Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1140 ｜ What Christian Men Look For in a Woman ｜ Guest： Timothy Stuckey (Chief Relatabro)

00:00:00.600 Today, we have a very special Valentine's Day episode with my husband, Chief Relatable.

00:00:06.900 We are answering your relationship questions and so much more.

00:00:11.420 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.

00:00:13.740 Go to goodranchers.com, code Allie.

00:00:15.840 That's goodranchers.com, code Allie.

00:00:27.120 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.

00:00:29.080 Happy Thursday and happy almost Valentine's Day to celebrate the Day of Love.

00:00:36.160 I am hosting my love, Chief Relatable, on the show today, Timothy.

00:00:42.680 Those of you who have been following the show for a long time, you will recognize him.

00:00:47.340 And you may even remember the episode that we did together five years ago.

00:00:52.820 I believe it was five years ago when I was pregnant with our oldest.

00:00:56.900 And we haven't been on together since then, but he's a big part of the show.

00:01:03.880 And I know that you all have been excited about this.

00:01:05.800 So welcome, CR.

00:01:07.300 Yeah, thanks.

00:01:08.000 Thanks for having me.

00:01:08.800 My first time on this couch.

00:01:10.240 It's great.

00:01:11.360 Yeah.

00:01:11.500 Love the studio.

00:01:12.420 Love the setup.

00:01:13.380 So it'll be fun.

00:01:14.100 Thanks.

00:01:14.960 Okay.

00:01:15.540 We have questions to answer, but we will kind of start with just sharing our story and how

00:01:22.600 we met.

00:01:23.380 And some of you probably already know the story, but a lot of you out there don't.

00:01:28.080 So do you want to start with where we first met?

00:01:31.040 Sure.

00:01:31.380 Sure.

00:01:31.620 I can start.

00:01:32.220 So a little background, we were living in Athens, Georgia at the time.

00:01:37.940 As has been documented, we didn't go to the same college.

00:01:40.980 I went to the University of Georgia, but we were both in Athens after school and it was

00:01:46.660 a great place to live, but it's kind of odd that you would both be after graduation from

00:01:52.620 college, living in a college town and having not gone to the same school and then you would

00:01:58.280 meet your spouse.

00:01:59.580 And so we were, we were working out at the gym that we were both going to at the time

00:02:03.840 and it was, it was just great just to see her and to kind of, we hit it off right away

00:02:11.220 and started talking and one thing led to another, led to dating and, and then to here we are

00:02:16.020 now, it's kind of the beginning of it.

00:02:17.780 There's more details within there, but yeah, a little bit of the story.

00:02:21.000 We were, um, it, what you're saying is it's unique because a lot of people who are living

00:02:27.820 in Athens are either like students, they're like grad students.

00:02:30.940 There's just not a lot of people like working professionally in the college town, but we

00:02:34.920 were both working and we met at, it wasn't like an LA fitness type gym.

00:02:39.080 Not that there's anything wrong with meeting at that kind of gym, but it was a gym that

00:02:42.700 had classes and it was kind of like a CrossFit type gym.

00:02:46.400 And so we started taking the same classes.

00:02:48.260 I think we noticed each other.

00:02:49.680 We just started chatting, chatting in class, but then we started chatting after class in the

00:02:55.280 parking lot, we just like stand in the parking lot outside of each other's cars.

00:02:59.540 And then one night we were talking and talking.

00:03:03.580 We like, we weren't texting or anything outside of this, weren't going on dates.

00:03:07.340 We just started talking and we were talking longer and longer.

00:03:10.520 And one night it was what?

00:03:11.560 Like, it was like four hours.

00:03:12.620 And I think after that time I was like, okay, this has been four hours.

00:03:15.600 We should go on a date.

00:03:16.620 And so that's whenever I got your phone number and it was like, we're going to set up a date.

00:03:20.980 And so after that we did, we started going on official dates after that.

00:03:25.480 And yeah, it just, it just went from there.

00:03:28.240 Yeah.

00:03:28.620 And I actually knew before we even went on our date, I think it was the night that we talked

00:03:34.920 from like 6 PM when class was over to 10, just like standing outside of my car.

00:03:40.840 Who even knows everything we were talking about, but I left a voicemail, I think for my friend

00:03:47.220 who's also named Allie and I said, I know the man that I'm going to marry.

00:03:53.600 And she thought that I was crazy at the time because we weren't even dating yet, but I just,

00:03:59.020 I just knew.

00:04:00.580 Yeah.

00:04:01.100 And that's a question that we have is like, how do you know that the person is the one?

00:04:07.360 Like, how did you know that I was the one?

00:04:09.240 So what would you say to that?

00:04:10.360 Well, a couple of things and going back on your story there, I mean, there's a few things

00:04:13.080 to highlight what our conversations were.

00:04:14.780 I remember the conversations, they were, they were good and they were interesting, but

00:04:19.340 it was a lot along the lines of like, what type of books do you like?

00:04:22.600 What type of things are interesting to you?

00:04:25.360 What kind of gets you going in your brain?

00:04:27.580 And those are the things that kind of just sparks in your mind and in your heart.

00:04:32.320 Like this person's different.

00:04:33.640 This person is someone that I want to be with and want to spend more and more time with.

00:04:37.440 And so the fact that those conversations weren't just surface level, they were, you know,

00:04:41.380 for lack of a better word, deep, you know, they were, they were good conversations.

00:04:44.780 And I remember also there were fun, like trying to get you to like some music that I was into

00:04:49.920 and might've swung and missed, you know, some of those songs you probably didn't think were

00:04:53.740 as cool as I thought they were.

00:04:54.860 But like, you know, we had a good time being around each other and just talking about things

00:05:00.840 that interest us.

00:05:01.600 And fortunately, a lot of our interests aligned.

00:05:05.000 A lot of our background aligned.

00:05:06.520 How we were raised was aligned.

00:05:07.940 And, and I think just when you know, you know, it is kind of a trite saying, but it is true. 0.62

00:05:15.440 When you have so many things lined up, you don't need to overthink it.

00:05:19.120 It's like, this person makes me happy.

00:05:21.000 I am attracted to them.

00:05:22.660 And I just know that the way things are going is different than, you know, any person that

00:05:27.440 I've ever talked to in the past.

00:05:28.840 And, uh, it was very clear with you, clear and obvious.

00:05:32.460 And then we were both in a situation where, I mean, we weren't, you know, we were just

00:05:36.940 freshly out of college.

00:05:38.080 So young still, you know, very young by a lot of the standards of the world, uh, to be thinking

00:05:43.020 about marriage.

00:05:43.440 But we were both certain that we wanted to get married.

00:05:46.340 Now, whether it was going to be to each other, we were still figuring that out because we

00:05:49.500 were dating, but, uh, it became clear quickly, but we were both ready in the sense that we

00:05:54.800 want to find our spouse.

00:05:55.940 We're not just dating for fun.

00:05:57.440 We're not just dating because this is what you do in this stage of life.

00:06:00.740 And like, let's go see, you know, what kind of fun we can have.

00:06:03.240 We were wanting to have fun, but wanting for the ultimate goal of finding your spouse.

00:06:07.160 And I think you have to pair the mindset of knowing that you are ready personally to

00:06:12.080 get married with, does this person match that?

00:06:16.100 And you really don't need to overthink it.

00:06:18.060 It's just like, this person makes me happy.

00:06:19.360 This person is a Christian.

00:06:20.280 This person, I can see their heart and their desire for the Lord.

00:06:24.340 And you just, you just go from there.

00:06:30.740 Quick pause for our first sponsor for the day.

00:06:33.000 And that is Hillsdale.

00:06:34.880 We talked about Hillsdale last week.

00:06:36.780 Their awesome response to another Christian university caving, taking back their celebration 0.83

00:06:44.380 of an, uh, alumnus who joined the Trump administration.

00:06:50.120 Hillsdale college said, nope, we are not going to retract our congratulations of this person

00:06:55.160 because Hillsdale is not woke.

00:06:57.680 Hillsdale is actually Christian.

00:06:59.420 They actually stand by their biblical values.

00:07:01.980 They're unapologetically pro-America, pro-Constitution.

00:07:05.240 And you can see that in everything they do, including their curriculum.

00:07:09.920 We know that the university system, unfortunately, even, uh, professing Christian universities that

00:07:17.980 they so often espouse far left progressive values.

00:07:22.940 And you might even be skeptical about sending your child to college at all.

00:07:28.340 But if you want to make sure that you send your kids to a college that is actually continuing

00:07:33.320 to instill in your child, the principles with which you raised them, then you need to check

00:07:39.480 out Hillsdale.

00:07:41.680 Also, they have 40 online free courses for you to take.

00:07:45.900 So this would be a really great way for you to check them out and see what they're about

00:07:49.340 and also learn something.

00:07:50.640 I love C.S. Lewis.

00:07:52.740 He's been a big part of my faith journey and they have this course that is just about C.S.

00:07:59.600 Lewis and his books.

00:08:01.160 And it's really illuminating.

00:08:03.700 They also have introduction to Aristotle's ethics, how to lead a good life.

00:08:08.720 They've got a course on the stories in the book of Genesis.

00:08:11.620 So much.

00:08:12.580 Check them out.

00:08:13.180 Go to hillsdale.edu slash relatable.

00:08:15.580 There's no cost.

00:08:16.820 It's easy to get started.

00:08:18.080 Hillsdale.edu slash relatable.

00:08:24.340 I just remember before I met Timothy, when people would say, oh, when you know, you know,

00:08:29.960 like I would talk to married couples in their 20s or I had some families who mentored me

00:08:35.060 through college.

00:08:36.100 And when I was like trying to figure out how do you know the person that you're supposed

00:08:40.300 to marry?

00:08:41.020 And they would just say that.

00:08:42.320 I heard it from so many people.

00:08:43.540 When you know, you know.

00:08:44.140 And I was like, that's so frustrating because I have like all of this on paper and I'm thinking

00:08:48.600 about this about my life and I just don't know.

00:08:51.980 But then I met Timothy and I was like, oh, oh, I get it now.

00:08:57.800 And I understand if you're listening to this and you're dating or you're single and you're

00:09:02.240 thinking, well, that is really frustrating because you're not putting anything.

00:09:06.680 You're not giving me like a tangible checklist.

00:09:08.620 Of course, Christian, strong Christian growing in their faith.

00:09:13.080 You, I think it's important to know like what their family background is, what their

00:09:16.940 friends say about them.

00:09:18.240 How do they handle different, you know, things in their life?

00:09:22.140 How do they handle adversity?

00:09:23.240 How do they handle inconvenience?

00:09:24.780 There are a lot of different things that I think that you can look at.

00:09:27.340 But at the end of the day, feelings do matter.

00:09:31.740 They're not the only thing that matters, but they do matter and they're important.

00:09:35.060 And I think that that clicking, whatever you want to call it, whether it's the Holy Spirit

00:09:39.120 discernment or whether it's just like this knowledge, this love for this attraction for

00:09:44.560 this person.

00:09:45.280 I think the combination of the checklist of, is this a righteous person walking with the

00:09:51.360 Lord and the attraction and the clicking, I think both of those things are really important.

00:09:57.800 Some people would say that the emotion, the clicking, it doesn't really matter.

00:10:02.020 But gosh, I am so thankful that I found the person that I just like click with.

00:10:07.520 And I would just personally, I would encourage people not to settle for the person that you're

00:10:12.580 thinking in the back of your mind, like, oh, they're great on paper.

00:10:15.240 Why don't I feel like this is my future spouse?

00:10:17.620 Why can't I picture myself forever with them?

00:10:20.620 My personal perspective is that you shouldn't be with that person because there's something

00:10:24.340 there that's telling you it's not right.

00:10:26.400 Do you like the person?

00:10:27.700 Do you like them?

00:10:28.380 Do you like being around them?

00:10:30.620 You don't want to force yourself to love someone.

00:10:34.360 And we were truly blessed.

00:10:36.400 We were truly blessed that we had that.

00:10:38.120 We had somebody that we both liked and loved.

00:10:40.120 And that, you know, we were ready to go.

00:10:43.360 And we knew that.

00:10:45.020 And so it is something that you do need to take seriously and that you do need to really

00:10:51.220 focus on the things that matter.

00:10:53.060 And then on the other side, do we enjoy each other?

00:10:55.600 And fortunately, we do.

00:10:57.460 Because that gets you through a lot of things.

00:10:58.840 Like marriage is hard, especially we're almost at our 10-year mark.

00:11:02.540 And, you know, you get five, six, seven years in.

00:11:05.000 Things are harder.

00:11:05.880 You might have kids in the mix as well.

00:11:07.680 Well, do you like being around the person?

00:11:10.540 Do you like them?

00:11:12.120 Really helps.

00:11:13.060 And it goes a long way.

00:11:14.400 Outside of, obviously, our covenantal marriage, like we have that, that we are with each other

00:11:20.040 no matter what.

00:11:21.000 But at the end of the day, do you like the person or not?

00:11:25.020 It really helps.

00:11:26.040 It does.

00:11:26.460 It helps a lot.

00:11:27.260 Because you will go through difficult seasons.

00:11:30.480 Like we have three kids and we love, genuinely love being parents and like spending time

00:11:36.440 with our kids.

00:11:37.760 Both of us value quality time so much.

00:11:40.100 But everyone knows those baby and toddler years are hard, especially when you're adjusting

00:11:44.520 to less sleep and more responsibility and more noise.

00:11:47.760 Like we sometimes look back and we think about the time, like right before we had kids, you

00:11:54.440 had a work schedule where you didn't have to work on Wednesdays for some reason.

00:11:58.620 And we would literally just like take our dog and walk to the neighborhood pool with like

00:12:04.180 a cooler full of sandwiches.

00:12:05.660 And we're like, what?

00:12:07.260 And we were probably stressed and probably thought we had so much going on.

00:12:10.980 Oh, yeah.

00:12:11.320 But so many, I mean, so many different seasons.

00:12:13.080 I would never wish to go back to that season, even though it was like beautiful at the time.

00:12:18.560 And we did so much like that we just loved and had fun with.

00:12:22.320 But now our lives are so much richer.

00:12:24.840 And now that we work together full time, I would say that's added another level of appreciation.

00:12:30.580 Yeah.

00:12:31.040 Wouldn't you?

00:12:31.720 Absolutely.

00:12:32.100 And it goes back to something that both of our parents have told us.

00:12:35.660 In context of having kids is to enjoy each season of life.

00:12:39.700 So enjoy each season of life that your kids are.

00:12:41.920 The newborn stage, toddler stage, and then we haven't gotten here yet.

00:12:45.080 But whenever they get older, enjoy that still.

00:12:47.300 My parents tell me, you know, we're still having fun with the fact that y'all are adults

00:12:50.840 and y'all have kids now.

00:12:52.080 This is great.

00:12:52.740 We love, you know, every season of kid, of having every season of a kid's life.

00:12:57.100 And the same goes with marriage, too.

00:12:58.320 Love every season of it.

00:12:59.620 Enjoy it.

00:13:00.200 You're going to be newlywed.

00:13:01.000 That's going to feel awesome.

00:13:02.300 And it's a great season.

00:13:03.900 And you can do fun things like walk down to your favorite restaurant at 8 p.m. on a Thursday or go to, you know, the pool in the middle of the day on a Wednesday because your job schedule is flexible that day.

00:13:17.960 Like I had whenever I had those Wednesdays off.

00:13:20.640 So those are fun things that you can do kind of carefree.

00:13:22.960 But then you have the joy of welcoming your children into the world and bringing them along for the ride, too.

00:13:28.180 And every stage of marriage is something that you can cherish.

00:13:33.040 And it's not easy.

00:13:34.480 Nothing in this life is supposed to be easy.

00:13:36.860 But we have joy in it because we have the ultimate joy in Christ.

00:13:39.940 And then we can have the joy in doing it together with each other.

00:13:43.840 And that reminds me of something else about when you know, you know.

00:13:49.640 When you're ready to get married, you don't need to overthink that either.

00:13:53.360 It's like if you were both stable, if you were both adults, if you were both in Christ, then that's a good time for you to get started and for you to get going.

00:14:00.520 You don't have to wait until you're further along in your career.

00:14:02.540 You don't have to wait until something else happens.

00:14:04.740 Do it together.

00:14:05.580 Enjoy the ride together.

00:14:06.620 And I think that's a big thing of what we did, too, is that we just kind of got started.

00:14:10.700 We weren't making a ton of money, if anything.

00:14:13.460 Like, we were just out of our first jobs and out of college.

00:14:16.700 And we took the ride together.

00:14:18.640 You would probably laugh if you knew what our salaries were.

00:14:21.800 Yeah, if you knew that.

00:14:22.740 And then also what we were living on, though.

00:14:24.200 I mean, we were basically glorified college students.

00:14:26.840 I mean, our apartment was in the middle of college students.

00:14:31.640 Lived in a triplex.

00:14:32.760 Yeah, in a triplex.

00:14:34.100 Our laundry unit was in our kitchen.

00:14:36.120 Like, I think that you're thinking our laundry room was by the kitchen.

00:14:40.660 No, our washer and dryer were right next to our refrigerator.

00:14:43.920 Yeah, stacked on top of each other.

00:14:45.180 Yeah.

00:14:45.780 And we decided that would be a good time to get a cat.

00:14:48.060 Yeah.

00:14:48.500 It was a great time.

00:14:49.580 So doing that part of life together, just taking on the challenges together, I think only made it even better.

00:14:56.400 Because now we're taking on this new challenge, this new endeavor of running our own business and raising kids.

00:15:02.860 And it's a fun ride to take.

00:15:05.700 Yeah.

00:15:05.920 Our lives have changed so much since we first got started.

00:15:11.440 Neither of us were doing the thing that we wanted to do long term.

00:15:15.040 But neither of us knew what we wanted to do long term.

00:15:18.720 I wasn't doing anything like this.

00:15:21.140 I didn't, you know, I started my blog, Conservative Millennial, in, I guess, 2015.

00:15:25.600 But that was after we got married.

00:15:27.240 So, and I had no even inkling of what it would look like.

00:15:32.720 And, you know, you didn't want to do mortgages forever.

00:15:35.440 You had no idea what that would look like.

00:15:37.360 And we just kind of like, I don't know, we just went for it.

00:15:41.440 And then when you decided to apply for jobs that moved us to a new city, I had no idea what I was going to do.

00:15:49.440 And so there were a lot of leaps of faith over the past 10 years.

00:15:54.320 Absolutely.

00:15:54.680 And I think moving out and doing what we did to take a job somewhere else, to get us into a bigger city with more opportunities was a leap of faith.

00:16:05.080 And it has worked out very well.

00:16:07.020 And during that time, I was able to work and to have that job, which was a great job and a great company for me to have at the time.

00:16:15.040 And it allowed you to be able to kind of explore, you know, what does this look like for me to make videos and to write?

00:16:22.700 I didn't even apply for jobs.

00:16:23.880 Yeah, you didn't have a job formally, you know, while we were doing that.

00:16:27.420 And that was a great season to where I could just do that and I could focus on getting, you know, all my whatever I needed to get done, whether it was licenses or continuing education or other, you know, things going.

00:16:38.320 And you were able to just figure out, you know, what this would look like.

00:16:42.400 We lived with my brother.

00:16:43.560 We lived with your brother for a little bit.

00:16:44.760 She was very generous to allow us and our cat, Rachel McAdams, who has since passed.

00:16:51.460 Yeah.

00:16:52.140 Well, we don't know.

00:16:53.320 She could be living her best life with a new family.

00:16:55.620 She ran away. 0.97

00:16:55.700 She did run away. 0.96

00:16:56.560 It's really sad.

00:16:57.260 But, yeah, we lived with my brother at the time.

00:17:00.460 So, another just like very, very different time in our lives.

00:17:04.700 And that was the time that I, through so many different just providential moments, got led to the blaze at the time.

00:17:13.600 And I was exploring that while you were working.

00:17:15.740 But, yeah, it's just hard to believe that that was what, like nine years ago we were living with my brother, no kids, still trying to figure out what we're going to do.

00:17:25.440 Yeah, absolutely.

00:17:26.220 It's been quite the journey since.

00:17:28.340 And, you know, it doesn't feel like that long ago.

00:17:30.820 It doesn't.

00:17:32.000 But at the same time, it feels like multiple lifetimes ago.

00:17:35.560 Oh, yeah.

00:17:40.100 Second sponsor for the day is Jace Medical.

00:17:42.960 If you ever get in a situation where, for whatever reason, you can't get to the medication that you need, like life-saving antibiotics, you want to make sure that you have an emergency stash that can literally save your life.

00:17:57.380 In a Jace case, you can get the most common antibiotics for the most common infections.

00:18:02.040 And you can add on to your Jace case things like Tamiflu or an EpiPen.

00:18:07.400 And all of these things can be a real game-changer if you get in some kind of health emergency.

00:18:12.920 You can also get a Jace daily case.

00:18:14.760 That's a year-long emergency stash of the prescriptions that you and your family rely on, whether it's some kind of weather calamity, another kind of natural disaster, or something happens to the supply chain, which unfortunately we've seen over the past few years.

00:18:29.500 You just want to make sure that your family is prepared and cared for in this way.

00:18:33.900 They've got a giveaway going on right now, all month long, and you can enter to win your own travel case.

00:18:44.560 And so that is a Jace case with some of those antibiotics and other things that you want to add on.

00:18:50.400 When you go to Jace.com, enter their giveaway, you can also just purchase your own case.

00:18:56.020 They are using code Allie for a discount.

00:18:58.420 That's Jace.com, code Allie.

00:19:04.360 Okay, here's a question.

00:19:06.120 I don't think it's on the list.

00:19:07.640 Okay.

00:19:08.300 But I think you and I might have differing opinions on this.

00:19:12.260 Okay.

00:19:13.200 So we dated for four months and we were engaged for five months, right?

00:19:18.840 Or was it the opposite?

00:19:19.620 I always get confused.

00:19:20.980 I know.

00:19:21.260 But I think it was...

00:19:22.700 Nine total months.

00:19:23.580 I think it was five and four.

00:19:24.540 We knew each other.

00:19:25.520 I think we first saw each other, maybe met each other in August of 2014, got married September 2015.

00:19:33.160 And so I used to always say, yeah, you know what?

00:19:37.780 When you know, you know, just go ahead and get married.

00:19:41.040 I still think that about engagement.

00:19:43.740 I don't think that people should be engaged for a long time, especially if you're Christians, 1.00

00:19:46.980 you're trying to wait till marriage.

00:19:48.180 Like, I don't think you should put yourself through that.

00:19:50.020 There's no...

00:19:50.460 You can plan a wedding in four months.

00:19:52.060 You don't need a full year to plan a wedding.

00:19:54.560 You just don't.

00:19:55.280 That's my opinion on that.

00:19:57.400 Dating.

00:19:58.140 While I do not regret how we did it as individuals, I would not go back and change that because

00:20:03.720 it worked out for us.

00:20:04.640 And we like were so ready to get engaged and get married.

00:20:07.240 However, like in principle, in principle, if I were just to give blanket advice to someone

00:20:14.240 and I don't know all of their circumstances, I think my general, general rule, okay?

00:20:20.880 And the internet does not like in principle or in general because they'll be like, but

00:20:25.040 I...

00:20:26.240 Okay.

00:20:26.560 Hear me when I say those specifications.

00:20:28.420 I would say one year.

00:20:30.240 Date.

00:20:31.240 Date for one year.

00:20:32.760 Go through all seasons of the year.

00:20:34.120 This is not novel advice.

00:20:35.240 You've probably heard this from plenty of people before, but I feel like within Christian

00:20:38.580 circles, they're like, no, two weeks is fine.

00:20:40.940 I think one year, see how they are in different circumstances.

00:20:45.480 How do they deal with inconvenience?

00:20:47.740 How do they deal with frustration, with disappointment, with rejection in different ways?

00:20:54.100 How do they go through trials?

00:20:56.560 What are their relationships like?

00:20:58.980 Um, I think that in principle, it is really good to see those different facets of a person

00:21:06.060 before you get engaged.

00:21:07.980 And I think in general, a year is probably a good timeframe for that.

00:21:12.060 What do you think?

00:21:13.220 Well, I haven't thought about it too much, but my first thought would be, um, thinking about

00:21:18.440 the people would be like, oh no, don't say in general or don't get specific.

00:21:21.260 So I'd be like, okay, well, if it's not a full year, it's probably okay.

00:21:24.600 You know, it depends on the actual circumstance of the couple.

00:21:28.220 Like, how ready are you?

00:21:29.340 Maybe you've met later in life.

00:21:30.720 Maybe you're in your mid thirties or your forties or whenever it is.

00:21:34.700 And you know, you know, and y'all are both ready to get started making a family and doing

00:21:39.820 all the things that you need to do together.

00:21:41.460 I don't know.

00:21:42.020 I wouldn't wait some arbitrarily number of, of months.

00:21:45.020 Uh, not that that's arbitrary necessarily, but I would say, you know, if you are, if you

00:21:48.500 are certain you've already, you know, you've already played the game out in your head,

00:21:52.680 you know what you need to do.

00:21:53.620 Maybe, maybe that's not the case, but yeah, sure.

00:21:55.780 If you're younger and you were, you were still trying to figure each other out, your frontal

00:22:00.880 lobe isn't even fully developed yet.

00:22:02.540 Maybe you do want to take a little bit more time and to understand this person through

00:22:06.160 different seasons and through different, different moments and how they do, uh, handle,

00:22:11.000 handle adversity in certain ways.

00:22:12.800 So I think there's going to be some wisdom in that too.

00:22:16.140 Um, so yeah, I think that could be wise.

00:22:18.580 Yeah.

00:22:19.200 Okay.

00:22:19.600 I love this question because I've said this before and I'm sure they would love to hear

00:22:23.920 what you think is the phrase, if he wanted to, he would always true when it comes to

00:22:30.840 guys and dating.

00:22:31.780 Um, again, we're talking about always and saying all these things, I can't speak to

00:22:36.560 every particular circumstance, but I do think, I know for me personally that I could not,

00:22:42.740 you know, I really, we maxed out the amount of time that I could go like not married to

00:22:46.560 you.

00:22:46.680 Like we were so excited, so ready.

00:22:49.020 And I do think I knew and I'm ready to go.

00:22:52.580 And if he's not ready to commit, then he might not want to ever commit.

00:22:55.620 So I do think there's some validity to that in a way that, you know, it's been, it's been

00:23:00.320 years you are, you know, living your life, whether it's together or whether it's, I don't

00:23:05.680 know your exact circumstance, but, uh, if he was ready to go, he would, he would be ready

00:23:10.040 to go.

00:23:10.460 Now that might not be you personally, that might be his personal situation.

00:23:13.340 Maybe he is still, you know, maybe he's trying to put together some things with starting

00:23:17.440 a business or has a certain, you know, level of his job.

00:23:20.440 Now I do think still there's some validity to just doing it together.

00:23:23.560 Uh, but maybe he is trying to line some things up to make sure that he can be the husband

00:23:26.720 and the provider for you that he needs to be.

00:23:29.600 Um, but I do think there is some validity to, if he was ready to, if he was ready to be

00:23:34.620 married to you, he would be married to you.

00:23:36.380 Yeah.

00:23:37.000 So that's the answer in like the bigger ultimate question of committing.

00:23:42.780 Like if he wanted to, he would commit, I say like, again, in general, that is true.

00:23:49.740 If he wants to be married to you, everything else can fall into place, but he knows that

00:23:55.060 you are the biggest piece to fall into place.

00:23:57.140 And he's, he knows he's got to make that happen before everything else.

00:24:00.520 Like, that's my view.

00:24:01.560 But what about the smaller things?

00:24:03.520 Like the, um, if he wanted to text you back quickly, he would.

00:24:08.760 If he wanted to show you thoughtful romance on Valentine's day, he would, I say, if he,

00:24:16.760 if he really wanted to, he would do those things.

00:24:19.280 Other people might say, well, that's not fair.

00:24:23.480 He's not thinking, you know, maybe he just wasn't thinking, or maybe she didn't lay out

00:24:28.320 her expectations enough, or maybe he's busy.

00:24:31.740 Maybe I think those are all excuses.

00:24:34.280 If he wanted to, he would.

00:24:35.640 Do you think I should give the benefit of the doubt more to, to guys who maybe aren't

00:24:41.040 measuring up in the dating game?

00:24:43.660 I do think there is some validity to that.

00:24:45.940 Like if he wanted to sweep you off your feet, then he would like, like if he really genuinely

00:24:50.020 wanted to do that, I do think he would.

00:24:51.860 I mean, I was very thoughtful in the things, or I think I was thoughtful.

00:24:55.560 I tried to be thoughtful because I wanted to impress you.

00:24:57.880 If he was trying to impress you, then he would, men have a way of getting the things that

00:25:01.860 they want and what they really have set their minds to.

00:25:04.820 And I do think that if you are trying to get something that you want, like if you're trying

00:25:08.880 to get a spouse, a wife, then you're kind of, you're going to go pursue it and you're

00:25:13.620 going to go do it.

00:25:14.760 And I do think that men have a unique way, a particular way of getting the things that

00:25:19.400 they want, whether it's conscious or subconscious.

00:25:22.100 So yeah, if he wanted to, now maybe his, maybe he's just not thinking correctly.

00:25:26.780 He's like, oh, this is what she actually wants.

00:25:28.920 She wants me to be kind of, you know, wait, play hard to get and all this stuff.

00:25:32.120 Then I do think you've kind of been worked by the culture.

00:25:34.060 I think women want to be pursued and go do it, man. 1.00

00:25:37.900 And you should also, as a woman, like be pursuable. 0.94

00:25:41.580 I do think, and this kind of leads to another question.

00:25:45.880 I think there is, even in today's girl boss culture, and obviously I am a like strong

00:25:52.340 opinionated person.

00:25:53.280 And yeah, I would say, you can tell me from a guy's perspective, that there is a softness

00:25:58.780 that men are looking for in the girls they want to marry.

00:26:03.100 Doesn't mean that they have to be pushovers.

00:26:04.820 The girls have to be like, you know, just wallflowers or a doormat. 1.00

00:26:09.820 But they're looking for a bit of gentleness, a bit of softness, a bit of just like femininity 0.98

00:26:19.100 that there is.

00:26:21.960 I would say like, I think that like girl boss, harsh, I don't need no man, but secretly I

00:26:29.180 do want a guy to be chivalrous and pursue me.

00:26:32.400 That could possibly put guys in like a really difficult position.

00:26:35.980 He might be like physically attracted to a girl and want to pursue her, but she's put

00:26:39.260 off this persona of like, I don't need you.

00:26:42.220 That is intimidating.

00:26:43.320 And he doesn't know how to navigate.

00:26:45.520 Yeah.

00:26:46.000 And I want to be clear that I think it goes, I think there's two types that can go that

00:26:49.420 way with maybe this girl boss attitude of like, I don't need anybody. 0.99

00:26:52.400 And you're shut down that way.

00:26:53.940 There's also the timidity factor too, of like you are shut down in general.

00:26:58.200 Maybe it's not just to men, maybe it's to everyone.

00:26:59.800 Maybe you are quiet and more timid and putting off, whether you intend to or not, an attitude

00:27:05.400 that just doesn't want to be approached.

00:27:07.060 And I think now, whenever I was pursuing you, you were, that you had that feminine playfulness

00:27:14.400 almost, you know, you were like, you were open to having conversation and that would be

00:27:20.260 your personality because you're open to having conversation with anyone, whether it was

00:27:23.640 in our case, romantic or not.

00:27:26.440 But you were friendly and there is a friendliness of, you know, I think that women have in particular

00:27:33.940 that men might not.

00:27:34.860 Flirtatious.

00:27:35.240 Yeah, it's a little flirtatious, but you're friendly and you're open to having conversation

00:27:39.820 in general.

00:27:40.480 I think for a lot of people, for all people, having an openness to having conversation with

00:27:45.180 people is a good thing.

00:27:46.220 But in particular, whenever you're trying to be, you know, whether it's pursued by a man

00:27:50.340 in this particular instance, like you were, you were agreeable to having a conversation

00:27:53.880 with me.

00:27:54.460 And I think that was the first step into me being like, oh, I can now pursue her.

00:27:58.800 It doesn't mean that you were, you know, that you were taking the lead that you were trying

00:28:03.480 to get me or any of that stuff.

00:28:05.180 But you were in general open to, you know, being friendly.

00:28:08.700 Hi, how are you?

00:28:09.880 Remembered that my birthday was over the weekend.

00:28:12.240 Little things like that, that do add up to allowing a man to feel like he has the permission 0.59

00:28:20.320 to really pursue you in a full, you know, throated way.

00:28:24.620 Like I'm actually going to go and pursue this woman for an intention of dating and then potentially

00:28:29.500 marriage.

00:28:29.880 So, yeah, yeah, I do think that there is a, um, the standoffishness, um, does not play

00:28:36.100 well with wanting to be pursued.

00:28:38.060 A man doesn't want to, um, not that you're feeling rejection necessarily, but it's just,

00:28:43.960 it's, it's not something that you would want to go and pursue something that is clearly

00:28:48.140 shut off to you. 0.95

00:28:49.920 Yeah.

00:28:50.760 I, I think that's like a good point if I can, if I do say so myself about how to like show

00:28:58.060 your interest in a guy without becoming the pursuer is like when I remembered your birthday,

00:29:05.540 he had told me like, you know, just like an offhand remark, I think a couple of weeks

00:29:09.720 earlier, oh yeah, my birthday is October 19th.

00:29:12.940 I'm turning 24, blah, blah, blah.

00:29:14.960 And that was it.

00:29:16.060 And, you know, we didn't talk about it, but then the Monday after I knew it, you know,

00:29:20.360 I tracked it.

00:29:21.040 I remembered it in my mind.

00:29:22.320 And the Monday after his birthday, I said, oh, like how was going home to your family?

00:29:26.620 How was your birthday?

00:29:27.420 And he was flattered that I remembered his birthday.

00:29:30.540 And that was just like my way of saying, hey, like our conversations are important to

00:29:35.920 me.

00:29:36.300 I, they're not just something that I am, you know, doing subconsciously because I'm friendly

00:29:41.800 with everyone, but I remember remembering what you're saying because I'm interested in

00:29:45.860 you as a person.

00:29:46.940 I think little things like that open guys up to saying, oh, like, okay, this person really

00:29:53.080 like likes me.

00:29:54.200 It gives permission, like it gives permission to the man in that instance, without you being

00:29:58.160 the one that is doing the pursuing.

00:29:59.880 So it's not allowing you, you weren't the one taking now the lead role there, but you

00:30:03.760 were giving me permission basically to, to enter into that.

00:30:07.120 Cause now I'm seeing, oh, what I say has weight, what I say, you know, she hears and she responds

00:30:14.220 well to.

00:30:14.760 Um, and so now I can go and continue to try to have more conversations.

00:30:18.500 I think there was a question basically of like, is it okay for a woman to pursue a man?

00:30:23.160 And I think what we're answering here and what I'm answering is, is it depends on what

00:30:27.580 your idea of pursuit is.

00:30:29.260 Like you weren't pursuing me in that instance, but you were open to giving me hints that I

00:30:34.500 picked up subconsciously and consciously.

00:30:36.640 Okay.

00:30:37.040 Now I have permission basically to go and try to do this.

00:30:40.560 Not that, you know, it's more of like, there's a confidence to a man that now this is going

00:30:46.320 to potentially go somewhere and now I'm going to go do that.

00:30:49.680 And so it's not you taking the lead and trying to get me.

00:30:53.980 It is me now.

00:30:55.240 I'm still trying to, to pursue you.

00:30:57.680 Uh, I just know that it's working.

00:30:58.900 And so I think there are certain ways that you can let a man know that things are working

00:31:03.320 and for him to keep going without, without being the one that's pursuing and without,

00:31:07.060 you know, hitting him upside the head and being like, Hey dummy, come ask me out. 0.51

00:31:10.440 Yeah. 0.97

00:31:11.620 Um, and if you have to do that, if you have to say, Hey dummy, come ask me out.

00:31:15.100 He's probably not there.

00:31:16.040 Not the one, not the one.

00:31:21.600 All right.

00:31:22.240 I get to do my first ad read.

00:31:24.060 Uh, and our next sponsor is WeHeart Nutrition.

00:31:26.540 Absolute best place to get women's vitamins and now men's vitamins as well, uh, for all

00:31:32.480 ages.

00:31:33.060 And so the owners are Jacob and Kristen, a pro-life couple with five kids.

00:31:36.580 They share the same values as you and me and they donate 10% of every purchase you make

00:31:40.700 with them to pregnancy care centers. 0.59

00:31:43.140 So I have been taking their new men's vitamins.

00:31:46.500 I have their multivitamin for men.

00:31:48.460 I have their magnesium glycinate and I think that they are great.

00:31:52.620 So I have been, uh, I've used supplements for quite some time now.

00:31:57.300 Uh, and then whenever I started taking WeHeart Nutrition, I could tell just a difference that

00:32:01.440 these things are, uh, they're getting me what I need.

00:32:04.860 Like I'm feeling a little bit more energy.

00:32:06.480 I'm feeling a little bit more, uh, pepping my step some, and it really gets me the, uh,

00:32:13.300 support I need.

00:32:14.280 So I miss sometimes getting every, you know, micronutrient, whether that's through, you

00:32:18.680 know, not eating enough vegetables or fruits or otherwise.

00:32:21.600 So I like having a multivitamin, a multivitamin, make sure that I get all those bases covered.

00:32:26.580 Uh, and then magnesium as well.

00:32:28.420 Magnesium has so many health benefits and I like the glycinate form because it is a little

00:32:32.660 bit better on the absorption.

00:32:34.440 It doesn't hurt your stomach and it's a little bit easier on you.

00:32:38.540 So magnesium glycinate and the multivitamin have been very great for me.

00:32:43.420 I also have an omega supplement as well, omega-3, which has a good proportion of both, uh, types

00:32:49.100 of fatty acids that you need when it comes to the omega-3s.

00:32:52.040 So been great supplements for me.

00:32:53.660 I very much enjoyed them.

00:32:55.220 All their products also come with a 60 day happy heart guarantee.

00:32:58.620 So if for any reason you don't love the products, you can return them even if the bottle is

00:33:03.160 empty.

00:33:03.780 Uh, and right now with your very first order placed at $50 or more, you will receive their

00:33:08.180 signature bamboo capsule bottle, uh, box for free.

00:33:11.140 It's beautiful.

00:33:12.040 It makes remembering to take your vitamins easy.

00:33:14.420 It's easy to travel with and that's what we do throw the, the travel box in the bag and

00:33:19.460 then you have all your supplements ready for you to go.

00:33:22.000 So if you're not sure exactly what you need, they do have a 20 second quiz on their site

00:33:25.480 where you can get personalized recommendations.

00:33:27.480 Head on over to their website, weheartnutrition.com and use code Allie for 20% off your order.

00:33:33.520 That's weheartnutrition.com code Allie.

00:33:36.260 Okay.

00:33:41.100 Uh, who has the bigger sweet tooth between the two of you? 1.00

00:33:45.000 Me or you?

00:33:45.940 Hmm.

00:33:47.600 It's me.

00:33:48.460 Yeah.

00:33:48.660 It's you.

00:33:49.200 I was going to say like who needs sweets like in more frequently, but like me, yeah, it is

00:33:54.300 you.

00:33:54.580 I think I could eat more sweets at one time than you, but doubt, but yeah, you probably

00:33:59.440 have the, I don't believe that.

00:34:00.640 No, you're more of like, you want to snack on chips, chips and salsa and more.

00:34:05.260 And then get in like a, a bad loop of like piece of chocolate chips, chocolate chips.

00:34:10.060 Hey, we don't need to talk bad about ourselves right now.

00:34:12.140 That's not what this is about.

00:34:13.740 No, but I have more of a weakness of a sweet tooth.

00:34:17.040 I get it honest.

00:34:18.040 I literally have it passed down to me from my grandmother who was appalled.

00:34:22.780 My mom always tells the story that she was appalled when my mom told her that my brother

00:34:27.160 at two years old had never had M&Ms.

00:34:29.280 She thought she probably wanted to call CPS.

00:34:31.760 Like this is key to a person's diet.

00:34:35.560 So sweet tooth, get it from my grandma and my dad.

00:34:38.580 And I've also passed it down to my children.

00:34:41.680 So I have the bigger sweet tooth.

00:34:44.980 Let's see.

00:34:47.320 I'm trying to find another like shorter, shorter question.

00:34:52.900 Um, what books are you reading right now besides Toxic Empathy, which you just always have

00:35:00.080 on the loop?

00:35:00.540 It's always playing in the background.

00:35:01.720 Yeah.

00:35:01.960 Um, one book that you got me, uh, I believe it was, it was like Christmas or no, I just

00:35:08.420 asked you to pick up a book at Barnes and Noble because you were there with one of our kids.

00:35:11.380 He said, pick up a book that looks interesting to me.

00:35:13.360 And you picked up Shelby Foote's first, the first, uh, book in his little civil war anthology

00:35:18.120 and it is good.

00:35:20.440 Now I've taken a little pause for a few weeks on it, but I did, I have read a pretty good

00:35:26.180 chunk into that and it's interesting.

00:35:28.600 You know, I'm at that age that every man gets where you start, you know, reading about

00:35:33.240 some war, whether it's the civil Vietnam, World War II.

00:35:37.400 Right now it's the civil war for me.

00:35:39.040 Yeah.

00:35:39.600 You really like war books.

00:35:41.220 Yeah.

00:35:41.840 Um, okay.

00:35:43.280 What has Ali done?

00:35:45.800 I promise I did not write these questions.

00:35:47.960 What has Ali done that you're most proud of?

00:35:51.040 There's a lot of questions about me in here, just as a heads up.

00:35:54.820 Share the arrows for sure.

00:35:56.520 Um, I was proud of that whenever we were booking the venue and walking out on stage and I was

00:36:03.580 just besides giving birth, by the way.

00:36:05.540 Oh yeah.

00:36:05.840 Yeah.

00:36:06.020 The question was specific besides birth and marriage.

00:36:08.040 Yeah.

00:36:08.360 Um, yeah.

00:36:10.320 So walking out on stage whenever it was empty, uh, we were just touring the venue spot and

00:36:15.080 I was just thinking about it being full.

00:36:18.120 Um, so that, uh, made me very proud being able to walk out on that stage, see, you know,

00:36:23.620 audience full of women that were all there live. 1.00

00:36:25.960 It was one thing I know you get a ton of viewers and listeners and very proud of the

00:36:30.280 show too, but to see it all live that people come physically to, to gather, uh, that was

00:36:37.100 what I've been most proud of is share the arrows and can't wait for this year.

00:36:41.020 Yeah.

00:36:41.480 Me too.

00:36:43.100 Um, what is it like having, this says, I don't like using this word, but this says famous,

00:36:50.500 famous wife. 1.00

00:36:51.240 Okay.

00:36:51.720 What is it like having a wife that has a podcast?

00:36:55.700 I'll say that.

00:36:56.660 Yeah.

00:36:56.820 And that gets recognized whenever we go out sometimes.

00:36:58.960 So I would say it is, you get really good at, uh, taking pictures.

00:37:04.480 At least I think I'm decent at it now because I've had so much practice.

00:37:07.300 So, you know, just letting people line up and it's always really nice whenever people

00:37:11.860 say, Oh no, like, do you mind?

00:37:14.060 It's like, this is what I'm here for.

00:37:15.320 Like I'm ready to take this picture.

00:37:17.000 Sometimes they want to take a picture with you.

00:37:18.900 Sometimes.

00:37:19.340 Remember that time that you were traveling by yourself without me and someone recognized

00:37:22.640 you as chief related bro and asked to take a picture with you.

00:37:25.400 I do remember that time and I don't think I took the picture and I'm sorry to that person.

00:37:30.840 Uh, I think going back, maybe I would change the, and maybe take the picture, but I was

00:37:34.980 off from a work trip.

00:37:36.140 It was late at night.

00:37:36.780 My flight had been delayed and I was ready to get home and I'm sorry.

00:37:39.920 I should have taken the picture.

00:37:41.060 Yeah.

00:37:41.560 People ask a lot.

00:37:42.640 Do people recognize you?

00:37:44.160 And it's not like, obviously it's not like everywhere I go, I get swarmed with people.

00:37:48.440 It's not that, but I would say I multiple times a week.

00:37:53.000 Yes.

00:37:53.260 But it depends on where I am.

00:37:54.400 If I'm in an area that's obviously a more conservative area, it happens a lot.

00:37:58.360 Yeah.

00:37:58.520 If I'm in.

00:37:59.160 Like you said the other day on your show about the Nate Bragazzi show, like that was, that

00:38:03.120 was a lot of people.

00:38:03.880 That was a lot.

00:38:04.360 I felt like I was like the opener and that there were people lined up to, to see me and

00:38:09.760 that was fun.

00:38:10.880 Um, but yeah, if obviously if I'm like in New York city, it doesn't happen as much.

00:38:15.860 Uh, what advice do you have for girl dads?

00:38:19.660 Oh, it's to enjoy it.

00:38:21.220 I mean, girls are so sweet and they are so cute and whenever they want to dress up, just 1.00

00:38:27.320 dress them up, like get a bunch of princess dresses and a bunch of costume jewelry and

00:38:31.960 just, and a bunch of fake makeup and a bunch of fake makeup and just let them go and have 1.00

00:38:35.540 your wife, you know, like doll them up in the makeup and all that. 1.00

00:38:39.640 And then you just go out and tell them how beautiful they are.

00:38:43.780 And it is really sweet.

00:38:45.020 Whenever they always want me, especially our middle, she just loves me putting makeup on

00:38:50.000 her.

00:38:50.140 And so I'll put makeup on them.

00:38:52.500 And the first person they want to see them is daddy.

00:38:55.800 Where's daddy?

00:38:57.460 Where's daddy?

00:38:58.560 And they just want to show, they just like want to, want to show daddy that they're in

00:39:02.540 a princess dress and they walk out all bashful.

00:39:05.300 I mean, it really is.

00:39:06.060 It sounds like a caricature of what it's like having like girls, but that is what our life

00:39:09.920 is like.

00:39:10.380 It is.

00:39:10.700 So just enjoy that, uh, get really good at just compliments, um, in ways that a three

00:39:16.700 year old can understand that you're just so impressed.

00:39:20.280 Um, that would be my, my first advice is that, uh, they're going to be just beautiful little

00:39:25.500 princesses.

00:39:26.300 Yeah.

00:39:26.680 We have, and you know, we have a lot of nephews and genuinely all of our nieces and nephews

00:39:33.180 are just like great kids and just like their parents are awesome and they're just all great

00:39:39.840 kids and I just love them all.

00:39:41.460 Um, you know, our nephews are like, you know, they're boys, they're more rambunctious.

00:39:46.200 They play totally differently.

00:39:47.740 And when I'm around my nephews, I'm like, wow, this is really different.

00:39:52.520 The noise level, the smell, the everything, everything is so different than having girls. 1.00

00:39:59.400 And like, there's so many like pros for both and so much different kinds of fun for both.

00:40:06.300 But like our house is just like a very typical girl house. 1.00

00:40:09.300 And he was like, maybe one day we'll also have a boy, but like you were made to be a 0.69

00:40:13.940 girl, dad.

00:40:14.560 You're a great, great girl, dad.

00:40:16.540 Thanks.

00:40:17.780 Um, let's see.

00:40:20.540 What is your favorite memory with me besides getting married and besides the birth of our

00:40:27.540 three children?

00:40:28.060 Yeah.

00:40:29.080 I really, really look back very fondly at now it's obvious to be like, Oh, newlywed was

00:40:35.520 really great.

00:40:36.220 But like the fact that we were in, um, we were in Athens, Georgia, it's a college town

00:40:40.700 and like just living life.

00:40:43.140 Like we had responsibilities and we took them seriously, but basically like we were in college

00:40:48.360 still in a fun way of like being able to walk randomly to our favorite restaurants and to,

00:40:55.780 you know, just go to football games.

00:40:57.820 That was a really fun and sweet time and very unique.

00:41:01.560 I don't think a lot of people do get the opportunity to live in a college town as not as awesome

00:41:06.720 as Athens and to be married to, um, you know, at, to the brand new wife.

00:41:12.160 Like that's a really sweet, precious time that we had.

00:41:15.440 And, uh, I really think back fondly on that.

00:41:18.400 I think of a lot of our kind of just the travel and the, and the trips that we took.

00:41:21.780 We also took a trip to San Francisco before we had, uh, our oldest and it was actually

00:41:28.920 like when we got home, you found out you were pregnant. 0.93

00:41:32.060 Yeah.

00:41:32.480 Well, actually I was thinking of the time we went to San Francisco before that with granddaddy.

00:41:36.300 Oh yeah.

00:41:36.500 That was a lot of fun too.

00:41:37.500 Uh, you back, you used to go to San Francisco and it wasn't just like complete degeneracy

00:41:42.360 and literal, you know, human waste on the street.

00:41:46.660 Um, and so it was a great place and a great city.

00:41:49.900 And I think it was really fun to be there.

00:41:51.840 We haven't been back since 2018.

00:41:53.020 We have not.

00:41:53.740 Uh, but yeah, that trip, the trip with the grenade was good.

00:41:55.860 And the second trip also was very good, uh, just because it was, it was fun.

00:42:00.080 I remember going down to where the Giants play, uh, baseball and just walking around like

00:42:05.080 there was no game or anything going on that day,

00:42:06.960 but just kind of hanging out around, uh, around there was just a lot of, a lot of fun.

00:42:12.020 Yeah.

00:42:12.380 We did a lot of little things like that.

00:42:14.040 And like, we didn't go on any fancy trips or anything because we didn't have any money,

00:42:18.560 but yeah, just the freedom that you have.

00:42:21.980 And obviously having kids is something to look forward to and it's not something to put

00:42:25.860 off, but just know that if you're married now and you don't have kids, you have like

00:42:31.120 get as much sleep as you can do as much as you can.

00:42:34.660 It doesn't have to cost a lot of money.

00:42:35.820 You don't have to go on a trip to Europe or maybe you can afford to do that and you should.

00:42:39.120 That's awesome.

00:42:40.160 But like get those memories in, lay a really good foundation before you have kids.

00:42:45.380 Um, because it'll be a little bit not, I mean, it's not like you won't have fun.

00:42:49.320 It's not like you won't have adventures, but it'll be a little bit before you have that

00:42:52.900 freedom and flexibility again.

00:42:54.540 And they're not going to be the same trips.

00:42:55.980 They're going to be great, but you know, either your kids are going to be with you or you're

00:42:59.480 going to be thinking about them, which is great.

00:43:02.000 Um, but you're still going to be having something going on in your head, uh, about them because

00:43:07.480 you have humans that you take care of now that you love with everything in your whole body.

00:43:12.260 And so, um, yeah, enjoy it.

00:43:14.520 Yeah.

00:43:15.200 Enjoy the freedom and the flexibility while you can.

00:43:22.260 Last break to tell you about the next installment in Blaze TV host, Matt Kibbe's new documentary,

00:43:30.780 documentary series called The Cover-Up.

00:43:34.000 The Cover-Up is about the U.S. government covering up the corruption in our public health

00:43:41.300 apparatus.

00:43:42.580 You know, um, that Fauci is a part of this corruption, but you might not know how far back his corruption

00:43:50.420 goes.

00:43:51.380 And that is why Matt Kibbe is talking in this latest episode to Dr. Richard Ebright.

00:43:56.440 He is a molecular biologist from Rutgers University.

00:43:59.400 He's had Fauci on his radar since 2001 during the anthrax scare, after which Dick Cheney

00:44:05.900 empowered Fauci and the NIAID with the authority and funding for biodefense once reserved solely

00:44:13.900 for the Department of Defense.

00:44:15.500 And you probably don't even know the horrific effects that that empowerment has had over the

00:44:21.920 past couple decades.

00:44:23.480 But none of this has been a surprise to Dr. Ebright.

00:44:26.520 And what he tells Matt Kibbe is absolutely stunning.

00:44:30.820 So if you want to be a part of exposing this corruption and really making a change, you

00:44:36.900 need to subscribe to Blaze TV.

00:44:39.480 Go to FauciCoverUp.com slash Allie. 0.52

00:44:42.660 Use code SMOKINGGUN for $30 off your subscription.

00:44:45.860 You'll get access to all Blaze TV content.

00:44:49.160 FauciCoverUp.com slash Allie.

00:44:51.500 Code SMOKINGGUN.

00:44:56.520 Okay, what are your thoughts on the, so Luca, this is a real question that we got, is the

00:45:07.200 Mavs player that just got traded.

00:45:10.400 And here's one thing about me.

00:45:11.580 I don't know if y'all know this.

00:45:12.780 Timothy can say this.

00:45:14.100 I can get interested in anything.

00:45:16.540 Like Timothy wants to turn on a documentary or he's like, you know, I want to start watching

00:45:21.100 this guy on like YouTube or like, oh, let's start learning about fly fishing.

00:45:28.080 He wants to watch a UFC fight.

00:45:29.980 Like I can get, I can get into and interested in like anything.

00:45:34.520 That probably also helped my game when we were dating too.

00:45:38.780 But I was like really interested in learning about, I'm like not really a basketball fan

00:45:43.620 or really a sports fan at all.

00:45:44.900 But I knew people were super disappointed that this guy named Luca, I hear he's tall

00:45:49.120 and good at basketball.

00:45:50.700 He got traded from the Mavs and people were like, why the heck would the Mavs trade him?

00:45:56.880 So like, can you tell us what you think about that?

00:45:59.740 Because I guess the people want to know.

00:46:01.600 Okay.

00:46:01.780 Yeah, that's a great question.

00:46:03.200 And backing up a little bit too, just about, you know, being interested and all that.

00:46:08.280 You are, somebody asked like, what's one of the traits that you like the most about

00:46:11.400 Allie?

00:46:11.700 And it is genuinely like your curiosity, like you will sit down and be interested.

00:46:15.920 And I'm not the same way.

00:46:16.940 Like I might be interested in what I'm interested in, but I'm not interested in things necessarily

00:46:20.440 for the sake of being interested.

00:46:22.200 Like you are, like you will find something you don't know and just take it and be like,

00:46:25.900 this is really cool.

00:46:27.300 Whether it's like watching some dude teach you how to, you know, do exercises and meal

00:46:32.780 prep, or if it's fly fishing, like you said.

00:46:35.320 Wait, remember when I tried to learn the banjo the other night without a banjo?

00:46:40.100 Yeah, yeah.

00:46:41.040 We watched some YouTube videos on banjo.

00:46:43.240 I was like, we don't even have a banjo.

00:46:44.820 I know.

00:46:45.080 Why are we doing this?

00:46:45.540 You intervened at that point because I was trying to like air guitar the banjo and you

00:46:50.880 were like, stop it.

00:46:51.980 We don't have a banjo.

00:46:53.540 You're not going to do this right now.

00:46:55.480 Yeah.

00:46:55.760 So it's even to a fault sometimes, my interest, my errant interest.

00:46:59.540 So I do appreciate that about you and how you are interested, even in sports, even in

00:47:04.280 listening to my sports takes.

00:47:06.600 So the Luka trade, I'm not a huge NBA fan.

00:47:11.180 I like watching sports and I follow sports.

00:47:14.680 I like college basketball, but I don't really watch a ton of the NBA.

00:47:18.480 But, you know, the local team and you're trying to watch the Mavs.

00:47:23.920 It's sad.

00:47:24.680 It's sad that they traded away Luka.

00:47:26.340 Like, how do you trade away a top five player in the NBA in his prime?

00:47:30.560 Not even in his prime yet.

00:47:31.480 He's 25 years old.

00:47:32.320 He's been in the league for five years and he's made the all NBA team.

00:47:34.820 All NBA means that you're the best player at your position and you're literally one

00:47:39.020 of the five best players in the league.

00:47:40.760 And he's made that every year that he's been in the league.

00:47:42.780 And you just don't get a player like that and get rid of them.

00:47:46.400 You build your franchise around that type of player.

00:47:49.420 You don't just trade them. 0.97

00:47:50.300 And what they got back in return is ridiculous. 0.94

00:47:52.620 It's ridiculous what they got back in return. 0.95

00:47:54.200 What did they get?

00:47:54.980 They got an aging former superstar in Anthony Davis and then some other small pieces.

00:48:00.120 Is that the guy with the eyebrows?

00:48:01.800 Yeah.

00:48:02.460 The weird eyebrows?

00:48:03.060 Good job.

00:48:03.480 Yeah.

00:48:04.500 And some other small pieces and maybe a couple draft picks, but like they could have gotten

00:48:07.500 way more.

00:48:07.980 They could have gotten a king's ransom for him and they barely got, you know, anything.

00:48:11.340 And so it brings up the conspiracy theories and I'm all for your conspiracy theories.

00:48:15.840 So if you have a theory or somebody like your husband has a theory, you want to send it

00:48:19.700 our way.

00:48:20.280 Just like, I want to hear all the theories because I cannot believe that is a pure basketball

00:48:24.440 move that they got rid of Luca.

00:48:27.020 So I've heard great things.

00:48:28.740 Tell us the theory.

00:48:29.520 I've heard things about it potentially being, you know, new owners of the Mavs.

00:48:34.140 They really want to bring sports betting into Texas.

00:48:36.920 Who are they?

00:48:37.560 I believe it's the Adelsons and I believe it's from Las Vegas Sands.

00:48:41.580 If that's not the case, then please correct me or take it out.

00:48:47.100 So they are trying to bring sports betting into the state of Texas.

00:48:52.100 The legislature of Texas has fortunately kept that from happening.

00:48:57.040 And so there's some conspiracies around like maybe potential sabotage.

00:49:00.800 It's like, okay, if we sabotage the team, then maybe they will allow us to move the team

00:49:05.220 to Vegas because enough of the fans will get angry.

00:49:07.660 And then Vegas obviously has.

00:49:09.560 Move the Mavs to Vegas?

00:49:10.660 Yeah, move the Mavs to Vegas.

00:49:12.060 Oh, see, that's the missing piece that I did not realize.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, move the Mavs to Vegas and then there would be a new team that would take over for 0.98

00:49:18.500 them in Dallas.

00:49:19.320 But the team that owns the current ownership would move their team to Dallas.

00:49:22.940 Or put their thumb on the scales enough to try to get sports betting legal in Texas.

00:49:27.660 And I just, my other take, kind of my old man yells at clouds, which I don't think is

00:49:32.140 really that.

00:49:32.640 I think it's a true take on sports betting is that it's just, I don't like it.

00:49:38.460 I don't like it for a few reasons.

00:49:39.780 The morality of it, I don't like that.

00:49:41.760 Yeah, I think that it's wrong morally and against what we should be doing as Christians. 0.98

00:49:46.500 But then also I do believe as well that there's some other consequences, both for the culture

00:49:51.400 and how, you know, we're allowing this type of behavior, this allowing this type of, you

00:49:56.260 know, risky, you know, gambling or whatever to take place.

00:49:59.120 You have families being destroyed because of it and because you're overextending yourself.

00:50:03.280 And you might make the argument, oh, it's just like having any other type of entertainment

00:50:06.420 or any other type of fun.

00:50:07.480 But for a lot of people, it's not like that.

00:50:09.960 A lot of people can't control it.

00:50:11.260 And so I do think that we have laws around certain moralities for particular reasons.

00:50:16.060 And so I do think that sports betting is something that is pretty detrimental to society.

00:50:22.580 And then the third thing is that it warps sports media.

00:50:27.100 I used to really enjoy being able to turn on SportsCenter and just watch sports and watch

00:50:32.420 the analysts talk about the game.

00:50:34.040 But now it's all from the betting lens.

00:50:35.860 It's like, what props do we have coming up?

00:50:37.800 Or what's the line on the current game?

00:50:40.960 And how can we bet this and all this stuff?

00:50:43.320 And I want my sports podcast to just be, you know, talk about the game, talk about what's

00:50:47.500 going on.

00:50:48.780 I used to watch SportsCenter, you know, as every kid, every boy growing up in the 90s,

00:50:53.440 like I used to watch it for in the summer, like for four times, like just keep on playing

00:50:57.720 and I would watch it every time.

00:50:59.400 And now SportsCenter is basically unwatchable.

00:51:01.320 They have their own, you know, betting that they have to do and betting app that they have

00:51:05.460 to promote.

00:51:06.000 And so I think there's a lot of ways that it has warped the sports media and has changed

00:51:10.180 the way that, you know, we kind of consume sports.

00:51:12.940 And as somebody that consumes a lot of sports, I don't really like that.

00:51:15.840 And so that's my take.

00:51:17.280 I just think it's degenerate and it takes like the pure fun out of sports.

00:51:22.600 As someone who like doesn't know that much about sports, I totally agree with you.

00:51:26.540 And plus, I just don't like degeneracy.

00:51:28.080 I feel like it is like walking to a city and smelling weed.

00:51:32.920 You're like, the city is still great.

00:51:34.420 Just like basketball is still great or baseball is still great.

00:51:36.860 But now it's just got this stench that just kind of ruins it.

00:51:40.860 Always in the background.

00:51:42.040 That's kind of what sports betting is.

00:51:43.380 And there's an obvious take, too, that you can just think, oh, how will this affect the

00:51:48.400 outcome of games?

00:51:49.340 How will this affect players?

00:51:50.500 How will this affect coaches, referees?

00:51:52.720 And, you know, you'll have the proponents of sports betting say, oh, no, it doesn't it

00:51:55.860 doesn't affect that.

00:51:56.680 The outcome of the game will be the same.

00:51:57.860 Don't worry about that.

00:51:58.540 Well, literally, there have been professional basketball players that has been betting on games

00:52:03.820 to the point to where he would go in at halftime.

00:52:06.620 And so he was a role player.

00:52:08.320 So he didn't play that much.

00:52:10.160 But so like he would be able to tell his buddies, you know, put in a bet.

00:52:13.540 Hey, the coach isn't going to put me back in the second half.

00:52:15.900 And so bet the under.

00:52:17.300 So meaning I think that he would score fewer than a certain amount of points.

00:52:20.300 Bet the under on my point total because I'm not going back out.

00:52:23.480 And so there's you could see there's these huge influxes of cash on this player's particular

00:52:27.700 prop.

00:52:28.240 He's a player that's not getting a lot of minutes.

00:52:30.220 So it's like, why is this person getting a lot of bets put on him?

00:52:33.860 You know, it makes sense for people to bet on LeBron James because he plays almost every

00:52:37.520 minute of the game.

00:52:38.440 But this guy, why would you bet on what he's going to do?

00:52:40.980 And so it turns out it was him, you know, kind of maybe directing his buddies and other

00:52:44.140 things.

00:52:44.780 And so that takes away the legitimacy of the game.

00:52:47.980 Umpire for MLB just got fired because he was sharing a betting account with another buddy.

00:52:54.600 And basically he was saying that he didn't bet on his games.

00:52:57.260 But the account that he shared, admittedly, did bet on the games.

00:53:00.940 This guy was umpiring.

00:53:02.180 And so that affects the outcome of games, too.

00:53:03.900 So as a sports purist as well, there's that side of it, too.

00:53:07.860 Yeah.

00:53:07.980 So just makes it feel fake.

00:53:10.220 Yeah.

00:53:10.600 We're anti-degeneracy.

00:53:13.440 OK, that's it.

00:53:14.900 That was our last question.

00:53:16.080 Is there anything else that we didn't cover that we want to say for a Valentine's Day episode?

00:53:21.000 Oh, no, I don't know.

00:53:24.540 If I didn't get to, since I talked a lot about sports betting, Luka trade, devastating.

00:53:29.220 I wish that.

00:53:30.380 It didn't happen.

00:53:30.940 I wish that it didn't happen.

00:53:32.900 In sum, marriage is good.

00:53:35.880 Yeah.

00:53:36.420 And marriage is fun.

00:53:37.960 And having kids and having family is fun.

00:53:40.020 Don't let anyone tell you any difference.

00:53:42.060 And, yeah, you get to grow with the person and don't settle for anything less than the

00:53:48.080 person that you truly want to grow old with.

00:53:50.240 Also the person that's following Christ, but the person that you really like and love.

00:53:54.420 And I'm just very thankful this Valentine's Day and every Valentine's Day that I get that

00:53:59.400 and that I've gotten to spend every year since I was 22.

00:54:04.980 Yeah, 22 when we were just dating with the love of my life.

00:54:09.780 Chief Related Bros.

00:54:10.680 So, yeah.

00:54:12.060 Thanks.

00:54:12.720 Same.

00:54:13.100 Happy Valentine's Day.

00:54:14.180 You too.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - February 13, 2025

Ep 1140 ｜ What Christian Men Look For in a Woman ｜ Guest： Timothy Stuckey (Chief Relatabro)

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript