Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 116 ｜ Q&A

00:00:00.000 Hello, relatable listeners. Happy Friday. Hope you guys have had an awesome week. So I asked

00:00:08.100 for questions on Instagram and you guys sent me a ton of them. We're going to do a Q&A episode

00:00:14.200 today. I love the Q&A episodes and I hope you guys like them too. I've gotten good feedback

00:00:18.440 about it because typically people ask questions that you yourself are wondering, maybe you didn't

00:00:22.820 know you were wondering it, or maybe you just didn't want to ask, whatever it is. I love

00:00:27.000 answering you guys' questions. It's really fun. First, before we get into that, I do want to tell

00:00:31.560 you, so a colleague of mine, Mark Levin, he has a book out right now. It's called Unfreedom of the

00:00:36.220 Press. And it's a book that shines a light on the degeneration of America's free press into,

00:00:42.920 this is what he says, a standardless profession that has squandered the faith and trust of the

00:00:48.380 American public. And that is so true. If you have read any stories in the past two years,

00:00:54.080 particularly in regard to President Trump, or if it has anything to do with guns or abortion,

00:00:59.220 it's just so much misinformation and bad reporting. In typical Mark Levin fashion,

00:01:05.580 he doesn't hold anything back. If you've ever heard him, you know that that's just his style,

00:01:10.180 not in substance, not in quality, not in research. I promise that this book is going to deepen your

00:01:16.960 understanding of the roots of journalism in our country and also where we are going in the future.

00:01:22.080 He doesn't mince words. He looks at the partisan party press, which has gone completely off the

00:01:28.960 rails through its own abandonment. This is his quote, abandonment of reportorial. I can't even,

00:01:34.640 I can't even pronounce all the books or all the words in his book, reportorial integrity and

00:01:39.100 objective journalism. This is a book for every person, whether it's for you or maybe Father's Day

00:01:44.120 is coming up. You've got a dad that loves Mark Levin. You can go to Amazon and check this out.

00:01:48.640 It's Unfreedom of the Press. It is released on, it was released on May 21st. So make sure that you

00:01:54.560 go check that out. Okay. Now I am going to answer some of your questions. And I, I honestly, I don't

00:02:00.820 know which questions I'm going to answer. I didn't plan this far in advance. Um, I didn't decide which

00:02:07.560 questions I'm going to answer beforehand. I, you sent them to me on Instagram. I'm just going to go

00:02:11.200 through them and read some of the ones that I think are interesting. Um, how do you combat the

00:02:18.620 men hating our society women tend to do? Uh, okay. I think I get what you're saying. So the, 0.97

00:02:26.220 like the man hating, the man bashing, the male bashing that our society tends to do. Well,

00:02:30.780 this has been happening for a long time. If you watch sitcom sitcoms, even from like, uh, I don't know,

00:02:36.400 the 1970s, 1980s, there's this phenomenon started of a depicting dads, like idiots, depicting dads, 1.00

00:02:44.040 like fools who didn't know what they were doing. And the moms had it all together. And so this kind 1.00

00:02:48.540 of degeneration of masculinity and responsible fatherhood and manhood has been happening for

00:02:54.660 a long time. And it's unfortunately this idea that in order to uplift women, you have to make

00:03:00.400 men look bad when really, as I've said many times, if you have to make a man look bad in order for you

00:03:06.360 as a woman to look good, it probably says a lot more about your inadequacy than his. So that's how 0.99

00:03:12.740 I see it. I mean, the Bible obviously speaks a lot to the difference in a man's role and a woman's role. 0.99

00:03:18.620 They are both made equally in the image of God. A woman has a very specific and unique and wonderful

00:03:23.480 role, uh, in the church and in the eyes of God. It's not the same as a man, but it is equally,

00:03:29.100 uh, worthy and equally dignified and equally worthy of respect. But a man is always going to

00:03:36.140 have different strengths than a woman does. And those are meant to be complimented by women,

00:03:40.120 a compliment with an E, not necessarily an I, although you can do that kind of compliment too,

00:03:45.180 and not to be torn down the emasculation of men starting really, uh, in grade school is something

00:03:53.980 that we have seen increase. I think over the past decade or so in an effort to try to make,

00:04:01.280 I don't know, try to make society more egalitarian. It is what I always say. It's an effort of equality

00:04:07.420 through homogeny. So a lot of people on the left think the only way that we are going to be equal,

00:04:12.200 the only way to get rid of all oppression and all inequality is to make men and women essentially 0.99

00:04:18.380 the same. So gender doesn't really matter. There's really no difference between a man and a woman.

00:04:24.400 A man can compete who identifies as a woman can compete against a biological woman in sports. It's 0.58

00:04:31.520 just kind of this idea that if we make all men and women the exact same, and we convince children 0.94

00:04:36.440 that there is no difference, then maybe there won't be any disparity, but that's obviously not

00:04:41.280 going to be true. Men and women, girls and boys are different from, uh, the womb. They start 0.98

00:04:47.060 developing differently. Their minds work differently. And so I would say, uh, a true

00:04:52.340 woman, a woman who is, uh, confident in her femininity, confident in her unique role in

00:04:57.780 society. You've got a unique role, um, as a nurturer and as a communicator, as someone who

00:05:04.420 beautifies well. And that's not to typify all women is the exact same because we're not, but we do have 0.97

00:05:09.400 unique strengths. Um, someone who is confident in those positions can look at a man and say, I am

00:05:14.440 thankful for his strength, for his ability to protect and preserve and to do the things that

00:05:20.360 quite frankly, women just don't have the strength and ability to do as well in many contexts. Uh, 1.00

00:05:26.900 if we are confident in ourselves and as Christians, if we are confident in God and how God made us,

00:05:31.020 we should have no problem to, we should have no problem deferring to the strengths that men have

00:05:36.340 that we just don't. As a religious person, do we have any basis for putting our beliefs onto

00:05:42.080 non-believers? So it depends on what you mean by, uh, putting our beliefs on non-believers. Of

00:05:49.040 course, you can't force anyone to believe anything, but we as believers believe that all truth comes

00:05:53.880 from God. All goodness comes from God. All morality comes from God. So whether someone knows that or not,

00:05:59.740 if they are acting in a way that is in accordance to scripture, again, whether they know it or not,

00:06:04.600 they are, uh, living in accordance to what God says is good and right and true. A lot of people say,

00:06:11.860 oh, separation of church and state, that doesn't mean that our laws should not reflect God's

00:06:18.700 goodness. The very founding of this country, uh, was reflected or was built upon the Bible.

00:06:25.100 Separation of church and state is not the same thing as separating biblical principles, uh, from

00:06:30.300 state or separating biblical principles from how we live our lives or how we dictate what is good and

00:06:37.020 what is not God dictates morality, God dictates truth, and you can't escape from that, whether

00:06:42.640 you're a believer or not. So I don't know if that's so much of putting on our beliefs to non-believers

00:06:47.440 is just acknowledging reality. Um, long distance relationships. So this is not a question, just

00:06:53.880 long distance relationships. I imagine they're really hard. I don't know if I've ever been in a

00:06:57.900 long distance relationship. Uh, if it's worth it, it's worth it. I know a lot of people have made it

00:07:03.020 work. I think communication is key. Managing expectations is key. And if you are off kilter

00:07:07.980 with communication or expectations, um, it's going to be really difficult, but if it's worth it,

00:07:12.760 if this person is, if you're a Christian and this person is pursuing the Lord, you're pursuing the

00:07:16.660 Lord. And this is a right and good and glorifying relationship. I don't think there's anything wrong

00:07:21.880 with that. Now I would encourage you to reconcile the distance as soon as you possibly can and get

00:07:26.520 married. If you were in a position to, uh, get married, uh, were you always a Calvinist? I probably

00:07:32.860 always have been a Calvinist, but didn't really know. It wasn't until I was in high school that I

00:07:38.220 kind of, uh, was influenced by this young restless reforms movement that was happening right at the

00:07:44.280 time that I was about a sophomore or junior. I started reading the Bible for myself mostly when I

00:07:49.060 was a junior in high school and just happened to be that Romans was my favorite book at the time.

00:07:55.480 And I think it kind of pointed me in that direction without really knowing it. And the teachers that

00:07:59.840 I was listening to that were reformed and I just didn't know, I wouldn't have called myself a

00:08:04.660 Calvinist, but I have always had the reformed bent, which tends to be a Calvinist. Uh, what has been

00:08:13.700 your favorite college to visit? Oh, my favorite college to visit. Oh, that's hard to, that's really

00:08:22.140 hard to say. There've been so many fun colleges. I love every college that I go to now. One of the

00:08:28.120 most difficult and strangest ones was probably Cornell. Uh, one of the best ones was grand

00:08:33.080 Canyon university and yeah, everyone is different. I mean, the students are great. You've got great

00:08:38.320 students and apathetic students at every university, but, um, yeah, I would probably say, I don't know.

00:08:43.560 Well, actually I went to West Virginia too, and that was great. It's, it's really hard.

00:08:48.040 It's really hard to say. What is my opinion on dating apps? I was just talking to my friend

00:08:53.400 about this earlier this week. So this is where I officially start to feel old. Um, because

00:08:59.860 I started, I, I started dating my husband a little bit. I would say a little bit before dating apps

00:09:09.060 became extremely popular. Now people did have dating apps. I wasn't on a dating app. I think

00:09:13.960 I downloaded, I think I downloaded it like a bumble or whatever it was like one night when I was

00:09:19.660 single. Um, but I don't remember ever. I never met anyone. I don't even remember ever using it.

00:09:26.780 So I just am not super familiar with it. Here's what I think. I don't think it's necessarily,

00:09:31.680 I don't think maybe I don't know enough about it. I don't think it's necessarily wrong. It sounds very

00:09:37.420 exhausting. That's what it sounds like. It sounds extremely exhausting. I could see how you would kind of

00:09:42.980 get addicted to the affirmation that you get from dating apps, which is a very superficial affirmation.

00:09:48.020 I also could see how it could be very disheartening. If you don't see anyone that you like on there,

00:09:52.260 you're not getting the affirmation that you think that you deserve on the dating app. It just seems

00:09:56.980 a really difficult way to date. But I also know people for whom it has worked and they have built

00:10:03.740 relationships off of it. They ended up meeting an awesome person who is like-minded, who shared their

00:10:08.820 faith and shared their values and it worked for them. That's awesome. Um, so I think it is different

00:10:13.700 for different people. Do I think it's probably better and going to be better for you if you meet

00:10:18.120 someone that you, that a friend knows or meet someone at church or meet someone at some kind

00:10:22.800 of community event? Probably because you already know that you're like-minded in some way and you

00:10:28.880 don't have to judge that person immediately off of, you know, a two-dimensional profile on your phone

00:10:34.560 and you don't have to go through this disheartening cycle of swiping and dates and all of that.

00:10:40.120 But like I said, it's worked for some people. I don't really have necessarily like a biblical

00:10:44.680 perspective on whether it's right or wrong. I think it's just, uh, different. So someone said

00:10:51.220 refuting arguments on bodily autonomy for abortion. I've talked about this many times. I would go back

00:10:56.060 and look at previous episodes on abortion. Um, do I think that God has a sense of humor?

00:11:02.360 Humor. That is an interesting question. Well, I would say that God created humor. He created joy.

00:11:08.720 He created, I think laughing is a gift of common grace. And so perhaps, I don't know how exactly

00:11:15.960 that would look. Now the Bible does say that God laughs at the wicked. I don't think that's like a

00:11:22.160 hearty ha ha laugh. Like he finds it humorous, but that was the only thing that popped into my head

00:11:27.220 that, okay, we know that God laughs. Now, whether that's a figure of speech anyway,

00:11:31.200 probably I, again, I don't know how that would manifest itself, but sure. Maybe have I had my

00:11:40.140 wisdom teeth removed? Uh, if so, any funny stories I have had my wisdom teeth removed. It wasn't really

00:11:45.640 a funny story. I had a really, uh, short recovery time, had my wisdom teeth removed when I was in high

00:11:51.220 school. I think that I was living life again a few days later. That was, that was terrible. High school

00:11:56.520 is just like a rough time. Would you ever run for public office? Probably not. I mean, I never say

00:12:04.280 never to anything. Well, I can probably say that I'll never, I'll never be a rocket scientist. I'll

00:12:11.240 probably say that I could probably say that I'll never be a math teacher. I could probably say that

00:12:15.360 I would never do things like that because I'm bad at them. I won't say that I'll never run for public

00:12:19.760 office. Cause I don't know. I will tell you very frankly, very honestly, I'm not being coy about

00:12:25.920 this at all. I currently have no desire for that. I just don't have any desire. I like being in this

00:12:31.860 space. I find the idea of running for public office to be very restrictive and what I can do with my

00:12:38.480 career. That doesn't mean never though. There could certainly be a time where I feel called to go into

00:12:43.900 that and that'll be awesome and great and all for the glory of God. Wonderful. But right now I have

00:12:50.040 absolutely no inclination and no plans to do that whatsoever. Quite frankly, it sounds really boring,

00:12:56.340 but if I get caught, if I'm, you know, called to do that, then fine. Uh, do I find it even harder to

00:13:03.340 stomach the abortion issue while pregnant? Yes. Yes, I certainly do. Because I think a lot of people,

00:13:10.920 people always say, Oh, people who are pro, who are pro life, they're all these men,

00:13:16.380 they're all these men who don't know anything about getting pregnant. Well, I actually think 0.99

00:13:20.100 the majority of people who are pro-choice have never been pregnant. That's my assessment. I don't

00:13:24.900 know that for sure, but that's what it seems like because you got a lot of biological ignorance coming

00:13:30.100 from some people, uh, on that pro-choice side who just don't know anything about a sperm and an egg

00:13:37.680 and how conception works in gestation. I'm like, okay, these people have never been pregnant when

00:13:43.660 they think of like, they think of like a 10 week, uh, fetus 10 week gestation. They literally think

00:13:50.780 that's a clump of cells. No, at 11 and a half weeks, we had a sonogram arms, legs, head, brain,

00:13:58.100 lungs, spine, heart moving around. I mean, literally just looks like a little tiny baby,

00:14:03.760 but looks exactly how she will look when she's born, just a lot smaller and skinnier.

00:14:09.520 People just don't know anything about pregnancy. It's really amazing. And so it's very hard for me

00:14:15.560 to, you know, see my child on an ultrasound. It's such an early point to have felt my child

00:14:21.180 move inside my womb since, I don't know, before 20 weeks pregnant. And most abortions happen before

00:14:28.980 24 weeks. And people say, oh, that's totally fine. I'm like 24 weeks is really far along. Like you've

00:14:34.760 been feeling your child move for a long time at that point. Like there's no denying the humanity

00:14:40.400 of what you've got inside of you. So when people talk about this stuff and people say, oh, well,

00:14:45.200 only very few, only very few abortions happen at full term, uh, that, you know, just very rarely

00:14:52.700 happens. I'm like full term. Are you kidding me? Like my child doesn't leave my insides alone.

00:14:58.560 She's constantly moving. Like if I put my hand on my stomach, when she moves a certain way,

00:15:03.560 I can tell which body part is where it's crazy. Like I can't describe, I was telling my husband

00:15:10.260 this, like, I can't describe what you feel for your child that you haven't met. Obviously it's love.

00:15:17.560 Obviously it's love. Like as soon as you pee on that stick and you see the two lines or whatever it

00:15:23.300 is, and mine was digital and said pregnant, um, you have this intense feeling of protection over

00:15:29.300 what is inside of you or else you should, of course, not every woman feels like that or else

00:15:32.580 they wouldn't have an abortion, but most women feel this intense sense of protection of everything 0.77

00:15:37.900 changes. You think about your travel schedule. You think about your sleep. You think about what you

00:15:43.040 eat. You obviously think about what you drink. You think about how often you go outside, how often

00:15:47.300 you stand up. You think about all of these things. What if someone tries to touch my stomach?

00:15:50.860 What if someone randomly punches me in an airport? All these illogical paranoid things. But you think

00:15:55.560 about, I am going to protect this child at all costs. And that does not stop. That feeling just

00:16:01.840 gets stronger and stronger. The longer that you're pregnant, you start thinking about all the things

00:16:06.000 that you're going to teach them. You're going to think about, okay, how am I going to refute these

00:16:09.820 lies in their life? How am I going to make sure that they know Christ? Like the personhood, even though

00:16:14.740 they're a person from conception, the personhood and the reality of who they are as an individual

00:16:19.300 increases, the longer that you are pregnant, not only their humanity and their physical strength

00:16:25.300 and their weight inside the womb, but also who they are as a soul. And so it's very hard to see

00:16:32.700 people just discount what is inside me as nothing. If I think that she's nothing, what's no, she's been

00:16:40.080 an individual from the very beginning that is worthy of my protection and worthy of my care,

00:16:45.740 whether or not I ever wanted to give it. But of course I have. And so, yes, I would say that it's

00:16:52.740 harder as a pregnant person to hear all of these crazy arguments and the people who really know

00:16:57.880 nothing about pregnancy whatsoever talk as if they do. It's really crazy. If I could meet one American 1.00

00:17:05.040 in history, who would it be and why? American. Okay. Oh, I would. My first inclination is to say

00:17:13.800 Ronald Reagan. I love Ronald Reagan, but I'm a little afraid of that. I'm afraid that I would

00:17:20.200 meet someone that I've idolized, not truly idolized, but, you know, admired and that I would be

00:17:25.140 disappointed. And so I don't want that to happen. Well, it'd be great to meet a founder. I should

00:17:30.600 probably go back like I or maybe like George Washington. It would be awesome to meet George

00:17:35.560 Washington and just to know what was it like back then. What was it like when the country was

00:17:40.580 founded? What where did we go wrong? Can you help us? I think that would probably probably one of the

00:17:46.260 founders. Let's see. Have you ever vaped? No, I've never vaped. I don't even really know what it is.

00:17:57.180 Um, so this is a really hard question that I get a lot. And while you're not going to expect what I'm

00:18:05.240 about to say, cause it doesn't sound like a hard question, but I'll explain why. So someone says,

00:18:09.160 who are the females you most look up to or agree with? So there aren't a lot of women who have gone 0.92

00:18:19.060 before me who do what I do because I'm not a political commentator exclusively. I'm not,

00:18:26.140 I don't only talk about theological things or Christian, strictly Christian church-related

00:18:31.660 Bible-related things. I talk about both. And I talk about how the Bible influences how we think

00:18:37.820 about culture and how we think about politics. And there is not, there are plenty of men that I can

00:18:43.660 look to that are much smarter than me, much wiser than me, have much bigger platforms than I do,

00:18:48.320 who have gone before me and who I can look to to say, okay, that's a good example.

00:18:53.220 There are not very many women who I can say who have gone before me and say, oh, I can look to

00:19:01.140 that person and she's doing what I'm doing, which is totally fine. That's, that's, that's fine. I

00:19:06.640 don't need a woman to look to in that regard, but there's, there's just not, there's just not.

00:19:13.820 Now there are other women that I admire a lot and who do different things than I do. 1.00

00:19:18.760 I really admire Nikki Haley. I really admire Carly Fiorina. I think they're two extremely 0.99

00:19:24.820 strong, confident women that I can learn a lot about from a leadership perspective. And I think

00:19:31.280 that that is awesome. So those are two people that I would say that I look to and, uh, can learn from

00:19:37.520 women are interesting. Women are interesting. I'll just, I'll just leave it at that. Um, 1.00

00:19:43.400 teen mom fan. I don't know what that is. Is that a TV show? I don't know if I'm a fan of it. Uh,

00:19:52.400 should Christians date in high school? Uh, it's so hard to say. I mean, I know Christian couples that

00:19:57.540 ended up getting married. They dated in high school. That's awesome. Now I look back at my

00:20:01.440 high school relationships and I wish that I hadn't, it depends on how mature you are. I wasn't,

00:20:06.280 I guess I just wasn't very mature in high school. I mean, I was probably just typical high schooler.

00:20:09.700 So I dated stupid people that I, you know, didn't really care anything about, at least for the most 0.98

00:20:15.640 part, or I did at the time, but I look back and I'm like, those relationships weren't beneficial in 0.99

00:20:19.820 the slightest. And so it just, it totally depends. I think the purpose of dating is to get married.

00:20:26.960 And I wish I had had that perspective. Um, if you are ready in high school, spiritually ready,

00:20:33.520 emotionally ready to find the person that you want to marry, then I would say, go for it. If not,

00:20:39.080 I'm just not sure how much, uh, benefit you're going to get out of dating someone when you are

00:20:45.940 16 years old. Someone says, am I vegan? I don't know what gave you that impression. I talk about

00:20:52.200 Chick-fil-A a lot. So no, I am not vegan at all. Uh, do I have a favorite book? Hmm. Do I have a

00:21:02.340 favorite book? Uh, I, I love mere Christianity. I know that's pretty basic, but that's always been one of 0.68

00:21:07.900 my favorite books of all time. Wow. I'm totally blanking on like what my favorite fiction book

00:21:15.260 is. I read so much fiction in high school. I don't know. I like grapes of wrath. I think that's

00:21:23.040 a great book. Um, a favorite of all time. I used to love Francine rivers. I haven't read her since

00:21:30.380 high school either, but I used to love Francine rivers. Now, some of the stuff now looking back,

00:21:35.300 I'm like, okay, that was probably emotionally unhealthy. Like how attached we got to like

00:21:40.200 Francine rivers, like romantic characters, but she can write a really good historical fiction book. 0.90

00:21:47.040 Um, I used to read fiction all of the time in high school. And then when I was in college and after

00:21:52.000 college, it turned to a lot of nonfiction, but I do think reading fiction is extremely important.

00:21:56.900 Um, let's see. How many kids do you want? How many kids do I want? I don't know. We've always said

00:22:07.900 four, we would like to adopt as well, but you know, being pregnant is not the most fun thing that I've

00:22:15.140 ever done in the world. So it's kind of like, okay, three more times, two more times. That's a lot.

00:22:22.400 Obviously we would totally do it. And it's all incredibly worth it. Uh, but I, I don't know.

00:22:29.540 We definitely want more than two. We don't know how many we would adopt versus biological. Um,

00:22:36.020 but we'll see. Uh, Oh, someone else asked Myers Briggs personality type. I don't actually know.

00:22:43.560 I think I am an introvert. Uh, I think that I am. I don't, I don't know all of them. I don't know.

00:22:52.280 I think I judge over feeling what I don't perceive. I have no idea. I don't know,

00:22:59.260 but I know that I'm an introvert. I know that my first letter is I, but that's because I get energy

00:23:03.640 from being by myself rather than being around other people. I'm definitely an extroverted introvert.

00:23:07.720 So when I am around other people, I can really turn it on and I can talk to anyone, but I am

00:23:13.640 totally fine being by myself all day. Do not have to see a soul never get restless or get stir crazy

00:23:20.360 or like, Oh my gosh, I need to see human life. Nope. Don't need to. I'm totally fine by myself.

00:23:25.540 Um, who is my favorite theologian or pastor? When I have a question about something that I don't know,

00:23:31.700 someone's wisdom that I really trust is John Piper. Um, I really like Ligonier or Legionnaire. I'm not

00:23:37.420 totally sure how to pronounce it. Uh, ministries by R.C. Sproul or R.C. Sproul, depending on how you

00:23:43.680 want to pronounce that. Those are, uh, two people that I would go to, of course, always going to

00:23:49.260 scripture as the ultimate authority, but those are two people that I would look at and say, okay,

00:23:53.320 they've got a lot of wisdom and they have a high view of the word of God. And I trust

00:23:57.840 their discernment to kind of help guide me through what scripture says about this complex issue or

00:24:03.220 question. I like John MacArthur as well. So those are some resources,

00:24:06.560 uh, that I use, um, advice for a young man waiting to find a lady of your quality level. 0.97

00:24:18.300 Well, thank you very much. I promise you, I didn't even read that whole question before I said it.

00:24:23.460 So I hope you guys don't think that I picked it for to flatter myself, um, for a young man waiting to

00:24:29.440 find a lady. So I would put yourself in situations as much as you can in which quality women of God

00:24:38.740 will be. So that means church. That means small groups. That does not mean that you only go to

00:24:42.720 church in small group to find a wife. That is not what I mean at all. But of course, if you want to

00:24:48.360 fellowship with believers and you want to get to know believers, then it's good to hang out, uh,

00:24:52.540 where other believers are. One thing of course, that I will say is that dating is not going to

00:24:57.580 satisfy you. Even marriage won't satisfy you. It's not wrong to long for marriage and to long

00:25:01.840 for a godly companion, of course, but our satisfaction does, uh, come in Christ alone.

00:25:08.160 And so of course I would say to focus on Christ and, um, you can, I think that it's okay to pray

00:25:17.380 for a wife as long as we are not idolizing being married or idolizing having a future spouse. And so

00:25:23.460 that's what I would do. I would, I would, uh, I would seep yourself, steep yourself in the word of

00:25:29.160 God. I would follow his commands. I would be as obedient as you possibly can through the Holy

00:25:35.420 Spirit to God. Uh, of course, fellowship with other believers. And if it is God's will for you

00:25:41.840 to be married, I believe that that, uh, will happen. Have you and your husband ever had any big

00:25:48.080 fight arguments? If so, what was it? I don't know if we've had like one big fight, but we certainly

00:25:54.660 have arguments and it's typically over who is nagging who I'll just be really real about that.

00:26:02.380 That's like our, that's our argument. Who is nagging who? Because he will tell, he will remind

00:26:08.760 me of something that I really don't want to be reminded of. It's like already in my head and I'm

00:26:13.400 going to do it at some point. I just haven't done it yet. Or I know that I need to do that.

00:26:18.240 And I don't want to be reminded of it. And I feel like he's nagging me. And there are plenty of times

00:26:22.960 where I do that to him too, but we both feel that we are justified in reminding the other person what

00:26:28.220 they said that we were going to do. And we just find ourselves sometimes going in circles being like,

00:26:33.000 you're nagging me. No, you're nagging me. And I don't want to be nagged, but how do we make sure

00:26:38.060 that these things get done? So that has kind of been like our point of contention, but he is awesome

00:26:46.500 and he is really humble and he is the one to say, you know what? You're absolutely right. I do need

00:26:51.940 to do that thing that I said that I was going to do. And that speaks really highly. I think of his

00:26:58.000 character and his leadership as a Christian husband. And then that causes me to say, okay,

00:27:04.580 okay. You're right. And thank you. And you're right. I need to do this thing too. It is bad

00:27:09.480 that I haven't done that yet. Even though I said that I was going to, that does speak poorly to my

00:27:14.860 character or commitment, whatever it is that he has reminded me that I need to do. So that is like,

00:27:19.240 I would say our recent bout of arguments of like, who has done what, uh, who has like done the things

00:27:26.820 that they're supposed to do around the house without being nagged. That would be an argument that we

00:27:31.980 have, but he's really good at reconciling that and making, uh, making peace with that.

00:27:38.860 Um, I am praying for you. Thank you so much. I really, really appreciate that. A lot of you guys

00:27:44.980 say that and that is more valuable to me than, you know, uh, what is the hardest thing about being in

00:27:50.900 the public eye? Um, I think just knowing that there are so many people that, that hate you and that if

00:27:58.440 you, if something bad happened to you, that there are lots of people that would rejoice and lots of

00:28:04.560 people that would be extremely happy to see you fail or happy to see something bad happen to you.

00:28:10.380 That's not like a great feeling. Um, I would say that's the hardest, that's the hardest thing.

00:28:15.080 And just also knowing that people, how evil people are online, the things that they'll say,

00:28:20.740 the things that they'll do to bring you down and nothing is off limits for them. Of course,

00:28:24.960 that makes me even more protective of my family and of my child. This is something that I've told

00:28:31.040 you guys before, but I'll just say again, um, I'm not sharing the name of my child. I am not going to

00:28:37.700 share her face on social media. It makes me really sad that that's the choice that I have to make

00:28:42.020 because 99.9% of you who follow me and listen to my podcast, I'm sure, uh, are totally trustworthy.

00:28:48.140 And I would love to share my daughter with you guys. This is an exciting time. And I count you

00:28:55.160 guys as friends. And I just wish that I could, you know, send this picture directly to you and

00:28:59.780 be like, Oh, look how great and perfect she is. Here's her name. And here's, you know, all this

00:29:04.200 stuff. I wish that I could do that, but I just, just don't trust so many people on the internet and

00:29:08.680 what they do with that information and what they do with those pictures. I just don't trust it.

00:29:13.000 So no social media, no name revealing, unfortunately, um, because of that. And that

00:29:19.760 is a hard part I would say about being in the public eye. Someone asks me another question

00:29:23.580 in that vein, which says, how do you deal with all of the hate online? If you guys have been

00:29:28.600 following me for even a short amount of time, you guys saw that there were a couple of weeks ago,

00:29:33.980 there were trolls on Facebook, uh, telling me that, you know, I've gained weight and pregnancy

00:29:39.060 and just being so cruel about it. So unbelievably heartless. And these are, as I've said before,

00:29:45.320 these are people who live in their parents' basement and are 50 years old and have never

00:29:49.560 been loved or wanted probably in their lives, except for by their mommy. So I understand

00:29:54.100 cognitively, I understand that I shouldn't care what these people think, but when your insecurities

00:29:58.780 are on display, when people poke at your insecurities publicly, uh, that can be really hard. So

00:30:04.240 most of the time I let this stuff roll off. Like I'm very confident in who I am in Christ. I have

00:30:10.280 a family that loves me a lot. I have a husband who loves me and who I love. I am growing a human

00:30:16.540 inside me. Like I've got purpose so far outside of what people on the internet say about me, but

00:30:22.700 that's, that doesn't, that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt my feelings. Of course it hurts my

00:30:26.340 feelings sometimes, but I just got to remember the bigger picture. And I just got to remember who I am

00:30:30.960 and what is really important. Uh, someone says best advice for newlyweds 37 days out. Well,

00:30:36.600 congratulations. Marriage is awesome. Do not let anyone tell you that marriage is not awesome.

00:30:43.800 It is awesome. If you are marrying the person that God has called you to marry, marriage is amazing.

00:30:51.800 If you are marrying a godly person, marriage is amazing. I love marriage and I'm not exaggerating.

00:30:58.840 I love marriage. Most of you know that my husband and I dated for five months. We're engaged for four

00:31:04.500 months. We didn't even know each other a full year by the time I walked down the aisle and I have

00:31:09.640 never looked back. That's not everyone's story. So that's not to say that everyone has to do it like

00:31:13.640 we did to be right. Certainly not. Everyone's situation is different, but I knew extremely early

00:31:19.520 on that he was a person that I wanted to marry and I've never one time questioned that or doubted.

00:31:24.360 And I love marriage. There has never been a moment where I have said, being single would be awesome.

00:31:32.020 Having more freedom would be awesome. I wish that I wasn't married. I wish I was dating or something

00:31:36.220 like that. I've never, ever thought that I love being married. I love hanging out with my husband

00:31:44.720 and the fights that you have, the arguments that you have, the nagging that you go through the,

00:31:49.600 there are times of course, that you look at your spouse and you're like, you're so annoying. Why do

00:31:55.620 you think the way that you do? Or what do you say the things that you do? And there are times where

00:31:59.560 your spouse is going to do that to you. That's just a part of living together and knowing someone 0.96

00:32:04.420 so intimately. But gosh, all of that completely, completely pales in comparison to how fun it is

00:32:12.800 to hang out with your best friend all day, every day, and to know that you get to go to sleep next

00:32:20.460 to and wake up next to the love of your life. Even when those honeymoon feelings fade, even when things

00:32:26.820 get hard, even when, um, you look at that person and you're annoyed with them, when you're frustrated

00:32:33.960 with them, when maybe you even realize you are different in this regard than I thought when we

00:32:39.400 first got married, it's all okay. It's all part of it. Stay rooted in Christ, uh, pray together,

00:32:46.420 read scripture together, at least share what you're talking about, uh, in scripture and what

00:32:51.180 you're praying about, rely on each other, realize you're not self-sufficient. You are no longer your

00:32:55.880 own. The Bible says you belong to your husband and your husband belongs to you. You are one of each

00:33:01.620 other. You are one flesh. Uh, so you are one. Now you are united act like that. The world will tell you

00:33:08.320 even Christians in the world will tell you. So-called Christians will tell you that you've 0.98

00:33:12.640 got to reclaim your identity. You've got to reclaim your individuality. You've got to reclaim your

00:33:17.020 life for what it is and take charge of yourself. Remember that you're not just your husband's. No,

00:33:21.740 no, no. You are your husband's and your husband is yours. That doesn't mean that you don't have a

00:33:25.900 personality. Does it mean that you don't have preferences, but it's not your own schedule.

00:33:31.120 It is not your own life anymore. Uh, you are on a joint journey together. You might have different

00:33:38.520 jobs. You might have some different dreams. You might have some different goals, but at the end

00:33:43.740 of the day, they are combined. They are inextricably intertwined. Uh, rejoice in that instead of

00:33:51.280 despairing that it's not about your convenience anymore. You guys are one and embrace that. It's

00:33:58.160 awesome. I love being married. Congratulations. I'm so excited for you. Okay. That's all. I feel

00:34:05.820 so bad. I literally have hundreds of messages that I'm looking at right now and I didn't get to them.

00:34:11.880 So I'll just have to save them and use them for later. Um, I really wish some of these are so good.

00:34:18.080 I'm so sorry that I didn't get to all of your, all of your questions, but I love you guys. I will see

00:34:22.440 you on Monday for theology Monday and have a great weekend.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - May 24, 2019

Ep 116 ｜ Q&A

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