearing people and seeing the image
00:39:40.140 of God even past whatever they're going through.
00:39:43.000 And we need to be a church.
00:39:44.720 If we're supposed to welcome these people, we want people to get truly saved.
00:39:48.560 We need to do the work of sharing the gospel and having people be saved by going out to
00:39:53.780 them and being inviting to the church when they come in, because it's not going to be about
00:39:57.900 their exterior or appearance, it's going to be about their heart.
00:40:00.960 And we have to minister the truth to their hearts through the power of the Holy Spirit.
00:40:05.200 That's it, Allie.
00:40:06.180 If you want to get better at whatever you need to say, you need to lean and yield to
00:40:10.660 the Holy Spirit, period.
00:40:12.840 Amen.
00:40:13.200 You know, so much of what you say reminds me of, you know, what Christopher Yuan, who
00:40:18.880 has not the same testimony, but a similar testimony of coming out of homosexuality and
00:40:24.360 just being separated, as you said, an enemy of God, as we all once were in the passions
00:40:30.240 of our flesh.
00:40:31.240 We were by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind.
00:40:34.100 That's Ephesians 2.
00:40:35.080 You're absolutely right.
00:40:35.920 We were all that.
00:40:36.740 But his testimony is similar to yours in the sexuality aspect.
00:40:40.780 And I just remember my mind kind of being blown by what he said in his first book, just about
00:40:47.040 how your sexuality and your sexual desires are not, contrary to what the world says, who
00:40:54.040 you are.
00:40:54.880 Absolutely.
00:40:55.460 This is not your identity.
00:40:56.580 You mentioned something earlier about how the first thing that you were repenting of,
00:41:00.820 or the primary thing that you were repenting of, wasn't your sexuality, was actually your
00:41:05.200 unbelief.
00:41:06.060 Yes.
00:41:06.420 And you were becoming a believer in Christ, and through that process, he delivered you
00:41:12.340 from sin.
00:41:13.200 Yeah.
00:41:13.520 He saved you.
00:41:14.400 He sanctified you.
00:41:15.300 I think that's so important for people to understand.
00:41:18.340 Yeah.
00:41:18.920 And free, no matter what your sexual inclinations are, or your thoughts about your identity,
00:41:25.520 or how you present your gender.
00:41:27.520 The important thing is that those things and how you feel, your confusion, your desires,
00:41:34.560 your lust, they are not who you are.
00:41:37.560 Yeah.
00:41:37.740 The only person who can define you is the God who made you.
00:41:40.840 Yes.
00:41:41.380 And it's actually such like a freeing thing.
00:41:43.860 It is.
00:41:44.300 That we don't have to self-identify, that when we become new creations, we just become co-heirs
00:41:50.200 with Christ, and that's our new title.
00:41:52.040 Yeah.
00:41:52.220 That's it.
00:41:52.760 I said that with my pastor.
00:41:53.880 I was like, being outside of the will of God and trying to divine yourself is so exhausting.
00:41:59.520 Yeah.
00:42:00.260 Right.
00:42:00.820 Because it's always new.
00:42:02.120 Yeah.
00:42:02.320 Like when I was growing up, it was, you know, how the LGBTQ in the community is right now
00:42:07.740 was, it's way crazier than it was growing up.
00:42:11.360 And then we hear about LGBTQ, and now we're adding letters to it.
00:42:15.040 I'm like, what are all these letters?
00:42:16.560 And then there's just a plus sign.
00:42:17.700 And then I looked at the flag, and I was like, why is, there's all these different colors,
00:42:21.580 and there's a circle.
00:42:22.340 What does this mean?
00:42:23.020 What does that mean?
00:42:24.160 And so it's just like this never-ending sort of definition.
00:42:28.160 But when we come to Christ, the Lord defines us with a period.
00:42:31.520 He says, this is my son.
00:42:32.760 That's it.
00:42:34.000 That's so freeing that I don't have to define myself, and it's so freeing to know that I
00:42:39.580 am loved and that I don't have to earn love by what I'm doing or even through sexual inclinations.
00:42:47.680 Like that doesn't define me.
00:42:49.060 I'm defined and I'm already loved as I am.
00:42:53.480 And there's, a friend of mine says this, there's no other man that can love me the way that the
00:42:58.680 Lord loves me.
00:42:59.940 Because are you going to die for me?
00:43:01.320 The answer is no.
00:43:02.740 Yeah.
00:43:03.640 Dying for someone that you hate, that's love.
00:43:06.780 Yeah.
00:43:07.560 Or dying for someone who hates you.
00:43:09.980 Right.
00:43:10.240 Dying for someone who is an enemy, someone who spat at you, which again, we all once
00:43:17.740 were.
00:43:18.180 And the Bible even says that for maybe, for a righteous person, one would surely die.
00:43:22.800 But Christ showed his love for us in this, that while we were still sinners, he died for
00:43:28.800 us.
00:43:29.100 Absolutely.
00:43:29.480 That's the amazing thing.
00:43:30.720 Yeah.
00:43:31.160 As yet we were undeserving, and not only undeserving, but didn't even want or realize that we needed
00:43:37.260 salvation.
00:43:38.160 Yeah.
00:43:38.580 Christ died for us.
00:43:40.060 And no one, even if someone would sacrifice himself for, on our behalf, because people
00:43:46.460 do that, but nothing is comparable to God sacrificing himself on our behalf.
00:43:54.240 It doesn't compare.
00:43:55.340 Yeah.
00:43:55.600 The Bible says in Hebrews, I read this this morning, he was innocent.
00:43:58.720 He was perfect.
00:44:00.180 And he is now our great high priest who is interceding for us.
00:44:04.180 That's like, no other man is going to do that.
00:44:07.260 Yeah.
00:44:10.060 So last sponsor for the day is My Patriot Supply.
00:44:14.700 If you don't have an emergency food kit, you need to go ahead and get one.
00:44:18.260 Hopefully you will never need it, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
00:44:21.520 The great thing about My Patriot Supply is that their emergency food kits last up to 25
00:44:27.220 years in storage.
00:44:28.680 And so anytime from now until then, if something happens to the supply chain, who knows what
00:44:34.000 kind of catastrophe could go on, you will have an emergency food supply kit that you
00:44:39.760 can rely on.
00:44:40.980 You'll want to get one for every member of your family.
00:44:44.020 These are like 2000 calorie a day meals that are really, really good and nourishing.
00:44:49.140 Get a four week emergency food supply kit.
00:44:52.000 That's what I recommend.
00:44:53.020 You can get $50 off.
00:44:54.960 If you go to preparewithallie.com, that's preparewithallie.com.
00:45:00.280 You know, you talked about before we started rolling, you said that you had listened to
00:45:08.620 the conversation between Christopher Yuan and me.
00:45:13.020 And you said that you had, after I reacted to one of your awesome videos, you were like,
00:45:19.100 like, were you already familiar with Relatable before that?
00:45:23.780 By that time, yeah.
00:45:24.800 So 2023 was like a year of like early sanctification and we're all still being sanctified until we
00:45:30.520 get our glorified bodies.
00:45:31.700 Thank the Lord because the earth is ghetto.
00:45:34.040 But I was doing so much of a deep dive of just getting constant testimonies too, because
00:45:41.000 I think another fear or another lie that we see is like, oh, you can't be free of this
00:45:45.900 and there's no testimonies.
00:45:47.220 So your channel was just really awesome.
00:45:49.380 And, you know, I saw Ross Johnston, I saw Christopher, Dr. Christopher Yuan, Dr. Rosario on here
00:45:55.300 and just like learning so much.
00:45:57.160 I also know Beckett Cook.
00:45:58.740 He has been instrumental.
00:46:00.600 And Jackie, you know, just different testimonies.
00:46:02.880 Jackie, Angel, Cologne, people in Rainbow Revival, just hearing testimonies.
00:46:07.860 And your channel was a big part of that.
00:46:10.160 So by that time, yeah, I got all of that in, you know?
00:46:13.280 Well, it's their stories and their courage.
00:46:15.960 And I love all of the people that you mentioned.
00:46:18.660 And that's why I love having conversations like this because, okay, you listen to Christopher
00:46:23.720 Yuan, which I think one of my very first episodes was my first conversation with him.
00:46:28.720 And then I've had him on since then.
00:46:30.440 But now you are, it just, I love how the Lord works.
00:46:34.480 You listen to their episodes and they encouraged you and now you're here and God is going to
00:46:40.220 use you and your testimony to encourage someone else.
00:46:42.780 And you, I know you already know this, but it's good for me to remind myself too, like
00:46:48.160 you don't, you will not know everything that your testimony does until you get to glory
00:46:54.980 and God and his grace will reveal the constellation of lives that have been impacted by your courage.
00:47:01.680 And that is the hope that we have, even amidst the mean comments and the pushback and the
00:47:08.280 lies.
00:47:08.660 And I know you're a strong person, so you don't need to hear it from me, but you know,
00:47:13.080 it's good for us to all remember that, that that's what matters, that God right now puts,
00:47:18.660 is putting together the solar system of people's testimonies that all somehow in his providence
00:47:25.060 work together for his glory and our good, even as the chaos of the world roars, even
00:47:31.040 when sometimes it seems like the devil is winning.
00:47:33.740 I like to say that God's eternal plan of redemption is always going off without a hitch.
00:47:37.980 Since Genesis.
00:47:39.040 And since Genesis.
00:47:40.220 And by his grace, he uses, you know, he uses his believers.
00:47:44.380 He uses the simple obedience of believers to accomplish that purpose.
00:47:49.860 So thank you for playing your part in that.
00:47:53.160 But is there anything else that you would like to share?
00:47:55.920 I mean, I was just going to say, like, I'm, I'm just honored to be here and I'm honored,
00:48:00.120 you know, that the Lord has, he's literally placed me here.
00:48:04.400 Like I, this was not a part of my bingo card.
00:48:07.020 I'm just here from the Lord.
00:48:09.060 And I know you, you know, talked about, I can come off strong, but I'm strong because,
00:48:13.420 you know, I boast about my weakness in Christ.
00:48:16.100 Like I am nothing.
00:48:17.780 Like the only good thing about me is because of Jesus Christ.
00:48:21.120 He makes me good.
00:48:22.280 I'm still a sinner, just like everyone else.
00:48:24.460 But, you know, now I'm a saint because I have Jesus with me.
00:48:28.100 I'm made holy and righteous with him.
00:48:30.640 And testimonies are powerful.
00:48:32.400 It's the spirit of prophecy.
00:48:34.140 So, you know, if the Lord can do it for Dr. Christopher Yuan, he did it for me and he's
00:48:38.980 going to do it again, you know?
00:48:40.540 And I just want to encourage anyone who's listening.
00:48:43.320 Like I said earlier, seek Jesus.
00:48:45.740 When we read scripture, he says, I will give you a new heart.
00:48:50.700 He said, I will renew a right spirit in you.
00:48:54.340 He doesn't say behavior modifications.
00:48:56.460 He doesn't say try to like be masculine or feminine, whoever you are, or try to like leap
00:49:02.460 into maybe marriage or some kind of relationship.
00:49:05.920 Seek the Lord and the Lord will transform you inside and out.
00:49:10.280 Because the Lord is not interested in behavior modifications.
00:49:13.720 He's not interested in your works.
00:49:16.300 He's just interested in you opening your hand.
00:49:19.280 And he's interested in holding it and saying, I love you.
00:49:23.000 You are my son and my daughter.
00:49:24.300 And your behavior does necessarily modify when you start to follow Christ.
00:49:31.520 But to your point, that's not what saves you.
00:49:34.700 He's not saying change these things before you come to me.
00:49:38.140 Just come to him.
00:49:39.020 Yeah.
00:49:39.340 It's the, you know, it's the prodigal son walking back home, probably stinking with the,
00:49:45.940 you know, the slop and poop of pigs.
00:49:48.300 And his father sees him from far away and he starts running to him.
00:49:53.460 And he, the son didn't clean himself up.
00:49:56.140 He did.
00:49:56.500 He couldn't do anything.
00:49:57.600 That is who we are to the Lord.
00:49:59.780 We are dead in our sin.
00:50:02.640 Absolutely.
00:50:03.280 And a dead person can't earn anything.
00:50:05.300 Right.
00:50:05.540 A dead person can't work for their salvation.
00:50:08.000 They stink and they're helpless.
00:50:10.120 And it is by grace through faith that we are made alive in Christ.
00:50:14.320 And so thank you.
00:50:15.540 Yeah.
00:50:15.740 You get washed through the blood of the lamb and you get conformed to his image as you
00:50:19.420 continue to grow in him.
00:50:20.600 And, and things will start to shift inside and out slowly, but surely.
00:50:24.760 Yes.
00:50:25.220 And amen.
00:50:25.860 Well, thank you so much, Richard.
00:50:27.280 I appreciate your boldness and thanks for coming on Relatable.
00:50:30.080 Yes.
00:50:30.460 Thank you so much for having me.
00:50:32.080 Thank you.
00:50:32.600 Thank you.
00:50:38.600 Thank you.
00:50:39.540 Thank you.
00:50:43.060 Thank you.