Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - August 06, 2025


Ep 1227 ｜ These Lies About Divorce Are Fooling Christian Women


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 4 minutes

Words per minute

157.24452

Word count

10,208

Sentence count

717

Harmful content

Misogyny

29

sentences flagged

Hate speech

35

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

A Christian woman in a viral video claims that she is divorcing her perfect husband. This has caused a debate about marriage and divorce. So we re going to take a look at what does the Bible actually say about divorce? When is it justified? Is it ever justified?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.680 A Christian woman in a viral video claims that she is divorcing her perfect husband.
00:00:07.900 This has caused a debate about marriage and divorce, so we are going to take a look.
00:00:12.520 What does the Bible actually say about divorce?
00:00:15.880 When is it justified?
00:00:17.420 Is it ever justified?
00:00:19.620 Let's look at what God's Word says.
00:00:21.380 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Olive.
00:00:23.940 Download the Olive app today to see the ingredients that are really in the food that your family is eating.
00:00:32.280 You will uncover all kinds of secret things that they are putting in these foods.
00:00:36.520 You can help make America healthy again, and even more importantly, you can make your family healthy by downloading the Olive app today.
00:00:53.940 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.
00:00:56.640 Happy Wednesday.
00:00:57.780 Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far.
00:01:00.720 Okay, watch this viral video from a TikTok influencer talking about her potential divorce, and tell me if you can spot the problems. 0.95
00:01:09.440 Here's salt one.
00:01:10.320 I don't know if I'm going to actually post this because this is super vulnerable for me, and I'm a pretty open person.
00:01:16.000 But earlier this year, I told my husband I wanted a divorce.
00:01:19.960 I feel like I have been searching for something in my relationship that we don't have for the whole time we've been married, which has been 10 years.
00:01:28.860 There is not a single thing about my husband in and of himself that I do not love.
00:01:34.760 Let me be very clear about that.
00:01:36.460 He is the most self-disciplined, loyal, hardworking, good person that you could meet on this planet.
00:01:47.100 And that is probably the reason, that is the reason why I have not left.
00:01:52.940 Our relationship and what my expectations are for my marriage and what they always happen are not met, right?
00:02:02.980 Which I don't know if anybody's are.
00:02:04.880 The reason that pushed me to even bring up divorce and talk about it was the fact that I feel like I don't, I can't be myself with my husband.
00:02:18.880 And it's really confusing because I'm 32 years old.
00:02:22.780 I am a mom of three.
00:02:26.720 And I still don't know who I am.
00:02:29.380 This video started a firestorm on social media with all different kinds of people debating whether her reasons were legitimate.
00:02:37.520 What is the real purpose of divorce and marriage?
00:02:41.720 Today we are going to analyze this video, but in a broader conversation, talk about what does the Bible really say about divorce?
00:02:51.020 When is it justified?
00:02:52.700 Is it ever justified?
00:02:54.360 There's a lot of disagreement about this, even among Christians.
00:02:57.860 And so we are going to try to get as much clarity as possible.
00:03:02.340 Before we get into that, I want to encourage you to not only subscribe to this YouTube channel, subscribe across all platforms.
00:03:09.640 It really helps us out a lot.
00:03:11.380 Leave us a five-star review if you love this show, if it's meant anything to you.
00:03:16.500 That is how we continue to give you the content that you love for free.
00:03:21.680 So subscribe across the platforms.
00:03:23.940 Leave us a five-star review.
00:03:25.400 Also, subscribe to Blaze TV.
00:03:28.860 That's where you are getting exclusive content that you're not getting anywhere else.
00:03:33.660 We've got a new parenting special out.
00:03:36.240 We've got the women from the Mind of a Child podcast, Leslie and Diane. 1.00
00:03:42.220 They are so wonderful.
00:03:43.480 They are seasoned mothers and grandmothers.
00:03:46.180 We are talking about the very difficult questions around discipline, spanking, how to deal with picky eaters, all from a biblical perspective.
00:03:58.100 So go to blazetv.com slash Allie. 0.97
00:04:01.760 You can use code Allie and you will get a discount on your subscription and access to all Blaze TV content.
00:04:10.640 It's going to be great.
00:04:12.440 Okay, let's get into this viral confession that we just walked.
00:04:17.980 Now, my audience is extremely astute.
00:04:22.000 You are biblically wise.
00:04:23.820 So it won't come as a surprise to you that I have a lot of problems with this,
00:04:30.860 that God has a lot of problems with this person's reasoning and what she is articulating here.
00:04:37.240 And before we get into that response, I've got a few specific points to make on that.
00:04:43.060 Let's look at the context.
00:04:45.140 Who is this?
00:04:46.400 Camille White is a social media manager. 0.99
00:04:49.920 She's a content creator and she puts out TikTok videos of her and her family.
00:04:55.620 She actually gained a following.
00:04:57.220 I think she's got maybe 60,000 followers on TikTok from posting pro-Trump, pro-God, pro-family content.
00:05:07.500 And so when she posted this, a lot of her audience felt betrayed and other people started circulating this video to show this is emblematic of the problem with our culture.
00:05:19.280 Some people also used it to show the problem with the flippancy that feminism has encouraged among women, that if something isn't right for you, if it's hard for you, then you can just leave it in accordance with your feelings. 1.00
00:05:36.200 So in other parts of this video, it's like a five and a half minute video that we couldn't play the entire thing.
00:05:43.540 She talks about telling her husband that she wants a divorce, working out the logistics, like where she would live.
00:05:51.960 She goes through, as you heard, all of these wonderful characteristics that her husband has.
00:05:57.360 But as they're approaching their 10-year anniversary, she's just not sure if this is the place for her, if she is getting all of her needs met.
00:06:08.840 And as you heard her say, if she's really finding herself.
00:06:12.720 Now, she does say she wants to work on their relationship, but she also said that the easier option would be to get a divorce and try to go find the love that I'm craving.
00:06:24.660 She asked what other couples have done.
00:06:26.740 So she's couching this confession in kind of asking for advice.
00:06:31.660 She's saying that she's being vulnerable here and that she just wants to know how she can salvage her marriage.
00:06:42.560 And because of that, there are a lot of people that are showing her sympathy.
00:06:47.340 But as you can understand, there are a lot of people who are expressing their ire as well.
00:06:53.100 For example, you've got Matt Walsh saying this is horrific, narcissistic, sociopathic.
00:06:59.260 You've got Michael Knoll saying this is self-sabotage.
00:07:04.000 And I've got my own response to this.
00:07:06.840 Posting a video confessing your soured feelings about your husband, talking negatively about your spouse, talking negatively about your marriage indicates a lot of very profound spiritual and mental issues going on here.
00:07:25.720 You've got to honor your husband more than this.
00:07:28.560 You've got to cherish your marriage more than this.
00:07:31.360 You've got to protect your privacy better than this.
00:07:34.620 Love your kids more than this.
00:07:37.020 This creator publicly claims the name of Christ.
00:07:39.880 So I can speak to her in Christian terms.
00:07:43.340 Number one, marriage is for life.
00:07:46.040 Except in rare circumstances, divorce is not allowed.
00:07:49.780 Jesus says what God has joined together, let not man separate.
00:07:55.040 Number two, life isn't about finding yourself.
00:07:58.000 It's about denying yourself as Jesus calls us to do.
00:08:01.360 The journey to self-discovery is endless.
00:08:04.360 And self-fulfillment is a very heavy burden to bear.
00:08:09.100 Number three, your kid's well-being matters more than your wants.
00:08:13.680 Your feelings will change.
00:08:15.420 Your kid's emotional, psychological, and spiritual need for an intact home will not.
00:08:22.320 And number four, marriage is not primarily about happiness.
00:08:26.200 It is primarily about holiness.
00:08:28.940 Marriage can be extremely happy.
00:08:30.460 It can also be really hard.
00:08:33.020 You wed two sinners together.
00:08:34.880 Things are going to be less than perfect.
00:08:37.520 You learn to love this person through various seasons, various versions of themselves, various
00:08:42.600 spots in their road of sanctification, all for the glory of God.
00:08:48.040 And then finally, number five, feelings are real.
00:08:51.380 They are strong.
00:08:52.300 And it is so tempting to follow our feelings, but it is a trap.
00:08:57.220 Our hearts cannot be trusted.
00:08:58.860 Jeremiah 17, 9.
00:09:01.040 So go to people at your church and your life that won't just affirm how you feel, but will
00:09:07.320 actually point you as uncomfortable as it may be to the unchanging truth of God's word.
00:09:13.400 That is your responsibility to God as a Christian, to your husband, who you made a vow to, and
00:09:20.100 your children who need their mom and dad to stay together.
00:09:24.860 And also, as an aside, before we get into the bigger conversation about the biblical explanation
00:09:31.580 for what marriage is and the justification of divorce, here's what I would ask.
00:09:36.040 And I think this is a question for all of us to consider from time to time.
00:09:40.380 This is a question not just for this creator, but also to all of you women out there.
00:09:45.760 What are you watching?
00:09:47.780 Who are you following?
00:09:50.100 What are you listening to?
00:09:52.560 What are you reading?
00:09:54.720 Are you reading unrealistic depictions of what romance looks like?
00:10:00.660 Are you looking for that unhealthy codependence that you read about?
00:10:05.440 In the Colleen Hoover novels?
00:10:08.400 Are you listening to music that glorifies really destructive relationships?
00:10:15.220 Are you watching movies that is painting this picture of this hot and heavy sinful romance
00:10:23.780 and that has rewired your desires to want something like that instead of the biblical marriage
00:10:31.940 that God has called you into?
00:10:34.000 Whatever fills us controls us.
00:10:36.960 That's why we read in the book of Ephesians to be filled with the Holy Spirit, not to be
00:10:41.320 drunk with wine, because whatever fills us, our bodies and our minds will control us.
00:10:48.860 We might think, oh, these desires are telling me something, but we mistake our sinful desires
00:10:54.260 for conviction.
00:10:55.780 Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is God.
00:10:59.380 Therefore, the Holy Spirit will never convict you to do something that is against God's
00:11:05.080 will.
00:11:05.940 And divorce here is against God's will.
00:11:09.240 So let's get into it.
00:11:10.360 What does God actually say about marriage and divorce?
00:11:13.260 First, let me just say, if you feel that you need a time of refreshment, like if you feel that you need encouragement, you need to be edified, you need to be reminded
00:11:26.120 that you are not alone.
00:11:28.580 Then Share the Arrows is for you.
00:11:31.500 Y'all, I am so excited about the teaching that we, myself included, because I will be sitting
00:11:36.980 there listening, the teaching that we will receive this year.
00:11:40.060 I'm excited for the opportunity to get to speak and encourage you.
00:11:43.480 I cannot wait to worship with the 4,000 of you that are already signed up, hopefully the 5,000
00:11:50.860 of you who will be here at this conference.
00:11:53.460 This is the biggest conservative women's conference out there.
00:11:58.760 And I say conservative women because this is conservative theologically, but this is primarily 0.93
00:12:04.980 a Christian conference.
00:12:06.240 We're going to be learning about apologetics, how to apply the truth of God's word to motherhood,
00:12:11.200 to health, to politics, to culture.
00:12:14.400 How do we act in a way that is clear and courageous and truly compassionate in every sphere that
00:12:20.000 we occupy?
00:12:21.120 I cannot wait for this year's Share the Arrows.
00:12:23.580 It's October 11th in Dallas, Texas.
00:12:26.040 Go ahead and get your tickets today before we sell out.
00:12:29.040 And let me just tell you a little secret.
00:12:31.880 You can use the first name of any of these speakers plus the number 15 when you press unlock
00:12:37.720 on the Ticketmaster page.
00:12:39.660 That will get you 15% off any ticket except for VIP tickets.
00:12:43.740 So you could use Shauna 15.
00:12:46.480 You could use Abby 15.
00:12:48.740 I think Allie 15 even works.
00:12:50.680 So that's how you can get your discount.
00:12:52.740 Share the Arrows this year is brought to you by our friends at Carly Jean Los Angeles.
00:12:57.340 So go to sharethearrows.com and get your tickets.
00:13:00.600 Also, let me tell you about 7 Weeks Coffee.
00:13:02.660 This is America's pro-life coffee company.
00:13:06.140 They donate 10% of every sale of their amazing coffee to pro-life pregnancy centers across
00:13:12.040 the country.
00:13:12.700 And let me tell you, because you have bought 7 Weeks Coffee, you have allowed your coffee
00:13:17.240 to serve a higher purpose because of the generosity of the owners of 7 Weeks Coffee.
00:13:21.740 They have donated over $1 million to these pregnancy centers across the country.
00:13:28.500 So these centers are able to get the material resources that they need, provide the free
00:13:33.040 sonograms, provide the education classes that then helps these women in crisis make a life
00:13:38.880 affirming choice.
00:13:40.440 You are allowing your coffee purchase to literally echo in eternity by buying 7 Weeks Coffee.
00:13:47.500 Join their Heartbeat Club.
00:13:48.840 You'll save 15%.
00:13:50.200 When you do that, you'll get that box of coffee to your front door every month.
00:13:53.340 Plus, when you use my code ALLY, you get an extra 10% off your order.
00:13:58.900 So that's 7weekscoffee.com, code ALLY.
00:14:07.720 So first, before we get into what the Bible says about divorce, I think it's probably a
00:14:12.620 good setup to give us some good context to talk about what the world has to say and what
00:14:19.720 the world tells us about divorce.
00:14:21.360 So first, let's get into some numbers.
00:14:25.040 In 2022, the divorce rate was 14.56 per 1,000 married women aged 15 and older, a slight increase
00:14:36.080 from 14 in 2020 and 2021, but still below the pre-pandemic level of 15.5 in 2019.
00:14:45.740 This rate peaked in 1979 at 22.6.
00:14:51.080 Isn't that interesting?
00:14:52.620 The popular idea that 50% of marriages end in divorce comes from kind of a flawed calculation,
00:14:59.020 so you've probably heard that before, that 50% of marriages end in divorce, but that's
00:15:05.200 not actually true.
00:15:06.840 That divides the annual divorce rate by the annual marriage rate.
00:15:09.960 But this number compares two different groups, those getting divorced and those getting married
00:15:15.020 in any given year and tells you nothing about the long-term trends and the overall pool of
00:15:19.520 marriages.
00:15:20.760 Now, when you break down the demographics that are most likely to get a divorce, Asian Americans
00:15:26.460 have the lowest divorce rates.
00:15:28.060 It's so interesting to look at statistics around just Asian Americans and their low divorce rates,
00:15:34.780 their low fatherlessness rates, so very rare for them to have a child out of wedlock, high
00:15:40.800 graduation rates, high test scores, low poverty rates, and welfare dependence rates.
00:15:47.260 It really all goes back to the cohesion of the family.
00:15:50.860 Black Americans have the highest divorce rate, 30.8 per 1,000.
00:15:57.660 And then you've got Hispanic Americans and then at 18.5% and white Americans at 15.1%.
00:16:07.040 First marriages last eight to nine years on average, second marriages seven to 10 years,
00:16:13.660 and third marriages five to eight years, which is very unfortunate.
00:16:19.840 So even if that number isn't 50%, you can see that in general, the culture does not see
00:16:27.140 marriage as necessarily permanent.
00:16:30.560 And we'll find a graph to put up.
00:16:32.740 I would also like, Bree, if you could look up when no-fault divorce was allowed, and if
00:16:41.280 you could find a graph that we can put up that shows the divorce rate increasing at least
00:16:47.100 over time as we'll get into it, it has gone down a little bit in recent years, but it
00:16:51.820 has increased over time.
00:16:53.740 Now, what does the world actually think about marriage?
00:16:56.820 According to what they say, there are all kinds of op-eds, especially in recent years
00:17:01.440 post-COVID, of usually women talking about how hard it is to be married and the unfair
00:17:10.320 disproportionate load that women carry in marriage and how liberating it is to get a divorce. 1.00
00:17:15.740 There's a New York Times op-ed titled, A 50-50 Custody Arrangement That Could Save Your Marriage.
00:17:22.520 This was in 2022 by Amy Schoen.
00:17:25.500 She argued that her life was easier as a divorcee than it was during her marriage because of
00:17:30.500 her 50-50 custody agreement with her ex-husband.
00:17:34.180 She said that divorced dads were forced to do their fair share of managing the household
00:17:38.020 and caring for the children and for themselves.
00:17:40.320 She implied that even married couples should try a 50-50 arrangement.
00:17:46.200 Look, nothing is really 50-50 in marriage.
00:17:48.840 Everything is kind of like 100-100.
00:17:52.760 But there are different seasons of life where people have different responsibilities and things
00:17:58.100 simply look different.
00:17:59.840 There was a time when Chief Relatedbro, he was having to go into an office from like he
00:18:05.140 had to leave maybe at 7 a.m.
00:18:06.840 He didn't get back until 6 p.m.
00:18:09.740 And I was doing almost all of the load of the parenting and the cooking and all of the
00:18:17.880 stuff around the house.
00:18:19.160 And that was fine.
00:18:20.300 That was a season of life.
00:18:21.660 And now we work together full time.
00:18:23.760 And there are a lot of things that we share.
00:18:26.120 And our schedules look different.
00:18:27.620 And there have been so many different seasons where we just help each other out.
00:18:32.820 That doesn't mean you change the biblical dynamic of the husband being in the lead and the wife 0.91
00:18:38.020 submitting to the husband.
00:18:39.820 But there are different kinds of responsibilities that are shared in different seasons of life.
00:18:45.540 So this person wants it to be clear cut 50-50.
00:18:50.120 And it comes down to not understanding, I think, sacrificial love.
00:18:54.600 She said, every divorced woman I know is happier post-marriage, even the ones who didn't instigate 0.99
00:19:02.180 or want the split.
00:19:04.120 Now, that may be true.
00:19:05.760 And if your goal in life primarily is happiness, then having fewer responsibilities that demand
00:19:11.880 your time, energy, and sacrifice will make sense to you.
00:19:16.140 But if it's something deeper, if your purpose is more than just your fleeting happiness and
00:19:21.560 doing things that are convenient for you, then this is not the route to take, which indicates
00:19:26.940 the direction that we'll be going in.
00:19:28.740 So there is a note from Brie about no-fault divorce.
00:19:32.300 So no-fault divorce began in the United States with California's adoption of the Family Law
00:19:36.820 Act in 1969.
00:19:38.720 This law, signed by Governor Ronald Reagan, allowed couples to divorce without proving faults,
00:19:44.100 such as adultery or abuse.
00:19:46.380 Prior to this, at-fault divorce was the only option in most states.
00:19:50.600 So I'm sure that the change in this law that then spread across the nation over the subsequent
00:19:58.660 years probably had an effect on that peak that we talked about in 1979 with the divorce
00:20:05.920 rate.
00:20:06.340 Ronald Reagan, I love you, but there were a lot of bad things that he did when he was in
00:20:11.580 charge.
00:20:11.960 I mean, a couple bad things.
00:20:13.140 Maybe not a lot of bad things.
00:20:14.520 But a couple bad things like no-fault divorce and then also mass amnesty.
00:20:19.900 It's just true that history is very complicated.
00:20:22.980 There's another example that conveys the message of what the world thinks about divorce.
00:20:27.520 Atlantic senior editor Honor Jones wrote in a 2022 op-ed that her ex-husband was a good
00:20:33.260 man and only vaguely explained why she ended up leaving the marriage. 0.99
00:20:37.180 She said, children are supposed to be the death of freedom, but that hasn't been my experience.
00:20:42.700 Okay, that's a good thing.
00:20:44.780 But she said, it was my marriage that took these things from me, free time and free thought.
00:20:50.060 She said, I could be myself and be a mother.
00:20:52.060 I got divorced because I could not be myself and be a wife.
00:20:56.440 This is the Glennon Doyle-ification of women and the culture. 0.87
00:21:01.540 In another article, she explains, I loved my husband.
00:21:05.460 It's not that I didn't, but I felt that he was standing between me and the world, between
00:21:09.520 me and myself.
00:21:11.000 Everything I experienced, relationships, reality, my understanding of my own identity and desires
00:21:17.060 were filtered through him before I could access them.
00:21:20.340 I, I, I, me, me, me, my feelings, my identity, what I want.
00:21:26.440 And the Guardian talked about, an anonymous writer in the Guardian did a week-long series
00:21:33.100 talking about the ending of marriage and that it doesn't have to be that big of a deal when
00:21:41.520 you get a divorce.
00:21:42.420 She said, there doesn't have to be dramatic infidelity or plate-smashing argument.
00:21:46.140 Sometimes a handful of tiny sad moments are enough to indicate that a relationship is
00:21:51.100 fragmenting.
00:21:51.920 So such a low tolerance for hardship, such a low view of marriage.
00:21:56.920 I've seen this multiple times on social media, these things called divorce parties, where 0.98
00:22:02.280 people celebrate divorcing their husband.
00:22:05.160 And just to be clear, like we are not talking about situations in this segment of abuse.
00:22:11.480 We are talking about mild unhappiness.
00:22:15.080 Um, okay, so the text on this video that I'm about to play says, POV, your friends throw
00:22:21.740 you an iconic divorce party.
00:22:25.180 So this is a trend that's going on.
00:22:27.240 Very cursed, Satu.
00:22:28.540 Here's my hot take.
00:22:46.520 Even if you are divorcing someone, say in some other hypothetical scenario for abuse, as we'll
00:22:54.720 get into, that is a legitimate reason to get yourself safe and to leave, that's not something
00:23:00.260 to glorify.
00:23:02.520 That's not something to celebrate in this way.
00:23:04.900 No matter what, divorce is sad.
00:23:07.920 It's not something that should be met with a party.
00:23:11.080 All right.
00:23:11.460 So now what does the Bible have to say first about what marriage is?
00:23:17.300 Because we have to know what marriage is, why it's important to know why divorce matters
00:23:22.380 so much to God.
00:23:23.840 But let me pause and tell you about our next sponsor, and that is Good Ranchers.
00:23:28.760 Y'all, you know, I've been telling you for years, and it's still true.
00:23:32.340 We love Good Ranchers in our home.
00:23:34.620 We made some salmon this weekend.
00:23:36.880 We've got some fillets that we love.
00:23:39.940 Chief Related Bro made fillets a couple of weeks ago.
00:23:42.680 So good.
00:23:43.820 So full of flavor.
00:23:45.100 Just add a little salt and pepper.
00:23:46.760 Amazing.
00:23:47.940 Good Ranchers, a great way to get in healthy protein every day. 0.98
00:23:52.560 We love their non-pre-marinated chicken breasts because our kids will actually eat that any
00:23:58.840 night that we cook it.
00:24:00.200 And that's just a great way to make sure that they're eating healthy and getting their protein
00:24:03.520 as well.
00:24:04.780 Unfortunately, most of the products in the grocery store that say made in the USA are actually
00:24:09.960 imported from abroad.
00:24:11.260 They're just packaged in the US, and they are legally allowed to say that they're made in
00:24:15.160 the US.
00:24:15.620 If you want to guarantee that all of your meat is from an American farmer ranch, get
00:24:20.140 your meat from Good Ranchers.
00:24:21.600 Saves you time.
00:24:22.720 Saves you money.
00:24:23.440 It shows up on your front door on dry ice every month.
00:24:26.220 The Allie Beth Stuckey Custom Box is at goodranchers.com slash Allie.
00:24:30.220 You can see my favorites there.
00:24:31.920 Use code Allie for $40 off. 0.93
00:24:33.980 That's goodranchers.com slash Allie.
00:24:36.300 Code Allie. 1.00
00:24:36.960 All right, so what is biblical marriage?
00:24:46.340 We see it in the very beginning.
00:24:48.400 It's so significant, as we've talked about so many times.
00:24:51.900 The Bible starts with a marriage and ends with a marriage. 0.96
00:24:54.920 It starts with this physical marriage between Adam and Eve.
00:24:58.320 We read this in the very first chapter of the first book of the Bible.
00:25:02.100 It's like God is saying, if you don't get further than the first chapter, understand
00:25:06.940 this.
00:25:07.820 This is fundamental to our theological understanding, but also societal cohesion and survival.
00:25:15.200 Genesis 1, 27 through 28.
00:25:17.160 So God created man in his own image and the image of God, he created him.
00:25:22.380 Male and female, he created them and God blessed them.
00:25:26.000 And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion
00:25:31.700 over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing
00:25:36.020 that moves on the earth.
00:25:38.700 So that he married them together.
00:25:40.320 He said that the man and the woman are made for each other. 0.98
00:25:42.780 Before this verse, the first time that God says that something is not good, he says it
00:25:48.640 is not good for man to be alone.
00:25:50.940 He had created all of these other things, the stars, the land, the animals, vegetation.
00:25:58.040 And he had said over and over again, it was good.
00:26:01.840 And then he made man in his own image, but he saw that man is alone, was alone.
00:26:07.340 And he said, this is not good for a man to be alone.
00:26:10.380 I will create a helper suitable for him.
00:26:13.200 And so he creates Eve and Adam rejoices over this.
00:26:18.000 He says, bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.
00:26:21.320 She is just in awe of the beauty of this woman that God created just for him.
00:26:27.780 He creates this marriage between Adam and Eve, man and woman, to be for life, to be a 0.83
00:26:36.400 covenant.
00:26:37.000 Genesis 2.24.
00:26:38.260 Therefore, a man.
00:26:39.700 So this is beyond Adam and Eve now.
00:26:42.260 He's not just saying, okay, this was just for Adam and Eve.
00:26:44.540 Other people can do other things.
00:26:46.140 No, he's saying, therefore, because I have done this, because I have made these first
00:26:51.640 parents, Adam and Eve, together for each other in marriage, a man shall leave his father and
00:26:58.280 mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
00:27:04.980 That is a connection that cannot be broken.
00:27:09.420 This is how much God cares about marriage, that he set it up in the very beginning.
00:27:15.020 As an example for all men and women to follow.
00:27:19.940 When God instituted marriage originally in creation, there were no provisions for divorce.
00:27:25.400 None, R.C.
00:27:26.300 Sproul says in a sermon in 2006 called Marriage and Divorce.
00:27:30.420 Marriage was intended to be forever.
00:27:33.020 The marriage vow does not say as long as we stay in love, as long as we get along, as long
00:27:38.960 as we remain faithful.
00:27:40.100 Rather, the marriage vow is as long as we both shall live.
00:27:45.940 And that's absolutely true.
00:27:47.740 While the Bible does talk about different forms of relationships, like we see with Hagar,
00:27:55.100 there was a surrogacy situation.
00:27:56.940 We see, of course, Solomon, polygamy, and all of his wives. 0.99
00:28:02.140 And some people will say, see, marriage wasn't really just between man and a woman.
00:28:06.840 And what we have to remember is that in every situation, including Jacob and Leah and Rachel,
00:28:13.280 every situation in which there was marriage or sexual relations or even sexual desire,
00:28:19.300 like when we think of David and Bathsheba, outside of marriage between one man and one woman,
00:28:25.580 it causes problems.
00:28:27.560 Okay?
00:28:27.800 These were not written about positively.
00:28:30.040 These were written to show us a variety of things, one of which is when we go outside
00:28:36.900 of God's original design, we suffer consequences from that.
00:28:41.260 Remember, not everything in the Bible is prescriptive.
00:28:45.120 Sometimes it's just descriptive.
00:28:47.160 It's just saying what happened.
00:28:48.760 And that actually lends a lot of credibility to Scripture because if the writers of the Bible
00:28:52.960 were trying to make themselves look good, if they were trying to make man look strong
00:28:57.320 and wise and victorious and make Israel look awesome, they would have written things very
00:29:02.800 different.
00:29:03.540 But they write about when their leaders messed up, when they sinned, when they did things
00:29:09.520 that were straight up stupid and rebelled against God and suffered the consequences for 0.61
00:29:14.560 it.
00:29:14.720 So some things are simply descriptive, not prescriptive.
00:29:20.400 Deuteronomy 17, 17, when God is outlining the regulations for the king of Israel, he says
00:29:27.160 he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire
00:29:32.860 for himself excessive silver and gold.
00:29:36.920 More women, more problems. 1.00
00:29:38.780 That's what he's saying, that his heart will turn away from the devotion to God that is required
00:29:43.540 to be a righteous king of Israel.
00:29:46.860 Also, we see Exodus 20, 14, one of the Ten Commandments, you shall not commit adultery.
00:29:53.300 And in fact, two of the commandments of the Ten Commandments, that's a lot, have to do with
00:30:00.620 keeping your desires, your eyes, your hands, your faithfulness to your wife, exclusive to
00:30:08.280 her.
00:30:09.040 Exodus 20, 17, you shall not covet your neighbor's house.
00:30:12.000 You shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his
00:30:17.420 ox or his donkey or anything that is your neighbor's.
00:30:19.940 And so it's not enough not to do it.
00:30:23.000 You're not even supposed to want to do it.
00:30:25.220 So guard your heart against sinful desires.
00:30:29.720 The book of Proverbs continually warns against adultery, which points to the significance of
00:30:35.540 the exclusivity of marriage, the permanency of marriage.
00:30:40.980 In the Gospels, Jesus reiterates God's original design for marriage.
00:30:45.680 Mark 10, 6 through 9, he is answering a question to the Pharisees about divorce.
00:30:52.260 They're trying to trap him as the Pharisees often did.
00:30:55.740 And Jesus says,
00:30:57.280 But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.
00:31:00.620 Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two 0.97
00:31:05.320 shall become one flesh.
00:31:07.540 So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
00:31:10.880 What, therefore, God has joined together, let not man separate.
00:31:17.940 So we've got our five R's that we talk about typically when we're defining marriages between
00:31:23.420 one man and one woman.
00:31:24.680 And hopefully so far as you're hearing scripture, you see that reiterated over and over again.
00:31:29.620 It's never described as gender neutral or interchangeable between men and women over
00:31:35.060 and over again.
00:31:35.640 It's very specific, including in Jesus's description.
00:31:38.760 One man, one woman, that's marriage. 0.98
00:31:41.940 The only definition of marriage. 0.52
00:31:43.760 Rooted in creation.
00:31:45.560 Reiterated throughout scripture, like honor your father and mother.
00:31:49.140 Repeated by Jesus himself, as we just read in Matthew 19.
00:31:53.320 And then our fourth one, representative of Christ and the church.
00:31:58.220 We read this in Ephesians 5.
00:32:01.020 He says in verse, Paul says in verse 31 through 32, therefore, a man shall leave his father 0.99
00:32:07.060 and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
00:32:10.300 This mystery is profound.
00:32:11.840 And I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
00:32:15.320 And if you back up a little bit, he roots his commands to the wife to be submissive to
00:32:20.200 her husband and the husband to be loving to his wife in this earthly representation of the
00:32:27.480 eternal reality of Christ's marriage to the church.
00:32:32.060 Christ is depicted as the groom of his church.
00:32:35.520 That is the universal body of believers in Christ here on earth.
00:32:41.300 And we are his church.
00:32:42.660 We are his bride.
00:32:43.700 And he is our groom.
00:32:45.520 And the faithfulness in marriage, even though we're talking about two imperfect people,
00:32:50.460 is to reflect the faithfulness, the unwavering dedication and love and cherishing and commitment
00:32:58.820 to sanctification and holiness that Christ demonstrates to us, his people, his flock,
00:33:05.220 his sheep.
00:33:06.320 According to Desiring God, this is the ministry by John Piper, marriage was created by God as
00:33:12.880 a picture of the covenant-keeping love of Christ and his church.
00:33:16.920 Jesus said, what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
00:33:21.420 John Piper said this in his Ask Pastor John podcast.
00:33:27.640 We, of course, see throughout Paul's letters to Timothy and Titus the importance of marriage
00:33:33.380 and how faithfulness to one wife indicates that you are a good, responsible leader.
00:33:39.020 We see 1 Timothy 3.2, an overseer in the church must be above reproach, the husband of one wife. 0.91
00:33:46.100 1 Timothy 3.12, let deacons be the husband of one wife. 0.91
00:33:50.660 Titus 1.5-6 says, if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife and his children are
00:33:58.040 believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination, that these elders must fit
00:34:04.020 those qualifications.
00:34:05.300 Pastor Chuck Swindoll said in an article published on Insight for Living, at the most basic level,
00:34:12.240 the phrase husband of one wife refers to a man who is married to one woman and living in
00:34:16.460 harmony with her.
00:34:17.780 It implies sexual purity and a reputation for devotion to his mate.
00:34:22.320 This would have been countercultural at the time.
00:34:25.360 It would have been seen as absolutely radical because at that point, women were seen as property. 1.00
00:34:32.180 Prostitution was rampant.
00:34:34.240 You could take as many slaves as you wanted as concubines, and it wasn't frowned upon. 0.99
00:34:39.120 There was no stigma around this.
00:34:41.420 This is just how this ancient pagan world in the Roman Empire functioned, because they operated 0.51
00:34:48.180 under this philosophy that you were only a full person if you had the fullness of the logos.
00:34:54.720 And that is word or reason or rationale.
00:34:56.700 And the belief was that only the adult free male did.
00:34:59.020 So the woman didn't really have it. 0.99
00:35:00.980 Children didn't really have it.
00:35:02.140 They were sexually exploited and aborted and murdered and all kinds of things.
00:35:06.800 And so the adult free male was really seen as being able to do whatever he wanted to do,
00:35:11.100 exploit whoever he wanted to exploit.
00:35:13.500 And so Paul writing to people at this time saying, no, no, no, you have to cherish your
00:35:18.140 wife.
00:35:18.620 You have to protect your wife.
00:35:20.760 Don't provoke your wife.
00:35:22.120 Don't provoke your children to anger.
00:35:24.200 But you are to love her.
00:35:25.360 You are to care for her.
00:35:26.400 And she is the only one that she should be having a sexual relationship with. 1.00
00:35:30.720 That was radical at the time.
00:35:32.400 And guess what?
00:35:33.140 That was really good news for women. 0.97
00:35:35.740 That was really good news for children.
00:35:37.580 So any feminist out there who wants to read this and feel restricted by it, know that this 1.00
00:35:42.040 was God's good grace and protection specifically for vulnerable women and children.
00:35:46.900 It took the capital L logos, Word Made Flesh, John 1, to come and overturn and revolutionize 0.98
00:35:52.980 how culture saw vulnerable people.
00:35:55.740 All right.
00:35:56.420 We've got one more point on what marriage is, according to the Bible.
00:36:00.480 But let me pause and tell you about our next sponsor.
00:36:02.980 That's Adele Natural Cosmetics. 0.91
00:36:05.180 I love Adele.
00:36:06.400 I use their products every day.
00:36:08.400 I use their essential oil-based cleanser every day.
00:36:11.600 It makes my skin feel soft and bright and moisturized.
00:36:15.840 I need that.
00:36:16.440 I tend to have drier skin.
00:36:17.760 So I need all the help I can get.
00:36:19.520 And Adele has just been a game changer for my skin's texture. 0.87
00:36:23.240 I love that it is all natural, all natural ingredients right from God's Medicine Cabinet.
00:36:28.880 You don't have any synthetic chemicals or fragrances.
00:36:32.060 It is all organic, natural stuff that is so good for your skin.
00:36:36.900 They've got a couple products that you should try.
00:36:39.120 One of them is the Lotion Bar.
00:36:41.320 Another is the Facial Moisturizing Stick.
00:36:44.420 And this is just a great way to get moisturized without that, like, greasy mess of some of
00:36:50.240 the lotions out there.
00:36:51.820 It's really gentle but effective.
00:36:53.800 Whether you have sensitive skin or acne-prone skin, it's not going to make you too oily.
00:36:58.000 Just perfectly soft and moisturized.
00:37:00.280 Go to adelnaturalcosmetics.com.
00:37:02.380 Use code ALLY.
00:37:03.540 You'll get 25% off your first-time purchase.
00:37:06.520 That's adelnaturalcosmetics.com.
00:37:08.900 Code ALLY.
00:37:09.660 So, number four was representative of Christ in the church.
00:37:17.960 Number five is reflective of the gospel.
00:37:21.200 The amazing thing is, is that the Bible starts with a marriage and it also ends with a marriage.
00:37:27.820 Wow!
00:37:28.580 Revelation 19, 6-8.
00:37:30.340 Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters
00:37:35.260 and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out, hallelujah, for the Lord our God,
00:37:40.860 the Almighty, reigns.
00:37:42.500 Let us rejoice and exult and give Him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come.
00:37:47.720 This is the Lamb of God who also comes back as a mighty lion, Jesus Christ Himself, and
00:37:53.480 His bride has made herself ready.
00:37:55.840 That is the church.
00:37:56.680 That's us.
00:37:57.300 That's the universal body of believers.
00:37:59.200 We are anticipating this wedding supper, this ultimate uniting with Jesus.
00:38:05.640 It was granted her, the church, to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure, for
00:38:10.300 the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
00:38:14.000 And the saints and all the members of the household of God, again, are all believers who
00:38:19.100 have been saved by grace through faith in Christ alone.
00:38:23.000 There's a Presbyterian pastor named Trent Castro, and this is the Denomination's official magazine.
00:38:31.380 He wrote an article that says this about this culminating passage of not only Scripture,
00:38:37.600 but all of time.
00:38:38.960 So it's not just that the Bible starts and ends with the marriage, it's that time starts
00:38:42.780 and ends with the marriage.
00:38:43.800 The marriage supper of the Lamb is the culmination of every biblical feast.
00:38:48.480 It is the end of God's redemptive work and the beginning of perfect, eternal communion
00:38:53.080 between Christ and His bride to the church.
00:38:55.740 The great feast described in Revelation is our future.
00:39:00.600 Okay, so now we have a better understanding of what marriage is.
00:39:05.660 It is not an agreement between two people who want to have sex.
00:39:10.640 It is not just a promise that is made between two people who really like each other.
00:39:17.720 It is not just a partnership.
00:39:20.480 It is not just a team coming together with a shared goal.
00:39:24.740 It is not just an earthly human institution.
00:39:28.700 Whether you want to believe it or not, there is a spiritual and eternal significance reflecting
00:39:35.640 and representation in the earthly combination covenant between one man and one woman in marriage.
00:39:44.380 There's no such thing as any other kind of marriage, by the way.
00:39:47.640 We see so clearly here.
00:39:49.060 It's not possible for two women to be married. 1.00
00:39:51.380 It's not possible for two men to be married.
00:39:53.860 The law in America might say so, but the law can't change what God has defined because
00:40:00.340 God predates America and predates the law and He is the source of truth and He created
00:40:05.600 marriage, one man, one woman for life as a reflection of the eternal marriage between Christ and
00:40:13.720 His church.
00:40:14.800 Crazy, crazy how much this actually matters.
00:40:18.100 So it is no wonder that we read, for example, in Malachi 2.16 that God hates divorce.
00:40:26.700 But this is not all the Bible has to say about divorce.
00:40:31.060 And before we even say specifically what these verses have to say about the tearing apart of
00:40:37.980 a marriage, it's just important for us to realize that as we are reading Scripture, if
00:40:42.640 we love God, we read Scripture asking, what does God want?
00:40:47.320 What does He want?
00:40:48.580 What is He asking of me?
00:40:50.220 How can I best please Him?
00:40:52.060 How can I best glorify Him?
00:40:54.500 That is what you think when you're thinking of someone that you love, whether it's a spouse,
00:41:00.480 whether it's even just a friend, whether it's someone in your life.
00:41:03.180 When you love someone, you want to meet their needs.
00:41:07.340 And God doesn't have any needs, but I'm using an earthly comparison here.
00:41:10.880 You want to go above and beyond for them.
00:41:13.400 You're motivated not by fear, but by love for them.
00:41:17.440 But if you are reading the Bible asking, what can I get away with?
00:41:21.240 What can I use as a loophole to sin?
00:41:26.880 How can I kind of finagle these verses and pick and choose different rules and say, well,
00:41:32.660 that counts and that doesn't count?
00:41:35.600 You are not operating from a place of loving God.
00:41:38.620 We read the Bible asking, how can I glorify God best?
00:41:41.280 Not what can I get away with?
00:41:43.100 So people who say, well, the Bible doesn't talk about divorce all that much.
00:41:46.080 It talks about marriage a lot.
00:41:47.060 So we don't ask ourselves, what does God say in the negative, but what does he say in
00:41:51.680 the positive?
00:41:53.600 So let's look at Malachi 2, 13 through 16.
00:41:57.200 So the prophet Malachi is condemning unjust divorce as a violation of God's covenant,
00:42:02.660 emphasizing that it disrupts the sacred unity of marriage.
00:42:05.660 It harms spiritual well-being and it negatively impacts the community.
00:42:11.320 So this is the commentary from my favorite study Bible that I use, and that is the ESV
00:42:17.360 study Bible.
00:42:18.600 So here is the prophet Malachi speaking to God's people.
00:42:22.700 And this is the second thing you do.
00:42:24.520 You cover the Lord's altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards
00:42:28.660 the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand.
00:42:31.820 But you say, why does he not?
00:42:34.300 Malachi is answering, because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth
00:42:39.020 to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
00:42:44.140 Did he not make them one with a portion of the spirit and their union?
00:42:48.060 And what was the one God seeking?
00:42:50.480 Godly offspring.
00:42:52.560 So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your
00:42:57.200 youth.
00:42:57.800 For the man who does not love his wife, but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel
00:43:02.500 covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts.
00:43:05.620 So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not be faithless.
00:43:11.240 So some translations say, as I said earlier, Malachi 2.16, that God hates divorce.
00:43:19.040 The NASB, for example, says, for I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel.
00:43:25.780 And this is more commentary.
00:43:28.460 This is no, there is no doubt that God hates divorce because it destroys what he loves.
00:43:32.320 Marriage is the Lord's holy institution, which he loves.
00:43:36.660 Malachi 2.11 specifically, we can say that God hates divorce for at least three reasons.
00:43:42.560 One, it breaks a solemn vow.
00:43:44.300 Two, it is harmful.
00:43:45.860 Number three, God hates divorce because it illustrates apostasy and damnation.
00:43:50.880 Because it is that earthly reflection of an eternal reality.
00:43:55.100 It is an earthly representation of the separation of Christ and his church, which we know won't 0.68
00:44:04.220 happen because of the faithfulness of Christ.
00:44:06.380 He's not here saying that everyone who gets a divorce is automatically going to hell, but
00:44:10.520 he's saying that is what it represents on an earthly level.
00:44:14.760 That is the picture that it paints.
00:44:17.240 Of course, in the Old Testament, there was divorce.
00:44:20.140 God created provisions for divorce, which Jesus explains later that this was not because
00:44:26.200 God wanted divorce or because he liked it, but because people were sinful.
00:44:31.140 And so because people were sinful, God had to create a law and he had to create a way to
00:44:35.760 deal with people's sin.
00:44:37.100 It's actually very gracious of God to deal with people's sin through the law and through
00:44:41.640 the sacrifices that we see in the Old Testament, because it shows how much he wanted a relationship
00:44:46.560 with his people, so much so that he not only went through Moses to distribute this law,
00:44:54.560 which in some ways seems very complicated, but later we see that he sent his own son to
00:44:59.240 die so that we would be cleansed and he could have a relationship with us. 0.77
00:45:03.120 So we see in Deuteronomy 24, for example, that there are all these kinds of provisions for
00:45:08.300 divorce, how you can have a certificate of divorce, what this means for the man, what this means
00:45:13.040 for the wife, and it was so significant that he said her former husband, this divorced woman
00:45:19.480 who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled, for
00:45:24.140 that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin upon the land that the
00:45:28.820 Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
00:45:33.600 Okay, so there's all different kinds of things there.
00:45:37.840 So it's actually talking specifically about the woman then going to another husband and then going
00:45:44.900 back to her husband, and God is saying that is defilements. You just can't do that. Divorce causes 1.00
00:45:51.080 all kinds of layers of messiness there, but we'll read about what the New Testament, how the New
00:45:57.700 Testament interprets what God's heart was behind all of that. We read in Matthew 19, 4 through 9,
00:46:04.360 he said, and we already read this verse, that Jesus says,
00:46:08.600 Have you not read that he created them from the beginning male and female? Therefore a man shall 0.84
00:46:12.040 leave his father and mother. Two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two but one flesh. 0.51
00:46:16.960 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. And the Pharisees said to him,
00:46:20.960 Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? And Jesus said to
00:46:26.840 them, Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the
00:46:31.780 beginning, it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality
00:46:39.420 and marries another commits adultery. So we have to look at that exception right there,
00:46:46.840 except for sexual immorality. What does that actually mean? Let me pause, tell you about our
00:46:53.700 next sponsor first, and that is Shopify. Shopify makes it really easy to sell your stuff. If you're
00:47:00.340 not super tech savvy, you don't have to be, you don't have to create this complicated e-commerce
00:47:05.140 site just to get people to buy your products. You just need to use Shopify. They make it as simple
00:47:10.600 as possible. And so you can focus on creating the content, the products that actually make you money
00:47:17.300 and you just let Shopify take care of the rest. They will even help you with product descriptions and
00:47:22.140 make your Shopify site look really good. This is what we use to sell our merchandise on
00:47:29.940 alimerch.com. It makes it really easy for us. You guys have never had any problems using it.
00:47:36.300 They make it really simple. So you can start actually operating your business a lot more quickly.
00:47:43.000 Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify helps
00:47:48.080 you build a beautiful online store to match your brand's style. If you're ready to sell,
00:47:53.320 then you are ready for Shopify. Turn your business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up for $1
00:48:00.880 per month trial. That's a dollar per month trial. When you use my link, Shopify.com slash Allie.
00:48:07.800 That's Shopify.com slash Allie.
00:48:15.620 We also read this in Matthew, this same idea from Jesus in Matthew 5, 31 through 32. It was also said,
00:48:23.960 whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you, 0.75
00:48:28.420 Jesus says, that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality,
00:48:32.880 makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. So we've got 0.93
00:48:41.180 some commentary on this. This is a reformed pastor teaching on marriage, David Guzik. He says,
00:48:48.040 if the divorce was not established on biblical reasons, that it was never a divorce at all in
00:48:51.760 the eyes of God. Even though the government, the community, and the people involved may have
00:48:55.700 considered it a divorce, such a divorce is only in the eyes of man and not in the eyes of God.
00:49:00.740 And the parties involved are still obligated to a marriage bond, as far as God is concerned. So
00:49:06.120 you're not free in God's eyes to go and get married and have sex with someone else. Every time you do
00:49:12.280 that, if that is the case, you are committing adultery. That's what Jesus is saying here. The Greek word 0.67
00:49:19.000 for sexual immorality is pornea, and it encompasses all illicit sexual activities, such as homosexuality, 0.56
00:49:25.820 fornication, etc. It is where we get the English word for pornography.
00:49:29.980 Through the writings of the Apostle Paul, the Holy Spirit once again affirms this lifetime
00:49:34.640 commitment of marriage in 1 Corinthians 7, verses 10-11.
00:49:39.520 To the married I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her
00:49:44.140 husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband,
00:49:49.080 and the husband should not divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7, 15.
00:49:53.620 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. So this is talking about cases of spousal 0.99
00:50:00.080 abandonment. So you've got an unbelieving spouse. They don't believe in God's precepts. They're not
00:50:06.600 honoring this as a covenant. They leave. So Paul says, in this case, the brother or sister, so the
00:50:13.100 Christian in this case, is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. So Paul seems to be saying
00:50:19.800 here that if your partner abandons you, then you can remarry, and it is not considered adultery.
00:50:28.340 Death also dissolves the marriage covenant so that widows and widowers are free to remarry, 0.75
00:50:34.060 and actually he says that they should. This is Romans 7, 2-3. For a married woman is bound by law 0.99
00:50:39.700 to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.
00:50:45.780 Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is 1.00
00:50:51.440 alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law. And if she marries another man,
00:50:56.920 she is not an adulteress. So what we see over and over again, Old to New Testament,
00:51:02.240 if you divorce for an unbiblical reason, except for spousal abandonment and sexual immorality,
00:51:09.360 you are committing adultery by getting in another marriage. Every single time. Because God doesn't
00:51:14.860 consider that second marriage a marriage, it would seem. Abuse is not explicitly mentioned as grounds
00:51:22.160 for divorce. So this is where there are a lot of questions. Abuse is not explicitly mentioned by Jesus
00:51:29.600 or by the Apostle Paul as a grounds for divorce. But there are theologians who argue that that is what
00:51:37.380 is implied if we properly translate and interpret 1 Corinthians 7.15 and Matthew 19.9. Denny Burke
00:51:46.800 is a seminary professor, and I've cited a lot of his stuff before, a very theologically thoughtful
00:51:55.040 person, and we are very aligned. He argues this in his 2013 book, What is the Meaning of Sex?
00:52:01.980 An abusive spouse has made choices that force a separation, and the abuse, therefore, can become
00:52:07.860 tantamount to desertion. That is why I conclude, Denny says, that when the abuser leaves the marriage
00:52:14.080 in this way, so by abusing his wife or children, the exception for desertion comes into play that we
00:52:19.680 see in 1 Corinthians 7.15. In any case, the victim must be protected and the abuser sanctioned.
00:52:27.540 Wayne Grudem writes this in a 2020 article for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
00:52:34.400 If an abused spouse is forced to flee from the home for self-protection from ongoing violent abuse,
00:52:40.140 in my judgment, that would be a situation where the damage is sufficiently similar to the damage from
00:52:44.860 adultery or desertion. So the divorce would be a legitimate option. So it is tantamount to abandonment.
00:52:52.780 One of the reasons for divorce that we read in 1 Corinthians is tantamount to the damage,
00:52:59.500 at least, that we see from the betrayal in adultery. There is also a pastor, Jared Wilson. He is a
00:53:07.280 Midwestern seminary professor who says physical abuse constitutes a kind of sexual immorality,
00:53:12.020 porneia, in fact, because it is direct and sinful bodily unfaithfulness. It is just as much a violation
00:53:17.560 of Ephesians 5. The marriage of Ephesians 5 marital nurture is having sex with someone outside
00:53:24.900 the relationship. It is destruction of one's body and dignity, and thus a destruction of the vow to
00:53:30.080 protect, cherish, and nurture. What we see, though, and what we understand is that marriage is supposed
00:53:40.280 to be for life. That covenant is supposed to be forever. However, we live in this very simple fallen
00:53:51.020 world, and there are provisions that God gives for separation, for protection when it comes to abuse
00:54:00.080 of you and your children, and when it comes to sexual immorality. However, when we're talking about
00:54:06.920 sexual immorality, that does not mean that you have to get a divorce. That does not mean that you
00:54:12.780 have to separate. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to reconcile, because God still considers your
00:54:18.840 marriage a marriage, and God can redeem that, and He can heal that, and He can bring people back
00:54:24.220 together. I know people who went through many, many years ago—I'm talking like decades ago—went
00:54:31.780 through infidelity and went through that betrayal and stayed together. I'm not saying that's easy,
00:54:38.720 and maybe that's not the situation that every person finds themselves in, but the goal of unity
00:54:44.620 and reconciliation in that kind of situation should be primary, because that redemption and forgiveness
00:54:54.540 and reconciliation and restoration when possible is God's will, because of all of the reasons we listed
00:55:01.220 of what marriage actually is. So there are grounds for biblical divorce, but understand that they are
00:55:09.180 rare. They are rare grounds for biblical divorce. They are not being hurt emotionally by your spouse.
00:55:19.320 They are not wanting to find yourself. They are not wondering if you made a mistake 10 years ago.
00:55:26.900 They are not wondering if the person you're married to is the same person that you married 10 years ago.
00:55:33.340 Those are not the reasons. Now, that's not to say that those aren't real problems to work through.
00:55:37.740 I'm not saying that you should just push it down. I'm saying that you should figure it out
00:55:42.060 with however much help you need, whether it's professional help, whether it's church help,
00:55:46.940 the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. So prayer, Holy Spirit help.
00:55:53.320 But your goal should be to honor God in your marriage. I'm not saying that's not difficult.
00:56:01.360 I'm not saying that that doesn't require a lot of sacrifice. But as we read in Scripture,
00:56:06.300 it is so incredibly important to the God who is love, 1 John 4, 8, for marriages to stay together.
00:56:12.460 There's also, of course, the offspring and the product of marriage that we have to consider.
00:56:20.720 And that, of course, is the kids. And what we read statistically, for example,
00:56:26.000 from the Institute for Family Studies is that children of divorce face a 35% to a 55% increase
00:56:33.680 in mortality rates with effects persisting for at least 10 years. Teen birth rates among children of
00:56:40.160 divorced parents increased by 63%. Children of divorced parents are more likely to experience
00:56:45.440 emotional and behavioral problems, with studies showing a 20% to 30% higher risk of anxiety and
00:56:52.300 depression. And I could go on and on with the statistics there, but God has ordered us and
00:56:58.440 ordered the family for kids to be protected, for kids to be cared for and stewarded and nurtured.
00:57:05.780 And that is very hard to do when you are divorced. Your kids need you to be, yes, safe. But aside
00:57:15.120 from that, they need their parents to be together. It is such a lie that kids just want their parents
00:57:21.600 to be happy. Not primarily. Sure, they would like that. Ideally, they want their parents to be
00:57:27.520 together. They need their parents to be together. All right. Before we get to this last segment,
00:57:31.640 I just want to play you this heartbreaking video that I saw of this child and this view that we
00:57:39.140 don't see very often from a girl whose parents got divorced. Here's thought three.
00:57:42.980 This is a poem I wrote about being a child of divorce. It's called One Gift. You're lucky,
00:57:48.980 they say. Two Christmases, two birthdays, two roles to play. Double the presents, double the gifts,
00:57:54.820 double the families to exist. And although it's true, they love me, they do. They don't love each
00:58:01.520 other. No, my dad is just the father of her children and her the mother. There may be two
00:58:06.860 Christmas celebrations, two birthday parties, but there's never enough of me, enough time in one
00:58:12.640 day. And then I get the text from my dad saying, hey, what do you want for your birthday this year?
00:58:17.980 And cash is what I say. No, I can't tell them what I actually want. That wouldn't be fair to say that
00:58:24.140 I want both of my parents to be there. So when my mother asks what I want next year,
00:58:29.500 cash is what I'll say. Because what I really want is something they don't want to hear.
00:58:34.940 Thank you.
00:58:36.300 Oh, sweet girl. That was great, by the way. You have a real talent for creating those
00:58:43.300 thoughts and putting them together in a poem. But that just breaks my heart so much.
00:58:49.560 Guys, our kids' well-being is more important than our wants. Our kids' well-being is more
00:58:54.120 important than our wants. Being a grown-up very often means pushing our desires, especially our
00:59:01.760 fleeting feelings aside for the well-being of other people, especially the children that have been
00:59:06.660 entrusted to us. All right. We've got actually something very hopeful to talk about here as we
00:59:15.780 end this episode. And that is the statistical trend that we are seeing, that divorce rates
00:59:22.540 are actually going down and marriage rates are going up. Praise God. Hallelujah. But let me go
00:59:28.380 ahead and pause, tell you about our last sponsor for the day. And that is NetSuite. NetSuite is what you
00:59:34.780 need if you are a business owner. Your AI-powered business management suite trusted by over 42,000
00:59:42.700 businesses. It is the number one cloud ERP for so many reasons. It brings accounting, financial
00:59:49.280 management, inventory, HR into one suite. You have one source of truth giving you the visibility and
00:59:55.720 control you need to make quick decisions. It's got real-time forecasting. And so you're peering into the
01:00:01.540 future with actionable data and with AI embedded throughout, you can automate a lot of these
01:00:06.140 everyday tasks, letting your teams stay strategic. So try it out. Go to netsuite.com slash Ali. When
01:00:14.440 you do, you can download the free ebook, Navigating Global Trade, Three Insights for Leaders at netsuite.com
01:00:20.860 slash Ali. So thankfully, there are people who have decided that divorce causes unnecessary
01:00:33.760 instability and marriage gives the much needed security and stability that people are looking
01:00:40.380 for in such chaotic times. It apparently is making a comeback. Brad Wilcox, we've had him on this show
01:00:47.540 before. He's a sociology professor at the University of Virginia. He wrote an article in the Atlantic on
01:00:53.840 July 29th about the perspective that people like Andrew Tate has. There's no benefit to men for marriage
01:01:03.220 and that men should be single. They should have lots of baby mamas, lots of kids so that, you know, 0.91
01:01:12.160 they can conquer. Basically, Andrew Tate's idea of being a man is having no self-control. And actually,
01:01:19.620 part of being a strong man is being able to rein in your most base desires. Otherwise, you're just an
01:01:25.920 animal. You are not ruling your desires. They are ruling you. And that is maybe the least masculine and
01:01:34.520 the least impressive characteristic that you can have. Lack of self-control is just the biggest ick in the
01:01:41.080 world. But this article refutes what he is saying about a lack of need for marriage and rebuts the
01:01:51.060 hostility that he articulates about marriage by showing that men actually are benefiting a lot from
01:01:58.080 marriage, and that is showing up in fewer divorce rates. So we see in 1960, divorce rate was 9.2,
01:02:07.140 went up, as we already said, 1979, 22.6. 2010, it was at 18.8, and now it is down to 14. That is pretty
01:02:18.360 awesome. Now, some people might say this is, you know, fewer people are getting a divorce, some people
01:02:24.540 or fewer people are getting married, and some people might say, well, it's because people are waiting
01:02:28.880 longer to get married, and so they really know who they want to marry. I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't
01:02:35.460 argue that. I would say maybe people are seeing the chaos and the problems that divorce causes. Also,
01:02:41.960 there is, for the first time in years, a rise in religiosity and Christian conversion, which is
01:02:48.340 exciting. We also see that kids growing up in married two-parent homes, that that number is going up
01:02:54.740 slightly. And so that's a good thing. Gosh, I mean, that's a very depressing graph, though. 85% grew up
01:03:03.880 in married two-family homes in 1970, and it has just been a steep, steep drop-off, 64% in 2014. And now
01:03:13.620 it's up slightly to 66%. So let's keep going in that direction. According to the 2024 General Social
01:03:22.100 Survey, married men and women aged 25 to 55 or over twice is likely to report being very happy with their
01:03:29.820 lives compared to their unmarried peers. Marriage changes men, this article says, but not in the 0.61
01:03:36.480 nefarious ways Andrew Tate might think. Men work harder, find more success in work after they get
01:03:41.260 married. They drink less. Marriage can channel noble characteristics and behaviors that have 0.80
01:03:46.040 classically been identified as masculinity, protection, provision, ambition, and stoicism. And of
01:03:52.640 course, it is a protection for children. It's a protection for women, just physical protection as 1.00
01:03:59.180 well as provision. So marriage is good. It is practically good. It is spiritually good. It is
01:04:06.420 eternally good. There is not a reason to dissolve your marriage just because you feel like it. Very,
01:04:12.400 very, very rarely is there a justification for divorce. This should be talked about more from the
01:04:18.400 pulpit. This should be talked about more among our friends. This should be talked about more in
01:04:24.280 society, the practical benefits of marriage, but also the beauty of the unity between one man and
01:04:30.400 one woman and the unique ability this relationship has to produce future generations. And so thank you,
01:04:38.260 God, for knowing what you're doing always, for being so wise and so loving and creating this
01:04:44.360 institution that gives you so much glory. And we as Christians should honor that, protect that,
01:04:49.620 and use it to honor him as much as possible. All right, that's all we've got time for today. We'll be
01:04:54.300 back here on Friday.