Arch Kennedy lived as an out and proud gay man until the Holy Spirit used the Word of God through Bible study fellowship to convict him of his sin. Now he writes about the goodness of God, how it transformed his life, and how it can transform yours too.
00:19:42.760And then your middle sister, how did she react?
00:19:50.100So she was, you know, I'm sure she had her thoughts on it because we're all Christian background and they, you know, they have their faith, strong faith as well.
00:20:00.820Well, I'm sure she probably knew it wasn't, but she was just one of those that wasn't going to react.
00:21:10.700And because of her illness, that also compounded the tension because I was going to, I knew in my heart, I was going to spend my time with her, helping to take care of her with my sisters.
00:21:32.240And oddly, here's the funny thing about my dad, the very one that I was the most scared to tell, I would tell him, you know, a few years later, he was the most, he was the best about it.
00:21:44.680I'm not saying accepting, but he said he knew and he loved me no matter what.
00:21:56.980And sometimes, you know, a few words is all it takes.
00:21:59.980But so after you came out to your sisters and your mom, did you feel a sense of freedom to be more public in your sexuality or what did that look like?
00:22:11.900So for the, for a short time, you know, probably six months to a year, I thought I'd never see them again because the reaction was harsh, you know, from really, and my sister and my mom.
00:22:25.920And I went for at least a good six, six months to a year, not knowing if I would ever see my family again, that they were going to, that they had disowned me.
00:23:23.120So after Macon, in my upper 20s, I got my job in Atlanta at the NBC affiliate right at the Olympics in 1996, which was a great time.
00:23:34.260Um, I, at that time in television news, you really couldn't be open about it.
00:23:43.120And so I, I kind of lived a double life publicly, you know, as far as my job was concerned and, and, and then what I would do in the, in being out in the lifestyle.
00:23:53.980But that would kind of be kept secret, the two, but my, the, the pressure of the family, that was the biggest relief for me.
00:24:03.640It didn't bother me having to live the double life publicly.
00:24:09.880So, yeah, I think the, the, the family was the part that was the most stressful because it's the people, the very people that I loved.
00:24:16.880Yeah. So you mentioned when you first decided to live as a gay man, that you found out about gay nightclubs and you mentioned the gay scene in Atlanta, which of course you didn't know about before.
00:24:30.260And you said something, and I'm not sure if it was intentional.
00:24:32.960You said there were these lawyers and doctors and all these people who seemed like decent people.
00:24:39.040And Beckett Cook, whom I know you've talked to, I've talked to, has talked about kind of like the underneath the surface of like the gay nightclub scene and the gay scene, that it is different in many ways than what is presented by the media and what people might think.
00:24:56.760And Christopher Yuan has made similar comments on the show.
00:25:01.820Yeah. And, um, it's, it's a, it is a, I just want to say it is a horrible lifestyle.
00:25:10.460I was full force into it out at the bars on my off time and the whole lifestyle revolves, revolves around sex and your sexuality, everything that is your identity, everything is revolves around that.
00:25:28.980And the superficiality of it, um, the soullessness of it, um, there's nothing redeeming.
00:25:45.500I, I, I can remember as much as I loved my partying and drinking and being out with people and living that debauchery, if you will, I can remember feeling, and this was God, I think, working in me from, is that I, I felt this is certain times I would feel, this is just not right.
00:26:51.300I mean, every event was a drinking and drugging event.
00:26:55.840Um, every party involved that, um, when I look back at it, I think, and, and I hate, I hate talking so bad about people, you know, um, but there was just nothing good about the lifestyle, Allie.
00:27:13.080I mean, it just, it was so superficial.
00:27:40.940Yes, that, you know, I would hear many people say, or, or tell me their, give me their experiences of how the church hurt them.
00:27:51.900People, you know, their church told them they were going to hell and, you know, and, and, and the resentment that so many had.
00:28:01.340Oddly, I never, in my small little town, I never had that experience.
00:28:05.760I had the best experience in church as a kid, but I don't deny that they did.
00:28:12.840I don't deny that some people had that experience because, you know, it happens.
00:28:18.720And obviously all kinds of people use drugs and alcohol, but you mentioned in your own experience of using alcohol, you use that to kind of like numb conviction,
00:28:28.620but also to make yourself feel better about this double life that you were leading, do you think that that was a key motivator in the drug and alcohol use of a lot of the people that you were spending time with?
00:28:45.860I think people were masking it, you know, it's a lot more accepted today, as you know, it's culturally very accepted.
00:28:54.420In fact, it's promoted now within companies and, and, and, and, and even churches, which is, yeah.
00:29:01.980And so, um, at that time, at least in my, you know, in the eighties and nineties, uh, people had no outlet, you know, they had no place to feel safe, I guess, or secure.
00:29:17.560And so drinking, you know, drinking or drugging definitely, um, helped, I guess, helped, you know, just to deal with that, to deal with the world that they felt so insecure in.
00:31:20.120Like, is it trauma that caused them to?
00:31:22.660Well, I don't know if a causal link is necessarily provable, but it does seem that it is more prevalent for someone who identifies as LGBTQ to have a past of enduring sexual trauma.
00:32:42.120And really, at the end of the day, for the Christian, it's like, well, it doesn't matter, because all of us are called to repentance and new life.
00:32:50.520And so that whole debate that people have had for a long time, what causes it?
00:32:54.780As you said, there could be a variety of things in a person's life that causes what God would call a disordered desire.
00:33:01.180So at what point you had these kind of inklings every now and then that, ugh, this doesn't feel right.
00:33:07.700My family knows, and this still doesn't feel right.
00:33:10.580So when would you say that kind of discomfort actually transformed into a real conviction?
00:36:15.660You know, and oh, I didn't, I did this, this was wrong, you know, or whatnot.
00:36:19.840And becoming exhausted by year three of doing it, I think it was the Holy Spirit working in me and starting to really love God more, you know, and more and more that I was sinning less and less.
00:36:38.040And I decided that celibacy was what I needed to do, that I still had the struggle, I still do speaking to you right here, right now, I still have the struggle, but God is calling me to be celibate.
00:36:57.820And that's all transpired in the last three years.
00:37:09.260Why, God, do you make me, why do you give me this, this attraction and tell me I can't do anything, that I can't be, you know, married and that I can't do this.
00:37:17.560But as I believe, this is the Holy Spirit working, as I love God more and more by studying His Word, which we all have to do, and I know this now, it makes it easier.
00:37:32.580So I begin to want Him more than I need to have sex, without being graphic, but that's the case.
00:40:28.380I can't go through this one more time.
00:40:30.840And so I sought help one more time, went through detox, into rehab.
00:40:38.620But I think also for me, at that time, God was already starting to work on me at that time, which is also what I think led me to saying yes to my sister on the invitation to do Bible study.
00:41:11.620I think of that verse in Ephesians that says,
00:41:14.300Do not be drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit.
00:41:20.580So you can either be filled with alcohol or filled with the Holy Spirit.
00:41:23.760Now, that doesn't mean that if you get drunk, you're no longer saved, but you are no longer being controlled by the Spirit within you.
00:41:30.440You are being controlled by the alcohol within you, which makes a lot of sense to me why, you know, as soon as you stopped that, the Holy Spirit was like, yeah, I'm here, and I'm ready to talk to you, and we're going this direction now.
00:42:06.520If you are looking for a great place to purchase a gift, like high-quality gift that is going to last someone forever, you got to go to Range Leather.
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00:43:40.820What I think, and this is just, this is what I feel, is it wasn't until studying the Word, you know, like I said, there's a difference with reading some Bible verses and doing a devotional, you know, every morning.
00:43:57.900And getting into a group, a small group of men who are all very versed in Scripture and to work with them discussing Scripture and studying it.
00:44:13.600And I think there's a, I think that that is where, I don't see really any other way to interpret it.
00:44:26.960I mean, okay, so I've, because it applies to me, I start looking at all the verses that even remotely reference homosexuality.
00:44:35.660And we go, here's where I don't understand why churches can say, interpret it as being okay with, well, if they love each other, they are, you know, it's okay.
00:44:50.060Um, it is quite evident that marriage is between, in Scriptures, tells us it's marriages between a man and a woman, uh, that any side, anything sexually outside of that is adultery.
00:45:05.140So, uh, and then there are clear verses, both Old and New Testament, strictly on homosexuality.
00:45:13.500So anything outside, I mean, I don't see how it's more evident.
00:45:17.180I don't see how you can interpret it any other way.
00:45:20.060I don't, I, there's not a, to me, there's not any, it's not up for interpretation.
00:45:30.180And what it came down to for you, which was, it was a very beautiful way to say it.
00:45:35.180And I know it is graphic, but you can replace what you said with so many other things that you needed God more than you wanted to have sex.
00:46:07.960And when that is where you start, then scripture makes sense.
00:46:13.540But if you're starting with, I need sex, I need money, I need fame first, and you interpret scripture that way, then of course you can pick apart the verses.
00:46:24.060So I thought that that was a very poignant way to say the right ordering of our loves.
00:46:30.920And that's the only way that any of us as Christians can operate.
00:47:01.560And when we live in the horizontal, meaning temporal things, fame, looking for fame, sex, money, none of those offer lasting, you're always needing more, in other words.
00:47:22.360But when we look in the vertical, God, that is lasting peace and lasting, you know, satisfaction, if you will.
00:47:34.820And when God becomes, you're right, I mean, that sums it up.
00:47:41.400When God eventually, and I attribute it to the Holy Spirit working within a person who stays in God's word daily, that he becomes more important than anything on the earth that we can be searching for, for satisfaction.
00:48:11.460It happened, you know, and it's, I can't tell you the peace that comes over, that came over me when I finally really did that.
00:48:23.340And I have to tell you, I think, I hear a lot of people say that they're, they're, they're saved or they're born again, but I don't think I was truly saved until.
00:48:35.380When would you say that was, that you truly became a Christian?
00:48:40.300I'd say it happened after the first, probably at least after the first year of Bible study.
00:49:02.380And then we got into John the second year, which is, of course, you know, the book of John, you tell people, okay, so if you're, if you're a new Christian or new, or, or even just, you know, looking into it.
00:49:48.380Learning that and to really get into it, you know, because even now I still like, some of it's still a little confusing, you know?
00:49:56.680It's confusing and a little frightening at times.
00:49:58.920Well, it's a different side of Jesus too, because it's Jesus, you know, it's Jesus the conqueror, Jesus who is ready to take vengeance and, you know, it's Jesus the warrior, not Jesus that was led to the slaughter as a silent lamb.
00:50:14.760I mean, it's all the same Jesus, of course, but different characteristics of him.
00:50:18.700So yeah, Revelation is very interesting.
00:50:20.820And we get to see how, you know, I think that unbelievers always like to, when they want to debate you on if Christianity is the true, if Jesus is the true God, they always want to bring up the fire and brimstone, especially that you see in Revelation.
00:50:45.380But, you know, when you study the Bible as a whole, you know, in context, you realize that his justice is perfectly balanced with his mercy, right?
00:50:56.780So, oh, you're looking at this terrible God that killed people in the Old Testament.
00:51:01.320Well, he gave, and we study this in Kings too, you know, that he gave them time after time after time to come back to him.
00:52:00.700If someone out there has someone in their life who has told them, hey, I'm gay, or they think they're transgender or something like that, what advice would you give to Christians on how we should respond in those moments?
00:53:25.280And also to be in communion with other believers and people like me.
00:53:32.160Like, I've got a long way to go, Allie, but I certainly think that people need to be in communion with people like me that may be a little farther down the road that can help them through.
00:53:45.160Because I think it helps to hear from somebody that's been through it.
00:53:53.320So for the person who is on the receiving end of someone telling them, like, hey, I'm gay, and maybe they're coming out to someone who's a Christian.
00:54:02.420For those in this audience who are on the receiving end of that conversation, what should they say?
00:54:07.780What is the best thing that they can say in that moment?